Archive of Our Own ^beta

[RYAN]: This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved, we cover the highly mysterious disappearance of Alastor Hartfelt, a nearly century old case about a radio host who vanished at the height of his career.

[SHANE]: …Not the best time to disappear, ya’ know? While you’re working on a radio show.

[RYAN]: I mean, yeah. That would be like if you or I suddenly vanished while working on this episode.

[SHANE]: That would make for good TV.

[RYAN]: We’re not on—

[SHANE]: Maybe this was a publicity stunt?

Ryan stares at Shane for several seconds in stunned silence. Shane looks completely nonplussed as he takes an exaggeratedly long sip from a ceramic mug that says ‘World’s #1 Ghost Hunters.

[RYAN]: Alastor’s been missing since December 14, 1933!

[SHANE]: I’ve heard stranger.

[RYAN]: No one’s going to sabotage their own career by disappearing for a century, I...you know what? Maybe let’s not try slandering the dead guy?

[SHANE]: Don’t make assumptions. It’s rude. He could still be alive.

[RYAN]: You’re telling me that you seriously believe Alastor faked his disappearance for 92 years just to help boost his career?

[SHANE]: Okay, yeah, when you put it that way, it doesn’t sound the best. But we’re all thinking it. Maybe some people just don’t want to be talking to ghosties through a noisy box everyday.

[RYAN]: You’re a madman—You know what? We’re getting off track. What a way to start an episode, huh?

[SHANE]: My grandpa had a radio.

[RYAN]: (Wheeze) Sure he did.

[SHANE]: He’s dead now, Ryan. He’s dead, and you’re laughing.

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Alastor Hartfelt was born the only son of Ms. XXXX Hartfelt. His father remains unknown, but is believed to have been a prominent political figure in New Orleans.

Not much is known about Alastor Hartfelt’s early life, but it’s been purported that his mother was murdered in his adolescence, and that he may or may not have spent a high percentage of his childhood in an orphanage.

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[SHANE]: We don’t know anything else about this guy? You’d think an orphanage would keep better track of their kids.

[RYAN]: Sadly, this wasn’t all too uncommon for the time. A lot of kids were orphaned from the 1905 Yellow Fever epidemic, and that’s not even getting into all of the other diseases that plagued the city.

[SHANE]: Not a good time for anyone.

[RYAN]: …Unless you were a rich white male. A high percentage of kids were orphaned due to the race riots, murders….such as what happened to that poor woman.

[SHANE]: Do we really know that little about her?

[RYAN]: Yeah, again, not too uncommon, but you’d think with a public figure like Alastor, there’d be more information. But it really does feel like he fell off the face of the earth after 1933.

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Barely anything is known about Alastor Hartfelt, but it was evident that he had mixed heritage. His mother was believed to be Creole, but that’s about as much information as there is on her. The only accounts we have of her purported demise are from a few recordings of Alastor mentioning her in the ‘past-tense.’

And as for the rest of his childhood, again, nothing is known. It’s as if he didn’t even exist, but again, corruption and abuse were horrifically rampant in orphanages during that time, especially towards children with darker skin or mixed heritage.

With how scarce information is, it’s equally as possible that Alastor may have fled from an orphanage and spent the earliest parts of his life on the streets.

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Shane buries his face in his hands, while Ryan awkwardly pats him on the back.

[SHANE]: This isn’t a…I’m just—

[RYAN]: It’s not Narnia for sure, but don’t worry, things get a little better from here.

[SHANE]: And then he disappears.

[RYAN]: Well, Alastor’s dead now.

[SHANE]: Ghosts still aren’t real, Ryan.

[RYAN]: (Wheeze)