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The Hole in Brittany’s Heart

Beyond the windows of Miss Miller’s home, bluebirds chirp while others nest deep inside the hollow trunks of trees. Inside a room once with three beds and now two, Jeanette stirs awake. Her glasses lay on the nightstand to the side of her. It was hard to care about her studies again, especially following how totaling Brittany’s collapse was. 

And Jeanette had been very tired for the last several months. Emotionally, more than physically. Her studies had suffered big time and she had missed out on being Valedictorian, an honor she strived for since she and her sisters started school to begin with. 

But it didn’t matter. Not after what happened to Brittany. Nothing in the world mattered. Not even Simon. Nothing mattered more than the sister who raised them all their lives and got nothing for it. She got up and stretched before turning to get her glasses. 

Jeanette turned to her right, and noticed that the door was open. They always closed the door before they went to bed, so why was it open now? 

Odd, she thought to herself. 

Her little sister was still sleeping, her blonde pigtails a bit messy from turning and tossing in the night. She undid her braids after everything with Brittany, and had gained a bit of weight again seeking comfort from baking. The pigtails returned after she decided she wanted to stay close to the memories of what once was. 

“Eleanor, wake up. The door’s open,” Jeanette whispered to her, who stirred a bit longer before she woke. “Hmm…?” 

Her older sister only looked despondent, which Eleanor caught onto as she noticed what Jeanette was worried about. “What…?” She asked, noticing the door wide open as well. Their first immediate thoughts were that someone had broken in, and then they remembered the last time they believed that. 

The golden record that disappeared from Brittany’s old closet. And the blonde in pigtails noticed the pink key on Jeanette’s nightstand that also belonged to their older sister.

What was that doing in their room? Brittany wouldn’t leave it behind for any reason. 

Maybe except… 

“No,” Jeanette rasped. “She couldn’t have…” 

It was the only working key to the treehouse since Brittany changed the locks. She wouldn’t have come here unless…

Eleanor clenched her eyes shut, head hung low. “She came to say goodbye, didn’t she?” 

They weren’t ready for this. 

“Oh no,” Jeanette cried as she put her head in her hands. The sobs came in heartwrenching gasps which drove Eleanor to wrap her arms around her older sister. The bespectacled Chipette shook violently with wails. “No!” She sobbed. “No, no, no, no!” 

How could it have come to this?

They tried everything! And it wasn’t enough for—

Oh god. They were the selfish ones, weren’t they? They were about to tell themselves that their ‘help’ wasn’t enough for Brittany. That she should’ve accepted their help, to do things their way.

They were the ones that made Brittany feel she didn’t have a family anymore. 

Jeanette’s sobs began to quiet after several minutes, with Eleanor letting out a few quiet sobs herself. The phone rang from the kitchen counter almost like an animal bleating, and it wouldn’t stop unless one of them got up to answer it. So Eleanor decided to get the phone since her older sister was still crying, although more quietly. 

As soon as the blonde girl picked up the phone, she was immediately met by her boyfriend on the other end. She didn’t even have time to wipe her tears away.

“Al-Alvin’s gone!” Theodore cried. 

Immediate dread churned in Eleanor’s stomach. Jeanette wiped her own tears away and felt that same dread.

“Theo, are you…?” Eleanor asked quietly, hoping that he wasn’t being serious, that he was only joking. 

“I’m not! His car isn’t here! I woke up this morning to make him his favorite pancakes, the blueberry ones with bacon… and he just wasn’t there! I don’t know what to do!” Theodore managed to explain before he began sobbing. “He didn’t even leave a note, or bring his red cap! Only his backpack and duffel bag are gone!” 

“Oh my god,” Jeanette croaked. More sobbing filled the phone, but this time it wasn’t just Theodore. In the background, she and Eleanor could hear another sound. 

Simon. 

He wasn’t crying quietly. He was heaving with guttural, panicked cries, something nobody’s ever heard from him before. Not once. With a sniffle, Theodore had to move the phone away from Simon, or else he wouldn’t be able to explain to the girls what was happening. 

“He blames himself, you guys. He told me he should’ve apologized to Alvin, shouldn’t have criticized him like he usually does. That he didn’t mean what he said. But now…”

He’ll never get the chance.

Jeanette swallowed. “B—Brittany’s gone, too. She left last night, and left the key to the treehouse in our room. We think she wanted to say goodbye.”

She was barely able to say that without breaking into tears again. Theodore stifled a sob—barely. “I had a feeling she would leave.”

The sisters went silent. “I saw her leave your house two days ago,” Theodore elaborated. “I knew something was wrong, so I wanted to talk to her like I always did. But she didn’t want to, and she punched me.” 

Eleanor’s stomach fell as Theodore sniffled again. Another voice came over the phone. 

“Girls, is it true? Brittany’s gone?” Dave asked. 

“It’s true,” Jeanette sobbed bitterly. 

The silence after that was beyond deafening. “No, no… they’re both gone?” The Seville matriarch asked again, but quieter.

“We’re going to the treehouse in a little bit,” Eleanor confirmed. “To see what’s left.” 

“We’ll be there,” Dave replied brokenly, hanging up the phone. A tearful Jeanette and Eleanor looked at each other and held hands. It was just them, now. 

The walk to the treehouse was agonizing. Jeanette, Eleanor, Simon, Theodore, and Dave took the route where the cement sidewalk meshed into the dirt. It would eventually lead them to where the Chipettes had lived for their first year off the streets. As they got closer to the treehouse, where the roof became visible with evidence of no maintenance. Brittany’s car was gone, and the windows were darkened with curtains almost protecting the five of them. 

The red outlines of the treehouse was a muted shade of pink from lack of cosmetic maintenance, while the primary white paint was dirtied and chipped. The gray “WELCOME” mat was completely faded now, the letters not visible anymore.

Jeanette held Brittany’s pink key in her trembling hand as they approached the front. “I… I almost don’t want to go inside,” Eleanor admitted shakily, as if she knew how much this would break her. Theodore held her hand, beaching her and himself for what was to come. The bespectacled brunette slid the key inside the lock and turned it. The door slowly opened and the lights came on…

There was nothing. 

The entire house was empty. The green couch—nowhere to be seen. Their old grandfather clock—vanished. Time was a meaningless space here. Nothing in the kitchen, or the pantry. The TV wasn’t here either—Brittany threw that out after the burning of her things. The five of them went upstairs where the Chipettes’ old room was. Eleanor swore she could still see her kitchen, including the oven where she baked heart-shaped cookies for Theodore for their first Valentines Day. 

Jeanette could see where her lazy stack of books once sat, near the space where her side of the room was. She could still see the blue paint that marked the space as hers. It was fitting. In Brittany’s departure she’d also taken their childhood with her. The boys were deadly silent. There was nothing they could do to comfort their girlfriends, and vice versa. Simon held her hand, but Jeanette didn’t find any comfort in it. They left the treehouse, locked the door, and went home. It felt like they were re-sealing a tomb. 

When Eleanor and Jeanette returned to Miss Miller’s house, they got busy. The brunette had brochures from top universities she was accepted to; Stanford, UCLA, Columbia, Harvard. All of the four had said yes. It was supposed to be one of the greatest days she’s ever had. It was what she’d been working for all her life, but as Jeanette sat on the couch shifting through each brochure…

She stopped. What was she doing? 

Brittany’s broken image appeared in her mind, bloodshot eyes screaming for help. Understanding. Release. Neither of which she’d get. All she (and Eleanor) could see was Brittany brokenly walking away from them two days before, after they’d just scattered Miss Miller’s ashes. She barely even looked at them. 

Jeanette grimaced, eyes closing shut in an attempt to block out the image. Eleanor, who was washing leftover dishes from yesterday evening, looked up. “What are you doing?” She asked quietly. Her older sister simply got up, grabbed the brochures in a fist and threw them in the garbage. 

The blonde girl stopped rinsing the final plate in the sink. Despite everything, she couldn’t believe her eyes. “Jeanette… you got into all of them. You’ve waited since we were eight years old. I… Brittany was so excited—”

“Brittany isn’t here anymore,” Jeanette rasped. “She’s gone. It doesn’t matter anymore.” 

“Why?” Eleanor’s voice strangled upon itself. Her steps faltered. 

“It feels like I’m dancing on her grave. All… all these years we’ve been doing that!”

“That’s not true…” Eleanor tried to say, because it wasn’t true. It was their guilt talking. 

“Why is Brittany gone, then? Huh, Eleanor? Why did our sister feel the only way out was to just… leave us behind?! To burn everything she ever owned and leave us like we were nothing to her?!?”

Jeanette was screaming in her sister’s face now. Her only sister now. Eleanor took a step back, tears in the corners of her eyes. Her arms wrapped around herself in a desperate attempt to hold onto the very little strength she had left. 

“So screw you for even suggesting that I sit in some lecture hall hundreds or even thousands of miles away, reading and writing poetry while Brittany might as well be dead!!” 

Eleanor’s eyes were red now. “I didn’t say that.” 

“Yes you did! Don’t you understand?!? This is why she’s gone! Because we told her what to do! How she should think! We have nobody to blame but ourselves for this!”

Silence followed after that. Horrified at raising her voice at her dear sister, Jeanette flung open the screen doors leading into the backyard and stumbled outside. Eleanor stayed back. Her mouth quivered dangerously. 

“I don’t want to lose both my sisters...” 

Later that evening as the sun began to set, Jeanette went back inside. She passed Eleanor who still hadn’t finished washing the last dish in the sink; she had simply left it in there. The blondie noticed a new, clean application… for a community college rather than an Ivy League university. In an apologetic tone, Jeanette explained her decision. “If I’m going to college, I need to stay here. With the family I have left,” she told Eleanor. With that, the bespectacled brunette sat in the living room and filled out the application, although her hands were trembling the entire time. 

Perhaps this is what Jeanette felt she deserved. If Brittany couldn’t have peace, she couldn’t have her dreams. At the Seville manor next door, Simon was having the same dilemma. On his bed were five brochures from Ivy League universities very similar to Jeanette’s. MIT, Princeton, Caltech, Yale. All for a PHD in Physics that he always sought from childhood. The six of them had seen it when he built his time machine a decade prior. Who would’ve known they’d lose their eldest siblings. One to grief, and the other to guilt. Simon continued to look at the brochures, brushing his fingers over them. 

Since he was born, he wanted to study how the world moved. To get an idea why things changed the way they did. He couldn’t understand a thing about Alvin, though. Simon didn’t care to comprehend why his brother operated the way he did. He got what he wanted, right? The part of him that always judged before anything had wanted Alvin to grow up and stop being… himself. 

Simon thought his older brother should be like him. Logical. Domesticated. Serious. 

Brittany was right about you. You are a narcissist! 

He wasn’t. Simon felt one of the brochures crumple in his hand. The only thing he wanted was for Alvin to be smart, to be safe. But he wasn’t here anymore, was he? And it was his fault. He let the paper fall from his hand onto the wooden floor. Simon grabbed another brochure, and the same thing happened. Then the other one, and the rest until nothing remained.

Alvin’s bed was organized and empty. His red cap still hanging on the side of the frame. Simon felt like trash. Garbage, really. If he had told his brother more often that he loved him, that he was proud of him no matter how much they drove each other crazy…

Damn! What was the point? He didn’t deserve to go to any of these universities, to study some meaningless topic when his brother was god knows where? The door creaked open soon after, and Theodore entered. He sat beside his older brother on the bed in silence. The youngest Seville didn’t even need to say anything, as the crushed papers on the floor were proof of a dead dream. 

Maybe a community college would work out better, so he could stay near his family. That’s more than what Simon believed he deserved. That night, it was Theodore’s turn to feel it. Although he was far kinder and having never judged Alvin, he still stood by when everyone was giving him shit. He felt just as guilty. 

Theodore always wanted to enroll in a culinary arts academy after high school, that was the plan from the start. He wanted to enroll in the same program as Eleanor so they could fulfill their dream of owning a restaurant together. Alvin and Brittany were gone without a trace. For all they knew, they could be suffering immensely while they baked pies that wowed their teachers. 

And that wouldn’t be okay with either of them. Both of them were going over brochures for culinary academies that night. Le Cordon Bleu in Paris was a big one, another being the more local Culinary Institute of America, although that was in New York. Eleanor fidgeted with the edges of the paper, unsure which one was right for her. 

She looked up for a moment and saw a figure sitting on the floor across from her. Its arms were scarred, eyes bloodshot, hair messy.

It was only one person.

And she wasn’t happy. 

More or less what you wanted? 

“BRITTANY!” Eleanor yelled as she lurched back, closing her eyes for a moment and then opening again. The figure was gone. The blonde choked out a sob. No way her boyfriend saw Brittany, too. 

“Wh—what’s wrong?!” Theodore yelped, holding her. It was a hallucination. She never thought it would happen.

“I…I can’t! I can’t do this!” Eleanor cried.

She threw the brochures on the bed and cried. “It doesn’t make any sense to me. I told Jeanette this morning that she shouldn’t let anything stop her dreams. Not even… you know. But here I am, looking at the schools I’ve wanted to attend and I don’t even know if I should! Look at us, Theo! Browsing through pamphlets while our siblings are missing!”

“Eleanor…” Theodore whispered pleadingly. 

“No!” She cried. “It’s wrong to just go ahead with our fantasy while they’re gone!”

“Please…”

“It’s not fair! It’s not fair at all! Brittany and Alvin are gone! And we’re supposed to just move on?!” 

“Stop it, please!” Theodore cried back, now clenching his fists. “I know! I know…”

They went silent together. 

“Should we even…?” Eleanor asked meekly. “You know… apply? Leave for the other side of the world like we deserve to even follow our dreams? Because I don’t feel I should.” 

Theodore couldn’t say anything. He just sat with his girlfriend and best friend, hoping for closure that would never arrive. “At least I know how Brittany felt,” Eleanor bitterly remarked. 

.

That night, Dave Seville sat in his office downstairs. Thinking. Just that, honestly. That’s all he’s been doing these last two days since Alvin took his car and vanished. He saw the brochures Simon dumped in the trash, and overheard Theodore telling his brother about refusing to attend culinary academy with Eleanor. They all felt they didn’t deserve their dreams. 

Dave rubbed his eyes. He had no idea what to say to either of them. Especially Vinny. She had once considered him more of a parent to Alvin, Simon and Theodore than her. She was trying to make up for that. For the last eight years, she would stay at the house most of the month. Dave was grateful and happy for it. 

She hadn’t stopped by this year like she normally did, presumably busy with things the Seville patriarch had no idea about. Vinny was forgetful with sending letters. Dave was glad she wasn’t here, although he wouldn’t ever say it out loud. Because she’d tear out his throat when the words “Alvin is gone” come out his mouth. 

How else could he put it? That was what happened. There was no way he could continue with The Chipmunks with the oldest now somewhere, broken and thinking his family hated him. Or worse… but Dave wouldn’t think about it. Otherwise he’d never be able to come out of the spiral he’d descend into. 

A decision was made. “Fellas?” He called from downstairs. “Can you come downstairs for a moment?” 

Simon and Theodore stopped what they were doing, which was very little as a matter of fact. They walked downstairs without a single word. Like knowing what they were about to hear. Sitting on the couch side by side, the two Chipmunks watched as their dad took a deep breath. 

“I know these last several days have been the worst in your entire lives. It’s the worst of mine, too. Dave looked away briefly. “I can’t pretend to comprehend how this feels for both of you… losing Alvin the way we did. Not knowing where he is, and Brittany… being gone, too.”

Theodore clenched his teary, irritated eyes shut. Simon felt as cold as Brittany the night she burned everything. 

“I keep expecting him to burst through the front door, asking if I made pizza bites, or to crack some joke none of us understand. Alvin is not coming back, I know that.” 

Dave shook his head. 

“I know he won’t like what I’m about to tell you both. Alvin’ll fight me on it all the way until I go back on my choice. You know he would.”

A flicker of a smile crossed his expression. Just for a moment however, as it vanished as soon as it appeared. Dave had to say it, otherwise he would never be able to. 

“I’m ending The Chipmunks.” 

There wasn’t a visible reaction from either of the boys, like they knew this was coming. Either way, they wouldn’t perform without Alvin. Dave’s voice shook. 

“No more tours. No more performances, no more practice, no more record deals… it’s over. I know what this means, to throw it away. I know how much it meant to you guys.”

He paused for a moment.

“It meant everything to me, too. But this isn’t about fans or topping the charts anymore. It’s about your brother vanishing in the middle of the night, thinking we couldn’t stand him his whole life. And Brittany… disappearing off the face of the Earth, walking out of her sisters’ lives like they didn’t matter. There is a hole in our family.”

Despite all of this, there was still nothing from Simon or Theodore. What on Earth could they say that hasn’t already been said? 

“I know neither of you are okay. You don’t have to pretend or tiptoe around me. Giving up your futures because you feel you failed Alvin isn’t going to bring him back... 

“Then what will?” Simon hissed, finally speaking up. “What do you expect us to do?!” 

“Nothing.” 

The now-eldest Seville boy felt like he’d been shot in the heart. 

“I wish there was something we could do. I wish I had the right words to reassure you things are going to be okay. All I know is… both of you are grieving, we all are. I…I’m sorry there isn’t anything I could’ve done more.” 

Theodore leaned into his older brother, his only brother now, who returned the embrace. Dave slowly got up and left the living room. He felt like a big, fat fucking joke. There was nothing left to say. If he stayed with them a second longer, he would’ve fallen apart in front of his boys. 

Their lives were falling apart enough already.

.

Kristina’s office was chilly. She was preparing to leave for the night, her next appointment early the following day. 

The last time she’d seen any of the Chipettes of Chipmunks was at the party they hosted for Brittany. Eleanor had called her a few days prior to that, letting them know they were holding a celebration in honor of her sister finishing treatment. What a shitstorm that turned out to be. When her clients finished physical therapy with her, Kristina was normally mandated to dispose of the folders. They weren’t supposed to linger around. 

Brittany, for all intents and purposes, did finish her physical therapy. She hadn’t just quit in the middle of it like she had initially following Spring Break. Kristina and her bonded over the breakups they both went through. Both of them reassured each other that they deserved better. 

As she sat in her dimly lit office, Kristina now thought if there was something more she could’ve done. People like her weren’t supposed to grow close to their patients, right? It didn’t matter to her if her client had been one of the most well-known pop stars on Earth. To her, Brittany had just been another girl like she was. 

They all should’ve known. If Kristina had paid attention to the faint bags under Brittany’s eyes… the way she almost limped at the party, how she constantly looked towards the front door as if just wanting to leave already…

It was set in stone from the very beginning. No matter what she, Jeanette or Eleanor had done… nothing would have stopped this. That hurt more than anything. A sob escaped Kristina before she could stop it. She sat at her desk, elbows on the table. 

They had all failed her in some way. If anyone deserved better…

.

Augustus Sinclair sat on the porch of his office. It was the afternoon of the next day, with a cup of tea and a pamphlet for a moving company in the other hand. Brittany had only left a few days ago, which left him by himself. As usual. He’d done everything he could for the kid, and now she was off somewhere… where the world would never be able to hurt her again.

To never take more than she can give again. 

Was there even anything left for Brittany to give? She hadn’t just been one of his clients, that was obvious. He sighed. Before the ex-Chipette came into his office, his business was slow. Despite Augustus telling her he’d worked with many clients… that had been at his other locations across the country. He never stayed in one spot, that was to avoid detection by the authorities.  

Anyone working in the business he was should know that from the start. Sinclair was sure Johnny had already begun his drive to Maine with Brittany’s few belongings. He was a good man, and a good friend. Plus, they both knew how much Johnny loved to drive cross-country. 

So when a cloud of dust began to kick up just outside of the dirt road, the gravel crunching beneath… revealing an unmarked moving truck… Augustus had been surprised. A tall, slightly muscular figure stepped out, red-haired with dark blue jeans and a tan leather jacket. 

“I thought you’d be halfway across Nevada by now, junior.”

Johnny smiled. “Yeah, well… thought I’d take a breather before I head to Maine.” 

“Heh. Got bored of the road already?” Sinclair joked. 

“Maybe. If I’m honest, I thought you could use the company.” 

Augustus paused. Johnny was right, he could use the company. Brittany walking off to her car with that expression of helplessness and grief kept sticking to him. 

“You may be right about that. Want some coffee? I usually don’t drink it, I know you do.”

“I’ll take it, why not?”

Sinclair nodded and led him up the steps, opening the door for him. “So this is your office in Los Angeles?” Johnny asked as he walked around. “Your other offices were smaller. This one feels like a home.” 

“It was a home, Johnny. Took it over from someone who wanted to get rid of it. Quiet little one story, two beds, two bathrooms, a living room. Didn’t have to pay much.” 

Johnny whistled. “Sure looks like you got it for free.”

“Ya’ could consider it free. Although…” 

Sinclair’s voice died as he took his seat in the office. There was a brief silence. “How was Brittany?” He asked Johnny, who took a breath. Whether it was out of sadness or not, he didn’t know. 

“The kid was sitting outside, just waiting for me. Seems like she waited for hours, honestly. It’s a helluva place, I’ll give her that. A multi-level house built into an oak tree. I’ve never seen anything like it before. The paint is faded and chipped, but I don’t expect a girl who was gonna disappear to care about that.” 

Johnny chuckled gently, however there was no genuine humor in it. “Y’know Sinclair, I could tell it was one of those places. Parties, get-togethers, sleepovers, that type. But what I saw the moment I stepped inside… it felt like entering a hole.” 

Sinclair listened intently. 

“A literal hole,” Johnny continued. “Like somebody had switched it with the girl’s heart and expected her to keep going. It’s wrong.” 

The two friends had fallen silent again. 

“She’s a good kid,” Johnny told him. 

“I know that already,” his friend responded somberly. 

Their business had seen them deal with many clients who’ve had absolutely no qualms about those they were leaving behind. Many, many people. Not many, if not any at all, felt as empty and spent as Brittany. She was nineteen. A nineteen year old shouldn’t have to go through all of this. 

“Kid helped me move the couch. Didn’t say much. After it was all done, she just watched. I barely heard her say ‘thank you’. I gave her my number so she could stay updated as I moved her stuff to the new place, and that was it,” Johnny finished, simply wanting to just tell his friend what happened without getting caught up in the memories. 

“I know Brittany ain’t okay,” Sinclair whispered. “But I hope wherever she is now… she won’t have to feel obligated to anyone again.” 

The light of the sunset began to filter through the blinds. “You should stay the night,” he spoke up again. “I can put on a movie.” Johnny simply nodded. For two longtime friends who had barely even known her, they felt like they lost something irreplaceable.

They had.

.

Woodsboro Public Library was always a peaceful spot for Simon and her to stay whenever they needed space from their… more vocal siblings. It was usually this place or the treehouse, where her broken sister had made it an isolated spot.

Nobody could get inside except her. They wouldn’t have to worry about that anymore. The brunette showed up in her usual outfit, an ill-fitting purple sweater with the sleeves way too big, her magenta skirt, and loose socks. She didn’t forget the blue ballet slippers either. There weren’t any books with her this time. It was just Jeanette and her anxiety. 

It was the same thing with Simon, who was waiting for his partner at a table on the second level of the library, away from everyone else. He noticed her open the front doors and catch his gaze.

The bespectacled Chipmunk always waved at Jeanette whenever she came over, but he couldn’t bring himself to. It’s not that he didn’t care about her; he still very much did. It was just, well…

Jeanette walked up the spiral staircase and approached him. “Hey,” she whispered.

“Hey,” Simon whispered back. 

They sat together, across from each other. 

“The Chipmunks are over,” he told her. “Dave dissolved it yesterday. Said without Alvin, there’s no point to keep going. He’s not wrong.” 

“It’s the same with us… me and Eleanor don’t have to say it. We know it’s finished.”

Simon nodded slowly and turned away for a moment. He found it hard to keep his gaze on his girlfriend. Not that he wasn’t useless in comforting her ever since this crap with Brittany started. He felt useless. 

Simon the Useless should be his new nickname, he thought to himself. 

“God, I… I didn’t want this!” Jeanette cried. We kept pushing Brittany! Forcing ourselves on her, disregarding her wishes… but she’s our sister! We’re supposed to be in this together! How come our love wasn’t enough?!” 

Simon shuddered and rasped as Jeanette whimpered, tears pouring down her face. “I was the one who pushed Alvin away. It’s my fault. I just wanted him to think before he acts, to be safe. That’s what I wanted. Not… for him to run off thinking all we did was hate him.” 

What have they done to their siblings? All this time they… they had made them feel so worthless that the last resort was to leave their families behind? They felt like monsters, which is why Simon spoke up again, his voice on the brink.

“I don’t think we can be together anymore.”

What. 

Jeanette’s mind spiraled, her heart sinking as everything felt like it was crashing down on her. 

“But… we—we still love each other, r-right?” She stuttered. “We do!” Simon immediately reassured. “But we can’t take care of ourselves right now. Love wasn’t enough to keep them from leaving us… what makes us think we can stop ourselves from shattering completely?” 

Jeanette swallowed her tears hard. “We’re drowning, Simon. We are.” 

The nerdy couple sat together in the corner of the library. 

“I still want to be close,” she whispered. “We spent so much time together. Did so many things together… I don’t want to lose what we had…” 

“I know,” Simon told her, reaching out for her hands and holding them. Jeanette grasped his in response. “We just, we just need to figure out what happens now. That’s it.” 

After a minute or two, Jeanette stood up first. “I need some air, Simon. I’m going to walk to the park.”

“I can walk you out.” 

She would’ve taken that offer gladly. They would’ve kissed on the way out of the library. That’s what they normally did. But this wasn’t the old times anymore. Their childhood was done, truly done in every sense of the word. So…

“No. That’s okay, I need some space.” 

“Alright,” Simon whispered. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah. See you later.”

With that, Jeanette went out through the same front doors she entered through. There was only one place on her mind: Woodsboro Community Park. Where Brittany spent a lot of her time at night just walking around, where Eleanor offered her muffins and all she got was spit and where Jeanette…

Get your fucking hands off me! 

I WON’T LET GO! 

The bespectacled brunette looked around, scanning her surroundings as much as she could. The sun was setting fast over the treeline. A playground nearby was completely empty, swings gently swaying with the summer breeze. 

She had to make sure nobody was here. Jeanette didn’t want anyone hearing what she was about to do. She breathed in… 

And let out a shrilled scream, erupting from deep within. This one tore her throat apart and shook the sky almost, cracking many times but still holding up. Jeanette screamed again and again, each time harder and more violent than the last… until she couldn’t anymore, and the bespectacled brunette’s voice immediately cut out. 

Miss Miller was dead. Didn’t exist anymore.

The Chipettes were disbanded. Their tight-knit love proved to be not enough for what happened. The bond they swore would never break no matter what? It shattered in the most devastating of ways. Their musical career, their hopes and dreams, gone with the wind.

Simon had just broken up with her, although she wasn’t sure she could blame him for that. 

And Brittany—oh god! She… she could be anywhere right about now. Maybe sleeping under a bridge, or renting a dirty hotel room, or—

Jeanette didn’t even want to think about it. But her and Eleanor’s sister left thinking they took everything from her. That she was the living embodiment of the Giving Tree.

Maybe… she was right about it this whole time. Staying in the park long after the moon rose, Jeanette couldn’t cry any longer. She watched the stars take reign of the skies for the time being… with a black hole as deep as oblivion within her.

When she eventually did decide to go home, it was almost one in the morning. As she approached Miss Miller’s house for the billionth time, Jeanette noticed the lights in the living room illuminated. Eleanor was still up, evidently so. Both sisters stayed up later than normal; it was hard to go to sleep. 

Jeanette knocked twice, her sister opening the door for her moments later. When Eleanor noticed how bloodshot her sister’s eyes were, she immediately pulled her in for a hug. It didn’t take long for her to notice that her brunette sister couldn’t speak… and it didn’t take long to figure out why. 

They sat on the couch later, with Softpaws curled up in her bed nearby. “Theodore was over,” the blonde said, her voice devoid of the upbeat, cheery tone she always had.. “We made a cherry pie earlier. Finished it all. Brittany used to ask us to watch how much we ate, but… doesn’t matter anymore.” 

Jeanette couldn’t even respond. Her voice was broken. The clock ticked, wind rustled outside. The lights of the kitchen and living room hummed. She simply shook her head.

Eleanor continued after getting silent permission from Jeanette. “Brittany would say that pies would make her too fat, like Violet Beauregarde. But you’d see a piece gone later.”

Jeanette grabbed a cup of water and came back, gently swallowing the liquid. She rasped for a few moments.

“I…I remember Britt always used to cut the crusts off.”

“But the crusts are the best part,” Eleanor responded. “I always made sure they were buttery and soft. Maybe too soft.” 

Neither of them giggled tonight. There was no space for that. No smiles. Nothing. The blonde girl cleared her throat. “I heard about Brittany’s old cheerleading squad. Missy Snootson, especially. And it’s not good.”

Jeanette blinked. “What is it?” She asked, part of her rightfully anxious that something was horribly wrong. 

“She’s in County Hospital on life support. Blind in both eyes. Both her ACLs are torn. They believe it was a mountain lion protecting its babies. Erika, Regina, Chris and Norma were with her. They’re all in critical condition. They…” Eleanor sighed, losing her voice with how devastating this was.

“They don’t think Missy’s gonna make it. They might take her off life support in the next several days.” 

Jeanette was speechless. She muttered under her breath and shook her head. They both knew how much she and Brittany fought since that Picture Day a decade ago. Missy and the other cheerleaders had also shut out Brittany after she tore her knee, and in addition with the news of their injuries, it’d had come out that Erika was behind the false tabloid.

The one that labeled their sister as a painkiller addict. Honestly… it was hard for them to have sympathy. But… could it be possible that… maybe, just maybe…

No. Brittany couldn’t have done something so horrible.

Could she have…?

“They hated each other, I swear,” Eleanor whispered. “Couldn’t go a week without seeing them argue in the hallways. Brittany didn’t act like it bothered her, but…”

She couldn’t even finish that. They both knew the truth. “Should we file a police report?” The blondie asked. “Brittany’s missing, right?” 

Jeanette didn’t respond immediately, but when she did, her voice cracked even further. “She left on her own. You know that, right? It’s not like she was kidnapped.” 

“It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do anything, Jeanette. We have no idea where she is.”

“Brittany knew what she was doing. She wouldn’t want to be found. If we filed a report, what would that do? Where on Earth would we even begin to search? Searching for her with the police would only—” 

“So what? Maybe it is for us! Maybe I want to know where my big sister, our sister, is! At least someone would pay enough attention to look for her!”

Jeanette stood up. “Then what? We show up to wherever she is expecting a big family reunion? She won’t forgive us, Ellie!”

“So that’s it, then?! We just give up?!?” Eleanor shot back, now yelling. After everything we went through together, we should just call it quits? To let Brittany disappear for good?!?”

“YES!” Jeanette yelled back, and immediately covered her mouth with both hands. “I—I didn’t mean it like that.”

Eleanor simply sunk further into the couch. Saying anything back would just tear them further apart. Of course she knew her sister didn’t mean it. This was sweet, gentle Jeanette. At least, she had been before Brittany’s collapse proved to be unlike anything the group’s ever dealt with. Two thirds of a whole are all that is left.

As the night progressed, both sisters found they couldn’t sleep easy, if at all.

Their argument just a little while earlier was just one of many embers simmering from the inferno Brittany left behind. But eventually, Jeanette had fallen asleep on the couch, and Eleanor on the other end. When they woke up just two hours later, it was nearly four in the morning. Didn’t matter much, and the youngest girl’s anger had left her like it did Brittany. All Eleanor felt was empty and helpless. 

She scooted closer to Jeanette, who had let out small cries in her sleep. They needed each other now more than ever. The remaining boys, too. 

“Do you remember…” Eleanor started quietly. Brokenly. “When we first came to Los Angeles that September, Jeanette? When Brittany demanded our record label give us a show downtown?”

The bespectacled brunette nodded. 

“She had us signed up for every show and tour since then. And the trip around the world in hot air balloons? Although it nearly killed all of us, Brittany protected us then, too.”

“I remember,” Jeanette whispered. 

“We had lives most orphans could never have. We escaped. Many didn’t. But… the more I think about it, the more I realize how much of a lie it was. The belief we escaped. Brittany didn’t. Do you remember… the night after Miss Miller died? How Brittany took up guardianship of us… while she was still hurting? How she’d never even…” 

Eleanor choked back a sob. “How she never got to mourn her the way we did. We misjudged her too hard, called her selfish and full of herself. We didn’t see how much she was suffering until it was too late. What kind of sisters were we to her?” 

She inhaled deeply and exhaled softly. 

“There was a riddle in seventh grade that Mrs. Crawford asked us,” the blonde continued, although barely able to. “It was, ‘What gets bigger the more you take away?’ Brittany thought it was stupid, but I… I think I know what the riddle means now.”

“A hole,” Jeanette answered, barely audible. “That’s what it is.”

There were no tears left for either of them. They cried all of them out. They just had to accept losing everything, didn’t they?

Just like Brittany had. 

Everything that had happened to them… every verbal lashing, every painful rejection of their love… every yell and scream… was part of a void.

A void that only grew larger the more the world took from her, a void which dragged Brittany further and further into the abyss, one which she could never escape from. In a way, this void has engulfed all six of them. 

These are the consequences of their choices, and this is one mistake, one final problem… that the Chipmunks and Chipettes with all their history, intellect, love, hope… might never be able to fix. 

It’s a hole that might never be closed.