Chapter Text
patton-cake has opened a private chat with iNerd.
patton-cake: thanks for running to the store with me lo!!! my mom just gave me some cash so i can pay you back on mon???
patton-cake: unless you wanna hang out before thennnn :3
patton-cake: i am asking to hang out
patton-cake: no pressure
patton-cake: he says. spamming until he gets an answer
iNerd: You’ll do anything but study, huh?
patton-cake: yeeeeees :3
patton-cake: i WAS supposed to work on my project with remus today but apparently he has ‘urgent business’ to attend to
patton-cake: i didnt ask anymore… becos knowing him its something weeeeeeird
iNerd: He’s not that bad, Patton.
iNerd: Roman is an obviously biased source. We should really spend more time with them, especially since he’s integrated into our group-chat now.
patton-cake: oh im sure theyre great!!!!! im just intimidated lololol
iNerd: However, yes I wouldn’t mind seeing you over the weekend. You’re a lot of fun, Pat.
patton-cake: AWWWWWWWWWW
patton-cake: I LOVE YOU TOO LO <333333
iNerd: I never said that.
patton-cake: you were thinking itttttt
iNerd: I suppose you’re correct.
One new message in hole gang.
pissy: @virge @patton-cake @iNerd
pissy has changed their nickname to Roro .
Roro: Hey guys I’m heading back from the gym just now if anyone wants to come round and chill in liiiiiike
Roro: 45 minutes???
Roro: So I have time to shower and change and whatevaaaa
patton-cake: YES YES YES YES YES YES
virge: sure ill do anything to avoid homework
iNerd: I’ll ask my father. But that should be okay.
dookie: um??????????
dookie: excuse me???????
Roro: I dont have to invite you Remus, you live here
dookie: duhhh i know that
dookie: but
dookie: @J-anus and i r literally sitting in the living room rn
dookie: ur gonna interrupt our Hot Date
Roro: Then go somewhere else??
dookie: no fuck u i live here
dookie: and i got here first
dookie: BITCH
patton-cake: your date was urgent business?
dookie: soz patton i didnt want to study and my hubby was free
patton-cake: i understand!! (i also dont want to study) :3
dookie: >:3
iNerd: I don’t understand why we can’t just hang out as a big group. That could be fun?
Roro: You're joking right
iNerd: When do I ever do that?
Roro: You want to hang out with my loser brother
dookie: be careful when u get home ill be hiding and waiting
virge: yeaaaa i dunno
patton-cake: could be fun!
patton-cake: i think
iNerd: Well, it could be a chance for us to get to know each other a little. And Virgil, maybe we could start to leave the past in the past?
virge: …
dookie: x to doubt
Roro: Even Remus is against this Logan
iNerd: I’m usually right, so maybe actually listen for once?
patton-cake: eeeek he has a point
patton-cake: virgeeeee we’ll leave the deciding to you?
virge: fuuuuuck off
virge: fine
virge: lets All hang out together
J-anus: I’m sure we won’t regret this…
Roro: You were here the whole time and didnt say anything???
J-anus: None of you ever care about my input so I just watched. :)
dookie: ill go on a snack run >:^]
Roro: Nothing gross
dookie: everyone can meet veeder!!!!
Roro: That fucking lizard is ruining my life
patton-cake: ill be therre in 40 :3 mom giving me a lift
iNerd: My father said yes, I’ll be there in 40 minutes too. Do you want me to grab any soda on the way?
J-anus: Cream soda, please.
J-anus: I’ll pay you back, promise.
virge: u still owe me 3$
J-anus: What’s your Venmo?
virge: nvm
J-anus: :P
“Ah, the classic cream soda test,” Remus hums, laying on the couch. His feet are up and over the back, socks pressed into the wall as he dangles his head close to the floor. He’s a little cross-eyed as he stares at his phone, watching the group conversation fizzle out and die without much explosion.
Janus rolls his eyes, skipping through his Spotify playlist - hooked up to the Bluetooth speaker placed in the middle of the living room. It’s pumping out a steady stream of soft rock, with a couple of Remus’ picks tossed in for good measure. “I just want some.” He picks at his nails, glancing up from his screen, “what’s the cream soda test? You’re just making shit up now.”
“Nah, it’s something you just made up,” Remus pulls himself back up onto the couch, throwing his weight at Janus, landing on his shoulder with a heavy thud. “He’s read the message, if he brings the drink you want, you know he’s actually trying to make amends. If he doesn’t, then you know he doesn’t care all that much.” Remus breathes heavily into Janus’ neck, threatening to lick him. Not outloud. Janus just knows when the other gets a mischievous look in his eye, and times his dart, duck, and dodge accordingly.
He scoffs, tilting his head away from Remus as the boy lunges to lick him. They don’t mention it. “Right, sure. I don’t even care, Re.” Remus shoots him a skeptical look, running his fingers through matted hair. It’s a deep brown (other than the thick silver patch), straight, and flicking up under his ears. Janus wears a hat everywhere he goes, no matter what, just to avoid styling his own. “I don’t. But I have this weird feeling we’re gonna be seeing them a lot this year. I mean, three years of high school with minimum contact, and now I’m taking your brother on school runs? It’s weird.” He shrugs, taking a gloved hand back to his mouth, picking at the peeling nails with his teeth, and tugging away a fleck of dried skin. Janus tries to take good care of his hands and nails, but they dry out easily, and wearing his fingerless gloves everywhere doesn’t help much.
“You’re not sly, Dolos.” Remus shrugs, shimmying his shoulders to the music. “It’s gonna be so awkward when they all get here,” he comments under his breath, a smile slowly creeping its way onto his cheeks.
Janus hums in agreement, “don’t remind me. I’m so excited, I’m so happy to be thinking about it.”
“I can’t wait!”
“I’m home!” Roman shouts from the front door as it swings open, clattering against the entranceway wall. He sticks his head through the living room door, finds Remus with his chin on Janus’ shoulder, and Janus staring down at his phone. The music is changing rapidly whilst Remus mutters a stream of, ‘too sad, too slow, too fast, come on Janus just pick a song already!’
“Sorry to interrupt whatever the hell is going on here,” he pulls a face, and the two barely glance up at him. “I’m going in the shower, so the top floor bathroom is out of bounds.”
Janus glances over to the door and looks blankly at Roman. He’s still dressed from the gym, white vest and red basketball shorts - he’s still wearing that stupid chain. His hair is damp from sweat, and he looks… gross? Janus can’t really say. Remus’ touch burns against him, and he knocks him off swiftly. The boy complains. “Alright. I think we’re doing a snack run?”
“I want peanut m&m’s,” Remus enthuses, licking his lips.
“Patton’s allergic to nuts,” Roman interjects, studying the complex look Janus keeps angling his way.
Remus huffs like this news has devastated him to his very core, “fine, we’ll get peanut butter ones instead.”
“Say that again, slowly,” Roman narrows his eyes, unamused. He runs a hand through his hair, adjusting the headphones that hang around his neck.
“Ughhhhh, fine, God, pretzels. We’ll ditch m&m’s all together. Mood killer. I want pretzels.”
“I take it I’m paying?” Janus rolls his head on his shoulders to meet Remus’ eye, who flutters his lashes.
“Yes please,” he fakes kissing Janus on the cheek, eyes still wide. He cackles afterwards and, as always, flicks the brim of his cap. “Let’s go. Prince Pompous has to shower,” Remus sneers, “instead of just smelling like sweat. Dude rolls on deodorant instead of eating it. Everyone knows chewing deodorant makes you smell good from the inside out.” Remus states it like fact, tone indiscernible from the one a teacher would take during class.
“You barely use deodorant,” Janus fires his rebuttal, rising from his seat and pausing his music. He fishes car keys out his pocket and whistles to get Remus to follow. He slides past Roman without meeting his eye, their hips brush together as he goes, and Janus flinches away as though the touch burns. Strange. He doesn’t mind physical touch, with Remus he rather enjoys it, the “rat-man” is awfully affectionate, always poking or prodding or licking. But whenever Janus comes face to face with the other Royal twin, he finds any sort of touch sparking a match within his belly, using his insides as kindling. And he’d much rather quench that fire while he still can.
“I eat it all really fast, dude,” is the last thing Roman hears as the two scurry out the house, the door shutting loudly behind them.
He lets out the breath he’d been holding. With the two gone, he feels a little more comfortable stepping into the shower. As he paces up the stairs, he allows his mind to go ever so slightly blanker, pushing all thoughts to the side. He has a step-by-step plan to focus on, something to draw into before the evening descends into unmanageable chaos. Up the stairs, strip, get into the shower (focus super hard on keeping mind blank), wash hair, wash body, wash hair again, towel dry hair, get ready. It’s easy. It’s simple. It’s a step-by-step guide to success.
Step one and two go by without a hitch, he turns the shower on and steps inside, tilting his face up into the water, letting out a blissed exhale. And then, as he’s massaging rose scented shampoo into his hair, it happens. He wanders. He thinks about Janus flinching at the accidental touch, he thinks about everything he knows about the guy. He realises it’s not a lot. He’s friends with Remus, he has a little brother, and he has… a tumultuous past with Virgil. Some sort of messy, finicky friendship ending argument? Like… a friend breakup. That was how it’d been explained at least. Roman knows very little, Virgil said very little. He’d just sobbed as Logan, Patton, and himself sat crowded around his bed, and occasionally launched into a rant about how Janus was a ‘cunt’ and ‘broke his heart.’ He’d cried into Roman’s shoulder as he’d spoken about the cruel words they’d exchanged, about the fight. And now, as he stands under the incessant spray, shampoo running down his forehead, he realises the details had been very vague. Like Virgil had been holding back the truth, or at least part of it.
Shampoo dribbles into Roman’s eye and he hisses at the burn, furiously scrubbing at his face, turning to massage his hair quickly. He’s been standing here far too long, he’s going to have to skip his second hair wash.
“Shit,” he mutters, washing away soap suds after conditioning his hair, and scrubbing his body. He can’t be sure how long he has before his friends arrive, but he dashes from the bathroom, grabbing his phone as he goes.
Three new messages from hole gang.
iNerd: I’ve started walking, I should arrive in the next ten minutes?
iNerd: I have cream soda. @J-anus.
patton-cake: just jumping in the car!!! i brought pyjamas :3
Roro: Okay!! Awesome, I’m just changing now
Roro: See yall soooon
virge: yah ill be 15
J-anus: Thanks @iNerd
dookie: we @ store
dookie: my cart is full as fuuuck rn. im snackmaxxing.
J-anus: My wallet’s going to be empty.
patton-cake: snacks!!!!! (can you get cookies) (and chips)
dookie: duhhhhhh
dookie: and pretzels
virge: oh gross
iNerd: No problem, Janus.
“Fuck, fuck,” Roman hops around, trying to worm socks onto his feet, and simultaneously pull up his lounge shorts. He’ll be damned if he relaxes in jeans. His hair is still dripping wet, and he desperately tries to dry it as much as he can in his limited time period, wrestling the towel against his head, huffing with effort.
When the doorbell rings, his hair is still damp, fringe hanging in wet strands in front of his face. But he can’t leave Logan standing outside, so he curses to the wind, straightens his posture and throws on the thin white sweater he’d left over his desk chair, dashing downstairs.
“Hello, Roman. Your hair’s wet,” is the first thing out Logan’s mouth when he pulls the door open, stepping inside with careful practice.
“Astute as always, Lo,” Roman takes the two bottles from his arms, letting Logan take off his shoes. He places them carefully side by side, pushing his black hair from his face and fixing his glasses as they slide down his nose. “You’re the first one here!”
Logan shoots Roman a short smile. It’s miraculous they’re friends - two people, so incredibly different, on such a fundamental level, and yet they find themselves in quite a beautiful friendship. They had grown up together, so perhaps it does make sense that Logan is the most enthusiastic to start including Roman’s brother in some activities, they’d shared all the same classes and nap times since kindergarten. “I didn’t pick up any food, sorry. I can only carry so much.”
“Eh, I promise, we have more than enough,” Roman shrugs it off as he leads Logan to the living room, placing down the soda bottles on the coffee table. He fumbles with the Bluetooth speaker (Remus’s) and attempts to connect his phone, succeeding upon his third try clicking ‘pair.’ “Mom always stocks up before she vanishes to see her dad, and Remus can never go easy at the store, they’ll come back with enough to feed an army.”
Logan chuckles, fitting into his usual place on the couch - Roman doesn’t stop to consider where Remus and Janus are going to sit, because Logan’s ‘usual’ spot is the same dent in the couch facing the door that the two… stranger ones - tend to park themselves. It’ll be fine.
The doorbell sounds again, and this time the door opens without Roman grabbing it.
“Hey!” Patton calls out from the hallway, and he can be heard almost tripping over his own feet trying to kick his shoes off without undoing the laces. “Woo,” he exhales, skipping into the room, “I’ll send you a postcard next time!” His backpack bounces off his back as he comes to a stop. He’s clutching a board game under his right arm, left hand outstretched in a wave. “Logan, long time no see!”
“I saw you two hours ago- ah, I understand,” Logan nods, realising his mistake half way through the sentence, “humour.”
Patton giggles as he drops into the cushions next to Logan, dropping his board game at his feet. “I brought Monopoly! In case we… run out of things to talk about…” His voice tilts into an awkward whisper and he shifts with uncertainty. Roman swallows back a lump in his throat. He’s almost wishing Remus and Janus decide to detour back to… Anywhere else. He prays they don’t show up. Just for simplicity's sake. Perhaps it’s cruel to wish his brother would fuck off once in a while, especially since they’ve pretended the other doesn’t exist within school walls since 6th grade, but Remus is a lot and Roman is a lot. They exhaust each other.
“Good plan, an escape plan might be more useful.” Roman half jokes, his laugh unconvincing as he hovers in the middle of the room, eyes darting between his friends, and the front door.
The doorbell does not ring, but there’s a loud knocking. Roman goes to answer.
“Jack Smellington!” Roman exclaims, arms outstretched.
Virgil rolls his eyes, affectionately, and returns the gesture. “Doctor Do-The-Most!”
“Get inside,” Roman nudges him as he passes, has to remind Virgil to take his shoes off, and listens as the others welcome him in. Split second decision, he grabs his keys off the bottom step - and locks the door.
“Now everyone’s here,” Roman clears his throat, plopping himself on the second couch with Virgil, the two of them at opposite ends of the sofa. The living room is large, a wide TV mounted on the wall across from Roman, and a second couch with Patton and Logan on the joining wall. “Let the hang commence!”
“Everyone is not here, Roman,” Logan pinches the bridge of his nose, a movement Roman is all too familiar with. “Do you always have to be so difficult?”
“Yes!” He points across the room at him, reaching to open a large two litre soda bottle. “Wait, glasses!” He dashes off to the kitchen, scurrying to grab four glasses for the group.
He misses the keys jingling in the lock and the door swinging open, too busy whistling to himself.
“You dick!”
He doesn’t miss the insult.
Roman sticks his head into the living room again, and is met with an angered brother, still standing in his boots, glaring back at him. “You tried to lock me out again!”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Roman blinks as innocently as he can manage, holding the cups in his arms. Behind Remus, Janus stands, one hand over his mouth, stifling laughter. In his other hand, he clutches a grocery bag brimming with snacks.
Remus narrows his eyes, strutting past his twin, “I’m going to kill you one day,” he whispers as he overtakes him, just loud enough for everyone to hear. He pauses in the centre of the room, pointing at Logan and Patton. “You’re in my seat.”
“Oh!” Patton immediately leaps to his feet, “sorry, sorry, sit!”
“Don’t move for him, Patton. You snooze, you lose. He… snoze. So he lost.” Roman stumbles through his sentence, cringing. In the background, he can hear Janus humming as he removes his shoes and advances into the room, bag in hand. He gives a courteous wave to the group, nods politely at Virgil, and seats himself in the spot Roman had previously been sitting in. He doesn’t say anything, just begins to lay out various food items on the table, and fiddles with Remus’ speaker.
“Okay, Janus, I was just sitting there,” Roman points out, ignoring the way Remus hisses hypocrite, nudging Janus up the couch with his foot so he can take the spot with the arm rest. It seems no one notices the wide stare Janus gives his friend as he moves one person closer to Virgil.
“You snooze, you lose,” Janus sneers, looking up at Roman through his lashes, gaze shadowed by his cap. A dagger strikes Roman in the chest, and he grimaces, gritting his teeth as he’s forced to accept defeat and slot himself between Janus and Virgil.
“I can sit on the other couch,” Virgil offers, “I know it’s smaller, but I don’t mind squishing up with Pat and L, three and three.”
“Oh no, Emo Nightmare, you are not abandoning me,” Roman hisses, turning his phone on and hitting shuffle on his ‘Future College Roommates’ playlist.
Remus squeaks as he starts to remove his shoes, “you’ve said that before to Virgil too, Jan.”
“Shut up,” the boy replies, fishing his phone out, seemingly already checking himself out of the conversation. He sits hunched over his knees, chin in one hand, bag of pretzels in his lap. Remus snatches them away, tongue out.
The other four remain silent.
Patton clears his throat, “hey, you brought cookies! Triple chocolate,” he gently rips open the seal, stealing two for himself. Damn, already into second cookie territory. “Awesome,” he mumbles, pursing his lips.
“Well,” Logan starts, “how was everyone’s day?”
“Awful,” Virgil glares around Roman’s torso, looking Janus up and down, before flicking his eyes back to Logan, “narrowly avoided detention. I still don’t understand why I can’t have my hood up. How is that distracting anyone?”
“Your fashion is so horrendous, it’s making people sick. That’s why you need to keep your hood down,” Roman teases, pouring himself some soda and grabbing a cookie. He passes one to Virgil too, in order to ease the insult.
Virgil rolls his eyes, “you should be kicked out of school then, you’ll start another fucking pandemic with your basic ass choices.”
“I had a good day,” Patton smiles, “algebra was okay for once. I sit with Logan’s project partner, he’s a nice guy. We chatted about basketball for a bit, and he showed me a photo of his cat. So, at least an eight out of ten,” he can’t stop his eyes from trailing to Remus, who looks vastly uninterested, busying himself by typing on his phone. He just wants everyone to get along a little better. He wants to ease some animosity. “And now I’m eating a cookie! So, even better! Thanks again, guys.”
“Huh?” Remus glances up, smudging some of his lashline eyeliner when he rubs his eye, “oh yeah,” a smirk makes its way onto his face, “it’s cookie roulette. One in there is poisoned.”
Patton’s face falls, and then rises again as he giggles, continuing to chew.
Logan watches on as the conversation continues.
“I saw the hot phys ed teacher again today,” Roman muses, getting lost in thought.
J-anus has opened a private chat with dookie.
J-anus: Let’s play 8 ball! [Link]
J-anus: Another round, your majesty?
dookie: prepare to get another ass kicking my liege
J-anus: Nah, those were just warm up rounds.
dookie: prepare to die
“What about you, Janus, Remus? Did you have satisfactory days?” Logan clears his throat before he speaks, he always does if he’s been silent for a second. He speaks with diction, with purpose, he commands a room - and the two mentioned look up.
They share a glance.
“It was fine,” Janus drawls, face scrunching up as he pops a pretzel in his mouth. He chews, swallows, watches as people hang on to his words, wondering if the next comment will be sarcastic or sincere. He doesn’t make another comment, just turns back to his game of 8 ball.
“Fine?” Remus exclaims, “dude, it rocked! High before class, a cupcake each for lunch, ditched final period, and now we have a fuckin’ feast. Best day ever,” he grins, a little too wide, a little too toothy - but enthusiastic. His sudden switch from unbothered to involved gives everyone a tad whiplash, but the happiness is appreciated. “Is that Monopoly? We gotta play that later. I wanna watch everyone kill each other.”
J-anus: I won. Told you bitch.
Delivered.
“You have Patton to thank, he owns the set,” Logan smiles. Baby steps. Progress.
J-anus: Let’s play 8 ball! [Link]
J-anus: Another round, your royal shittiness?
Delivered.
Janus glances up from his phone, tossing his eyeline to the right, where Remus is leaning out of his seat, talking animatedly with Patton about his own Monopoly rules.
“So, no one is the banker which means everyone is the banker. And if you can get away with taking money out of the bank then you keep it, last time I played with Roman and our mom I managed to steal over three thousand in one turn, it was awesome. You should’ve seen his face,” Remus jabs his thumb at Roman, elbow almost colliding with Janus’ nose, “he was sooooo pissed, threw the rulebook at me.”
“And you chewed it like a feral dog,” Roman remembers, grimacing as his brother shoves a grotty finger in his face, cackling. Patton giggles across the room, and Virgil nods along, trying his best to hide his smile.
Janus sits up against the back of the couch, letting his phone fall into his lap, grabbing another pretzel as he observes the conversation. They all seem to be rather involved in the Monopoly chat, exchanging stories - a lot of which concern Roman being a terrible loser, or Logan being agitated when his carefully constructed game plan went awry.
“Like the time L spent almost an hour of game time on trades,” Virgil giggles, leaning out to grab some chips off the table, “and then landed on my blue hotel four turns in a row and went bankrupt!”
Roman guffaws beside him, literally slapping his knee. It can’t have been that funny? What sort of game are they playing here? He doesn’t know what to say, just continues his careful examination, eyes narrowed. There must be some ulterior motives. People don’t just chat to someone they don’t like. But everyone seems to be getting along just swimmingly with Remus. And Janus realises, he’s about to lose his only friend.
“You play many board games, Janus?” Patton cocks his head, and the question sends a jolt through the teens system.
He ponders his reply for a second, silence stretching. “No,” he states slowly, “not much. Not really. No.” Janus clears his throat. Can people just go back to ignoring him? Can they go back to ignoring Remus too?
He’s selfish. He doesn’t want things to change. He wants Remus to stay his friend. It’s the two of them against the world. That shouldn’t change.
“Have you never played Monopoly?” Logan continues, still directing his questions at Janus, who sighs like answering is going to slowly drain the life out of him.
He shakes his head, chewing on another pretzel. Beside him, Remus jabs him in the side, throwing his arm around Janus’ shoulders. It’s comforting, for a moment, to know that Remus still has his back, but then he sees Roman glance at them strangely, and the fire in his stomach burns a little brighter.
“We should… play?” Roman suggests, although his tone wavers, unconfident and unconvinced.
“This can only go badly,” Virgil mutters, reaching for the board by Patton’s feet, sliding onto the floor as he goes. “Floor time,” he muses under his breath. “I call dibs on the cat piece.”
“Oooh, I want the dog!” Patton follows Virgil onto the floor, grabbing the game and shuffling around until he’s seated on the large rug, on the other side of the coffee table. Logan and Roman follow after them, Roman filling his glass as he goes.
Janus glances at Remus and mouths ‘smoke?’ Remus shakes his head slowly, as though he knew Janus would ask that. “Just one game,” he smiles, “it won’t last long.” He rises swiftly, “if I don’t get the penguin I’ll explode!”
There’s a beat, and Janus is on his feet, legs carrying him to the rug where everyone is sat in a circle around the board. He plants himself next to Logan and Remus. (Clockwise, the circle goes: Janus, Logan, Patton, Virgil, Roman, Remus.) “I don’t mind being the top hat,” he muses, picking up the piece and turning it over in his fingers. It’s cool against his fingertips.
“I always play the race car, and Lo is always the battleship,” Roman comments to no one in particular, and Patton asks Virgil to pass him another cookie before explaining the rules.
They’re about seventy five minutes in, and Janus finds himself with a full green set and a red property card. He can see Virgil eyeing it, as he has the other two. He doesn’t know who’s winning, and he can’t see it ending anytime soon. He’s started to tune out Patton and Roman’s heated trade deal, head heavy in his hand as he blows out an exhale. He’s… on edge. Remus won’t stop making little comments alluding to the… past. Janus’ past with Virgil, and it’s setting the two of them off. Every rent collection has a mutter of, “more money you owe me,” from Virgil, or “something else you can hold over my head,” from Janus. And when Janus had placed a house on one of his green properties, and Virgil had landed on it, he’d heard the boy hiss about “just another betrayal. You’re good at those.”
Janus pushes some of his fake money about. He could use a cigarette right now. He passes Remus his phone from the table, and opens a chat.
J-anus: Please can we go for a smoke. I’m dying.
dookie: man its my turn next :^[
J-anus: You’re kidding me, this has been going on forever.
J-anus: They’re good ones too. Shady store had better selection this time.
dookie: l8r babycakes. first daddy has to bankrupt his brother
dookie: also i keep taking 50s from the bank and no ones picked up on it yet
dookie: keep it on the dl
J-anus: I don’t even care.
“My turn!” Remus snatches the dice from Roman’s hands, shaking them in his palm and rolling.
“Hey! I hadn’t finished making my deal,” Roman complains, crossing his arms across his body.
Remus sticks his tongue out, “we were all gonna wither and die. I’m doing everyone a favour.” he hops his penguin nine spots, passing Go and landing on a brown square. He keeps his mouth shut, he knows Patton owns that property, but he prays the blonde doesn’t notice. “Okay, your turn, Janus!” He shoves the dice into his friend's hands with a pointed look, and Remus’ turn is over.
Logan shoots Remus a quizzical look, but taps the side of his nose and nods, practically telling the boy that his secret is safe. It’s not cheating, it’s an established rule, and Logan can appreciate someone using the system to their advantage. He’s spent the whole evening so far trying to figure Remus out. Janus seemed a little… simpler. Sheltered and sarcastic, surely with some underlying reason. But Remus was an enigma Logan couldn’t quite grasp, a particularly complicated puzzle that made Logan’s fingers itch to solve. His whole… deal was intriguing. His polar opposite personality to Roman, his dress sense, his personal politics, his strange quips. Logan couldn’t help but feel this odd pull in his chest.
Janus tosses the dice, picks up a chance card and sighs. “Get out of jail free, sweet,” he tucks the card under his fake money and hands Virgil 200 as well, “also give me a house.”
Virgil wrinkles his nose up, rolling his eyes. “I remember when you used to say you’d give me a house one day,” he spits, tossing the green piece at Janus, who flinches.
“I beg your pardon?” The room goes cold. A thousand thoughts crash to a screeching halt in Janus’ mind, crumbling under the tension. An anger licks at his pupils, bubbling below the surface.
Virgil scowls, “you heard me,” he insists. “Don’t you remember, Jan? Or do you tell so many lies you can't remember them all?”
“That’s fucking rich coming from you,” Janus hisses back, “are you trying to say I broke promises? Because that’s hilarious.” He adjusts a house on his property, fingers pushing the piece down harshly on the board, it kilts up and the game pieces shift.
Virgil scoffs, “rich? Me?” He leans over the board, “you're the biggest fucking liar I know.”
“Right!” Janus slams his hands down on the board, and the pieces topple over. “If we're doing this, let's do this. You, me, outside.” He jabs his thumb towards the living room door and rises to his feet, Virgil following hot on his heels. The squabbling continues out into the hallway, and the remaining four hear the front door slam as they exit out into the yard.
dookie has opened a private chat with J-anus .
dookie: wat was that
dookie: that was 1. awesome
dookie: but 2. scary?????
dookie: wots happen
Delivered
Remus picks up the dice, ignoring the shady atmosphere sitting thick upon everyone's shoulders. “It’s your go,” he beams, sliding them along to Logan before chomping down on another cookie. Logan stares at him blankly. Bizarre.
“You’re joking right?” Roman rolls his head around on his shoulders, disturbed and perturbed. “I mean - you cannot be that dense!” He knocks the dice away, and dismissively continues, looking down at his pile of fake cash, “everyone just count your money so we can figure out who won.”
“Roman! Are you serious?” Patton exclaims, shaking his head. “I’m going to check on them,” he scrambles to his feet, fleeing from the room.
Roman groans and leans back, head hitting the coffee table with a thump. What a disaster. “This was a terrible idea.” He groans, covering his eyes with his hands, mellowing in self pity. “Re, our groups will never get along.”
“Not sure if you can call my duo a group, we’re more of a… married couple, soulmates, best friends, ride or die, ancient beings that evolved through time together type deal,” Remus muses. Logan focuses on his face, notes the arches of his eyebrows, and his blue-ish, grey-ish eyeshadow. He takes careful mental snapshots of smudged eyeliner, of the salt around his mouth, of all his little quirks. The sentiment is oddly romantic, and it warms Logan pleasantly from the inside out to know that beyond all the crazy oddities, Remus truly cares for those close to him. Something inside of Logan lights up, something inside of him softens, and a gentle pink fuzz rises on his cheeks. Not enough to be noticed, but enough for now.
Logan quirks an eyebrow curiously. “Remus, do you know what Virgil could’ve meant with his whole ‘you promised me a house one day’ comment?” He slides along the rug closer to the Royal twin, watching Roman lament under his breath with a careful eye.
Remus barely finishes his chewing before he answers, “oh of course I do,” he chuckles, “but that’s a secret I’ll never tell. I try not to get in the middle of their fights, I prefer to watch anyway,” he winks, “and they fight like a divorced couple struggling with custody. I’m the child in this scenario.”
The room is still aside from Logan’s little ‘hmm’, followed by a nosy, “so who’s the mother in this situation?”
“Well it’d be wrong to call Virgil ‘daddy’ even if he is more fatherly… That’s a nickname for Janus after all,” Remus nods slowly, considering and weighing the question. “All I’m saying, is whatever Virgil has told you happened - isn’t entirely true,” he licks his lips, and Logan leans back, keeping a careful eye on Remus. There’s a strange feeling in his fingertips, his eyes wide. God that boy is so, so , weird… Logan kind of likes it. He’s just so strange, it’s wildly endearing.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Roman darts upwards at the first hint of gossip or information, desperate to know more, and groans when his brother shrugs.
“I told you, I can’t say.”
iNerd has opened a private chat with patton-cake.
iNerd: Is everything okay out there, Patton?
iNerd: I think when everyone comes back inside, we should have a proper discussion.
patton-cake: i dont think everyone will be coming back inside :(((
patton-cake: janus just left
iNerd: Oh dear.
“Janus left,” Logan muses outloud, and Remus turns his head.
Five new messages from J-anus.
J-anus: Fuck everything man
J-anus: I can’t fucking put up with this guy anymore
J-anus: Sorry I’m just running away but I can’t spend another second in that house
J-anus: I left my fucking shoes and everythign will you drop them off at some point please
dookie: omw where u going
J-anus: Home.
dookie: ok cuming
Remus stands to leave. “Where are you going?” Logan calls after him as he struggles with his boots.
“Jan left his shoes,” he huffs. “Roman, can you feed Veeder for me?”
He doesn’t wait for a reply, just scurries away as fast as he can, ignoring Patton and Virgil sitting huddled on the front step for the most part. The most he does is shout a goodbye at Patton, as he scrambles down the street, towards his friend's house.
“Well, that was a disaster.” Logan muses from inside, slowly packing up Monopoly.
“Yeah!” Roman exclaims, clutching fistfalls of fake 50$ notes, “that bitch was cheating!”