Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Roman! has created a group chat.

Roman! has added Logan. to the chat.

Roman! has added patton-cake to the chat.

Roman! has changed the name of the chat to Core Group! .

Logan.: What is this?

patton-cake: :O woa!!! ok kiddos, now this, is cool!

Roman!: I just figured we should have a place to chat when we’re apart! Also will be good for when we work on that end of year project together

Logan.: Well, I do appreciate having a place designed for, and dedicated to, organisation.

Roman!: I know you do… Microsoft Nerd

Logan.: And by ‘that project,’ I presume you’re referring to the final group presentation for Dr Ferryman’s class?

Roman!: Uhhhhh yah hah!

Logan.: We haven’t been assigned groups for that yet - in fact we don’t know how big the groups will be - and you’re presuming the three of us will be together? For an end of year, senior project?

Roman!: Now you’re getting it!!!

Logan.: Right. An important project that makes up an insane amount of our grade. And you think I want to work on that with you, Roman?

Roman!: Just mean and loud for no reason

patton-cake: heyyyyyy if this is a group chat then we need virgil in here!

patton-cake has added virge to Core Group! .

virge: oh god 

virge: no

Roman!: I knew he’d hate it

Roman!: Plus, he doesn’t take world history! 

Logan.: This doesn’t feel organised - at all. Roman, you lied to me.

patton-cake: viiiiiirgiiiiiil!!! we couldn’t leave ya out buddyyyyy :DD 

virge has left Core Group! . 

patton-cake has added virge to Core Group! .

virge: nooooooo

patton-cake: why not ya little bundle of darkness?

Roman!: Ooft rough one 

Logan.: I’m going to learn how to silence a group-chat, and then I’m silencing all of you. This is already too much. And again - not organised!

virge: why do i need to be here 

patton-cake: because we’re all here and you’re part of the group kiddo!

virge: -_-

virge: this is a horrible idea princey. one of ur worst 

Roman!: I didn’t add you p!ate! I’m not to blame hereee

virge: p!ate?

Roman!: Panic! At The Everywhere

patton-cake has changed Roman! ’s nickname to princey .

patton-cake: see! Fun! :D 

virge: this is my hell

patton-cake: we’re still missing members of our family roro :( you can’t leave them out!

princey: Not a chance in hell, Patton

virge: this is already hell

patton-cake: you can’t leave them out!!!! 

patton-cake: plus he’s literally your brotherrrrr

princey: no

virge: stealing my lowercase no punctuation swag i see how it is 

princey: No way!!!

patton-cake: :P 

patton-cake has added Remust kill to Core Group! .

princey: NO!

princey has removed Remust kill from Core Group! .

patton-cake: roman!!!! thats so mean!!!!

Logan.: Roman, surely you know Patton well enough to know he won’t let this go.

virge: voice of reason as always L

Logan.: Thank you.

princey: Let it be known I am not happy about this

virge: ya doi

patton-cake has added Remust kill to Core Group! .

Remust kill: ooooooo a groupchat delightfool

princey: Hey

virge: [waving_hand]

Logan.: Hello, Remus. Welcome to ‘hell.’

Remust kill: oh im familiar with Hell this isnt Hell 

virge: ur right its worse 

patton-cake: hiiiiiii remus

Remust kill has changed their nickname to dukey .

dukey: now we match >:^]

princey: Christ in Heaven

dukey: Satan in Hell

Logan.: Virgil, I’m beginning to see your point.

virge: they all come round eventually 

patton-cake: then ro will come round to remus too!!!! <3

princey: Never.

dukey: >:3

patton-cake: who could hate a face like that!!!! adorable!!!! 

patton-cake: :3 :3 :3

virge: hey L did u find that mute button yet question mark

princey: Happy yet Pat?

patton-cake: sure am!!!!! the whole gangs here ! :D

dukey: not the hole gang

dukey: heh hole 

virge: ????? what is ur problem omg

patton-cake: who did we miss oh no!!!

virge: been here 2 sexs

virge: secs*

virge: oh god oh no

dukey: ;] did someone say my favourite words

dukey: TWO sexs???

dukey: now we're talking 

princey: Let's kick him

virge: i agree with prince pompous

patton-cake: no!!!!!!!

patton-cake: who've we missed remus??

dukey has added Janus to Core Group! .

dukey: ayyyyyyy!!!!! 

Janus: Absolutely not.

Janus has left Core Group! .

dukey: boooooooo!!!! 

princey: We are not adding snake face to this

patton-cake: ROMAN!!!!!

patton-cake: thats HORRIBLE 

virge: …

dukey: …

dukey: open ur door

princey: Pardon

dukey: im outside your room

dukey: open the door

princey: No????

princey: You'll hurt me

dukey: yeah lethally. open the door 

princey has added Janus to Core Group! .

Janus has left Core Group!.

princey: He doesnt even want to be here!!!

dukey: JAAAAAAAAAN

virge: hes not here dude 

patton-cake: lets all be nice to each other!

virge: they hated jesus because he told them the truth

dukey: JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANUS

dukey has added Janus to Core Group! .

Janus: Why. Just why. 

Janus: I totally want to be here. Why else would I have left twice?

virge: booooo

princey: Remus I can see your feet under the door FUCK OFF 

dukey: open up

Janus: ?

virge: L get back here please unmute us help

patton-cake: now the whole gangs here!!!

dukey has changed the chat name from Core Group! to hole gang .

Logan.: I was gone for five minutes.

Logan.: You're all idiots.

Janus: Excuse me.

Logan.: Get out while you still can.

Janus: Already tried.

dukey: >:D

dukey: were all Happy and Blessed to be here [angel]

princey: STOP SLIPPING THREATS UNDER THE DOOR

dukey: my b

virge: this is my hell

Janus: Preach.

patton-cake: i think we're all going to have a lot of fun! 

princey: God hoping

Chapter Text

Logan.: I misplaced my library pass, can I borrow anyone else's for today?

virge: ur what

Logan.: My… library pass? To use the library after hours? We get one during exam seasons?

virge: im lost

patton-cake: where are you?? do you need picked up????

virge: what

virge: no i mean i dont know what logans talking about

virge: also patton you cant drive?

Janus: @Logan., you can borrow mine.

Logan.: Oh. 

Logan.: You don’t need to. I don't mind missing one day of studying. I can always study at home.

Janus: Alright fine, be like that then. Didn't want to give it to you anyway.

dukey: oooooo nerrdssssss

dukey: hey jan where u going cum back 

Janus: Bathroom.

virge: ok piss boy 

princey: Where is everyone sitting????

patton-cake: usual spot roro!!! usual table, usual chairs. the uuuuuusual

princey: Ohhh I see you!!

princey: I am rapidly heading in your direction.

virge: threatening 

dukey: where do yall sit

princey: Why do you care weirdo?

dukey: kill a guy for being curious why dont u

dukey: no rlly. why dont u? >:^]

patton-cake: we sit back left of cafeteria!!!!

patton-cake: where do you and janus sit???

virge: u cant join us

dukey: i dont want to emo freak

virge: y is he still here

Janus: We sit under the big tree, by the metal perimeter fence that goes from the gate round the football fields. Big shady tree. Far away from everyone else.

virge: k edgelord 

dukey: i just watched janus type out ‘kill yourself’ and then delete it @virge 

patton-cake: janus!!!!!

Janus: What are you gonna do? Kick me from the chat? Pleaaaaase don’t, what would I do without you?

patton-cake: :( 

Janus: Sorry, Patton. That was catty of me. 

princey: Logan where the FUCK are you?

Logan.: I’m waiting in line. It’s pizza day. 

dukey: I FORGOTTTTTT oh man now i just gotta eat shit 

princey: Mom literally made you a pb sandwich 

dukey: poop butt sandwich

Logan.: Also Janus, you’ve duped us once more as you’re not under the tree. I can see that tree from here. Where are you really? Why don’t you want us to know where you are?

Janus: Scroll up, we’re in the bathroom right now though. 

dukey: fuckin and suckin

Janus: Ignore him. We’re smoking. 

dukey: which will lead to us fuckin and suckin

Janus: I NEED you to kill yourself. 

princey: Remus gross 

Logan.: Smoking?

dukey: weed

Janus: Okay shut up?

virge: without me????

Janus: We’re not friends???

virge: were in the same gc that makes us friends

virge: pls can i join

patton-cake: i disapprove of this ! 

princey: Abandoning me for my own brother!! /hj

dukey: hey im gettin deja vu where have i heard that before

dukey: hey jan didnt i say that b4

Janus: Ha! 

Logan.: Stay safe at least.

Logan.: I’m dictator this on my phone as I walk comma please tell me the words are right question mark

princey: Dictator

dukey: DICK tator 

dukey: dick potato 

Janus: Nailed it. 

virge: what bathroom u guys in

Janus: You’re not getting a hit.

virge: idc ill breathe in 2nd hand smoke i need this 

dukey: basement bathroom, freshman stalls with the broken door

dukey: just kick the door real hard itll open

virge: thx

Janus: Whatever. 

Logan.: @Janus does the offer still stand to borrow your library card?

Janus: No lol

Logan.: Fair enough. 

princey: What?? No that’s so fucking rude omg? Janus are you fr??

dukey: hes occupied

princey: GROSS????????

virge: hes coughing a lung up 

princey: Hey so I don’t want to hear any of this????

virge: he took a blinker dude cool it 

dukey: yeh i wish i was gettin my dick sucked 

dukey: save that for later…. dont wait up for me bro

princey: I hate you so fucking much

dukey: xoxo remus 

patton-cake: hey how about we all be nice to each other please!

patton-cake: group assignments for history tomorrow 

patton-cake: who does everyone want to be with? :D 

Logan.: I wouldn’t mind doing it alone. I’d get it done much quicker, no one would do any work wrong, and I’d likely get 100.

virge: hopefully i dont get paired with anyone thatd be awkward

patton-cake: XD

Janus: Holy shit did i just see an XD?

dukey: you didnt capitalise the i loser

Janus: Remus, begging on my knees, die. 

dukey: yeah youd like me on my knees wouldnt u janny 

princey: GROSS! ENOUGH 

princey: I will kick you Remus

princey: I want to be partnered with Patton and Logan. Obviously 

patton-cake: awwwww roooooo, i want you guys too!

Janus: Get a room.

Logan.: There goes my ideal situation of doing it alone then. 

princey: If we end up paired together feel free to do it alone and let me take the credit 

Logan.: That’s what always happens.

dukey: i want janus

princey: Remus count your fucking days 

dukey: for the project you freak. get your head out the gutter. im a good christian boy 

Janus: I don’t care. As long as I get an A. I don’t care. 

patton-cake: youll do great janus!!!

virge: “ooo i dont care as long as im perfect”

virge: janus just hit me 

dukey: it was awesome dude 

Janus: Whatever. See you in class, Patton.

patton-cake: see you there janus!!

virge: L hows the pizza

Logan.: Oh, it’s awful. Truly a despicable excuse for pizza. But my dad didn’t pack me any lunch.

princey: It looks terrible I have no idea how you’re eating that, man

patton-cake: me cause i think it looks good

Logan.: You’ll eat anything.

patton-cake: this is true!

virge: this is a scientific fact 

princey: Aw man lunch ends too fast for me

virge: meet u guys in english

Logan.: Before anyone asks (Roman), yes you can use my notes.

princey: You gorgeous gorgeous man

virge: gay

Logan.: Don’t mention it.

Logan.: Seriously, don’t. I’m not getting detention again. My father will never forgive me. 

princey: My lips are sealed 

dukey: losers i have a free

Janus: Oh my God, Remus, kill yourself.

Chapter Text

dukey has opened a private chat with Janus . 

dukey: bitches love my mustache 

Janus: I was using my free period to nap, thank you.

dukey: bitches LOVE my mustache

Janus: I’m not convinced you can call that a mustache.

Janus: What happened, what’s got you so cheery?

dukey: i got patton for the project 

Janus: Uh huh. I know. I was also there. 

dukey: hes coming round later to dickscuss

dukey: oops i mean *discuss

dukey: butterfingers [man_shrugging]

Janus: Ew. 

Janus: Since when do you have a thing for Patton?

dukey: since today when he asked to cum round??? keep up

Janus: Right…

dukey: whod u get????

Janus: You pay no attention to anything other than yourself, huh?

dukey: >:3

Janus: You’re so infuriating, how am I friends with you.

Janus: I got Roman.

Janus: So, I’m working alone essentially.

Janus: Did you not hear him physically gag?

dukey: ohhhh booooo my stinky brother 

dukey: he smells like. flowers and shit. 

Janus: And you smell like actual shit. 

dukey: like a real man should 

Janus: Lol

dukey: wots your topic 

Janus: Rousseau. 

dukey: oh yuck

dukey: before u ask… i do not know my topic 

Janus: And I wouldn’t expect anything else from you, Re.

dukey: [kissy_face]

One new message in hole gang.

Logan.: Has anyone met this Thomas person? I’m partnered with him for World History and want to know if I can get away with doing everything alone.

patton-cake: oo!!! ooo!!! i chatted to him in algebra!!! hes sweet

patton-cake: he helped me out a bit, i think he’ll pull his wait 

virge: weight*

princey: Grammar police over here 

virge: dont ever compare me to the police everagain 

virge: so who’d every1 get

virge: assuming none of u got L lol

patton-cake: i’m with remus! so roro ill be round yours later on today <33

princey: I dont want to talk about who I’m with

patton-cake: he’s with janus :) 

virge: lmaooooo

princey: Don’t. I’m in shambles 

Logan.: Why? Janus is intelligent. Just because you don’t like him - which may I point out, is rather unprecedented, you’ve never properly interacted with him - doesn’t make him a bad partner for an academic piece of work. If I had to be with a partner, Janus would be my first pick in manners of achieving a high grade.

princey: Logan I’m not reading all that 

princey: Plus. He’s in my house All The Time. That’s Remus’s only friend

dukey: um excuse me you dont see us cos we spend all our time in my room fuckin and suckin 

dukey: or driving about. to find a place to fuck and suck

princey: I DONT WANT TO KNOW

Janus: We have never had sex, I’m begging you to stop telling people that we have.

Janus: I’m not even gay.

Logan.: Falsehood.

patton-cake: thats a good one janus <3

Janus: ????

virge: wait

virge: r u actually NOTgay

Janus: I’m not. Stop asking.

princey: Step one; denial 

dukey: step 2 daniel

princey: Fuuuuuck I have to hand it to you, that was a good one

dukey: im here all week

princey: You’re always fucking here no matter how hard I try to get rid of you

dukey: you could never egt rid of me i will torment u forever 

dukey: thats what twins are for 

Logan.: Shocking that out of our entire group, only one of us has a sibling. And how unlikely for them to be a twin.

Janus: I have a younger brother.

princey: You’re not part of the group tho

patton-cake: roro thats so meaaaan stop :(((((( 

dukey: i know where you live 

Janus: [eyes_rolling] 

Janus: Wanna come over to work on the project?

princey: Not really 

Janus: Didn’t think so. It’s fine, I’m walking to your house right now.

princey: I beg your pardon???

Janus: Then beg.

dukey: i invited him freak

Logan.: You have a younger brother?

virge: cmon L keep up

Logan.: I have this chat muted, and I’m in the library. I found my card. 

Janus: Yuh huh. 

princey: patton and I are in the kitchen do not bother us 

dukey: use protection

dukey: or dont im not ur mom

patton-cake: OKAY we’re waiting for you two! 

princey: ????

Janus: 5 minutes away. 

dukey: did u lock the fucking door i hate you

dukey has opened a private chat with princey .

dukey: bro i left my keys

dukey: in the lizard enclosure 

dukey: i want her to open doors 

One missed call.

dukey: OPEN THE DOOR

One missed call.

dukey: i will come in thru the window

dukey: im going to climb up the drain pipe and drop out the ceiling and strangle you

Two missed calls.

dukey: you know i will

dukey: i climbed into the loft before ill do it again

One missed call.

dukey: PISS FACE

princey: Jesus okay. 

dukey: thank you :3

“He’s on his way down,” Remus beams over to Janus, dropping his phone into one of his cargo pockets (where he will inevitably forget about it and panic), and rocking back onto the heels of his boots. The shoes give him an extra inch of height, taking him to be two inches taller than Janus. 

The aforementioned fiddles with the brim of his plain black baseball cap, rubbing his fingers over his left cheek, where a large patch of vitiligo encaptures his features. He’s spent a lot of his elementary, middle, and now high school life being mocked horrendously for his more unique appearance. His skin is a rich, terracotta brown, the left side of his body patched with bright vitiligo. It wraps around one eye, down his cheek, jumps a little past his neck to attach to his collarbone, and continues in patches down his left side. Arms and hand, down his torso, down his left leg. He can’t say why it’s so concentrated on one side. He was born with a striking case of heterochromia, his right eye another deep shade of brown, dark, foreboding - and his left was a jade green. As if that wasn’t enough, as if kids didn’t already have a reason to pick on him for being ‘different’, atop his left eye, surrounded by the vitiligo, was a dark, reddish-purple birthmark. And his little brother had nothing. Plain brown skin, two brown eyes, no birthmark in sight. Janus often credits himself for taking all the uniqueness before his brother had the chance.

He was an easy target throughout school, and found himself turning towards isolation and agitation, hiding in the company of the only one to put up with him - Remus Royal. And what a name that was. The stranger of the Royal twins, he was distinctly different from his brother, sporting a more ‘punk’ look, always seen in his heavy black boots, and some sort of dirtied or painted trousers. Whatever jacket he wore, whether it be denim or leather, was always adorned with patches - and to this day, Janus had never known someone to accessorise quite like Remus. Among his myriad of decorations, he had a necklace with a tooth on it, and Remus could never seem to answer if it was real or fake. And he had dyed a silver chunk into the front of his hair, supposedly to make sure no one could confuse him for his brother. At one point he had gotten all the way to the razors, intent on giving himself an undercut, before his mother had caught him (half way through shaving) and begrudgingly taken him to a proper salon to have the undercut shaved properly. 

Janus kicks the ground, stuffing mustard fingerless gloves into the pockets of his dark grey hoodie. He’d let Remus sew a few patches onto one of the sleeves of the garment, his favourite being the yellow two-headed snake, stitched neatly just under the elbow on the left arm. Remus had said it was an act of reclamation, that no one could hurt him when they called him a snake, when they told him to pick a side. Remus assured him he was unique, that he was different, but that he should be proud of it. “If everyone was normal, no one would be.” Or, “who decides what normal is? People can’t handle your differences. That’s their problem. You’re cool as hell.” Remus thought his appearance was ‘cool.’

That’s why Janus keeps him around.  

A key clicks in the lock and the door pulls open, revealing a tall Roman Royal looming in the gap. “Why the hell did you put your keys in the lizard tank?” Is the first thing out of his mouth. Janus observes the strange way Roman carries himself. Shoulders a little too straight, head slightly too high. His fringe drops in front of his face, and Roman swipes it away with a manicured hand. He’s wearing slightly baggy, lightwash blue jeans with a red belt, he has gold earrings in, and a tight fitted red and white t-shirt. He has a thin gold chain with an italic R dangling from it. Janus thinks he looks ridiculous. 

“I’m teaching her to open doors,” Remus answers as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “and then he can help me take over the world. Me and Veeder against the universe.” Ah yes, Veeder. Remus had already made it known to Janus that it was short for ‘Vehicular Manslaughter’ which was so insane… it was perfectly Remus. 

“Am I still around? Or have I been fed to the lizard by this point?” Janus chuckles, sliding his sneakers off at the door, tossing them in the same direction as Remus’. The Royal household is like a second home to Janus, himself and Remus spend around 25% of their time in each of their four hangout places. 25% at Janus’ home, 25% at Remus’, 25% in Janus’ car (sometimes driving them to the mall, or in the general direction of a fast food location), and 25% just milling about in the woods, sometimes up trees, sometimes in a fire pit, but always smoking among the foliage. 

Remus spins on his now-socked heel, narrows his eyes at his friend and throws him a sly grin. “That’s to be decided. Don’t cross me, Janny.”

“Stop calling me that,” Janus rolls his eyes and hears Roman huff disapprovingly behind him. “What’s your damage, Princey? Can’t handle a little bromance?”

“Yeah, back up bro, don’t watch me stick my tong-”

“That’s plenty, thank you!” Roman interrupts with a grimace as Remus cackles, throwing an arm around Janus’ shoulders, squeezing. Janus bats the touch away. The feeling of another's skin upon his body makes him shudder, and very slowly, a fire begins to spark in his stomach. 

Roman has already marched ahead through their large sitting room and into the ornate kitchen, where Patton sits, laptop open in front of his face, though his eyes are angled down, and Roman can spy the reflection of Instagram in his glasses. But Patton looks up when his friend enters, beaming, blonde curls bouncing by his ears. The smile wavers when he spies Remus and Janus creep up behind, but he manages to force it back up rather quickly.

“Hey, you three!” Patton waves, sliding his phone face down onto the table. He struggles a little with Janus and Remus, finds them… difficult. Janus is hard to read, fueled by sarcasm and frustration with the world as it seems, and Remus is just… (and Patton feels horrible for thinking this), weird. The two brothers are like the North and South pole, opposites yet… They have their overlapping similarities. Externally, they appear to have made an outrageous effort to look totally different, Remus with his darker style and eyeshadow, Roman with his bright, fresh face. And yet they’re not totally different. They’re the two most creative guys Patton knows. But of course, he knows Roman much better. 

“What’s up, Patton, how was your day?” Remus swings his backpack off his shoulder, tosses it haphazardly onto the floor and slides into a dining chair across from his work partner. He rests his chin on his hand, almost immediately seeming uninterested in getting any semblance of educational work done. 

As Patton answers, something about it being as wonderful as always, Janus slips his brown leather book bag down, slithering into the seat next to his friend, observing Roman from the corner of his eye. The teenager glides around the room with practised ease, pouring himself a cup of water, retrieving a pack of cookies from the cupboard to place in front of Patton as he passes. He opens the pantry and only has to search for a second before he lands on exactly what he’s looking for, sliding a granola bar into his pocket, and practically catapulting a family bag of chips across the room, slapping into the side of his brother's head.

“I hope you die,” Remus reacts swiftly, though his tone holds no real weight as he tugs the bag open, delving in. He offers the bag to Janus, who holds up a gloved hand and shakes his head.

“Oh no, I would love to but you know I’m on this strict diet,” he comments, overdoing it, drawing every word out and shaking his head faster and faster as he pulls out a handful. He’s finishing articulating the reply as he places the first chip between his lips, the sour expression painted across his cheeks melting into a coy smirk as he chews. Ew, sour cream and onion. 

Roman finally plants himself next to Patton, pushing his iPad onto its stand and fumbling ever-so-slightly to tug the Apple Pencil from its charging port. The struggle makes Janus smile. 

“Cookies,” Patton beams, tugging the packet open to snack. “Thanks, Roro!”

“Thank you, Roro!” Remus mouths over to Janus, fluttering his eyelashes and clasping his hands together by his cheek. Janus hits him on the side with the back of his hand.

“Don’t be mean. He’s a sweetheart,” he corrects. Remus rolls his eyes but nods solemnly. 

The four sit in relative silence for a bit, Janus having retrieved a book from his bag on Rousseau, scratching notes into his workbook in neat cursive writing. Remus hasn’t done much, Janus can quite clearly see him playing Plague Inc on his laptop with a focused expression. He hasn’t spoken to Roman, who is tapping away on his iPad, and occasionally taking a lazy screenshot. Patton seems to be mostly mindlessly snacking, although every so often he’ll poke Remus across the table and whisper something about their project.

Janus feels his phone buzz in his pocket, and for the first time in forty five minutes, he fishes it out from the back of his jeans. 

Logan. has opened a private chat with Janus . 

Logan.: Hello.

Logan. is typing…

Janus: Hello?

Logan.: Janus, I wanted to send you an apology for my recent behaviour. I apologise for denying your library card when it was clear you were attempting to help, with no malicious intent. I should not have been so dismissive, and in the interest of open communication I will state that the reason I declined is that I do not entirely trust you. I am aware of your past with Virgil, and despite him having explained the story in a more calm manner since the events, I admit I am still tinged with the memory of his sadness at the time. This being said, the past is the past, and it would be good for the group if we could put it behind us. All in all, I am sorry for being avoidant and rude, and would be pleased if we could get to know each other better. Maybe you and Roman could even learn to get along. Sincerest apologies, Logan.

Janus: Okay, man, it’s whatever.

Janus: You didn’t want my card. I’m sooooo upset.

Janus: Apology accepted.

Janus is typing…

Logan. is typing…

Logan.: I’m glad.

Janus: Maybe it’d be cool to hang out as a group, yeah. If everyone’s okay with it. I don’t mind though if nothing changes.

Delivered.

Janus glances up from his screen, flinching when he notices Roman’s intense, scrutinising stare, fixated on his face. “Did your mother not teach you it’s rude to stare at people like that?”

Roman rolls his eyes, “I zoned out.”

“Sure you did, Princey,” Janus snorts, placing his phone face up on the table. He grabs another chip without thinking and grimaces as he chews. God, they’re gross. How does Remus keep on shoveling them in? 

The image of Roman is burned into his brain, and when Janus looks down at his notes he realises his usual looped letters have begun to slope down the page, squirming away from between their perfectly placed lines, escaping as his pen bleeds into the paper. He sighs, flips the page and continues as he left off, focusing harder on keeping everything where it should be. But he can’t shake the Royal scrutinising him, that must be it. Studying all his features. Comparing him to some monster. He’s certain he was being examined, taken apart piece by piece, each bit put back together with disgust, sewn in with unspoken insults.

Janus’ phone buzzes again, he glances at the screen for a second. It's his little brother, he turns his head away, if it was urgent he'd call. He goes back to his swooping notes, curling his ‘L's as he writes. Three more messages come though. And then his phone starts to vibrate.

Emile :p is calling…

Janus sighs and drops his pen. Remus doesn't look away from his screen but waves his hand dismissively. “Sorry, I have to take this.” He rises, answering the phone as he leaves the room, wandering out into the hall. “Hey, what's wrong?”

Roman's eyes follow Janus as he exits. He'd been examining the way Janus worked. The way his hands swept across the paper as he wrote, the way the ink smudged ever so slightly as he dragged his gloved hand along the careful notes, rereading every page. He'd watched the way he read, carefully mouthing the words as he went. He'd noted how his eyelashes splayed across his cheeks whenever he thought about the words he was writing. And now he was taking a phone call, fingers dancing along his hips as he walked away, a sassy sort of tilt to his voice. 

Who was he calling?

“Who's he calling?” Roman mutters across the table, to his brother, who finally glances up from his laptop. He's definitely not been taking any notes. 

Remus hums, rocks back in his chair and chews on his nails before replying. “Logan, maybe? That's who he was texting earlier.”

“Why would he be calling Logan?” Roman questions as Patton glances up, bites into his cookie and flicks his eyes between the two brothers. 

Remus laughs a little, “I dunno? Why do you suddenly care?”

Roman goes quiet. He shrugs.

“Nosy bitch,” Remus tips the last of the chip bag into his mouth, wiping his hands on his black cargos. 

Janus is gone for ten minutes before he returns, grabbing his books from the table. He turns to Remus and kicks him in the shin, “hey, I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow,” he punches his friend in the shoulder who nods and pushes him away.

“Hope you die on the way to whatever you're gonna do.” 

“I'll jump in front of every car I see,” Janus beams, teeth glinting as he stuffs his notepad and books into his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. He doesn't say bye to Roman, but he waves to Patton, who offers him a cookie for the road.

“Bye, Janus!”

“Has anyone seen my phone?”

One new message in hole gang.

virge: im bored

virge: any1 free rn

dukey: studying 

patton-cake: saaaaaame sorry virge :(((

princey: Clearly neither of you are studying put your damn phones away

dukey: you put YOUR dam phone away ur meant to be studying too

Logan.: All three of you are jeopardising your education.

patton-cake: we're taking a break!

patton-cake: a cookie break :3

princey: You've been eating cookies the whole time

patton-cake: and now im eating one with my laptop closed 

dukey: ive been playing games this whole time

virge: so every1 busy?

Janus: Not that you want to hang out with me, Virgil…

virge: R U FREE?????

Janus: No.

virge: fuck u

Janus: [tongue_out]

princey: Whyd you disappear?

Janus: Emergency.

dukey: dick emergency 

Janus: Ew. Dude. My brother called.

patton-cake: oh no!!!!! is he okay????

Logan.: That sounds rather serious.

Janus: He's fine. Had to go back for the car. He needed a ride. Friends left him stranded.

princey: So you ran off nobley to save him!

dukey: ok princey calm down

virge: mr knight in shining armour over here

Janus is typing…

Logan.: Janus, are you driving currently?

patton-cake: jaaan dont text and drive

dukey: jan?

dukey: jan?????

dukey has opened a private chat with Janus.

dukey: dude?????? 

dukey: r u driving?????

One missed call.

dukey: bro pick up

dukey: did u jump in front of a car

Three missed calls.

dukey: bro answer me

Five missed calls.

Three new messages in hole gang.

patton-cake: someone call him

dukey: i tried 

virge: shit 

Janus: Jesus Christ, guys. Seventeen missed calls?

Janus: I was driving, fuck me.

dukey: can i? >:^]

princey: Glad you survived janus 

patton-cake: i think i deserve a second cookie from all that stress

Logan.: What a roller coaster.

Janus: You're all sooooo dramatic. Cool it next time. 

virge: yeah pump the breaks 

virge: i wasn't scared

Janus: Liar.

Chapter Text

patton-cake has opened a private chat with virge .

patton-cake: opinion on carrot cake?

patton-cake: actually virge can you rank something for me

virge: is it cakes

patton-cake: you guessed first try!!! It is cakes yes :DD 

virge: fire away

patton-cake: carrot cake, devils food cake, red velvet, vanilla, strawberry 

virge: ok 2 secs

virge: order of worst to best, strawberry, red velvet, devils food cake, vanilla, carrot cake 

virge: my decision is final 

virge: unless you disagree then im open to change 

patton-cake: thank youuuuuu :3

virge: whyd you need to know question mark

patton-cake: ahhh curiosity killed the cat and i dont want you to die 

virge: what

Delivered.

One new message in hole gang .

princey: yooooooooooooo

Logan.: Roman?

princey: yaaaaah

princey: or naaaaah

princey: guess who

Logan.: …Roman?

princey: incorrect buzzer sound!!1! u LOSE!!! u get NOTHING!!!!

Janus: Remus, did you take Roman’s phone?

princey: ding ding ding!!!!!

Janus: Nice.

patton-cake: awww thats not so nice

virge: did he deserve it

princey: obviously 

princey: omg omg omg

princey changed their nickname to pissy .

Janus: Nicer.

patton-cake: oop! pissy and dukey!

Logan.: Oh, yes, I guess I can see the humour in that.

Logan.: Is toilet and sexual humour all you ever engage in?

pissy: yuh huh

Logan. is typing…

virge: ur in trouble remus

Janus: He’s still typing. Paragraph incoming?

patton-cake: hit us with the facts, teach!!!

Logan.: How irritating…

patton-cake: no paragraph :O 

virge: he culdnt think of a single thing to say omg

Janus: Imagine how I feel. He’s even worse when he’s high.

Logan.: You should stop smoking weed with him then?

Janus: Who would I smoke with then? 

Janus: Oh yes, of course, I’ll just stop smoking.

Janus: Don’t be ridiculous.

pissy: roman is trYin 2 kl me

pissy: nisjssha908y93bhm

pissy: Bitch

virge: did u,,, kill,, him,,?

Janus: Please say yes.

patton-cake: ro would never!!

pissy: That absolute scoundrel snuck into my room and let his lizard shit on my bed!!!!

pissy: And stole my phone on the way out

pissy: I was just doing my hair 

dukey: was funny tho

Logan.: Incredibly immature.

dukey has changed Logan.’s nickname to iNerd .

dukey: betta fitting dont u agree

iNerd: I do not.

patton-cake: inerd!!!! thats so good

patton-cake: our fav nerd

Janus has changed dukey’s nickname to dookie.

Janus: Now you two can match again.

virge: pffffft

dookie: im not mad at this

Janus: Knew you wouldn’t be.

dookie: r u honking at me

Janus: Yes, bitch. I’m outside.

iNerd: I’m not even at school yet. Aren’t you going to be insanely early?

patton-cake: did you guys also sign up to volunteer with the new staff tours??

patton-cake: i tried to, but it would get in the way of my study hall period and i need that study time >-<

patton-cake: roro you signed up right?

pissy: Sure did! A valiant act that… will look good on college applications

iNerd: I must’ve missed the applications for that.

dookie: and u think We signed up for that???

patton-cake: maybe! 

pissy: Remus can i please ride with you 

pissy: Please I’ll be late if not 

dookie: ask j-anus not me 

Janus: That’s not any better than Janny.

dookie has changed Janus’s nickname to j-anus.

j-anus has changed their nickname to Janus.

Janus: And are we actually giving your brother a ride??

dookie: yah why not

Janus has opened a private chat with dookie .

Janus: Are you serious rn???

dookie: improper grammar???? someones in trouuuuuble

dookie: its me idk why i did that 

Janus: Remus. You want me to give your brother a lift. 

Janus: We’re not volunteering.

dookie: i dont see the issueeeeee

Janus: Oh I don’t know. Could it be we’re gonna HOT BOX the car????

Janus: I’m suuuure Roman won’t care, no he probably gets high AAAAALLL the time.

Janus: Bro, are you kidding me????

Janus: TELL HIM NO

One new message in hole gang.

pissy: Thanks Janus

pissy: Remus said you said yes 

pissy: Weirdly cool of you…

virge: the happy couple everyone 

patton-cake: remus and janus or roman and janus????

iNerd: Since when was anyone dating anyone?

dookie: hes not dating me 

dookie: hes married to me

Janus: Remus is my wife.

dookie: *husband

Janus: **Not gay.

dookie: ***yet

pissy: Wait I left my hairbrush

virge: remus kill him

patton-cake: roro i left my laptop charger at yours please please please grab it i am forever in your debt

pissy: Got it!

Janus presses down sharply on the horn of his car, pushing his face into the steering wheel. He keeps it running on neutral, but the twins are taking a damn long time. He glances up and spies the two emerging, finding just enough early morning clarity to scoop up his pen and shove it harshly into the glovebox. He rolls the window down, sticking his head out and rolling his eyes. “Any day now, ladies. I’ve not got anywhere to be.” His voice drips with its usual sarcasm.

“Cool it, Goob,” Remus sneers, sidling around the side of the car and barging his way into the passenger seat. He throws his bag to the ground with no regard for anything inside and tosses his head back, reaching over blindly to flick the brim of Janus’ cap.

Roman follows, albeit a little more sophisticated, and clambers in the back, clutching his backpack. He’s suddenly a little nervous to be back in the car with his (insane) brother and his (nasty) friend. He’s not sure if Remus or Janus have any sort of… will to live? And even if they do, he’s not entirely convinced their will to live outweighs their desire for him to die. (Roman vastly overestimates the level of hatred Remus and his friend hold towards him. In reality, the vitriol hasn’t got much of a leg to stand on beyond sibling rivalry and general neutrality, perhaps leaning towards vague annoyance.) 

“The bowler hat was one time!” Janus sneers, starting off down the road as Remus pokes and prods at his shoulder, trying to distract him. 

Roman remains silent, watching the scene. They really do act like a couple, it’s almost sickening. And yet Janus insists he isn’t gay? Then again, he is sort of renowned for being a liar - or majorly sarcastic? But also a little bit of a liar. If people ever questioned him about the patch around his eye, he had a different, wacky - but almost believable - response. Roman still doesn’t truly know if it’s a burn, a birthmark, or dark wizard magic. Probably not that last one, right?

“-orca! I could totally beat the shit out of a Great White though.”

“No, you definitely couldn’t.” Janus veers around a sharp left, coming to a sudden halt at a red light. “My least favourite turn of the trip.”

“I could so beat a shark. Imagine that getting its jaws around your leg, just absolutely mangling it off. I mean, it’d rip me to shreds but I’d win. You know I’d win. I can’t die. I just like, gouge its eyes and make myself king of the ocean. And fuck all the hot fish, have a sexy fish harem,” Remus kicks his feet up onto the dashboard, exhaling softly out the slightly rolled down passenger window. When did he start vaping in the car? Roman had missed that. What a loser, oh let me puff on my cherry flavoured nicotine… 

That does not smell like cherries.

He wrinkles his nose. “So, you two, volunteers huh?” He asks, voice only wavering a fraction as Janus cranks the radio up a little. Greenday is playing. 

He laughs, shaking his head as they turn another left. “Oh yes, of course. They totally want Mr ‘Failing Every Class’ and Freak Face running their staff tours. Of course,” Janus drawls, glancing in the back mirror, meeting Roman’s eye, and cracking up all over again. He catches how Roman grips onto his bag for safety, as if it’s buoyant, as though he’ll float away, out onto the road if he’s not too careful.

“Right,” he glances out the right window, “so, why are you guys arriving so early?”

“Gotta get high before first period,” Remus responds. “I’ve already started!”

Roman ‘ahh’s like he gets it, and tugs his phone out, pretending to be enraptured by something, anything. He notices his disgusted expression in the reflection of the dark screen before switching it on. He wishes he’d never gotten in the damn car. 

pissy has opened a private chat with patton-cake.

pissy: Patton I’m going to die in the back of this car

pissy: Tell my replica sword I love her

Janus hums, slowing down as he turns into the school's student parking. He pulls off a shaky maneuver, only slightly squint in the space. They’re parked right up the back, tucked by a lining of trees, usually where students dump their cars overnight. The windshield is sure to be covered in sap by the time school’s over, but that’s why it’s the perfect spot. No one ever comes back here to check, they only ever come here to abandon.

“Thanks for the ride,” Roman mumbles half-heartedly as he scrambles out the car, missing Janus’ grunt of acknowledgement. He shrugs his bag over his shoulders, starting down the parking lot and up into the school. Why did he agree to this again? Something about college applications? 

Two new messages in hole gang .

pissy: I hate this so much. Remind me to never sign up for anything ever again this sucks

patton-cake: you lived through the car ride!!!!

virge: shock

virge: i wasnt worried about the car crashing

virge: i just thought remus would reach back and stab u or smth

dookie: >:^]

iNerd: Roman, where are you? Could you come to the main door and let me in? There’s no one on reception.

pissy: Sure, I finished tour no1 so now Im bored

pissy: Wait why are you here so early?

iNerd: Dad’s in a bad mood. Wanted out of the house and got sick of wandering around the neighbourhood. Please retrieve me.

Janus: OOooooh retrieve me he says.

dookie: dookie

patton-cake: are you two feeling okay?????

pissy: Don’t worry about them. Logan help is on the way dear

virge: mrs doubtfire 

virge: when in doubt dress up as a nanny and stalk the kids youre not allowed to see

pissy: Could you not. Like just once can you not 

virge: unfortunately i always have to

patton-cake: well if lo and ro are there ill head off too. could charge my compuer a bit :(( before class

virge: i admire ur ability to be so so bad at spelling and grammar and still have a 3.5 gpa

patton-cake: its cos im so cute 

dookie: sure are ;^]

“You,” Janus coughs around his fist, the windows of his car rolled up tight, “have got to stop fake flirting with Patton. You don’t have a thing for him! Stop leading him on!”

“I fake flirt with you,” Remus points out, tilting his car seat back, “and I don’t have a thing for you either.”

Janus feigns horror, “that was fake?!”

Logan taps once, twice, three more times on the main entrance, pleading with anyone inside to please grant him entrance. He’s bored, and slightly cold, and his back hurts from jostling his bag around for a couple hours already. 

“Hey, Four Eyes, come on in,” Roman cackles as he holds the door open for Logan, who steps graciously inside, making a comment about how the used nickname ‘wasn’t even a creative one.’ Roman sticks his tongue out as the door swings closed, “it’s too early for me to think of anything better.”

Logan hums, “how was the car ride here?” They start down the hall towards the cafeteria, where there's three other volunteers sitting around the same table. None of them speak to each other, merely scrolling through their phones. 

Roman drops down at the table behind the group, Logan slotting himself in across from his friend. “Awful,” he whines, eyes rolling.

“Did you at least try to make conversation?” Logan raises an eyebrow, sliding his bag onto the floor and basketing his hands on the table. 

Roman groans, sinking down into the table, knocking his forehead off the top. He sighs down into the wood, shaking his head. “I was super focused on not dying, Logan.” His words are muffled by the fact that his face is smushed into the table, but he can practically feel Logan’s eyes rolling, and can sense the way he adjusts his glasses.

“Well, actually, you had no control over the overall safety of the ride. That was in Janus’ hands, did you at least thank him for the ride?” The words make Roman raise his head ever so slightly, just enough to remain slumped but rest his chin on the wood. He looks up at Logan sadly, but nods.

“Of course I thanked him, he did me a solid. Even if I had to listen to him and Remus debate if they could beat a shark in a fight. And Remus started talking about his future fish harem,” he starts to trail off, eyes wandering to the walls behind Logan’s head, tracing the lines in the cinderblock. 

Logan sighed, pinching his nose. But he nodded. “You should really try to get along with your brother, and by extension, his friends.”

“Friend.” Roman corrects swiftly. “He has one friend.”

“He could have more if you helped him a little,” Logan shrugged, leaning down to root around in his bag. He gets gradually more annoyed, looking down as he rummages, then hauling his bag into his lap. “Damn,” he huffs.

“What’s wrong?” Roman attempts to ignore the way Logan’s words dance around his brain, if he helped him a little. What would that even entail? Maybe make sure he gets along with Patton, at least. And what? Try to overcome his… iffy feelings for Janus? Great. 

“Nothing, I just-” Logan drops his bag with a thump, an uncharacteristically careless action, “I thought I had a breakfast bar.”

Roman tilts his mouth into a frown, then bolts upright. “Ooh! I have a granola bar in my pocket, from yesterday!” He fishes it out and tosses it across the table, where Logan thanks him and rips into it. “Don’t mention it.” He grins, humming. 

One new message in hole gang.

patton-cake: im heeeeere

iNerd: Roman just ran off to do another tour, but I can come let you in the main doors.

patton-cake: its ok!!! janitor let me in :DD 

iNerd: Ah, okay. I’m in the cafeteria but I was going to move to the library. Meet me there?

patton-cake: you got it lo :3

virge: youre all awake far too early 

iNerd: School starts in 30 minutes, did you just wake up?

iNerd: You’ve been texting us, how are you still in bed?

virge: i was awake earlier then i went back to sleep

patton-cake: cat nap!!!!

dookie: honk mimimimi

dookie: guys important question

iNerd: Hm?

patton-cake: tell us tell us tell us!!!!

dookie: could i beat a great white shark in a fight 

virge: do u have a weapon?

dookie: hand to hand

virge: on land or water?

dookie: land

patton-cake: i believe in you. you could do it.

dookie: thank you

Janus: Please don’t encourage him.

dookie has changed Janus’s nickname to j-anus.

j-anus has changed their nickname to J-anus .

J-anus: If you’re not going to let this go at least have it capitalised.

pissy: GUYS IMPORTANT ALERT 

patton-cake: ?????? whats going on!!!

iNerd: Also, @patton-cake, I’m in the library now.

patton-cake: almost there!!!

pissy: NEW PHYS ED TEACHER

pissy: HOT AS HELL

pissy: Foaming at the mouth guys

J-anus: Prove it.

virge: ok gay boy 

dookie: send pics 

dookie: send his noods

pissy: I wish

pissy: Hes the man of my dreams guys 

iNerd: That’s the seventh man of your dreams this year.

pissy: [tongue_sticking_out]

J-anus: You’re all soooo gay

dookie: hes cackling in the drivers seat btw

dookie: he finds this really funny

dookie: he told me to die 

pissy: Seconded 

virge: thirded 

iNerd: No comment.

patton-cake: can anyone come with me to the supermarket after school?? I need to buy Various Items <3

virge: i could

patton-cake: no virgil you cant i need it to be… someone else….

virge: this doesnt have anythin to do with u asking about cakes and my birthday coming up does it

patton-cake: i plead the sixth!!!

iNerd: It’s the fifth.

patton-cake: no todays the 13th lo 

iNerd: I have no words.

iNerd: I can go to the store with you.

patton-cake: yay!!!!

J-anus: Oooo what kind of cake 

patton-cake: carrot :3

dookie: blieuygghh

J-anus: I want cake.

J-anus: @dookie let’s get cake during our lunch period.

dookie: YAAAAAAY

pissy: [one attachment]

dookie: HELLO SAILOR 

pissy: I KNOW RIGHT?

iNerd: Is that the new teacher?

iNerd: He looks like he could be a student.

dookie: i cann0t say what i wish to say

J-anus: That’s a good looking guy.

virge: woaaaaaa okay i see it princey

patton-cake: awww he’s so cute!! <3

dookie: i would

pissy: Eugh.

virge: guys im going to be late

patton-cake: run!!!!

J-anus: We’re coming inside 

dookie: im cumming inside 

J-anus: I’m going to kill you. [red_heart]

dookie: promise? [pleading_eyes]

pissy: You two are so fucking weird 

dookie: <3

Chapter Text

patton-cake has opened a private chat with iNerd.

patton-cake: thanks for running to the store with me lo!!! my mom just gave me some cash so i can pay you back on mon???

patton-cake: unless you wanna hang out before thennnn :3

patton-cake: i am asking to hang out

patton-cake: no pressure 

patton-cake: he says. spamming until he gets an answer

iNerd: You’ll do anything but study, huh? 

patton-cake: yeeeeees :3

patton-cake: i WAS supposed to work on my project with remus today but apparently he has ‘urgent business’ to attend to

patton-cake: i didnt ask anymore… becos knowing him its something weeeeeeird

iNerd: He’s not that bad, Patton. 

iNerd: Roman is an obviously biased source. We should really spend more time with them, especially since he’s integrated into our group-chat now. 

patton-cake: oh im sure theyre great!!!!! im just intimidated lololol

iNerd: However, yes I wouldn’t mind seeing you over the weekend. You’re a lot of fun, Pat.

patton-cake: AWWWWWWWWWW

patton-cake: I LOVE YOU TOO LO <333333

iNerd: I never said that. 

patton-cake: you were thinking itttttt

iNerd: I suppose you’re correct.

One new message in hole gang.

pissy: @virge @patton-cake @iNerd 

pissy has changed their nickname to Roro .

Roro: Hey guys I’m heading back from the gym just now if anyone wants to come round and chill in liiiiiike

Roro: 45 minutes???

Roro: So I have time to shower and change and whatevaaaa

patton-cake: YES YES YES YES YES YES

virge: sure ill do anything to avoid homework

iNerd: I’ll ask my father. But that should be okay.

dookie: um??????????

dookie: excuse me???????

Roro: I dont have to invite you Remus, you live here

dookie: duhhh i know that 

dookie: but

dookie: @J-anus and i r literally sitting in the living room rn

dookie: ur gonna interrupt our Hot Date

Roro: Then go somewhere else??

dookie: no fuck u i live here

dookie: and i got here first

dookie: BITCH

patton-cake: your date was urgent business?

dookie: soz patton i didnt want to study and my hubby was free

patton-cake: i understand!! (i also dont want to study) :3

dookie: >:3

iNerd: I don’t understand why we can’t just hang out as a big group. That could be fun?

Roro: You're joking right 

iNerd: When do I ever do that? 

Roro: You want to hang out with my loser brother 

dookie: be careful when u get home ill be hiding and waiting 

virge: yeaaaa i dunno

patton-cake: could be fun! 

patton-cake: i think

iNerd: Well, it could be a chance for us to get to know each other a little. And Virgil, maybe we could start to leave the past in the past?

virge: …

dookie: x to doubt 

Roro: Even Remus is against this Logan

iNerd: I’m usually right, so maybe actually listen for once?

patton-cake: eeeek he has a point 

patton-cake: virgeeeee we’ll leave the deciding to you?

virge: fuuuuuck off

virge: fine

virge: lets All hang out together 

J-anus: I’m sure we won’t regret this…

Roro: You were here the whole time and didnt say anything???

J-anus: None of you ever care about my input so I just watched. :)

dookie: ill go on a snack run >:^]

Roro: Nothing gross 

dookie: everyone can meet veeder!!!!

Roro: That fucking lizard is ruining my life 

patton-cake: ill be therre in 40 :3 mom giving me a lift 

iNerd: My father said yes, I’ll be there in 40 minutes too. Do you want me to grab any soda on the way?

J-anus: Cream soda, please.

J-anus: I’ll pay you back, promise.

virge: u still owe me 3$

J-anus: What’s your Venmo?

virge: nvm

J-anus: :P 

“Ah, the classic cream soda test,” Remus hums, laying on the couch. His feet are up and over the back, socks pressed into the wall as he dangles his head close to the floor. He’s a little cross-eyed as he stares at his phone, watching the group conversation fizzle out and die without much explosion. 

Janus rolls his eyes, skipping through his Spotify playlist - hooked up to the Bluetooth speaker placed in the middle of the living room. It’s pumping out a steady stream of soft rock, with a couple of Remus’ picks tossed in for good measure. “I just want some.” He picks at his nails, glancing up from his screen, “what’s the cream soda test? You’re just making shit up now.”

“Nah, it’s something you just made up,” Remus pulls himself back up onto the couch, throwing his weight at Janus, landing on his shoulder with a heavy thud. “He’s read the message, if he brings the drink you want, you know he’s actually trying to make amends. If he doesn’t, then you know he doesn’t care all that much.” Remus breathes heavily into Janus’ neck, threatening to lick him. Not outloud. Janus just knows when the other gets a mischievous look in his eye, and times his dart, duck, and dodge accordingly. 

He scoffs, tilting his head away from Remus as the boy lunges to lick him. They don’t mention it. “Right, sure. I don’t even care, Re.” Remus shoots him a skeptical look, running his fingers through matted hair. It’s a deep brown (other than the thick silver patch), straight, and flicking up under his ears. Janus wears a hat everywhere he goes, no matter what, just to avoid styling his own. “I don’t. But I have this weird feeling we’re gonna be seeing them a lot this year. I mean, three years of high school with minimum contact, and now I’m taking your brother on school runs? It’s weird.” He shrugs, taking a gloved hand back to his mouth, picking at the peeling nails with his teeth, and tugging away a fleck of dried skin. Janus tries to take good care of his hands and nails, but they dry out easily, and wearing his fingerless gloves everywhere doesn’t help much. 

“You’re not sly, Dolos.” Remus shrugs, shimmying his shoulders to the music. “It’s gonna be so awkward when they all get here,” he comments under his breath, a smile slowly creeping its way onto his cheeks.

Janus hums in agreement, “don’t remind me. I’m so excited, I’m so happy to be thinking about it.”

“I can’t wait!”

“I’m home!” Roman shouts from the front door as it swings open, clattering against the entranceway wall. He sticks his head through the living room door, finds Remus with his chin on Janus’ shoulder, and Janus staring down at his phone. The music is changing rapidly whilst Remus mutters a stream of, ‘too sad, too slow, too fast, come on Janus just pick a song already!’ 

“Sorry to interrupt whatever the hell is going on here,” he pulls a face, and the two barely glance up at him. “I’m going in the shower, so the top floor bathroom is out of bounds.” 

Janus glances over to the door and looks blankly at Roman. He’s still dressed from the gym, white vest and red basketball shorts - he’s still wearing that stupid chain. His hair is damp from sweat, and he looks… gross? Janus can’t really say. Remus’ touch burns against him, and he knocks him off swiftly. The boy complains. “Alright. I think we’re doing a snack run?”

“I want peanut m&m’s,” Remus enthuses, licking his lips.

“Patton’s allergic to nuts,” Roman interjects, studying the complex look Janus keeps angling his way. 

Remus huffs like this news has devastated him to his very core, “fine, we’ll get peanut butter ones instead.”

“Say that again, slowly,” Roman narrows his eyes, unamused. He runs a hand through his hair, adjusting the headphones that hang around his neck. 

“Ughhhhh, fine, God, pretzels. We’ll ditch m&m’s all together. Mood killer. I want pretzels.” 

“I take it I’m paying?” Janus rolls his head on his shoulders to meet Remus’ eye, who flutters his lashes.

“Yes please,” he fakes kissing Janus on the cheek, eyes still wide. He cackles afterwards and, as always, flicks the brim of his cap. “Let’s go. Prince Pompous has to shower,” Remus sneers, “instead of just smelling like sweat. Dude rolls on deodorant instead of eating it. Everyone knows chewing deodorant makes you smell good from the inside out.” Remus states it like fact, tone indiscernible from the one a teacher would take during class. 

“You barely use deodorant,” Janus fires his rebuttal, rising from his seat and pausing his music. He fishes car keys out his pocket and whistles to get Remus to follow. He slides past Roman without meeting his eye, their hips brush together as he goes, and Janus flinches away as though the touch burns. Strange. He doesn’t mind physical touch, with Remus he rather enjoys it, the “rat-man” is awfully affectionate, always poking or prodding or licking. But whenever Janus comes face to face with the other Royal twin, he finds any sort of touch sparking a match within his belly, using his insides as kindling. And he’d much rather quench that fire while he still can. 

“I eat it all really fast, dude,” is the last thing Roman hears as the two scurry out the house, the door shutting loudly behind them.

He lets out the breath he’d been holding. With the two gone, he feels a little more comfortable stepping into the shower. As he paces up the stairs, he allows his mind to go ever so slightly blanker, pushing all thoughts to the side. He has a step-by-step plan to focus on, something to draw into before the evening descends into unmanageable chaos. Up the stairs, strip, get into the shower (focus super hard on keeping mind blank), wash hair, wash body, wash hair again, towel dry hair, get ready. It’s easy. It’s simple. It’s a step-by-step guide to success. 

Step one and two go by without a hitch, he turns the shower on and steps inside, tilting his face up into the water, letting out a blissed exhale. And then, as he’s massaging rose scented shampoo into his hair, it happens. He wanders. He thinks about Janus flinching at the accidental touch, he thinks about everything he knows about the guy. He realises it’s not a lot. He’s friends with Remus, he has a little brother, and he has… a tumultuous past with Virgil. Some sort of messy, finicky friendship ending argument? Like… a friend breakup. That was how it’d been explained at least. Roman knows very little, Virgil said very little. He’d just sobbed as Logan, Patton, and himself sat crowded around his bed, and occasionally launched into a rant about how Janus was a ‘cunt’ and ‘broke his heart.’ He’d cried into Roman’s shoulder as he’d spoken about the cruel words they’d exchanged, about the fight. And now, as he stands under the incessant spray, shampoo running down his forehead, he realises the details had been very vague. Like Virgil had been holding back the truth, or at least part of it. 

Shampoo dribbles into Roman’s eye and he hisses at the burn, furiously scrubbing at his face, turning to massage his hair quickly. He’s been standing here far too long, he’s going to have to skip his second hair wash. 

“Shit,” he mutters, washing away soap suds after conditioning his hair, and scrubbing his body. He can’t be sure how long he has before his friends arrive, but he dashes from the bathroom, grabbing his phone as he goes.

Three new messages from hole gang.

iNerd: I’ve started walking, I should arrive in the next ten minutes?

iNerd: I have cream soda. @J-anus.

patton-cake: just jumping in the car!!! i brought pyjamas :3

Roro: Okay!! Awesome, I’m just changing now 

Roro: See yall soooon

virge: yah ill be 15 

J-anus: Thanks @iNerd

dookie: we @ store 

dookie: my cart is full as fuuuck rn. im snackmaxxing.

J-anus: My wallet’s going to be empty.

patton-cake: snacks!!!!! (can you get cookies) (and chips)

dookie: duhhhhhh

dookie: and pretzels

virge: oh gross

iNerd: No problem, Janus. 

“Fuck, fuck,” Roman hops around, trying to worm socks onto his feet, and simultaneously pull up his lounge shorts. He’ll be damned if he relaxes in jeans. His hair is still dripping wet, and he desperately tries to dry it as much as he can in his limited time period, wrestling the towel against his head, huffing with effort. 

When the doorbell rings, his hair is still damp, fringe hanging in wet strands in front of his face. But he can’t leave Logan standing outside, so he curses to the wind, straightens his posture and throws on the thin white sweater he’d left over his desk chair, dashing downstairs.

“Hello, Roman. Your hair’s wet,” is the first thing out Logan’s mouth when he pulls the door open, stepping inside with careful practice. 

“Astute as always, Lo,” Roman takes the two bottles from his arms, letting Logan take off his shoes. He places them carefully side by side, pushing his black hair from his face and fixing his glasses as they slide down his nose. “You’re the first one here!”

Logan shoots Roman a short smile. It’s miraculous they’re friends - two people, so incredibly different, on such a fundamental level, and yet they find themselves in quite a beautiful friendship. They had grown up together, so perhaps it does make sense that Logan is the most enthusiastic to start including Roman’s brother in some activities, they’d shared all the same classes and nap times since kindergarten. “I didn’t pick up any food, sorry. I can only carry so much.”

“Eh, I promise, we have more than enough,” Roman shrugs it off as he leads Logan to the living room, placing down the soda bottles on the coffee table. He fumbles with the Bluetooth speaker (Remus’s) and attempts to connect his phone, succeeding upon his third try clicking ‘pair.’ “Mom always stocks up before she vanishes to see her dad, and Remus can never go easy at the store, they’ll come back with enough to feed an army.”

Logan chuckles, fitting into his usual place on the couch - Roman doesn’t stop to consider where Remus and Janus are going to sit, because Logan’s ‘usual’ spot is the same dent in the couch facing the door that the two… stranger ones - tend to park themselves. It’ll be fine.

The doorbell sounds again, and this time the door opens without Roman grabbing it. 

“Hey!” Patton calls out from the hallway, and he can be heard almost tripping over his own feet trying to kick his shoes off without undoing the laces. “Woo,” he exhales, skipping into the room, “I’ll send you a postcard next time!” His backpack bounces off his back as he comes to a stop. He’s clutching a board game under his right arm, left hand outstretched in a wave. “Logan, long time no see!”

“I saw you two hours ago- ah, I understand,” Logan nods, realising his mistake half way through the sentence, “humour.” 

Patton giggles as he drops into the cushions next to Logan, dropping his board game at his feet. “I brought Monopoly! In case we… run out of things to talk about…” His voice tilts into an awkward whisper and he shifts with uncertainty. Roman swallows back a lump in his throat. He’s almost wishing Remus and Janus decide to detour back to… Anywhere else. He prays they don’t show up. Just for simplicity's sake. Perhaps it’s cruel to wish his brother would fuck off once in a while, especially since they’ve pretended the other doesn’t exist within school walls since 6th grade, but Remus is a lot and Roman is a lot. They exhaust each other. 

“Good plan, an escape plan might be more useful.” Roman half jokes, his laugh unconvincing as he hovers in the middle of the room, eyes darting between his friends, and the front door. 

The doorbell does not ring, but there’s a loud knocking. Roman goes to answer.

“Jack Smellington!” Roman exclaims, arms outstretched.

Virgil rolls his eyes, affectionately, and returns the gesture. “Doctor Do-The-Most!”

“Get inside,” Roman nudges him as he passes, has to remind Virgil to take his shoes off, and listens as the others welcome him in. Split second decision, he grabs his keys off the bottom step - and locks the door. 

“Now everyone’s here,” Roman clears his throat, plopping himself on the second couch with Virgil, the two of them at opposite ends of the sofa. The living room is large, a wide TV mounted on the wall across from Roman, and a second couch with Patton and Logan on the joining wall. “Let the hang commence!”

“Everyone is not here, Roman,” Logan pinches the bridge of his nose, a movement Roman is all too familiar with. “Do you always have to be so difficult?”

“Yes!” He points across the room at him, reaching to open a large two litre soda bottle. “Wait, glasses!” He dashes off to the kitchen, scurrying to grab four glasses for the group.

He misses the keys jingling in the lock and the door swinging open, too busy whistling to himself. 

“You dick!”

He doesn’t miss the insult. 

Roman sticks his head into the living room again, and is met with an angered brother, still standing in his boots, glaring back at him. “You tried to lock me out again!”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Roman blinks as innocently as he can manage, holding the cups in his arms. Behind Remus, Janus stands, one hand over his mouth, stifling laughter. In his other hand, he clutches a grocery bag brimming with snacks. 

Remus narrows his eyes, strutting past his twin, “I’m going to kill you one day,” he whispers as he overtakes him, just loud enough for everyone to hear. He pauses in the centre of the room, pointing at Logan and Patton. “You’re in my seat.”

“Oh!” Patton immediately leaps to his feet, “sorry, sorry, sit!”

“Don’t move for him, Patton. You snooze, you lose. He… snoze. So he lost.” Roman stumbles through his sentence, cringing. In the background, he can hear Janus humming as he removes his shoes and advances into the room, bag in hand. He gives a courteous wave to the group, nods politely at Virgil, and seats himself in the spot Roman had previously been sitting in. He doesn’t say anything, just begins to lay out various food items on the table, and fiddles with Remus’ speaker.

“Okay, Janus, I was just sitting there,” Roman points out, ignoring the way Remus hisses hypocrite, nudging Janus up the couch with his foot so he can take the spot with the arm rest. It seems no one notices the wide stare Janus gives his friend as he moves one person closer to Virgil.

“You snooze, you lose,” Janus sneers, looking up at Roman through his lashes, gaze shadowed by his cap. A dagger strikes Roman in the chest, and he grimaces, gritting his teeth as he’s forced to accept defeat and slot himself between Janus and Virgil.

“I can sit on the other couch,” Virgil offers, “I know it’s smaller, but I don’t mind squishing up with Pat and L, three and three.”

“Oh no, Emo Nightmare, you are not abandoning me,” Roman hisses, turning his phone on and hitting shuffle on his ‘Future College Roommates’ playlist. 

Remus squeaks as he starts to remove his shoes, “you’ve said that before to Virgil too, Jan.”

“Shut up,” the boy replies, fishing his phone out, seemingly already checking himself out of the conversation. He sits hunched over his knees, chin in one hand, bag of pretzels in his lap. Remus snatches them away, tongue out. 

The other four remain silent. 

Patton clears his throat, “hey, you brought cookies! Triple chocolate,” he gently rips open the seal, stealing two for himself. Damn, already into second cookie territory. “Awesome,” he mumbles, pursing his lips.

“Well,” Logan starts, “how was everyone’s day?”

“Awful,” Virgil glares around Roman’s torso, looking Janus up and down, before flicking his eyes back to Logan, “narrowly avoided detention. I still don’t understand why I can’t have my hood up. How is that distracting anyone?”

“Your fashion is so horrendous, it’s making people sick. That’s why you need to keep your hood down,” Roman teases, pouring himself some soda and grabbing a cookie. He passes one to Virgil too, in order to ease the insult.

Virgil rolls his eyes, “you should be kicked out of school then, you’ll start another fucking pandemic with your basic ass choices.”

“I had a good day,” Patton smiles, “algebra was okay for once. I sit with Logan’s project partner, he’s a nice guy. We chatted about basketball for a bit, and he showed me a photo of his cat. So, at least an eight out of ten,” he can’t stop his eyes from trailing to Remus, who looks vastly uninterested, busying himself by typing on his phone. He just wants everyone to get along a little better. He wants to ease some animosity. “And now I’m eating a cookie! So, even better! Thanks again, guys.”

“Huh?” Remus glances up, smudging some of his lashline eyeliner when he rubs his eye, “oh yeah,” a smirk makes its way onto his face, “it’s cookie roulette. One in there is poisoned.” 

Patton’s face falls, and then rises again as he giggles, continuing to chew.

Logan watches on as the conversation continues.

“I saw the hot phys ed teacher again today,” Roman muses, getting lost in thought.

J-anus has opened a private chat with dookie.

J-anus: Let’s play 8 ball! [Link]

J-anus: Another round, your majesty?

dookie: prepare to get another ass kicking my liege 

J-anus: Nah, those were just warm up rounds.

dookie: prepare to die

“What about you, Janus, Remus? Did you have satisfactory days?” Logan clears his throat before he speaks, he always does if he’s been silent for a second. He speaks with diction, with purpose, he commands a room - and the two mentioned look up. 

They share a glance.

“It was fine,” Janus drawls, face scrunching up as he pops a pretzel in his mouth. He chews, swallows, watches as people hang on to his words, wondering if the next comment will be sarcastic or sincere. He doesn’t make another comment, just turns back to his game of 8 ball.

“Fine?” Remus exclaims, “dude, it rocked! High before class, a cupcake each for lunch, ditched final period, and now we have a fuckin’ feast. Best day ever,” he grins, a little too wide, a little too toothy - but enthusiastic. His sudden switch from unbothered to involved gives everyone a tad whiplash, but the happiness is appreciated. “Is that Monopoly? We gotta play that later. I wanna watch everyone kill each other.”

J-anus: I won. Told you bitch.

Delivered.

“You have Patton to thank, he owns the set,” Logan smiles. Baby steps. Progress. 

J-anus: Let’s play 8 ball! [Link]

J-anus: Another round, your royal shittiness?

Delivered.

Janus glances up from his phone, tossing his eyeline to the right, where Remus is leaning out of his seat, talking animatedly with Patton about his own Monopoly rules.

“So, no one is the banker which means everyone is the banker. And if you can get away with taking money out of the bank then you keep it, last time I played with Roman and our mom I managed to steal over three thousand in one turn, it was awesome. You should’ve seen his face,” Remus jabs his thumb at Roman, elbow almost colliding with Janus’ nose, “he was sooooo pissed, threw the rulebook at me.”

“And you chewed it like a feral dog,” Roman remembers, grimacing as his brother shoves a grotty finger in his face, cackling. Patton giggles across the room, and Virgil nods along, trying his best to hide his smile. 

Janus sits up against the back of the couch, letting his phone fall into his lap, grabbing another pretzel as he observes the conversation. They all seem to be rather involved in the Monopoly chat, exchanging stories - a lot of which concern Roman being a terrible loser, or Logan being agitated when his carefully constructed game plan went awry.

“Like the time L spent almost an hour of game time on trades,” Virgil giggles, leaning out to grab some chips off the table, “and then landed on my blue hotel four turns in a row and went bankrupt!” 

Roman guffaws beside him, literally slapping his knee. It can’t have been that funny? What sort of game are they playing here? He doesn’t know what to say, just continues his careful examination, eyes narrowed. There must be some ulterior motives. People don’t just chat to someone they don’t like. But everyone seems to be getting along just swimmingly with Remus. And Janus realises, he’s about to lose his only friend. 

“You play many board games, Janus?” Patton cocks his head, and the question sends a jolt through the teens system.

He ponders his reply for a second, silence stretching. “No,” he states slowly, “not much. Not really. No.” Janus clears his throat. Can people just go back to ignoring him? Can they go back to ignoring Remus too?

He’s selfish. He doesn’t want things to change. He wants Remus to stay his friend. It’s the two of them against the world. That shouldn’t change. 

“Have you never played Monopoly?” Logan continues, still directing his questions at Janus, who sighs like answering is going to slowly drain the life out of him.

He shakes his head, chewing on another pretzel. Beside him, Remus jabs him in the side, throwing his arm around Janus’ shoulders. It’s comforting, for a moment, to know that Remus still has his back, but then he sees Roman glance at them strangely, and the fire in his stomach burns a little brighter. 

“We should… play?” Roman suggests, although his tone wavers, unconfident and unconvinced.

“This can only go badly,” Virgil mutters, reaching for the board by Patton’s feet, sliding onto the floor as he goes. “Floor time,” he muses under his breath. “I call dibs on the cat piece.”

“Oooh, I want the dog!” Patton follows Virgil onto the floor, grabbing the game and shuffling around until he’s seated on the large rug, on the other side of the coffee table. Logan and Roman follow after them, Roman filling his glass as he goes. 

Janus glances at Remus and mouths ‘smoke?’ Remus shakes his head slowly, as though he knew Janus would ask that. “Just one game,” he smiles, “it won’t last long.” He rises swiftly, “if I don’t get the penguin I’ll explode!” 

There’s a beat, and Janus is on his feet, legs carrying him to the rug where everyone is sat in a circle around the board. He plants himself next to Logan and Remus. (Clockwise, the circle goes: Janus, Logan, Patton, Virgil, Roman, Remus.) “I don’t mind being the top hat,” he muses, picking up the piece and turning it over in his fingers. It’s cool against his fingertips. 

“I always play the race car, and Lo is always the battleship,” Roman comments to no one in particular, and Patton asks Virgil to pass him another cookie before explaining the rules. 

They’re about seventy five minutes in, and Janus finds himself with a full green set and a red property card. He can see Virgil eyeing it, as he has the other two. He doesn’t know who’s winning, and he can’t see it ending anytime soon. He’s started to tune out Patton and Roman’s heated trade deal, head heavy in his hand as he blows out an exhale. He’s… on edge. Remus won’t stop making little comments alluding to the… past. Janus’ past with Virgil, and it’s setting the two of them off. Every rent collection has a mutter of, “more money you owe me,” from Virgil, or “something else you can hold over my head,” from Janus. And when Janus had placed a house on one of his green properties, and Virgil had landed on it, he’d heard the boy hiss about “just another betrayal. You’re good at those.”

Janus pushes some of his fake money about. He could use a cigarette right now. He passes Remus his phone from the table, and opens a chat.

J-anus: Please can we go for a smoke. I’m dying.

dookie: man its my turn next :^[

J-anus: You’re kidding me, this has been going on forever.

J-anus: They’re good ones too. Shady store had better selection this time.

dookie: l8r babycakes. first daddy has to bankrupt his brother

dookie: also i keep taking 50s from the bank and no ones picked up on it yet

dookie: keep it on the dl

J-anus: I don’t even care.

“My turn!” Remus snatches the dice from Roman’s hands, shaking them in his palm and rolling. 

“Hey! I hadn’t finished making my deal,” Roman complains, crossing his arms across his body.

Remus sticks his tongue out, “we were all gonna wither and die. I’m doing everyone a favour.” he hops his penguin nine spots, passing Go and landing on a brown square. He keeps his mouth shut, he knows Patton owns that property, but he prays the blonde doesn’t notice. “Okay, your turn, Janus!” He shoves the dice into his friend's hands with a pointed look, and Remus’ turn is over.

Logan shoots Remus a quizzical look, but taps the side of his nose and nods, practically telling the boy that his secret is safe. It’s not cheating, it’s an established rule, and Logan can appreciate someone using the system to their advantage. He’s spent the whole evening so far trying to figure Remus out. Janus seemed a little… simpler. Sheltered and sarcastic, surely with some underlying reason. But Remus was an enigma Logan couldn’t quite grasp, a particularly complicated puzzle that made Logan’s fingers itch to solve. His whole… deal was intriguing. His polar opposite personality to Roman, his dress sense, his personal politics, his strange quips. Logan couldn’t help but feel this odd pull in his chest. 

Janus tosses the dice, picks up a chance card and sighs. “Get out of jail free, sweet,” he tucks the card under his fake money and hands Virgil 200 as well, “also give me a house.”

Virgil wrinkles his nose up, rolling his eyes. “I remember when you used to say you’d give me a house one day,” he spits, tossing the green piece at Janus, who flinches.

“I beg your pardon?” The room goes cold. A thousand thoughts crash to a screeching halt in Janus’ mind, crumbling under the tension. An anger licks at his pupils, bubbling below the surface.

Virgil scowls, “you heard me,” he insists. “Don’t you remember, Jan? Or do you tell so many lies you can't remember them all?”

“That’s fucking rich coming from you,” Janus hisses back, “are you trying to say I broke promises? Because that’s hilarious.” He adjusts a house on his property, fingers pushing the piece down harshly on the board, it kilts up and the game pieces shift.

Virgil scoffs, “rich? Me?” He leans over the board, “you're the biggest fucking liar I know.”

“Right!” Janus slams his hands down on the board, and the pieces topple over. “If we're doing this, let's do this. You, me, outside.” He jabs his thumb towards the living room door and rises to his feet, Virgil following hot on his heels. The squabbling continues out into the hallway, and the remaining four hear the front door slam as they exit out into the yard.

dookie has opened a private chat with J-anus .

dookie: wat was that

dookie: that was 1. awesome 

dookie: but 2. scary?????

dookie: wots happen

Delivered

Remus picks up the dice, ignoring the shady atmosphere sitting thick upon everyone's shoulders. “It’s your go,” he beams, sliding them along to Logan before chomping down on another cookie. Logan stares at him blankly. Bizarre.

“You’re joking right?” Roman rolls his head around on his shoulders, disturbed and perturbed. “I mean - you cannot be that dense!” He knocks the dice away, and dismissively continues, looking down at his pile of fake cash, “everyone just count your money so we can figure out who won.”

“Roman! Are you serious?” Patton exclaims, shaking his head. “I’m going to check on them,” he scrambles to his feet, fleeing from the room. 

Roman groans and leans back, head hitting the coffee table with a thump. What a disaster. “This was a terrible idea.” He groans, covering his eyes with his hands, mellowing in self pity. “Re, our groups will never get along.”

“Not sure if you can call my duo a group, we’re more of a… married couple, soulmates, best friends, ride or die, ancient beings that evolved through time together type deal,” Remus muses. Logan focuses on his face, notes the arches of his eyebrows, and his blue-ish, grey-ish eyeshadow. He takes careful mental snapshots of smudged eyeliner, of the salt around his mouth, of all his little quirks. The sentiment is oddly romantic, and it warms Logan pleasantly from the inside out to know that beyond all the crazy oddities, Remus truly cares for those close to him. Something inside of Logan lights up, something inside of him softens, and a gentle pink fuzz rises on his cheeks. Not enough to be noticed, but enough for now. 

Logan quirks an eyebrow curiously. “Remus, do you know what Virgil could’ve meant with his whole ‘you promised me a house one day’ comment?” He slides along the rug closer to the Royal twin, watching Roman lament under his breath with a careful eye.

Remus barely finishes his chewing before he answers, “oh of course I do,” he chuckles, “but that’s a secret I’ll never tell. I try not to get in the middle of their fights, I prefer to watch anyway,” he winks, “and they fight like a divorced couple struggling with custody. I’m the child in this scenario.”

The room is still aside from Logan’s little ‘hmm’, followed by a nosy, “so who’s the mother in this situation?”

“Well it’d be wrong to call Virgil ‘daddy’ even if he is more fatherly… That’s a nickname for Janus after all,” Remus nods slowly, considering and weighing the question. “All I’m saying, is whatever Virgil has told you happened - isn’t entirely true,” he licks his lips, and Logan leans back, keeping a careful eye on Remus. There’s a strange feeling in his fingertips, his eyes wide. God that boy is so, so , weird… Logan kind of likes it. He’s just so strange, it’s wildly endearing. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Roman darts upwards at the first hint of gossip or information, desperate to know more, and groans when his brother shrugs.

“I told you, I can’t say.”

iNerd has opened a private chat with patton-cake.

iNerd: Is everything okay out there, Patton?

iNerd: I think when everyone comes back inside, we should have a proper discussion.

patton-cake: i dont think everyone will be coming back inside :((( 

patton-cake: janus just left 

iNerd: Oh dear.

“Janus left,” Logan muses outloud, and Remus turns his head.

Five new messages from J-anus.

J-anus: Fuck everything man

J-anus: I can’t fucking put up with this guy anymore

J-anus: Sorry I’m just running away but I can’t spend another second in that house

J-anus: I left my fucking shoes and everythign will you drop them off at some point please

dookie: omw where u going

J-anus: Home.

dookie: ok cuming

Remus stands to leave. “Where are you going?” Logan calls after him as he struggles with his boots.

“Jan left his shoes,” he huffs. “Roman, can you feed Veeder for me?”

He doesn’t wait for a reply, just scurries away as fast as he can, ignoring Patton and Virgil sitting huddled on the front step for the most part. The most he does is shout a goodbye at Patton, as he scrambles down the street, towards his friend's house. 

“Well, that was a disaster.” Logan muses from inside, slowly packing up Monopoly.

“Yeah!” Roman exclaims, clutching fistfalls of fake 50$ notes, “that bitch was cheating!”  

Chapter Text

patton-cake has opened a private chat with virge .

patton-cake: hey virgil, are you feeling any better today?

patton-cake: ro, lo and i are going to the mall today if you want to join us?

patton-cake: no pressure though <3 but i hope youre doing okay, missing you 

virge: hey pat

virge: what time the mall

patton-cake: we’re meeting outside of subway at 1pm :)

virge: ok awesome

virge: ill be there

virge: feeling a bit better btw thanks 

virge: soz for crying on ur shoulder on friday lol

patton-cake: you can cry on my shoulder anytime buddy ily

virge: <3

New messages in hole gang.

dookie: dead gc

dookie: when we doin monopoly round 2

Roro: Never…?

dookie: aw :^[

iNerd: I’d be happy to play Monopoly with you again, Remus. Or some other game.

dookie: yay! 

Roro: ??????

Roro: Are you serious???

iNerd: As always, yes. 

Roro has opened a private chat with iNerd.

Roro: What are you doing Logan

Roro: You saw what Janus did to Virgil like. Two days ago right???

Roro: Why are you offering to hang out again???

iNerd: First of all, I offered to hang out with Remus again, I never said anything about Janus, nor Virgil. I for one find your brother quite enjoyable, and I’m fascinated by him. The way his brain works is very interesting. Secondly, let’s not pretend that Janus was entirely antagonistic, the insults very much went both ways - and we never got Janus’ side of the story. Yes, Virgil was upset, but from Patton’s testimony, Janus clearly was as well, he ran off. I’m not here to debate who’s right, or who’s wrong, I’m just attempting to make a new friend.

Roro: Im not reading all that Logan

Roro: You want to study my brother like some science experiment????

iNerd: That’s not what I’m saying, no. I just want to get to know him better. I’ve been around him since we were all small children, is it so wrong to want to be his friend?

Roro: Uhhhh yes??? Dude I cannot believe this 

Roro: You’re like. Betraying us all 

iNerd: That’s a wild exaggeration. I think you should consider this rationally.

Roro: Whatever dude

Roro: See you at the mall

iNerd: Can your mother still give me a ride?

Roro: No

iNerd: Ah, okay. 

iNerd: I’ll take the bus.

J-anus has opened a private chat with patton-cake.

J-anus has changed their nickname to J.

J: Hi, Patton.

J: I just want to apologize for my outburst.

J: So.

J: Sorry.

patton-cake: hey janus!! you dont have to apologise to me

patton-cake: really its virgil you should be sorry to haha

patton-cake: and he should probssss apologize to you too

patton-cake: what happened with you two?

patton-cake: sorry if thats invasive!!!! there’s just so much anger :((( 

J is typing…

Delivered.

J is typing…

patton-cake: oh goodness im sorry if ive made you uncomfortable 

patton-cake has opened a private chat with iNerd.

patton-cake: a little bit worried!!

iNerd: Is everything alright, Patton?

patton-cake: so

patton-cake: janus messaged me to apologize?? and i said oh no its fine, but you and virgil should both apologize to each other!!!

patton-cake: and then i asked what happened between them

patton-cake: and hes been typing for a WHILE

patton-cake: hold on

patton-cake: [one attachment: screenshot]

iNerd: Ah, I see.

iNerd: That is a little worrisome. I wonder what he's going to say.

iNerd: I can't deny I am curious about those two. It's become very apparent we haven't received the full story.

patton-cake: i knowwww i dont know what to do i need advice

patton-cake: i want everyone to get along but also janus and remus make me so nervous 

iNerd: Are you intimidated by them?

patton-cake: i dont think its intimidation??? i think im uneasy or wary or something like that???

iNerd: I can understand that. 

iNerd: I think all our lives would be easier if we could at least be able to see them in groups. I don't think we have to become their best friends, or see them one on one all the time. But that is Roman’s family. Or at least Remus is.

iNerd: Maybe I see it differently since I grew up with Roman and Remus.

patton-cake: maybeeee :(((

patton-cake: he sent a message oh godddd lo what do i do

iNerd: Respond, and keep me updated.

patton-cake: what should i sayyyyyy

iNerd: You’ll figure it out, Pat. You’re good at this stuff, always remember that.

patton-cake has opened a private chat with J.

J: It's complicated.

J: I don't know what Virgil has told you.

J: I don't know how much he has told you.

J: I don't know how much of it is true, and I don't know how much of it is the lies we both tell.

J: So, I’m not sure what I can tell you.

J: Sorry.

patton-cake: i get that!!!

patton-cake: did you have like a massive fight? 

J: Something like that.

patton-cake: you two used to be really close huh?

J: You could say, yes. 

J: Extremely close.

patton-cake: like best friends?

J: Sort of.

Delivered.

patton-cake has opened a private chat with iNerd.

patton-cake: [two attachments: screenshots]

patton-cake: sort of best friends but extremely close?

iNerd: Hm.

iNerd: I'm not sure what to make of this.

patton-cake: lo you don't think 

patton-cake: i mean

patton-cake: do you think they.. dated?

iNerd: Hm. 

iNerd: Maybe.

iNerd: It would explain the vitriol. If they're bitter exes.

iNerd: Janus has said he isn't gay though.

patton-cake: is he lying?

iNerd: Perhaps. Like a sarcastic sort of quip? Like how some queer people make jokes about being homophobic or being disgusted by gay people, because it's so obvious that they themselves are queer?

patton-cake: exactly!!! except im not sure if its super obvious hes gay???? hes never said he is

iNerd: We've never really spoken to him before this past week.

patton-cake: this is also true 

patton-cake: maybe we shouldn't speculate :(( it seems super personal

iNerd: It is effecting us now, however. Take Monopoly night.

patton-cake: isn't it affecting 

iNerd: Pardon?

patton-cake: its affecting us now. not effecting 

iNerd: I…

iNerd: Oh Christ.

patton-cake: awwwww lolooooo you ARE human!!!!

iNerd: That's enough. That's quite enough.

iNerd: All I'm saying is it's having an impact on our lives, so is it so wrong to speculate?

patton-cake: yes!!! its rude!!!!

patton-cake: i should probably respond to janus ive left him on read oopsie daisy

patton-cake has opened a private chat with J.

patton-cake: it sounds super complicated, im sorry :(((

J: It's alright, Patton. I understand why you asked.

J: We have a lot of history, that's all.

J: It's kind of between Virgil and I.

J: And Remus I suppose.

patton-cake: remus?

J: He witnessed everything after all.

J: It was us three, our trio. 

patton-cake: so the fight was between all three of you?

J: Not exactly.

J: Remus just knows the most complete version of the story.

J: But I guess even he doesn't know everything.

J: It's just really complicated, okay?

J: Let's drop it.

J: All I wanted to do was apologize for making things awkward.

patton-cake: okey dokey artichokey! thats okay :))

J: I'll think about saying sorry to Virgil.

J: Whenever I next see him.

J: Which is hopefully never.

patton-cake: whenever you feel most comfortable!

iNerd has opened a private chat with patton-cake. 

iNerd: Any updates?

patton-cake: [three attachments: screenshots]

patton-cake: all this gossiping is making my stomach hurt 

iNerd: Sorry, Patton.

iNerd: I’m too curious for my own good sometimes. We can stop talking about this if it's making you feel bad.

iNerd: Maybe I should talk to Remus, get to the bottom of this.

patton-cake: i really dont know if you should

patton-cake: virgil didn't tell us everything, janus won't tell us anything. isn't it kiiiiinda clear they dont want anyone knowing?

iNerd: I think everything coming to the surface would lay a good foundation to help the two of them move on from whatever has troubled them.

patton-cake: i just think you miiiiight be treating people and their lives like a puzzle to solve? just a little bit

iNerd: Don't be silly, Patton. I'm deducting the truth.

iNerd: We've all been deceived, don't you want the truth?

patton-cake: of course i do!!! i just dont think this is the /right/ way to do it

iNerd: What way do you suggest?

patton-cake: let them tell us when theyre comfortable?

iNerd: And when will that be? Virgil has been crying about this since the end of Sophomore year. 

iNerd: They've been at each other's throats for too long, and none of us know exactly why.

patton-cake: is it any of our business though?

iNerd: I believe so, yes. We're becoming more involved day by day.

iNerd: I think we're owed the truth.

patton-cake: i dont know if we are, lo

iNerd: We are.

patton-cake: i cant stop you can i?

iNerd: I don't see why you would try? I want the truth, for everyone? This benefits everyone?

patton-cake: my stomach hurts

patton-cake: ill see you at the mall, logan.

Logan exhales, hunched over the breakfast table in his small home. He’s been sitting here for a few hours now, empty plate by his side, notes and study material spread out in front of him. Away in the living room his father is watching the highlights from the previous night's baseball game, sipping on his second coffee of the day. The clock ticks steadily onwards, and the time on the oven reads 11:57. Logan pushes his pen around on the table absently, attempting to focus his mind on equations and formulas. He’d been trying to squeeze in some extra studying before the scheduled hangout, yet his endeavour was fruitless. His workbook remains blank, his laptop has long since sent itself to sleep, and he’s spent almost the entire morning on his phone. He doesn’t know why everyone is so… angry with him? He could almost understand Roman, the two have been friends for a long time, he can see why maybe he would dislike a disruption to the status quo. But in the same thought, Logan can’t wrap his head around the reaction. A betrayal? He thinks that’s a bit… far. A bit farfetched. 

But Patton? Patton seems genuinely upset with him, like they disagree on a fundamental level here.

Logan sighs into his hands, taking his glasses off to rub over his eyes, trying to convince himself everything will be okay. The group have been through their fair share of arguments and disagreements, and they always come out on the other side doing just fine. It’ll work itself out, or Logan will find a way to make it work. He can, he always does.

The clock ticks over to 12pm. The meeting is scheduled in an hour, perhaps he should just head off now? He could use the distraction, he’s losing his mind a little bit, sat around the rounded dining table, trying to create a solution to his problems. Perhaps a stroll around the mall can help him collect his thoughts, and the walls here feel a tad suffocating. He feels like he's drowning, and the more he realises it, the harder it gets to breathe. He's going to leave. 

“I’m going to head off now,” Logan calls from his seat at the table, slipping his glasses back up his nose. His dad looks up from the highlight reel just enough to nod and tell him to stay safe. Logan pats his pockets to make sure he has everything on the way out, keys, phone, earbuds, wallet. He grabs a thin navy blue coat from the rail as he steps out the front door — and then he’s off, starting down the road, one foot in front of the other, making his way towards the bus stop. There’s an unusual chill in the air, an uncharacteristic cold for Florida and his black hair shifts in the wind as he walks. 

As he waits at the bus stop, leaning against the bench, Logan slips his earbuds in, scrolling lazily through his Spotify for something to listen to. He clicks onto a playlist Roman had made for him a few years ago and hits shuffle, letting the music wash over him. It’s not a collection of songs he would’ve chosen for himself, and Roman had reiterated to him multiple times (both in person and over text) that the ‘love songs’ on the playlist were purely platonic, but that he truly did feel love for Logan. Which brought a tiny smile to Logan’s face. He’s never been the greatest with expressing his emotions, and it wasn’t entirely intentional — no matter what he felt on the inside, it just never seemed to shine through. But he closes his eyes as he listens, hoping that today won’t be too awkward. He doesn’t enjoy confrontation, at least not unmoderated confrontation. Maybe if every angered or fuelled conversation could be handled like a debate, he’d fare better in life. 

Logan glances up as his bus pulls into the stop. He waits for a mother and her child to clamber out, the woman pulling her child by the wrist as her toddler screams nonsense. She shoots him an apologetic look and he bobs his head in a polite nod, stepping on and paying before taking his seat. Logan presses the side of his head against the window as the transport pulls off, the rattling of the glass comforting and cool against his skin. 

This playlist has a lot of Lucy Dacus on it. 

Logan spends his journey there, head on the window, letting the music carry him to his destination, occasionally humming under his breath. He doesn’t check his phone as he goes, too afraid to see who’s annoyed at him now, too worried that he’s been quietly uninvited. It’s not like him to be anxious, he’s usually a rock, a beacon of logical thinking and rationality. He hates this feeling. 

-

“Okay, thank you for your time,” Janus sighs, taking his printed CV back from the Barnes and Noble manager, hanging his head in shame as he approaches Remus, who’s been waiting enthusiastically by the entrance. He has one hand in a pocket, the other gripping onto the side of his electric green belt like his life depends on it. He rocks back and forth on his heels, a hyperactive dog waiting to be told to fetch, and he grins toothily as his friend retreats towards him.

“How’d it go?” Remus questions, not taking much note of Janus’ posture, or his overall demeanour. He slings an arm around Janus’ shoulder, wrinkling his grey shirt as he goes. Who wears a button up to the mall? Remus will always be perpetually confused by his friends' clothing choices. (And Janus will feel the exact same about Remus.)

Janus huffs, clutching the print out a little harder. “Oh great,” he hisses, casting a deadly glare over his shoulder, where the manager stood just a few seconds ago. “They’re not hiring,” he groans and tilts his head back. “I’m a lost cause.”

Remus nods solemnly, “I could’ve told you that for free, bud,” he pinches Janus’ cheek. “Wanna go throw rocks at cars in the parking lot?” 

Janus slowly looks at him, mouth starting to open with a rebuttal but nothing comes out. “No, I absolutely do not want to do that,” he shakes his head. 

“We could push someone over, or find a kid and wait for them to fall, that always cheers me up,” Remus continues, bringing his thumb up to his mouth to chew. He blinks lined eyes innocently, as though his suggestion is the most normal thing in the world.

“You’re so fucking weird,” Janus finally shoots back. He doesn’t say no however.

“Remus?” A voice picks up from behind them, and the two turn away from the store to find where it came from. “Oh, and Janus too, how nice.” The comment is monotone, and Janus can’t quite figure out if the person is disappointed or not.

Remus lights up, “hey, Logan!” He cheers, detaching himself from Janus for just a moment, lunging his arm out for a handshake. What? Why? “Hey, thanks for covering my ass in Monopoly. So I didn’t have to pay Patton, you’re a real one.”

Logan shrugs it off, water off a ducks back, and turns a careful eye to Janus, hunched over, clutching a crumpled piece of paper, looking completely and utterly defeated. “Is everything alright with… you two?” He clears his throat, this could be his in to figuring out more.

Janus shakes his head slowly. 

“Is it Virgil?” Logan hums out the question. Perfect delivery.

“What the fuck? No!” Janus whips his head up, shooting Logan a dangerous glare, daggers firing into the teen. “I just- I'm trying to get a job and nowhere will take me.” He pinches his nose, Remus giggling beside him.

Logan lets out a soft ‘ahh’, that does make sense.

“We're gonna try Spencers next,” Remus grins wickedly, pushing his tongue into the side of his cheek, lewdly. Logan goes ever so slightly pink at the gesture. Something simmers in his lower back. A little spark of energy runs up his spine and his fingers twitch.

Janus nods, “I've been putting off. I know a guy who knows a girl who works there. If they reject me I'll know I'm officially unhireable,” he gestures to the left side of his face, “if anywhere will accept this it's Spencers.”

“Yeah!” Remus cheers, paying no mind to the employees of Barnes and Noble watching them nervously. “So what if Hollister, American Eagle, Buffalo Wild Wings, and Barnes and Noble said no! You, my dear daddy, are totally gonna get a job.” 

Janus elbows Remus in the stomach and he keels over, “thanks, man.”

Logan fiddles with his fingers, pulling at the zipper on his coat. 

“So what's the skinny, iNerd?” Remus chokes out, rubbing at his skin. His eyebags look particularly prominent this day, they make his irises look even darker. Logan stores that away in case he ever needs it… for whatever reason. “What brings you to a dying mall? Wanna watch a toddler fall over?”

Logan hardly misses Janus hiss, ‘what is your obsession with that?’ as he takes his fingers away from his jacket, suddenly unsure what to do with his hands under the intense gaze of the other Royal twin. 

“Ah, well,” he clears his throat, “I'm supposed to be meeting Roman, Patton and Virgil in about-” he checks his watch “-fifty minutes. But I was stifled at home, so I've chosen to get here earlier.”

“That's the only reason you're here early?” Janus perks up, eyes narrowing. He looks… serpent-like. His nostrils flare, eyebrows tighten curiously, as though he's sensed prey, sensed weakness.

Logan blinks, feeling awfully similar to a startled mouse. “Well… yes. Of course.”

Janus shakes his head. “I know a lie when I hear one,” Remus directs his thumb to his friend as though to say he's right. “Why else are you here so dramatically early? If you're meant to meet fifty minutes from now, that would be 1pm. Roman will be fashionably late, which means at least 1.15pm for the actual meeting time. And his mom would always give you a ride, obviously, so you're really ridiculously early. Without Roman. So you got the bus. Why?” Janus gasps, “what did you do?” His face takes on a sly grin, pleased at the deduction, and at the idea that Logan could break a rule. Do something wrong. Mess up. Make a mistake.

Logan stands for a moment, flabbergasted. “I… may have upset a few people without intending to,” he clears his throat. “Perhaps we should… sit down and I can-”

“Give us the Lo-Down!” Remus jumps in, throwing his arms in the air. One lands around Janus, the other around Logan's shoulder. “Let's go Buffalo. Janus tried applying and now I'm craving.” He licks his lips to prove his point, facing Logan. Another shot of electricity rushes through his nerves, hands tingling. A sudden burst of adrenaline hits his system at the hand on his arm, slung around like it's no big deal. When it most certainly is a big deal. Why, however, Logan can't be certain. This is not a feeling he's used to experiencing.

He's so taken aback he doesn't have the brain power to reject the interjection, nor the stupid pun, nor deny the lunch offer. He's meant to be getting lunch with his friend group, and now here he goes, dragged off by the exact reason two of three are pissed at him. He'll tell himself it's just for interrogation purposes. Simply research. He'll be lying, but he's not aware of that yet.

Logan watches, ever so slightly grossed out (but also severely endeared?), as Remus rips into his food ferociously. “You eat like a wild animal,” he points out, externally, and sips his water. He chews on a couple fries, hoping they split this based on what they’re eating, and not evenly. Because Remus owes a whole lot more than anyone else. Logan spies as Janus picks at his food, pulling it into little pieces before eating.

“Yeah,” Remus responds, mouth full, “this place has wild in the title. If anything, I’m following the social standard set out!” He swallows harshly.

“So, Logan,” Janus starts, turning off his phone where he’d presumably been texting someone, and pausing to gulp back some of his soda, “what’s been going on? How’d you piss everyone off?” He grins wickedly, completely unable to mask the glee this situation seems to be bringing to him. 

Logan clears his throat, he isn’t sure why he hadn’t expected Janus to just come out with it. He’d been anticipating some sarcastic comment, or a little drawn out explanation. But no, straight into it. “Well, ugh, it’s a complex situation.”

“Ah! No,” Remus holds up a finger, swallowing loudly around his mouthful, “any situation involving my brother cannot be complicated, he’s a very simple man.” He gulps back his Dr Pepper. His eyes never leave Logan, not even as he pulls the straw into his mouth awkwardly.

Logan shakes his head sadly, shifting with discomfort in his wooden seat. Really, he’d wanted to conduct an interrogation, use skills of deduction and get to the bottom of the Janus-Virgil situation. This is a very dramatic flip of the dynamic he’d been prepping for. “I guess. It started with Monopoly night. Obvious disaster,” Janus looks down at his plate as Logan continues, yet Remus stares, unblinking, into Logan’s soul. He feels oddly naked this way, like he’s been stripped bare and laid out for examination. Less sexual more… surgical. And yet something in him still canters under the scrutiny, his words getting caught in his throat for a moment. What on earth is happening? “And then you, Remus, suggested a second go. As you know, I agreed to this which very much upset Roman. He thinks I’m betraying everyone, like I’m turning to some kind of enemy,” he pauses to eat some more of his lunch, “but I don’t think of you two like that. Our group's entire view of you both is based on Roman’s sibling rivalry and a story from Virgil that’s utterly full of holes.”

Remus nods, engaged. Janus moves the hat on his head around a little, chin resting on his hand as he leans on the table. Logan realises he has all of their attention, they’re enraptured. Who knew the way to get them to settle down was to spoon feed them some tabloid-esque, high school drama? 

“So, Roman thinks I’m betraying the group by wanting to include the two of you more,” Logan shrugs, “whatever. He’ll get over it eventually, he always does. But then Patton sends me a message, telling me about your apology to him, Janus.” The aforementioned muses aloud, humming and nodding, confirming he did, in fact, text Patton. “He’s asking me for advice, asking what he should say, the usual brainstorming session for us. And then he mentions that you would apologise to Virgil should you ever see him again, but you hope not to see him ever again. So we both start speculating, theorising about your past — which I’ll say, I’m sort of sorry for? Saying this out loud makes it sound like we were taking extensive notes. I assure you, I’m just naturally curious.”

This receives no response, Remus merely turns his hand over, encouraging Logan to continue. He chugs the rest of his drink furiously through the straw, it makes a gargled noise, and he immediately leans towards Janus, who pushes his glass towards the boy without comment.

“Anyway, I suggest that we ask you and Virgil about it, since it is actually affecting us now. Re; game night. And Patton thinks this is wrong, it’s none of our business, we shouldn’t get involved. The usual once again. I keep pushing, saying I’ll just ask, because I’m not really afraid to just ask. And Patton still doesn’t like this. He says his stomach’s starting to hurt from this gossiping, and then he states that he’ll just ‘see me at the mall,’ with a period at the end, which he only does if he’s upset or annoyed.” Logan sighs, rubbing his nose. “So, I’ve angered a few people in the space of a couple hours?”

“Pfft, not even close to my record, I can enrage a thousand people in mere seconds,” Remus interjects, grinning. He reaches across the table, and for a moment it looks as though he’s about to take Logan’s hand, comfortingly. Logan doesn’t move, he can’t. Remus’ fingers skim across the back of his palm, leaving a trail of sharp electricity in their wake, before dipping into Logan’s food, stealing a fry. Logan tries to speak, tries to respond, yet all he can muster is opening and closing his mouth a few times, brain short-circuiting, failing him in this moment. 

Janus exhales, a heavy breath that takes all the air from his lungs as he visibly crumples in on himself. “Well aren’t they all just lovely,” he drawls, “they sound so understanding.” He chuckles, finishing off his plate. “For the record, Logan, I don’t blame you for being curious. It’s just very complicated.”

“I’m very smart,” Logan proceeds with caution, his mouth suddenly very dry. He takes another drink of water, chews his food, waits for a reply.

Janus laughs at that, breathily, nodding. “Academically, yes. Socially… eh?”

Logan considers that. It is true. “I just think… In all honesty? I believe I deserve to know. I, at the very least, actually want the truth. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt. So, please, answer just one question for me?”

The boy before him shrugs, pushing some more of his food around, picking at it a little more as he contemplates. “Okay. One question. I’ll answer truthfully. Scouts honour, or whatever.”

Logan perks up almost instantly, glowing. He has to cool it down lest he look too excited. He does not look too excited. Once more, he vastly overassumes how expressive his face is. “Were you and Virgil a couple? In the past?”

Remus finally tears his eyes from Logan, spinning in his seat to face Janus, who’s gone very pale. The teen touches his skin, traces around the birthmark on his eye, fiddles with his free hand. He lets out a long breath, shaking his head, squeezing his eyes closed. Finally, he lets out a choked:

“Yes.”

Logan could cheer. He could punch the air. He could blow up some balloons and then pop them just for the sake of it. Because goddamn it! He was right!  

Instead he merely nods, hiding his small smile with a sip of water. In his mind, he’s sprinting in excited circles. He’s a fucking genius!  

Janus looks as though he’s in physical pain, almost as though it took every ounce of his energy not to lie in that moment. An excellent display of self control. He chews on his lip. 

“We broke up over a year ago now, as you know. It was a whole thing . I don’t really want to talk about it. I’m totally over him, you should know that. I don’t miss being with him, or dating him, or anything like that. I’m over him. I’m just not over it.” Janus gives his brief explanation. But Logan doesn’t need any of that because he was right. He was right and that’s sort of all that really matters right now. Later on, when he’s laying in bed, trying to think of anything that isn’t Remus’ painted nails skittering over his skin, he’ll bolt upright and realise the magnitude this adds to the dynamic of his entire group of people, and the layers this piles onto Virgil and Janus’ past, and he won’t sleep for thinking about it. But for right now he just revels in being correct.

Logan nods, as though he understands. He’s only ever dated one person. That he actually liked at least. There was an international exchange student who came to their high school just before Virgil moved there in freshman year. He had nice eyes and messy hair, and he spoke with a candance and flair for life that left a younger Logan swooning. And before that he had a kindergarten girlfriend, but that doesn’t count. “So,” he approaches gently, “you are gay?”

Janus crinkles his nose up, shrugging. “I dunno. Probably?” He ponders a moment longer, swirling his wrist in the air. His fingers dance by his ear as he thinks. “I mean, I like guys. Pretty much exclusively. But, there’s some other feelings there that I’m too…” He trails off. Too lazy to confront? Too scared to think about? “That I’ve just not figured out yet. Maybe queer is a better term in general for someone like me. Not really sure about it yet. Putting a pin in it for the time being. Y’know?” 

Logan can’t help but be curious. Other feelings? About what? Janus is a strange one, for sure. He has (and Logan hates to say it) a quiet queer ‘energy’ about him, if that’s even a thing. But Logan supposes the teen is right, there’s something else. He wonders if Janus has something simmering under the surface, beyond the simple labels of ‘gay’ or ‘straight.’ Perhaps there’s more depth to them than Logan had first considered.

“Ahhh, okay. I get it,” Logan finishes his food, offering his final fry to Remus without even thinking, “so at the very least, you hold some attraction towards males. Well, obviously in light of our conversation it’s clear. But even still… you’re sort of an enigma.”

Janus flicks his nails. “I like to keep people on their toes.”

Remus nods enthusiastically, wolfing down the last of Logan’s food, and stealing the last piece of Janus’ too. “Okay, let’s go,” he starts to stand, grabbing his things rapidly. He snatches his phone off the table and runs a hand through his hair. “C’mon, c’mon, door!”

“We haven’t paid yet,” Logan reminds him, staying firmly in his seat.

“He does this every time,” Janus whispers across the table. “Remus, today will not be the day we dine and dash, sorry,” he muses, “c’mere boy, come on, sit.” Janus snaps his fingers and points back down at Remus’ chair, expression stern and commanding. It’s exactly how you’d train a dog. 

Dutifully, Remus follows, huffing. He looks so disappointed, eyebrows knit tight together as he strops in his seat, arms folded over his chest. “Fine,” he mutters, kicking his boots off the ground. Logan feels his heart pulse. Even like this, he’s so weirdly endearing. Sure, he eats like a maniac, he has absolutely zero filter, he’s scraping through school by the skin of his teeth and he acts like a rabid animal — but there’s more to him, Logan can tell. He’s fiercely loyal, set in his ‘morals’ (even if they can be a bit… shaky, leaning towards illegal at times). He encourages chaos and lives for fun, he’s fun. He’s an absolute freak. But he’s cute. 

Oh no. 

Logan casts that from his mind as swiftly as possible. He cannot be dealing with that on top of everything else right now. Roman is already throwing a hissy fit over Logan merely suggesting they include his brother in more activities. If Logan were to… actively think… fondly of Remus, then he’s not sure that’s something Roman could get over. He loves the boy to death, but he tends to take things like a personal attack. 

Logan offers Janus cash (which he takes) and the boy taps his card, paying for Remus without question in one movement. Remus promises to pay Janus back, who simply rolls his eyes, ruffling his friend’s hair. He shakes his head, “just buy me lunch on Monday.” Remus nods as though this is a fair deal and rises again.

“C’mon, we’re going Spencers. I wanna play with dildos,” he grins. “Oh, also so Janus can apply.” The afterthought is tacked on dismissively, punctuated with a flick of his wrist, shaking his hand in the air. 

Logan clears his throat. “I should probably find the people I’m meant to be here with,” he reaches for his phone, ready to check his notifications, when Remus grabs him by the shoulder, starting to haul him from his seat. And his texts go forgotten as a red heat rises across his cheeks.

“Nuh uh, nerd boy! Not getting away that easily! C’mon, we’re on a fucking adventure now,” his teeth seem sharp, and Logan doesn’t hate that. He just slips his phone back into his pocket and barely manages to grasp his coat as Remus drags him away, tugs him a little further into his gravitational pull, and throws him ever so slightly into insanity. 

New messages in hole gang.

Roro: Logan where the fuck are you

Roro: You’re later than I am

patton-cake: logaaaaan we’re waiting outside subway for youuuu

patton-cake: im hungryyyyy hurryyyyyy

virge: dude wya

virge: are u okay???

Roro: Logan I swear to all that is queer 

Roro: I will find you where are you

Roro: Are you at home???

Roro: Is it cause I said I wouldn’t give you a lift???

patton-cake: logaaaaaaaaaaaan im so hungry dont let me starve :((( 

virge: dude we’re going in for lunch

virge: we’ll buy ur usual sandwich for u

Roro: Just give us an ETA?

Roro: Seriously I’m getting worried where are you???

patton-cake: [one attachment]

patton-cake: i will eat your sandwich if you’re not careful….

virge: L??? man whats wrong???

virge: roman says hes sorry for earlier if thats the issue

patton-cake: im sorry tooooooo

J: Damn, I wonder where he could be.

Roro: Oh stay out of this freak

patton-cake: roman :(( dont be mean

virge: [eyeroll]

J: :) 

Roro: Logan listen man I’m sorry or whatever. Maybe you’re just tryna be nice and inclusive or whatever 

patton-cake: im sorry if i made you feel bad!

patton-cake: we miss you lo :(( 

virge: yeah man we’re worried as fuck rn

virge: where are you???????????

virge: are you alive

virge: did u get hit by a car while walking or stabbed on the bus or robbed or 

virge: man just read the messages at least

virge: its not like u to do this

virge: wya????

virge has opened a private chat with iNerd.

virge: dude ur really scarrng me

virge: r u alive 

virge: where r u

virge: cmon man plaese

Delivered.

patton-cake has opened a private chat with iNerd.

patton-cake: holding your lunch for you :( 

patton-cake: are you okay?

patton-cake: did i upset you and that’s why you’re not coming?

patton-cake: did you stay up studying and that’s why you’re not here? are you sleeping?

patton-cake: we’re worried about you 

patton-cake: lolo please where are you?

patton-cake: dont leave me on delivered :( 

Delivered.

Roro has opened a private chat with iNerd.

One missed call.

Roro: Logan where are you dude

Two missed calls.

Roro: You never just drop out of a meet without warning

Roro: Are you okay??

Roro: I’m gonna call your dad, see if you’re at home

Seven missed calls.

Roro: Where the fuck are you Logan you’re really scaring me

Roro: Your dad said you left the house at 12

Roro: Im sorry okay

Roro: I’m really sorry I got mad at you but I’m over it and I’m sorry for being a massive jerkwad

Roro: Just come meet us. We’re gonna go to Barnes and Noble

Roro: Please man

Three missed calls.

Delivered.

Remus leans against the outer wall of Spencers gifts, it’s taking focusing every inch of brainpower on not moving to stop himself from going inside. He wants to chat to Janus, or pull stupid faces and make suggestive noises with the sex toys in the back, or pick out a rancid, horrible, cringe shirt to buy and modify at home. Instead, he remains rooted in place, one hand in his jean pockets, fiddling with a vape. Typically in this situation he’d actually pull it out, but there’s something ever so slightly calming about Logan’s presence, and it cools him a little.

“Janus has been in there for a while,” Logan comments, glancing down at his watch. He’d been coaching Janus on some interview tips on the short stroll towards the store. Not that Logan had a job or anything of the sorts, school kept him much too busy — he just knew what employers wanted to hear. He notes how Remus perks up at the offer of polite conversation, eyes spinning to stare Logan down. It’s something he’s noticed. Remus never looks at anything, doesn’t tend to spare things glances — you either get all of his attention, or none of it. Those eyes bare into Logan’s skin. 

The boy beside him nods enthusiastically. “Do you think that means it’s going well?” Remus questions, “I really hope he gets this, man,” he sounds strangely sincere, serious. It’s terrifyingly out of character. The hunched posture is par for the course, Remus always slouches, but he’s more anxious fidgeting than fizzing with energy. “And, if he does. The discounts in there will go crazy. I’ll abuse the hell out of that.” His grin picks up again, wiggling his eyebrows.

Logan stifles a giggle. Giggle? Since when does he giggle? “Of course that’s what you’re thinking about,” the comment is bizarrely playful. Is his subconscious encouraging some sort of back and forth? Is he unknowingly flirting? He’ll have to examine his own behaviour later.

“Yah doi,” Remus slurs, leaning heavier into the wall, “and also Janus is very quickly running out of money. Between paying for his car, then all those payouts for the people he mows down…” He smirks, corners of his mouth twitching upwards slyly. “And all our supplies, I rely on him for that. And then he pays for me quite a lot…” 

“You do pay him back, right?” Logan questions, raising an eyebrow.

Remus, in turn, wiggles his own. “Oh, I pay him back alright,” he winks, and Logan’s knees shake a tad. “No but I do give him cash, yes.”

Once more, Logan laughs, covering his mouth in an attempt to muffle the sound. His eyes crinkle up and Remus looks on, delighted to have made someone laugh. He clears his throat, attempting to think of what to say next. He stuffs his hands in his coat pockets, finds his earbuds and pulls them out. “Would you like to listen to some music while we wait?” He starts to take his phone from his pocket, but Remus beats him to it, bursting with glee.

“Yes! Of course I do, holy shit. Hold on, do you like Crywank? Or Viking Metal? Or Screamo music? Have you listened to Dead Kennedy’s before?” Remus rattles off, unlocking his phone and delving into his Spotify. Logan peers over at the screen, he has three playlists, Logan had expected more. He catches the title of them before Remus selects one. There’s one entitled, “daddy’s car / passenger slut” . Must be what he plays when Janus is driving and lets Remus control the radio. The one down the bottom, either the oldest playlist, or the only one that doesn’t get updated is simply titled, “regilanus!” Logan purses his lips, the realisation washing over him. A constructed set of songs made for Remus, Janus and Virgil. Unplayed, unupdated, but untouched. Logan would’ve thought something sentimental yet soured would’ve been deleted. Yet it remains.

The playlist Remus selects is called, “hammering nails into my hand” which doesn’t even strike Logan as odd anymore. He hands Remus one of his Bluetooth earbuds and watches the boy connect them to his phone, and hit shuffle. It’s not Logan’s typical genre of music, but it’s a jumbled mess, so surely there’ll be something in here he likes. They stand in relative silence, Logan turning to lean against the wall with Remus, just listening to the lyrics and glancing at the teen next to him from the corner of his eyes. He’s grinning, wide and toothy, bopping his head along to every beat, every cymbal crash, staring out ahead. Logan watches how his hair flops in his face every time he moves, how Remus doesn’t bother moving it. He studies the way his lips curl into a smile, how they work as he mouths out lyrics, how he softly mumbles them under his breath to himself. He notices the six second fade out between songs, and the screaming in his ear slowly merges into a gentle guitar strum. Remus looks down at his phone, checking the song, and he looks as though he’s about to skip, but Logan stops him.

“I like this song,” he manages to get out, placing a finger on the phone screen as deterrent.

Remus shrugs, “Roman listens to shit like this all the time. I added a couple to this to break up the bass. Janus said I was gonna go deaf by the time I’m twenty, but I said, hey! If I do! Great! I’ll have hearing aids, I can turn them down when people piss me off, or do that thing where you make them squeal. Do they still do that? I see that in movies sometimes,” he rattles off, but the music continues. “You don’t strike me as a somber sort of guy. This is suuuuch Prince Stink music.”

Logan shrugs. “He recommended it to me. Ankles, correct? Lucy Dacus? I was listening to some of her songs earlier today, during my journey here,” he takes his finger off Remus’ phone, finding the eye contact startling. But he can’t look away. He lets Remus dissect him, piece by piece. He wonders what the strange boy finds. He wonders what Remus is looking for.

The boy splits into another large grin, turning away from Logan, humming along. It is a nice break, a quiet repose where Logan can finally let out the breath he’d been holding. He’s thinking about the fact they’re sharing earbuds. Listening together. This is far far too intimate.

There’s a loud squeal, the sound of feet thumping off the shiny flooring and Logan tears his eyes from Remus’ cheek to see a very excited, very red Janus, jumping up and down, cheering to himself. He’s no longer clutching a CV, and he punches the air repeatedly. 

Remus slips his earbud out, pressing it into Logan’s hand and spinning on his heel. “Holy shit! Did you get it?” He exclaims, arms flying outwards as Janus races towards him. 

“They’re giving me a trial shift, but they loved me!” The boy practically yells, and Remus gives him a crisp high five, even through Janus’ gloves, cheering aloud. The celebration develops, Remus jumping with Janus, the two of them screeching and leaping around, as Logan stands there. “Oh, man, Logan! I used a couple of the lines you gave me, made a few jokes, and bam! Trial shift on Wednesday!”

Remus jumps in circles, landing in front of Logan and dragging him into the celebrations. He wraps Logan in his arms, and Logan goes stiff. “Oh, you beautiful man, you!” Remus cheers, effortlessly lifting Logan from the ground, twirling him around speedily, before placing him back on two feet. 

Logan remains rigid, mind racing. His mouth hangs open, heat and blood racing to his cheeks. He can feel the warmth radiating off of his face, can feel the fire burning beneath his skin as the imprint of Remus’ arms remains, warm around his cold middle. Every nerve rattles with electricity, every hair on his body stands on end as his mind goes numbingly blank. All he can hear is TV static, he can barely see. He almost misses Remus doing the same to Janus, whipping him around in the air over and over before the two crash into a crushing hug, arms wound tightly around each other. Janus has his chin on his friend's shoulder, and he presses a firm kiss to Remus’ cheek, whooping with joy. 

“Congratulations,” Logan manages to choke out as Janus offers him a high five. The sound is muffled by Janus’ gloves, an accessory he still wears with his shirt. 

Janus is grinning ear to ear, rocking on his heels. He grabs Remus and Logan’s hands respectively, hopping foot to foot, still full of energy. And Logan finds the excitement contagious, unable to prevent the smile creeping onto his cheeks as he matches the action, the three of them skipping in circles, Janus occasionally squeaking. They must look ridiculous, but for once, Logan doesn’t care. 

Logan throws his inhibitions to the wind, tossing his head back as they go round and round, laughing into the air. And then the cool breeze shifts, changes into something icy cold as a voice across the walkway picks up.

“Logan?” 

The jumpers stop in their tracks, still holding hands, but frozen to the spot. Logan peels his eyes down to where Remus’ palm is flush against his own, skin to skin, and jerks away quickly. He tears his hand from Janus’ too, looking out to the three boys who watch on. 

Roman stands leading the group, his hands are on his hips, his eyes narrowed, his chin up. His face is twisted in rage, cheeks pink with fury, chest heaving as he sucks in air through flared nostrils. Patton stands to his left, a wrapped sandwich still under his arm, glasses pushed up against his face. His mouth hangs slightly open, lips parted in shock, hair draped limply by his cheeks. His curls are less lively than usual. And then there’s Virgil, slouched by Roman’s right, hands buried in his pockets, his hood heavy on his head. His lips are pressed in a firm line, eyelids heavy and eyes bloodshot. His expression starts to morph, going from completely blank to a mix of fury Logan has never seen directed his way.

“So this is what you’ve been up to then? This is what kept you from hanging out with us? This is why you’re leaving us all on delivered?” Roman snarls, taking three long strides towards Logan. Janus and Remus back away ever so slowly, eyes shifting anxiously between the two of them. Remus puffs his chest out towards his brother.

“Hey, man, leave him alone,” Remus interjects, coming between his brother and Logan, arms outstretched. “Just because we’re more fun than you are.” He grins cheekily.

Roman barks out a laugh that sounds more like a yell. “Are you fucking kidding me? Logan, we were worried about you, and instead of just saying anything you fuck off to mill about with thing one and thing two? Jesus Christ, dude,” he shakes his head, gesticulating wildly. Janus narrows his eyes from outside the store, then peers over his shoulder. The lady at the tills isn’t looking, she has large black headphones on. 

“We bumped into him, alright. Not his fault, we swept him off,” Janus adds, eyes trailing to Patton and Virgil, who’ve begun to whisper amongst themselves, occasionally sending side eyes towards the four wrapped in the argument.

“You couldn’t even call me back? I called thirteen times! We were fucking panicking! But no, no. We have a stupid, pissy disagreement, you have a little debate with Patton and instead of putting it behind us you, what? Abandon us all for people we don’t like? Logan, what the hell is wrong with you? Like, actually? What is your problem?” Roman continues.

Logan slowly pushes Remus’ arm out the way, ignoring how he can feel the boy's muscle below his fingers. It’s not as though he’s particularly muscular, he’s rather skinny, ratty. But Logan still feels it. “Roman, you have to know I would never intend to ‘abandon’ anyone. I arrived at the mall almost an hour early. I bumped into these two, we started chatting, they offered lunch, and I took it. Was that wrong of me? Maybe. But now I know a lot more of the Janus-Virgil story. I was intending on coming to find you guys, or at least checking my phone — which I haven’t even looked at, by the way — but I got… distracted, okay? I got distracted.” Logan tries to explain, but Virgil perks up at the mention of his name and gets involved.

“What the hell does that mean?” Virgil spits on the approach. Patton, seemingly unwillingly, trailing behind him. The boy has an arm around his stomach, clearly uneasy. Janus offers him a compassionate look, which Patton meets, nodding sadly. “More of our story? How is that any of your fucking business!” He turns to glare at Janus know, waving an accusatory finger, “what the fuck did you say to him?!”

Janus holds up his hands innocently, a small smile befalling his face. “The truth.”

Virgil looks as though he’s about to lunge for the boy, if it weren’t for Remus stepping in like a guard dog. He snarls at Virgil, actually bares his teeth, and juts his neck out. “No, hit me. I dare you, Virgil. Do it.” Remus chomps at the bit, he’s ready for a full on fist fight. Logan squeezes out a sigh. This day has been an emotional rollercoaster. 

“You fucking shit,” Virgil growls over Remus. “I kept that secret! You promised! I did that for you, I lied to everyone! For you!”  

Janus doesn’t respond, just waves his fingers at Virgil, flicking the pesky fly away. “Oh please. You never did shit for me.” His response is cool, nothing like the violence in his voice on game night.

“Fuck you,” Virgil hisses, and Remus pushes his shoulder.

“Back. Off.” The snarl is a warning, the shove is a threat, and Virgil retreats. He’s been here before. He knows how this ends. He’s about to lose part of his group. His safety. His friends. He tries to focus on his breathing. 

“Don’t you dare lay a land on him,” Roman threatens.

“Or what? Gonna stab me with your replica sword? Do it! Stab me, bro,” Remus walks forward, chest to chest with his brother. “Coward.”  

Roman shoves him off harshly, growling.

“Enough!”  

Patton’s voice cuts through the mayhem. He stamps his foot on the ground, determined. “That’s enough,” this sentence is softer, quieter. “This is not productive. Let’s all just calm down! We’re all running on high. Everyone’s upset, okay? But yelling and shoving won’t fix that!”

“It might…” Remus mutters into his shoulder, turning his head away.

“It won’t.” Patton corrects, continuing: “Logan, buddy. What you did wasn’t cool, okay? But… we’ve all been friends a long time, this isn’t some friendship ending debate.” There’s a shaky silence. “We should all cool off. Let’s all take some deep breaths, walk away, and talk about this another day, please. Roman, you need to calm down, right now! We all need to calm down. Please.”

Roman takes a step away from Remus, who still looks ready to attack at a moment's notice. Janus’ hand falls down heavy on his shoulder. “Not worth it, man, seriously.” And Remus softens, shoulders loosening, but his eyes remain steely. 

“Thank you,” Patton lets out a long exhale. 

Logan fixes his glasses. “I’m sorry,” he breathes, “I truly am. It was never my intention to not show up, or to worry anyone. I merely thought… I just wanted… I thought maybe we could all get along,” he can’t find his footing, his train of thought crashing off the tracks. He feels like he’s drowning, he can barely hear, can hardly see. 

Patton nods. “Thank you,” he smiles, ever so slightly, a promise that they’ll be okay, eventually. “I think we should go, c’mon, let’s cool off.” 

“What about our projects? If we can’t even be in the same public place… man, I’ll end up slaughtering someone in my own kitchen and gutting them like a fish,” Remus adds, as though he cares about their school work.

“I think we should work on those remotely for now,” Roman sneers in response. 

“Roman, let’s go,” Patton urges.

Roman huffs, shoots his brother a glare, but nods in agreement. “Snake,” he mutters in Janus’ direction as they pass.

“And what about it!” Janus responds confidently, taking his hand off of Remus. 

Remus snarls again. 

Virgil says nothing, he keeps his head firmly down, hands in his pockets, hood remaining up. He follows after Roman, hot on his heels.

Patton passes Logan his sandwich as he goes, smiling sadly. “I’m sorry too, Lo. I’ll sort them out, I promise. I know you meant well, you just… went about it in the wrong way,” he pats Logan on the shoulder and trails after his friends, leaving Logan standing with a fuming Remus and a loose Janus. 

Janus seems all too happy, perhaps still riding the high of perhaps securing a job.

“I’m gonna kill him!” Remus explodes, hands flailing, “I mean it this time! He’s dead! I swear to fucking God-” 

“Remus,” Logan starts carefully, “maybe don’t murder your brother?” He offers. Then pauses, sucking in some air, able to breathe at last. “Thank you, for sticking up for me. That was… very nice of you.”

Boots scrape on the floor as Remus kicks the ground. “Yeah, obviously. They were ganging up on you. And that’s my job,” he offers a half smile, “I’m… sorry, or whatever. If we ruined a lot of things. We tend to be quite good at that,” he glances back at Janus over his shoulder, who’s scrolling through his phone. “I’ll make it up to you, pinky promise-” Remus mimes sawing his pinky off and dropping it by Logan’s feet, tucking the finger against his palm so it looks as though it’s missing. “-and you can hang with us anytime, you’re chill. If they won’t eat lunch with you or whatever tomorrow, you know where to find us,” he grins wickedly, rubbing his hand over Logan’s shoulder, digging his thumb in. The touch sends something hot running through Logan’s veins as he struggles to find the right words. Or any words for that matter. 

The offer sits heavy in the front of Logan’s mind. “I might just take you up on that,” he smiles.

“Logan, you should check your phone,” Janus butts in, slipping his phone back into his pocket. “Remus and I have been removed from hole gang,” he confesses. (Awful name, comes the addition, which goes unrecognised.)

“Those cunts!” Remus huffs, “stealing my name and then kicking me out,” he folds his arms over his chest, hand leaving Logan’s body. He finds he misses the touch almost immediately. He really doesn't want to deal with these feelings. 

Logan sighs, pulling his phone out. He swipes away his masses of notifications, opening the group chat to see the fall out. “Christ,” he mutters, wiping a hand down his cheek. 

“Monday’s gonna be a shit show,” Remus beams. Janus cackles behind him. And all Logan can do is nod.

And agree.

It is going to be a shitshow.

Chapter Text

New messages in hole gang.

Roro has removed J from hole gang.

Roro has removed dookie from hole gang.

Roro has changed the name of the chat to RLPV.

Roro: Taking out the trash

virge: i never want to see those bastards again

virge: ever.

virge: that lying piece of shit

patton-cake: guys, don’t we think this is a little far?

Roro: No.

virge: i think we should go further

patton-cake: roman, you’re just making your home life more complicated

Roro: Idgaf. This is the face of an idgafer.

patton-cake: when i get back from the toilet let’s all go to my house

virge: y

patton-cake: cause i said so.

Roro: That’s not how that works even a little bit

patton-cake: it is now. we are all going to my house.

patton-cake: @iNerd that means you too

Roro: You’ll be lucky if he checks his goddamn messages

iNerd: I’ll be there.

Roro: Oh look! He learned to use a phone!

virge: idc anymore

virge: if u insist dad

patton-cake: thank you.

The bus ride to Patton’s area is bumpy. The window doesn’t rattle satisfyingly, rather it gives Logan a pounding headache. He’d been half way home when Patton had sent his message about gathering at his house. He prays Patton is there now, because if he has to loiter around outside waiting for the others to arrive, Logan genuinely thinks he’ll throw himself under a passing car. The bus chucks him forward as it screeches to a breaking stop, and Logan finally opens his eyes, not even realising they’d been screwed shut. His mind is racing, and it has been, and it will always be. He rubs his face once more, pulling his thin coat tight around his middle. The bus takes off again, and he prepares to depart at the next stop, rising to his feet, legs shaking, akin to a nervous newborn lamb.

He steps off, the bus stop very conveniently placed directly across the road from Patton’s home. Well, typically it’d be convenient, but on a day like today he finds he wouldn’t have said no to a ten minute walk where he could collect his thoughts. His mothers car is in the driveway, and Patton’s bedroom light is on, so they must be here. He pulls out his phone to check.

RLPV.

iNerd: I’ve just arrived.

patton-cake: my mom knows you’re coming over, just come in and head upstairs :) 

iNerd: Alright.

Par for the course, yet it leaves Logan with very little preparation time. The television static in his mind gets louder with each step he takes towards the home, his feet sinking a little deeper into the quicksand, and with every struggle, he gets sucked down more. He heaves in a breath as he shoves the door open, sliding his shoes off at the base of the stairs. He tosses a polite wave to Patton’s mother as she glances up at him through the open living room door, and she returns the gesture before Logan scampers up the stairs. 

Patton’s bedroom door is ajar, and Logan can see the three of them gathered together, Roman and Patton are sat on the bed, Virgil taking his place on the floor, pressed up against the chest of drawers, one leg outstretched, the other tucked up to his chest. They glance to the door at the sound of Logan’s muffled footsteps approaching. He nudges the door open, sheepish, and offers a small nod. 

“Hello,” he breathes out, trying to figure out where to sit. He ends up hovering awkwardly in the doorway. The bed is a no go, he can’t plant himself next to Virgil, so he ends up pulling out Patton’s desk chair, turning it to face into the group. He baskets his hands in his lap, clearing his throat, only to say nothing.

Patton smiles warmly, “hi, Logan, glad you could make it.” He places his hand down on Roman’s knee, the action appearing sweet and gentle, the comforting action combined with Patton’s typical cheer. But the sound his hand makes when it comes into contact with the boy's leg, coupled with how Roman scrunches his face paints the picture that it was anything but soft. His fingers press down harshly, but the grin never leaves Patton’s face. “Roman has something to say to you,” he states, bright and cheery, but he squeezes a little harder around his friend’s knee, who grimaces in turn. “Don’t you?” 

Roman flinches under Patton’s now scrutinising eye, the teen having whipped his head around swiftly, glaring sharp points into Roman’s skull. “I’m sorry,” he grits out, threatened by the anger. Patton widens his eyes, and Roman shifts uncomfortably. “For… being a dick, and overreacting. What you did wasn’t cool, by any standards, but… I suppose I can see where you’ve been coming from.”

Wow, Logan thinks, Patton must’ve given Roman a proper talking to, for him to come round this fast.

“And, if you… so desperately want us to include Remus more. I guess we can try and give it a shot.” Roman lets out a long breath, chest loosening as he keels over his legs, Patton’s grip releasing. There’s still a slightly apprehensive look stuck across Roman’s features, he’s clearly still a bit miffed. The boy glances up from where his knee still burns, glancing at Virgil who so far, hasn’t said a word. “Your go now.” He gestures vaguely in the boy's direction, eyebrows furrowed tightly together.

Virgil sighs, but tenses as Patton turns the eyes on him. He straightens up where he’s sat, spine flexing as he presses his back into a line. “Yeah, uh. I guess I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have gone off at you… especially in public. I get you were curious, I kept the whole situation… close to my chest for a reason though. So I guess you just set me off,” he sighs, pulling his hood tighter over his head until it almost covers his eyes. It pushes his dark fringe flat to his forehead, the dyed black hair creasing over his eyebrows. 

Patton hums, chuffed, and looks back over to Logan. He’s sliding his coat off, realising he’s settling in for a long ride. “Logan, do you have anything you’d like to add?” There’s that all too present sternness to his voice once more, tilting up at the end of his question. 

Logan swallows, feeling three sets of eyes land on him heavily. “Well, yes, I suppose I do,” he sucks in a deep breath. “I accept your apologies, of course. Tensions were running high, we were all on alert. But I thank you for apologising, that’s very… good of you. I know I voiced my apologies at the mall, but of course I will do so again so we may leave this confrontation in the past. So, I am deeply sorry for abandoning you all today, I hope you know it was never my intention, I got swept up in the moment. My goal has simply been to make some new friends, be a little more inclusive. I’m sorry, Roman, if my pushing has made you uncomfortable, I understand you and your brother don’t get along, but I really think you could!” Logan rubs his fingers together, noticing that Roman is clinging onto every word. That never happens.

“And Virgil,” Logan continues, “I’m sorry I went digging without asking you first. I was focused on what I wanted, rather than considering why you wouldn’t tell us. For that I don’t think I can apologise enough, I never meant to make you unhappy, yet I have.” He leans back in his chair once he’s finished, and Virgil nods at him appreciatively. 

“Patton,” he finishes, and Patton looks slightly shocked as though he hadn’t expected to be included, “I’m so sorry for making you upset earlier, I should’ve dropped the subject, I should’ve… listened to you. And I’m sorry you had to witness the debacle in the mall. I’ve made… a lot of mistakes today.”

“Thank you, Logan,” Patton smiles. “One of your mistakes being ‘effected’,” he giggles, giving little air bunnies around the word. 

Logan tenses up a little, but slowly relaxes and nods his head, a little bob of acknowledgement.

“Yeah, L,” Virgil wipes his face. “What did… What did Janus say to you? About us?” 

Roman has his legs crossed, left ankle balanced on right knee, leaning back on his hands. He’s always been rather easy to read, and his clear expression paints him as intrigued. Drama queen. 

Logan pauses, “I’m… not sure if I should say in front of everyone,” he tugs at the bottom of his polo shirt, anxious. 

“Listen, if Janus told you the truth , then I know at least one thing he told you. And if you know, then I guess everyone should know,” Virgil pushes his hood down, flopping his other leg out until both are outstretched on the carpet.

There’s a pregnant pause, and Logan nods. “He didn’t tell me much,” he starts carefully, noting how Roman rolls forward, hands on his knees, glancing around Patton to focus on the drama. “He did say that… you two were more than friends, that you used to date.”

Roman gasps loudly, a hand flying to his mouth, stuttering. “No way!” He turns his head to Virgil fast enough to give him whiplash, he doesn’t complain, just rubs at the back of his neck. Virgil is already groaning, once more dragging his knees up, burying his head in his legs. “Is that true? No way!” There’s a little grin worming its way onto his cheeks, like he can’t resist the gossip, like he loves it. It really reminds Logan of Janus’ smirk when drama starts up. Interesting. 

Virgil huffs, hands over his face, face on his knees. “Yeah, we dated for a bit,” he mutters, barely above a whisper, voice gruff. 

Roman gasps again, choking on his own saliva, and Patton pats him on the back to help through. “How-?!” Roman manages to cough up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Logan presses his knees together and pushes them apart over and over, letting out some of her nervous energy.

There comes another disheartened grunt as Virgil slides down further onto the floor, sticking his head up. “It’s-”

“Complicated, yes,” Roman rolls his eyes, flicking his hand into the air, “we know that. We know you aren’t together. But you dated? This is new information,” he grins, swinging his legs back and forth. “Oh, please, please tell us more! What happened with you two?”

“Fine-” Virgil spits, clearly unhappy. “You guys have earned it at this point,” he sits up properly, crossing his legs where he’s sat. “Okay, so…”

End of Sophomore year. 

Virgil sits crossed-legged on top of a geography classroom desk, looking over longingly at Janus and Remus, both of which have situated themselves along the countertops lining the windows. They’d shoved folders of work and paper mache models out the way to make room to eat lunch. The three had met when Virgil moved schools half way into freshman year, and had become fast friends. Between them, they had their fair share of shitty school experiences. Mocked for their appearances, for their fashion sense, for the way they acted or spoke. The ‘freaks’ had gathered together, Janus and Remus being friends from middle school, Virgil joining their pack. They were sewn together, written in the stars to form a tight-knit group, and nothing could come between them. 

Janus picks lazily at his food, examining each potato chip or apple slice before he eats it. Conflictingly, Remus seems so focused on shoveling his lunch into his mouth, he wouldn’t even notice if he drank from a random beaker instead of his water bottle. Virgil stands somewhere in the middle, eating slowly, occasionally grabbing at random bits and pieces thrown haphazardly into his back pack.

Mouth full, Remus speaks, spitting crumbs into the air: “Did you see my brother’s face today when he saw me?” He grins devilishly, gesturing to his neck, where he’s wearing a gold chain with a fancy ‘R’ charm. “Like he knew I’d taken his stuff, but didn’t want to yell in the hallway.”

Janus snickers into his food, covering his mouth with his hand. “Priceless, he was /so mad/, like, his whole face went as red as his pants.” 

Virgil nods knowingly, nudging Janus’s knee as his legs swing out. They’re not awfully keen on PDA in general, or at least in front of Remus. Any hand holding, a peck on the cheek, a hug, and Remus is straight in there, begging to sit in the cuck chair. They have to remind him that, 1. He’s not romantically involved, therefore wouldn’t be cucking, would just be creeping. And 2. That they're all sixteen, /and/ Virgil is asexual. So even if he wants to watch, there’s nothing /to/ watch. 

The two had started dating during the summer, all those smoke sessions in the woods, clambering up trees, or listening to music in Janus’ garage shifting into something different. Something more. Something soft. It was chaste, gentle and nervous, neither of them having dated before, and being young… and stupid. Oh, so damn stupid. But Virgil thought Janus was /cool/, thought it was so cool how he didn’t seem to care about others opinions of him, how he always reiterated that no one opinion could matter as much as your own. (Unless it was Janus’ opinion, which mattered most.) And Janus thought Virgil was cute. He was cute, he was fun, he knew how to have a laugh, and he was just as damaged as Janus was. They made a good pairing. Dysfunctional to their core, but what first high school relationship is perfect. What high school relationship is functional? 

“I mean, he’s a dick,” Virgil adds, mumbling as he continues to poke Janus’ leg every time it swings out towards him. “But, he’s kinda… nice? I mean, we share a couple classes, and we started chatting recently. We’ve got a few things in common, he’s not /that/ bad.” 

“My brother? You? Things in common?” Remus cackles, “Virgil, you crack me up. The only thing you two have in common is that when you die I’ll be dancing on your graves and popping confetti canons. The difference is, I’ll piss on his, and I’ll dig you up so we can keep hanging out.”

Janus raises an eyebrow, stopping the swing of his legs quite suddenly. His shins knock against the countertop, and he grimaces. “Patton’s the only chill one in that group,” he pouts out. He and Patton had been ‘friends’ in elementary school — or more so, Patton had stuck up for him a few times, and in turn Janus had done the same for the boy on more than one occasion. Perhaps not as directly, but he had murmured his objections whenever he’d seen Patton being teased. So, in Janus’ mind, Patton will always be the good one. He doesn’t know much of Logan, other than the fact that he’s at Roman and Remus’ home quite a lot, and so is Janus. But, Roman? Roman he sees the most of. He sees Roman and Remus mocking each other, he sees Roman grimacing as he sees Janus’ face, and he remembers the arguments he’d gotten involved in. The names they’d shot at each other. He remembers Roman’s anger as he’d called Janus a snake, and Janus remembers his rage as he’d lunged for the boy, barely stopping himself from punching the guy in the face. He doesn’t even remember why they’d been fighting, something had started between Roman and Remus, and then Janus had stuck up for his friend, and it had all unravelled. 

Janus briefs this, he tells the group why he hates Roman, why he’s an uncooperative dick.

“Huh,” Roman hums as Virgil talks, “I forgot that’s why I hate him,” he shrugs. “I forgot,” he chuckles softly, as though he can’t quite believe himself. The realisation doesn’t dispel any of his feelings, but does have him milling them over in his brain, until he eventually squanders the thought. It’s simply much easier to keep the status quo as it is. Even if he has just promised Logan they can attempt to include the two he’s taken interest in more. It doesn’t matter, they’re going off to college at the end of the school year. However, he doesn’t really want his senior year ruined by two people he can’t really stand the sight of. Roman is a hard guy to work out, he believes his moral compass falls securely and solidly on the side of goodness and loyalty, not noticing how his pendulum can swing at a seconds notice.

“Seriously?” Virgil raises an eyebrow, “your hatred from this guy stems from sibling rivalry and one time where he almost hit you?” His eyes narrow. “You need to get over that.”

“Says you?” Roman snorts, “just keep telling us the story!”

Remus nods his agreement, chewing on animal crackers. “I’m trying to convince our mom to let me get a lizard. I /wanted/ a dragon, but some people's imaginations aren’t active enough to believe those exist. But with a lizard? If I feed it and get it bench pressing, I think it could set Roman on fire,” he beams, hopping off the countertop, only to immediately jump back on. 

Virgil shrugs, “I think you guys over exaggerate how bad that group is. I mean, I share study hall with Logan and Roman, and they’re lovely. Like, super chatty, Roman is far too chatty, it’s exhausting. But Logan helped me with my math homework. And I was on the geography field trip with Patton, he’s such a sweetheart,” he smiles as he recounts, “I think they’re… y’know… chill.”

“Let’s agree to disagree,” Janus muses towards his boyfriend, wiping a finger down his dark grey jeans. “Because /sure/, Virgil. You’re soooooo right, they’re definitely chill people,” he rolls his eyes.

Virgil tenses under the sarcasm, and the clear disagreement. It feels a little like Janus is disregarding his opinion entirely, not realising he’d done the same towards Janus. As well as he thinks he knows his boyfriend, he doesn’t know just how many secrets the boy holds onto. “C’mon, dude, don’t be a dick,” he huffs.

“Don’t dude me,” Janus smirks, reaching over, far over his knees to poke Virgil’s shoulder. 

“Can I sit in the voyeur chair?” Remus pleads, jokingly? Maybe he’s joking. At least he’s stopped calling it a cuck chair.

“Shut the fuck up, man,” Virgil cackles, jumping off his desk to bat his friend’s leg, swatting him lightly over and over. The three drop into giggles, Janus sliding off the counter to team up with Virgil in terrorising Remus. The boy cackles madly, kicking his legs out as a deterrent. They only let up when the lunch bell rings, sighs rolling through their bodies. 

Janus loops his arm through Virgil’s, rocking side to side slightly. “Aw man, lunch never lasts long enough,” he smiles as Virgil rolls his head onto Janus’ shoulder, grinning up at him through his eyelashes. 

Remus sticks his tongue out at them, his boots heavy against the linoleum floors as he leaps from his seat. “I can’t stand these fuckin’ gay people. Do whatever you want just don’t shove it down my throat,” he wiggles his eyebrows, “or do. I don’t mind.”

“Gross,” Virgil prompts, and Janus wrinkles his face up, making a vague disgusted sound. 

Remus grabs his bags and dashes off, rattling off something about his class being on the other side of the school. He races away, backpack clattering against his back as he runs. Janus chuckles as he sprints and turns to Virgil. He pulls the boy's hood down and presses a kiss to the top of his head. Virgil pushes playfully at the other's chest, pretending to shove him away. “C’mon, Jan, don’t,” he mutters, and Janus pulls away, all contact discontinued.

There’s a strange look on his face.

“Are you still comin’ round after school?” He asks, reaching to push his hat further onto his head, tilting the top of the cap down. “My mom and Emile are going shopping cause he needs new shoes, so we can hang out without him asking to play video games with us.” 

Virgil smiles, “duh, I’d never pass that up,” he reaches out and takes Janus’ gloved hand in his own, rubbing over his fingers. “Walk with me to class?” He laces their fingers together as he grabs his bag, slinging it over his shoulder, hanging off dangerously. Janus tugs his bookbag over his neck, looping his other arm through the strap as he nods.

“No, let’s walk awkwardly behind each other,” he teases, swinging their arms a little, squeezing Virgil’s palm. They exit the classroom, and the second they reach the hallway, Virgil drops his hand and shoves it into his hoodie pockets, humming to himself. He misses the hurt that washes over Janus’ face as he looks away from Virgil. They chat quietly until they reach their English class, talking all the way to their assigned seats. Virgil slides into his chair at the desk beside Roman, who barely spares Janus a passing glance. Janus waves his goodbyes as he traipses to the back of the room, slithering into his seat, surrounded by people he doesn't really know. 

“I remember that class,” Roman interrupts again, enthusiastically. “That’s the class I first asked you to eat lunch with us!” 

“Yeah…” Virgil draws, “that kind of… was an issue,” he coughs into his fist.

Patton tilts his head to the side. “Did that cause the fight?” 

Virgil presses his mouth into a thin line, saying nothing.

“Please, Virgil, continue,” Logan finds himself sucked into the drama, intrigued and undeniably hooked. His phone buzzes in his pocket, and Logan hums. “Hold on, wait…”

dookie has opened a private chat with iNerd.

dookie has changed their nickname in this chat to feral dog .

feral dog: heyyyyyyy nerd freak

feral dog: thanks for hanginggggg with us today. If u ever wanna get Hung with us again ;^] ur always invited

feral dog: soz for almost attacking ur friend

iNerd: He’s your brother?

feral dog: brothers by chance, enemies by choice 

feral dog: anywayyyyy hope u had a super awesome swagtastic day with us cause we fuck with u heavyyyy now

iNerd: Thank you, Remus, that’s very kind. 

iNerd: I’ll add “fuck with you heavy” to my lexicon. I’ll… work out what that means.

feral dog: we like u bro

iNerd: You like me?

feral dog: yea man we like u. ur awesome and chill and hot 

feral dog: the offer to be Hung always remains ;^]

feral dog: either dicked or from a noose idm im down for both

iNerd: Right. Well, thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.

“You’ve gone soooo red, Lo,” Roman chuckles, clambering around Patton to try and glance at Logan’s phone, “who’re you texting? What are you hidinggggg,” he teases, as Logan snatches his phone away.

“No one!” He spits, groaning as Roman shrugs. He relaxes, sighing and beginning to move his phone to his lap when Roman lunges once more, grabbing the device from Logan’s hands. 

Roman’s quiet as he reads, giggles dying down as his eyebrows knit. “God he’s so gross,” he tosses the phone back to Logan, “you’re so red. But I get it, he’s embarrassing.” There’s something off about Roman’s look, his words are sincere, but there’s something in his eyes that doesn’t believe what his mouth is saying. “Just tell him to fuck off, and that you don’t want his dick,” he finishes.

Logan fixes his glasses, shoving his phone into his back pocket. “Yes, well. Uh, Virgil continue!”

Patton nods enthusiastically.

After school, Virgil meets Janus by the back gate and they stroll lazily back to his house, sharing a cigarette between the two of them. They cut through the woods, and finally Virgil feels comfortable enough sliding his hand into Janus’ own once more. Janus squeezes reassuringly, exhaling a steady stream of smoke.

“You were chatting to Roman in English class?” Janus finally speaks, the first thing he’s said since ‘hey’ when they met at the gate.

Virgil glances up at him, plucking the cig from between his fingers and taking a drag. “Yeah,” he replies on the exhale, “he asked me if I’d eat lunch with his group tomorrow.”

Janus visibly tenses, but he doesn’t quit walking. “What’d you say?”

“I told him I’d think about it,” Virgil pulls his feet across the dirt, spying the exit of their shortcut trail, and Janus squeezes his palm a little tighter. He’s about two inches taller than the boy, he doesn’t know that Virgil is about to hit a miniature growth spurt, and he’ll end up half an inch taller than Janus. 

“Are you gonna sit with him?” Janus takes his cigarette back and finishes it, getting two puffs before stubbing it out on the fence lining the trail's exit, tossing the butt to the ground. 

“I’m still thinking about it,” Virgil grins wickedly, glancing at his boyfriend, he finds he isn’t smiling. They step out into public, and before Virgil can let go of his hand (frightened of people judging) Janus releases, almost throwing Virgil’s hand down. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” he hisses, speeding up his pace towards his house, and Virgil scrambles to keep up. 

“Jeez,” Patton breathes, “sounds tense.” He’s sitting cross-legged on his bed, open bag by his side, and he tugs out his water bottle, tipping it back. 

“Can I have a sip of your water?” Logan whispers, leaning over carefully.

“Oh, this is strawberry milk,” Patton grins, passing it into Logan’s hand, who quickly passes it back.

“Nevermind.”

Virgil leans against Janus’ side, head on his shoulder, watching him scroll through TikTok carefully, the two of them occasionally breathing out their nose when something is mildly amusing. Janus’ room is mostly dim, the top light off, only illuminated by a lamp on his bedside table, it casts a warm yellow light onto the two on the bed. His walls are a dark grey, punctuated by a couple yellow accents. The teen had found his signature colours at a young age and stuck to them. His bedroom is quite large, and there’s a massive snake tank pressed to one wall, somewhere inside is a juvenile ball python napping. Virgil likes being here. He loves the snake, also very fitting of Janus’ favourite colours. 

“Send that one to me,” Virgil murmurs into Janus’ ear, pressing his face into his boyfriend's neck. He traces the edges of a pale patch of vitiligo on the boy's hand, trailing his fingers up his arm, and in to mess with his hair. He likes how Janus’ relaxes around him, when he untenses and sinks into warmth. The gloves quite literally come off, his baseball cap gets discarded onto the floor, and the harsh lines carved into his face from frowning soften. 

Janus does as he’s told, forwarding the clip onwards, an arm curling around Virgil’s side. He leans over and kisses the top of his head. “Please don’t sit with them tomorrow.”

Virgil sits up, kneeling on the bed. “Are you still talking about this?” He blinks at Janus, “why can’t you just drop it? I don’t see the issue.”

“Of course you don’t,” Janus mutters, going back to scrolling through his phone, eyes rolling in his head as he does.

“What's that meant to mean?” Virgil tightens his eyebrows. Oh they're doing this. They don't fight much. Do they disagree? Of course, on quite a lot of things. Virgil can tell Janus wants them to be more open about them as a couple, he wants the PDA, the hand holding, the pet names, the public dates. Virgil just… doesn't want them to be perceived. There's so many bad people out there. Janus would argue that hiding it is making them feel /worse./

Janus scoffs, “all I'm saying is you wouldn't see the issue. Listening isn't your strong suit, Virge.” His words are drawn out, scribbled with that cocky sarcasm Virgil hates.

Virgil reaches out and shuts off Janus’ phone in his hand. Janus allows the device to slide easily from his grip. “What?”

“Remus and I say we have bad experiences with Roman, you say he's a good guy. Remus and I say we want to go to the mall, you take us to the woods,” he looks Virgil up and down: 

“I say I want to love you openly, you ignore me every time.”

Virgil sits back on his heels. “That's a low blow,” he mutters, “you know I'm not comfortable-”

“When will you be comfortable?” Janus cranes his neck, glaring at his boyfriend. “It's been months, Virgil. I mean, months. We started dating in summer if you've forgotten?” 

Virgil rubs his face, exhausted already. “I… Don't know. I don't know, okay! I don't want what you want. You want some big declaration or whatever.”

“No, I don't,” Janus huffs, “once again you're not fucking listening-”

“Don't patronise me!” Virgil snaps.

“Well you’re not! I've never asked for a big fucking show! Is it so much to ask that you don’t throw my hand away the minute other people are around like you're allergic to me!” Janus spits, throwing his hands in the air.

“You know that's not how I mean it, I'm just-”

“Nervous? Oh big fucking whoop, Virgil. Fucking hell,” Janus grabs at his bedsheets before clambering out to stand in the middle of his room. “I get it, alright! You don't want your new best friends to know you're dating Freddy Ew-eger over here, whatever.” 

“Janus!” Virgil slinks forward on the bed until he's sitting on the edge, watching his boyfriend pace around. “Now you're putting words in my mouth!” 

“Am I?” He hisses, pausing by Virgil’s feet. “What is the reason then, Virge! Why can't you be seen with me? Why don't you ever, /ever,/ listen to me? Why are you leaving me!”

“I'm not leaving you!”

“That doesn't answer any of my fucking questions,” Janus points an accusatory finger, inches away from Virgil’s face, and he smacks it away.

“Don't point at me!” He rises from where he's sat. “Where is this coming from! We're fine!”

“Clearly not! You're abandoning me, abandoning Remus, you're walking away from us! We fucking… we took you in! And you're gonna throw it away for /them./”

“Abandonment is a strong fucking word,” Virgil snarls, “just because you don't like them doesn't mean I have to hate them too! I don't listen to you, because you're a total fucking idiot, okay!”

Janus hesitates and then laughs. He throws his head back, laughing. “I knew it, I fucking knew it!” He stumbles closer to Virgil, there's still half a foot between them, the step is barely threatening, Janus had just been unsteady on his feet.

But Virgil reacts instinctively, shoving Janus in the chest as hard as he can. Janus stumbles and topples backwards, crashing into his desk, bashing his back off the wood. He groans. “You piece of shit!”

“You're the piece of shit! What the fuck is wrong with you!”

“You want an itemised list?” Janus chokes out spitefully, clutching his stomach as he doubles over. “That /hurt!/” It can't be said if Janus means the push or the words. His voice comes out strained, a high pitched whine that hits Virgil’s ears all wrong. There's tears bubbling up in Janus’ eyes, Virgil can see them, but anger overpowers him.

“Oh grow up!” He screams, "You're mad because people like me more than they like you? That's pathetic!”

“I'm mad because you like them more than you like me!”

“Are you fucking serious!? Stop being so possessive!”

“Stop throwing me under the bus!”

“Oh shut the hell up, snake face.”

“Get the fuck out of my house!” Janus yells, hands flying as he balls them into fists. His fingernails cut crescent moons into his palms, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Get out!” He grabs a notepad off his table, hurling it across the room, where it hits the wall to the left of Virgil. “Get the fuck out!”

Virgil grabs his things, hissing as he goes. “We're done!”

“Obviously!” Janus screams, “I fucking hate you,” comes quieter after, as he doubles back over, still clutching his middle.

Virgil flees down the stairs, not realising he’d left behind his phone charger. He slams the door behind him, wiping his nose on the sleeve of his hoodie, still seething. 

The three blink in relative silence. The only noticeable sound is Virgil’s shaky breathing, and Logan rapping his fingers off the desk behind him. Patton has busied himself looking around his room, examining his belongings as though he didn’t decorate it himself. The wall behind his bed is pasted with photographs of his friends and family, printed pictures of the four them of hanging out, of them all (excluding Virgil) gathered around a campfire from freshman year, and then ones including the newest member of the group — the four of them huddling together on the couch, down the beach, sat in a row at the cinema. Along the wall, beside the photos, he has a wooden Cross, hanging off the paint. He pets his blue bedsheets carefully, glancing at the bedroom light, there’s four little fuzzy worms hanging from the light, each a colour one of his friends had picked.

“Jeez,” Roman breaks the tension, sighing, chest heaving. “That’s… a lot. So much profanity too.” He turns his eyes to Virgil, eyebrow quirked as he exhales in disbelief. “You really shoved him?”

Virgil groans, nodding as he remembers. “Yeah…” He looks up from the ground. “And then, the next day, after lunch — when I sat with you guys — he came storming up to me and threw my phone charger at my feet. The only words we exchanged was an agreement to never tell anyone we dated. I guess that’s what I wanted anyway, he said he was embarrassed to have ever known me, we insulted each other some more, Remus asked why I was abandoning them for you guys and… now here we are.” 

Logan’s sat with one hand over his mouth, struggling to find the words. It’s not often he finds himself speechless, but as of late it seems to be happening more and more. Perhaps for different reasons though. “I… don’t know what to say,” he mumbles through his fingers, turning to Patton for his usually peppy advice. The boy has his lips pressed together tightly, fiddling with his sweater, staring at the ceiling. 

Virgil watches as Patton squeezes his eyes closed, blowing out a long breath, whole body deflating. He crumples in on himself, ending up with his elbows on his knees, head heavy in his hands. “Fucking hell, Virgil,” he finally mutters, and Roman gasps next to him.

Patton never curses. It’s just not something he does. They don’t discuss it, no one ever brings it up, it’s just an understood fact. Even when he injures himself, he has some other creative complaint. He never curses. Perhaps it shouldn’t be such a big deal, and maybe it’s weird of them to be shocked at an eighteen year old boy swearing, and yet it courses through the air as a wave of disappointment as Patton strains his head up from his palms. His face is pale, the usual constant flush that’s painted across his cheeks faded and dimmed. 

“I mean…” Patton shakes his head, “I don’t- what? What the fuck?” Twice in a row. Is he going to kill Virgil? 

The boy tenses. “I know,” he shudders out, “it’s bad.”

“Both of you…” Patton rubs his face, unable to find the correct phrasing, “suck.” He finally settles. “You both suck, I mean truly, you both did and said the worst possible things you could’ve done and said! I didn’t even know that was possible.”

Virgil purses his lips. “Yeah,” he mumbles, head falling down again, suddenly very interested in the carpet beneath him, and the fuzzy rug just a few inches beyond.

“If I may,” Roman offers, “I don’t think there’s a very clear cut answer here. As much as I… truly hate to say it. I think you two… share the blame here.”

Logan uncovers his mouth, surprised at Roman’s (albeit reluctant) astute observation. He had expected the teenager to immediately leap to the defense of Virgil, declare that he was completely correct, every step of the way. “Roman, I can’t believe I’m about to agree with you,” Logan muses, “but yes. From your testimony here, Virgil, it’s becoming clear that your… rocky relationship had a fairly unstable foundation. Zero communication, until eventually it all…”

“Fizzed up and exploded,” Patton finishes, taking his glasses off to polish them on his sweater sleeve. 

“Yes… Let’s use that comparison.” Logan nods hesitantly. “Do you… maybe think you could work towards forgiveness?” He challenges.

Virgil glances up, contemplating his options. “I’m not sure,” he works the words out slowly, “it was pretty heavy. I mean, we’ve been glaring at each other ever since.”

“Didn’t you smoke with them in the bathrooms last week or something?” Roman remembers, and Virgil groans.

“That was so awkward,” he murmurs, “I’d just had a massive breakdown in the last period, and a little loopy, I ended up sitting on the toilet seat as the other two actually smoked and talked. Janus wouldn’t even look at me, except for swatting me on the shoulder when I made some bitchy comment about his desperation to be perfect,” he grimaces at the memory. “Literally, didn’t acknowledge my existence whatsoever.”

Roman pulls a face and nods.

Patton seems lost in thought, and Logan reaches over to nudge him. “Patton, are you okay?”

“Just thinking, I don’t know what’s right here. I mean, making amends obviously? But, I’m not sure… how you go about that? I don’t know.”

“I think… that’s something you don’t have to worry about. It’s really in Virgil’s hands. And Janus’, if he complies.” Logan rubs his thumb over Patton’s shoulder, who offers an unconvincing smile in return. 

“Maybe,” Virgil decides. “My answer is maybe. Maybe I can… try to get along with him. Since you’re so desperate to include him and shithead number two,” he gestures vaguely to Roman who snorts.

Logan reacts defensively, for some reason. “I’m not desperate to include them! I just. I believe they can be good people. They’re fun. Okay? They’re good, fun people, and Remus is a nice guy!”

Roman gives him a strange look, one that Logan can’t quite read, but he clears his throat and looks away, shrugging. “Senior year is where people put rivalry behind them and the whole year group becomes vague friends, right? Why not, it’s a quest at the very least.”

“Of course you’d think of it like a quest, Mr Knight in H&M Armour.”

“Everything is a quest, Cold Topic!”

Chapter Text

Roro has added Remust kill to RLVP.

Roro has added Janus to RLVP.

Remust kill: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

Roro: Sorry for kicking you two…

iNerd: Welcome back.

patton-cake: three cheers!!!!!

virge: hip hip 

virge: that’s all ur getting from me

virge: two cheers

patton-cake: hooray!!!!!

Remust kill has changed the name of the chat to hole gang 2: electric boogaloo.

Remust kill has changed their nickname to rere.

rere: back to matching bro

rere: also hole gang

Roro: Oh, yay…

iNerd: How’s everyone feeling this morning?

rere: i had weird dreams

Roro: Jesus christ here we go again

rere: logan have u ever heard of superwholock

rere: i think im destined to kill demons as sherlock

rere: or become a demon which sounds more fun. also david tennant was there

iNerd: Interesting, you can tell me more at lunch. 

rere: u gonna sit with us?

patton-cake: hehehhehehehhe

patton-cake: we were wonderinggggg if you wanted to sit with us today!!!

rere: nah i cant leave my daddy behind. lil kitten (me!) wont survive without him

Roro: I hate you 

Roro: Just. So much

Roro: You cannot even begin to imagine how much I hate you

Roro: I’m already regretting all this reconciliation bullcrap…

rere: [kissy_face]

patton-cake: roman dont be rude [wide_smiling_face] otherwise :) ill get :) so angry :D 

Roro: Terrifying! Thank you!

iNerd: Janus is invited too. Of course.

rere: oooo chaotic. im in.

rere: virgil what did they give u to get u to agree to this

rere: did they threaten you with knives or pepper spray

virge: are those my two options

rere: yes which one

virge: they didnt threaten me

virge: i agreed to this

virge: i want to make amends 

rere: bleeueghh

rere: okie :3 

patton-cake: hooray!!!! spectacular!!!!

Roro: Wonderful!

virge: epic

rere: awesomesauce

iNerd: Awesomesauce?

rere: yes. awesomesauce. i coat everything i eat in it. including ass.

virge: quick name one person youve had sex with

rere: ur dad

Roro: Ooooooooo Virgil, are you gonna let that slide?

virge: watch ur back royals

Roro: What did I do!

virge: insite violence 

iNerd: *Incite.

virge: ur next

patton-cake: im on routeeeeee see you all soon :3 if we all get there early we can hang out before class?

rere: roman is frog marching me to the car

Roro: I’m standing behind him as he begs me to leap frog over him

virge: lmao

iNerd: Cute.

Cute? Roman shuts his phone off in his hand, glaring down at Remus, crouched on the floor. “I’m not jumping over you, freak,” he rolls his eyes, ignoring the glare his mother sends his way. ‘Sorry,’ he mouths towards her, noticing how she sighs, glancing down at her other son. Roman feels bad for Remus sometimes. But he can’t help it if he’s the golden child. He wishes their mother paid more attention to his brother sometimes though, maybe he’d be more… regular if she had. 

“Killjoy,” Remus sticks out his tongue, grabbing his tattered bag from the ground and roaming to the car, swinging into the back left seat, almost automatically pushing his wide headphones over his ears. The music is loud enough that Roman can hear it as he clambers in the passenger side beside his mother, and he can’t imagine how painful that must be to listen to. Behind him, Remus is typing furiously on his phone, tongue resting between his front teeth. 

“Who are you messaging?” He asks, craning his head around the seat as their mother begins driving. Remus doesn’t reply, so Roman smacks his leg until the boy looks up, taking his padded headphones off one ear angrily. He repeats the question.

Remus flashes him the phone screen quickly. “Logan,” he responds swiftly, offering no explanation. It’s unlike Remus to be so straight forward and to the point. He’d expected more pushback. 

“Why?” Roman cocks an eyebrow, still leaning around the seat.

Remus grins, “wouldn’t you like to know, slut?”

“Remus, language,” their mom sighs from the driver's side, with no real malice to her voice. She’s gotten used to the twins' antics, and mostly given up on the whole parenting part of having children. 

“What do you two even have to talk about?” Roman continues his interrogation, turning back around to look out the windshield.

“I dunno, stuff. Why would I read you my sexting?”

“Ewwww,” Roman groans, “please don’t date my best friend.”

“I’m not gonna date him,” Remus sticks his tongue out teasingly, “I’m just gonna fuck him.”

Their mother sighs loudly, but doesn’t comment.

Roman sits back, satisfied with the answer. Perhaps other siblings would remain concerned at that sentiment, but to Roman it solidifies the fact that Remus has no real attraction to Logan, otherwise he’d be acting weird. Or, weird for Remus. Which would mean acting normal. That’s to say, if Remus actually had a thing for Logan, he’d be much more defiant. Something like, “ew gross, I don’t want your friends. Why would I date your friends!” Really, Remus saying he want to fuck someone or something is the most comforting thing he could’ve said.

“Okay, good.” Roman huffs, noticing how Remus licks his lips dramatically, shown to him in the side mirror. “Don’t fuck my friends.”

“Roman, please,” their mother huffs, halfassed, as she rounds the corner towards the school. It’s not as busy when it’s this early. 

“Jesus Christ, Mr Puritan. Is everyone off limits now? Do I have to ask my dear brothers permission? Does my t-shirt show too much skin? Shall they whip me in the town square to teach me a lesson?” Remus bats his eyelashes, cackling as he slides his headphones back on, going back to texting.

One new message from iNerd.

iNerd: Alas, I do try my best. I’m just glad everyone’s okay now, for the most part. And it seems that Virgil truly is open to putting the past behind him, if you and Janus are also willing. It’s a two way street of course. Or a three way street in this case, I suppose.

rere: soz disappeared

rere: roman says i cant date u

iNerd is typing…

rere: OR fuck u. how controlling 

rere: ooo 3 way???? im down

iNerd: Do you want to date me?

rere: i want to fuck u

iNerd: Really?

rere: r u offering ;^]

rere: the glasses stay on during sex

iNerd: I can’t tell if you’re making a joke or not. 

rere: its a curse 

iNerd: I wouldn’t mind.

rere: oooooo okay whore

iNerd: And of course my glasses would stay on. I can’t see your face if I take them off.

rere: awwww u think im pretyyyyyy

iNerd: Incredibly so.

rere: flattery will get u everywhere

iNerd: Will it get me anywhere with you?

rere: ur funny logan

rere: prince stink said u were funny but i didnt believe him

rere: ur a hoot

iNerd is typing…

rere: hey we r almost there btw

iNerd: Humor is one of my strong suits, of course. 

rere: im smokin the crack ur sellin

iNerd: What does that mean?

rere: who knows :3

Read.

Logan glances up from his phone as he stands straight against the exterior wall of the main school building. His breathing is shallow, surprised by his own forwardness in his texting. Thank goodness Remus had assumed he was joking, Logan doesn’t know what he’d been thinking. Flirting so unabashedly? And of course, humour is not his strong suit, but Remus didn’t need to know that. Logan was simply… testing the waters. Yes. This was another one of his social tests, he’s just trying to figure out how Remus works. That’s all. He glances around, and his eyes catch on Patton, bounding away from his mothers car, waving enthusiastically.

“Lolo!” He skips over, bag bouncing on his back as he skids to a stop by his friend. “How’s your mornin’ been? Who’re you texting?” 

“No one,” Logan replies as casually as he can, which isn’t very casual at all, his voice shaking. Patton pokes him in the cheek, tickled pink, and Logan slowly leans out of the touch as Patton giggles. 

“You’re such a bad liar, Lo!” He squeals, trying to peer over Logan’s phone screen, grinning widely. “C’monnnnn, can’t you trust me with a secret?” He pleads, eyes wide and wet behind his round frames, face pulled into a rather convincing expression. And Logan’s not made of stone, he may be bad with reading expression, or understanding tone, but even he can’t resist Patton’s pleas.

He huffs, chest decompressing. “I’m… communicating with Remus,” Logan tightens his grip on his phone in case Patton attempts to take it from him. He knows Patton won’t, but just in case.

Patton raises an eyebrow, “that’s it? Why would you hide that?” He jabs Logan’s side gently, and then his smile wiggles a little as he thinks. He doesn’t say anything, but Logan can feel his eyes rolling over him. 

“Hello, beautiful, gorgeous people,” Roman’s voice calls as he emerges from his mothers car, followed by an unwilling Remus. The boy has both hands shoved in his pockets, hunched over, headphones still heavy on his head. But as he approaches, he slides them off, letting them hang around his neck as he waves far too enthusiastically. The change up in emotions is strange. Logan smiles. Patton looks at him strangely, Logan doesn’t smile very much.

“Roman!” Patton beams, a little shocked that Remus hasn’t said anything yet, but he’s busied himself on his phone, typing furiously.

One new message from Janus.

Janus: We’re all rocking up early?

rere: yahhhh we just waiting on u and the emo

Janus: I’m walking right now.

Janus: Virgil wants to ‘make amends’?

Janus: I didn’t know he knew how to do that, the petty, vindictive bastard.

rere: janny u r the pettiest most bastardly guy i know

rere: and i know myself 

Janus: I’m going to kill you.

rere: at last [drooling_face]

rere: dont die in the woods baby

rere: how would i survive without you 

rere: plus it’d rlly fuck up our suicide pact

Janus: When did we make this pact?

rere: i made the pact 

rere: u r an unwilling participant 

Janus: Sounds right.

Janus: Look up.

Janus: I see you.

Janus: LOOK UP.

“Hey, Daddy!” Remus yells into the air, staring at the sky. Roman jumps next to him, flinching at the sudden noise.

He clutches his chest. “Sweet Odysseus! What the fuck?”

“Hi, kitten,” comes a far off reply, and Roman leans over his shoulder to watch the approaching Janus get closer and closer. He’s smiling, which is strange as well. Not because Janus never smiles, not even that he never smiles genuinely — Roman has caught Janus smiling plenty of times, and whilst those are often smug smirks, he does have a genuine grin. But it catches him off guard, because he notices how the early morning sun makes the boy sort of… glow. Ethereal in a way, and his enthused smile only adds to that. His cap is tilted back further than usual, not shading his face from the sun properly, and he really does look… beautiful. 

Roman swallows harshly. 

Janus drapes his arm around Remus when he arrives, and the boy licks his lips in return. “Missed you,” Remus purrs in faux-seduction, tracing a finger around Janus’ jaw.

“Get a room,” Logan rolls his eyes, and Roman glances at him strangely. Logan? Using idioms? Being… unserious? It almost sounds jealous.

“You’re welcome to join us,” Remus cackles, “maybe I’ll finally have a chance to sit in the cuck chair!” He claps his hands together once, the sound cracking and loud. He beams as though he’s made an intense discovery — or he’s just pleased with himself.

Janus swats at him, removing his arm. His skin tingles as he meets Roman’s eye, who’s looking at him with a peculiar stare. He rubs at his elbow, averting his eyes. “Disgusting,” he mumbles, rocking back on his heels. 

Patton fidgets with his fingers and smiles. “Just waiting on Virgil,” he points out, watching Janus’ face to try and read his expression. It remains mostly blank, except for the way he nods slowly, considering. 

There’s a gentle, peaceful silence that overtakes them as they bask in each other's presence. Janus notes how Roman stays a half step away from him, far enough to not be touching, close enough to feel intentional. It’s as though their shoulders are breathing on each other, but Janus doesn’t move. He doesn’t want anyone to pick up on just how close they are, and he finds, quite worryingly, he doesn’t want to be further away. The thought startles him, the idea of being close to Roman should make him feel gross, or neutral at the very least. But it doesn’t. It fills him with a strange sense of calm, however his mind still finds a way to rush with possible remarks, quips, and little sarcastic comments he could fire. 

“Love the outfit, Roman,” Janus drawls sarcastically into the quiet, his usual cocky grin befalling his face. The Royal’s clothing are a standout, bright and shining. His ‘casual’ wear is still something Janus would never be caught dead in. All reds and golds, and it’s clear he’s trying way too hard.

Roman, forever weak to flattery, brushes the air from his chest and places a gracious hand over his heart. “Thank you,” he says with a triumph, face shining with pride, and in turn Janus rolls his eyes.

Logan opens his mouth to interject but decides better of it, shaking his head slowly as he presses his lips together. Instead he turns his attention to Remus. The boy can never seem to keep his hands still, he fiddles with whatever's in his pocket, then tugs on the bottom of his shirt, where he’d obviously cut the hem off himself. He pokes and prods at Janus’ side, pulls on the boy’s hoodie, examines his handiwork with the sewn on patches, rakes his fingers through his hair. He chews at his nails, chipped paintwork flaking away in his mouth. His eyes dart around wildly, and maybe (definitely) to everyone else, he’d look a little insane. But there’s a warmth steadily flowing through Logan’s veins, and his hands ache with the urge to touch. Desire forces its way into the forefront of his mind, and his feet are moving before he can command them not to, inching a step closer to Remus, swallowing down mouthfuls of fear. The teenager smells faintly of soap. 

“Hiya, Teach,” Remus grins, turning his head to the closer-now Logan. His face is inches away from Logan’s, and Logan notices how if he leaned just… a tiny bit closer… he could… He doesn’t. He forces the urges back, and swallows thick in his throat. “You good?”

“I’m great,” Logan replies, cool as a cucumber despite the lack of personal space. 

“You sleep well?” Remus asks, there’s a hint of something more in his voice. “Wanna hear more about my dream?” He raises and lowers his eyebrows, dancing them up and down his forehead in an attempt to draw Logan in. Little does he know that Logan has been caught for a while now, hook, line and sinker.

“Sure,” Logan nods, enthused. 

Two new messages in hole gang 2: electric boogaloo.

virge: almost there i promise

virge: ik we said early. but im still gonna be 10 mins early so no one kill me

patton-cake: we would never!!!!!!!!!!!!

virge: remus might 

virge: @rere

virge: no response from trash bastard man????? 

virge: whats he doin rn

patton-cake: talking very loudly about his dream to lolo hehe

virge: dam poor L

virge: i see yall

Roro: You are rapidly approaching our location??

virge: sure am

virge: knife in hand

Roro: Who’s the target?

virge: whoever i see first 

virge: soz patton

patton-cake: aww :( 

Virgil kicks a rock across the pathway and it scuttles along the ground, landing at Patton’s feet. His hands are balled at his sides, only unfurling when he tugs his headphones off his head, shoving them roughly into his bag, hanging off one shoulder. The straps on his schoolbag are sewn back into place, having broken last month, and he was too attached to it to buy a new one. “Hey, Pat,” Virgil stops by his side, nudging him gently. 

“Hi, Virgil!” Patton ruffles the boy’s hair, pulling his hood down in the process. “Everyone is here, and I can finally ask — how are we all?!” He’s peppy as always, forever too happy to be awake, especially this early. 

“I’m alright,” Janus replies quickly, looking thankful to have someone to talk to. Virgil notices that he’d been looking carefully at Roman, watching how his back moved as he crouched over his bag. He’s not sure what Roman is looking for, but it becomes apparent as he pulls a large bottle from his bag, pushing it into Patton’s arms, who squeals. A plastic bottle of strawberry milk. Of course.

“I’m splendid, thanks, Pat. Got plenty of beauty sleep, I’m absolutely brimming with energy and ready to have a wonderful day,” Roman grins, zipping up his bag and rising from the ground. Janus tears his eyes away before the twin can notice.

“I’m tired as fuck,” Virgil rubs his eyes, unintentionally further smudging his dark eyeshadow under his eyes. It does work towards his aesthetic however, so he's not particularly bothered. 

Patton coos, “aw, Virge, any free periods you can nap in?”

Virgil nods, “if I’m able. I’ll try grab the dead corner of the library and pass out there before lunch.”

Logan and Remus appear to be wrapped up in conversation, Remus nattering animatedly, his hands flying, teeth bared as he talks. And Logan is close, listening, nodding. “-so what do you think my brain is trying to tell me with that?”

“That you’ve got a very imaginative mind,” Logan answers, pushing up his glasses, “and you should take up creative writing.” 

Remus beams, “I could write a killer murder mystery. I’m great at subverting expectations.”

“That you are,” Logan muses. He touches his chin, resisting the fire in his fingers that begs to be extinguished. He doesn’t know how he knows, but he’s certain that laying his hands upon Remus’ skin would smother the fire immediately. 

The grounds have gradually begun to fill with more and more students, all milling in their defined cliches and groups, anxiously awaiting the school bell to ring and end this quiet opening to the day. “What’s your first class?” Virgil asks to no one in particular, and five voices reply in near tandem:

“AP World History.”

“And after that I have ‘how to gut a frog class,’ I can't wait to play with its organs,” Remus adds slightly late, licking at his bottom lip. Virgil grimaces.

“Biology,” Janus corrects, “he has biology second.”

“And are you doing well in that class?” Roman teases, all too knowing of the answer.

Remus cackles, showing off his teeth as always, “nope!” Janus snickers behind his hand, always clothed in those damn gloves. But Virgil’s seen below, and Remus has too.

Roman feels something tingling upon every nerve ending, call it careless curiosity, but he softly wishes he knew what those hands felt like. In his mind, he knows, he knows they're just hands. But the mystery intrigues him. He can see the ends of Janus' fingers, and how his left index is covered by a pale patch. He wonders if Janus' hands are gentle, caring, unmarred, or rough with work. Maybe they’re calloused. Does Janus work out? Would he have blisters from weight lifting? Or does he just work cardio?

Why does Roman care? 

“Anyone got plans after school?” Remus questions, rather normally for him.

Patton nods, “my mom wants me to find a job, so she's helping me make my CV and things! I'm hoping to work at Build a Bear!” He grins.

Virgil hums, “that's such a you place to work. Good luck, man,” he kicks the ground, “and yeah, I've got plans. Just alone plans. I plan on walking around listening to music, then playing video games in my room.”

“Decompressing, very smart,” Logan nudges his glasses up his nose, but doesn't say anything else. Virgil had expected him to leap into a lecture about the importance of self care.

“Oh yeah, you gotta spend time on yourself,” Janus agrees, much to everyone's shock. “What? It's important. Self care, and all that stuff. Put yourself first, always. Always.” He tugs on his hoodie. He's wearing it over a long sleeved black top. “I myself am probably going to have a hot bat-”

“Janus and I should probably work on our project!” Roman bursts, ripping his eyes from Janus’ hands at last. He ignores Janus’ confused look as he turns his head to the boy, mouth contorted into a frown. “I mean, it seems sensible. We've not done much. We could at least make a plan. Let's do it at your house!”

“Oh yes, do it,” Remus smirks, “don't do it at our house. Roman's room is always a mess. Not very sexy,” he waggles his finger back and forth and Roman gags in the back of his throat.

“Ew, no! Stop that!” His reaction is awfully defensive, but typically Roman. “I just need a good grade in this class, okay?” 

Janus regains his balance slightly. “Right. Okay then. Sure.” His words are stifled and short, deep ringing pauses between each spat syllable that really don’t last too long, but have Roman’s insides contorting with shame.

The bell rings. Logan huffs.

“So everyone's busy?” Remus whines, tipping his head back in absolute, cartoonish, agony.

Logan pipes up, surprising himself. “I'm free. We could hang out if you'd like? Considering you, ‘fuck with me heavy?’”

Remus beams. “Yes! Please. Oh my god, pleaaaaaaase,” he grabs onto Logan’s arm, rocking back and forth. Logan feels a heat rising to his cheeks. This is much too much. “I'll text you,” the group begin their walk into the school, Virgil splitting off as they start to head down different hallways.

Janus and Remus share a weird sort of sideways high five thing as they walk, and Remus mocks licking his hand after Janus touches his. Janus cackles and flicks his tongue out, still grinning as he saunters down the hallway, both of them just a little ahead of the rest of the pack.

Virgil watches as Patton taps the two of them on the shoulder, seemingly attempting casual conversation.

-

Three new messages in hole gang 2: electric boogaloo.

Roro: I can’t hold back my carnal desires for this new physical education teacher.

Roro: No one talk sense into me, I will have this man.

Roro: #teachercrush 

iNerd: That’s a crime.

Roro: He wants me

iNerd: If he did he’d be facing jail time.

Roro: Let me live in delusion

patton-cake: did you guys know our school has a baking club???

patton-cake: would anyone sign up with me if i went??

Janus: What day is it on?

patton-cake: starts on wednesday!!!

Janus: Darn.

Janus: I wanted to improve my baking skills, Emile loves brownies.

Roro: Who’s Emile?

Janus: My??? Brother??? You know this????

Roro: I forgor [man_shrugging]

Janus: I have a trial shift at Spencers on Wednesday, I can’t tag along. Sorry, Patton.

patton-cake: woaaaaa spencers gifts???

patton-cake: i like their cat t-shirts

virge: i like the bongs 

virge: sorry the “herbal extract inhalers”

virge: for legal reasons

iNerd: Roman purchased me a mug from there for my birthday a few years back. I still have it. It says “I put the hard in hard-drive.” I do not use it in front of my father.

Roro: Classic

rere: sex toys 

Janus: Full range of people right here.

Janus: It’s the only place that would take me.

Janus: Hollister said I didn’t have their “brand look.”

Janus: Which I think means I’m too ugly for them?

rere: they can’t handle ur sex god aura

Janus: Thanks, Remus. 

rere: anytime papa

iNerd: Disgusting.

iNerd: What is it with you and referring to everyone in a paternal way with a sexual twist?

rere: my father left me when i was 7 

rere: keep up ;^]

Roro: He didn’t abandon us!

rere: ur right ur still his facebook friend

rere: he still likes YOU

rere: [eyeroll]

patton-cake: aww :(( thats sad

rere: naw fuck that guy hope he dies

Roro: That’s our father!!

rere: ur father. hes My sperm donor

Roro: We barely talk anymore anyway

Roro: Didn’t even text on our birthday 

iNerd: Explains a lot.

Janus: Buuuurn

virge: u woke me up from my nap u dicks

Roro: Maybe its perfect timing, lunch is in 5

virge: 5 mins of sleep i couldve had 

virge: fuuuuuuuck youuuuuu

Janus: Silence your phone next time?

virge: mr solution over here

virge: what if there had been an emergency and i didnt know cause my phone was on silent hmm????

virge: what then mr problem solver

Janus: Suffer? I don’t know.

virge: :p 

patton-cake: usual seat??? 

patton-cake: got out of class slightly early so im omwww to the cafeteria

virge: yah ill beat the rush and come meet u

rere: r we still invited

iNerd: Of course you are. 

Janus: Not weird at all.

Roro: Mr Sarcasm over here

virge: mr downer

Janus: “mr downer” - the pot, calling the kettle black.

virge: get a load of mr philosophy over here

rere: dont mind if i do ;^]

Roro: Don’t mind if I do

rere: wut

virge: what

Janus: WHAT.

Roro: What?

Roro: C’mon guys Im clearly joking lol

rere: “lets study at ur place so i can suck ur dick”

rere: thats what u sound like rn

Roro: You’re being disgusting. I cant make jokes???

Janus: Mr Comedy over here.

virge: booooo joke thief 

Janus: :P 

rere: roman at ur house ^^

rere: im saying hes gonna

rere: actually no i dont want to think about that 

Janus: Remus not thinking about something gross and Roman making deliberately dirty jokes? When did you two switch phones?

Roro: Oh shut it tramp

Janus: Nevermind, he’s back.

His heart pounds in his chest as Janus slowly ambles towards the cafeteria. He keeps his head held high, doing his very best to appear chill. But he can’t deny something lapping desperately in his stomach. The flames creep ever upwards, tickling at the bottom of his ribs. Each text a piece of kindling, every prolonged glance a scrap of newspaper, each accidental touch a dry twig tossed into the fire. It grows, sparking around his insides, burning him up. When he exhales, a faint stream of smoke floats languidly out. The fire will soon be in his lungs, and he won’t be able to hide the soot spilling from his mouth when it comes. 

He lays a hand upon the cafeteria door only to be roughly shouldered out the way by some burly junior. Janus stumbles and clatters into the wall, groaning and having to stop himself from literally hissing at the boy, instead reaching to rub his arm and trail in behind, muttering obscenities under his breath as he goes. He pauses slightly, scanning the room for anyone he knows, and he flinches intensely when a hand lands on his shoulder.

“Woah, calm down Dr Jekyll or Mr Hyde,” the voice calls, Roman, and Janus whips around, jerking away from the touch violently. “Are you okay?”

“What did you just call me?” The words slither their way past Janus’ teeth, which he grits, fingers grasping the strap of his brown bookbag tightly, clutching it close to his side. 

“Y’know. Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. ‘Cause of the-” Roman gestures a vague circle around the left side of his own face, shrugging and sighing as he moves on. “Doesn’t matter. I’m just asking if you’re okay. You took quite the tumble there, and what sort of man would I be if I didn’t check in on an injured civilian!" His beam is too wide, too white, too enthused. He may not like the guy, but even he doesn’t like to see people unjustly attacked. He thinks? Maybe? Really, he’s thought about fighting Janus on more than one occasion. There goes the pendulum swing again, his moral compass spinning in disorientated circles. The enemy of his enemy is his friend, but is Janus really either of those? Who is Janus even the enemy of? Virgil, maybe. But Virgil isn’t his enemy, just his friend. So the enemy of his friend is his enemy? Then again, Virgil seems to be nudging the door to reconciliation open, even if hesitantly. And even if Virgil were his enemy, that would make Janus his friend. Which they aren’t… Where was he going with this again?

Janus clicks his tongue with frustration, his shoulder remains warm, cracking open. He ignores the steam that seeps out. “I’m fine,” he grits, droplets of spit firing from his lips. 

“He really shoved you though, do you not want me to defend your honour?” Roman’s hand once more claps down upon Janus’ shoulder, and before the heat can even begin to infiltrate, Janus shoves his hand off.

“Defend my honour? Where the fuck is this coming from? Can you just go back to thinking I’m a weird little freak?” Janus narrows his eyes. What’s the agenda here? What’s the cause of this sudden change? 

Roman’s smile wavers and he stuffs his hands into his coat pockets as casually as he can manage, shrugging. “I just hate bullies,” he lands on the weak explanation, watching Janus roll his eyes and wander off to the cafeteria table that Patton and Virgil have situated themselves at. He lets out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding, and deflates onto himself a tad. Why did he do that? He feels a little out of body, as though something else demanded the movement of his feet, and compelled his hands to touch, willed his mouth to move. It’s like switching seats when a cop comes to the car, he’s aware he had just been driving, but now he’s tossed aside. Maybe part of his subconscious taking over? That hero complex he had been told he has (from Logan.) That must be it, obviously. 

He makes his way over to join the group, hips swaying with their usual swagger as he slips into the seat next to Virgil and across from Janus. The boy has busied himself fishing lunch from his bag, although to call it lunch would be an overstatement. His meal consists of a ziplock bag with a handful of baby carrots and loose potato chips tossed together, and a thermal flask. There could be anything in there, from coffee to soup. A curiosity gnaws at Roman’s mind, chewing on the parts of his brain that stop him from saying dumb shit. 

Janus huffs as he opens the bag, looking rather unimpressed, nose scrunched up. Roman tilts his head to the side and the question is clumsily tumbling out his mouth before he can register the thought at all. “Is that all you're having?” 

The boy's head snaps up, eyes weary and tired. “Well, I thought Remus was buying me lunch today. But since we're sitting with you lot, I didn't have much time to think through my packing this morning,” he crunches down harshly on a baby carrot, teeth snapping it easily. It feels a little threatening. But Roman has never been one to turn from danger.

“So you thought, yes, baby carrots and chips?” He chuckles, fishing his own lunch from his bag. His mother had packed it for him.

Janus sticks his tongue out but doesn't comment further, staring down at his food. He unscrews the lid of his thermal, taking a large gulp, trying to hide the fact he burns his tongue, muttering a near silent, “too hot.” 

“Where is Remus anyway?” Patton pipes up, taking a long drink from the plastic bottle of strawberry milk Roman had so kindly gifted him that morning.

“Lunch line,” Virgil muses, “with Logan.”

“Those two sure are spending a lot of time together,” Janus hums, “I wonder what they’re plotting.”

“Why is it always the plotting with you?” Virgil waggles his finger across the table at Janus, eyebrows raised. His food always looks incredible. His mother puts great care into Virgil’s lunches, all sorted into different segments of his box, kimchi, rolled egg, and rice remain staples, swapped out with whatever meat they have on hand in the house. 

Janus shrugs, chewing on another carrot. “Are you telling me they aren't plotting something? Do you have any proof?” He purrs, “no you're right, the smartest guy we know is hanging out with the scariest one, and that's not concerning at all.”

Virgils seems to mull over this for a moment, chewing on it over and over. He swallows before he replies. “Yeah, I wonder what they're up to.” 

Vindicated, Janus fans his hands out, narrowly missing hitting Roman in the face. The boy looks lost, picking at the bread of his sandwich, brows knit tight together. 

Patton bites a gummy candy in half, talking as he chews. “I think it's sweet!” He announces, “them being friends. It's nice. Logan isn't very good at… making friends,” there's a brief flash of shame that swims across his features as his head falls slightly. Really, they'd all been friends with Logan since he was friends with Roman, and from there, it had flourished, yes. However it had been… difficult to get used to his little Logan-isms. 

But Janus chuckles. “Neither is Remus,” he notes. 

Patton chews thoughtfully. “How did the two of you meet anyway?”

Roman cranes his head, he's definitely not heard this story before. He'd never thought to ask. 

“Sixth grade,” Janus announces after swallowing his mouthful, dabbing the corners of his mouth with the back of his hand. He manages to make it look graceful, effortless. “During the first week, Remus absolutely decked some random kid, I don't know the reason, all I knew was that the moment I saw a fight going on I wanted the weird one to win. Like, Remus isn't a bulky guy, he's tall, yeah, but everyone thought he was gonna lose. And I mean, he had a bleeding nose but you should've seen the other guy,” Janus' mouth spreads into a grin, remembering himself creeping up to the small circle of cheering twelve year olds, jeering and chanting. 

It was all he could hear, the hyperactive screaming, and then the various grunts and smacks of two kids, on the ground, attempting to pummel each other. He'd managed to sneak around into the middle of the cluster, peering curiously, watching as the one he would later find out is Remus, slammed the other boy into the floor, snarling. The fight had been broken up fairly quickly, both boys dragged to the office and the nurse, but despite the blood trickling from his nose, Remus had been beaming, knowing he'd won. And Janus, in a moment of spontaneity, had clapped Remus on the back as he passed, cheering for him. He hadn't even known his name, but Remus had responded with a whoop of his own, struggling in the grip the vice principal. Later, at lunch, Remus had found Janus sitting alone in the grass and plopped down next to him, detention slip crumpled in hand. 

“Good times,” Janus doesn't relay the full tale to the three gathered at the table, merely grins and fiddles with the zipper on his hoodie. “Bonded over cigarettes I think? I'm not sure. I started smoking the summer before middle school, Remus about the same if I remember correctly.” Janus tosses a glaring look at Roman, “so to correct the insult you've muttered at me so many times, I did not infect your brother. He's always been just as fucked up as me.”

Patton huffs quietly under his breath, “so you were twelve? That’s so sad,” Janus ignores him, but the comment prompts him to turn back to his food, suddenly silent. 

“Hello,” Logan calls slowly, sliding into the spare seat by Roman, Remus shimmying into the seat next to Janus. He places his tray down gently, in harsh contrast to the way Remus drops his. “Are we talking about anything interesting?” He picks lazily at the rather unappealing school lunch of soggy looking nuggets. There’s peas in one section of the tray, and a lame slice of cake in another; he'd also selected a fruit cup. He fumbles with a mayonnaise packet, and Virgil visibly grimaces, sticking his tongue out. 

“Janus was telling us the very vague story of how he and Remus became friends,” Roman states with his usual flair, punctuating his sentence with a large bite of his sandwich. 

Remus grins, “oh that was awesome, I don’t even know why I was fighting him. But I totally won,” he chomps down hard on a nugget, sliding his chocolate milk across the table to Janus, and offering him some food off his tray. Janus takes it silently, holding it with the very tips of his fingers in an attempt to avoid getting any grease or crumbs on his gloves. “He went to a different high school, but what I wouldn’t give for round two.”

“Your thirst for violence never fails to amaze me,” Janus rolls his eyes, though affectionate, and takes a sip from the drink Remus had passed his way. 

“Thank you,” he grins his usual toothy smile, turning his head Logan’s way, watching the peculiar way he pushes his food around, arranging it before he can eat. “What are you doing?”

“It can’t touch,” Logan answers as though it’s perfectly normal for an eighteen year old to do. “I have always appreciated how the school provides these helpful trays. Everything stays in its own section, but I don’t want the nuggets to touch each other. Sharing oils. One might become soggier than the other due to sponging off each other. And I want them all to be the same.”

Remus hums, bobs his head in agreement, before sopping ketchup over his remaining food, a drop landing on the cookie he’d selected over the cake. Logan visibly grimaces, but slowly he begins to eat, making sure every bite is the same. Such polar opposites.

“So nitpicky, L,” Virgil points out gently, although they’ve all become quite well adjusted to Logan’s antics at this point. A picture of poise, an immovable mountain — that will throw a fit if his carrots touch his potatoes. It’s just the way he is. The juxtaposition of his intelligence and his ‘quirks.’

“Can’t blame a guy for seeking perfection,” Roman shrugs, polishing off the rest of his sandwich, wiping at his mouth. Janus stares at him from across the table, unblinking. There’s an unreadable expression on his face, like he’s trying to work Roman out from the inside. Roman thinks he’s rather an open book, or maybe… maybe like one of those diaries with the lock that can be opened by almost any key. He has his secrets, but the best people have a little mystery. That’s what he thinks anyway. Maybe he’s buried some feelings so deep, even he can’t tell he’s hiding them.

But Janus is looking so intently, there’s something scratching at Roman’s stomach. It must be disdain. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” he nudges gently, leaning ever so slightly across the table. 

“You have peanut butter on your cheek,” Janus sneers back, the lie hot and heavy on his tongue. It’s an instantaneous response, slipping from his lips on a hiss. There is nothing on Roman’s cheek, yet he still wipes furiously, and it brings a tickled smile to Janus’ face.

Roman pauses, “there wasn’t any peanut butter on this sandwich…”

Patton collapses into little giggles, not even trying to stifle them. He should disagree with Janus lying, but he could argue it wasn’t a lie. It was a joke! 

Remus tosses a piece of mango from his fruit cup at Roman’s head, it slaps off his cheek. “Now you’ve got peanut butter on your face.”

“That was mango.”

“Close enough,” Virgil grins, attempting to hide behind his hands. 

Logan smiles fondly at Remus, shaking his head gently as he plucks at peas. No one’s looking at him, not paying him much attention. Sometimes he likes being a silent observer. More often than not he’s enthused to be in the fray, wrapped in the chatter and the gossip, but this lunch period he’s resigned himself to taking mental notes about everyone's interactions. The way Virgil responds in kind to some of Janus’ snarkier comments directed at the others in the group, how Patton laughs along to the ridiculousness, how Roman continues to make a mild fool of himself, but is clearly holding back any ill feelings for the time being. And Remus is so… unabashedly himself. Throwing things, talking with his mouth full, poking at Janus’ side as always, and getting straight into conversation with the group. Logan tunes back in slightly, not taken aback by Janus’ eyes transfixed on his own. He seems to have been examining the way Logan studied the scene, especially Remus. Inception. Janus raises one eyebrow, only a shift, gone as soon as it happens, but Logan flushes, caught red handed. 

What is he doing? 

Remus tosses another piece of fruit at his brother, and it lands on his lap. Roman grimaces, throwing it back.

“Bitch, I will kill you.”

“With what?” Remus perks up, licking his lips clean of juice.

“...My sword and violence?”

“Oooooh! My favourite!”

“Freak.”

“You know it.”

Chapter Text

rere has opened a private chat with iNerd.

rere: ok what we doin today

iNerd: Remus, I’m in class. 

rere: okkkkk u still red my message

iNerd: I don’t usually check my messages during class.

rere: awwww im special [kissy_face]

rere: fr tho what u wanna do

iNerd: I’m not particularly bothered. 

rere: ur not nearly excited enufffff

rere: lets hang at mine 

rere: my mom might be in ???

iNerd: Ah, that’s alright. You know I’m well acquainted with Miss Costa.

rere: still pissed she wouldnt let me take her last name when dad left 

rere: remus costa has such a good ring to it

rere: remus royal makes me sound like a stuck up snide child abandoning bitch face

iNerd: Right…

iNerd: So, your house after school?

rere: yuh huhhhhhh thats the plan baby

iNerd: Baby?

rere: baby babe bae buster buddy daddy

rere: all the same rlly take ur pick

rere: shit teach is here ok byeeee loghead see u l8r

iNerd: Until next time.

Logan presses his fingers into the side of his neck, feeling for a pulse. His heart pounds hard and fast against his chest, as though he’s been running for miles. But he hasn’t. He’s sitting patiently in his AP chemistry class, waiting for it to be over. He almost doesn’t trust his senses, doesn’t trust his ribs to count the beats of his hammering heart, doesn’t trust his scrambled brain to understand his fluttered breathing. Logan relies on rock solid facts, and as he searches for his pulse, he tightens his shoulders. The pace is confirmed, his heart is rapid, dear lord is he about to have a major myocardial infarction? 

There’s a droplet of sweat gathering by his hairline, his whole body on fire with a sudden onset of heat as he subtly glances back down at his phone, studying the messages once again. The lines are hard to read between, though he always thought Remus was difficult to interpret anyway. There never appears to be any semblance of rhyme or reason to what he does, he just… does. He doesn’t consider the consequences, never thinks anything through, and outright refuses to filter his thoughts for anyone. He should be infuriating. But he isn’t. He’s endearing. And that’s terrifying to Logan.

He can’t deny the simple fact any longer. He’s interacted with the boy for a week and he’s infatuated. Remus just seems to occupy a strange, unopened, unreached track of Logan’s mind. An area he hasn’t explored since freshman year. Even then, that never felt like this. He never experienced a pull within his brain, a spark rushing through his veins with every look, every touch, every uttered word. Frankly, he’s scared. He doesn’t know what this feeling is — but he has a theory. 

Time to gather some data.

New messages in hole gang 2: electric boogaloo.

iNerd: I wish to pose a scientific question for members of the group available for comment. 

virge: no we wont test ur chemicals in various ways

virge: i never got that orange stain out my sneakers

iNerd: Not that kind of question. I merely wish to collect some insight from a small sample size.

Roro: Fire away compadre!

iNerd: What does it feel like to ‘have a crush,’ and similarly, how can you tell the difference between a ‘crush’/romantic attraction and platonic feelings of interest?

Roro: OH MY GOD?????????

Roro: WHO DO YOU LIKE

Roro: THIS IS HUGE.

iNerd: 1. I’m not answering that. 2. I’m not even certain what I’m experiencing is actually romantic attraction, hence the question.

patton-cake: :OOOO omg lo!!!

iNerd: Can someone please just answer? Is that too much to ask? 

Janus: It’s like you’re on fire from the inside out. Like, every time they touch you, even accidentally, that flame creeps up your spine. And the harder you try to put it out, or ignore it, the hotter it burns.

Janus: Also you fucking hate them so much. I have hated every person I have ever liked for having the Audacity to force me into liking them.

Janus: Love is hate.

virge: mr hate over here

patton-cake: its like wanting to be around them all the time!!! wanting to always be with them and feeling all cozy and safe when you are!!! and a little bit like someone is lighting fireworks inside of your brain when they talk!!! and that something (like a hamster for example) is chewing on your veins every time you see them and you can’t think properlyyyy

virge: (like a hamster for example)

virge: is killing me omg

patton-cake: or a gerbil. it doesn’t need to be a hamster, that’s just an example

virge: a guinea pig question mark

patton-cake: could be!!!!!!

virge: chinchilla ?

patton-cake: i don’t see why not!!

iNerd: Hm. Two interesting responses. Does anyone have any other input?

Roro: It’s everything!!!! They make you feel complete. They make you a better, more accepting, more open person!!! They make butterflies explode in your stomach and your heart sing and your head feel floaty and sweet! It’s admiring everything they do, its not being put off by even their weirdest habits, and wanting to know everything about them! It’s wanting to study them, and knowing you’d get an A+ in (crush’s name) class! It’s the fluttering of your eyelashes without thinking, it’s laughing at all their jokes, it’s taking every excuse to touch them! It’s sharing music, it’s texting under tables! It’s going red and smiling without meaning to! It’s being caught in a constant loop of soaring and plummeting! It’s terrifying and amazing all at once! It’s like being stabbed and kissed in the same breath!

virge: mr romance over here

Roro: I’m just trying to give Logan the best explanation possible!

iNerd: Yes, thank you, Roman. This is very helpful information.

iNerd: Thank you all for the data, I’ll report back once I’ve properly analyzed it. 

virge: dontya want my input 

iNerd: If you’re willing.

virge: its like a constant heart attack

virge: like constantly feeling like ur heart is gonna explode. or ur head. or ur stomach.

virge: and it fucking sucks 

Janus: Mr Doom and Gloom over here.

virge: thats !!!MY!!! joke

iNerd: Hm.

iNerd: Well, thank you again everyone.

iNerd: I have some serious thinking to do.

Roro: WAIT

Roro: Who is he pleaaaaaase

iNerd: I won’t say.

Janus: Is it Roman lol?

Roro: Eugh I hope not

Roro: No offence Lo, but you’re like a brother to me

iNerd: I have no romantic feelings towards you, Roman.

Janus: Ohh then it muuuust be Remus, of course, how silly of me.

iNerd: What no of course not

iNerd: Don’t be ridiculous Janus 

Janus: I’m pulling your leg, Logan. 

iNerd: Right. Of course, yes.

iNerd: It’s not Remus.

iNerd: Let’s drop this topic of conversation.

patton-cake: [one attachment: CV.doc]

patton-cake: help!!!!!

patton-cake: is this good???? >-<

virge: uhhhh

virge: did u put all ur dumb volunteer work on there

patton-cake: of course i did!!!!

Roro: Always smart to volunteer, makes jobs appreciate you more

patton-cake: i didnt do it for the cv!!!

Janus: Then… why… did you… do it? 

patton-cake: you shouldnt do nice things for your own personal gain!

patton-cake: you should do them for the betterment of others!!

Roro: Right but volunteering is also a liiiiiittle bit for your personal gain

Roro: Like I did those staff tours, because it would look amazing on college apps lol

patton-cake: thats not whyyyy you should do it thoooo

Roro: But I still did a good thing

Roro: So why does it matter WHY I did it?

patton-cake: it just does :( 

Janus: So, if you didn’t do the volunteering to make yourself look good, or feel good about helping others. Then really, you shouldn’t put it on your CV. Because now you’re using it to make you look good.

patton-cake: but it’s helpful to have!! it proves im a good person

Janus: Should they not assume you’re a good person? Can’t you prove it to them in some other way? Or does trying to prove it at all make the good actions null and void, since then you’d be doing good simply to make someone think the best of you?

patton-cake: i dont like this conversation anymore :(( 

Janus: Just saying.

virge: pat the cv looks great ignore everyone else 

virge: ur job hunting is in the bag dont even sweat it 

patton-cake: lets hope!! :D yes

Roro: Ofc you’re going to smash it Pat!

Janus: Mm, good luck. 

Janus: I hope you get plenty of offers. 

virge: rude

Janus: ?????????????? Huh?????????

virge: “mmmmmm i hope you get pleeeeenty of offers [eyeroll]”

Janus: That’s not how I meant it. Why would you read it like that?

virge: i read all ur messages like that 

Janus: [eyeroll]

virge: proving my point 

Roro: @iNerd get in here, break this up

patton-cake: thank you janus its appreciated !

Roro: @iNerd who do you have a crush on then?

iNerd: Please, guys, I’m still in class. We should all be paying better attention to our education.

Roro: Education-shmegucation! 

Roro: Who’s the boyyyyy?

iNerd: I will not be disclosing that information.

iNerd: I’m still evaluating my feelings.

virge: yeah roman leave the guy alone he isnt used to having feelings

patton-cake: virgeee thats mean

iNerd: No, Virgil is right. I’m not used to feelings this strong, or the onset of them so quickly.

Roro: It’s a STRONG feeling????

Roro: Duuuuude come on please who is it 

iNerd: Again, I will not divulge. 

Janus: Please? 

iNerd: You want to know?

virge: janus loves gossip

Janus: No I don’t.

virge: he totally does

Janus: Yeah I totally do. Sue me.

iNerd: I will not.

Janus: Thanks, man.

Roro: @Janus who do you have dirt on?

Janus: Everyone.

Janus: Including you.

Janus: Remus tells me everything.

Janus: So don’t test me, bitch.

Roro: Ha! Yeah right like what

Janus: I dunno…

Janus: Maybe the fact that you used to shove Barbie doll shoes up your nose as a child, and one time you forgot to take it out so that day in elementary school you laughed too hard, and the shoe shot out of your nose and across the table? And your teacher lost her poor mind because she thought you were diseased? And you had to sit at a quarantined table until your father came to collect you?

Roro: Cmon dude, I was like 6. Thats not that bad.

Janus: Okay then. 

Janus: How about the time during summer you adopted a ‘bad boy’ persona, stole a cigarette from Remus and coughed so hard you thought you were dying? And when your mom took you to the doctor because you were so frightened, you threw up in the waiting room, got rushed into the office, only for the doctor to tell you AND your mother that you’d choked on your own saliva and it was all in your head?

Janus: Leather jackets and sunglasses are not a good look on you. Especially when you’re sweating like a pig in the heat.

Roro: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT

virge: PFFFFTTTTTTTT

patton-cake: oh roman….

Janus: That's not even the worst one. I have manyyyy stories about you, Roman.

Janus: :) 

Roro: What class is Remus in?

iNerd: Oh, Roman. 

Roro: I need to go have a patient and understanding chat with my brother about boundaries and secrets 

Janus: @rere hide dude.

rere: huh?

rere: oh lol

rere: cum fight me

rere: square UP 

rere: my phones gonna get confiscated ive been caught like 4 times already fuuuuck

Roro: I will find you. 

Roro: After school I will beat the shit out of you.

rere: good luck with that 

rere: ur at my papas house 

Roro: FUCK

Janus: Lol

iNerd: You’re all idiots.

patton-cake: aww :( 

iNerd: Not you, Patton. Never you. 

patton-cake: aww :) 

Remus huffs as he slides his phone into his teacher's hand, head falling down to the table as he does. “You can have this back at the end of the day. Come and collect it from me when the bell rings.”

He simply groans, gripping his pen tightly in his hand, drawing a long line across the top of his page. The margins of his workbook are covered in aggressive doodles, each one scribbled with thick black pen, each slightly concerning. He would describe his style as unique, a reflection of how he sees the world. Others may say it’s ‘creepy’ or ‘disturbing.’ They just don’t see his creative vision. 

It’s difficult to focus, Remus has always thought that. He doesn’t know how other people do it. He wants to pay attention, he wants to just get things done. But there’s so much in the world. He tends to… trail off. Even when his brain is shouting to take notes, or listen to the information being spewed in his direction. He’ll zone out without realising, he’ll start to draw, or he’ll notice a poster on the wall he hasn’t read before and find himself intrigued by it. Or his leg will bounce, or he’ll fiddle with his pockets, or become very aware of his tangled necklaces and suddenly nothing will matter more than getting them to sit properly. He just finds it hard. Maybe he doesn’t have enough willpower, everyone else around him seems perfectly able to struggle through distraction. Surely everyone else also notices the things he does? Like the lights buzzing, or the broken blinds that move strangely in the breeze, or the fact that sitting on these hard plastic chairs means he can feel every inch of fabric on his skin. How is everyone else just… toughing through it?

He’s tuned out again, snapping his head up swiftly in an attempt to catch up. What were they even talking about? How long ago did he stop listening? The clock on the wall is a little blurry, and Remus should probably get his eyes tested, but that seems like so much effort. And he wants to bring it up but there’s like some mental block that he can’t seem to shove past. 

The bell rings, and Remus panics. Fingers crossed today’s lesson gets put up on the portal, or he’s screwed. He doesn’t even share this class with anyone he’s friends with, he can’t ask anyone for notes. That’s shit. He can’t even check his class schedule to see what he has next because he doesn’t have his fucking phone.

He huffs dramatically as he exits the room, hanging his head as he passes the teacher in hopes of scoring a few sympathy points. It doesn’t work, the teacher just turns his head away, tapping mindlessly on his outdated computer. 

Roro has opened a private chat with Janus.

Roro: Hey Daffy Duck I need to ask you smth

Janus: Daffy Duck?

Roro: Hes a compulsive liar!

Janus: I dunno, this one feels a little farfetched. 

Roro: Like the duck pokemon.

Janus: …What?

Janus: What the fuck are you talking about?

Janus: What do you want?

Roro: Okay duck man

Janus: ??????????

Roro: Question time

Janus: What.

Janus: What do you want? Spit it out.

Roro: Do you have any information about who Logan is into?

Roro: Did he mention anything whilst hanging out with you and Remus???

Janus: Wow, you’re asking me?

Roro: Patton and Virgil had no ideas 

Roro: I’m really scraping the bottom of the info barrel now 

Janus: Of course.

Janus: He didn’t mention any boys, no.

Roro: Did he do anything weird???

Janus: I dunno, dude. I don’t know him that well.

Janus: Haven’t you two been friends for like, ever? Surely he would tell you first, before anyone else.

Roro: Idk. Im worried he doesnt trust me super bad rn

Janus: Damn, Roman “Confidence” Royal is insecure?

Janus: I didn’t know you were capable of feelings this complex.

Roro: Oh fuck you

Roro: Idk I know I upset him recently 

Roro: But Im sooooooo nosy

Roro: Soooooooooo

Janus: I’m not sure what’s categorised as ‘weird’ for Logan.

Roro: He’s stuck up and blunt. He doesn’t do any of this ~ feeling ~ stuff, yk? 

Janus: I dunno. He seemed normal? 

Janus: He let us talk at him for a bit, let Remus take one of his last fries, I dunno?

Janus: When I came out of Spencers after my interview he was listening to music with your brother. 

Janus: Pretty normal, chill stuff. 

Janus: And then he celebrated with us, which was when you guys walked up, obviously. 

Roro: He was listening to music??? WITH Remus????

Janus: Yeah? Is that weird to you?

Roro: Sharing earbuds?

Janus: Obviously, how else?

Roro: That weird

Janus: Is it though?

Roro: Logan thinks all that stuff is unsanitary as fuck

Janus: Is it possible he was just feeling awkward?

Janus: I did kind of leave him stranded outside with Remus. You and I both know he can be… a lot.

Roro: Fair point 

Roro: You have given me satisfactory information. Be gone with you.

Janus: Fuck you, man.

Roro: See you later tho?

Janus: Yeah, whatever.

Roro: Saweeeeet!

Janus: God, you’re just as weird as your brother. Just in different ways.

Roro: Excuse me!!!!!

Janus: You’re excused. Now, be gone with you.

Roro: DAAAAAMN

Roro: See yaaaa bitch

Read. 

-

It’s a mad dash when the bell rings, and Patton finds himself being jostled between quite a few shoulders, clutching the straps to his backpack. He’d always thought he’d feel bigger, taller, more powerful by the time he got to senior year. After all, when he was a freshman he’d looked up to the older kids, admired their suaveness, their ability to glide, untouched, through the halls. Yet, he still felt small. Eighteen years old, and letting fifteen year olds elbow him as they charged past. He finds himself filled with an urge to shove back, to kick and push his way to the front, demand authority. And quite quickly, that anger is replaced by an overwhelming guilt. He shouldn’t be thinking like that — it’s an ugly, sinful thought, to wish harm upon his fellow man.