Chapter Text
Avid adjusted the bandages around his neck. They had been irritating his wounds, both old and new, so he shifted them around into a more comfortable position.
This was going to be the day that he made sure everyone was safe from vampires. He was hosting a house competition and was going to analyze how vampire safe everyone's house was. He'd take notes, make suggestions on improvements and hopefully expose Scott.
Easy.
Not.
"Avid!" Drift called, "Get down here, this is your competition, you need to be there!"
Avid sighed, grabbing a clove of garlic and stuffing it in his mouth, grinding it between his teeth and swallowing it before heading down stairs. The earthy taste lingered on his tongue like how the fowl stench of decay clung to a room that once contained a corpse or how blood stained a hand that took a life even years after it had washed away.
His hands shook as he descended to the bottom floor, before breathing in and out, collecting himself. He joined Drift by the door before the two set out for the town center.
There, about half of town had already gathered, Shelby bouncing on the heals of their feat with the wild energy that is to be expected of them, Abolish standing silently in a corner as always, M with a book and quill in hand to document everything, Scott was clearly just there for Shelby.
Scott, with his too perfect face and pale skin and sparkling eyes and inhumanly beautiful hair and graceful gate and opulent fashion, he didn't get how the others didn't see it! It's obvious, he's a vampire!
Some time passed and others gathered around the square.
"Well," Drift cleared her throat, "it seems that everyone is here."
Ah, and so they were. That means that the house judging competition was about to start.
"Hello… everybody?" Avid started tentatively, "now that we are all here… we should go about this competition, starting with… Ren's house!"
They all move over to Ren's place, it was pretty ramshackled, but nice! It could probably keep a vampire out, though there were some weaknesses.
"It has multiple doors, and the windows are open. Also, no silver," Avid commented and Ren winced.
"Wait, what are we talking about?" Apo asked.
"We're judging everyone's houses on vampire safety!" Avid said.
"Ugh… of course!" Apo said in an inhumanly perfect sing song voice. It wrapped around Avid's mind and stuck itself in their, leaving a soft ringing in his ears. It was eerie, hauntingly beautiful, and utterly incomprehensible.
"…What?" Avid muttered, his mind a daze. Everyone around him was staring blankly at nothing in particular.
"Dammit! No, no no. Forget this ever happened!"
~~○^○~~
Avid blinked, "now that we are all here… we should go about this competition, starting with… Ren's house!"
They all move over to Ren's place, it was pretty ramshackled, but nice! It could probably keep a vampire out, though there were some weaknesses.
"It has multiple doors, and the windows are open. Also, no silver," Avid commented and Ren winced, Apo shifted nervously.
"Wait, what are we talking about?" Pearl asked, sending a wave a dejavu through Avid.
"We're judging everyone's houses on vampire safety!" Avid said, brow furrowed.
"Ugh… of course!" Cleo bemoaned.
"I give Ren a 3/5!" Avid shouted, causing Sausage to snicker. Legs leaned over to whisper something in Apo's ear. Huh, strange.
They moved to Martyn's house next, and Avid was greatly impressed. One door, few windows, and a sign denying entrance to people!
"5/5, no 6/5! This is impeccable!" Avid said, suddenly geeking out about everything that was right with it. Martyn positively beamed at him.
A scream pierced the air and everyone turned to see that Cleo had caught fire.
Everyone started running around, Drift panicked and grabbed a bucket of water and tossed it onto the farmer, putting them out and hitting Legs and Apo who were standing right next to them.
"Are you ok??" Drift asked.
Apo turned to shield her wet side from everyone and Legs was checking over Cleo's burns.
"I'm fine…" Cleo muttered, "just… bumped into a lantern. Nothing big."
Strange, there were no lanterns around, but then again, everyone had been freaking out. They might've kicked it away.
She leaned in towards the doctor to whisper something to him and Legendo pulled… something, a salve of some sort, out of seemingly no where. He applied it to Cleo's burns.
Where did Legs keep the salve? It made sense for the doc to keep burn medication on him, but man, that guy had some pockets on him.
Well, next house was Cleo and Pearl's.
It was fine, 2 entrances and a lack of a proper roof definitely hurt it though.
"Well, it's clearly under construction, but you should close up the windows…" he said, stepping inside.
"I didn't fucking invite you in," Cleo growled, "get out."
Avid, a long with Apo and a few others who had entered froze.
"You have till 3…"
Apo raised their hands, backing away slowly while Avid just blinked.
"1…"
Cleo raised her sword.
"2…"
Apo left the house.
"3! I am not doing this! Not after I just got set on fire!"
Cleo swung and Avid dashed out the door, tears on his cheeks. He was so distressed that he didn't even ask about the dog they had, seeing as there was hair everywhere. He didn't even have enough brain power to freak out and be paranoid about how Martyn's hand seemed to look grey in the shadows. The young noble politely asked for entrance to Cleo's before scurrying inside.
Abolish's house next, a 4/5, the windows could be improved. He asked for entrance and looked around, noting that the "silverware" was made of pale wood.
"You should get real silver spoons," Avid commented, and something seemed to harden behind the butler's blank gaze, "good vampire repellent."
"And you should leave, seeing as you're being a poor guest," Abolish muttered and within a second, Scott had latched onto Avid's arm and dragged him out the house while Abolish muttered something about "law 31" and "petulant and rude guests."
On their way out, they bumped into Ren, who fell over, revealing an ornate necklace that had been tucked beneath his shirt.
"Wow…" Avid said when he laid eyes on it, it sparkled beautifully, reminding him of the amulet Sausage wore, "where did you get that?"
Ren's eyes widened, "oh, it was a… gift from me mother! A family heirloom, aye. I wear it all the time, but keep it hidden as its opulence tends to attract bandits, don'tcha know?"
"Wow… it's gorgeous, I totally see why you don't show it though," Avid said, ripping his eyes off the necklace, "Next house, the doctor's!"
Avid frowned, there was a big, open window in the upper floor. Any vampire could turn into a bat and fly in.
"3/5, very unsafe."
Legs sighed, disappointed, while Shelby delicately tore a piece of her cloak off and shoved it in her mouth behind him. Avid blinked. For a second, he realized why others called Shelby weird, if they did stuff like this.
They all then went to look at Merp Manor in its glory! It was great at defending against vampires, with silver by the door and garlic in the gardens!
"We even have a bathtub in it!" Drift was saying.
"Oo, may I see it?" Pyro asked.
"Of course!" Drift waved at him.
The scholar walked up to the door, grabbed on the handle, twisted it, and then walked through the door instead of opening it.
Avid blinked, what?
No, he did open the door, he just closed it behind quickly. His mind supplied the explanation easily, and he didn't question it. In the next moment, Avid was sure he had seen the door open, as though something else just plucked the concern from his mind.
At Owen and Sausage's, he pointed out that the windows were open and gave Owen a playful nudge with his elbow which the lumberjack must've deftly avoided, as Avid didn't feel anything.
"Don't touch me!" Owen growled.
Avid put his hands up, "I'm so sorry! I completely forgot you had problems with that, I'll never do it again!"
Owen just glared at him, so Avid took a few steps back. To break the tension, he turned to the sky.
"It's a beautiful day…" he muttered.
"Oh yes! Absolutely gorgeous!" Sausage mused, "you know, it's surprisingly clear! I can actually see the sun! You know, I think we should celebrate!" Sausage then made a surprisingly good wolf impression, howling at the sun.
Pearl glared.
"Mr. M, wolves howl at the moon, don'tcha know?" Ren said.
"I know! But one has to wonder if the sun ever feels left out with no one howling to it."
Huh, well, he already knew Sausage was a weirdo.
The last house was the one he had been prepared for the most. Scott's.
It was also Shelby's, but she was human, so he focused on Scott. Now was his chance to prove himself right!
"You see, there is no silver!" Avid pointed out, "no garlic, windows covered with curtains, no reflective surfaces! Clearly the home of a vampire!"
Shelby burst out laughing and Scott was clearly holding back laughter. Legs too.
Avid's face flushed. No! This was his moment to shine! And he was being humiliated! Stupid Scott! Stupid beautiful, charming, perfect Scott! To have tricked the town like this!
Avid clenched his fist, pulling out a garlic clove and handing it out towards Scott.
"Prove it then! Prove to me you aren't a vampire!"
Scott stared at it for a bit, before rolling his eyes and taking the garlic.
"I don't have to prove to you anything, but fine!" He put the garlic in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed it.
After a few moments later, a look of disgust crossed his face.
A minute later, he had emptied the, surprisingly yellow, contents of his stomach.
Legs moved to Scott side, placing the back of his hand on his forehead.
"See!" Avid hissed, "I told you!"
Legs stood up, "how long have you been sick?" He asked loudly, suspiciously so.
"All day," Scott replied, "I didn't want to disappoint Shelby by not coming, but I knew she wouldn't let me come if I was sick, so I lied," he said it all blankly, in a way that set Avid's hairs on end.
He's lying.
Yet Avid couldn't prove it, and he knew that no one would believe him.
He swallowed his pride for now. It had the taste of lingering garlic on his tongue.
You win this one, Scott Goldsmith.