Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a cool, sunny Tuesday afternoon when Kakashi’s dad decided to take him out for training.

To any five-year-old, this would seem to be a beautiful father-son day. Kakashi begged to differ.

“Dad, can’t you just teach me some new jutsu? I already know this stuff,”

 He whined as Sakumo made him reluctantly practice tai-jutsu.

“Now now, Kakashi. Taijutsu is one of the three main styles. I know you want to do the ‘cool’ stuff, but you have to work on the basics.”

He huffed at that. Who was he to go around, making him sound so impatient? So childish? All he wanted to do was learn something new for once. The academy didn’t offer that wide a range of jutsu, so what’s the deal? Can’t a kid learn?

 “I know that. I just want to do something else. We already do tai-jutsu training a bunch at the academy. I can beat everyone when sparring. It’s boring,” he says, almost whining, punching the post with more force than necessary. “... please?”

Sakumo chuckled from the bench. Hmph. What is he laughing about?

“What?” Kakashi grumbled. This guy…

“Sakumo! Fancy seeing you here.“ Well, speak of the devil…

Kakashi pauses his repetitive training, glancing at the new arrival in green. Maito Dai, was it? Dad had always stopped to talk to him out on the street. They chattered whenever they saw each other. And every single time, Kakashi is forced to wait idly by his father’s side. Accompanying Dai was usually his son, a boy named Gai.

Gai was around Kakashi’s age, but never quite in his league. He was mediocre at chakra control. He also lacked in terms of academic intelligence. His only redeeming quality might be his potential in tai-jutsu and his unwavering determination. But Kakashi could always beat him anyway. Always going around in bright green, being loud and obnoxious, trying to embody his dad, a pathetic excuse for a shinobi. Well, just look at their attire. But Dad had always told him otherwise for some reason.

That’s besides the point. The point is, Gai didn’t have talent or much potential, unlike Kakashi. It was Kakashi’s truth. It was the truth.

“What are you doing here?” Kakashi asked, not really caring for the answer.

“Kakashi! You’re here too? That settles it then! Kakashi,” Gai posed dramatically, pointing a finger at the other, “I came to train, and I challenge you to a spar!”

“A spar?” Kakashi repeated, amused. “Tch. Don’t make me laugh. Why? Just so I’d beat you?”

“Don’t underestimate me! I promise I’m strong!” Gai retorts. There’s no way he’s backing down! He came all this way for this moment! He’ll show Kakashi just how strong he’s gotten! He’ll show him that even Maito Gai can triumph in battle against the prodigy, Hatake Kakashi-!

“Hard pass.” Kakashi sighed lazily, returning to his previous training. Beating people in spars, like all things in the universe, just loses its fun when you do it too much, too often. He almost feels bad for the kid.

“Come on!” Gai exclaimed, getting into a fighting position, “Don’t tell me you’re too much of a coward!”

Coward?

“Coward?” Kakashi’s gaze darkens, “If that’s how you want to play, then bring it on!”

He shifts into a fighting stance, mirroring the other boy’s. He’ll show him cowardly. He’ll make that obnoxious bastard eat his words.

“Ready? On the count of three, Kakashi!”

Right-

“One!” Their gazes lock onto each other, taking in the boy who stands before them. Already dreaming about the ‘clear’ victor.Which was themselves in their eyes.

“Two!” They bend their knees, anticipating the moment when they must jump; hoping to land the first hit and achieve the upper hand.

“Three!”

They lunge at each other, Kakashi’s irritation and Gai’s determination fueling their moves. Gai shot jabs which Kakashi dodged with practised ease. He’d kick, block, and weave in response to Gai’s endless barrage of attacks, something he’d worked on for hours at a time. He made half-hearted attempts at landing a strike on Gai, which of course ended in a counter. 

Shot after shot, jab after jab, Kakashi found himself having fun as he retaliated. Perhaps he had thought wrongly of him. The two hadn’t exactly sparred often or at all, for that matter, so seeing someone who had worked tirelessly in tai-jutsu was refreshing for the boy. “ This might be fun, ” he thought, getting into the spirit of things.

Gai swung his leg high. He has to prove to Kakashi how strong he is. Because today, he’s decided he’ll be his rival for eternity! Kakashi is so amazing. If he could just be his rival, then they’d both get a whole lot stronger, and they’d be friends! Just like pa and Sakumo! “ Just imagine! ” he thought, excitement coursing through him. They’d be unstoppable, just like their fathers! If only he’d agree.

Time passed, thick with enjoyment rarely seen around the stoic Kakashi. But like all things, the fight grew repetitive with Gai being the main fighter. Eventually, Kakashi grew bored of the back and forth. He could see that Gai was also running out of steam. He’d better end this quickly, so as not to wound his ego by winning with time. As the other boy slid back, going in for another hit. Kakashi lunged forward as well, running past the boy in haste to end the spar, and landed a blow to his gut.

Gai fell back, his breath leaving him in a sharp exhale. Exhaustion quickly caught up to him from the fight that dragged on far too long. Sweat dripped from his body while trying to triumph over the prodigy standing before him. It became clear to Gai, however, that he still had a long way to go in terms of training and all else.

“Done already?” Kakashi tried to insert his usual cocky attitude into his words, but he was also evidently tired from the exchange. Doing nothing but testing the waters was new to him. Kakashi knew he’d have to spar with Gai again, whether he wanted to or not. He nods his head, reassuring himself that this would be a good investment.

“Not- even… close…!” Gai managed to huff, his hand clutching where the other boy had dug his fist into. Damn it, that hurt! But it’s to be expected from Kakashi! He thought back to the spar that had just happened. Kakashi had done nothing but counter! And yet he had still somehow managed to win! At least Gai had a good idea of how well Kakashi could retaliate. He nods, “Good to know,” he managed to think, wincing slightly at the ache, “I’ll win for sure next time with this knowledge!”

Sakumo walked over to the two boys, bottles of water in hand for each of them. “Well, well, well,~” he smiled, handing them each a bottle, “that was an interesting fight. I didn’t expect such mercy from you, Kakashi.”

“Mercy? Was that how it looked?” Kakashi wondered. Mercy? He wasn’t one to take such pity on others! “I was studying his moveset, not mercying him,” he blurted, chugging the water.

“So he was studying me!” Gai thought fiercely, taking the bottle from Sakumo with a grateful nod, ”stunning play, Kakashi. I should’ve expected as much from you.”

He turned to his father, who was watching the spar from the comfort of the bench with Kakashi’s dad. “Pa! Did you see me there? I want to train even harder!” He turns to Kakashi, who had just pulled his mask up after finishing the drink, “Don’t worry, Kakashi! I’ll beat you next time! Just you wait! I’ll get so strong, you’ll have to accept me as your rival!”

“Yeah, yeah. You’ll win next time for sure. Not,” he said smugly, not being able to help the smirk threatening to show on his lips, “Suck it up, Gai. You can’t even use ninjutsu. How can you expect to ever rival me?”

“Gah-! I’ll make you take those words back! Just watch, I’ll be a splendid ninja, then you’ll have to accept me as your rival!”

“Don’t press your luck,” he rolls his eyes. When will he learn? “C’mon Dad, let’s go. I’ve had enough training today.” Sakumo sighs at his son’s blunt words. “I suppose I’ll see you around then, Dai.”

“Same for you, Sakumo!” The two in green smile and wave as Kakashi steps out of the field, “Goodbye Kakashi!”

 --<-<-<@

Bonus:

“Kakashi,” Sakumo said as they walked home leisurely, “remember what I told you when you first got into the academy? How you shouldn’t underestimate Gai?”

He thought back to a few months ago, at the end of summer, when he first got accepted, whereas Gai hadn’t. “Yeah?”

“Well… I’m starting to believe I was right. He’s training hard. Don’t tell me you didn’t notice that when you sparred.”

He huffs, “I did. He’s still a bit sloppy.”

Sakumo chuckled, “He’ll get better with time. Especially with Dai always training him.”

Hm… “Hey, Dad… could you spar with me when we get back?”

“Oh?”

“I just want to get better. I won’t fall behind someone like him.”

He sighs, a hint of amusement seeping through, “Sure, we can spar later.”

“You two would make good friends.”

Kakashi bristles at that. Friends? With Gai? “Tch. Don’t bet on it.”

Chapter Text

“Pa!” Gai shouted across the room after running in from outside, “Come look at this!” He gave his father the sheet, panting but grinning from ear to ear.

“You what?!” Dai grinned as he read the news, “It’s official! You got in Gai! This calls for celebration. What do you want to do on this special day?” he asked with that excited tone of his. Dai had always had an accent when talking. His voice strained ever so slightly whenever he felt truly boisterous, emphasizing his words like they meant the entire world. 

And to Gai, they did. He had found it fun, amusing even. Everything about his father was amazing to him. Naturally, he tried his best copying him.

“I wanna see Kakashi’s score! It’s only natural if I wanna be the strongest shinobi ever, like you!” he flashed a thumbs up like his father does occasionally. Dai’s heart practically melted at the kid’s excitement. Saying he was proud was an understatement.

“It’s settled then! How about I make arrangements for the evening to celebrate the end of term! I’m sure Sakumo would happily agree!”

“Yeah! Let’s do it pa!” Gai grinned with pride. He’ll show Kakashi how far he’s grown! Maybe then, he could build up his courage to ask him! He’ll be his rival, no matter the cost. Kakashi won’t know what’s coming for him, Gai thought, almost cocky.

Meanwhile, at the Hatake household, Kakashi had also just arrived with his marks.

“A 98! That’s wonderful Kakashi,” Sakumo smiled, praising his son, “how about we celebrate? Your graduation is soon. I feel it’s only natural.”

“It’s just a mark. I could’ve gotten better anyway.” he quipped. Despite his blunt words, Kakashi knew just how well he’d done. He got the top marks after all. In fact, he was quite happy hearing his father praise him. It sounded right to his ears, and he could feel his pride swell at his words.

“Besides,” he continued, trying his best to mask his inner feelings,”if you’re suggesting that we have Gai over, then forget it. I saw him run back to his house with too much glee. He’d be way too energetic. And I just wanna rest.”

Sakumo smiled. He knew how stubborn Kakashi could be when it comes to compassion, or being kind in general. He also knew, however, that his son wasn’t heartless. “He’ll open up eventually,” he thought, already imagining the laughter he’d hear as Kakashi grew older.

“I still think we should ask them to come over. It could just be for the end of term,” his father said, grabbing his coat. The air was colder today, and he decided he’d go out to make plans. “I’m off to make plans with Dai. Are you coming?”

“If Gai is going to be there, then forget it. I’m going to take a nap.” Kakashi sighed, parting ways with his father. Climbing in bed, he thought about what he’d even do with the boy. Spar? He’d rather save his breath even arguing it. He mentally sighs. That’s a problem for the other day.

Saturday rolls around, and to Kakashi’s greatest dismay, Gai has come over for tea.

“ Stupid dad, ” Kakashi thought, “ does he even listen? Didn’t I say I wanted to rest?” He huffed as Gai approached him eagerly, standing in his backyard.

“Kakashi! I’ve finally caught up.” He flashes an obnoxious thumbs up, “I’ve been accepted into the academy! How about them apples?” he grins, hoping to impress the younger boy with his boasting.

“Really?” Kakashi asked, genuine surprise leaking through his aloof facade. It’s not that he didn’t believe in Gai, it’s just that he thought that Gai would’ve joined much sooner. Hearing the news now was quite odd. He quickly schools his thoughts. “That’s odd. If I’m mistaken, you’re a year older than me,” he continued, trying to mask his slip in demeanor, “and yet I’ve already graduated.”

“You WHAT?!” he exclaimed. How could this be?! The ninja academy was meant to be a multi-year program! How could Kakashi have managed to complete the entire thing in under a year?! Was he truly that exceptional of a shinobi? Gai gave a determined huff, “ Truly worthy of being my rival! ” he concluded.

He thought of all the ways he could praise and congratulate his friend. However, “Hngh….! Fight me Kakashi!” with unbridled enthusiasm was the only thing that came out of his mouth. How could he say everything when his tone conveyed it all? Kakashi was a prodigy. He could surely beat him any day. But that only fueled his desire to spar him again. With that in mind, there’s no way he’d refuse-

“No.” Kakashi replied without thinking, exasperated already. He knew it’d come to this, but he really didn’t feel like sparring.

“What do you mean ‘no’?! Fight me! Please!” Gai pressed, his determination unwavering. He’ll get a fight, no matter the cost!

“I said no.” Kakashi continued, too irritated to give in.

“Please?”

“What part of no do you not understand?”

“Why not then?!”

“Because.” Kakashi said before pausing. 

Why not indeed? It’s not like he was scared of losing to him. He wasn’t even that tired. In fact, he thought it’d be a good way to spend his time. So why decline? Was he just too stubborn? Too prideful to take back what he had said? “It’s a waste of time. You won’t win anyway,” he lied, trying to stall time to think.

Oblivious to Kakashi’s inner turmoil, Gai pouted indignantly. “That’s not true! I’ll show you what my training has led me to becoming! I’m much better now! So fight me!”

Kakashi glared coldly, causing Gai to shrink back slightly. His shouting was preventing him from thinking properly. 

Now he remembers why he didn’t want to spar. “ I won’t give into my emotions. I’m not going to let him play me. Like a real shinobi, “ he thought.

Gai pouted again, sitting down on the lush grass. “Not true.“ he mumbled. “You’re so unyouthful, Kakashi. It doesn’t matter your age, you should be ready for battle! Friendly or not, embrace your youth!” he exclaimed, flashing a thumbs up as Kakashi sat beside him, already returning to his normal, cheery self.

“Embrace my youth?” Kakashi asked, intrigued.

“Yosh! It’s the way of the mighty Maitos!” Gai grinned, happy his friend was taking an interest in his father’s teachings.

“Mighty Maitos…”Kakashi almost snorts at the corny name. He had completely forgotten about Gai’s last name. To hear it being used so… cornily was enough to make him laugh.

Noticing Kakashi’s reaction, Gai is forced to inquire. “Yes! Anything wrong with that?”

“No no. It’s just…” Kakashi pauses, thinking of how straightforward he’ll word this. “It’s ridiculous.”

“What?! What makes you say that?!“ Gai sputters, now on the defensive. Who just does that? Telling people how ridiculous their family name is?!

“It’s so corny, Gai. Surely you see that, right? The ‘Mighty Maiots,’ who comes up with that?” Kakashi teases, willing himself not to laugh. His tone is surprisingly light, a contrast to the stoicism he showed just a minute ago.

“It is not!” Gai retorts, continuing to defend his family name, “And it’s true! We fight with taijutsu! Using all our might!”

“Hence the name?” Kakashi quipped smugly.

“Gh-!” He starts, unable to finish his sentence at the heat rising up his neck, onto his cheeks. “You’re so cruel,” he manages to spit out.

“Oh, am I? I’m only saying what I hear. And what I hear is a corny name. I almost feel bad–”

“Don’t talk about pops like that!“ Gai shouts, cutting Kakashi off. Kakashi may insult him, but an offense on his bloodline, his father, is a grave offense on him. “He works extra hard! It’s not my fault you can’t appreciate that fact! Just ‘cus we can’t use many things other than taijutsu, I bet we work ten times harder to make up for it!” He continues, emotion glossing over his eyes.

Kakashi knew Gai to be an emotional boy, but he could tell he had pushed a bit far on this.

“You’re being dramatic,” he continued, “you can’t blame me for thinking ‘Mighty Maitos’ to be ridiculous. It’s just an opinion, especially with your…” he gestured to Gai’s clothes, “...questionable attire.”

Gai sniffed, trying to hear the other boy out. “So?”

Kakashi paused again, suddenly aware of the weight of his opinion. “It’s weird," he says finally, holding back the harsh words he’d thought he’d rather say.

Gai wiped his unshed tears at Kakashi’s unusually kind and compassionate response. “Is it?” he smiled.

“Very.”

“Kakashi...!”

“What?”

Gai paused, shaking his head at his idea. He’d rather ask him in a more extravagant way! That way, he can’t refuse to be his rival! “Never mind,” he said through the grin plastered back on his face.

“...You’re weird,” Kakashi said flatly.

“You think?“

“I know. It’s hard to mistake you for being anything else.” He said, eyeing the other.

Gai’s face softens as his gaze drops, “Other kids say that too.”

Kakashi raises an eyebrow at his change in demeanor, “Other kids?”

Gai quickly snaps out of his vulnerability, plastering a nervous grin on his face. “Ahah, yeah, they say the same thing. ‘So weird,’ ‘grow up,’ things like that. ” he says, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, Kakashi’s wolf-like instincts too keen to fall for the deception.

“Why let them?” He asks, “you get emotional when I do it. What? Do you hate me? If so, stop hanging around me. It’d be best for both of us.”

“It’s not that-!” Gai explains rather hurriedly, “I just… you’re different. Y’know?”

“Different how?”

“You’re better than them! At everything! So…” Gai wavers, crossing his legs tighter, “it kinda stings more. Pa says not to let their words get to me, but…” His eyes begin to gloss again, his emotions far too abundant to contain. He brings his legs to his chest, hoping to dull the ache.

“They called me ‘beast face’… ‘big mouth’…” he continued, his voice cracking and a pitch too high.

“If you’re that ‘mighty’ then just shut them up. You speak so highly of your family name, but you don’t have any bite to your barking.” he says sternly. Gai’s sudden shift in mood brought the boy confusion, something he dislikes. It also brought along a sense of comradery. Sure, Gai was obnoxious and loud-mouthed, but Kakashi never saw it as something to be bullied for. It was just… Gai. It wouldn’t be him if someone took away any of his features, physical or personality-wise.

“You’re practically asking to be bullied,” Kakashi continues bluntly.

“What do you know, you’re so… cool, and smart, and… you don’t get bullied like that.” Gai sniffs.

Kakashi’s eyebrows furrow at his stubbornness. Add that to the already lengthy list of traits Gai has. “Don’t you take pride in your name?”

Gai’s head snaps to Kakashi at the rather ridiculous question, “of course I do!”

“Then act like it. You’re being childish!”

He nods swiftly, holding in a gasp, and willing the tears away at Kakashi’s words. He was never this compassionate. Gai even doubted Kakashi had the capacity to show sympathy. His eyes shined, now with newfound admiration for the boy next to him.

“Kakashi… fight me, please!”

“Ugh! Shut up!”

--<-<-<@

Bonus:

Meanwhile, inside:

While Kakashi and Gai were busy bickering outside, their fathers, Sakumo and Dai were enjoying cups of tea.

“Sakumo,“ Dai began, “I have to ask: Why go so far for us? It’s an honor to be so acquainted with the White Fang, but I’m not sure of your motives.”

Sakumo sips his tea leisurely, “I feel that Kakashi would benefit nicely from Gai’s company.”

He smiles warmly, taking a bite of cake, “I agree. If I may say, Gai always had eyes for Kakashi, ever since we met a year ago. He keeps talking about how he’ll be his rival! I can’t say it isn’t endearing.”

“Oh?” Sakumo chuckles, “I can’t say the same for Kakashi. But I do hope Gai gets what he wants. Kakashi is….” he smirks, “shy, if you will. I can’t help but notice him hiding behind blunt words and apathy. I’d even go as far as to say he’s lonely at the top. Having Gai as his rival would surely make things interesting for him.”

Dai laughs at that. To think that son of the White Fang would be considered shy! “We’re both just fathers, aren’t we, Sakumo?”

Sakumo smiles, “To some amazing children we are.”

Chapter Text

Kakashi arrived home from school later than usual that day. He had finally gotten news on when the ceremony was to take place. “A week from now,” sensei had said. The news had filled his mind, so he decided to take the liberty of taking a walk. The air was growing more humid as April approached. The clouds in the sky grew darker, threatening to rain any second. Kakashi didn’t mind this, though. In fact, the weather pleased him today.

“I’m home,” he said, hanging his coat at the doorway. Taking his shoes off, he takes in the dark and quiet environment. “ I didn’t come too late, did I? ” he thought to himself as he stepped in.

He walks through the building, growing more weary with each step. Unfamiliar scents reach his nose. “Dad…? They… said the ceremony is in a week…” He says to the seemingly empty house, voice wavering slightly. He strains his ears for a response, but nothing but silence talks back to him.

“Dad? Is this a joke?” He says, checking the bathroom. Nothing. No one. The scent grows stronger. It almost seems like iron. “It’s not funny,” he continues, the beating of his heart quickening.

He checks his room, “Dad?” He says into the darkness. Nothing. He lingers longer than he needs to, listening to the rain start to pour and the distant thunder from outside.

He gets to the end of the hall, hand trembling over the doorknob to his father’s room. The scent is overwhelming now. It’s impossible to mistake what’s behind the door. But the young Kakashi was too naive to accept it. “ He isn’t, ” he thought, “ he can’t be. He’s dad. He’s fine, he’s- ” He stops his thoughts from spiraling further, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

He’s a shinobi, damn it! He won’t let his feelings get a hold of him. He’ll face the truth. Like a real shinobi.

In one motion, he opens the door, dreading what he’ll see on the other side. The smell of rot and iron reaches his nose, his eyes clenched too tightly shut to see anything. “Dad…?” He utters, unable to hide his unease. When nothing responds, Kakashi forces his eyes open into a squint.

Immediately, they widen as his eyes fall onto the soul-wrenching sight.

“Dad…!” he whispers, his breath catching in his throat. The view of his father, kunai to his stomach, was not a pretty one to such a young boy, no matter how high and mighty he presents himself.

Lightning strikes, casting light on the body. The booming thunder following suit added to the panic rising in Kakashi’s chest.

He thinks back to the way his father had spoken, all the harsh and icy words he had said to him. The cold sweat building on his forehead paled in comparison.

“So you do love me,” his father had said one night, walking home, smiling after Kakashi had asked him not to leave.

Yet his reply was none the colder.

“Tch. Don’t let it get to you,” Kakashi replied, a voice blunt and defensive. Though he did well hiding it. “At least I didn’t abandon my mission. I thought you took pride in this village. You said it was less important than your comrades. I disagree.” Kakashi used that retort often whenever he felt his control slipping. Was it his fault? Did that do it?

“Yes, a shinobi’s mission is top priority; however, I believe one should save a life whenever they can. You should learn how important camaraderie is, Kakashi.”

Thinking back to the moment now, the way his father grimaced was a show-sign of his unraveling. Kakashi blamed himself for not noticing it sooner.

Abandoning his mission had always been what Kakashi held over his father’s head whenever he felt threatened. No… it was for an even pettier reason. He just… felt like it sometimes.

“ It wasn’t- it shouldn’t be my fault! ” Kakashi thought, tears welling up in his eyes. “ I shouldn’t apologize! “ He took a breath, trying to control his breathing, coming in sharp spasms. “The other villagers did it, you didn’t bat an eye! Even your teammates shunned you! You said it was fine, you said it didn’t bother you! I shouldn’t-” The water in his eyes began to fall freely now. With no one around to witness such a disgraceful sight, Kakashi allowed himself to cry.

“Stupid dad… You did this to yourself. Your mission is shinobi’s top priority. Everyone’s going to fault you for that. But-... If you can save your stupid teammates-... if you can stay with them, then why-” he hiccupped, trying and failing to contain the raw emotion he’s feeling. “Why couldn’t you do the same for me?!” He wailed, voice strained. He falls to his knees and sobs by his father’s side.

This went on for hours; Kakashi cried into the night. His eyes felt red and puffy, his voice raspy from the cries he screamed, cursing his father. He hated it. “ How could you do this? ” He thought to himself as he lay by the body near him. “ You were my dad, right? Why did you- ” his body tenses, unable to finish the thought. 

He reaches for the now dead man, his small figure unable to touch him with his back turned. His eyes water with tears he can no longer shed. His arm lingers for a moment more before dropping to the ground with a thud.

“The ceremony is in a week, Dad…” he mutters, his voice cracking with emotion he can’t cry out. He listens, hopes, wishes for a response. “They said I’m the first to graduate at five. ‘You’re dad should be proud,’ they said.” He clenches his fists. “I don’t care if you are. You clearly didn’t care about your mission.”

“ or me… ” His brain continues, a blizzard freezing over his broken heart. He clenches his fist tighter, knuckles going white like snow. 

“I hate you… dad… I hope I’ll never end up being like you.” He said finally, closing his eyes, falling into a restless sleep.

Chapter Text

Gai walked home in the rain. Despite his wishes to stay and train, his Dad had told him to come home once it started pouring. He was a little late, half because he tried to salvage all the time he could to practice, half because he found it enjoyable today. He’d usually prefer the sun, but he’d make today an exception.

He steps in, taking off his sandals. “I’m home Pa!” He says, grinning sheepishly. He’s probably going to get a scolding for this…

Dai raised an eyebrow from the living room. “Stayed out training, I see!” Gai braces himself for something that doesn’t come. Instead, his father smiles proudly, “Atta boy, Gai! Keep working hard, you’ll need it for when you get to the academy!”

Gai relaxes. He wonders what he expected. “I got a bit carried away! But I got to a hundred thirty-two kicks today instead of only a hundred!” He grins, happy to tell his father about his recent progress.

“Just what I expected from you, son,” his father said. Leave it to him to lift Gai’s spirit. “However, you should go shower. ‘Wouldn’t want you catching a cold now, would we?” Gai straightens up, “Right!” He exclaimed, marching gleefully to the bathroom.

As he washed up, Gai couldn’t help but think about how Kakashi would be recognized as a real genin in a few days. It’s odd to think about. Who’s team would he even be on? He was much too young to fit into anyone’s age group. He’s pretty sure that Kakashi is the youngest person to graduate… ever!

As steam fills the tub, Gai wonders how he’ll ever get on par with the younger boy. He was a prodigy! Even Gai couldn’t deny that. Son of the White Fang himself, Kakashi would surely be above average, but to think he’s that much better! Refraining from asking Kakashi to be his rival was the right call. If he really wanted him to be his rival, then he knows he won’t be able to do so through sheer strength alone, for the time being at least.

So how? An emotional approach instead? “ Yes! ” Gai thought, “ It’s perfect! ” Kakashi had shown that he was more than capable of feeling compassion. To get through to him, Gai would have to be creative!

Stepping out, fully dressed and warm once more, Gai grabbed a paper and pen. He concluded that he’d write a letter! One so poetic and touching, Kakashi would have no right to refuse!

“ But how to start? ” he wondered out loud, catching the attention of his father as he tapped his pen on the surface. Dai walked up to him and rested an arm on the chair. “What’s all this, Gai?” he asked, hoping to help.

Gai’s attention was pulled to his father next to him, “I’m writing a letter! To Kakashi!” he said, his excitement visibly coursing through him, uncontained. “I’ve decided that I want to be his rival!”

“His rival, you say?” Dai asked, looking at the empty sheet of paper in front of them. “Well! It just so happens that I have quite the experience in creative writing!” He struck a pose, mimicking a rose between his lips. “It’s how I met your mother! She was absolutely smitten with my words. ‘So poetic!’ She’d tell me! Any advice you need, I’ll give it, Gai!” He winks, “Not without hardship of course!”

Gai laughed. Dad had said that Ma died while giving birth. “Don’t let her death be in vain, Gai! Train like never before! Push yourself to the limit!” he had shouted during a particularly tiresome training session with him. Despite this though, he never made the topic taboo. Whenever Gai asked, he told. Even when he didn’t, his father told him wonderful stories about Gai’s mother. Dai always had a way with words, making everything sound so motivational and alive. Perhaps it was because of this, his mother married him.

He would ask his father to pass his knowledge onto him, Gai decided. Anything that helped his chances with Kakashi.

“Teach me then! I want to know all about poetry, Pa!” Gai exclaimed. The excitement of learning something new from his father increased tenfold.

Dai flashed a thumbs-up and a grin to him, “You got it! I am your father after all! I’ll gladly teach you about the world of poetry! You must be strong-minded as well as physically! Let’s begin!”

And so they worked at the letter, Dai giving his son any tips necessary to improve, and Gai sucking them in like water to a sponge. Looking at the scene, it was quite beautiful. A touching father-son moment that Gai would surely remember. A stark contrast to the ordeal going on in the Hatake household just a few blocks downtown.

They work hard on the letter for hours, using it to pass the time with the rain providing ambience outside. The distant thunder mimics the way Gai’s heart pounds every time he thinks about the moment when he has to give the letter to Kakashi. Eventually, as the sun sets, leaving them with the humid evening, a single light illuminates the table they work on; they finally finish.

Dai smiles proudly as Gai reads through the letter for what seems like the hundredth time, the satisfaction of having it finally put into words, tangible and in his hand, never wears thin. “I’d say you did a good job, Gai!” his father said, crossing his arms, “Kakashi won’t be able to refuse this!” Gai nods, taking in his work. “Yeah! We’ll be rivals for sure-!”

He gets cut off as a heavy splash of rain hits the window, the sound echoing through their home. “Whoa…” He said, wincing as the loud noise hits his ears, “It’s raining a lot. I hope Kakashi’s doing okay.”

His father smiles and pats his back, reassuring him. “He’ll be fine! It’s only a bit of rain, and Sakumo is with him! So don’t worry, Gai.”

He grins, clenching the letter close to his chest, his excitement growing with each passing second. “Can we give it today, Pa?” Gai asks, his eyes wide and bright. Dai can only stand proud to have a child as warm as Gai is.

“Sorry, Gai. But look around you. The sun has already set!” he pats the kid’s head affectionately. “Maybe tomorrow, when the sky clears up. The opportunity might not have come today, but keep your youth burning bright for tomorrow! Yosh!” Dai said, holding a fist up, to which Gai laughs in admiration. “Yosh!” he said, mimicking his father.

He couldn’t wait any longer. Gai jumped off his seat and rushed to bed. “I’ll sleep right now! So tomorrow can arrive as fast as possible!” he exclaimed, already in his room.

He set the letter aside on his bedside table, keeping it close so as not to misplace it. He turned the light off with a click, wrapping himself like a burrito in the blankets. Soon after, fast asleep peacefully.

He had left Dai at the table, smiling to himself at the fact that his son was so strongly-willed. He had been accepted into the academy despite his failures, pushed past the name-calling by ignorant children, trained hard, and found someone he looked up to other than himself. He felt prideful in calling Gai his son.

And Gai felt the same.

Before falling into his restful slumber, he whispered into his pillow contently, “I love you, Pa. I hope I’ll grow up to be just like you!”

Chapter Text

Kakashi slept through the night on the cold floor, beside his father’s rotting corpse. Opening his eyes, he felt dizzy from crying. The curtains were wide open, and it hurt looking at the bright sun; a contrast to the scene in his father’s room. The stench of oxidized blood filled the room, but he didn’t care. All his spiraling and wailing had made Kakashi grow numb and despise the old man, yet he couldn’t bring himself to brush off his death.

Lying on the wooden floorboards, he reaches out to his father’s body again, their skin brushing together finally. Yet, instead of a warm embrace, Kakashi only felt the cold, lifelessness in them both. The feeling left him hollow. He shut his eyes, squeezing them tight together, hoping his father would jump up, revealing it was all for a scare out of him.

He was left hoping he’d wake up in a cold sweat in the early morning when the sun didn’t shine yet, so he could crawl into his father’s bed, into his soothing arms and sleep knowing he’d never leave him. Knowing this was all a nightmare, and that Dad was there to cradle him. Hoping sensei would release the genjutsu, revealing that it was just a drill to show the other kids how cruel the shinobi world could be, and that he’d go home complaining to his father over dinner about the harsh things sensei had done and yet how he’d handled it with expertise like always.

Hoping Dad was still there, waiting behind him with that unreadable yet soft expression of his to say, “I love you, Kakashi.”

But of course, he was being naive. He was being stupid for thinking such a thing could happen. His father was right there after all. In front of his eyes, under his touch, up his nose, the proof that he was dead was all there.

--<-<-<@

Gai awoke with an odd feeling in his gut. Everything felt off, askew, like a sense of dread, yet he didn’t know where it came from. Maybe he was just hungry. He had skipped dinner in favor of making today arrive faster after all.

He brushed off the feeling, jumping out of bed with glee, grabbing the letter on his way out.

“‘Morning Dad!” He said warmly, sitting at the table as Dai made breakfast.

“Good morning, Gai!” His father exclaimed and greeted him warmly.

“What are you making?” Gai asked curiously.

“I’ve decided to make some strawberry cream sandwiches today! We can take it out with us when we go train later.”

Gai grinned, grateful for his dad's efforts. “Yeah! Let’s do that!” He said as Dai brought the finished food over to the table, mouth watering at the sight. “Thank you for the food!” he exclaims, digging in.

The thick cream mixed with fresh strawberries tasted heavenly against his lips! 

And the bread was so soft and fluffy! He couldn’t help the tinge of pride he felt in his ego knowing that he’d chosen it. “It’s so good!” He grinned, taking another bite, wanting to fit in as much as he could into his mouth.

“Slow down, it’s not going anywhere. I made plenty! Don’t tell me you’ll eat them all before we can go out. You’ll get sick.” Dai said, taking a sandwich for himself.

His son smiled sheepishly, “Sorry, but it’s so good, Pa!” he said, making Dai’s heart swell. 

He wondered how Sakumo’s day was going so far, considering how irritable Kakashi was in the mornings, according to what he told him. He laughed audibly at the thought. It was amusing thinking about how different the two children were.

--<-<-<@

“The ceremony is in a few days,” he said, voice cracking again with conflicted emotion. “I don’t want to go. I’ll become a genin anyway. What’s the point if you-...” He stops himself, his breath catching in his throat, forbidding him from continuing.

“I don’t want to see Gai. I never did. Why did you have to bring him over?” he continued, switching topics now, “I hate him. I hate you, Dad.”

The hollowness grew, but not from hunger, although he was famished. He hadn’t had anything to eat since yesterday’s lunch. But Kakashi didn’t cook, not because he couldn’t, but because he wasn’t ready to leave his father’s side. He wished with a broken piece of his heart that he, too, could just reunite with his father. Wished he could follow in his footsteps to wherever he was now.

“I hate you,” Kakashi muttered again, the words tasting bitter against his lips.

He was a mess of inner conflict. What did he want now? “I want to be better than you,” he replied to himself. “You were a pathetic shinobi anyway. I don’t know why I ever considered you to be anything but a biological father,” he lied. 

He had to lie. Continuing to feel connected would only cause more pain, right? So it was pointless. A waste of energy. The only way he could live on was to feel content. His father’s death did not evoke that feeling at all. In fact, he felt disgusted talking about him like this, talking about his death. Disgusted that he died in the first place. Lying about how much he didn’t want him to live. It made the hollow feeling in his gut grow ever larger.

“You left me alone like this. What kind of father does that?” he continued with his mock loathing. “A pathetic, selfish one. You’re the worst. I hate you.”

Tears welled up in his eyes, but Kakashi couldn't stop. Another part of him really does hate his dad. And another loathed himself even more.

--<-<-<@

Later that morning, they went out for a daily training session, stopping by Kakashi’s house first. Gai held the letter tenderly, glancing at the note in his small hands every now and then, making sure he hadn’t forgotten it. Beside him walked his father, one hand holding the rest of the strawberry-cream sandwiches from that morning, the other holding his son’s hand.

Gai had asked to visit Kakashi and give him a few ‘ultimate snacks’ to start off his rival’s day. In reality, Dai had known that he wanted to give the letter he had worked tirelessly on to him. But he couldn’t complain. He, of course, wanted Gai to have someone to spar with other than himself. Someone who could see him as a friend or a rival. But he had also grown a bit fond of Kakashi. After the few months he’d known the father and son, Dai had come to like Kakashi as if he were already Gai’s rival. Family, even, despite knowing that Kakashi did not at all feel similarly. Sakumo just had that effect on him.

“We’re here!” Gai shouted, letting go of his father’s hand and skipping gleefully to the door of the Hatake’s house. He raises his hand to knock, but his happiness falters. “ Something’s wrong,” he thought to himself, his fist hovering over the door. “ Is this connected to how weird I felt this morning? ”

Dai wasted no time in noticing the eeriness of it all as well. He, too, felt something was off. Focusing his senses, he could smell something cold, nauseating, familiar to a seasoned shinobi. “ No, it can’t… but who…? ” Even his thoughts stammered, evidence pointing to something he would’ve never thought to have happened.

Click.

Was the sound Dai heard when he fit the pieces together. “ Did it get to him? He couldn’t have given in to the criticism, could he? ” His breath quickens slightly, the change going unnoticed to Gai, who was still standing stiffly at the door. Suddenly, the strawberry-cream sandwiches in his arms from that morning seemed irrelevant as his mind calculated possible outcomes, all of which pointing back to his gut instinct. It was the only explanation. Dai was not stupid, nor was he incompetent as a shinobi. He had seen this happen, and deep down, he naively hoped his assumptions were invalid. That Sakumo had not yet killed himself. That he had some say in the matter.

--<-<-<@

Tap tap tap.

Kakashi continued to lay on the floor with his father under his touch. He had spat out every insult he could think of, every critique he had made of his father from before and now. All to make his lie a reality.

Tap tap tap.

“I heard you the first time,” he rasped, his voice dry. He had chosen to ignore the knocking. “ Maybe they’d leave if I don’t respond for long enough, ” he thought to himself. He didn’t want any visitors in the slightest.

Knock knock.

He grew irritated. “Shut up, go away.” he muttered again, too soft to be heard by anyone; his voice carried away with the breeze.

“Mr. Sakumo? Kakashi? It’s us! Uh… could you answer?” The muffled voice from outside didn’t quite register to Kakashi’s ears. He clutched his father’s clothing tighter. Couldn’t they just go? Can’t they give up and leave damn it? His eyes welled up with tears again, this time from overstimulation more than anything else. He just wants to be alone. Forever. Since that’s clearly what his father had wanted, given the situation he was in. Like a good son, Kakashi would abide by his father’s wishes and let himself be alone. For until he came back. Or until he could rot away too.

--<-<-<@

“I don’t think there’s anyone home…” Gai said, turning away from the door and to his father, who raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

He paused, looking down for a moment. “No…” he said, looking back up, “I don’t. I want to see Kakashi.” Gai’s grip on the letter at his side grew tighter. He knew Kakashi wasn’t okay. Something was wrong, and he’d make it his mission to find out what that was.

Dai sighed, knowing his son’s wishes as if they were his own. Perhaps because they were. He worried for the boy. Worried how much his father’s death affects him this very second.

“Gai,” he said finally, “do you know how the life of a shinobi is?”

Despite being caught off guard by the sudden question, he nods. “Yes! You told me that, to be a shinobi, one will experience… the deaths of friends and foes. And of survivor's guilt: whether it was easier being the one who died or the one who lived on.”

Dai nodded, “Right on point.” … “I’ve decided to kickstart today’s training. Your first drill: putting my words into comprehension and practice. Gai, only, and I mean only, if you are ready to be a shinobi, will you then look through Kakashi’s windows, understood? You’re to reflect upon your choice first. After making your decision, you’ll reflect on it again, planning out your next move.”

Gai stiffened, standing straighter at the finality in his father’s instructions, saluting briefly. “Of course! I understand that this is not to be taken lightly! I’ll tread with caution!"

Dai huffed. “Good response. I leave the rest to you. I’ll be reporting my findings to lord Hokage.” Gai nodded, retaining his form as his father left, the box of snacks left behind on the ground.

--<-<-<@

What now?

He knows what his father said, and he fully intends to follow his instructions. He trusted him after all. But then, why had he been so vague? Gai shakes his head. He knows exactly why. But his resolve stays the same. He’s ready to be a shinobi. And he’ll go through hell if he has to for Kakashi’s sake.

He takes a shaky step towards the fence, readying himself to jump it. Sure, it’s trespassing, but Kakashi was a friend. And friends wouldn’t mind it if they had good intentions. He leaps over, landing in Kakashi’s backyard with a soft thud.

Gai’s resolve hardens slightly. He was already on his property after all. No going back-

The scent of iron and rot reaches his nose. Gai almost gags. It’s nauseating to the poor boy.

What…?

Gai’s young body moves on its own, walking him to the window. To the stench.

He looks through the window to Sakumo’s room, the one he and Kakashi had spied on to make sure his father didn’t know Gai had come uninvited.

What?

There, he saw Kakashi’s father, clutching a kunai impaling his stomach. And Kakashi, looking broken from what he could see, as he lay behind him, clutching his dad’s shirt.

No…

Gai’s imagination jumped immediately to the worst conclusion–the worst possible ending. “ He couldn’t be! He wasn’t! “ Gai’s thoughts exclaimed in a shrill voice.

But he was.

Gai dropped to his knees, clutching his chest, breathing coming sharp. That wasn’t him. It wasn’t the gentle man whom Kakashi called father. It wasn’t them on the floor, he refuses to believe it! The pool of whatever surrounded the larger thing was clearly a newly installed carpet. Kakashi was just bored, lying on the floor!

But they weren’t.

He shuts his eyes tight in hopes of keeping his thoughts at bay, but the thought that his rival could go through such a cruel thing was too much to bear. His fingers trembled, his grip on the letter in his clutch grew ever tighter. 

He had to do something.

Gai raced back to the front door, grabbing an item he deemed would aid Kakashi with him as he ran back. “Being his rival would have to wait.”

--<-<-<@

Tap tap tap.

Kakashi’s head shot up. Who could be knocking? He adjusted his vision, trying to find the culprit of the noise, yet there was no one there.

He didn’t want to think. To learn. To discover more than what he had already seen. The new information felt irritating and overwhelming to the boy. A smell other than gore reached his nose. It was faint, but still there.

He sat up slowly, taking in the object sitting at his window.

Who…?

He got up, stepping on and over his father’s blood as he approached the window, finding a tray of,

“Sandwiches?”

Cream-filled strawberry sandwiches, to be specific.

Now he was really confused. Opening the window and taking the food, he stared, hoping to find whoever brought the meal.  But there was nothing.

He brought them near his father and placed it on the floor, sitting down beside them.

There, he ate with his parent watching over. The stench of the room made it difficult to enjoy the pastry. Kakashi did it anyway, the feeling that he would be safe looming over him.

--<-<-<@

Bonus:

“I miss you, Dad…” Kakashi said, looking at the empty seat beside him. He hadn’t woken up. The ceremony arrived, and Kakashi had nobody to celebrate with. Except, of course,

“Would you two just give up already?! Leave! I don’t want you here, and I’m sure you have better things to do!” He shouted at the father and son in green sitting behind him. 

Well, they weren’t in green today. Rather, a peculiar assortment of clothes that even Kakashi saw did not go together.

“How could you?” The older one exclaimed in a shrill voice, clearly not his own, “I’m here with my son for the ceremony! I’ll have you know that he graduated with fair grades!”

Kakashi scowled and turned away. “Morons…” he grumbled under his breath.

“Pa, I think he knows it’s us,” the boy whispered to his father. They had been tailing Kakashi for a few days now in disguise. It didn’t seem like he recognized them, but the boy had his doubts.

“Nonsense!” the father whispered back, “our disguises are perfect, son. There’s no way-!”

“Shut up, I can’t hear the speech, dammit!” Kakashi exclaimed, his irritation clear as day, causing the child next to him to flinch.

His pessimism was partly due to the two being here, partly to their actions throughout the week. He had pretended not to notice them sneaking him meals after the upper ranks escorted his dad’s body. And when they had ordered him food anonymously whenever he went to a restaurant. And when they followed him to mourn Sakumo’s death.

It’s like they were always there. It made Kakashi rather annoyed and, as a result, bratty.

“I’m fine, so just leave me alone. You’re wasting your time. I don’t see you belonging here with us graduates anyway, Gai. You’re not welcome.”

Ouch.