Archive of Our Own ^beta

It happened again...Darry yelled a Ponyboy again. He promised he would try to be nicer and here he is yelling at his little brother for failing math. He needs to stop yelling he has too but he's still yelling at Ponyboy....

Once again tears are flowing down Ponyboy's face as he apologizes and begs for Darry to stop yelling but it's no use...he won't stop...he never does... until Ponyboy can't take it and runs to his room.

Darry watches as Ponyboy runs to his room sobbing and Sodapop following trying to comfort his little brother. Darry silently curses at himself for letting this happen again. Ponyboy probably hates him now, or at least that's what Darry thinks. He doesn't believe he was ever a good brother even when their parents were still here... he's harsh and rude, but he still loves them...more than anything.

Darry looks down at the report card on the table...he didn't tell Ponyboy that he did a good job...the rest of his grades are A's... Why is he like this, why does he nitpick everything little mistake his brothers do...why can't he just a good brother. Maybe they would be better off without him.

Darry gets a pen and a sheet of paper and writes a note, leaving on the table as he leaves.

"For my little brothers,
I'm sorry I'm so harsh to you both. I keep on trying to be like dad or mom but I'm not like them, I'm nothing like them. You need someone better than me. Someone who will actually treat you like his brothers and not just another thing to take care of. I know you think I'm not a good brother, I don't think I am either. I'm sorry for not being the brother you both needed. You'll be better off without me. Take care of each other. I love you both so much.
Sincerely, D. Curtis"

The cold wind chills Darry to the bone as he walks to the train tracks. He would always come here to cool off after work, but it's different this time. He walks along the track for a while before getting to the forest area where the track pass through. The only sounds around him are the crunch of autumn leaves beneath his him as he walk and his shaky quiet sobs.

Darry steps onto the train tracks and just waits for this mess to be over. He pulls out a cigarette and take a drag. The smoke fills his lungs as waits. He sits there for what feels like hour before the tracks rattle under him. He smiles and takes a shaky breath as he waits for this to finally be over.

Just as he sees the bright lights of the train come into veiw he is pulled by his wrist off the tracks and into a tight hug by two people as the train whizzes by them. It's Ponyboy and Sodapop...

His brothers cling to him like a lifeline as they sob against him. He looks down at them before hugging them back, sobbing heavily as he apologizes for leaving them. His brothers tell him that they are just happy he's alive.