Chapter Text
It was 5pm on a Thursday afternoon and Valkyrie and Skulduggery had circled the dairy for the second time. Of all the things she was prepared for and capable of doing at seventeen, somehow grocery shopping had not made the list.
"I believe people buy milk." Skulduggery said, breaking the stare she had on the shelves.
His façade was up. Wrinkles and grey eyes and a widows peak that bordered on a receeding hairline.
"I know what people buy." Valkyrie shot back.
Skulduggery hummed and tilted his head. "And yet..."
Valkyrie sighed and grabbed a carton of milk. It was cold and damp around the box and she put it in the cart.
"Well done."
"Shut up."
They kept walking, Skulduggery pushing the cart and talking about the different kinds of vegetables, which gave Valkyrie time to fish for the reflections memories in home economics class back in third year.
Her mum usually bought the food at home. There were usually vegetables, because her mum cooked vegetables. Valkyrie had no delusions about her own intentions and yet she felt compelled to pick up a pack of baby carrots when they passed by them.
"We need bread." Valkyrie decided then.
"Which kind?" Skulduggery asked.
"Bread." She gesticulated. "White bread. Y'know. Brown bread. Whatever doesn't taste sour."
"I'd have no way of knowing. I'm a skeleton."
Valkyrie grabbed the edge of the cart and directed them in the direction of bread.
As promised there were many kinds.
"This is getting ridiculous." She muttered.
"People do certainly like their breads." Skulduggery agreed.
She rubbed her face. Then she stuck her hands in her pockets and began pacing the aisle.
"I know what bread I need to get."
Skulduggery sighed, "Valkyrie, I need to know, do you need to circle this aisle too or will your indecision break?"
"This isn't hard." She stopped picked up a loaf of Brennans. "I think my mum still buys these. I can make sandwiches with this. I can make sandwiches."
"Yes, you can." Skulduggery said encouragingly.
Valkyrie threw him another look.
"Condiments." He added. "Ketchup, Mayonaise..."
She nodded, chewing the inside of her mouth as he kept talking.
Ham. Tomatoes. Turkey. Chicken."
Valkyrie looked down at the ground feeling stupid.
Skulduggery hesitated. "Are you okay...?"
Valkyrie put the bread in the basket. "Yup."
"Are you sure?" He asked. "Your executive functioning seems malfunctioned."
She began walking away. "I'm indecisive?" She snorted. "Yeah."
"You have been better." Skulduggery said. "Is shopping for food making you sad? Because we can go right back to the immolation case."
Valkyrie laughed at that. She realised what she wanted then. "Ah, spicy chicken tenders..."
He cocked his head at her. "You just made some gruesome food association, didn't you?"
"No... I'm not a psycho." she said as he followed her.
An old lady glanced at her cautiously as she passed their trolly.
Skulduggery said, "Of course not. Not a single cannibalistic thought in that mind of yours."
"Ew. But yes."
They passed a shelf containing bags of Cabuary Mini Eggs and Valkyrie grabbed some and tossed them in with the rest.
"It's just weird." Valkyrie admitted to him. "I mean, right now my parents are probably eating dinner, the reflection is sitting in my chair at the table, and Alice is figuring out solids..."
"It seems you are, also." Skulduggery said. His voice was smooth.
"Ha. Ha. Well, yeah. This is silly. I mean, I'd end up doing this anyway if I go to university. That's a year away..." Valkyrie trailed off. She'd been pushing that one down, too.
Valkyrie looked at him. Skulduggery looked back at her.
"Valkyrie." Skulduggery said carefully. "This is neither silly, nor weird. You're just growing up."
"I am grown." She replied. "I'm basically 18." Next year.
"Yes, you'll be a proper grown up."
She rolled her eyes. He was remarkably awful at whatever it was he was trying to do.
"You don't need to comfort me. Not a child." Valkyrie told him. "Look, see? I'm fine. I'm just tired. And I'm learning how to shop. There are too many options for shampoo. We just dug a body out of a bin an hour ago."
"And maybe I feel weird." She added. "That's the sleep deprivation and left over nausea from that burlap sack and the van ride, though."
She'd spent thirty minutes being kidnapped earlier that day, then she'd broken her kidnappers fingers, forced him to take her the rest of the way to the bodies, called Skulduggery in, and checked out some charred remains. The kind of impressive output that didn't translate to Tescos.
"Do you think a list might have helped?" Skulduggery said, leading her down the cereal aisle.
"Maybe. Couldn't hurt." Valkyrie responded. "My dad makes a list, but he usually loses it half way to the shop."
"The Edgly's seem to have a knack for losing things then, it seems." Skulduggery mused. "Gordon once lost you when you were a baby."
Valkyrie frowned. "My dad also lost me as a baby. A few times apparently."
"Your family tree is both interesting and illustrating." He hummed. "Explanitory."
"I've lose case files like, two times." Valkyrie argued.
She chose Rice Krispies off the shelf in front of her.
"And how many individual documents have you lost? I rest my case."
"Your case is not rested. You also lost me in a car park last year."
"If three different people have lost you in a matter of seconds then you are the common denominator, my dear." He chuckled.
"It's all my fault." She raised an eyebrow. "Not the fully grown men?"
"We can't say for certain. Historians will argue."
"Historians are dicks." Valkyrie grumbled.
Skulduggery made an agreeing noise. "There is in fact a lot of bias to be found, I have to say. As someone who's been there for many historical events, it's for the victors."
They paused at the aisle with all the spices and jars and Valkyrie picked up an orange little bottle and then put it back. She knew squat about seasoning.
"Maybe we should be in the frozen food section." Valkyrie said.
"Because you don't intend to cook?"
"Because I don't intend to, no." She looked down into the cart and spotted the baby carrots. The plastic wrapping shone under the harsh lighting.
"Fuck it, I've got a vegetable."
"I'm certain I've heard of a pyramid..." Skulduggery followed her again.
"Exactly, I'm eating inside the triangle. I'm doing it properly."