Chapter Text
January 2014
New London, Connecticut
x
Danny Green stood in the kitchen of the rambling farmhouse where he grew up, hands clenched around the back of the kitchen chair, staring at the envelope sitting on the table in front of him. He had known — they had all known — what they would find from the second that they entered the house. There was something about the stench of death that was instantly recognizable. Even now, with the bodies removed and every window of the house thrown open — thank god it was the dead of winter and there were no flies — Danny could still smell it. Again he focused on the envelope, knowing both that he absolutely didn't want to read his brother's last words and also that he had to. Because there was one mystery that hadn't been solved by returning to the house where Danny grew up, and where his brother Zack had lived with his wife, two daughters and their widowed mother.
One of the girls was missing.
Upon opening up the door and realizing that this was not going to be a happy ending, Burk tried to get Danny to head back outside. After all, this was far from their first rodeo. Sometimes, like in Eric Miller's case, they got lucky and found Eric's mother alive and holed up in her small house on the edge of town. More often, like in the case of Burk's own parents, only the dead remained. Although Carlton had recently learned that his brother Cameron survived, managing to keep half of his own crew alive even after the airdrops stopped. Last night, Carlton casually informed the team that Captain Slattery had offered Cameron the position of TAO on the Nathan James.
The news was an unpleasant shock.
Danny had known that Captain Chandler offered Kara a job as Deputy Chief of Staff to the President, but Danny hadn't believed for a second that Kara would accept. After all, for Kara, the Navy was her life. It was one of the things that attracted Danny to her in the Arctic, to be honest. Kara hadn't been looking to get married and pop out a kid or two until her commission was up and she could rejoin civilian life. With Kara, Danny had seen the possibility of a future. One where they both understood the score and wouldn't end with bitter recriminations about him never being home, followed by divorce papers and a demand for half his salary. Nope, Kara was a lifer. Which is why Kara's decision to leave the Nathan James made no sense. Or maybe that was wishful thinking. Given that Captain Chandler's offer to join him at the White House came with a promotion and a hefty pay raise, why wouldn't Kara jump at the opportunity for advancement?
His stomach twisting, Danny recalled the resignation on Kara's face during that last fight, the one he stupidly started the night before the team left St. Louis for New England, wondering whether he had been ditched along with the Nathan James.
You have two options, Danny. You can keep lashing out at me like a three-year-old who dropped his lollipop, or you can face what happened and try to move forward. Let me know when you decide.
Oh, and since you don't seem to realize this, you aren't the only one grieving.
Those last words were a punch to the gut. He had been there when they arrived in Kara's hometown and found nothing but death. Her father, her cousins, her best friend of twenty years were all dead. He had seen Kara's devastation, had held her as she cried herself dry. He knew he wasn't the only person hurting.
But even that knowledge wasn't enough to break through the anger that held him paralyzed. And now he was contemplating the loss of his family as well. Which, Danny supposed, was why he was still staring at the envelope before him. Because that letter symbolized the last bit of hope that one of them might have survived.
"You want me to open it?"
Glancing up at Tex, Danny actually considered the offer, before shaking his head. "No."
Finally lifting the envelope, Danny slid stiff fingers under the flap. Sure the Arctic was colder, but January in Connecticut wasn't exactly the Caribbean and, with the windows open, the house was now approximately twenty degrees. At least being indoors helped with the wind.
Pulling out the single piece of paper, Danny let the envelope fall back onto the table as he unfolded the letter and began reading.
Danny —
It's funny how weird it felt to write that. But somehow opening this with D or Bro or Asshole just felt wrong. Not when these are the last words I'm going to say to you.
Eyes sliding shut, Danny's hand tightened around the piece of paper, imagining Zack sitting at this very table, writing the letter stream of consciousness, just like his damn emails. Danny recalled the email that arrived while he was at Ramstein Air Base recovering from a gunshot wound.
Good morning, asshole. Heard you got shot. This seemed like a good time to tell you that Mandy's pregnant. Try not to die until after you meet the kid.
Forcing his fingers to relax so he didn't rip the page, Danny opened his eyes, continuing the letter.
If you're reading this, I'm probably dead. Is that a quote from something? Because I feel like it might be. But my head hurts too much to think about it. Look it up for me, will you, once you get the internet back?
A strangled laugh rose in Danny's chest, but the sound that escaped sounded more like a groan. Only Zack could make him want to laugh at a time like this.
I know that its kind of crazy to say that I know you're still alive, but I do. I told Mandy that I would just know if you were dead. She told me that I was nuts but I think part of her believes me. And it makes sense. We've been together from that first second, even if I did give you shit about being born two minutes after me. You know phantom limb syndrome? I figure there has to be some kind of phantom twin syndrome. If you were gone, I'd just know.
Danny thought about Gitmo, the wave of devastation that rolled over him the morning after the Nathan James arrived, even before they knew that Ruskov was planning to blow them to bits. It really had felt as though the world was ending, Danny's grief a physical ache so intense that he could barely breathe. At the time, he blamed it on losing Frankie, but could that have been the moment when Zack died? Was it possible that Danny knew the moment his brother left the planet and simply refused to accept it? Danny checked, but there was no date on the letter.
Or maybe I'm just full of shit and need to think that you're alive because of Chloe. But, god, I hope that I'm right. Because I'm taking one hell of a leap of faith here.
She's not sick, Danny.
This time, his breath caught and Danny straightened. Tex moved, as though to speak, but Danny waved him to silence.
Mandy got it first. We did all the things that they said, each to our own room with all the windows open. But then Mom got sick and Evie got sick. After I got sick, I was just waiting for Chloe to show signs but it's been ten days, Danny. I don't know how it's possible, but somehow Chloe wasn't exposed.
More likely, Chloe was immune. Danny wondered if Zack even knew such a thing was possible. Most likely not. In a town this size, even with five percent immunity, which Rachel said was the high end, two-hundred-fifty people might be immune. Based on the communities they had visited, luck explained just as many survivors as immunity. He had heard hundreds of stories of those who, like the crew of the Nathan James, survived by virtue of being far from civilization when the virus hit hard and fast.
Mom's gone. Mandy's barely coherent. I had to make a decision about Chloe, so I sent her to the Hubbards. Please let them take her.
Their neighbors to the north. Danny's heart leapt, only to be crushed, the slight change of handwriting suggesting that there had been a pause in writing.
Chloe came back a couple hours after she left. The Hubbards are sick too. They sent her to the Silvers, but they were gone. We probably all got infected from that last food delivery. What a choice — starve to death or die of the worst virus known to man. I considered ending it all then, D, I really did. I had the gun in my hand and Chloe was asleep in her room. Quick and painless. She would never have known what was coming. But then I thought about you. And I knew that you would be back to take care of her. I just needed to find Chloe somewhere to go until you managed to get your ass home.
Heart pounding, Danny pictured Zack picking up the gun found by his side — one that he likely used on himself after the others died, his body the only one with a bullet hole — and turning it on his nine-year-old daughter. The idea was unfathomable.
This morning I sent her to the school. It was marked as a safe zone back when this thing started and I'm just hoping someone there is still alive. I'm going to give her two days. If she's not back by then, I'll assume that they could keep her. I would have followed, made sure that she was safe, but we lost Mandy this afternoon and Evie needs me. I can't leave my baby here to die alone.
Tears pressed, but Danny refused to let them fall. He would mourn his sister-in-law and twelve-year-old niece later. The words on the page blurred.
Once Evie is gone and I'm sure that Chloe is taken care of, I'm going to end it. I wish that I could have seen you again, Danny, even just to say goodbye. But I have to think that there's a good reason. There are rumors about some doctor working on a cure and I'm going to imagine that you're with her saving the world. Just like you always claimed you would.
Danny's vision blurred. God, he hoped Zack meant that. That he didn't blame Danny for not being there.
Take care of Chloe, Danny. I'm trusting you. And take care of yourself. Because from now on, you're living for two.
Love, Zack
Living for two. At that, the tears Danny was struggling to control spilled over. How often had Danny said that to Zack before leaving on some deployment? Telling his brother to live it up for both of them — to make up for all the events that Danny would miss? Neither one of them had ever imagined that Danny would be the one left standing.
Brushing the tears away angrily, Danny looked to Tex. "We need to check the school."
An agonizing forty minutes passed before Danny walked through the doors to the familiar high school, the lobby dark and cold. He headed towards Carlton, who was explaining to an unfamiliar woman who they were and asking how they could help, interrupting their conversation. "I'm looking for Chloe. Chloe Green?"
Her face lighting up, the woman gestured towards the doors to the auditorium behind her, turning to call. "Chloe! Your dad is here!"
Already moving in that direction, focused on the fact that Chloe was here — was alive — it took a moment for the woman's words to register. Danny stopped, turning. "I'm not Zack."
But it was already too late. Chloe appeared, dashing through the small crowd of people. She was thin and slightly dirty, suggesting that showers were few and far between, but her face was alight with joy as she approached. Only to come to a crashing stop when she saw Danny.
Forcing a smile, Danny bent down, reaching a hand out to his niece. "Hi Chloe. It's Uncle Danny." But Chloe didn't move, not even to blink, as all the joy drained out of her. Danny took another step forward, uncertain of how to deal with this version of Chloe, so different from the happy and vibrant child he said goodbye to in May. His voice cracked. "I've been looking for you. I'm so glad that I found you."
But Chloe was still staring. Danny took one more step and then her mouth opened. "Noooooo!" The scream echoed in the auditorium as Chloe began sobbing. "I want my daddy! Not you! I want Daddy! I want my Daddy!"
Danny froze, so numb that he didn't notice the confusion around him until Tex appeared, his face inches from Danny. "Hey, Connecticut, you want to fill us in."
And that's when Danny realized that none of them knew. Tex, Burk, Wolf, Miller, none of them knew him from before. None of them understood.
"Zack and I are, were, twins." He managed to croak, swallowing before he continued. "Identical twins."
It was only because Tex was so close that Danny heard the intake of breath, saw the way Tex's eyes darted from Danny to Chloe and back, before he straightened. "Maybe give the kid a few minutes to adjust. That there was probably a hell of a shock."
Nodding, Danny turned, walking back to the lobby. He might have stood there for a minute or an hour, the horrible scene playing out in his mind again and again, before Tex reappeared.
"Well, Connecticut, I've got good news and I've got bad." Tex paused, as though to gauge how reasonable Danny was about to be. Given that Danny couldn't decide how he felt about anything that happened today, he couldn't reassure Tex. He had no idea how he would react either. "The Kid has calmed down but ... she doesn't want to see you."
Despite his numbness, the statement stung. Not that Danny blamed Chloe. She was a child, for Christ's sake. But that didn't change the facts.
"She can't stay here." He looked around. "None of them can. It's January and they've been scraping along on old canned corn with a few space heaters powered from a solar system that doesn't work well during the summer."
Nodding, Tex continued. "There's some lady, Hilary, who has been keeping an eye on Chloe. She said she's willing to go back to St. Louis with us. She wants to head to California to look for her son and his family. They were around LA." Neither man commented on how unlikely it was that Hilary would get a happy ending. "So we've got the travel covered. Just need a plan for once we get there. Because if I recall correctly, you will be shipping out with the Nathan James and even if the Commodore lets you bail, I'm not sure the Kid will be ready for one-on-one time by then."
For long moments, Danny stood frozen, then he pulled out his radio.
Tex raised an eyebrow. "You going to tell me what you're doing?"
At Tex's inquiring look, Danny felt his lips twist. "I'm moving forward."