Chapter Text
“I feel like I’m already sweating through this shirt,” Roy muttered as he scrutinized the latest shirt he was trying on in the mirror. There was a pile stacking up on his bed of rejects. One shirt had a wrinkle he wasn’t able to smooth out. Another had the smell of motor oil clinging to it. This one was a faded red flannel; one of his favorites that he didn’t wear as often as he’d like. Paired with the dark jeans and boots he’d found tucked away toward the back of his closet, it seemed to be a decent outfit. He hadn’t found any flaws yet anyway.
“That’s just the nerves,” Dinah said, amusement clear in her voice. “You’re working yourself up. Try to relax.”
It’d been so long since Roy had been on a date that he had forgotten how bad his nerves got. Especially knowing that this one mattered so much to him. He wanted to do it right.
“I just want to make sure I look okay,” he told her. “I can’t remember the last time I went on an actual date.”
“I know.” She motioned for him to turn around and face her. Once he did, she started making her adjustments like any mother figure would. Adjusting and smoothing out the shirt out a bit more to make sure it fell where it should. Tucking his freshly brushed hair behind his ears. Grabbing one of his watches that he rarely wore and putting it on his wrist. He really was getting the mom treatment from her tonight it seemed, not that he would complain. “You look great though. I’m glad I was able to talk you out of your trucker hat.”
Roy pouted. “That’s my emotional support hat.”
“You’ll survive,” she told him with a roll of her eyes. “Does she know?” She tilted her head in the direction of the living room. He knew she meant Lian.
Roy shook his head. “It didn’t feel responsible to fill her in yet. I didn’t want to jinx it or get her hopes up in case it goes bad.”
“It won’t,” she assured him with certainty in her voice. “But still the responsible decision.”
Despite that, he did feel a little guilty lying to her. It felt like sneaking behind his daughter’s back despite it being for the best in the long run. He’d gone with the most generic excuse, getting dinner with friends, and she hadn’t even questioned it. Which wasn’t completely far off. He did consider Jason a friend for now, but hoped after tonight maybe it would become something more.
“Don’t overthink it,” Dinah’s reassurance snapped him out of his small guilty spiral. “You’re a good dad. You’re protecting her. And you’re going to have an amazing night.”
Roy nodded letting out a breath. He could do this.
She pulled him in for a quick hug. “I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks, Dinah,” he whispered as he hugged her back, trying not to get choked up. The last thing he needed was to show up looking like he’d been crying.
~
Walking out into the living room, he saw that Lian was currently curled up on the couch underneath her favorite blanket with a book in hand. Roy could see the bookmark from Jason placed carefully next to her. She looked peaceful and a part of his heart ached at leaving her for the night. He loved the quiet moments that they had and they’d become so rare lately. But who he was seeing made it worth leaving for the night.
“Alright, sweetheart, I’m just grabbing dinner with some friends.” Roy announced, crouching down in front of her. She looked up at him, a smile on her face. “You’ll be good for Dinah?”
She nodded. “Dinah said we could get pizza for dinner tonight.”
“She did now?” Roy raised an eyebrow at the older woman who simply shrugged not looking the least bit apologetic.
“I’ve got to get my brownie points while Ollie’s out of town.”
He chuckled and shook his head at that. “Alright well don’t stay up too late.”
“I won’t, dad, I promise.” She held up her pinky to him with a grin. He wrapped his own around hers and they shook on it.
“Okay, kiddo, I’ll be back later.” He kissed the top of her head and stood up. As he was about to leave, she jumped up and gave him a hug.
“Have fun,” she told him quietly.
He all but melted into it, holding her close. “I will.” And he found that he believed it.
The sweet moment was soon interrupted by Dinah shooing him out the door. “Alright, Roy, get out of here and leave us to our girls’ night!” Lian’s giggles followed and then he was met with silence as the door closed behind him. This was it.
~
Roy kept the radio on low as he drove, but his mind wasn’t focused on that. It was spiraling a little as the nerves once again kicked in. What if Jason had only said yes to be nice? What if he talks too much or says the wrong thing? What if he doesn’t talk enough and the whole thing turned out to be awkward?
He took a deep breath trying to settle his nerves once again. He repeated reassurances of I can do this, It’ll be fine, I won’t mess this up, in his head while trying to rationalize with himself.
Looking back on every interaction he’d had with Jason thus far, there was no reason to be this nervous. Yes, Lian was there on multiple occasions helping the conversation flow, but Roy had held his own too when he’d managed to get the other man alone. His mind latched on to how good Jason was with Lian and it made his chest warm. He was gentle and kind and fit in so easily into their dynamic like he’d been there for years.
It was in that moment that Roy realized his fear for this date wasn’t rejection, it was loss. Losing what he had now. Losing that easiness he’d grown accustomed to when it came to Jason. The way that he’d become another piece of stability in his daughter’s life and his own. He was taking a chance on that tonight and that was terrifying and nerve wracking. Though a small part of him felt excited about the possibility of this becoming something new and more solidified.
A ding drew his attention to his phone sitting in the holder. It was a text from Jason. About 5 minutes out. See you soon. :)
Roy couldn’t help but smile at it, shooting a quick reply that he was also almost there and looking forward to it when he was at a stop light.
~
Standing in front of the diner they’d agreed to meet at downtown, Roy did his best to shake off the last of the nerves. It was a nice place, but still casual. They’d agreed on nothing too stifling or fancy, neither liking that environment very much. This also eased a little of the pressure off.
Roy caught sight of Jason before the other man saw him. He was walking up the sidewalk, hands tucked in the pockets of his worn leather jacket. Underneath he had on a fitted burgundy henley that seemed to fit him just right. That was paired with dark jeans and some combat boots. His hair was styled ever so slightly even though the wind wanted to mess it up. Despite it being different from what Roy usually saw him wearing at the library, it felt very fitting. He looked handsome and he was struck once again by how lucky he was that Jason had said yes.
As though sensing his eyes on him, Jason looked up at Roy as he approached and smiled. His body relaxed from its slightly guarded position and Roy found himself doing the same, a smile lighting up his own face.
“Hey,” Jason greeted stopping in front of him.
“Hey,” he returned. “You hungry?” He held the door open, gesturing for Jason to go through first. He still had some moves after all.
Jason blushed slightly doing just that. “Starving. I’ve been craving a good burger all day.”
“That actually does sound amazing right now.” Roy followed after him with a chuckle.
~
“So you’re telling me,” Roy asked through laughs. “That she is fully convinced that the printer has a vendetta against her?”
“She’s threatened to fight it on multiple occasions,” Jason confirmed with a smile. “Actually brought in sage one time claiming she was going to cleanse it. I genuinely thought I was going to have to get between the two earlier this week. It’s never a dull moment when Madi’s around.”
“And it’s only her?”
“Oh, I’ve been dubbed the ‘printer whisperer’ because it never gives me problems.”
“So if I ever have problems with the pinter at the shop I guess I know who to call then.”
Jason rolled his eyes but chuckled at the comment. Only a few minutes in and this date was actually going fairly well if Roy did say so himself. The place wasn’t too busy tonight and they’d been able to grab a booth toward the back corner where it was even quieter.
Their waitress for the evening walked over, a big smile on her face. “Hi, I’m Elise and I’ll be taking care of you two tonight. Can I get you started with anything to drink?”
“It’s a diner classic,” Roy defended when Jason chuckled and shook his head after he ordered a chocolate milkshake.
“I’m not saying it’s not. I just wasn’t expecting you to order it.” Jason held his hands up in defeat.
“Says the man who just ordered the same thing,” he teased loving the way that the other man blushed ever so slightly at it.
“Guilty.” There was a small lull before he followed up with, “How are things at the shop?”
Roy let out a sigh, leaning back into the cushion behind him. “I’m ready for things to slow down a bit,” he admitted feeling like he could be honest for a moment. It wasn’t that he didn’t feel like he could be honest with anyone else about it, he just knew that they would immediately worry and assume the worst at times. He didn’t have to worry about that with Jason. “Dealing with suppliers and balancing schedules is never easy, but I’m not as stressed as I have been recently so that’s a bonus.”
Jason nodded in clear understanding. “It helps when you’re passionate about the work you do, but it’s still hard to balance that though. I get it.”
Roy couldn’t help but feel seen in that moment. That was exactly how he felt. Loving what he did, but it was still draining at times. “How are things with you at the library outside of sweet talking printers?”
“I regret telling you that.” Jason laughed and Roy felt his heart swell each time he managed to get that sound out of him. It was becoming his new favorite sound. “But it’s been the usual HallowReads chaos. We’ve got some major events coming up. I’ve been slowly working my way through Lit Kit requests that have come in on top of my usual workload.”
Roy tilted his head. “What are those?”
He watched as Jason’s face lit up like a Christmas tree and listened as the man animatedly started talking about them. Explaining that they were essentially personalized book recommendations. The passion for his job shone through as he continued on, providing examples and talking about some of the ones he’d put together that had been a hit with the reader. Roy couldn’t help but smile at him in adoration. He was so gone for this man.
“Sorry that was a lot,” Jason tugged on his sleeves slightly, a nervous tick that Roy had picked up on, as he seemed to realize how long he’d been talking for.
“No it wasn’t.” Roy decided to take a risk and grabbed one of Jason’s hands, holding it. “I love hearing you talk about your job. I can tell you’re really passionate about it.” He gave what he hoped was a reassuring smile.
“Thank you,” Jason said quietly, a blush heating his cheeks as he looked at where their hands were connected. Roy took another chance and gently glided his thumb over Jason’s knuckles watching as the other man relaxed slightly at the comforting touch.
The moment was broken by Elise bringing over their milkshakes and taking their order.
~
“So, what’s Lian up to tonight,” Jason asked as he stole a fry from Roy’s plate with a sly smile taking a bite of it.
Roy playfully glared at him, but he couldn’t fight the upturn of his lips at the antics. “She’s being spoiled by her grandma for the evening.”
“I take it you all are close?”
“We weren’t for a while, things were rough for a few years,” he admitted. “But now we are. Dinah and Ollie live in the next city over and they absolutely adore Lian so that’s definitely helped.” Jason nodded, going quiet for a moment, his face dropping slightly in a way that troubled Roy. He could sense that family might be a touchy subject for him, parents anyway, so rather than risking pushing it he made a mental note and changed the subject. “She’s been using the bookmark you made her nonstop.”
A hopeful smile returned to Jason’s face at that. “Yeah?”
He nodded. “Was using it tonight when I left. Was starting on one of those books you recommended to her the other week.”
“She’s such a good kid,” he said with a fondness that had Roy’s heart in a puddle on the floor. “Honestly, Roy, you’re doing great with her.”
“Thank you.” He could feel his face heat with the sincerity of the compliment. “She’s honestly one of the best things to happen to me. She’s made me a better person. My life a few years ago looks drastically different from how it does now and it’s for the better; the routines, the stability. It’s good for me. For both of us.”
It was Jason’s turn to reach across the table and reach for his hand to comfort. A gesture that Roy definitely appreciated. “I get that. The library kind of did the same thing for me. Gave me something to focus on and sometimes boring is… kind of nice.”
He let out a soft chuckle. “Yeah, it can be with the right people around.”
~
“You don’t have to pay for me,” Jason insisted for the fifth time since the check was put down and Roy snatched it quickly from the table. “We can split it.”
Roy shook his head. “No, I’m the one who asked you out. I insist on paying.”
“Fine.” The other man relented with a pout. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Roy smiled at him as he pulled out his wallet, grabbing a few bills (enough to cover the check and a decent tip) and placed them on the table. If he was honest, he didn’t want the date to be over, but the diner was slowly emptying around them and it was starting to get late. He didn’t need the extra teasing that was bound to come from him returning too late. Dinah wouldn’t hesitate to put him on blast in the group chat and he knew it.
“You ready,” he asked. Jason nodded, taking one last sip of his milkshake and followed him out of the booth.
“Have a good night, you two,” Elise called after them and they both smiled and thanked her before walking out the door.
It was clear that fall was starting to give way to winter as they walked outside. The temperature had dropped significantly and the wind had started to pick up. Next to him, he felt Jason shiver as an unruly gust bit through his jacket.
“Did you walk here?”
Jason nodded sheepishly. “I didn’t realize the temperature was going to drop this much. I don’t live too far away, I’ll be fine.”
Roy shook his head. Absolutely not. There was no way he was going to let him walk in this weather. “It’s cold. Can I drive you home? It’d make me feel better knowing you get home safe.”
Jason seemed nervous at the idea, tugging slightly at his sleeves again. “Are you sure? Shouldn’t you be getting home to Lian? I don’t want to keep you—”
He gently placed a hand on his shoulder. “I promise I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it.”
Jason seemed to relax at that reassurance. “Okay.” He nodded. “Yeah I’d like that.” He gave Roy another one of those smiles which he returned.
~
“You know, I almost didn’t ask you out,” Roy admitted as he followed the directions that Jason had given him. The music was on low and once again blending into the background as he drove. “My family had to bully me into getting out of my own way. I’m glad they did.”
“I kind of freaked out yesterday about this and almost canceled,” Jason admitted in turn. “But one of my brothers convinced me to not be a chicken. I’d say it worked out in my favor. Not that I’ll ever admit that to him.”
Roy laughed. “Are you close with them? Your brothers?” He couldn’t help his curiosity. There was a lightness in the way that he mentioned them which made him feel it was a relatively safe topic. “I mean I’m assuming there are multiple with how you phrased that.”
“Yes, I have multiple.” He replied with a laugh. “Three actually. Two younger and one older. I think overall we’re close. I may not be as… communicative as they’d like me to be sometimes, but we get along well when we get together for the most part.”
Roy hummed his acknowledgement. “I’m pretty close with my siblings too. A brother and a sister. Both younger.”
“Somehow that makes sense that you’re the oldest.”
Roy looked at him briefly in amusement. “I’m going to take that as a compliment whether you meant it that way or not.”
“This turn here,” Jason directed him, pointing to a turn in for an apartment complex that was easily missed if one wasn’t looking. An older one in town, but well maintained from the look of the buildings and the sidewalks. One that was quaint and quiet and that seemed to fit Jason perfectly. Roy was a little in awe at the mature trees as he slowly drove through the complex, another sign that this had been here for some time. The leaves were bright oranges, yellows, and reds thanks to the season.
“You can grab that spot there, next to my bike.” It was a nice one and Roy resisted the urge to ask to look at it or any of the other questions the mechanic in him wanted to know. Maybe if he was lucky, Jason would let him look at it the next time they went out.
Carefully putting the car into park, Roy hopped out to go around and open Jason’s door for him.
“Such the gentleman,” Jason teased with a roll of his eyes.
“It’s called manners,” Roy teased back. “I was going to walk you to your door.” Jason seemed to tense slightly at that, trying to hide the nervousness and flash of unsureness that crossed his face. Did he think Roy was…? Oh no, that’s not what he meant. “Just to your door,” he quickly clarified. “Nothing more than that.”
Jason nodded, letting out an embarrassed laugh. “I knew you probably didn’t mean it like that.” But it occurred to him that maybe Jason had his boundaries pushed in the past in a way that had made him uncomfortable based on that reaction. He chose to drop that for now not wanting to sour the mood completely.
The two walked up the flight of stairs in front of them and stopped in front of Jason’s door.
“Even your doormat has books on it,” Roy asked with a raised eyebrow as he noticed it.
“Would you expect any less?”
“No,” he replied. “It’s kind of perfect for you.”
Jason smiled at that. “I had a really good time tonight, Roy.”
“I did too.” It was at this moment that he realized he didn’t know what to do. Part of him didn’t want the night to end. He could spend hours talking with Jason, but he did have a daughter to get back to. He shifted his weight trying to decide how to end the night. He didn’t want to make the wrong move and scare him away after things had been going so well.
It turned out he didn’t have to overthink it as Jason took a step forward and wrapped his arms around him. He froze for a brief moment in surprise before melting into it. With their height difference he was able to comfortably rest his head on Jason’s shoulder. They fit together easily like this was something they did all the time. Jason was warm despite the cold surrounding them and he could feel the other man let out an exhale like he’d been holding his breath. Roy tightened his grip ever so slightly while still being gentle as he felt Jason lean in more. His hands staying warm and grounding around Jason’s back.
They stayed like that for a while enjoying a final moment together before officially ending the night. Roy easily would’ve stayed there all night holding him if Jason wanted him to.
Jason was the one to break the hug, slowly moving away, and Roy searched his face for any sign for discomfort or rejection, fearing the worst. Instead he found open fondness and affection. He felt himself blush under that gaze.
Jason smiled softly and took a step back to his door, pulling his apartment key out. “Goodnight, Roy. Text me when you get home.”
“I will. Goodnight, Jay.” He watched as Jason disappeared into his apartment before heading back down to his car.
Roy couldn’t fight the smile on his face the whole drive home.