Work Text:
Celeste, Sam, and Dean were at a college working a case. Celeste was dressed as a college student while Sam and Dean had their coats and fake badges. They were walking into the school when Dean’s eyes wandered and followed a few college girls walking away. “Sorry I ever made you leave,” he said to Sam, smirking.
Celeste stopped dead in her tracks while Sam laughed. “Seriously?” She said.
“What?” Dean said.
Celeste closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was already in a bad mood but the middle of a college campus was not the place to punch her FBI-badge holding brother. “Nothing. Let’s just find this girl.”
They did find the girl they were looking for, but while they were interviewing her, Dean was getting distracted again. “God they’re everywhere,” he had said.
Celeste was growing angrier by the second. Dean was staring at these college girls’ asses and she knew Sam noticed but he didn’t do anything about it.
By the time the interview was over she refused to talk to either of her brothers. “You okay?” Dean asked when they got back into the car.
“Fine,” she said. She crossed her arms and stared out the window. Sam and Dean shared a look but left her out of it. When they got back to the motel though, Celeste cracked.
As Dean was turning around after taking his coat off, Celeste punched him. “Woah!” Sam said, running over to them.
“The hell was that for?” Dean asked, rubbing his cheek.
“For being a fucking perv you freak,” she said, backhanding him hard on the same cheek.
“What?” Dean said.
“Hey!” Sam yelled at her and brought her arm down from another swing. She ignored him and shook him off.
“You-“ she scoffed. “You really don’t know what you did to make me upset?”
“No! What the fuck, Celeste?!”
“You want to take a guess, college boy?” She asked Sam. He started at her and shrugged.
“Oh wonderful,” she said, throwing her hands up. “Sit down, both of you,” she demanded. She pointed to the bed.
“What-“ Dean started.
“Sit down!” She yelled. Dean’s eyes went wide and he sat on the edge of the bed next to Sam. “You,” she spat at Dean. “You’re fucking disgusting.”
“Celeste what the fuck did I do?”
“Seriously? All day you were staring at these college girls! Making weird comments about their looks, bending over backwards to check out their asses. They’re kids, Dean!”
Dean didn’t say anything, but he looked scared as Celeste yelled at him. “You always do this! You’re always so fucking weird about women! The comments you make about asses and boobs I mean seriously! There’s more to us than our bodies!”
“I didn’t-“
“Don’t interrupt me! Why? Why do you only ever see women as objects built for your pleasure? It’s fucking disgusting. You’re really so insecure about yourself that you have to drown your problems by degrading women?”
“Celeste, I don’t-“
“Shut up!” She screamed. Tears pricked at her eyes and she looked at Sam. “And you!”
Sam looked shocked that she was speaking to him. “You don’t do shit about it! You didn’t even notice! You fucking laughed!”
“Celeste, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, Sam, I know. You’re not like Dean and I get that but you’re still a man and you still just…” she ran her hands through her hair. “Why?” She asked Dean again. “Dean. How old are you?”
He glanced at Sam. “Thirty seven…”
“And how old are those college girls?”
“Well…I don’t know. 20 something?”
“Jesus you’re so fucking stupid,” she said. “Dean. Most people in college are undergraduate students right out of high school. Eighteen to twenty two. And you know what, let me ask you another question. How old am I?”
That seemed to hit Dean hard. His body shifted and he suddenly looked incredibly guilty. “Celeste-“
“How old am I.”
“Eighteen,” he whispered.
“Yeah. How would you feel if a thirty seven year old man was staring at my ass on the street and making comments about how hot I am because I’m so young? What would you do to that man, hm?”
Dean looked at Sam again, who was staring at Celeste. “I’m sorry,” Dean said.
“Answer me!” She yelled.
“Okay. Okay. I’d be pissed. I’d probably beat the shit out of him. You’re my baby sister, that’s not…”
“Those girls are someone else’s baby sister, Dean. Those girls could have been me.” Tears finally fell down her cheeks. “Those girls are me.”
Sam stood up. “Celeste? What do you mean?”
“I…” she choked on her tears and took a deep breath. “It’s just…shit like this has happened to me before.”
“What? Celeste, why didn’t you tell us? Are you okay?” Dean stood up too, and Celeste backed away.
“Yeah, Dean, I’m fine. The first time I noticed it happening I was fifteen. We stopped to get gas, I had to use the bathroom so I went inside and got snacks. This guy was staring at me while I was picking them out. He followed me to the counter and tried paying for it. His eyes just wandered, you know? And the cashier didn’t do shit. Just stared at me. Kind of smiled. They didn’t do anything, I’m fine, but…it’s just weird. It’s gross and it’s uncomfortable. That’s not the only time it’s happened.
“As I got older it’s happened more often. You two…you don’t even notice. Men look at me for a beat too long or they smile at me when we’re walking on the street. They’ll stare at me when I get up and go to the bathroom in diners. And no one ever notices.” She took a deep breath and made eye contact with Dean.
“It’s just…I know you’re not a predator, Dean. I know you’re not attracted to minors, I know you’re not…like that. But…sometimes, it’s hard for me to tell the difference between the guys on the street and you. I’ve seen you look at women the same way men have looked at me. And it’s hard to tell the difference between those college girls and me.
“I shouldn’t even have to tell you this. I wish you would just know. But no one knows.” She turned to Sam. “Even you. You just don’t understand. You don’t see…it’s just…it reminds me of how unimportant I am. Of how unimportant we are. Every day I’m reminded of how women aren’t seen as people. And no one even notices.” She paused and wiped tears out of her eyes.
Dean sat back down on the bed. “Celeste. Baby, I’m so sorry,” he said. “I…I had no idea.”
“That’s exactly the problem!” She said. “You don’t know! Neither of you know! Neither of you know what it’s like to walk around in a skirt worrying that you’re going to be snatched off the street and raped.” She looked at Sam, who was openly crying now. “You don’t know what it’s like to be wary of every man you meet. You don’t know what it’s like to have your entire existence being objectified. All I am to everyone is just…a woman. I’m not a person. People see me and they see a woman they want to fuck. They don’t see me. I’m tired of it, Dean.
“And I’m not saying you’re a bad person, okay? I know you, and I know you would never do…that to someone. But you have to understand that even thinking you respect women, even thinking you understand…” she turned to Sam. “You just don’t. I’m sorry, but you don’t. I love you both so much but…you’re part of the problem, Dean. I just…” she wiped away another tear and ran her hands through her hair.
“I don’t know why I didn’t tell you earlier. I mean you’ve been like this forever, I should’ve said something earlier.”
“It’s not your fault,” Sam said. “It’s not your responsibility to educate us. We shouldn’t have taken things for granted.”
“Yeah. I’m just…I’m tired. I’m so, so tired.” Celeste moved to her own bed and flopped down backwards on it. “I just want to be left alone.”
“Okay,” Sam said, speaking as if he were talking to a hurt puppy. “Okay. Celeste, we’re sorry.”
“I know, just go, please.” Her voice was tired.
“Yeah. ‘Course.” He and Dean exchanged looks and put their coats back on. “Well uh…we’ll be back in a few hours?”
“Yeah, sure,” she said. A massive headache was forming, and all she wanted to do was go to sleep.
Sam and Dean left the room and Celeste changed into pajamas before crawling underneath the covers and beginning to cry.
Sam and Dean came back three hours later, but Celeste wasn’t able to go to sleep. “Celeste?” Dean said a few minutes after they got in. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she mumbled.
“I’m sorry. I really am. Celeste, I had no idea you felt this way. I had no idea that…” he swallowed. “That women felt this way. I never thought about it before and I know that’s stupid and I know I should have but-“
“I know, Dean,” she said, cutting him off. “I know you’re sorry. But…I shouldn’t have to tell you that this shit has happened to me for you to feel guilty. You should feel guilty because it’s wrong. Making comments like the one you made today…Dean, it’s just…we’re more than our bodies.
“I know you’re going to say you know that, and I get it, but Dean…knowing me doesn’t mean I’m any different from them. You’ll say of course I’m more than just my body because you know me and I’m your sister. But every woman is more than just her body.”
Both boys were quiet for a minute. “Do you hate me?” Dean whispered.
“No, Dean,” she said, sitting up. “I don’t hate you. I’m just angry. I’m mad at you for making those comments, I’m mad at Sam for not doing anything about it, I’m mad at myself for not telling you all this sooner and I’m mad at every man who has ever fucking lived. Now please. I just want to go to sleep. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
Dean stood up from where he was crouched at the end of her bed. “Okay. Okay. Goodnight, starlight. I love you.”
Celeste didn’t respond. Sam pressed a kiss to her forehead and brushed her hair away from her face. “You can always talk to us, you know that right?”
She shrugged his hand off of her. “I said I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Just let me go to sleep.”
Sam and Dean looked at each other again before turning off the light in the room. “I love you so much, starlight,” Dean said, after Celeste had fallen asleep and before he got into his own bed. “I’m sorry.”