Chapter Text
Harry had learned two things by the time he entered his first class of the day:
1. Hogwarts was alive.
2. It had very strong opinions about him.
He hadn’t expected the classroom itself to be part of the conspiracy. As soon as he stepped into the Charms classroom, the room subtly rearranged itself. Desks slid slightly apart, a stack of books floated to his spot, and the quill from earlier hovered expectantly above it. Harry froze.
“Oh no,” he muttered. “It’s… guiding me?”
From the doorway, Theodore leaned casually against the frame, watching Harry with a grin. “I’d call it… over-involved,” he said. “Mostly helpful. Slightly creepy.”
“Mostly creepy,” Harry corrected, sidestepping a chair that moved in a perfectly timed arc to block the front row.
Hermione, already at the front of the class, raised an eyebrow. “Harry… why is your desk moving?”
“It’s not my desk,” Harry said grimly. “It’s… Hogwarts.”
Hermione blinked. “Hogwarts?”
“Yes,” Harry said, rubbing his temples. “The castle is alive. It’s watching me. Judging me. Protecting me. Possibly plotting murder if I step wrong.”
Theodore snickered. “You might want to thank it later. Or, you know, bow occasionally. Shows respect.”
Harry narrowed his eyes at him. “Thanks for nothing.”
The first task of this… chaos? Charms lesson? began. Professor Flitwick, oblivious to the shifting desks and floating books, asked everyone to practice the Levitation Charm. Harry pointed his wand. A textbook levitated into his hand perfectly—too perfectly, as if it had already been expecting him.
“Ah,” Theodore said, leaning closer. “See? It’s giving you extra help. Consider it… Hogwarts tutoring you, Potter-style.”
Harry groaned. “I didn’t ask for tutoring! And what if it messes up mid-spell? What if—”
“—you fall on your face?” Theodore finished dryly. “Yes. Possibly. But it might also make you look heroic. Risk and reward, Potter.”
A sudden clatter made both boys jump. A stack of chairs at the back of the room leaned toward the ceiling, spinning like a tiny carousel before landing neatly in a corner. Flitwick barely batted an eye. “Ah, Harry,” he said softly, “you always did have… a flair.”
“Yes,” Harry muttered. “Flair. I’m being haunted by furniture.”
From somewhere behind him, a portrait whispered, “Do not let him touch the ceiling fan this time. It got… complicated.” Harry blinked. The ceiling fan? There wasn’t even a ceiling fan. Theodore snorted.
Ron appeared in the doorway, looking pale. “I swear I saw a suit of armor wink at you on the way here,” he said. “And I don’t mean metaphorically.”
Harry nodded grimly. “It did.”
“Of course it did,” Theodore said, smirking. “Welcome to your new Hogwarts life.”
By lunch, Harry realized Hogwarts was everywhere. Chairs floated to prevent him from bumping into someone, the ceiling twitched to drop just the right amount of sunlight onto his table, and a stray pudding on the Slytherin side of the hall slid safely out of his way. Theodore sat across from him, clearly entertained by all of it.
“You think it likes you, right?” Theodore asked casually.
“I think it’s obsessed,” Harry muttered, eyeing a suit of armor that had subtly shifted to block a passing first-year from bumping into him.
“You survived Voldemort, Potter. Surviving Hogwarts is the new challenge,” Theodore said. “And honestly, it’s more fun.”
Harry sighed. “Fun is not the word I’d use for being watched by a building that can kill me if it disagrees with me.”
Theodore laughed, leaning back in his chair. “Relax. The building’s not here to kill you. Mostly. Just… guide you. And occasionally make you look dramatic. It’s Hogwarts’ style.”
Harry groaned, realizing that yes, Hogwarts was officially his chaotic, judgmental, slightly protective best friend. And Theodore… well, Theodore was the perfect audience to enjoy it all.