Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

This chapter follows Travis/Travis POV:

"Today is a new day" Travis told himself as he sat up in bed once more, it was a saying he found himself relying on more recently as his father got more...intense recently. His head ached as he stood from his mattress and looked around his room like always, the plain room littered with religious memorabilia never changed but every single morning, Travis wished it did. He had a bit of trouble standing up finally because of his sore muscles but with the knowledge of what would happen if he was late again made him favor just the soreness instead.

After dragging himself to the bathroom and looking in the mirror he sighed at the large bruise on his face that just wouldn't go away after however many weeks it had been at this point, sure he could just keep up the lie saying that he got into a fight with that Sally Face kid but he also knew it was getting suspicious since nobody else saw these "fights". Plus, what about when Sal himself asks about the bruise? That little shit always asked about him no matter how rude he was, it was so confusing and frustrating, it made him feel a sort of way that he knew he couldn't say anything about in fear of his father.

It was around 7:45am by the time he came downstairs, his blonde hair combed back and usual purple sweater and blue shorts on. His father was already sitting at the table, he looked tired, which already put Travis on edge. He got himself some breakfast and said grace quietly with his dad before they started to eat. Thankfully, his dad didn't say anything before dropping Travis off at school, that wasn't unusual but it was certainly a bit annoying.

It only took a moment for him to find his only friend at the school, Phillip. While he looked a bit too much like Sal with his blue hair and piercings for his own liking, he also didn't straight up hate him because of their somewhat similar tastes so he could tolerate that. He sat down at the lunch table next to his "friend", placing his bag on the ground as he pulled out his AP class work, he didn't want to do AP classes but his father pushed him into it so he could look better in the community. Phillip took out his headphones and glanced at the work, he wanted to at least offer to help Travis but the moment he even thought about it Travis was already snapping at him.

"I don't need your fucking help, Phillip. I can do my own work I'm not dumb."

Phillip was a bit startled by his attitude but he couldn't say he wasn't expecting it, he was used to Travis being a dick unprompted.

"Jeez dude, calm the hell down, I wasn't even going to say anything about the work."

Travis just sighed and went back to his AP work, he couldn't make sense of half of it and could barely read the problems and options for answers without having a stroke. He didn't have time to think too hard about it however before the bell for first period rang.

He grumbled and shoved the work in his bag before dragging himself to English, passing Sal and his friends along the way. He watched Sals stupid friends and him fuck around by the lockers like usual which really pissed him off since they got in his way. He made extra sure to shoulder check Sal on his way into the room which of course pissed off his little girlfriend, Ashley.

"Hey! Don't be a dick, Travis!"

He turned around and glared at her, God he hated her stupid voice. He hated how close she always was to him, he hated how they always sat next to each other in class right in front of him. But he didn't know why he hated her, she wasn't a bad person, he just hated her. She seemed to notice his temporary pause as he stared at her but she just rolled her eyes as he walked away and into the classroom.

He finally let out a breath of relief as he sank into his chair at his desk, resting his head in his arms as he waited for his heart to stop beating so fast. He wasn't sure why it was doing that, all he had done was walked past Sal and his friends. He pushed it aside as class started finally, the teacher beginning by passing around the rubric for an upcoming group project, earning groans and sighs from the class. Travis already had his plan, wait until most groups had formed then ask to work alone, but his plan was ultimately foiled as the teacher announced she would be choosing groups at random. And just his luck, Travis got stuck with Sal Fisher.

While Sal didn't seem particularly upset by the group placement despite being unable to work with his best friend, Travis was seething. How come he got paired with this pigtailed, prosthetic masked freak?! He was sure he would have to do the whole project himself, so sure that when the teacher turned them away to begin working, he stayed firmly planted in his seat and began planning out the topic already. Sal cut him a bit of slack, sure Travis was an asshole but maybe he was just shy and working up the courage to speak to him. Though, as class went on Sal realized that Travis wasn't budging from his desk much to his annoyance, but a bit of amusement.

Travis was busying himself with his work when Sal suddenly appeared next to his desk, which of course startled him, but he didn't let it show, instead just staring daggers at Sal and cutting him off before he could speak.

"What do you want? I'm trying to work on the project, freak."

"Woah, chill out. We're supposed to work on this project together you know, I was just trying to help out."

Sal was already pissed with Travis' attitude, he could tell that that much by himself. But Travis knew Sal didn't have AP classes like him. The only reason Travis was in this regular English class anyway was to give himself a break, Sal was here because this was all he could do. He was sure Sal would just slow him down and make them fail, so he just scoffs at the comment and continues to plan out the project.

"Yeah right, you think I'm going to let you ruin our project? Just go away and let me work, fag."

Sal just backed off after that, he wasn't intimidated by Travis with his repetitive and weak insults, he just didn't want to deal with him. If Travis wanted to do the entire project himself, he would let him. Travis practically buried himself into his desk the second Sal left him alone, his heart beating quickly once again. He couldn't understand why this was happening to him, was Sal messing with him somehow? He didn't feel intimidated by him for sure, there was no way he could be scared of someone more than 6 inches shorter than him. He had no clue what was going on, so he did what he did best and shoved those feelings deep deep down inside him and focused on his work again.

Thankfully, class ended a little while later and Travis was able to go to the rest of his morning classes, AP Stats and AP World before it was finally lunch time. He got his lunch from the lunch lady and once again sat with Phillip at an almost empty table. The blue haired boy was quiet as he focused on eating his food but eventually spoke up when he noticed Travis almost staring at Sal and his friends from across the lunch room.

"You good, Trav? You're staring daggers at Larry and Sal."

Travis suddenly snapped out of his zoning out and looked at Phillip, partially annoyed by the others interest in what he was doing.

"I'm not staring, I'm trying to figure out what Sal's doing. Every time he walks by me or talks to me it's like my heart starts beating crazy fast or something. Maybe he has peanut butter stuck somewhere on him..."

Travis finished his sentence with a grumble as he continued to eat, not noticing how Phillip was staring at him. He knew Sal didn't have anything on him, he barely brought his bag to school. He knew what was happening. Travis had a crush on Sal.

Chapter Text

TW: SH+ABUSE

This chapter follows Travis/Travis’s POV

To say that Travis was tired by the end of the day would be a lie, he was beyond exhausted. He practically collapsed onto his bed the moment he made it to his room, but he knew he didn’t have any time to relax between all his chores and schoolwork, and he knew if he didn’t get them done before his dad came back he would be in some deep shit.

He sighed and got up from the bed, pushing himself up from his mattress as he grabbed his gloves and cleaner and headed for the bathroom. He didn’t want to rush his chores since he knew his father checked how good he did, but he also knew he had to do it quick so he could get to his schoolwork.

About two hours later he finally had sat down for his work, his chores having taken longer than usual since he found that his fathers clothes had, once again, been covered in excessive amounts of dirt and grime. But that didn’t matter anymore as he pulled out his notebooks and put on his headphones, loading his CD player and getting started. His father made sure that when he got the player for his birthday that he would only listen to “acceptable” music, only gospel and classical, but he found a way around that. He had stolen a CD from Sals locker a month or so ago, some metal band that he and Larry liked, and he had kept it hidden under his mattress ever since.

He shook his head when he realized he was thinking of Sal again, he didn’t know why the idiot was taking up so much of his brain space lately, he just knew that he had been, and he didn’t like it. He tried to tell himself that he was just thinking of the project and how much he hated him, but his realization from lunch made him think. He couldn’t like Sal, nobody could like that blue haired freak, especially not Travis. It wouldn’t be natural, two men don’t like each other like that, his father would kill him. He was sure he was just worked up over something else, that had to be it.

It was then that his father came home, he could hear the door slam from his room, and it startled him. He looked down at his paper and started scribbling some answers down before his father opened the door, not looking happy that Travis’s school work wasn’t done yet.

”Why have you been slacking off, how many times have I told you that your work needs to be done before I get home?”

Travis stood up and turned off his music, making sure his dad couldn’t catch a single note from whatever metal song was playing.

”I’m sorry father, we got a group project today and I’m stuck doing the whole project, it’s a long project and-“

”Don’t give me excuses. Just get it done.”

He then slammed his door shut, leaving Travis alone again to think about his words. He looked over at his work and sighed annoyedly, stupid group project, he didn’t even have the stupid materials for the poster, and it was a month long project! How did his dad expect him to get it done in a few hours?!

He took a deep breath to calm himself down and put the project in his bag to finish another day, tidying up his work on his desk before following his father down the steps for dinner.

Once he was downstairs he could already see his sisters, Madeline and Mary, cooking with his mom. They had opted to go to the private school his mom taught at instead of public school like him so he didn’t often see them except for at meals. But he didn’t mind, not seeing them often meant they weren’t exactly close, so he didn’t miss them all that much when he went a while without seeing them. As he sat down at the table across from his father he watched as his mom served them dinner before she sat herself. His father led the prayer before they ate, but it only took a second before he was already angry. He heard his father shove his bowl back at his mom and speak harshly.

”The rice is still as hard as a rock, can’t you cook? That’s all that you’re good for anyway, I would think you’d know how to do it right the first time.”

He watched as his mom apologized and took back the rice to continue cooking, watching as his father eyed her like a hawk the entire time. He hated the way he spoke but he never said anything to his dad about it, he knew if he did he would get beat, and he didn’t want to go through that again. At least it only took a few moments before his mother came back with the food again and they could start eating.

They ate in silence until Travis was mid-bite, that’s when his father spoke again for the first time since he had been in his room.

”Travis, why wasn’t your project done when I got home? Do you have a reasonable explanation for me or were you being lazy?”

He chews slowly to give himself time to think of how to respond, but when he notices his dads glare he quickly swallows his food and speaks.

”It’s a group project, sir, it’s not due for a month since it’s so large. I’m supposed to be doing it with a partner in class but I got paired with some blue haired fag and I doubt he’ll be helping out.”

His dad almost seems to pause when he hears that. Blue hair he thinks it can’t be him.

”Well, be sure that it gets done on time, I will not have you being late on work like some slacker.”

”Yes, father.”

Then once again, dinner was silent.

It was silent until his mother took their plates, and it was silent as he walked himself back up the stairs to the bathroom. He sighed a breath of relief as he closed the door behind himself, turning the shower water on and slumping back on the lid of the toilet. He wasn’t sure how much of this he could take, all the tension and stress that came from living with his dad and having to see how he treats his mom, it was driving him mad.

He didn’t have a single ounce of freedom, not even at school when he was with Phillip since he knew he had so many difficult classes. The only free time he got was when he walked home, he could take his time through the streets and watch the others walk, sometimes he had enough time to wander through the trees near his house between getting his chores done and his father coming home. And very rarely, when his father forgot to lock his windows, he could sneak off to the lake and just watch.

He realized he was zoning out and stood up, beginning to get undressed and taking off his dirty bandages to get in the shower. Stepping in, he felt the hot water sting his wounds and winced, covering them quickly with his hand. It was the only way he could relieve the stress from his life that his father caused, and thankfully they were covered by his usual purple sweater most days so his father could never see. Plus, he would never let anybody know he did that to himself, he wasn’t weak.

He spent a bit of time under the warm water, just standing there, thinking. Then he finished up, washing his hair and body before getting out and wrapping a towel around his waist. He reached for his clean clothes only to find he didn’t have any, which would mean he’d have to walk back to his room bare armed and risk getting caught. So he took a deep breath, reached for the door, and speed walked to his room.

Thankfully he didn’t get caught and was able to change easily, pulling his clean clothes over himself as he flopped down onto his bed. He laid there for a moment as he listened to his father close the door to his room, a sign he had to go to sleep as well. He hesitated for a moment but reached into his bedside table, pulling up the wooden bottom and taking out a small razor he had stolen from his dads bathroom one day. He stared at the metal shining in the moonlight before quickly dragging the blade across his skin, not stopping until beaded red was dripping down his arm and he couldn’t take it any longer.

He sighed and put the tool back, grabbing some gauze and bandages from the drawer and wrapping his arm until the blood no longer soaked through the white material. It was already stinging which made him instantly regret what he had done, but there was no going back, so he just pulled the blanket over himself, turning to his side and cradling his arm close. This was how most nights ended these days.

Maybe tomorrow will be a better day…

Chapter Text

This chapter follows Sal/Sals perspective

The bell rang as English class ended and Sal watched as Travis stuffed everything in his bag as quick as he could and ran off. He sighed and stood up to grab his bag, slightly annoyed that he hadn’t been able to work on the project with Travis but more so a little concerned by how Travis was acting. Sure he wasn’t the nicest guy, not by a long shot, but he was acting strange, even for him. He wandered off to his next classes before lunch then sat down with Larry and their friends, watch the rest of them sit down as well before they ate.

Sal didn’t much like the school lunch since he always thought something was a bit…off…about them, but he didn’t say anything so his friends didn’t think he was crazy, not that they didn’t already with everything going on in the apartments by now. The table was already buzzing with conversation between Todd and Ashley about his new crush, some boy named Neil, and the moment Sal sat down Larry immediately jumped on him about the English project.

“Dude, you know that project in English? It freaking sucks man! I don’t want to research some random dude I don’t know anything about! At least I got paired up with Ashley, who’d you get paired with?”

”Mmm, Travis.”

Larry practically spat out his lunch at those words, looking at Sal like he had just summoned a demon by uttering Travis’s name.

”Dude, Travis? That sucks man, I’m so sorry.”

”It’s not that bad, I don’t mind honestly.”

Larry once again looks at him like he’s insane, his jaw dropped as he just stares at Sal for a moment before regaining his composure.

”How could you say that man? The dude torments you like no tomorrow, I mean hell just last week he gave you one nasty bruise from shoving you into the wall.”

“I know, still hurts too. But like I said I don’t mind, Travis isn’t a bad guy, I think he just has a lot of pressure on him.”

At the sound of Travis’s name Todd seemed to perk up from his conversation with Ashley, wanting to weigh in the conversation as well.

”I agree on that part at least, y’know his dad runs that ministry on the hill. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was crazy or something, I’ve always had an odd feeling about that place.”

They all nod while continuing to eat, Sal unbuckling the bottom half of his mask so he could get at least a few bites of the pizza in before the bell rang to get back to class. It wasn’t long later that school ended, him and Larry said their goodbyes to Todd and Ash, one was staying to help the robotics team and the other to help tutor some of the kids from her math class.

Upon reaching the apartments where they lived Sal realized that his dad was out with Larry’s mom again, they had been hanging out quite a bit lately, and both Larry and him knew that they had been dating for a good bit. He didn’t exactly feel like hanging out alone in his apartment so he grabbed his cat, Gizmo, and headed down to Larry’s room like he usually did on days like this. Larry was being his usual self, getting absolutely high off his ass and painting while he and Sal spoke and listened to music together. It was calm for a bit, Sal calmly petting Gizmo while watching Larry work on the fine details of his most recent work before Larry spoke up.

”So, you really don’t mind Travis being your partner? I mean I know you said he’s like, under pressure and shit but, man I would be pissed if I were you.”

He had to think about his answer for a moment, sure it wasn’t like he was excited to have to work with him, but he always tried to see the best in people, even people like Travis, so he nodded.

”Yeah, I mean he is a dick don’t get me wrong but, I just feel like there’s more to him. There has to be something he’s hiding from everyone, even if it takes a while I’m going to find it.”

Larry chuckles and sets his paints down, turning around to face his friend.

”Man, Sally Face, you’re stubborn. I knew you were but still, after everything he’s done to you, I can’t believe you still want to try and get through to him.”

He just nodded, leaning his head back to where it would touch Larry’s mattress from where he was sitting on the floor. He could see his prosthetics staring at him from across the room where he had taken them off, but for the first time in a while he didn’t mind them being off. Larry had seen him enough times without it at this point, and he never minded when Sal took it off. He had even tried to get him to model for a painting at least once or twice, though he refused, only since he didn’t want to have to sit still for so long.

He didn’t know when he had fallen asleep but he awoke with the lights out and Larry asleep next to him on the floor, head on his shoulder and completely out. He sat and looked around for a bit before getting up, making sure Larry wouldn’t fall before leaving the room. It was clearly cold outside, but on nights like this Sal liked to grab his coat and take a walk for a while, so he did just that. He took his coat from the rack and went out Larry’s back door, wandering past the treehouse and around the building.

He walked and walked for who knows how long before he realized he was at the forest near the ministry, looking into the distance he could faintly see the lights in the house next to it, presumably Travis’s, turning out for the night. It was almost 10pm according to his phone so it was no wonder they had gone to bed. Sal sighed and sat at the next to the water, he had wondered even farther into the Wendigo Lake area it seemed, but he didn’t mind. He liked the quiet and peace of the area, he liked being able to just sit and think without any distractions.

While thinking he got to thinking about Todd’s earlier words, about how his father owned that ministry, and he sighed. He knew for a fact Travis wasn’t as tough as he seemed, but he couldn’t exactly blame him, his father was one of the most important people in town, no wonder he was stressing about having to fill his shoes one day. Besides it didn’t seem he had any friends really, only that Phillip kid that hung around him, and even then he didn’t exactly seem to favor Travis’s company. He only came out of that train of thought when he realized he had been out for far too long, he left the apartment around 9:30pm and now it was almost 3:00am, he really needed to stop doing that.

He sighed and stood up, not wanting to go back inside yet but knowing the walk would be long, he decided to stop at a gas station first. Going inside he grabbed what he could, an ICEE for him and Larry to share and some snacks he paid for with whatever cash he had in his pockets. Upon getting back to the apartments an hour or so later he snuck back into Larry’s too and nudged him awake. His friend didn’t seem too amused until he saw the drink and happily snatched it up before speaking.

”I take it you took another walk halfway into town?”

”Yeah, you should really come with me someday, the towns pretty peaceful at night, as hard as that is to believe.”

He chuckles and take a drink from the styrofoam cup, just watching how the room seems to settle, Gizmo was still asleep in Larry’s beanbag chair, and everything seemed peaceful besides the police sirens outside, a familiar sound that never seemed to go away.

As the both of them sat in a comfortable silence the door could be heard shifting a bit as Larry’s mom left to work, the sound of the mop bucket rolling down the hall stopping as she reached the elevator.

”You know, I’m supposed to be keeping this a secret but, my moms been thinking about marrying your dad for a bit.”

Sal seems surprised by that news but smiles from under his mask, not having taken it off since coming back from outside. It had been just him and his dad for a while, and he knew that his dad deserved to love again.

”That sounds pretty nice actually, it’ll be nice to have you as a brother. Plus, it’s been just the two of us for a while since my mom…well, it’ll be good to see him happy again.”

Larry smiled and punched him in the shoulder, speaking with a bit more of a smile.

”Yeah, same for my mom. Hey, maybe when they do get married we can make them something for a gift, like…a scrapbook! That could be fun, right?”

Sal chuckled and nodded, Larry was such an artsy dude, of course he would make a suggestion like that. But it wasn’t a bad one, plus he knew his dad would like that too.

”Yeah, sounds pretty good.”

He glanced over at the clock as they settled back into a comfortable quiet, eyes almost widening as he realized the time.

”Shit, we’re gonna be late to school.”

Larry perked up at that and laughed but moved quickly, changing his clothes while Sal quickly ran back to the elevator to get Gizmo home and feed him. They practically burst through the apartment buildings front door and ran to school together, just barely making it in time before the late bell rang. He sat down at his desk and looked ahead at Travis who sat diagonal to him, tilting his head at his behavior. He seemed off, exhausted almost, definitely pale. He figured he was just getting sick, but he still couldn’t help but stare curiously.

Once the teacher let them go to work on their partner projects Sal got up and headed to Travis, hoping maybe today would go a bit smoother between them, but the glare he got from Travis as he approached seemed to signal otherwise.

”What do you want, fag?”

”A good grade, Travis, we need to do this project together if we’re going to get an A, it’s a group project.”

When he got no response other than a growl, he looked down at the paper Travis had already started and skimmed through it with his eyes.

”At least you already started, seems like you got a bit of the general knowledge done. Were you able to do some actual research after school?”

”Im not a fucking nerd, freak, what do you think?”

Sal sighed at his aggressive tone, he was really trying here but he wasn’t making it easy for either of them. He was about to comeback at him when he noticed that Travis’s face seemed red.

”Are you feeling good, you’re more of a dick today than normal, plus you look red.”

He watched as his eyes widened before he stood up abruptly from his desk and left. He felt bad, it seemed he really wasn’t feeling well and probably left to puke or something, though that left Sal alone with the project. He grabbed the papers and took a good look at them it had a small title and their names on it at least, but it was clear he would have to really get started. He came up with a few questions to answer before the bell rang, packing his stuff before meeting up with Larry before class in the hall.

”Hey, Larry, I won’t be spending lunch with you guys today, I gotta get started on that project in the library.”

”What if me and Ash join you?”

Sal smiled at that, liking the idea of studying with his friends.

”Yeah, sounds good, man.”

Chapter Text

This chapter follows Travis/Travis’s POV

TW: MENTIONS OF SH

Travis cracked his eyes opened as the light from the sun poured into the room, waking him up as it his his eyelids and didn’t go away. He sat up and looked down at his arms where he had taken his anger out on himself the previous night, the bandages had gotten unraveled during the night, the bloody lines an angry red and stinging like hell. He groaned at the feeling but stood anyway, looking over at his clock and seeing it was only 5:23am. He didn’t have to get up for another 30 or so minutes but he was sure he couldn’t go back to bed at this rate.

He opened his bedside drawer and pulled out the bandages, wrapping his arm again and trying to get as much as he could out of this roll. His eyes narrowed as he realized that this roll was empty now, he didn’t have any extras which meant he would have to figure out how to get more soon. He pulled on his same shorts and sweater as he wore yesterday and went to the bathroom before he headed downstairs, not expecting to see his father already leaving for work this early.

”Travis, good, you’re up early. I have to prepare the church for a wedding today so I’m leaving early. You’ll have to walk to school today so I suggest leaving soon.”

With that he closed the front door, leaving Travis standing on the stairs with a white knuckle grip on the railing. There goes the extra time I thought I had this morning, he thought to himself. He grabbed a banana, not having time for an actual breakfast, and headed out of the house, not bothering to comb his messy hair down or anything at this rate, he was too pissed off.

He followed the road down the hill before turning to head towards the school, watching as some of the other kids he recognized from classes began appearing along the side of the road as well. Once getting to the school he stopped at the front door, sitting down on the bench and just watching as everyone else filed in the building. After a few moments he caught himself searching for the blue haired freak and his accomplice, they usually showed up around the time he did when he walked but they were nowhere to be found, just the other two.

He shook his head and stood to head inside himself, he didn’t know why he was even searching for those two, it wasn’t like he wanted to see them anyway; it was more a habit than anything he guessed. He wandered the halls for a while before reaching his locker, opening it to put his bag inside before heading to the schools bathroom, empty as usual since no one liked the smell of shit hitting their nose early in the morning. He looked at himself in the mirror and groaned at his messy hair, he wished at this point that he had just combed it back but it was too late at this point. He wet his hand in the sink and slicked it back as best he could before the bell rang.

As he sat at his desk he watched as Sal burst through the doorway mere seconds before the bell rang again, looking like he had just ran a marathon. He watched as he slumped into his chair but stared at him back, making Travis turn away. He knew he was probably looking at his hair, he hadn’t been able to get to the back before class started which probably left it looking dumb, making him grumble.

As the teacher spoke he grabbed his papers from his bag, taking a second glance at them he realized he had forgotten to get back to the work after his shower, all he had were his and Sals names plus the most basic information about their topic, which was trying to come up with their own interpretation of 1984, a book he couldn’t have cared less about. He hadn’t even noticed the teacher was done talking until he saw Sal approaching and immediately spat out a response to his approach.

”What do you want, fag?”

”A good grade, Travis, we need to do this project together if we’re going to get an A, it’s a group project.”

He growled at that response, he hated the way Sal always seemed to have comebacks to whatever he was saying, like he was planning it, like he could see into his mind. He hated the way he spoke so effortlessly, and he hated that he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Just then he saw Sal peaking at the papers on his desk and he could feel his face get warm with embarrassment, great, he thought, now he thinks I’m an idiot since I didn’t get it started.

”At least you already started, seems like you got a bit of the general knowledge done. Were you able to do some actual research after school?”

”Im not a fucking nerd, freak, what do you think?”

He heard Sal sigh and almost tensed, he could tell Sal was getting pissed off at him, not like he cared though. He just wanted to get this project over and done with so he could never talk to him again, but for some reason that thought made his stomach clench, as if he couldn’t stomach the thought of that, it almost made him feel sick.

”Are you feeling good, you’re more of a dick today than normal, plus you look red.”

He didn’t think Sal would notice but he did, and that made his eyes widen. Without a second thought he pushed himself up from his desk and practically ran out of the room. Getting to the hall he didn’t stop until he reached the bathroom again, and this time he locked the door behind him. He felt sick to his stomach, but the reason as to why was beyond him. He looked in the mirror, only then noticing how hard he had been breathing and the red dusting his cheeks. He shook his head and splashed some water on his face, trying to calm himself down while taking deep breaths.

He was getting freaked out, this kept happening every time he got near Sal, he was sure he was doing something to him, maybe he was manipulating him somehow? Or maybe Travis was just going crazy, that’s what he settled on as he calmed down, he was just going crazy and needed to sleep, it wasn’t like he got the best sleep last night anyway. He took a deep breath and headed to the nurses office, she knew him well by now and allowed him to lay down for a while to clear his mind.

He stayed there until the bell rang and begrudgingly grabbed his bag, heading off to science and sitting in his usual seat next to Phillip. He seemed to notice how anxious Travis was since he spoke up with an almost concerned tone in his voice.

”You good, man?”

Travis glared at him but spoke anyway, his head on top of his arms as he rested them on his desk.

”No, I’m not. I got paired with that Sally Face freak for a project and now I feel like I’m going crazy. Every time I’m around him my heart feels like it’s beating out of my chest, it’s like I’m allergic to him or something.”

”You know what that sounds like to me, Trav? Sounds like you got a crush on him.”

The thought of that made him physically recoil, a look of disgust on his face, he wasn’t gay. That was wrong and unnatural, plus even if he was he would never go for Sal of all people. But that was just the thing, what he was feeling was unnatural and he knew it, and that made him scared. His dad would kill him if he ever thought he was gay, so no, he wasn’t.

”Tch, ew, no.”

Phillip shrugged and pulled out his notebook as the teacher walked in, Travis just stayed resting his head against the desk. Once lunch finally rolled around he figured it would be best to check out that book for the assignment, so he headed to the library. He found the right shelf and looked for the boom before he heard a familiar voice, glancing over the shelf to see none other than Sal and his friends.

He swore under his breath and ducked behind the shelf, growling softly at the fact that he just had to run into them here, just his luck. His plan was to just grab the book and run, but that was intercepted when he turned the corner and bumped into Larry, how the hell did he even get there so fast??

”Hey, what’s the deal Travis?”

His tone was annoyed at just the sight of the blonde, and he almost seemed to step in front of Sal like some sort of bodyguard.

”Trust me, Johnson, I wouldn’t touch you flamers with a 10 foot pole on purpose.”

”Calm down, both of you.”

At the sound of his partner—project partner that is—speaking up, he frowned even deeper.

”You’re trying to tell me what to do, freak? Tell your stupid friend to calm the hell down.”

Sal stepped forward and placed his hand on his shoulder to seemingly try and reason with Travis but that only enraged him more, his emotions were all over the place right now, and it was confusing him.

”Travis, cmon, he didn’t-“

He didn’t want to be spoken to like an idiot, and he didn’t want Sal to touch his shoulder like that, so he shoved Sal back into the corner of the bookshelf, causing the bottom half of his mask to unbuckle.

”Shut up! I don’t have to listen to a freak like you!”

Larry grabbed his shoulder but he shrugged him off, storming out of the library with an angry step. He could hear the two of them behind him but he tuned him out.

”Try that again, Travis, I’ll punch your stupid face in!”

”Larry…”

He almost wanted to see Larry try that, but on the other hand he knew how the man could get when he was angry, I mean he knew he had been in juvie before, that had to mean something at least. He couldn’t focus on that though, he could only think about how Sal spoke to him, his voice was so…so nice, and it only made him more frustrated and confused. Why was he being so nice when he was such a jerk? Was he just trying to push his buttons, or was he actually just that dumb and willing to get himself hurt by continuously talking to him? It didn’t matter to him either way, it pissed him off just the same.

But he couldn’t deny the way his face got red once again as he left the library.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

This chapter follows Travis/Travis’s POV

TW: HARSH ABUSE+SH+SUICIDAL IDEATION

It was barely 5am when Travis was startled awake by his father banging on his door, jolting him awake immediately into a fight or flight response. He pulled his blanket around his body, mostly just to cover his forearms, and opened the door.

”Yes, father?”

He could feel his father intense stare burning straight through his skull as he looked at him in the doorway, the look backing a chill run down his back as his father spoke in his usual booming voice.

”I do not care if it’s the weekend, you need to wake up at a normal time and not be lazy. I expect you to be awake and working on school work in the next 10 minutes.”

He didn’t say anything else but Travis could see the way his fist clenched, almost itching to reach for his belt buckle, a sight that made him nod quickly and back away from the door to change and get to work. He got out his book to begin reading and was able to get maybe 15 pages in before his father came back to see him. He assumed his dad would leave him alone after seeing that he was working, but instead his dad seemed to get pissed off.

”What the hell is this? I told you to get started on your work, not sit here and read like you have all the time in the damn world.”

He set his book down as he began to speak, standing as his fathers tone got angrier with him.

”I told you what you need to be doing and you blatantly ignored me! Are you fucking stupid? I told you to do your work!”

”Father, this is my work. I have to-“

He was cut off by a stinging sensation in his face, his head snapping to the side as his father slapped him hard in the head for talking back. He should’ve expected that by now, he knew he should’ve, but he wasn’t paying attention to his words, he never did.

”Do not ever talk back to me, boy! I am your father, you do not get to question me! I told you to do your work, the work that matters, not the kind that makes you question who you’re speaking to like some delinquent. You talk back to me like that again today and I’ll ship you off to military school, do I make myself clear, Travis?”

He was speechless for a second, his head still reeling from the shock, but he nodded after a moment and spoke quietly.

”Yes, father, I’m sorry.”

”Good. I didn’t raise an idiot, get to work properly.”

With that, he heard his father slam the door loudly, causing him to flinch and stand there for a minute in shock. After a few moments he forced himself to move and raise his hand to his face, touching to see the damage. His cheek hurt like hell, and when he pulled his shaky hand away he could see some blood on his fingers, a sign that his nose had started to bleed. He let out a shaky sigh but made no move to clean it up, instead just sitting back at his desk and pulling out his math homework. He didn’t care that he was dripping blood onto the work, he was just too terrified to leave the room, he didn’t want to get his father even more mad, he knew how that ended.

Even once his work was finished he just sat at his desk in an almost shocked silence, his father was likely lurking not too far away at the end of the hall or downstairs, so he knew better than to get up from the desk. Instead he reached into his bag for his next work when he found an envelope in there, it was marked with Sals name. He was confused for a moment before remembering he had stuffed it in his bag before the end of math, just the thought of him made his face go red. Pulling out the envelope, Travis tried to find and address or anything to signal who it was by, but found nothing. Curious, he opened the envelope up quietly, but to his disappointment there was nothing inside.

Just then he heard heavy footsteps outside, panicked, he shoved the envelope back into his bag and grabbed his already finished work, pretending to work on it as his father opened the door. He seemed more pleased to find him working on something that mattered in his eyes, but his voice was no kinder as he spoke.

”Good, you know how to listen for once, Travis. Your mother made lunch, clean yourself up and come eat.”

He nodded and acted like he was finishing up before he stood, heading to the bathroom and looking in the mirror. He winced upon looking in the mirror, seeing how bloody his face was. He wiped it away with a moist towel before heading downstairs, sitting in his usual spot at the table as his mother served everyone some soup, a safe meal he knew she made when things were already rough and she didn’t want to risk it. They ate in silence, and unlike dinner from a few nights ago, it stayed silent the entire time. Once he finished his food, Travis went back to his room, taking that envelope out of his bag again.

He held it in his hands for a while, just looking at it, at Sals name on the front. He could feel his heart beating quickly again just from reading the other boys name. He tried to ignore the feeling but it wouldn’t go away even now, it angered him, it’s like Sal was taunting him even while he wasn’t here.

He got up to pace around his room, running his hands through his hair in annoyance as he tried to figure out why he couldn’t stop thinking of him, why he couldn’t stop thinking of his stupid friends, his stupid blue hair, his prosthetic, his hand which had so gently touched his shoulder yesterday even though he was being an ass. He tried to shake off the feeling but it was useless, all he could think of was Sal and the way his stomach tingled and his face got warm when he appeared.

He spent tge rest of his day doing chores, sweeping thr house and the church, dusting, yard work as well. He had to mow the lawn around the church, and while he was starting to work up quite the sweat from being outside, working, and wearing his sweater, he knew he couldn’t take it off, the threat of military camp looming over his mind like a storm cloud. As he finished up the mowing he looked into the distance, seeing what looked like a flicker of blue hair and curly red hiding behind a tree.

”What the…”

He muttered, almost moving to check out who had been spying on him, but at that moment he remembered his fathers words again and quickly shook his head, heading back inside instead of straying away.

While going about his indoor chores he couldn’t help but feel like something was off, like today had gone by too fast, too easy, but he tried to ignore it, it wasn’t a new feeling to be uncomfortable in his own house. Dinner went by without any issues surprisingly enough, and Travis almost went to shower feeling like today was was a pretty decent day, that was until he heard his sisters speaking. He stopped outside their door to listen in when he heard their voices, a habit he had picked up when he was younger. From what he could tell, Madeleine was talking about a boy she liked.

”I know he’s not fathers first choice, Mary, but I really like him! He always sits next to me during Bible study at the church and just the other day he gave me his spare water bottle when I didn’t bring mine. My stomach flutters whenever I think about him, and whenever we talk I can just feel my face going red!”

Travis couldn’t hear anything after that, not over the ringing in his ears and the way his stomach had dropped. Red face, stomach fluttering, that’s exactly how he felt when he talked to Sal.

Phillip had been right. He was gay.

He stumbled to the bathroom, his body on autopilot as he turned the shower on and closed the door before his back hit the wall and he sank to the ground. As he reached the floor he began to cry and hyperventilate, no no no no, this can’t be happening, he thought to himself, I’m not a queer, I’m NOT, I’m not a sinner. But no matter how many times he told himself that the same thoughts kept running through his mind, his hair, his hands, his voice, and now his father. If his father found out he was gay he would kill him, he couldn’t let him know, he had to fix himself.

He showered as slow as he could, washing his body over and over as if he could scrub away his feelings until the water ran cold. By the time he got out of the shower he knew his dad was asleep so he went to his room. He sat on the floor beside his bed and prayed, over and over, Hail Mary after Hail Mary after Glory Be, he went until his knees were numb from kneeling against the wooden floors and he could barely stand. He then sat on his bed and reached into his drawer, pulling the razor back out and making the sharp metal drag across him arm, deep this time too. He planned on doing that until the feelings left his body, but the slashes were deep and he felt too exhausted to continue after 10 or so.

He woke up only a few hours later, forearm aching to shit and dried blood staining the floor below him. He pushed himself up with his left arm and looked around him room, making sure nothing was out of place before looking back at his arm. He wasn’t bleeding anymore but he definitely didn’t feel good, his entire arm stung so he reached into the drawer again to find his bandages. That’s when he remembered he had finished them all on Thursday, leaving him without anything to cover them up with. He looked at the time and saw it was 4:30am, church didn’t start until 7am but he knew that he could easily brush him getting ready early off as being devoted.

He got himself up and threw on a long sleeve white shirt and his best dress shoes before heading out to the church. He could easily leave the house early on Sunday's without his father getting angry since he was an acolyte and had to get there early to be changed anyway. Upon reaching the church he went in through the back and just sat in the bathroom for a while, at first to clean his arm of any dried blood but then to gather his thoughts. He knew he had to try his best today to pray away any of his sinful thoughts, he knew he had to try his best to fix his mind before his father found out.

He was lost in thought when he heard the back door open again, likely his father coming in to get the church ready before service. With that he dried his arm and pulled his sleeve back down before leaving the bathroom. He walked past his father and into the dressing room where he put on his cassock, followed by the necklace with a purple symbol on it that his father made all the acolytes wear. It wasn’t long before the others showed up and the service began. He sat behind the organ the whole time, only half listening to what his father was saying and trying his best to stay focused. When the church went silent for prayer he leaned forward and prayed hard, praying to be healed, to be fixed and for his sinful thoughts to leave him. Though, it seemed fate had other plans, since looking into the pews only a moment later he could see the familiar faces of Todd and Sal in the crowd.

He left church the moment it was over, ripping his clothes off and heading back home, not before stealing the first aid kit from the bathroom first. He was on edge the rest of the day, he zoned out for hours and didn’t come back to until he was asked to set the table by his father. While attempting to do so he accidentally dropped a bowl, while he didn’t break it he could tell that his father was pissed.

”I didn’t raise an idiot, Travis, set the table like you have two working hands.”

”I’m doing my best.”

Right as the words left his mouth his entire body stiffened up, he had spoken without thinking once again, though this time he had disrespected his father. He was only able to place the dishes down on the table before he felt his father shove him into the wall, his hands rough and his head hitting the wall while he spoke.

”What did I tell you? You never disrespect me like that again, I am your father, you do not get to speak to me that way!”

He raised his hand to slap the boy but when Travis raised his arms to try and block it, his anger only hit its peak. While he would’ve already been angry at Travis for trying to defend himself, his sleeve had also rolled down, showing his father what he had done. He grabbed his arm in a bruising grip and screamed at him, clearly unable to hold back his anger.

”Are you fucking with me?! Are you stupid?! How dare you harm your body like this, it’s like you’re trying to get me angry! Well good job, Travis, you’ve really done it now.”

His heard the unmistakable sound of his father taking his belt off before he felt the strikes, the metal of the buckle hitting him repeatedly and splitting his lip. He then felt his father drag him to his room and throw him on onto the floor, leaving him bleeding and crying on the ground as he locked it. As the sun set outside and Travis lay on the ground, he couldn’t help but realize that maybe letting his father kill him wouldn’t be such a bad thing, that maybe he deserved it for being such a sinful person.

Maybe I should just do it myself, he thought, that would end all this, the never ending pain, the beatings, my sin…

Thats all he thought of as he lay there, his last thought of the night after he had come up with a plan being,

Yeah, that sounds like a good idea…

Chapter Text

This chapter follows Sal/Sals POV

Sal had been up for days investigating the red eyed demon at the school, he, Todd, and Larry had even set up a red string investigation board to connect everything. Though throughout everything Sal barely slept, he had thrown himself into the investigations to help his friends and family, and he wasn’t stopping now. It was early Monday morning, around 5am when he heard a knock on the door. When he didn’t answer the person on the other side, which was Larry, let himself in and sat next to Sal, watching as the younger one stared at the board. After some time he spoke up, his voice laced with worry for his brother and how he had been acting lately.

”Hey, Sal, maybe it’s time for a break? You’ve been up for over two days trying to investigate this thing, maybe you should just take a breather. It’s almost time for school, just take the day off and get some sleep.”

Sal shook his head, he couldn’t stop now when he was so sure he was onto something.

”I can’t stop, Larry, don’t you see? Something is going on with Travis and the demon. The demon had the pamphlet, and when me and Todd went to the church yesterday Travis was wearing a necklace that had the same symbol as the demon. I’m close to something I can feel it.”

”Yeah, close to a breakdown. I’m not saying you’re crazy but you’re sleep deprived, just give it a rest-“

”No!”

Sal yelled back at him, which caused Larry’s eyes to widen. He rarely ever yelled, let alone at him, and it concerned him even more. Upon realizing what he did, Sal rubbed his eyes and put on his mask, standing up unsteadily.

”Sorry I just, I’m close to something. I need to ask Travis what this is about, then I’ll come back home and sleep, I can’t just let them get away with this. I have a feeling it’s the church as a whole, not just Travis.”

His brain ran on autopilot as he grabbed his bag and left, leaving him feeling confused when he snapped back into it at school. He tried to blink away his exhaustion but he couldn’t deny how tired he was, so it wasn’t a surprise when Todd and Ash immediately noticed.

”Sal, have you been getting enough sleep? Don’t tell me you were up all last night with your investigations again. Trust me, I like hunting ghosts and spying on Travis as much as you do, but you really need to get some proper sleep.”

He heard Todd’s concerned ramblings as he grabbed his books but barely registered any of it, his last remaining brain power being spent on trying not to face plant and figuring out what to ask Travis. When the first period bell rang he was quick to head to English, expecting to find Travis at his desk until he walked in and saw that it was empty. He sat down at his own desk confused, Travis never missed a day of school, not even when he broke his arm a couple months ago, he just walked in the next morning like nothing happened. With no way to interrogate the blonde he sat at his desk and tried to do some of his own research for the project, though unable to get more than a few words down before his hand seemed to slip out of his control and just scribble.

It wasn’t until the next bell rang that he perked up, realizing that he hadn’t gotten anything down all class and had just been dozing off. He made a pit stop at his locker for a book when he swore he saw a familiar purple sweater pass by him, Travis was here, but he had avoided 1st period. The thought made Sal even more suspicious, why the hell would he be avoiding him if he wasn’t guilty? It made no sense. He thought about it all day until lunch when he walked in and sat down with Larry and Todd, body shaking with exhaustion, which of course only made the other two more worried. Larry noticed where he was staring, Travis, and decided to ask if he had gotten anything from him.

”So…you get an answers from Travis?”

”No! That suspicious rat was avoiding first period, what the hell! It’s like he knows I was spying on him…”

Looking up, Todd watched Travis for a moment, watching as the boy ate his food in silence and didn’t even spare a glance at the group. He shook his head, he knew Sal was tired, and he was done watching his sleep deprived friend suffer all for some silly investigation. With a sigh he stood up and grabbed Sal by the arm, hauling his friend up while Larry followed his actions.

”Sal, stop. You’re not making any sense, you’re tired, you’re out of it, and you’re going home. I’m taking you to the nurse and she’s going to call your dad, and you’re taking the rest of the day off.”

Sal didn’t have the energy to argue as his friends dragged him away, making it to the nurse with minimal fighting as they sat by his side and waited until his dad came to get him. Sal didn’t even realize he had fallen asleep until he was awoken by Todd shaking him and notifying him that his dad had shown up. While he wasn’t exactly pleased to have to leave work early, he saw the look in Sals eyes and sighed, taking him home without an argument, Larry as well. Sal was still barely processing half of what was going on when Larry handed him a glass of water and some meds, likely his own sleeping medication to help him finally fall asleep, which didn’t take long once Gizmo curled up with him on the couch.

He awoke around 5pm to the sound of Larry playing some video games not too far away, having stayed to keep an eye on him, clearly. Sal sat up with a yawn and thought for a moment, he didn’t want to come out of his much needed sleep and immediately start talking about Travis and what he found again, but he knew he was onto something, as long as he didn’t start rambling again.

”Larry…something’s off about Travis.

Larry turned back to him with an unamused look, clearly not happy to hear those words as the first thing he said when waking up, but he didn’t interrupt him.

”I mean it, Lar. He avoided me all first and third period, and he didn’t even glance at me in the hallway. It’s not like him to do that, somethings wrong. Not just a little wrong, I mean somethings wrong.”

Larry seemed to pause at that, as if Sals words had finally caught his attention. He paused his game and turned around, taking in his serious expression behind his prosthetic and sighing with a nod.

”I know, he’s been acting off. But what’re we supposed to do about it? It’s not like we can help him, he would kill us if we even tried.”

Sal sighed but couldn’t help but agree, he knew how secretive Travis was but he still wanted to him him out.

”Maybe something’s happening at home, maybe he’s sick or something. He didn’t look too good yesterday at the church either, he looked pale.”

”Well, maybe we can ask him about it tomorrow, after you’ve straightened yourself out.”

Sal nods and stands up with a stretch, going to the kitchen to heat up some leftovers from the night before. Larry leaned on the wall behind him and spoke up after a moment, a smirk clearly showing in his voice.

”You know, if it wasn’t for the investigation going on with the demon and everything I would almost think you had a crush on him. You’re always staring at him and studying him, it’s almost romantic.

Sal laughs but can’t help but notice the way his heart flickers at that thought. To be fair, Travis wasn’t the worst looking boy in the school…but he snapped out of that when the microwave beeped, turning back to Larry.

”Sureee, don’t think I can’t say the same about you and Ash.”

Larry was quick to defend himself from Sals teasing, even if the other just kept denying and being annoying about it. As they ate though, he still couldn’t help thinking about Travis, he was worried, what was happening that made him look so sick? It wasn’t until late into the night that he glanced at the time, letting out a groan when he saw it was almost midnight. He wanted to stay up with Larry and play games or annoy him some more, but he couldn’t, he had been studying recently for something and he didn’t want that to all go to waste.

”Larry, remember, we have that math test tomorrow, we can’t stay up all night again.”

”I know, I just know I’m going to fail it dude.”

He laughs at that but get comfortable on the couch, turning out the lights before taking off his mask and drifting to sleep. He couldn’t help but think of Travis again though, his thoughts from earlier and Larry’s comment popping back up in his mind. Sure, he was a dick, but he couldn’t be pretty decent when he wanted to be. As Sal drifted off, he couldn’t deny the flutter in his chest when thinking about the blonde, and he certainly couldn’t deny that Travis was the last thought running through his mind as his eyes shut.