Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

 A punch was enough to break the mirror in front of him, the blood slowly leaked out of his broken skin covered in glass shards. He stared at the now split reflection of himself, his pink horn was carved and a ring was placed there, he tried taking it off but felt his horn ache like it was going to rip off, they needed trimming, the lower ones were starting to get in his eye but he didn’t care.

 A tradition, when one’s horns grow taller and need trimming, their family or spouses do it for them, like a haircut but more intimate. Something like skin to skin contact if you may call it. Every horn is similar yet so different and it could hurt someone to trim it even a millimeter close to the core.

 He couldn’t ask his lab partner, no, not after the fight they had. He was too prideful for that. He brushed it off, saying he will find someone to do it for him.

 It was like asking a person to sleep with them. Such actions couldn’t be worded out loud, it’s shameful to even ask a friend to do it. Who was he going to find? Who would even be there for him? Most wanted Blackrock scientist, asking someone on the streets to trim his horns? The thought made him laugh out of annoyance. The glorious scientist had no one to trim his horns!

 He clenched his teeth  and let the blood drip, let it stain the floor, let it be. His wheezy breathing filled the room, his right arm was numb. This illness was messing with his head and his physical abilities. His cough felt like it was going to rip his insides out of his chest, his ribcage felt too small, he tasted the blood that spattered out of his mouth and was now under the running sink, going down the drain. His eyes were red from over-working himself and the headaches from the arguments he had with his lab partner.

 He slowly cleaned himself up, his roommate was going to be upset at the broken mirror, he didn’t care. He was always upset anyways, wasn’t he? Whenever Subspace tried to do anything, he would be there to remind him of what he should do or how it should’ve been done. He knew how to do everything perfect, he didn’t care about what Medkit said. He grew up with these rules, of course he knew.

 He walked over to his bedroom and sat down on his bed, taking his head into his palms and grabbing his hair, his elbows on his knees. He hadn’t realized how long he stayed like that, thinking of everything and nothing at the same time when the door creaked open, someone was pushing it open with their foot. Subspace’s eyes turned towards the door and he let go of his hair.

 The green silhouette stood still at the doorstep, then slowly walked over to the bed, holding something in his hand. He sat down quietly and let the other’s gaze hover over him. It stayed on his ring for a little longer than usual, the ring Medkit gave him himself.

 He reached out to the other one’s horns and gently began to file his horns, a vibrant pink that he loved but still hurt his eyes. He moved his hands slowly but efficiently. Subspace slowly leaned into his hands and let him trim his horns. The doctor’s hand cupped his cheek to angle his head, he let him. He closed his eyes and trusted the other, no matter what kind of fights they got into, in the end it was always one of them needing the other and crawling back.

 It took half an hour or so to finally finish off the filing properly. The doctor reached out for a bottle of horn polish and applied them with a cotton piece.

 They didn’t exchange a word at all. They knew what had to be done, so they did. Subspace nodded at the other, then watched him stand up but he ended up holding the end of his sleeve. It was like a reflex. He hadn’t meant to yet there they were, now staring at each other.

 Medkit wanted to leave, he had a few files that needed to be taken care of. He was only there because he saw the bathroom’s situation and knew Subspace needed a horn-cut. 

 “...Stay.”

 Subspace had taken his pride under his feet to reach Medkit, so they kept staring. Subspace has never been this intimate, he has never told Medkit to stay and now he was. Maybe he was desperate for company or maybe he just wanted Medkit near him, or maybe he wanted to argue with him once more.

 The first move was from Medkit, he had pulled his hand away. Subspace’s hand lingered on thin air, reaching out for the one in front of him, standing tall with his decision. His hand slowly fell back to his lap after Medkit’s eyes escaped from eye contact.

 “I have work to do. Maybe some other time I will stay.”

 And as quick as he said that, he left. He left the other sitting down on his bed, fists clenched, his knuckles hurting. His chest ached, maybe from the illness, maybe from the way Medkit left. He never asked him to stay, he always stayed whenever he wanted and left whenever he pleased, just like how Subspace did. But the way he refused made Subspace snap back to reality. They weren’t dating, nor were they official. So he stayed in bed a little more, and a little more until his legs hurt from sitting down, so he stood up. He decided to walk to the kitchen but Medkit’s room’s door wasn’t closed fully so he froze, he made his way to the door and peeked inside. Medkit’s back was facing the door, he was writing things down on empty papers, maybe re-writing some old paperwork. He stood there a minute longer, watching the sunset dye his room orange. His horns looked prettier and his hair was messy, so Subspace watched him. He watched him work. After maybe 3 minutes of standing there he looked away and went to the kitchen finally. Why was he here again? He drank a cup of water, trying to remember the reason he walked into this room.

 He couldn’t. He grabbed a snack from one of the cabinets, Pizza Crackers, he looked at the back of it to read the ingredients. He always did. He memorized it, wanting to see how much of it he could remember the next time. He didn’t remember any. His eyes lingered a while too long over the packet, then he opened it and placed one over his mouth. It was a little more tasteless than he remembered. He decided not to put too much thought into it. After all he couldn’t remember even more important stuff these days, he even forgot his own name sometimes, sometimes he forgot to eat or drink…but he never forgot his roommate’s name. He never did. His looks, his voice, his attitude, it never left his head even if he tried forgetting, even if he tried his hardest, he was there, he was remaining in his mind. He was immortal as long as Subspace was alive, so he let him be. He let him be there because he knew once he had forgotten Medkit, the illness had consumed him.

 He walked back to his room and lied down, tapping his foot to the wall while eating the crackers one by one. His mind was like a research file, he was thinking on how to improve those crystals they found with Medkit, if only they didn’t fight over what to do with them then maybe he wouldn’t have put a gap between them, he would’ve been here, in his arms, lying down, listening to his heartbeat. He wanted to apologize but the knot in his throat whenever he tried couldn't let him, his ego, his pride he couldn’t swallow, not even for Medkit. Not even for himself.

 His bed was comfortable, a simple black and white striped pillow, white sheets and a black and white blanket. He let himself sink into the mattress, his eyes searched for something around the room but even he himself didn’t know what they were searching. They stopped at a photo of two scientists together, framed and hung on the wall. He stared at his own face, and then Medkit’s. His smile didn’t seem genuine yet even that was enough to make Subspace relax even more into the bed. The pillow was soft and his eyelids heavier than before. Some crackers were scattered down on the floor, so he decided to pick them up the very next morning when he woke up.

 The only thing he remembered before falling asleep was something warm running down from his nose and it wasn’t because he was crying or had a cold. His lungs were covered in red paint.

Chapter Text

 He wrapped his arms around the pink horned scientist, he let his body weight his, his thoughts to burden his own. He caressed his hair, let it untangle between his fingers.

 The room was quiet, the only sound was their heartbeats and Subspace’s wheezy breathing, troubled, like that fictional hanahaki disease he was so hyperfixated on a few months ago, he had lost interest in it in a week, just like everything. He couldn’t stay interested in anything for more than a few weeks for the life of him that he didn’t even  care about anymore. Medkit closed his eyes and let himself sink into the bed, he felt Subspace’s chest pressuring his own whenever he inhaled, he heard the stertorous breathing coming out of his lungs.

 The doctor wrapped his arms around Subspace’s bare body, their chest pressed against each other naked. He gently ran his fingers around the taller one’s body, skin to skin, heart to heart contact was something so tender and personal yet they didn’t mind lying down like this. They would do it every now and then, a moment where they didn’t fight for once, where they didn’t care about the world they were in, remembering they were demons and not gods, yet… Subspace reminded about this every time he coughed, every time he puked blood instead of stomach acid, whenever the lab was quiet and his breathing echoed in the room, whenever he took off his shirt and his chest was moving up and down shakily. Medkit hated him for that, he hated him for reminding him he couldn’t heal everything, something he was created for.

 “Let me die, Medkit.”

 Medkit looked down to see Subspace with half lidded eyes, looking up at him, his breathing was heavier and he looked tired, his pupils were dilated.

 “...”

 “I know that look, what you are thinking about. You can’t heal everything.”

 The younger one, by 3 months at least, stared at him. He hated it when he was reminded that yet there he was, reminding him about his insecurity. He also hated being a doctor but if that’s what he was created for, he had to fulfil his duty of healing yet he couldn’t, he couldn’t heal the person most close to him.

 Subspace rubbed their horns together and stared into Medkit’s eyes. The stare that always caused him to tense up. He hated him so much. Hated him so much that he couldn’t even stare into his eyes.

 Subspace leaned into him and gently brushed his lips against the doctor’s. A gesture he knew very well. He wanted Medkit to lean in for a kiss, he wanted to show Medkit that he also wanted him back, that he was needed just as him. A way to feed his ego. Medkit submitted to the demon on top of his body, who was drawing circles on his waist with his fingertip. He leaned down and let their lips press into one another. He felt Subspace’s hand grabbing and pulling at his hair from behind, a small hum came out of his throat, he leaned his head back. The pink horned one left small kisses on his neck, the green horned wrapped his arms all around him, squeezing him a bit.

 “Lab partners”  they called themselves, nothing more, nothing less. Subspace always aimed for perfection with his creations, he used alive beings and caused harm, sometimes even to himself, when things didn’t go his way he would blow up, and Medkit would always be there to calm him down and clean up the place with him. No he didn’t like it when Subspace harmed others nor did he like his ideas of destruction. He created, to destroy. That’s all he did. So Medkit fixed everything he left broken. He had seen everything Subspace did, and he did nothing to stop him. Whenever he tried he was told to go cry in the corner and write a complaint then throw it in the trashcan. Oh how he hated Subspace…

 His arms wrapped tighter around the taller, his eyes closed now, staying quiet and letting their hearts beat together. Subspace’s were irregular, made Medkit’s head hurt.

 He felt something pressing between his lips, a piece of paperish filter. He let the cigarette enter in between his lips and opened his eyes to look over at Subspace with a raised eyebrow.

 “We both know you aren’t quitting shit…”

 Subspace murmured while sliding out the lighter from the doctor’s coat’s pocket and lighting the cigarette up. Medkit didn’t fight back, he stayed quiet and gently sucked on the cigarette butt, taking the first inhale was a small struggle but the next ones were like a breeze. He let the smoke flow out of his mouth and stared at Subspace before his eyes went to his lips.

 “You’re not allowed to smoke.”

 “That’s why you’re the only one smoking…”

 “You’re still a passive smoker.”

 “Oh come on Meddy, since when did we follow rules?”

 “Ever since you got worse.”

 “Hm…”

 Subspace leaned more into his face, making his cheeks a light color of pink. He took as much smoke as he could into his lungs then took the cigarette away from his lips, he saw Subspace’s lips parting. He exhaled the smoke into the sick one’s mouth and watched it linger inside for a while before pressing their lips together in a passionate and desperate kiss, the smoke still coloring the air, escaping from between their lips at any gap it could find.

 “Fuck you…”

 Subspace just smirked as a response and let the doctor’s arms squeeze him even more. He watched as he smoked away, Medkit exhaling onto his face every now and then…

 When the cigarette had to be put out, the doctor pressed it down on Subspace’s back to put it out, causing the pink one to arch his back and reward the other with a whine, a wail. Medkit threw the cigarette butt to the other side of the room and let Subspace entangle their bodies even more.

 “I hate you…”

 “I hate you more…”

 And once more their lips pressed together, parting to let the others’ tongues enter each other's mouth, their bare chest pressing into one another, their rib cages pressuring one another…

 But it didn’t last long before Subspace started coughing, him pulling away and Medkit sitting up, holding him in his own arms, everything happened so fast that Medkit froze for a moment. The blood splattered onto him from the pink one’s mouth covered the room in a metallic smell, the doctor grabbed the bottled water and kept holding the taller one closely.

 “You’re okay. Try to calm down. I knew I shouldn’t have smoked next to you…”

 The complaint catched the attention of Subspace which caused him to glare at Medkit for a second before wiping the blood off his lips and drinking the water quickly.

 “I’m fine.”

 “Clearly you are not, Subspace!”

 “I said I am fine, can you not hear?”

 “I can actually, because it feels like I’m the only one who heard you coughing like your lungs were attacking your damned body!”

 Subspace ignored him which caused him to get even more frustrated. He rubbed his eyes and lied back down, watching the other play with the water bottle cap. And after a few minutes he lay back down on his chest. Medkit once again wrapped his arms around the other. Subspace entangled their legs once again, his horns right next to Medkit’s head. The doctor left small kisses on them and felt the ill one’s finger drawing circles around his hip once again.

 …He wasn’t going to let him die, not like this.

Chapter Text

 The dorm was quiet, Subspace leaned into the sink and tried not to collapse on the floor with their trembling legs. The hot-pink colored vomit washed down from the drain, water running down unneedfully. The doctor held his hair up, watched them throw up anything left in their system. It wasn’t normal for demons to throw up yet there they were, in the bathroom after Subspace stormed off the lab. 

 “Are you feeling better..?”

 “Better my ass, Medkit! You said this would make me better not-”
The taller figure gagged and threw up once more. This had started when Medkit was able to extract the substance of the crystals and believed that this could heal Subspace’s illness, his breathing was getting better yet for some reason, he wasn’t.

 He sighed and watched Subspace, he was on the treatment for only a few days yet he was somehow getting worse even faster, Medkit had hope in these crystals they found but was now starting to lose it. The ill one’s bones were protruding, his hair now looking thinner and lackluster somehow, his hands and feet were colder than they should be. His anemic look to their skin, sunken eyes made him look older. Medkit gently patted his back and held him close while the pink horned trembled in his arms, trying to take deep breaths.

 He wouldn’t let anyone see him like this, no, not when he was weak, sick and suffering but Medkit stayed, and he didn’t say anything. He didn’t know why, but he let him hold his hair up and pat his back when his breakfast left his stomach. So Medkit remained by his side, let them throw curses around or cry from how his bones were hurting. Even if Subspace wanted to be seen as mighty and strong, he had always been softer near Medkit for no reason at all, or that’s what he told himself to sleep comfortably at night.

 The prototype of this medicine wasn’t tested properly yet but it did heal a few lab rats with akin illnesses so Medkit thought maybe, maybe this could help Subspace recover from this curse of an illness. He never approved of Subspace’s ways of using the crystals nor did he like acting careless but this time he wanted to trust Subspace’s ways, reckless and untested trials without thinking about the long-term consequences. He had to give it a try.

.  .  .

 “SO THAT'S WHAT YOU’VE BEEN INJECTING INTO ME ALL THIS TIME?! YOU TRAITOR, YOU HOUND!”

 The demon was shouting in anger at the doctor in front of him, his face bright with fury, his fists clenched, staring at the other in madness.

 “I had to heal you!"

 “I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME TO DIE NOT MAKE ME ROT FROM INSIDE OUT?!”

 The doctor backed up, his hands trembling a little, he seemed upset and bitter too but the guilt in his eyes he couldn’t hide. He reached for the capsules on the table, bright pink ones, and with Subspace charging at him for a punch Medkit threw the substance onto his face, causing a mild burn and a small burst of hot pink matter. It painted the room into a pink smoke, the smell was disgusting, now mixing with flesh. The air got thicker with every passing second, Medkit tried catching his breath and watched as Subspace stopped moving.

 The ill one stood still for a moment, not processing the pain yet. He backed up and covered his face, screaming in pain, trembling within agony. The skin getting irritated sizzling quickly, the piece of his skin melting into a goo and dripping down on the marble floor, staining it with red and magenta blood. With a wet splashing sound a rosy eye fell onto the ground and rolled away with strings of also melting nerves attached to it, it was melting like the body it was separated from. The melting spread onto his hands, burning him even more, causing even more pain.

 “Subspace!-”

 Medkit stared in horror and took a step forward to see the now crying scientist better but was countered with an unexpected attack. Subspace launched forward and grabbed him by the neck, causing both of them to fall on the ground. Medkit tried pushing the frail body on top of him but was cut off short by the pain in his left eye. A painful gasp and shriek escaped his throat, he covered his left eye and watched Subspace put it inside his own eye socket with a crazed look.
“You owe me this now. AND THIS.”

 He tried punching Medkit but the doctor managed to finally roll away from Subspace, causing the ill one to fall and give him time to escape. He ran as fast as he could, until his legs gave out, until he realized he didn’t know where he was going. He quickened around a corner, bouncing off one wall, arms flailing to keep his balance. His chest heaved as he drew in huge gasps of air while forcing himself to ignore the agony in his legs. The adrenaline was wearing off yet he knew he couldn’t stop. The sharpness in his left eye was growing further, he couldn’t look back, not at the man he left to rot. He was a failure, a good for nothing, he was made to heal yet he was a disgrace to his own gift. He couldn't stop, he couldn't even look behind him, he kept going until the pain in his skull took the better of him and caused him to pass out from it in a corner.

 Subspace stared behind him, at the trail of blood he left behind him as the ache within his left eye lingered deeper, causing him to grunt in pain once more and tear up, lying on the ground and applying pressure on it. He wasn’t going to die, not like this, no. Not because of some pesky traitor. Now that his body’s adrenaline release had stopped he finally felt the pain crawl onto him like a leech clinging onto him and drawing more and more blood from him. He moved his hand onto his left eye, now nesting an eye that didn’t belong to him, his eyelids were twitching and it felt like he had sand or dirt in his eye, the pain was beyond comprehension, it was stinging and burning, an inflammatory headache of searing pain, he couldn’t even bear the thought so he took the unfamiliar eye out and threw it across the room, letting it roll to the corner, leaving blood behind it just like the one it’s host left. He cried, screamed into the empty lab, throwing curses and loud sobs but this time there was no one to take him into his arms and calm him down like he was used to. There was no one to offer him water and wipe his tears away and knowing this hurt even more, the only person who he thought belonged to him, would never turn his back on him had left him all alone in this stupid cold lab.

 The lab rats on the desk lied motionless within their cage even if the doors were open.

Chapter Text

 He didn’t know how he got there, nor did he know how to get up from the ground. His body disobeyed him as his mostly lidded eye lingered at the wall in front. Lost Temple’s dry and burning air made him feel like his insides were on fire. The floor and walls were of gritstone and sandstone. The metallic smell of blood and poison filled his lungs, he couldn’t taste the blood in his mouth but he could feel it with the incorrupt nerves left in his lower jaw. He knew he shouldn't've come here alone. He should’ve brought Biograft or maybe Hyperlaser with him, but no, he was insistent on the job being too easy and there wasn’t a need for zeroes like them. Why would he? He was the big Subspace T. Mine. Best scientist in the whole world. He could defend himself couldn’t he?

 A sound of footsteps getting closer flooded his mind with shame, how could he let someone see him like this? He hated the thought of being seen at his worst. The footsteps were light, he could make out the short heels of the sound, a fancy pair. It got closer and closer until the person stopped right in front of him, a black uniform pair and diamond pattern teal pants. He wanted to look up at who was standing in front of him, the face of his sworn enemy once more but he couldn’t even move a muscle. He could feel poisoned blood flowing out of his now exposed eye socket, that’s all he could feel in his whole body at that moment.

 The sound of a gun’s safety catch being released rang in his ears, he felt his heart beat a little faster. His eye slowly closed, he could only imagine the smirk on that damned doctor’s face. He wanted to be the one who did the killing, not that stupid deer. The only thing he remembered before he passed out was the doctor’s voice, mumbling about something he couldn’t even understand.

 Medkit stared down at the now unconscious scientist before him. He kneeled down to check on his pulse after putting his gun away. Subspace was a burden to him, conscious or not and this annoyed Medkit. He stared at the body right in front of him as his hands lingered on him a little bit longer than it should’ve. The irregular heartbeat was normal for Subspace, he knew after lying down with him in bed for hours when they were still working together.

 “I hate you…”

 He wanted to kill him more than anything, he wanted Subspace to die, to suffer like he himself did. But at that moment he felt something he never felt for Subspace before; compassion. He gently took the demon into his arms and held him close for a second before standing up and carrying him out of the alley.

 Subspace woke up on a couch with a blanket over him and a figure sleeping leaned into the armrest. He tried sitting up but the stitches all over him hurt, he started to feel the rot slowly torment his nerves. He needed his painkillers. His eyes turned to the doctor who was still asleep. He didn’t know why he wasn’t shot yet nor did he know why he took him in but the deer was now unprotected and he had the shotgun to aim. The pink horned one slowly approached the other and leaned down to check if he was faking to be asleep. 

…He was actually unconscious.

 Subspace stared at his sworn enemy for a bit, the man he hated for years, now that he was in front of him he could easily pull the trigger. He slowly leaned down and slowly raised his hand to the doctor’s face, it lingered there for a second.

 Medkit opened his eye with a hand on his shoulder and a breath on his cheek.

 “Meddy, wake up.”

 The Medic pulled away and let his eye remain on the scientist. The rotting one tried moving once more but Medkit gently pushed him down to lay down.

 “Rest. You’ll ruin your stitches.”

 “...”

 So he did, for the rest of the day he stayed on the couch and let Medkit take care of them for once. It was embarrassing, he didn’t need anyone to feel pity for him nor did they want to be taken care of. He had experiments to do, bodies to bury, assets to kill! However, he didn’t feel like fighting Medkit so he drank the soup Medkit gave him slowly, even if he didn’t need food. It looked fancy, though it didn’t have any salt at all. “I don’t use salt.” the doctor said, he also said it was bad for the scientist. He wanted juice, but Medkit refused once more. He wanted to at least walk around but that wasn’t allowed either. So he kept lying down until Medkit entered the room and helped him sit up.

 “Come on…”

 He gently pushed from his back and helped the sick one to lean to the armrest. He sat in front of him and pulled out a filer from the pocket of his pajamas. He cupped Subspace’s hand with one hand and started trimming his horns, they had grown so long that it could gouge out the only eye he had left. He studied Medkit’s face as he filed his horns. It took a while to get them to the right length, so Subspace waited. Waited like how he waited for an apology from Medkit, waited like how Medkit waited for the day Subspace rotted away. He watched as Medkit changed his bandages. He wanted to bite at the hand that fed him.

 “...What happened?”

 “I don’t remember.”

 “....okay.”

 That was the only interaction they had for the rest of the day. The doctor left the room after closing the lights as he was heading to his office to work. The taller one let his eye get adjusted to the darkness. Medkit had given him some painkillers but that didn’t make the rotting any better. He was sweating cold and itching the rotten parts of his body. He tossed and turned around the sofa, his stitches were uncomfortable and he was burning on the inside. The whole night was long and uneasy for him. He called for Medkit but no one came into the room. Maybe he couldn’t call out that loud because his vocal cords were damaged. Didn’t matter. He needed some painkillers and when the doctor walked into the room he was clinging to his arm and begging for at least one pill. Anything to ease the pain, even cutting his skin off.

 The medic watched his implores, wiped the drool off his lips and kneeled down to his level. He watched Subspace’s breathing become troubled and made him lie back down as he pulled out a syringe from his coat’s pocket. The taller one’s pupils shrunk, he tried to flee but the shorter one pinned him down and stabbed the needle into his neck, the other one cried out and tried punching and pushing Medkit away until his muscles slowly relaxed and his head tilted to the side, he lay motionless on the sofa.

 “...You’re pathetic, Subspace. You were never the victim yet you try to act like I’m the one who caused deaths and tortured other souls.”

 The sick one’s eye followed the doctor, he didn’t feel anything at all. A bit of drool dripped down from his mouth onto the pillow as the deer watched him. He placed the now empty syringe back in his pocket. He checked the stitches on him one last time before leaving to go to work, leaving Subspace alone in the quiet room with the only light source being the sunlight entering from the window. 

Chapter Text

 The night felt heavy, the quiet night made him think as he stared at the stars oıutside the window from the couch he was bound to… What if.. just What if he went to Blackrock while Medkit was asleep? What would happen? The pain was crawling back onto his body, he wasn’t drooling to the side anymore and he could feel his hands. His eyes looked for the deer, any sign that he wasn’t home. Maybe the absence of lights turned on, or the smell of his cheap cologne being gone. Anything.

 He slowly sat up, as much as he could feel his body, dragging it towards the door slowly. He tried ignoring the sting around himself. It would be gone once he could find his own medicines. His eye searched around the house, where Medkit was living now. The doctor wasn't upper class nor did he like cheap things so the apartment being covered in minimalistic furniture wasn't unexpected at all for the scorpion. He held onto the wall as he walked, his legs started trembling under his weight and pain. Oh how he had forgotten the burden of living without his special painkillers…

 The door opened as the doctor took off his coat and hung it on the hanger next to the entrance. He felt as if the world was begging him to dig six feet under and lay there. Slow steps, he slowly walked into the living room. A stare at the couch and he relaxed, a small exhale escaped from his mouth. His hand reached for the drawer on the TV stand, a syringe stood inside. He grabbed it and took out the painkillers also and turned back to the man lying down on the couch, sleeping uncomfortably. Slow steps and he injected the medicine into the scorpion’s veins. The poisoned blood flew out once he pulled it out, he patched it up with a bandaid and looked up at the now staring patient.

 “...you know you can do this yourself. I’m not obligated to look after you.”

 Subspace’s muscles had relaxed but still he wanted to talk. He felt everything in his body slowly detach from reality.

You’re not obligated but you’re still doing it. You’re taking care of the man you hate so much…

And that’s when he felt something other than numbness under the drugs the doctor gave him. The front sight of his gun was staring into Subspace’s eye. He stared at the bullet waiting to be shot inside and slowly moved his iris up to the other’s face. He was bluffing surely, so he would behave, right? A warning to not steal anything or trash the house while he was gone.

 “Goodbye Subspace, I hope no one has to end up like you.”

 I never got to tell you I yearn for you like the stars yearning for the Sun-

 The small amount of gunpowder released from the shot felt intoxicating, Medkit’s hand started shaking as he stared at the now motionless body on the couch. For a second, he was sure he was dreaming again. He was sure he would wake up and get ready for work trying to forget another vision of him killing Subspace but this felt real. Too real to be a lucid dream. He almost wished for Subspace to reach out and strangle him for doing that. He lowered the gun and placed it on the table. The blood splattered around the room already started drying. He gently went down on his knees and closed the eye of the now dead man.

 After a long night he had cleaned the blood, buried the body, had some water and now he was staring out from the window. He didn’t tell anyone, who would he tell? Hyperlaser? Banhammer? One of the Biografts? Go to Black Rock and explain how their best scientist died in the hand of a traitor?

 He squeezed the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes tight. He should’ve told Scythe he had Subspace, or at least inform her. He didn’t… And slowly he realized he didn’t want the scientist dead, he just wanted him to be someone he was before everything. And he caused it all. He caused him to turn out this way. He really was  a traitor and there was no running away from reality. 

 He pressed the cigarette butt down onto the tray and made his way to the kitchen. The coffee tin stood on the counter just as he left it. He walked over to it slowly and opened it up, grabbing a coffeepot. He only drank coffee this way when he needed something strong to keep him up at night, that way he could bury himself under paperwork and not think of anything else.

 The nausea kicked in as he was waiting for the water to boil. He raced to the bathroom and waited to vomit but nothing came out. The smell of gunpowder, blood and poison mixed was still under his nose and he couldn’t get rid of it. No matter what he did it was still there and that was enough to turn his stomach upside down. It was worse when he remembered Subspace’s eye staring at him when he died. He laid down on the floor, curled himself into a ball, hoping it all would go away. He stayed there until the nausea was gone at least half way.

 His hands trembled as he poured the coffee into a mug. He barely dragged himself into the workroom, The sunrise’s shine gently made its way into the office, he sat down at the chair and skimmed through the papers. He took a sip from the coffee, then another… and another. Until there was nothing left but the grounds of the liquid.

 He tried writing down but the tip of his fountain pen was clogged. The ink inside had probably dried up. He tried reaching for the drawer but he couldn’t feel his hand, he stopped and looked over at the fountain pen rolling on the floor to the other side of the room. He couldn’t feel his hands and it was spreading through his arms. He was dizzy, he tried standing up but his legs didn’t work. His looking around in panic was cut down by the cough he had, a pink substance splattered all over his paperwork. His head slammed down onto the desk and eyes teared up from the burn of his insides. He stared at the wall in front of him.

 He knew this would happen from the start. He knew there was something in the coffee tin, he knew the coffee smelled different than he remembered, he knew the taste was too sour. He drank it anyway. And now his mind was screaming at him to do something, to reverse it all, to fight back.

 …He closed his eyes slowly and let the pink poison flow out from his mouth, the intoxicating smell filled his lungs like the liquid itself.