Work Text:
Dazai stared out into the office, thinking about nothing. Ranpo was sitting diagonally to him, eating snacks. Atsushi was off on a mission with Akutagawa and won’t return until tomorrow. “Dazai! Are you paying attention?!”
The brunette cringed at the attention as the room turned to look at the detective, but he simply painted a sly smirk onto his face. “Sorry Kunikida, but I was busy thinking about if the waiter downstairs would enjoy hanging or-“ Fukazawa coughed, and Ranpo squinted at the pretend detective who simply shrugged at the non-ability user. Kunikida had moved to beside Dazai, practically red and blood vessel ready to pop.
The sound echoed in the small room. Dazai pretended that he didn’t flinch before the frankly weak slap hit him. Dazai glanced to his coworkers and saw most of them looking away or looking tired of… him. Dazai didn’t let his mask falter. “-of the most dangerous executive resurfacing, and your not paying attention??!” Dazai felt his eyes widen for a second, they were talking about him? Dazai waved his hand dismissively, “Kunikida, you shouldn’t worry, Ranpo can find out everything about him and then you can handcuff him to the police station door.” Ranpo huffed and looked down and Kunikida was pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Ranpo cant deduce anything because all we’re hearing is rumors from inside the mafia?” Dazai would be upset for being hit for something only theorized to happen if; One, the slap actually hurt or, Two, the fact that he had been in fact walking around the mafia building as the ‘demon prodigy’ recently. Dazai sighed, “What’s the plan then?” Kunikida looked away, “We don’t have one.” Dazai looked around the table to see the whole agency staring at him expectantly, okay, you have to make a plan to help catch yourself.
Dazai looked at the table before looking up, “What about that girl that came to the agency, Higuchi? We could ask her if the rumors have any truth and Ranpo can act as a living lie detector.” Ranpo stared at Dazai, trying to get behind the other’s perfectly crafted mask, and Dazai fought off a smile when the genius sighed. Kunikida glared at him, “Fine. I’ll look into it.” The blonde stormed out, leaving the rest of the agency alone.
Fukazawa cleared his throat, “I apologize for his actions Dazai, he’s been tasked with this specific exec since he applied here, he.. is not himself when it comes to this man.” Dazai couldn’t stop the shock from falling over his face this time, a crack in the mask that he immediately repaired. “I understand.” Ranpo looked at him again, glaring at his cheek, “You should get back to the dorms to get that looked at.” Dazai nodded, bowing to Fukazawa before leaving.
He felt himself step back from reality, passively waving to Kunikida as he walked away, the man’s words didn’t reach him, and not due to the door being closed behind him. He smiled at Lucy and the other waitresses on staff as he walked down the street, before finally letting himself grab his jacket into a tight hug around himself as he walked at a normal speed down the road. He couldn’t tell himself how long the walk was, all he knew that he was in front of his dorm, key in hand.
Dazai opened the door and scrunched his nose at the smell, a couple whiskey bottles were scattered on the ground. A cabinet was opened and stuffed with canned crab, the tins also breaching into the counter space, a neglected stove and microwave sitting with dust outlining their shape. Home sweet home. He dropped onto the couch, letting his trench coat bundle underneath him and wiggled until it was fully off his body. He stared across the room for an amount of time Dazai couldn’t track despite the clock in the room, might’ve been an hour or maybe only five minutes. But eventually Dazai grew tired.
He stared off to his neglected futon still on the floor, partly to piss off Kunikida, partly because it was too much work to move it every day. He stared at the coat rack and sighed, walking into his closet and half heartedly changing. He dropped his vest onto the ground and pulled on his black under jacket, his throat seized slightly when thinking about putting on a tie so he neglected it. He pulled out a black trench coat, his old one was in fact burned, this one was due to an old client meeting he was assigned during his early years at the agency, back when he didn’t have a partner and just worked mostly by himself. He sighed thinking about those times, they were nice. He ran his fingers through his hair, letting it do whatever it wanted, he blew back the brown curls that invaded his vision though.
Dazai left his keys in his room, the door lock being jammed anyways. He got up with little fanfare and left the dorm. He let his posture relax into a slight curl while letting his smile drop, smirking when someone practically ran after he passed them. It took a short amount of time to reach the port, but he hummed anyways, an almost comical jolly tune accompanying him as he walked to his former place of work.
Dazai stared up at the large monolith and shook his head fondly. He didn’t even give the guard a passing glance, or even identification, but the door still opened and shut behind him nonetheless . He waved to a couple grunts, who bowed slightly in return, he sent finger guns to Higuchi though. Who chose to bury her head in her hands, so he chose to torment her today. He really wasn’t supposed to be there, but he never really was a stickler for the rules anyway. He sidled up to the blonde woman who was muttering complaints under her breath. “How’s my favorite blonde?” Higuchi looked up and stared at his cheek for a second before sighing. “Hello boss, I have been tasked in checking on Shin Soukoku hourly due to me being Akutagawa-sans assistant.” Dazai nodded, smiling at the poorly hidden jab at him creating her more work. “Higuchi-San, I’m not your boss. I’m retired! I’m just checking up on my old stomping ground.” Higuchi sighed muttering , “Sure you are, boss.” Dazai laughed when Higuchi paled. He started talking to her to try to rule her up, but upon noticing that she had impeccable sarcasm, (after she had a bit too many drinks), he made it his goal to help her share her gift to the world.
“Well I have to go, see no evil speak no evil and all that,” Higuchi nodded, “Tell Akutagawa I say Hi!” He cackled as the woman’s accompanying sigh could be heard from the other side of the building. He left through the back entrance, taking the back roads to Koyo’s estate. He felt the odd sense of being watched but simply shrugged letting a hand rest on his gun, the metal shining in the dark alleyway. He smiled when he spotted the familiar closed in estate. He slapped his hand on the password panel and as it lit up Dazai grinned. Only a few people were allowed into the estate sans password, and Dazai and Kyouka were the only non-mafia members allowed into the estate at all other than for special and specific circumstances.
He practically skipped through the halls, pretending that the stint outside didn’t bother him so much that his mask fell back on. He waved to the girls around the estate, who all hesitantly did the same, also glancing at his cheek. Dazai finally made it to his destination. The executive’s sitting room. He flopped onto one of the couches and sighed. Despite his utter love for the agency Dazai appreciated a nice minute on a designer couch. He had many memories in this room, specifically annoying Chuuya in his own home while Mori tried to keep the conversation on topic. He let his eyes droop, feeling more at peace than he’d felt all day.
He heard a door open, and due to the almost soundless steps and varying pressure to the ground he knew it was Koyo. He raised a hand to wave in the general direction to his fellow executive, not bothering himself to open his eyes. “Dazai.” He sighed, sitting up on the couch and turning to the woman, he was caught of guard at her expression. She looked as apprehensive as normal, but her eyes shone with sadness, annoyance and slight guilt. He smirked at her, ignoring the way her eyes shone with care, “How’s my favorite female exec doing?” He was vaguely surprised when the woman took a hesitant step towards him, like one would do to attempt to get close to an alley cat. He narrowed his eyes at her, raising a quizzical eyebrow. “You didn’t encounter any mafia members today.” Dazai stared at her for a second before remembering that, yeah, he had gotten slapped kinda hard today. He waved her off, “I got assigned a case with a couple goons and couldn’t shoot them, that’s it.” She looked at him with thinly veiled concern, but she clearly couldn’t tell if he was lying.
He smiled, proud of his deception. But stopped when he saw the way Koyo’s face lit up with a combination of revenge and mischief. “Chuuya! Can you come here for a second.” Dazai scrambled out of the seat, preparing to book it out of the room when the very door he was running to for his daring escape was opened. Dazai made eye contact with the shorter male and saw the very second the fact he had been slapped register with the older (but shorter) man. One second his former partner was examining him, the next he was being dragged by the arm to the couch, a fuming Chuuya in front of him. Koyo stepped back and sat in a lounge chair behind her.
Chuuya shoved him to sit on the couch so they were at the same height. The man barely hesitated before brushing his hand against the detective’s cheek. “You bastard. Who did this to you? Which detective.” He vaguely recognized Koyo stiffening in her chair while robotically grabbing a teacup. He looked away, Chuuya’s cool gloved hand on his cheek revealing that it was in fact stinging. “It’s not a big deal, I didn’t even realize it happened. Chuuya glared at him as he stepped back, snapping to summon one of the girls. “You may think that it doesn’t matter but you did realize it happened.” Dazai seethed, glaring at the ginger. “You’re just jealous.” Chuuya simply crossed his arms, not breaking eye contact, “Ranpo or Kunikida?” Dazai rolled his eyes, leaning on the arm rest, “So you are jealous.” Chuuya seemed to get angrier. “Kunikida.” He spat. Dazai glared at him, “Chuuya, it doesn’t matter.” His former partner just turned to him with murder in his eyes. “I’ve been in the queue to beat you up for years he doesn’t get to jump that.”
Dazai sighed, “The stickler just was assigned an imposible case that only I could help with, you’ve done the same.” Chuuya scrutinized him, barely registering the girl walking up to Koyo behind them. “A crime that you committed or?” Dazai sighed, hating the way Chuuya could read through all of his masks after only a month of re-meeting. “He was assigned to investigate the rumors of the famous Demon Prodigy’s return and apparently each detective has a high ranked mafioso assigned to them.” Chuuya raised an eyebrow at him, but the fire in his eyes seemed to get to a regular level. “His was you, and your is?” Dazai smirked, the fact making him a slight gleeful, “The mad dog of the mafia, but Atsushi now has him so I’m out of the tradition.” Chuuya sighed before turning and watching the girl re-enter, this time with disinfectant and bandages. “Thank you Aoi, sorry for forcing you into this fishes presence.”
The girl glanced at Dazai before quickly nodding, bowing and leaving. Chuuya sighed before kneeling in front of Dazai, leaving him a foot shorter than the sitting Dazai. The man in question smirked, “Wow, on your knees in front of me? How forward.” Chuuya glared at him, hitting him with a washcloth and glaring at him. “Next time you’re cleaning yourself asshole.” Dazai rolled his eyes, pretending he didn’t wince when the antiseptic was pressed against his cheek. “I didn’t realize he was wearing a ring, I should give him my congratulations.” Chuuya sighed, “I should give him condolences for dealing with you for so long.” Dazai hummed half-heartedly, “You think he would appreciate flowers or chocolates more?” Chuuya sighed, “I don’t know. Ask your agency friends. Though after this stunt he may not make it to his wedding.” Dazai gasped dramatically, “Oh my god! Does the Chibi care about me?!” Chuuya sighed, clearly trying to not attack his former partner.
“No, just I need to make sure you’re alive so that I don’t die from Curroption.” The room grew tense, the reminder of the god thrumming underneath the Ginger’s skin too serious to ignore. Dazai brushed his own hand across his former partner’s cheek, causing him to make eye contact. “That won’t happen.” Koyo coughed behind them, “As enlightening this is, Mori is going to come in thirty minutes for an executive meeting so you need to leave soon.” Dazai sighed as Chuuya plastered a bandage on his cheek, oddly reminiscent of his days as a sixteen year old.
Chuuya grabbed his arm as he went to leave, “I’m not letting you go back to them and come back even more beat up, you’re staying in Mafia territory until tomorrow.” Dazai rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. He left and wandered around the large mansion until he finally located the guest room and fell onto the plush bed.
Footsteps echoed off of the hardwood floors, the girls in the estate rushed away from the person. A young blonde twenty year old followed him, a soft pink dress on and a clipboard in hand. The girl rushed to open the door for him, he entered, waving to get one off of the floor, kneeling. He sat across from Koyo, “Now,” he stated, Elise vanishing in a blink. “Why did you call me here?” Koyo took a deep breath as Chuuya walked to the couch. “There’s something you should be aware of boss.”
Ranpo stretched and stood up from the table, it was few and far between the amount of times he had to do reports but he made sure to take them all seriously. After all, what would these poor people do without his ability?
He walked out of the conference room and was met with an almost quiet agency. He turned to Kunikida, sighing at how below this was of him. “Kunikida.” He called to the man half buried in papers. He immiately saw the blonde man stand at attention, papers falling off of his head from where he supposedly collapsed. “The president wants to know if you-“ Ranpo trailed off, staring at the ring on Kunikida’s left hand. “Kunikida, when did you get that ring?” The man stared at him for a minute, clearly unprepared for that question, “Yesterday afternoon.” The implied question was clear to the detective but he was too busy to indulge his coworker. “Did you have that engagement ring on when you slapped your coworker.” Kunikida stared at him for a few seconds, clearly processing the information. “Yes?”
Ranpo looked away, knowing Kunikida he slapped him harder than usual due to overwork. And he wasn’t used to the new thing on his hand, and that it was on backwards. “We need to get Yosano.” Kunikida followed Ranpo, obviously confised. The two rushed to the infrimary. “Did you apologize to Dazai?” Kunikida looked off into the distance, “I think so.” Ranpo heard the guilt in his words, so he didn’t.
He pushed the infirmary door open, making eye contact with his addition to the agency. “Kunikida slapped Dazai, Kunikida is engaged and overworked. Kunikida is left handed.” Yasano paled, staring at Kunikida in horror. She then rushed out of the office, Ranpo quickly turning and estimating the fastest way to the dorms. “Where is he?” Ranpo took a deep breath, Dazai was one of the few people that he couldn’t fully read. His mask was on constantly and his slip ups were so few and far between that it gave him little information on his true thoughts.
“He’s either in his dorms or at a bar. I don’t know him well enough to know anywhere else.” He ignored the sharp inhale of breath from Yosano. He could probably map out a whole schedule for each of his other coworkers and even gave Yosano one for a prank. So it was pretty clear that she realized the problem with Dazai’s masks. It took them nearly ten minutes to get to the dorms, the three rushing to his door and knocking on it.
“Dazai it’s us.” There was no response. Ranpo tried to open the door but found it either jammed or locked. He sighed. “Kunikida, if you could.” Ranpo took a step back and Kunikida kicked the door in, it was jammed. Kunikida grimaced at the state of the dorm but Yasano looked mildly concerned for her colleagues health. Ranpo assumed it would be like this so he just looked for clues of where their mysterious coworker was.
Ranpo sighed, “He’s not here or a bar.” Kunikida turned to look at him, “What?” Ranpo sighed and pointed to the brown trench coat that he’d never seen the man without. “He would never leave without that, he must’ve went to someone he trusted to crash or something.” Yasano sighed, taking a break from examining Dazai’s pantry. “So we’re back where we started. Ranpo sighed, “We can ask around if anyone saw him close-“ Kunikida’s phone suddenly buzzed. The man stared at his phone in shock, “Sorry but there had been a report of the Demon Prodigy being seen walking to the Port Mafia building, scaring civilians half to death.” The three looked to each other and Yasano seemingly relented from checking up on Dazai and instead searching for the demon prodigy.
The three camped out around the building, Ranpo by the entrance, Kunikida by the back to watch both the left and back entrance with Yasano checking on the right exit. It took nearly ten minutes before Kunikida spoke up. “He’s walking out of the building and towards a populated area!” Ranpo tensed, the demon prodigy was known for his ruthlessness and cunning. “He’s stopping in an alley…” Kunikida trailed off, heavy breaths instead of words being the only inclination of him still being on the line. Until no more footsteps could be heard on the lien. “He knew I was following him, he walked into a crowd of innocent people after flashing his gun at me, I couldn’t follow.” Ranpo cursed. “It’s fine, we should go back to the agency to record this information.”
Yosano was quiet the whole time, sometimes glancing out the door but assisting with the paperwork nonetheless. Ranpo waved away her concerns, “Whatever we’ve forgotten to do, this is more important.”
Dazai sighed, taking in the familiar scent. It felt nostalgic but also it wasn’t the stale smell of alcohol and antiseptic of his dorm room or smoky and garbage of his shipping container. Instead it was like crashing after pulling an all nighter, someone tucking him in. It was like what he heard children’s sleepovers were like, a warm parental figure and sleeping surrounded by friends. He opened his eyes, feeling more well rested he had in months, not since Atsushi had a nightmare and asked to sleep in his dorm room after he’d cleaned it.
He got up from the too soft bed and checked the clock in the corner of the room, the darkwood and pale-rose porcelain keeping the familiar feeling while drowsiness softened his too powerful brain.
He stared at the chair in the corner, someone had put his vest and trench coat onto it. He felt at the fabric, it wasn’t the same outfit, the quality seemed.. better. But Dazai was currently almost more late to the agency than usual so he had to leave.
He threw open the door, his previous outfit hidden in the drawers of the dresser in the room. He re-wrapped his bandages from the ones already in the room, he remembered putting them there, but when? Dazai hurried down the halls, rushing out of the estate to make sure no one saw him. Only as he passed out of the gates he realized where he had been. Koyo’s estate. He had to get to the agency. If they heard that he was seen leaving a mafioso’s house he would have no excuse unless he was currently at the agency.
It took him around five minutes to get back to the agency. Five whole minutes of trying not to be obvious he had been almost sprinting to his state of work. He took a deep breath before entering, smoothing down his hair and adjusting his clothes so that it wasn’t obvious he had run a mile.
He smiled and threw open the door, walking away from the doorway so the pen Kunikida would inevitably throw would lodge into the wall instead of his forehead. But the brunette didn’t even need to do it, instead when he entered the agency, and subtly dodged as normal, there were no stationary flying at dangerous speeds. Instead an eerie quiet accompanied the bandages man’s entrance.
Dazai laughed, pretending to fan away the thick atmosphere. “Wow! It feels like an oven in here, is Atsushi back and revealed a secret child with Akutagawa or something?” Surprising the atmosphere didn’t lighten up. Dazai widened his eyes, leaning on Haruno’s desk. Ranpo stared at him, Yosano accompanying him at his desk. Kunikida stood up, but Yosano cut him off. “Dazai, did you clean yourself up?” Dazai stared at her for a second, “What?”
Yosano stared at him for a second, and Dazai realized what she meant. “Oh, this little thing,” he gestured to the bandage, “A lovely lady I ran into did it for me, but sadly she left before-“ He smiled when he saw them all turn him out, letting him think about how the hell he’s getting his old outfit back. He started a couple distractions, asking about certain cases that he knows is connected to the Demon Prodigy and making sure that the topic of Soukoku was off the table while he was asking about Atsushi and Akutagawa.
He smirked as no one approached him as he sat on the agency’s firm and uncomfortable couch. He fought a tick in his eye when Kunikida ignored his distraction and walked up to him. He mentally sighed as the man sidled up to him. “Hi Kunikida~ how are you?” The man took a deep breath and Dazai felt alarms go off in his head, Kunikida wants to talk about feelings. “Dazai, I’d like to apologize for yesterday.” The brunette waved off the apology, “I understand, your stressed. It’s not a big deal.” He tried to hide the fact he wasn’t at all forgiving him around the language but Ranpo caught on. “Wow Dazai, that’s kinda cruel of you.”
Dazai felt something in him break. One of his chains of control on his temper. He wanted to show Ranpo how ‘cruel’ he could be, wanted to have him plead and cry. Wanted to tear out his heart with his tee-“Wow Ranpo! How’s your cases doing, I’ve got none because my little ducklings out of the nest.” Kunikida sighed, attention diverted, “You have work, you just force all of it on Atsushi.” He gave Kunikida a smile while mentally trying to catch his out of control temper and get it back under control.
Dazai rolled his eyes but apparently today the universe hated because of course someone had to check his dorm room. Yosano looked at him simpathetically, “Dazai, are you okay we checked your dorm not only were you not there, but also there was little actual-“ Dazai waves her off. “Yosano, I’m fine I simply crashed at an old colleague of mine’s place.” Not enough of a lie for Ranpo to hop on it, but not enough information for them to get worried. Yosano didn’t understand his wonderful deflection strategy though. “Dazai, the only food in there was canned crab, whiskey and a couple apples.” Dazai sighed dramatically. “Canned crab is the only food you need Yosano, I have a strong alcohol tolerance, tap water exists and an apple a day keeps the doctor away.” He mainly ate apples because of that rhyme, it makes him feel better imagining Mori be threatened by a simple fruit.
Yosano opened her mouth to argue but Dazai cut her off, “Anyways don’t you all have a super important project and when Atsushi comes in, he has to bring Akutagawa with?” The three turned to each other. Kunikida whipping his head to look back at Dazai from where he had meandered closer to his paper filled desk. “Akutagawa has to come here?” Dazai sighed. “You’re the paperwork guy, check the agreement.” Dazai looked at all of the bewildered faces. “Am I the only one who checks the mission reports the mafia sends us?” He saw Kunikida mouth, ‘mafia mission reports’ and decided that maybe Ranpo was right and they were in fact, all idiots.
Dazai sighed, headphones in hand. “You better check your inbox’s soon, or else you won’t know how to get Akutagawa to stay to answer your questions.” He smirked as his work partner dived for his old laptop. He sighed, ignoring the way the stiff couch felt on his back, that should keep them busy for a while.
It took twenty minutes (and four repeats of Dazai’s double suicide song ) for the famed Shin Soukoku to make it to the agency. Dazai made eye contact with Akutagawa, ignoring the pang of guilt he felt whenever the boy immediately straightened in his gaze. He gaze a simple, go on gesture and had to fight a smile when the boy relaxed ever so slightly. He hopes that maybe he won’t have it be this way anymore. Maybe he’ll get to actually compliment his student without fear of the boy taking it and leaving the earth, but hopefully Atsushi will help him get a less toxic reason to live.
He almost laughed when Akutagawa almost stabbed an overly excited Kunikida. “Akutagawa, I have a few questions about your mission.” Dazai wasn’t really paying attention but Kunikida apparently hadn’t gotten the emails that Dazai had. Apparently Dazai was appointed ‘Mafia contact’ in the ADA and Fukazawa never thought to mention it. So now due to Dazai’s impossible password. (It took him nearly an hour to make one he wouldn’t forget but it was so worth it when even Ranpo couldn’t figure it out). Akutagawa sighed and sat on Atsushi’s desk, the weretiger being too tired from the mission to do anything but attempt to shove the man off with his tired and limp arms. Dazai wished he could take a video, from Akutagawa’s prideful smirk and Atsushi’s utter embarrassment it would be pure entertainment.
Kunikida took a deep breath and brought out a clipboard. Since he couldn’t access the mission document he had no clue what fell after, post mission relay of information and what counted as trade secrets. Dazai on the other hand that Akutagawa only had to answer relevant information and that was dependent on what someone thought is relevant information. So technically Akutagawa wouldn’t have to answer any of these questions.
He knew that if he was asking the questions they would all be answered. Firstly because of how thoroughly he thought Akutagawa to listen to him and secondly because they were mostly about him. But no one else caught on on the two’s strange relationship other than Atsushi and Dazai was too busy enjoying the entertainment than helping his former mentee reveal information about himself.
Kunikida seemed to be hyping himself up as Akutagawa looked around the room. “Did you hear anything about the rumors of the Demon Prodigy re-emerging in the mafia.” Akutagawa stared at Kunikida for a second before discreetly looking at Dazai. “Kunikida~ come on, those rumors are months old, who do you even know if he knows this executive. I think all that case research is getting to your head.” Akutagawa pondered his words and Dazai fought back a smile when he unwove the message from them. “I have no idea what rumors you’re alluding to.”
Kunikida sighed, “I saw the Demon Prodigy leave the Port Mafia building and escape into a pack of civilians just yesterday. Are you sure?” He was sure the rest of the agency thought that the look Akutagawa was making was one of shock since he got caught. But Dazai knew that the young adult was trying his best not to laugh. “I’m certain that those rumors are unfounded, I have seen the Demon Prodigy around. But he hasn’t done any missions in ages.” Atsushi looked at Akutagawa.
“But didn’t Higuchi tell you that he says ‘Hi’?” Akutagawa glared at the weretiger and Dazai was happy he had years of practice at a poker face because he would’ve burst out laughing if he hadn’t. He would have to thank Higuchi for that. Kunikida stared at Akutagawa, “You know the demon prodigy?!” Akutagawa sighed, and Dazai could swear he saw a glimmer of mischief in his eye. “Of course I know him, one should know their commander.” Atsushi turned and stared at Dazai.
Akutagawa got a phone call and he stood up from the desk. “Goodbye. I hope your mission is fruitful for finding him. He’s known to be slippery.” Aktugawa turned away. “Like a fish.” Dazai gaped at him. He did not. He schooled his expression, letting his eyes stay open for a while longer. “Well… that was informative.”
Atsushi cleared his throat, “Dazai, didn’t you train Akutagawa? Doesn’t that-“ Dazai smiled, “mean I worked under the Demon Prodigy. You’d be correct. The two of us were pretty close.” Dazai smiled, “Oh look at the time, I have a date with a river I have to catch. See you later!”
Akutagawa was halfway to the port mafia from the agency when he got the call. He swore he’d make it back to the agency in two minutes.
Dazai strutted out of the agency, down the stairs and into the cafe. He ordered a simple cup of tea, and tried to pretend it held a candle to Koyo’s. He was on his third sip when he heard what he was waiting for.
A loud, screeched “WHAT?!” A thump and loud, approaching footsteps. Dazai smiled as the waitresses around him grew more and more concerned. He set down his tea just before a hand forced him up in the air.
He didn’t bother to reach for the hand lifting him up by the throat, compared to some of the other times he’s been chocked out this was nothing. He smirked at Kunikida. Who dropped him when Atsushi and the rest of the agency ran down the stairs. He curled slightly on himself and rubbed his neck slightly. “Wow Kunikida, I didn’t know you were into that.” Kunikida took a deep breath. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew the person I’ve been chasing for years!?”
Dazai pretended to think about his response, leaning against the table. “Cause it was funny watching you run around like a headless chicken while I held all the cards.” He shrugged and watched as the man’s control snapped. Atsushi watched in shock as the man brought his hand towards his mentor. Stuck between two figures important to him, Atsushi froze, and no other detective was fast enough. Dazai smirked, he was going to attack him in front of literally everyone. Despite his frankly weak excuses for attacks they were getting annoying.
None of them were prepared for the punch to be blocked by black energy. Or for a fuming mafioso to walk up from the entrance of the cafe, silencing the remaining chatter. “I did not just see you try to attack the man who saved me from the slums, Doppo Kunikida.”
The detectives stared in shock as Akutagawa sidled up next to the detective he just saved. He glared at his former mentor who looked at him in shock. “You really have no regard for your own safety.” He glared at the rest of the agency. “I was told by a close confidant that one of you were attacking a mafia affiliate and to come here to make sure it didn’t escalate, and it seems I stopped you from digging an even deeper grave for yourself.” Kunikida stared at Aktugawa, “What are you talking about? I was knocking some sense into him.”
The man rolled his eyes, “Sure, but when I knocked sense into him, it was once and after provocation. Not due to him causing you slight discomfort.” Kunikida opened his mouth, but Akutagawa was not having it. “You should know that my superiors have heard of this and decided that if anything else happened they’ll come here and talk to you all… personally.” He sized up the agency, seeing the way Ranpo stood both behind Kunikida but also in front of Yosano. Kenji looked confused while Atsushi and Kyouka were looking to the floor alongside Tanazaki.
Akutagawa sighed. “We need to return to the agency. This isn’t something to be done in… public.” The agency looked to Dazai, but upon it being clear that he wasn’t going up the stairs first, they all did so first, with Ranpo in the back of the line and the kids in the front. Akutagawa turned to Dazai. “You are still considered an executive so Kunikida is charged against attacking one of the higher six. All of the executives that are able have to attend alongside any witnesses and the mafia boss. You know what this means.” Dazai sighed, looking at his neglected coffee cup. “It means that Kunikida has committed treason of the highest order and without my intervention he could be killed. Akutagawa nodded, turning to the stairs. “We also have to talk to the president to make sure he wasn’t enabling this behavior.”
Dazai sighed. “This is all going to go to hell. Don’t bring the kids or Atsushi into this.” Akutagawa bristled at the mention of his rival but nodded. “Of course, the kids weren’t active in the attacks and aren’t fully developed humans so they have some protection, Atsushi was away when this was brought to our attention so he has the benefit of the doubt alongside being young as well.” Dazai sighed and nodded. “Come on Akutagawa, time to see how much the agency really believes in justice and redemption.”
The conference room was silent, Dazai had yet to enter. Kunikida was halfway through explaining the situation when he was interrupted by Yosano. “He was attacking Dazai in the workplace daily and due to Dazai’s past as a part of the mafia he is facing repercussions for his actions.” Fukazawa turned to Kunikida who was quieted after Yosano spoke up against his actions. “Doppo, is this true?” Kunikida nodded. Fukazawa sighed. “Well we better be prepared, none of us know how deep in the mafia Dazai was, we have no clue who tended for his wounds or made him smile on hard days.” Fukazawa sighed, “But from what I know of Mori, he sees his employees as machines, and doesn’t take well when someone damages one."
Dazai walked up to the conference room, taking a deep breath before opening the mahogany doors. He saw Fukazawa at the front of one side of the circular table, the agency surrounding him. Kunikida was on his left and Yosano was on his right. Akutagawa stared at the arrangement for a second before sighing. “Kenji, Kyouka. You two don’t have to be here. You both are children and shouldn’t be punished for adult’s doings.” The two glanced at each other from across the table before looking at the President who gave them both relived smiles. The two stood up and walked out of the room.
Dazai sighed and sat two seats left to the center seat. He saw the way Kunikida’s eye twitched from the way he wasn’t near the center but Dazai would rather not be next to who he knew would sit there.
The man walked to the agency. His subordinates trailing behind him like barely leashed pets. The blonde woman was back. Pushing everyone in front of them out of the way before suddenly shrinking, her hair turned short and baby fat reapplied on her cheeks. Her outfit somehow shrunk with her, as if it was made specifically for this purpose.
“Daddy, why must I come with!” The man at the head of the pack gave her a look and she rolled her eyes. “I’m playing with Kenji and Kyouka anyway!” The man gave her a smile, but it wasn’t kind. It was one that promised that she didn’t have a choice. “Don’t worry Elise, I’ll let you be autonomous for a while, but if anything happens.” The girl rolled her eyes as they reached the door to the cafe. “Fine, show them no mercy.”
The group trudged through the silent cafe and up the stairs. Elise left them to hang out with her fellow kids, but the rest just squared their shoulders and took a breath. Mori smiled as he threw opened the doors, “Now who decided to assault the boy I raised since he was fourteen?”
The room fell silent, not a single breath could be heard as Mori, the mafia boss, the grim reaper stood in the doorway of the room. Dazai sighed, “You act like you didn’t glorifyingly kidnap me.” Mori rolled his eyes and stepped into the room, Koyo and Hirotsu either side of him. “I kept you alive didn’t I?” Dazai huffed but didn’t refute it.
Mori sat in the center of the table, Koyo sitting to his left and Hirotsu to his right. Higuchi sat beside the old mafiaoso and Chuuya sat on the left side of his old partner. Aktugawa hadn’t moved from his seat three seats right to the center, seating him next to Higuchi.
Dazai ignored the way Chuuya immediately zoned in on his neck and then turned to Kunikida, murderous intent poorly hidden. “Did you fucking choke him a minute ago?!” Kunikida looked down and Fukazawa stared at his ‘unproblematic’ employee who had been revealed to choke his own work partner right before attempting to punch him.
Dazai waved it off, “Chibi it’s fine, it’s not the first time and not even the worst.” Dazai pointedly ignored the agency’s stares as he addressed Chuuya. The ginger just gave him a blank look. “I know it’s not the worst case of you getting choked, that was either the time you got stabbed alongside it or the time I had to save your ungrateful ass!” Chuuya threw his hands up. Dazai shrugged, “See? Not that bad.”
Koyo rested her hand on his shoulder causing the man to tense and turn to her. “Dazai, you shouldn’t worry about having to get beaten up by your coworkers.” Dazai gave her a look, “You all have no ground to stand on.” Mori sighed, “Dazai, we are a somewhat criminal organization, of course there’s going to be abuse amongst our ranks. We care about results not people.” Dazai rolled his eyes. “So why are you here.”
Mori smirked, “Because as far as I know you never turned in a termination letter.”
Dazai gaped at Mori. “I didn’t need one, I sent you my old coat… burning.” Mori hummed, ignoring the disbelieving stares from the agency. “True, but you were known for your defiance. And all you did was not report to missions. You never ratted us out, no secrets were shared. Your own coworkers didn’t know you knew Akutagawa until recently!” Dazai glared at Mori. “Don’t you Dare.” Mori shrugged, a smirk at his lips. “Don’t worry, I know I can’t force you back. So color me surprised when I was informed that you were found in out territory recovering from a wound neither we nor any criminal gave you.”
Dazai looked down, unable to say anything to that. Fukazawa looked at his old friend, surprise clear on his face. “He was on your territory.” Koyo coughed, “He took it upon himself after getting kidnapped that he would have some ‘revenge’,” the air quotes weren’t there but instead heavily implied, “by going around headquarters messing with various members of staff and using his access to my mansion to disturb an executive’s work.” Chuuya grumbled and Dazai simply patted him on the arm. “Don’t feel so sad, I’m sure your office loved being covered with blue glitter.” Chuuya shot him a look that could wither flowers.
“Anyways, on one such expedition, just yesterday. He talked to Higuchi, and influenced her to speak unprofessionally to someone a higher rank than her before heading out to my mansion. Everyone who saw him there can attest to the fact he had a cut across his cheek, but all thought it was due to his job and didn’t report it.” “HA! I work for the Detective Agency there’s no way!” “The Mafia allows its workers to have multiple jobs, if anything I could argue your a spy into the ADA.” Dazai looked downright offended. “You doctor wannabee…” He reached under the table, and the ADA stiffened, if one of their own killed the Port Mafia boss the alliance would be over.
Dazai threw the red projectile at the port mafia boss’s head. The criminals made no attempt to stop him or the object. Mori simply grabbed it out of the air and stared at it before sighing, “An apple, really?” Dazai smirked at Mori, baring his teeth at the man. Mori sighed and bit into the apple, not breaking eye contact.
Dazai sighed, “I thought you would die on the spot, I was lied to.” Yosano stared at the interaction with a mix of horror and intrigue.
Mori sighed, “Continue Koyo.” Then bit into the apple again, clearly enjoying the way Dazai’s eye twitched every time he did so. Chuuya was looking off into the distance gaze slightly cloudy, as if he was hearing something far off as his hands curled and uncurled.
Koyo nodded and continued, “He than went to my estate and I found him… lying on my couch.” Atsushi stared at Dazai, who wasn’t even denying it at this point, Dazai simply shrugged and was leaning closer and closer to the executive on his left, as if testing how far he could go before getting kicked under the table.
“I noticed that he had gotten into an altercation and asked him if since it wasn’t from us, then if it was from a criminal.” Historu coughed, “Since, in the past if someone laid a mark on someone of Dazai’s rank, they and their affiliates would be executed.” Kunikida paled and Atsushi seemingly unconsciously reached for his arm, as if to remind himself he was still there.
Dazai sighed, “You’re all taking this too seriously.” Koyo gave Dazai a look, who was now mere inches away from Chuuya who was glaring at him, but not stopping him. “After Dazai responded with he had gotten beat up because he had gotten jumped and couldn’t kill them like he used to,” the agency paled, looking to each other to make sure they all heard the same thing.
“Since I couldn’t tell if he was lying or not I decided to bring in someone who could.” Ranpo scoffed, ignoring the warning looks surrounding him. “I’ve known Dazai for three years and even with my intelligence I can barely anticipate him, I can barely check if he’s lying or not. And you all can?” The mafiosos looked amongst themselves, multiple of them with some variation of a smile on their face. Koyo stared dead into Ranpo’s eyes. “Three people in front of you can tell if he’s lying and all of us have known him longer than you.”
Ranpo stared at them, “Which ones? I mean, Mori’s obvious but who else?” Historu raised his hand but smirked, “How about a game instead, if one of you can guess the third person who not only can tell if he’s lying but also can understand his thought process I’ll tell you a young Dazai story later.”
The agency gaped at him but eventually gave in. Tanazaki, Atsushi and Kunikida said Akutagawa, while the rest said Higuchi and Ranpo chose Historu. Because he said, “He trusts you immensely, you have to understand him.”
The mafiosos looked at each other, before laughing. Chuuya accidentally moving away from the finger Dazai was poking him with. “Really? I’m the only one sitting only next to the bastard and you all think I don’t know him?!” Dazai shrugged, “They thought Gin was a guy so.” Chuuya burst out laughing, before staring at Dazai. “Jerk, don’t change the subject.” He glared at Dazai, subtly moving closer to the man. “Yes I understand Dazai cause the boss thought it would be a wonderful idea to partner me with the flippin mackerel seven years ago.”
Chuuya pointedly ignored the suprised stares and open jaws from across the table. “So Anne-ni called me over and what did I see when I opened the door?” Chuuya shoulder-checked Dazai, but the brunette just moved more left and kept their shoulders touching causing Chuuya to roll his eyes. “This bastard trying to leave before I got there, as if he didn’t add hair dye into my shampoo a week ago!” He glared at Dazai, “Anyway, I grabbed the bastard by the arm and got someone to get me supplies to clean the jerks wound cause I knew that he’d do a half assed job himself.”
The agency didnt know what to say, none of them had ever gotten Dazai to do any sort of self care, let alone helping him bandage his wounds. He didn’t trust them with his weakest but he trusted their enemy with it. Chuuya sighed, “So I got him to tell me who did it. He was all like ‘are you jealous’ so I asked the fucker if it was Kunikida,” he pointed to the offending man,” or Ranpo,” he gestured to the genius. “ He was a bitch about it and I found out it was Kunikida. He noticed when he got slapped so he must’ve flinched even a tiny bit. And that he was hit cause he was apparently not paying attention when Kunikida was talking about an unsolvable case.”
Ranpo raised an eyebrow, “An unsolvable case?” Chuuya chuckled, “The answer could be right in front of you and none of you would’ve able to find the Demon Prodigy.” Mori stifled a chuckle, and then pretended that he didn’t draw attention to himself on purpose. “Wow, that’s the case you’re assigned to? I almost feel bad.” Kunikida snarled. “I will catch that demon in human skin. He doesn’t deserve-“ a syringe barely missed his temple. Elise staring at him from the doorway. Stoic and still as a statue before walking up to Mori and sitting on his lap, causing the people in front of them to cringe. Mori tilted his head sideways, “Can’t a daughter sit on her Father’s lap?” Elise’s appearance suddenly changed, aging rapidly until her skin rotted off and all was left was bones. But the skeleton rested its arms onto the table. “Is this better for you all?” The mafia boss asked.
The ADA capaciously nodded now looking worriedly at the thing in the boss’s lap. “Good, now continue how my top executive isn’t human, I’m sure everyone here would love to hear it.” They glanced around, seeing Higuchi half heartedly holding Akutagawa back, Koyo putting her arm in front of Dazai as Chuuya had grabbed him with one arm and a knife in the other, Hitsoru didn’t move but he did set his hand on the table, ready to flip it at a moments notice.
Fukazawa took a breath, “I apologize for my subordinate’s words, please continue.” Mori hesitantly nodded, “Chuuya if you will?” Chuuya glared at both of them letting his left arm on the table, knife still in hand, while his right arm had Dazai close to him, knuckles white as if stopping himself from doing something. “So the bastard then decided that ‘hey, going to the place that just let me get injured to go to sleep will be swell!’ and I shut that down.” Atsushi looked up terrified, “You kidnapped him?!”
Chuuya laughed, his grip on both Dazai and the knife relaxing, “No kid, I simply told him I didn’t trust you fuckers and he should sleep in our territory so that y’all don’t fuck him up more!” The ada looked among themselves, guilty and apologetic. “So then he went to his room in the mansion and passed the fuck out.”
Tanizaki raised his hand, causing Chuuya to roll his eyes. “This ain’t grade school, talk when you want to.” Tanizaki gulped, taking a deep breath. “He has a room in Koyo’s mansion?” Chuuya turned to Koyo, who nodded before responding. “Yes, after hard missions when he was younger he couldn’t head home, instead he simply slept in one of our extra rooms.” Chuuya nodded along to the explanation and Dazai gave a hesitant hum from where he was slightly pressed against his old partner.
Koyo sighed, “Now I think only the young lad could finish this tale.” Akutagawa nodded, sighing a second before talking.
“I had finished my mission with the weretiger and headed over to the agency for a mission report and they finally decided that they all should listen to it and not just Dazai-San.” Tanizaki stared at Dazai, “You wrote out mission reports without complaining?” Dazai sighed and turned to Tanizaki, though still glued to Chuuya’s side. “Yes, I have written thousands of mission reports without protest. But if I complain, you all don’t assign me as much.” Mori rolled his eyes and Hitsoru face palmed.
Aktugawa cleared his throat. “When I entered the agency the whole group seemed to be anticipating our arrival. Kunikida then asked about the Demon Prodigy, I then deferred to the highest mafia member in the room, Dazai-San. And he basically told me to give as little information as possible and deny any knowledge I have of the executive.” Kunikida fumed, muttering under his breath but learning his lesson about interrupting the discussion.
“So I did as I was told, but I left with revealing that the man had been my commander. I was halfway back to headquarters when I got a call from Nakahara-San that Kunikida had acted physically against Dazai yesterday and to tell him if I suspect he would do so again. I responded that I knew Kunikida would act against Dazai and rushed to him as protocol.” Akutagawa then glared at Kunikida spitting out the next words.
“So I came just in time to see Dazai with bruises on his neck indicating he’d been chocked recently and Kunikida swinging at him. And due to my own knowledge of Dazai and his dislike of dodging, I intervened and warned the perpetrator that he would have to answer against his crimes to a mafia affiliate and that my superiors were on the way.” Mori nodded, “And we were.”
Mori smiled at Fukazawa, what was once Elise having sometime vanished during Akutagawa’s report. “Now old friend, tell me why I shouldn’t kill your employee right now and cut all ties with the ADA.” Fukazawa met Mori’s gaze. “Because you wouldn’t be able check up on Dazai. Who’ve you known for years.” Mori waved away the deal. “If you weren’t listening at the beginning of this discussion, Dazai is still part of the mafia, having never officially resigned.”
Dazai sighed, “Mori, I’ll do a mission bi-monthly if you let him go with a slap on the wrist.” The ada stared at Dazai, who seemed almost half-asleep bargaining for Kunikida’s life. Mori chuckled, “A week each month.” Dazai gave the man a look, “A day each month.” Mori smiled, “Deal.” Dazai sighed. “Put it in writing and I’ll sign it after going over it.” Mori smiled and the mafia, sans Chuuya and Akutagawa joined him. Mori smiled at Fukazawa, “You should hope this is the only time you see me here Fukazawa-Dono.”
The door shut softly behind the group. Chuuya stood, half dragging Dazai, Akutagawa stood in front of them. “We’ll get to you on Kunikida’s punishment tommorow, though it’ll be difficult to do something less.. bloody.”
The three left the agency in silence. The letter came the next day with Dazai, who acted as if the previous days transactions never happened . Kunikida never raised a hand or foot against his colleague, and Fukazawa put him in anger management. The mafia forced him to sort every one of their recordings of the Demon Prodigy’s deeds, all good and bad, and disobeyed him from reading a single one.
Dazai still randomly spent time at the mafia, but instead chose to speed walk past the record room to not bump into his coworker and started sleeping in the joint Koyo and Chuuya estate before giving up and letting them cook him breakfast as well. Higuchi found out that she could in fact stand up for herself as long as someone else threw the first punch and got transferred to work under the demon prodigy, who appeared ever full moon to clear a whole desk of work in a day. Akutagawa took it upon himself to work with Atsushi every new moon. Though the reason was never told to his partner. Fukazawa learned that he should trust in Dazai a bit more and Ranpo realized at even idiots can be assholes sometimes.
(The End)

Anonymous Creator Sat 02 Aug 2025 11:24PM UTC
Last Edited Mon 22 Sep 2025 08:16AM UTC
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