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Chapter Text

Harry Potter had survived a lot. Dark wizards, curses, near-death experiences… and somehow, surviving his aunt and uncle’s cooking counted too. But nothing—not Voldemort, not the basilisk, not even the time he accidentally blew up Aunt Marge’s garden—had prepared him for the way Hogwarts was suddenly… paying attention.

It started small. The Gryffindor common room door swung shut behind him with a soft thud, though no one was holding it. Harry froze. The corridor was empty. The only movement came from a suit of armor at the end of the hall, which now tilted slightly toward him, like a very stern but silent teacher.

“Uh… okay,” Harry muttered, pointing. “Definitely not imagining things.”

By the time he reached the staircase leading to the third floor, things got stranger. The steps shifted mid-step, nudging him to the side as if someone—or something—was guiding him away from trouble. Then a portrait of a frowning wizard piped up:

“Careful there, Potter. Third-floor corridor is… disagreeable today.”

Harry blinked. “Disagreeable?”

“Indeed. Hazardous, unstable, and completely unreasonable,” the portrait continued, wagging a painted finger. “Don’t make me come down there myself!”

He didn’t wait for the portrait to make good on the threat. Instead, he noticed Theodore Nott leaning against the wall, looking thoroughly unimpressed. Theodore’s signature smirk was in place, one eyebrow raised as he watched the scene unfold.

“Did Hogwarts just… talk?” Harry asked.

Theodore tilted his head, casually brushing a strand of dark hair from his forehead. “Seems like it. Don’t tell me you didn’t notice the staircase moving.”

“I did notice,” Harry muttered, gesturing at the slightly sliding steps. “And the door. And the suit of armor staring at me like I owe it fifty Galleons.”

Theodore suppressed a grin. “I’d pay that debt if I were you. Suits of armor are judgmental creatures.”

Harry groaned. “Judgmental and alive. Great.”

Before Theodore could reply, a soft crash echoed down the hall. A floating book tumbled past Harry, narrowly missing his head, before settling neatly at his feet. A quill hovered above it, scribbling: “Do not walk under falling objects. Not today.”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Okay, that’s new.”

Theodore smirked again, stepping closer. “Welcome to Hogwarts’ newest phase: slightly overprotective and dramatic.”

Harry tried to laugh, but another sound froze him. A faint clatter from above—the chandelier twitched as if it had a mind of its own, swaying in amusement.

“Right,” Harry muttered, rubbing his temples. “This is… not normal. I’m being watched by a building.”

“Not just watched,” Theodore said dryly. “Protected. Maybe judged a little. But mostly protected.”

As if to prove the point, the suit of armor at the end of the hall pivoted, then marched a few steps forward, almost nudging Harry to move faster. A faint whisper came from somewhere behind the walls: “Careful of the courtyard. That vine has ambitions today.”

Harry groaned. “Even the plants have opinions now?”

“Apparently,” Theodore said with a shrug, clearly enjoying the chaos more than he should. “I’d say you’ve officially been chosen as Hogwarts’ favorite project. Congratulations.”

Harry muttered something under his breath, glancing at the floating quill and winking portraits. Hogwarts had officially taken notice. And judging by the suit of armor glaring at him, it was taking its job very seriously.

“Great,” Harry muttered. “I survive Voldemort, giant snakes, and enchanted staircases… and now I have a castle breathing down my neck.”

Theodore smirked. “Try to keep up. Or at least survive without enraging the furniture.”

Harry groaned again, realizing with mild horror that surviving the school itself might be harder than surviving Voldemort.

Chapter Text

Harry woke to a strange creak. Not the normal early-morning stair creak or the groaning of old stone walls, but a deliberate, almost watchful creak. He froze mid-step on the stairs leading down to breakfast. The banister had shifted slightly, angling him toward the right corridor instead of the left, and a distant portrait whispered:

“Do not trust the toast today. It is… treacherous.”

Harry froze. Toast? Treacherous? His stomach growled nervously.

“Treacherous toast?” he muttered aloud.

From the shadows, Theodore Nott emerged, looking far too entertained. “I’d take that warning seriously,” he said, leaning casually against the wall. “Hogwarts has… priorities. Apparently breakfast is a battlefield.”

Harry frowned. “Why is everything alive now?”

Theodore smirked. “Because it likes you, Potter. Or hates you. Or both. Hard to tell with Hogwarts. You’ve been officially… noted.”

Before Harry could ask what “noted” meant, the staircase shifted again. This time it moved with purpose, nudging him down the hall faster than he intended. A nearby suit of armor stepped into his path, blocking him from a group of younger first-years who were walking too close. Harry blinked. The armor literally just protected me.

Theodore chuckled. “See? Useful. Mostly. Sort of.”

Harry groaned. “Useful? I almost tripped three times because the staircase is trying to murder me.”

A squeak from behind them made both boys turn. Hermione Granger was standing there, wide-eyed and clutching a stack of books. “Harry! You’re late for breakfast!” she said, and then paused. Her eyes darted nervously to the floating quill hovering beside Harry’s head. “Why is the quill… following you?”

“Apparently it’s giving me life advice,” Harry said flatly.

Hermione blinked. “Life advice… from a quill?”

“Yes,” Theodore interjected, as calm as if this were normal. “Welcome to Hogwarts.”

Before anyone could respond, a chandelier overhead swung just slightly, as if shaking its head disapprovingly. Harry rubbed his temples. “I swear, I survived Voldemort, the basilisk, and a dragon… and this is my punishment?”

“You’ve been singled out,” Theodore said casually. “The castle likes to… supervise. Protect. Judge. All at once.”

Just then, the staircase shifted again, forcing Harry into a near-run to keep up. He yelped as he almost tripped over a rug that moved like a tiny, grumpy snake. A suit of armor leaned toward him and whispered—yes, whispered—in a low metallic voice:

“Careful. I do not intend to save you twice today.”

Hermione raised an eyebrow. “Did that armor just… talk?”

Harry sighed. “Yes. Yes, it did.”

As they rounded the corner toward the Great Hall, the doors swung open of their own accord. Dumbledore, sitting at the staff table, gave Harry a small, knowing smile. “Good morning, Harry,” he said lightly. “I see Hogwarts is… attentive today.”

“Attentive?” Harry muttered. “It’s terrifying.”

Theodore stifled a laugh, clearly enjoying Harry’s discomfort. “I’d call it slightly overprotective,” he said. “Or dramatic. Probably both.”

Ron appeared just as Harry stepped inside, yawning and rubbing his eyes. He froze mid-step as a toast floated past him—landing neatly on Harry’s plate. “Uh… why did my toast just fly over there?”

Harry groaned. “Because Hogwarts has opinions, apparently.”

Ron stared at him, wide-eyed. “You’ve officially gone insane, or the castle is helping you. I can’t tell which.”

Hermione huffed, adjusting her books. “I think it’s the castle,” she muttered. “And I… don’t entirely disapprove?”

Harry just sat down, rubbing his temples, as Theodore slid in across from him, smirking. “Welcome to your new life,” Theodore said. “You’ve been marked. And the castle… well, it’s trying.”

Harry looked around. Floating books, whispering portraits, judgmental armor, and a suspiciously twitching chandelier overhead. He sighed. “I survived Voldemort, and now I have to survive Hogwarts itself.”

“Exactly,” Theodore said, raising his toast. “Let the games begin.”

And somewhere deep in the castle, a door creaked open, a portrait whispered something about “terrible decisions ahead,” and a suit of armor leaned just a little closer. Hogwarts had officially taken an interest in Harry.

Chapter Text

Harry had learned two things by the time he entered his first class of the day:

1. Hogwarts was alive.
2. It had very strong opinions about him.

He hadn’t expected the classroom itself to be part of the conspiracy. As soon as he stepped into the Charms classroom, the room subtly rearranged itself. Desks slid slightly apart, a stack of books floated to his spot, and the quill from earlier hovered expectantly above it. Harry froze.

“Oh no,” he muttered. “It’s… guiding me?”

From the doorway, Theodore leaned casually against the frame, watching Harry with a grin. “I’d call it… over-involved,” he said. “Mostly helpful. Slightly creepy.”

“Mostly creepy,” Harry corrected, sidestepping a chair that moved in a perfectly timed arc to block the front row.

Hermione, already at the front of the class, raised an eyebrow. “Harry… why is your desk moving?”

“It’s not my desk,” Harry said grimly. “It’s… Hogwarts.”

Hermione blinked. “Hogwarts?”

“Yes,” Harry said, rubbing his temples. “The castle is alive. It’s watching me. Judging me. Protecting me. Possibly plotting murder if I step wrong.”

Theodore snickered. “You might want to thank it later. Or, you know, bow occasionally. Shows respect.”

Harry narrowed his eyes at him. “Thanks for nothing.”

The first task of this… chaos? Charms lesson? began. Professor Flitwick, oblivious to the shifting desks and floating books, asked everyone to practice the Levitation Charm. Harry pointed his wand. A textbook levitated into his hand perfectly—too perfectly, as if it had already been expecting him.

“Ah,” Theodore said, leaning closer. “See? It’s giving you extra help. Consider it… Hogwarts tutoring you, Potter-style.”

Harry groaned. “I didn’t ask for tutoring! And what if it messes up mid-spell? What if—”

“—you fall on your face?” Theodore finished dryly. “Yes. Possibly. But it might also make you look heroic. Risk and reward, Potter.”

A sudden clatter made both boys jump. A stack of chairs at the back of the room leaned toward the ceiling, spinning like a tiny carousel before landing neatly in a corner. Flitwick barely batted an eye. “Ah, Harry,” he said softly, “you always did have… a flair.”

“Yes,” Harry muttered. “Flair. I’m being haunted by furniture.”

From somewhere behind him, a portrait whispered, “Do not let him touch the ceiling fan this time. It got… complicated.” Harry blinked. The ceiling fan? There wasn’t even a ceiling fan. Theodore snorted.

Ron appeared in the doorway, looking pale. “I swear I saw a suit of armor wink at you on the way here,” he said. “And I don’t mean metaphorically.”

Harry nodded grimly. “It did.”

“Of course it did,” Theodore said, smirking. “Welcome to your new Hogwarts life.”

By lunch, Harry realized Hogwarts was everywhere. Chairs floated to prevent him from bumping into someone, the ceiling twitched to drop just the right amount of sunlight onto his table, and a stray pudding on the Slytherin side of the hall slid safely out of his way. Theodore sat across from him, clearly entertained by all of it.

“You think it likes you, right?” Theodore asked casually.

“I think it’s obsessed,” Harry muttered, eyeing a suit of armor that had subtly shifted to block a passing first-year from bumping into him.

“You survived Voldemort, Potter. Surviving Hogwarts is the new challenge,” Theodore said. “And honestly, it’s more fun.”

Harry sighed. “Fun is not the word I’d use for being watched by a building that can kill me if it disagrees with me.”

Theodore laughed, leaning back in his chair. “Relax. The building’s not here to kill you. Mostly. Just… guide you. And occasionally make you look dramatic. It’s Hogwarts’ style.”

Harry groaned, realizing that yes, Hogwarts was officially his chaotic, judgmental, slightly protective best friend. And Theodore… well, Theodore was the perfect audience to enjoy it all.

Chapter Text

The morning started innocently enough. Harry was walking to Potions, or at least trying to. The staircase tilted slightly, nudging him down a longer, more scenic route that passed two floating suits of armor giving him the side-eye. He groaned. Hogwarts had opinions, yes—but apparently it also liked to make him walk extra steps.

From the shadows, Theodore Nott followed, hands in pockets, smirking as Harry huffed in frustration. “It’s building your stamina,” he said casually.

“I don’t need stamina,” Harry muttered. “I need control. And Hogwarts apparently has none.”

“Oh, it has control,” Theodore said, glancing around as a chandelier flickered like it was laughing at them. “It just chooses who gets to experience it.”

Harry rolled his eyes, ignoring the whispering portraits gossiping about his hairstyle. “I feel like I’m starring in a haunted tour guide video.”

The moment they reached the Potions classroom, Harry realized Hogwarts had escalated. The door swung open, then suddenly slammed shut behind them, as if it were blocking someone. Harry looked around. Draco Malfoy was striding toward the classroom with a smirk, and then—ping!—the door gave him a gentle but firm shove.

“Hey!” Draco sputtered, almost tripping over his own robes. “What—?”

Theodore raised an eyebrow. “Seems the castle dislikes you today, Draco. Bad hair day, maybe?”

Draco froze, looking suspiciously at the hallway walls. “This is… ridiculous.”

Harry snorted. “Oh, Draco, you have no idea.”

Inside, the classroom was… rearranged. Desks shifted to give Harry perfect access to all the ingredients, books floated to his table, and a quill hovered above his notebook, scribbling reminders. Hermione, already seated, looked impressed.

“Wow, Harry,” she said softly. “Your Hogwarts… support system is really something.”

“Support system?” Harry muttered. “It’s controlling my life. Also, it seems to enjoy making Draco miserable.”

“Mostly both,” Theodore said dryly, sliding into the seat across from Harry. “I think Hogwarts likes you. And dislikes Malfoy. A lot.”

As the lesson began, a rogue cauldron near the back started to tip over toward Draco. Before anyone could react, a suit of armor gently nudged it away. Draco stumbled back, glaring at nothing.

“See?” Harry whispered to Theodore. “Even armor is on my side.”

Theodore chuckled. “This is going to be fun.”

Indeed, the rest of the day proved it. Every time Draco tried to sneak a spell at Harry, a floating book intercepted it. When Ron tried to accidentally spill his potion, a nearby chair shifted to catch it. And somewhere in the background, a portrait muttered, “Honestly, this boy cannot be allowed near cauldrons unsupervised.”

Harry began to see the pattern. Hogwarts wasn’t just alive. It was his chaotic, slightly dramatic ally. And Theodore? Well, he had perfectly adapted to being the amused, slightly smirking partner-in-chaos.

During lunch, the floating quill scribbled a note for Harry: “Trust the castle. It has plans. Mostly good ones.”

Harry unfolded it, showing Theodore. “Plans? Mostly good? That’s reassuring.”

Theodore smirked. “Mostly good, mostly chaos. Classic Hogwarts style.”

Later, as they walked toward their next class, a vine stretched out from a courtyard window, attempting to trip a passing first-year. It froze mid-air, and Harry realized: Hogwarts was actively controlling the environment to protect him.

“Alright,” Harry muttered, looking at Theodore, “this is officially insane. I have a castle watching me, armor bodyguards, floating quills, and Theodore acting like he’s enjoying all of it.”

Theodore grinned. “I am enjoying it. You, on the other hand… well, that’s half the fun.”

Harry groaned. Somewhere deep in the walls, a door creaked open, a chandelier twitched like a wink, and a portrait whispered: “Prepare for tomorrow, Potter. It only gets better.”

Harry sighed, realizing that surviving Hogwarts might now be harder than surviving Voldemort.

But with Theodore by his side, and Hogwarts itself on his team? Maybe, just maybe, he could survive—and maybe even have a little fun along the way.

Chapter Text

By midweek, Harry had fully accepted a terrifying truth: Hogwarts had officially chosen him. The stairs shifted at will, portraits whispered advice and judgment, suits of armor followed him like sassy bodyguards, and random objects occasionally nudged him out of trouble. He was beginning to suspect that surviving Voldemort had been the easy part.

“Why does it always happen in front of Malfoy?” Harry muttered as he approached the Charms classroom.

Theodore, walking beside him with his usual smirk, raised an eyebrow. “Because Hogwarts has style. And apparently, it enjoys watching him squirm.”

Harry groaned. “This isn’t funny!”

“Oh, it’s hilarious,” Theodore said, nodding toward a nearby suit of armor. The armor tilted slightly, almost in agreement, before pivoting to block a rogue feather duster that had floated toward Harry.

Inside the classroom, the chaos escalated. The desks subtly shifted to give Harry and Theodore perfect positioning, while Draco tried to maneuver around the floating quills that seemed to always hover near him. One quill scribbled an entire note in midair: “Beware: Potion will spill if you attempt to cheat.” Draco froze, glaring at nothing.

“See?” Harry whispered to Theodore. “It’s actively sabotaging him.”

Theodore grinned. “And it’s beautiful.”

Meanwhile, Hermione and Ron had arrived late, glancing around the classroom in awe. Hermione whispered to Ron, “Is it just me, or is Hogwarts… helping Harry?”

“Definitely helping,” Ron said, ducking a floating textbook that narrowly missed his head. “I think it’s like a… magical, judgmental bodyguard.”

Professor Flitwick, blissfully unaware of the chaos, asked everyone to practice a complex levitation charm. Harry lifted his book effortlessly—the floating quill guided his wand movements like a coach. Theodore raised an eyebrow, clearly impressed.

“You’re letting Hogwarts help?” he teased.

Harry rolled his eyes. “It’s either help or death, choose wisely.”

Draco, meanwhile, was having a much worse time. A potion he had attempted to sneakily use on Harry slipped from his grasp, hovering mid-air—stopped only by a suit of armor giving it a polite nudge away from Harry. Draco’s face twisted in frustration, muttering something about “impossible school policies.”

“You’re welcome,” Harry whispered, grinning.

During lunch, chaos continued. A floating pudding attempted to leap from the Slytherin table toward Harry, but Hogwarts intervened. The pudding stopped midair, hovered dramatically, and then gently landed on Harry’s tray. Theodore laughed outright.

“See? Even dessert bows to your presence,” he said.

Harry groaned. “I feel like a king in a castle that wants to kill me if I misstep.”

“You are a king,” Theodore said, smirking. “Just… not a normal one.”

As the day drew to a close, Harry and Theodore walked together through a hallway, stepping carefully around a vine that had frozen mid-air to avoid him.

“Alright,” Harry said, exasperated. “We need a plan. Hogwarts is… helpful, yes, but also insane.”

Theodore grinned. “Plan? Easy. Step one: survive. Step two: don’t annoy it. Step three: enjoy the chaos while it lasts.”

Harry looked at him, and for a brief second, he realized… maybe Theodore actually enjoyed all of this madness. Not just the chaos itself, but watching him navigate it, grumbling and tripping over moving chairs, dodging floating books, and getting whispered advice from portraits.

Hogwarts had officially made its choice. Harry and Theodore were its chosen duo—its chaotic little champions. And for the first time, Harry wasn’t entirely terrified.

He might even… kind of enjoy it.

Chapter Text

Harry had always known that Hogwarts could be… eccentric. But today, it was downright dramatic.

He was walking to Defense Against the Dark Arts when the staircase tilted sharply, sending him sliding—safely—into Theodore’s path. Theodore caught him effortlessly, smirking. “Smooth,” he said. “You’re like a magnet for chaos.”

Harry glared. “I think Hogwarts is trying to kill me.”

“Or… save you,” Theodore countered, clearly enjoying himself.

Before Harry could argue, the doors to the classroom swung open—and then slammed shut behind them with a soft thud, cutting off the corridor. A suit of armor marched past, standing guard, while a portrait whispered, “He shall not pass until all is… prepared.”

Harry froze. “Prepared for what?”

Theodore raised an eyebrow. “Apparently… Hogwarts likes dramatic entrances.”

Inside the classroom, things escalated further. Draco Malfoy was attempting to sneak a spell toward Harry, wand flicking subtly. But the classroom itself wasn’t having it. A floating book intercepted the spell, spinning lazily in the air before landing neatly on Harry’s desk. Draco flinched, looking around suspiciously.

“You’re welcome,” Harry whispered to him, grinning.

Hermione, observing from her seat, couldn’t help but whisper: “It’s like the castle is… protecting him.”

“Protecting him?” Ron muttered, ducking as a tiny vine stretched toward the wrong table and froze mid-air. “More like babysitting with style.”

Theodore leaned closer to Harry, smirking. “See? This is what I meant about ‘Hogwarts as an ally.’ You don’t even have to ask for help—it’s just… automatic.”

Harry groaned. “Automatic chaos, more like it.”

The lesson escalated further when a rogue cauldron tipped toward Draco, only to be gently nudged back upright by a suit of armor. Draco’s face turned a shade of green that perfectly matched his robes. “I—I—this is… impossible!”

“Not impossible,” Harry said, quietly thrilled. “Hogwarts is winning.”

Theodore leaned back, smirking. “I told you. It likes you.”

By lunch, Hogwarts’ “intervention” reached a new level. The floating quill hovered over Harry’s tray, scribbling reminders about which foods were safe to eat and which were liable to stain robes. A portrait whispered flirtatiously, “Do not drop your pudding, darling. It is… precious.”

Harry looked at Theodore, who was laughing quietly across from him. “Why is everyone enjoying this so much except me?”

“Because,” Theodore said, raising an eyebrow, “you’re the star of the show. Everyone else is merely… audience.”

Harry groaned, realizing something else. Theodore’s amusement wasn’t just about Hogwarts. It was about him. The way Harry stumbled through moving staircases, dodged floating books, and got whispered advice from the portraits.

Hogwarts had officially chosen its champion. And Theodore… was clearly enjoying watching Harry navigate the chaos.

By the time they walked to their next class, Harry was beginning to suspect two things:

1. Hogwarts could make even the most mundane day feel like an adventure… or a nightmare.
2. Theodore Nott was far too entertained by all of it.

As a vine stretched lazily from the courtyard to block an incoming first-year, Harry realized he wasn’t entirely terrified. Maybe, just maybe, this was fun.

He glanced at Theodore, whose smirk was all too knowing. Hogwarts had their champion. And now, Harry had someone who could enjoy the chaos with him.

Even if it was slightly terrifying.

Chapter Text

Harry had come to a realization: Hogwarts was no longer just “alive.” It was sentient, opinionated, and completely obsessed with making sure he survived the day.

He learned this the hard way on the way to Care of Magical Creatures. A vine shot up from the courtyard, swinging toward him like a low-level attack, and Harry froze mid-step.

Before he could react, the vine stopped, hovering in mid-air. A suit of armor pivoted, blocking any chance of it touching him. Then a floating book drifted beside him, scribbling: “Do not engage. You will survive. Trust me.”

Harry blinked. “Okay… what?!”

Theodore, walking beside him as casual as ever, smirked. “See? Told you. Hogwarts is protective. And theatrical. Mostly both.”

Harry groaned. “Protective… yes. Dramatic… absolutely. Sanity… gone.”

They rounded the corner and saw Draco Malfoy trying to sneak past, wand at the ready. But the castle wasn’t having it. The doorway shifted slightly, blocking Draco’s path. A nearby portrait whispered something sarcastic: “Really, Malfoy? Again?”

Draco froze, glaring at Harry like he was personally responsible for the sentient castle.

“Looks like Hogwarts hates him today,” Harry whispered to Theodore.

Theodore smirked. “I’d say it enjoys teaching him a lesson. You, on the other hand… it loves.”

Harry rolled his eyes, but a small smile tugged at his lips. He was beginning to notice something else. Theodore didn’t just observe the chaos—he thrived in it, laughing quietly at Harry’s reactions, leaning in just enough to share a subtle joke, a smirk, a glance.

In Care of Magical Creatures, chaos reached a peak. A baby Hippogriff leapt toward Harry mid-lesson, but before it could touch him, the ceiling subtly shifted, tilting him out of danger. A quill hovered, scribbling: “Do not panic. You will be fine.”

Theodore laughed outright. “You really do have the castle on your side.”

Harry muttered, brushing stray hair from his face. “Yeah… yeah, I guess I do. But it’s exhausting.”

Theodore leaned closer, smirking. “Exhausting… or thrilling?”

Harry froze for a heartbeat. “Thrilling?” he repeated, incredulous.

“Maybe both,” Theodore said, eyes glinting. “I think you secretly like it.”

Harry shot him a look, but the corners of his mouth twitched. Somewhere deep in the castle, a portrait chuckled and a chandelier swayed like it was winking. Hogwarts approved.

By lunch, the chaos continued—but now Harry realized it was more than just protection. The castle actively looked out for him. When a tray of floating puddings threatened to collide with him, the floating books and chairs shifted to shield him. A vine curled in midair to block a stray student who had accidentally swung their wand too close.

Even Theodore seemed to notice Harry noticing him noticing the chaos. Every shared glance, every subtle smirk, every word whispered between classes… it carried weight.

Harry sighed, glancing at Theodore. “This is insane.”

Theodore tilted his head, eyes teasing. “Maybe. But you’re surviving. And you’re smiling. Admit it—you like it.”

Harry groaned, but there was no denying it entirely. He liked having Hogwarts on his side. He liked having Theodore by his side. And maybe… maybe he even liked how much Theodore seemed to enjoy watching him navigate the chaos.

A floating quill scribbled on the table between them: “You two make a fine team.”

Harry blinked. He looked at Theodore. Theodore smirked. And somewhere deep in the castle, a suit of armor gave a subtle nod, approvingly.

Hogwarts had chosen him. Theodore had chosen… well, maybe he had, too.

And for the first time, Harry felt like he wasn’t just surviving the day. He was thriving—in chaos, in chaos with someone who made it… somehow… fun.

Chapter Text

Harry had just survived another morning of moving staircases, whispering portraits, and floating quills when the castle decided to escalate.

He was walking to Transfiguration with Theodore at his side when a vine suddenly shot across the corridor, aiming straight for him. But before he could flinch, a suit of armor intercepted, spinning dramatically to block the attack. A quill hovered beside Harry, scribbling: “Step lightly. Danger avoided.”

Harry froze. “I… what?!”

Theodore smirked, leaning against the wall. “See? Hogwarts is taking this very seriously. You’re… special.”

Harry groaned. “Special? I’m terrified! And sweaty! And apparently a walking magnet for chaos!”

From the shadows, Draco Malfoy emerged, wand at the ready. He was about to yell when the corridor subtly shifted, blocking him from approaching Harry. A portrait on the wall whispered loudly: “Really, Malfoy? Again?”

Draco froze, glaring at the walls. “This… is ridiculous!”

“You’re welcome,” Harry whispered to Theodore, who was clearly enjoying it far too much.

By the time they reached Transfiguration, whispers had started circulating. Hermione and Ron had noticed too. “Harry… Hogwarts is actively favoring you,” Hermione whispered, eyes wide.

Ron’s tray of breakfast slid slightly toward Harry’s table, and a floating quill scribbled in his direction: “Try not to spill.” Ron blinked. “I… I think it hates me. Or likes you more. Probably both.”

Theodore leaned over, smirking. “See? Even your friends are part of the castle’s commentary now.”

During class, chaos reached a new level. A rogue cauldron aimed to topple over—right toward Harry—but a suit of armor spun, catching it mid-air. A floating book nudged his wand, ensuring the spell he was practicing landed perfectly. And somewhere near the ceiling, a chandelier swayed dramatically, almost as if applauding his success.

Harry couldn’t help but glance at Theodore. “This… is insane.”

Theodore’s smirk softened slightly. “Insane… or thrilling?”

Harry blinked. “Thrilling?”

Theodore shrugged, eyes glinting. “Maybe. Mostly. Admit it—you like it.”

Harry groaned but felt heat creep up his neck. He didn’t answer. Instead, he focused on the vine curling gently out of his way, the quill hovering protectively above him, and the suit of armor giving Draco a subtle glare.

After class, in the corridor, Harry realized that Hogwarts wasn’t just protective—it was strategic. Stairs tilted subtly to guide him away from trouble, books floated to warn him about approaching students, and portraits whispered tiny hints. Even Draco noticed, muttering furiously: “This… this castle… it’s biased!”

“You’re right,” Harry said, smirking at Theodore. “It is biased. And apparently very proud of it.”

Theodore laughed softly. “And now you see why I enjoy walking beside you through chaos. You’re entertaining, Harry.”

Harry looked at him, a blush creeping across his cheeks. He opened his mouth to reply, then realized—words might not be necessary. Theodore’s smirk, the quiet confidence, the shared glance—it said enough.

And somewhere deep in the walls, a portrait whispered: “The chosen duo. Excellent.”

Harry exhaled, realizing something else. Hogwarts had chosen him. Theodore had chosen… to be here, watching him navigate this chaotic, protective, magical madhouse.

And for the first time, Harry didn’t just feel protected—he felt… seen.