Archive of Our Own ^beta

Robby wakes up late, his alarm clock silent beside him. He groans, rolling over. Karate should be starting now, but he can’t hear Johnny rushing to get ready. His whole body hurts, and his head is pounding. He feels heavy, and a little foggy. But he forces himself up, rubbing his eyes. Then someone starts pounding on the front door.

“Robby?” Miguel yells from outside.

“Coming,” he calls, voice cracking.

He stumbles to his feet, almost smacking into the door frame before side stepping it, and walking to the door. He unlocks it, opening it before walking to the kitchen. Miguel is standing there in his work-out clothes, but he quickly follows Robby inside.

“Why aren’t you ready to go?”

Robby picks up the note on the counter with his dad’s shitty handwriting.

Going out early, you’re catching a ride with Carmen and Miguel -Dad.

Robby sighs, rubbing his eyes again. “I woke up late. I’ll get ready now.”

“Meet me at my apartment when you’re ready. Don’t worry about being late though,” Miguel replies, his voice softer now.

Robby hums in agreement, walking to his room to change clothes. He changes into his work-out clothes, muscles protesting his every move. After running through his morning self-care routine, he slips on his shoes, and walks across the way to the Diaz’s apartment. He knocks, and Carmen answers the door.

“Come on in,” she says, pulling the door fully open.

Robby walks in, and Miguel jogs over. “Hey, you ready to go?”

Robby nods, and Carmen holds lunches out for both of them. Robby grabs it with a grateful thank you. Once they both have their lunches, they climb into Carmen’s car. Robby finds himself zoning out until they pull up.

“Tell Johnny I said hi,” she says to Miguel as he’s getting out.

Miguel rolls his eyes. “Ok, bye, Mom.”

“Bye, sweetheart. Bye honey,” she says, turning to Robby.

His stomach tightens, but he nods. “Bye.” Then he closes the car door, and jogs to catch up with Miguel. His muscles ache and tighten with each move, but he pushes everything back.

Johnny yells for them to hurry up as soon as they come into view. “Come on, boys. You’re late,” he calls, motioning them over.

Everyone is warming up, stretching across the lawn. Miguel drops himself down too, and Robby lowers himself carefully to the ground. Tory waves at him, and he waves back, the closest thing to a smile crossing his face. Stretching helps the ache a little, but not enough to be comfortable. He still hurts, and he already knows that karate is going to be hell today. Daniel calls him up first for sparring, a gentle smile on his face. Robby wants to say no, wants to walk away, and go sleep inside.

But he doesn’t, instead he walks onto the sparring deck, and frowns when Devon follows him up. He didn’t notice Daniel call her up, and his head is spinning a little now. The spar is a blur, Robby only really notices how much it hurts every time she hits him even if he blocks. Finally he lands a hard kick, and Devon goes down. He stumbles a little, landing too hard on his leg.

“Good job, Robby,” a distant voice says, then a cold hand lands on his back.

And he jumps as if he’d been burned, his eyes wide as he stumbles again, and almost falls. His breathing comes fast as he turns. And it isn’t Daniel there, it’s his mom’s first boyfriend he can remember. The first man to put his hands on Robby, and he didn’t stop hitting Robby until he couldn’t breathe right, and didn’t bother them for the rest of the night. He didn’t bother them because he couldn’t even stand, but that part didn’t matter. All that mattered to the man was the quiet, and alone time with Sharon. And she never believed Robby, he stopped saying anything by the time he turned nine. She always claimed he wanted his father to come back, and that’s why he was acting out.

And while he did want that for a while, that hadn’t been why. And even though he has his father back now, something he hadn’t even wanted in years, and he has a family, a girlfriend, suddenly he’s that scared five year old again.

“Robby!” A rough, calloused hand lands on his shoulder, and it’s familiar.

But he still can’t breathe, and everything hurts. Tears come to his eyes. “Dad?” he whispers, still choking on his own sobs.

Johnny doesn’t push, doesn’t try to tell him he’s ok. He only says, “I’m here, you’re safe.”

Robby collapses into his arms, the tears falling. Johnny holds him, secure and reliable. He’s stable, and he’s there. And even through his fear, he believes that Johnny will keep him safe. That it won’t happen like that again. Even if he were alone, Robby is stronger than he was then. No one can do that to him again, at least that’s what he tells himself as he hides in his dad’s arms.

The distant part of him is embarrassed, telling him to move, to get away. To do anything else. But his head is spinning too hard, and at this point he wonders if he’s going to throw up. Finally Johnny puts a hand on his forehead.

“You’re running a fever. Come on, let’s get you home, and we can talk later.”

His mouth is close to Robby’s ear, clearly trying not to embarrass him further, not that it’s possible. But Robby nods, chancing a glance at Daniel, who’s face is pale and he’s standing shock still. Robby buries his face in Johnny’s chest again, and Johnny lifts him into his arms. He carries him to the car, Tory catching his fingers for a second to squeeze them as they walk past. Robby knows that she understands what it’s like, though he never told her what actually happened to him. He hid everything like the shameful horrible secret that it is. Turns out he has the flu, and ends up in bed for three days. When Robby finally feels ok enough to get up for breakfast with Johnny, Johnny makes eggs and toast.

“You know, my stepdad wasn’t great.”

Robby snorts. Understatement of the century.

“He would hit me sometimes when my mom wasn’t around. It didn’t happen often, but I still remember the guilt and the fear of people finding out. Of Kreese finding out that I was weak. You don’t have to carry it like that.”

He doesn’t ask what happened, but instead reminds Robby that he’s always here to talk. And Robby doesn’t take him up on it yet, but he does feel lighter knowing that someone is in his corner regardless of what happens.