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Chapter Text

Major John Sheppard sighed as he glanced out the right side of the windshield and studied the explosion of color caused by the sun setting over the western horizon. Correction… Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard. He was still getting used to his promotion.

Actually, everything in his life seemed to have tilted on its head. It was hard for him to comprehend that he was on Earth again, driving a classic muscle car down a deserted back road. Especially when he considered that he’d been living in another galaxy for the last several months, fighting aliens and helping run a forward operating base (FOB) in a futuristic city that was built millions of years ago by the Ancients. True, he hadn’t been in charge of the whole base, just the military, but that had only come about because he killed his commanding officer to put him out of his misery after being fed on by a she-bitch of a space vampire. All the same, he’d made the best of his time so far away from the planet of his birth and Atlantis now felt like home. It had been hard to gate back to Earth, but the SGC and IOA demanded that most of the senior staff from the expedition return to speak, in person, about everything that had happened since the moment they passed through the event horizon and came out in the Pegasus galaxy. What followed was days of endless meetings, answering questions and rehashing details over and over to select groups of people. But at the end of it, they’d been given the okay to return, after they recruited more expedition members and resupplied. General Landry had tried to appoint Caldwell as the new military commander for the expedition; however, Dr. Weir wouldn’t hear of it. Elizabeth had gone straight to the President and made her opinion known, which led to him getting promoted. The whole thing still made him chuckle. And they said I’d never make it past Captain.

With another sigh, John refocused his eyes on the road. After getting his promotion and all the administrative things were completed, the Atlantis senior staff had been given some time off to let their new members prepare for their big move and for the Daedalus to finish repairs. In an effort to get him out of the Mountain and save his sanity, Cam Mitchell had offered him a place to stay and then the use of his car to visit with a buddy in Denver. Now, he was on his way back to Colorado Springs. Shaft had said he could keep the car another day and spend the night in the city, but Sheppard insisted he would be back in time for dinner and some beers at his friend’s favorite bar. He wasn’t sure why though. It felt like he NEEDED to be back and he knew better than to fight his instincts, especially since what he was feeling was similar to something he’d being keeping secret, from everyone, except for Dr. Carson Beckett. As his physician of record, he was bound by doctor-patient confidentiality and he was going to keep it that way… for the time being.

He’d been keeping his secret for almost a year, ever since he sat in the Antarctica Chair. After his first time interacting with Ancient technology, save the drone which had almost killed him and General O’Neill, he’d developed a sixth sense regarding the ATA gene, not that he knew that at the time, but he figured it out pretty quick, once Carson, Elizabeth and Dr. Jackson explained how the gene worked and who had it. He didn’t mention it to Beckett until they reached Atlantis and it grew stronger. He could even tell the difference between natural carriers and people who had the gene therapy. It was a neat little trick and came in handy at times, but he still didn’t know why or how he’d developed this strange new talent. It honestly didn’t seem worth mentioning to his superiors and none of his physicals had shown anything out of the ordinary. However, it was strange that he was feeling something similar as he drove back to Colorado Springs. He planned to call Carson the next day and talk about it, unless he could figure it out on his own. He didn’t want to bother the doc; he had other things to occupy his time, though he was still in town, having opted not to visit his family in Scotland. 

The newly minted Lieutenant Colonel studied the area he was driving through. He could’ve taken the highway from Denver to Colorado Springs and probably would’ve already made it back. But he didn’t know when he might return to Earth next and wanted to enjoy the opportunity to drive uninhibited. It had been a while since he saw any other cars and it allowed him to put the Mustang through its paces. It was growing darker as the sun sank lower and he pressed on the gas. Cam was going to kill him if he was late to the bar. Suddenly, down the road, he spotted something moving along the shoulder. He tapped the brake to slow his momentum. He didn’t want to hit an animal and damage his friend’s car, since that would definitely get him killed, one way or the other. As he grew closer, it became obvious that the something he had seen wasn’t a bit of local fauna, but a person dressed in shabby, dirty clothes. He pressed harder on the brake and slid past the person.

“Damn it.” John cursed. He pulled onto the shoulder and stopped, putting the car in park and setting the emergency brake. What he was feeling was unexpected; a tingle along the edge of his senses. He could ignore it, but for some reason, he didn’t want to. He climbed out of the Mustang, keys in hand, and turned to study the person drawing closer to him, but then they stopped and stared at him. Trepidation filled a pair of warm brown eyes. 

At first, he’d thought it was a man trudging along the side of the deserted road, but now it was clear that he was actually a she. She was a good head shorter than him, bundled up in several layers of well-worn clothes and a large, heavy-duty pack was strapped on her back. Her brown hair was pulled back into a sloppy braid. It and the rest of her was in need of a long, hot shower and maybe a nice, hearty meal.

“Can I give you a ride?” Sheppard asked as he took a step towards her.

She jumped back and grabbed the straps of her bag, pulling it snuggly against her. She appeared ready to run.

Holding up both hands, John threw a smile in her direction. “I’m not going to hurt you. It’s getting late and there aren’t any lights along this road. I’d hate for you to get hit by a careless driver. I can take you into Colorado Springs and drop you wherever you want.”

She eyed him warily. It was clear she didn’t know if she could trust him. Maybe if he shared a little about himself, it would put her at ease.

“I’m John. John Sheppard. I’m in the Air Force and stationed out of Cheyenne Mountain. I swear to you, I mean you no harm. I just want to help.” He wasn’t the kind of person to pick up hitchhikers, not in this day and age, but there was something about her. He felt like he had to help her. Plus, there was the tingle he felt, which he would examine more later.

“Okay.” Her voice was faint, but given how quiet it was, he’d clearly heard it. His smile turned into a full-born grin.

“Great. We can throw your bag in the trunk.” Before he could even reach the rear of the vehicle, she vehemently shook her head, No. “Or not.” He pointed to the other side of the car. “Hop in the front. We’re not far from the city limits.” Without waiting for her to respond, he climbed back in the open front door, shut it, and started the engine. Then he waited. 

It seemed like ages passed, but it was probably only a couple of minutes until the passenger door creaked open. She slid inside and wedged her pack between her legs. She slammed the door shut and put on her seatbelt. She didn’t glance in his direction. Her head was down and her eyes stayed locked on her bag.

After checking his mirrors and seeing nothing, Sheppard pulled back on to the road and sped towards town. He wasn’t much of a talker, not like Rodney, and didn’t feel it necessary to fill the silence with chatter, but he wanted his passenger to be comfortable with him. Her back was rigid and she had a vise grip on the top handle of her pack. “Have you been on the road long?”

He received no response. She didn’t move a muscle. It was like she was frozen. He continued, undeterred by her silence.

“I just came home after months off… overseas. Not that Colorado Springs is home, but it’s familiar. I’ve spent a lot of time living in crappy places. Before my most recent posting, I was in Antarctica. I kinda liked it. The cold wasn’t too bad; it was the quiet that got to me every now and then.” He glanced over at her.

Her head was angled slightly towards him. The fact that she was listening to him made him smile. Now he needed to build on that.

“Most of my postings were rough, but my current one is lush in comparison. Not that it isn’t dangerous. We have a lot to contend with, but I have running water, hot and cold, a comfortable bed and decent food to eat. I’m going to savor it as long as it lasts.” He saw her head nod out of the corner of his eye. It probably wasn’t fair of him to mention things she currently didn’t have available to her, for whatever reason, but she was engaging with him, even if only slightly. Now it was time for him to change course. “I forgot to ask. What’s your name?” He stopped talking and waited for her to respond.

After a few minutes, her lips finally moved. “Mariah.” Her voice was weak and rough, maybe from lack of use. She wasn’t much to look at with her dirty face, hair and clothes, but there was something about her. His need to get back to Colorado Springs had waned, but he wasn’t ready to declare her the cause yet.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mariah.” He stated. His voice was pleasant and light. He started to speak again, but then his phone rang. “Could you get that for me and put it on speaker?” He took his hand off the wheel, grabbed his SGC-issued cell and offered it to her. She frantically took it and fumbled to hit the right buttons to do as he asked. “Sheppard.” He barked.

“Where the hell are you, Shep? I’m starving.” Cam’s voice shouted through the phone’s speaker.

“I’m almost there. I can see the city limits now.” He stole a glance at his passenger. “I made a new friend. Do you mind if I bring her along?”

“Her? You picked up a woman in Denver? You dog!” His fellow Colonel chuckled.

John offered the young woman an apologetic look. She gave him a faint smile in return. “I didn’t pick her up in Denver and she can hear you.”

“Shoot. I’m sorry, miss. I…. What do you mean you didn’t pick her up in Denver?”

“I just didn’t.” He snatched the phone away from Mariah and growled into it. “I’ll explain it to you later.” He ended the call before his friend could respond and threw the cell back into the cup holder he’d initially retrieved it from. “Sorry about that. How’d you feel about getting a bite to eat? My treat?” He gave her his best innocent look as they entered the outskirts of Colorado Springs.

“Okay.” Was her soft response.

“Great.” He felt lighter as soon as she agreed. He had a feeling this one meal was going to change everything for the both of them.

*****

Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell sighed and waved over his regular server. He was seated at a booth in the back corner of his neighborhood bar. It was only a few blocks from his apartment and was his Friday night hangout spot. Usually, he brought his team with him, but this Friday night, he was meeting up with his temporary roommate. He had plans with his teammates for the next couple of afternoons and evenings, so skipping their regular get together wasn’t a big deal. Football season was starting, both college and NFL. It seemed ideal to spend that time communing with his team and eating good food, but without people trying to kill them. Not that he’d seen much action since reforming SG-1, but he knew it would happen eventually. They were SG-1 after all.

“What can I get you, Colonel?” The female server asked when she reached his table. She was older with grey-streaked black hair that was pulled back in a ponytail. She was tall and trim and looked like she could easily handle any trouble that might come her way.

“How many times have I told you to call me, Cam, Allie?”

“Probably well over a dozen. Sorry. Another beer?” She pointed to the empty glass on the table.

“Yeah, my buddy should be here soon and he’s bringing a friend.” He shared. “Thanks again for letting me change tables.”

“No problem.” He grabbed his glass. “I’ll get you a refill and bring another menu. Be back in a couple.” She strolled away.

The bar wasn’t too busy for a Friday night. Only about half the tables were full, but the after-work happy hour was over and the people who’d come for dinner had already begun to leave. Shawn’s Bar wasn’t known to be a party spot. Places like that were in the downtown area and near the college. It was just a neighborhood place, where the locals came for a drink or some food after work, or to watch sports on select evenings or the weekend.

Hearing the front door open, Mitchell lifted his head and saw John coming towards him. He rose, then spotted the person with his friend. He was confused. He’d thought the other man had picked up a date, not a vagrant. He didn’t react as he watched them cross the bar towards him. A few of the other patrons gave them a passing glance, but immediately went back to eating, drinking or talking to those they were with.

“Sorry, I’m late, Shaft. I decided to come via the backroads instead of the highway and lost track of time.”

“It’s fine.” The two men shook. When he pulled back, the leader of SG-1 pointed at the young woman. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Mariah.” Sheppard smiled down at his companion. “Mariah, this is Lieutenant Colonel Cam Mitchell. We used to fly together.” Sensing the hesitancy in her, he added. “He’s a good guy. You can trust him.” She nodded at him.

“Nice to meet you, Mariah.” He held out a hand to her, but she shied away from it. He dropped his hand back to his side. He smiled at her. “I’m sorry about what I said on the phone. My momma taught me manners, but sometimes I forget them.”

“It’s… okay.” She whispered.

“Have a seat. I need to talk to John for a minute.” He pointed at the booth he’d been at. She scurried over, set her pack on the bench and slid in next to it, her head down.

Cam grabbed his friend’s arm and pulled him out of hearing range of their table. “What the hell, Shep? A bum?”

“She’s not a bum.” Sheppard ripped his arm loose from the other man’s vise like grip. “She’s homeless, I think. I spotted her along the edge of the road, walking towards Colorado Springs. I offered her a ride. She’s scared, alone and in need of a good meal. And maybe a little compassion.” He growled the end part. His eyes kept jumping from the booth back to the man in front of him. He didn’t want Mariah to disappear before he got her the meal he promised.

“I’m sorry. You’re right.” Mitchell took a deep breath. His parents had taught him more than manners; they’d taught him about charity and helping the less fortunate. He tried to do it on missions and now off-world, though it wasn’t always accepted. But this was Earth, they were in the good old U. S. of A., and it was in his power to do something for this young woman. He glanced over his shoulder at her. She wasn’t much to look at. He wondered what she was like under all that dirt and grime. Sensing movement, he swung around and saw Allie headed their way. She was carrying a tray with his beer on it along with a couple of glasses of water. A menu was tucked under her arm. “Let’s sit down and order.” They returned to their table. The two men sat side-by-side, giving Mariah some space.

“Here you are, Cam.” She handed him the beer. Then she placed the waters down in front of the two newcomers and gave the additional menu to John. “Can I get you something to drink, honey?”

“I’ll take a beer, same as Cam.” The Atlantis military commander replied, before opening his menu and going over the options.

“And you?” Allie looked at the other side of the table and her eyes grew soft as she took in Mariah’s appearance. The young woman wrapped both hands around the glass of water in front of her and pulled it towards her. She didn’t utter a word, but she didn’t need to. “Just water for now. Got it. I’ll be back in a few minutes to get your food order.” The server turned on her heels and walked away. 

The two men watched Mariah take a small sip of water, both hands locked around the glass. Her head was still down, but she was moving it slightly, taking in the sounds of the bar and remaining alert. The leader of SG-1 spoke up. “How long have you been on your own, Mariah?” His question earned him a sharp elbow to the ribs from his fellow pilot.

“Five….” She muttered and trailed off.

“Weeks? Months?” Mitchell knew it had to have been longer than that, but saying it would make it real and he didn’t want to be the one to do it.

“Years.” She replied.

Cam restrained a gasp and a curse, while Sheppard growled next to him, not because he was angry at her, just the situation. “Then I’m glad John found you.” He knew she deserved more than a ride and something to eat, but he wasn’t sure what he could do for her. He started with the most obvious thing, given where they were and pointed at the menu resting on the table next to her elbow. “The food here is really good. Simple and filling. You can get anything you want.”

“Okay.” Her voice was so low that neither man was sure she even spoke. However, she took one hand off her glass and flipped the menu open, before return her hand to the glass. Her eyes fluttered over her choices.

Several minutes passed in silence, though the two Colonels exchanged a few looks. Then Allie reappeared at their table and dropped a mug of beer in front of John. “What can I get for you guys?”

“I’ll take my usual.” Mitchell gave her his menu.

“Spicy chicken wings for Cam. I should’ve guessed. And you, honey?” She moved her gaze to Sheppard.

“Ribeye, medium rare.” He gave her his menu as well. Everyone looked at Mariah and waited.

She pointed at her menu, then at John. Allie shifted to see which item she’d chosen. “Ah, a cheeseburger, medium rare. Do you want all the toppings?” She picked up the third menu and paused.

“No… onions.”

“I’m right there with you, sweetie. Give me heartburn. I’ll put everything in the computer and have it out to you as soon as it’s done.” She began to walk away, but saw the young woman raise her hand slightly. Allie immediately came back. “Something else?”

“Bathroom?”

The server pointed to her left. “Down that hall to your right. Door’s marked. I’ll be back.” She hurried away.

Sliding out of the booth, Mariah grabbed her pack and stood. But Sheppard spoke to her before she could leave. “You don’t need to take your bag. I promise, Cam and I won’t let anything happen to it.” She stayed frozen for a minute, then pushed her pack back to where it had been, before almost sprinting away from the table and disappearing from view.

Mitchell twisted in his seat and glared at the man beside him. “Explain, Shep. Now!”

*****

Coming out of the stall, Mariah stared at herself in the mirror. It had been a long time since she’d taken a good look at herself. She raised a hand to her head and rubbed it over her dirty hair down to the thread-bare shirts and old canvas coat she wore. She hissed slightly when she came to her right side. She pulled away as if burned. With a shake of her head, she turned on one of the faucets and began to wash her hands. Her thoughts drifted to where she currently was.

She hadn’t thought much of it when that classic Mustang went passed and pulled over onto the shoulder down the road from her. But she froze as soon as she saw the car’s driver watching her. She about jumped out of her skin and bolted when he offered her a ride. However, a feeling she hadn’t felt in a long time settled over her as she looked him over; trust. She didn’t know why, but she trusted him. With one gaze and a few words, he made her feel safe, something almost foreign to her over the last five years. Since she knew she could handle herself, she took the chance. Getting a meal out of the whole experience was a happy bonus. Then they arrived at the bar. John’s friend had seemed scary at first, especially since it was obvious he wasn’t happy to see her or more likely didn’t appreciate the fact she was homeless. He came around quickly though and he felt safe, too, just not as much as John.

The door to the ladies’ room opening startled her out of her contemplation and she shut off the water. She glanced up and saw the woman who’d taken their food order. She trembled slightly.

“Hey, sweetie. I’m Allie. I know you don’t know me, but I brought you a couple of things.” It was only then that Mariah saw she had a plastic bag in one hand. The server pulled something out. It was a dark blue t-shirt with the bar’s logo on it. “I thought you might appreciate having something clean to wear. It’s not much, but it’s good quality. It’ll last awhile. And I can get rid of your old ones or you can keep them, your choice.” She held out the t-shirt to her.

Mariah looked down at herself and sighed. She didn’t have any sentimental attachment to what she had on, save the coat, and it would be nice to feel a little bit cleaner. She reached out and took the offered piece of clothing, then she stared at the other woman, hoping she’d understand what she wanted. Thankfully, she did..

“I’ll turn around.”

Once she wasn’t being watched and after carefully placing her new shirt aside, Mariah took off her coat, setting it on the counter, and grabbed the hem of the three thin shirts she had on, yanking them off and dropping them on the floor. Layering was very important on the streets, plus they were so worn it made sense. She did her best to avoid looking at herself in the mirror. She didn’t need to see the state of her body; she was all too familiar with it. She wanted to get rid of her ratty bra, too, but it was the only one she had. She shimmied into the clean t-shirt and stepped forward to tap the other woman on the shoulder.

Allie turned to face her and smiled. “You look better already, not that you didn’t look fine before. I-.”

“I understand.” Mariah whispered. She squatted down and picked up her old shirts.

“Keep or toss?”

“Toss.”

“Great.” Allie took the other item out of the bag and put it on the counter, then let her stuff the dirty garments into the bag. She went over to the trash can and dropped the old clothes, bag and all, inside. Then she came back over and grabbed the thing she’d set aside. It was a zipper pouch about the size of a loaf of bread. “I work at a women’s shelter on my days off and we make up these little kits to give the ladies.” She unzipped it and showed Mariah what was inside. “There’s face soap, body wash, shampoo and conditioner, both regular and dry, a brush, a comb, a few hair ties, a washcloth, a toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, and a few cosmetics. I had this out in my car and thought you might be able to use it.”

Tears entered Mariah’s eyes. She was overwhelmed. Today was the best day she’d had in a very long time; a ride, a meal, clean clothes and now a few personal care products. She might just get to feel human again. “Thank you.” She stated at a normal volume. She was fighting the urge to bawl like a baby.

“Us girls need to stick together.” Allie smiled and ignored the emotions the other woman was plainly feeling. “Why don’t you brush your teeth and wash your face and I’ll take care of your hair?”

“It’s dirty.” Mariah grabbed the end of her braid and wrapped it around the front of her throat.

The older woman stepped forward, her smile still in place. She gave the pouch to her and grabbed three items out of it, a spray bottle, the brush and a hair tie. “That’s why I’m going to brush in the dry shampoo. You’ll look like a million bucks by the time we’re done.” Not waiting for any further arguments, Allie started on her hair.

Between the two of them, they made short work of what they needed to do and when Mariah looked in the mirror again, an old friend was looking back. She tamped down on another round of tears, put her old coat back on and hugged Allie tightly.

The server returned the embrace, then packed up all the toiletries they’d used into the pouch and gave it to the young woman. “You better hurry back to your table. I’m sure the guys are wondering where you went and I need to check on your order.” She strode to the door, but paused before heading out. “Colonel Mitchell is an honorable man and I highly doubt he’d be friends with someone who was anything less than the same. I thought you should know.” Then she was gone.

With a final glance in the mirror, Mariah left the bathroom and made her way back to the table. She turned to face the two men and watched their eyes dilate once they saw her. She slid across the bench until she was next to her pack, setting her newly acquired care kit on top of it. Uncomfortable with the attention, she eventually bowed her head.

Because of that, she missed the look they shared. They had a whole conversation in that look, but before either of them could say a thing to her, Allie arrived at the booth with their food and no one said a word while they ate.

*****

Cam sat back and watched the young woman across from him. She’d inhaled her burger and fries and he’d given her a couple his wings in an effort to fill her up. He’d suppressed a laugh when she scraped the sauce off them. All she’d said when he asked her why was ‘no spicy.’ At least she knew what she liked and didn’t like. He glanced at Sheppard next to him. He hadn’t missed his friend sneaking her a few of the veggies off his own plate to hers. They seemed to agree she needed the food more than they did. They’d had a good heart-to-heart while she was in the bathroom. His fellow pilot had explained exactly what happened on that lonely road and why he’d stopped for her. He felt he’d left something out, but it didn’t take away from the overall story. And once he’d heard the whole thing, they’d discussed their next steps.

It hadn’t taken much for him to be willing to open his home to her. His apartment wasn’t much, but it was better than being on the streets. John even decided to give her the guest room, while he took the couch. They agreed to offer her a place for the weekend, but weren’t going to kick her out. She could leave when she felt the need to. Now came the tricky part.

“How was the food, Mariah?” The leader of SG-1 inquired of her.

“Good.” She muttered as she finished chewing her last bite. She wiped off her face when she was done and leaned against the back of the booth. “Full.”

Sheppard chuckled. “I’ve never seen someone so small eat so much.” He continued to laugh when she blushed and ducked her head.

“Since you’re finished.” Mitchell began. “I wanted to talk about what happens next. We’re willing to drop you wherever you like, but I wanted to see if you’d prefer to stay with us for the weekend. You can clean up, do some laundry and sleep in a real bed.”

Her head whipped up and she gave them a shocked look. “What?”

“We know you don’t really know us, but if at any point you feel uncomfortable, all you have to do is tell us.” John offered. “Want do you say?”

“I….” She bowed her head and played with her hands. It was clear to the two men she was confused and overwhelmed. She took two deep breaths and raised her head. Her gaze went from one man to the other. “I’d like… to stay.”

“Great.” The country boy rubbed his hands together. “Here’s what we’ll do. Shep is going to drive the car back to my place and straighten up the guest room for you to use. While he does that, you and I can go to the 24-hour drugstore that’s a block from here. We can get you anything you might need. They have clothes, food and regular drugstore stuff.”

“But I….” Mariah grabbed the pouch she’d come back from the bathroom with and set it on the table. She undid the zipper and pulled it open. “Allie… she….” She pointed to the contents.

The Colonels looked inside and smiled. “That was nice of her.” Cam replied. “But I’m sure there’s some other stuff you might like or need. If you want it and it’ll make things easier for you, we’ll buy it. Okay?” It took her a minute, but she eventually nodded. “Great. Let’s head out.” Sheppard had already taken care of the bill, which meant they were free to simply leave.

The young woman slid off the bench and began to pull her bag onto her back, but John stopped her. “I’ll take that with me, then you don’t need to worry about it in the store. Okay?” After a momentary pause, she let him take it and he snatched the pouch off the table, shoving it under his arm. He ushered her towards the exit.

Mitchell detoured towards the bar where Allie was standing. “What can I do for you, Cam?” Only a couple tables were still occupied and the bartender was already cleaning things up so they could close once the last customer left.

“Thanks for helping her out, Allie. I appreciate it.” He gave her a hug, which she returned.

“Of course. Take good care of her.” There was a twinkle in her eye when she added. “There’s something special about her.”

“Will do.” He waved at her as he headed outside, where Mariah and his fellow pilot were waiting for him. “See you back at the apartment, Shep.” The Atlantis military commander nodded, gave the young woman a poignant look, then turned away, heading to where he parked the Mustang. With his friend gone, Cam took over guiding Mariah. “It’s this way.” They started down the sidewalk. The neighborhood was quiet, only a few cars whizzed by them.

It was a silent walk; one person didn’t know what to say and the other didn’t want to cause any more unease. They crossed the street and found themselves outside the drugstore. They passed through the automatic doors and Mitchell got a cart. He wasn’t sure what or how much she was going to grab and wanted to be prepared. They started in aisle 1 and systematically made their way through the whole store. As they passed items, they each picked up things and tossed them in. Mariah occasionally plucked items out of the cart and put them back. Cam kept smiling the whole time. It made him happy when he looked away to hear her adding things to the pile. He had meant it when he said she could get anything she wanted, plus his fellow Colonel had given him his credit card and told him there was no limit. He always forgot John came from a wealthy background, but it wasn’t common knowledge and he knew better than to share that information with anyone they worked with.

When they got through the last aisle, the leader of SG-1 pointed them in the direction of the cashier. “Got everything?” He asked as he studied all the items in the cart. He could see clothes, toiletries and even a few snacks. She nodded at him. “Great. All we need to do now is check out.”

He let her take the initiative to load everything onto the conveyor belt, while he chatted with the cashier who was ringing everything up. He was a regular at the drugstore and knew most of the staff, since it was so close to his place and between it and his favorite bar. He would pop in on the way home to get something he knew he needed, but didn’t want to go elsewhere to purchase. It wasn’t long before the total was on the screen, then he paid and they carried their bounty out the door.

“Follow me.” He led her away from the bar. It was only a couple more blocks to his apartment complex. It was made up of four identical buildings surrounding a large green area. They occasionally had block parties, barbecues or flag football games there. A lot of great people lived near him. Sheppard was waiting outside the building when they finally got there and he held open the door for them.

“Any problems?” John asked as he took Mariah’s bags from her and brought up the rear. The apartment was on the third floor of the four-story building. They went up the stairs together.

“Not a one.” Mitchell replied. When he reached the right landing, he headed down the hall. He juggled the bags in his hands and unlocked his door. “Home, sweet home.” He declared. He went right in and dropped the bags on the kitchen table. He turned around and grinned at his guest. “It’s not much, but it’s comfortable. If you can’t find something, just ask. Let me give you a quick tour.” The living room and kitchen were facing each other with the foyer in the middle. Across from the front door was a hallway with four doors off it. They went to the laundry/linen closet, the guest bathroom, the master bedroom with its own attached bath and the guest bedroom which was their last stop.

The two men watched as Mariah wandered around the room. Her pack was leaning against the queen-sized bed and there was a window that looked at one of the other apartment buildings and the narrow green space between them. There was a simple dresser and two matching side tables. The final items in the room, besides the door to a small walk-in closet, were a comfy chair by the window and a matching footstool. The young woman turned and smiled. “Thank you.”

“We’re happy we can help you, Mariah.” The Atlantis military commander told her. He pointed at the dresser. “My stuff is in bottom drawer and there are a couple things in the closet. Feel free to use the rest of the space.” He took a step closer. He awkwardly shifted from foot to foot. “I want you to come to me if you have any issues, okay?” She nodded. “Good.” He dropped the bags he was still carrying on the bed. “I’ll grab the rest.” He hurried out of the room.

While they were having their short conversation, Mitchell had been on the phone, though no one had heard it ring. After disconnecting, he spoke loudly enough that both his guests could hear him. “Carter needs me to swing by. I’ll be back after a bit.” He paused when Mariah stepped towards him. “Make yourself at home. Maybe take a hot shower. Both bathrooms have great water pressure.” He chuckled when he saw the excitement in her eyes. “I won’t be long.” Before he could be distracted again, he jogged down the hall and out the front door. He needed to speak with his team.

*****

Mariah locked the door to the bathroom and set the plastic bag full of toiletries on the closed toilet lid. She placed the clean clothes she had over her arm on the counter next to the sink and took a deep breath. She felt like she was in the middle of a fever dream. She couldn’t believe any of what happened to her over the last few hours. It seemed almost too good to be true; a ride, a meal, a place to stay, and access to new clothes and anything she could think to ask for. She tried her best to not get overwhelmed and focused on what she’d done since Cam suddenly left to go into work.

After Sheppard had brought her the rest of the bags, he’d left her alone to get settled. She went through all her new stuff, sorting it into piles on the bed, then she dumped the contents of her pack on the floor. Her personal property was easier to go through and figure out what to do with. She had things she wanted to keep, which she repacked into her bag, clothes she wanted to wash, which she added her canvas coat to and finally things she wanted to pitch, which she stuffed into some of the empty plastic bags. There were a few items on her person she also wanted to be rid of, but to do that, she needed to clean up. Taking the snack items to the kitchen, she told John she was going to shower, but not in so many words. It had really only been one word, ‘shower,’ and she pointed at herself. He got the message. Then she retreated to her current location.

It only took her a couple seconds to strip down to her underwear, separating her new shirt from the jeans she never wanted to see again. She reached into the shower/tub combo and turned on the water, allowing it to warm up. While it did, she got busy with something else she needed to do.

Unbeknownst to Mariah, there was someone else in the bathroom. A semi-translucent figure was leaning in the corner by the door with his eyes locked on her. He was obviously male based on his general shape and what could be seen of his clothes. He was blurry; there one second and gone the next. He spoke aloud, but she couldn’t hear him.

*How the mighty have fallen.* 

His voice had a slight accent and he pushed away from the wall and stepped closer.

*Once an all-powerful, almost god-like creature and now… you’re afraid of your own shadow.*

He shifted to see her profile. She continued what she was doing, unaware of his presence.

*But this is what you asked for. Well… not exactly, but it’s close enough. I had a devil of a time getting you here.*

He chuckled.

*Ignore the pun.*

He was clearly amused and leaned a little closer to her.

*You’re finally safe. I promise. You’ve stumbled upon some pretty awesome people. They’ll be able to handle anything you dish out and through it all, will be in your corner. If you can’t take my word for it, whose can you? See ya around, Mariah.*

He reached out and touched her shoulder, before fading away.

Mariah swung around, looking for something in the bathroom, and found nothing. She shook her head and glanced up to see the mirror fogged over. She was finished with what she’d been doing; now it was time to get clean. After throwing her undergarments on top of her jeans, she grabbed a few of her toiletries and stepped into the shower. A contented sigh fell from her lips and a single thought flittered through her head. Amazing.

*****

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard was confused… and frustrated… with a little bit of happiness thrown in to keep things interesting. He sat back on Mitchell’s couch and sighed. He could now confirm that the sense of urgency to get back to Colorado Springs was due to Mariah. As soon as he left the young woman with his friend to drive back to the apartment, he’d felt drawn in their direction. It was like she was connected to him and when they were apart, something tugged on his very soul, telling him where he needed to go to find her again. He was going to have to talk to Carson about it and the fact he could sense she was a natural ATA gene carrier. While he wasn’t good with emotions, he currently felt a jumble of them. He didn’t even know where to start to untangle them. The only one he could clear identify was happiness. He was overjoyed that Mariah had agreed to come stay with him and Cam. Well, actually, stay at Cam’s place with him. She would be safe here while he figured out everything else, but he knew he wanted her to stick around.

The sound of the bathroom door opening had him sitting up. He heard the young woman moving down the hall and into the guest bedroom. After just a few minutes, soft footfall headed back towards him. He jumped to his feet and turned, cutting off a gasp when he saw her. Mariah was dressed in a loose pair of track pants and a generic t-shirt. Her hair was wet and pulled back in a tight braid. But on top of all that she was smiling. He thought she looked radiant.

“Feel better?”

She nodded at him, then he noticed the bags in her hands.

“What have you got there?”

“Trash.” She whispered.

“Oh, let me take it down to the chute. Is that everything?” He asked as he came around the couch and carefully took the bags from her. His skin tingled whenever it touched hers. He took a step back and waited for her to answer.

He got another nod.

“Great. Give me a minute.” Without hesitation, he hurried out of the apartment and down the hall. He was back in record time, only to discover Mariah standing in front of the laundry closet with a pile of clothes at her feet. “Do you need help?”

Yet another nod.

“It’s a little confusing. I had trouble with it when Cam first offered me a place to stay before I head back to my base.” He began to turn dials and hit buttons. He pointed at the pile. “Just one load?”

“Yes.”

John grinned. She’d responded instead of nodding. He was making progress. “Dump them in and we’ll get this puppy going.” He let her load the machine and pour in some soap, then shut the lid and pushed the start button. Water began to fill the drum. When he turned towards her, he noticed her rubbing her stomach in a circular motion. “You okay?”

“Full.”

“I bet. You ate enough for three people.” She smiled and shrugged. He chuckled. “Take a seat on the sofa, while I see if Shaft has an antacid.” He skirted around her, but froze when she spoke up again.

“Why… Shaft?” Her head was quirked as she stared at him.

“Oh… it’s his callsign. He’s Shaft. I’m Shep. We’re both pilots and have a tendency to use each other’s callsigns instead of actual names. You must have been confused.” He hadn’t really thought about it until now.

Mariah shrugged. “Kinda… but figured… it out”

Sheppard laughed. “Go sit down. I’ll only be a second.” He trotted down the hall into the bathroom. He started with the cabinet under the sink. Not finding anything, he moved on to the medicine cabinet. In his haste, he knocked something off the counter into the trashcan. He grabbed the bottle of Tums, shut the cabinet, then went to fish the lost item out of the trash. He found the soap dispenser, along with something else. Putting the soap back in its spot, he walked slowly out of the bathroom, an item in each hand. When he reached the living room, he asked. “Are you hurt?” He was holding a dirty bandage with brown, yellow and bright red stains on it.

The young woman swung around on the couch and gasped when she saw what he had in his hand. “I… um… it’s… nothing.”

“Let me be the judge of that.” He put the bandage and the Tums on the kitchen table and rounded the sofa, squatting down in front of Mariah. “Show me.” He kept his voice soft and gentle.

There was fear in her eyes as she slowly lifted the right side of her shirt up, where a large waterproof bandage was. Without asking, the Colonel slowly pealed the covering back and took in her injury.

“Shit.” The wound was ugly and festering. He wanted to prod the edges to see how bad it really was, but didn’t want to hurt her. “We need to take you to the hospital.”

“No… please.” Her eyes were wild and frantic.

“Whoa, calm down.” He replaced the bandage and set his hands on her thighs, preventing her from running away. Her flight instinct was high; he recognized the signs. “No hospital, but you need a doctor. I….” A thought struck him. It was late and Beckett was not going to be happy with him; however, he didn’t have a choice. “I have a friend, someone I’ve been working with for the last year. He’s the chief medical officer at our base. Could I ask him to come look at it?”

“Okay.” She bowed her head.

“I’m not mad or angry with you, Mariah. I want to help you, but I can’t do that if you don’t talk to me or tell me things like you’re hurt. Where did you even get that new bandage from?” Her head rose.

“When Cam… wasn’t looking… at the store.”

Sheppard smiled. She was tricky and would keep them on their toes. “I’ll let you be the one to tell him what you did when he wasn’t looking.” With a shake of his head and a wry smile, he pulled out his phone and quickly found the physician’s number. He dialed and held it to his ear. It rang twice, then connected. “Hey, Carson.” He held the phone away from his head for a second. The Scotsman was yelling at him. Eventually, it subsided and he spoke again. “I’m sorry for waking you, but you gotta come to Cam’s place, pronto. I have a friend who’s been hurt. I really need you to take a look.” He nodded at the response he was getting. “I’ll text you the address now. See you shortly.” He hung up, opened the text app and typed for a minute. When he looked back up, he gave Mariah an encouraging smile. “If you didn’t already figure it out, he’s coming. Do you need anything while we wait?”

She shook her head, no.

John pushed himself to his feet and went to go deal with the old bandage, then came back with the bottle of Tums. He gave her a couple, set the bottle on the coffee table and plopped down next to her. They sat in silence. After a couple of minutes, the young woman lifted her hand and grabbed his. He shifted the connection until their fingers were interlaced. He wasn’t big on touching other people, but the fact that she’d initiated contact with him, made him smile. It wasn’t long before there was a knock on the door. Reluctantly letting her go, he got up and answered it.

“You should be eternally grateful, lad, that I like you or I never would’ve agreed to come. Now where is my patient?” The new arrival strode into the apartment, medical bag in hand, searched around and spotted Mariah on the couch, looking at him with wide eyes. His expression immediately softened. “Well, hello, lass.” He hurried around the sofa and perched himself on the edge of the coffee table across from her. “What’s your name?”

“Mariah.” She said softly.

“Aye, a lovely name for a lovely lady. I’m Dr. Carson Beckett. What seems to be the problem?”

She lifted her shirt for him, but her focus had shifted from the doctor to the Colonel, as he came over and sat back down next to her. She hissed when Carson pulled the bandage off.

“I’m sorry, lass.” He poked the wound. “This is quite serious.” He looked at his colleague. “Is there somewhere private I can examine her? I need to treat this and see if she has any other injuries.”

“Her room’s down the hall on the right. I can show you.” Sheppard started to stand, but the CMO waved him off.

“I can find it.” He stood and helped Mariah to her feet. “Come along, lass. We’ll have you right as rain in no time.” He ushered her to the hall and they disappeared from view. A minute later, the soft sound of the door clicking shut echoed through the apartment.

Growling to himself, the Atlantic military commander flopped back on the couch. He wanted to know what was going on, but Mariah deserved her privacy. He’d have to wait for Beckett to report back. He also needed to explain the young woman’s ‘situation’ to his friend. He was probably wondering how she came to be there with a wound that was several days old; there was no other way to explain the severity of the infection. It was hard for him to picture her hurt and alone, without anywhere to turn. What would’ve happened to her if he hadn’t found her? He shuddered at the mere thought.

Time passed slowly, until the front door opened and Mitchell walked in, dropping his keys in the bowl on the foyer table. He grinned at his fellow Colonel. “Where’s Mariah?” Obviously, he expected his friend to be hovering protectively around her. He hadn’t missed how the other man was treating his newest house guest.

“Well, you see….” John explained what happened after his friend left. He could see similar emotions to what he was feeling pass over the other man’s face. They sat on the couch together.

“Jesus, that poor girl. I can’t begin to imagine what she’s experienced over the last five years. Can you?” The leader of SG-1 asked.

“No, and I don’t want to. She’s here now and she’s safe. Carson will get her on the road to recovery.”

“You’re probably right. I just met with my team and told them about her. I didn’t want them to be surprised when they came over tomorrow to watch the game and found her here.”

“How’d they take it?” Sheppard was genuinely interested. He was hoping to introduce her to Rodney and Elizabeth, if there was time before they returned to Pegasus, an event he now dreaded, since it meant leaving Mariah behind. It was strange how attached he already was.

“Rather well. I think they’re curious, to be honest.” Cam shrugged. “I was when you showed up with her at the bar. But they’re good people and will want to help her, too. Actually, Carter’s going to do just that tomorrow morning, before everyone else shows up to watch the game.”

“What do you-?” The Atlantis military commander stopped speaking abruptly, when he heard a door open and heavy steps came down the hall. The two men got to their feet and Carson emerged, coming over to stand beside them. “Is she going to be okay?”

“I believe we caught the infection in time. I gave her a large dose of antibiotics and she’s sedated. I didn’t want to, but the local wasn’t helping and she was in pain while I tried to treat her. I had no choice.” The physician wiped a hand down his face and dropped into the chair beside the sofa. The Colonels resumed their seats. “Which one of you is going to explain where the lass came from? She isn’t part of the Program. If she was, you’d have taken her to the Mountain.” He stared at them expectantly.

The pilots shared a look, then began the story, going back and forth until they got to Beckett’s arrival. John concluded by saying. “I really wanted to take her to the hospital, but she was terrified.”

“Aye, that would've been best, but I understand why she didn’t want to go.”

“What do you mean, doc?” Mitchell could sense he wasn’t referring simply to her circumstances.

“She’s been hurt before. I found several scars, some older, some newer.” The Scotsman shared. He half-heartedly chuckled when he saw shock on their faces. Mariah was keeping secrets. He knew he was probably breaking her confidence by sharing what he found with the two men, but they had taken responsibility for her and needed to be prepared if any other issues came up. “She has two bullet wound scars, one of which was a through-and-through, and a few other knife wounds, but none looked like they were as bad as her current one.”

“She was stabbed?” Sheppard asked. He hadn’t taken too close a look at her injury. She was hurt and needed help, that was all he had focused on.

“Aye, about 5 days to a week ago. She mumbled something about trying to clean it, but there was only so much she could do without access to proper supplies.” Carson explained.

“Anything else?” The leader of SG-1 wanted to know everything he could, since she was staying with him. 

“Not that I could detect, other than a lovely tattoo on her right shoulder. She shrugged at me when I asked her about it.” The doctor sighed. “I’d really like to take her to the SGC infirmary so I can do a more thorough examination, but I did take some blood. I’ll get it tested tomorrow.”

“Could you do the full SGC panel on it?” John inquired. The Atlantis CMO narrowed his eyes and he added. “Please?”

“Shouldn’t be a problem.” The physician got to his feet. “I’m off to get a few hours’ sleep. I’ll call you when I have the results. Let the lass sleep as long as she likes. She deserves it.” He nodded at the two men and let himself out.

The Colonels shared a look, stood and started their nighttime routines. Sleep was going to be hard to come by as their thoughts swirled around the young woman sleeping down the hall in the guest bedroom.

*****

Sheppard stared out the glass sliding doors that went to a small balcony off the living room. He was laying in the dark on Mitchell’s couch, a blanket covering him, and simply couldn’t fall sleep. Nothing he tried was working. Every time he started to nod off, another terrible image popped into his head; Mariah lying in a ditch after being struck by a car along that deserted road he found her on; Mariah bleeding out in some alley a week before he met her from the stab wound she sustained; Mariah dying instantly when a bullet hit a major organ and never even making it to Colorado where he could find her. Each scenario was worse than the next. He’d stopped himself a dozen times from getting up and going to check on her. He’d already done that when he grabbed his sleep clothes from the guest room. She looked peaceful as she slumbered in the overly large bed, thanks to Carson’s sedative. Cam made sure he left her alone and said good night to him in the hall outside the main bedroom, watching him retreat to the living room and the sofa on which he was now prone.

He froze the second he heard a door open and waited as someone walked down the hall in his direction. It could’ve been Cam going to get something from the kitchen or Mariah heading to the bathroom. But whoever it was continued into the living room, where he was, and stopped in front of the sliding doors. The moonlight illuminated their figure and it wasn’t Mitchell. He watched the young woman quietly open the door and slip out onto the balcony, shutting it behind her, then she curled up in the corner by the door, her head resting against the glass. She shifted for a few minutes, but finally went still.

John knew she should be resting in bed, not outside in the cool evening air, but he couldn’t convince himself to get up, go outside and disturb her. She looked comfortable and… was in his direct line of sight. Taking several deep breaths, he gazed at her and finally fell into a restful sleep.

Chapter Text

Mariah sat on the edge of the coffee table, watching Sheppard sleep. He looked so peaceful and she was loathe to wake him unnecessarily. She was dressed in the same track pants from the day before and one of her newly acquired sport bras. In her lap was a shirt, one of John’s. It was much too large for her, but she really wanted to wear it. However, she knew it was best to ask for permission before she took it. She didn’t want to anger either of the two men who had done so much for her. Now she had to wait for its owner to wake up.

The night before, after her exam by the kind, yet talkative doctor, she’d slept for a few hours. It was a dreamless sleep, for which she was eternally grateful, but all the same, she awoke with a start, confused as to where she was. Then the memories came back to her and she found it a little hard to breathe. She’d noticed during her tour of the apartment the two balconies it had, one in Cam’s room and the other off the living room. Since she didn’t want to leave the apartment and potentially cause a panic, she thought they’d be the best place for her to catch her breath and not feel shut in. As quietly as she could, she’d tiptoed down the hall, passed Sheppard on the couch, and slipped outside. She’d immediately felt better. She picked a spot in the corner to sit and had only meant to stay a few minutes, but somehow, she’d fallen asleep. The warmth of the rising sun had awoken her and gave her ample time to get back inside before anyone noticed her change in location. She cleaned up for the second time in 24 hours in the guest bath, and then wrapped in a towel, retreated to her temporary bedroom to select her clothes for the day. She didn’t have a lot of options to pick from. That’s when she’d opened the drawer John had said was his and found the shirt she now held. According to the clock in the kitchen, it was almost 8am. She was hopefully he’d wake soon.

She perked up when the sleeping form began to stir and smiled when his eyes open. Her lips widened into a grin and she suppressed a laugh when he recoiled from her, cursing.

“Shit… you scared the crap out of me, Mariah.” His eyes scanned her, noticing the round scar in her left shoulder, the linear one across the swell of her right breast and how her ribs poked out slightly from her torso. He sat up, letting his blanket pool around his waist, and yawned.

“Sorry.” She continued to smile in his direction and held up the shirt.

“It’s okay.” He studied the garment she was holding up. “That’s mine.” She pulled it back and held it to her chest. “Sure, you can wear it, but it’s going to be too big.”

Without a word, she pulled it on. She was swimming in it. All the same, she wrapped her arms around herself, a contented look on her face.

“Is Shaft up, yet?” He sat back and took her in. She looked like a completely different person from whom he first met yesterday.

“Nope.” She shook her head to emphasize her point.

John got to his feet. “Let me grab some clothes, get cleaned up and I’ll make us some breakfast. Sound good?”

The young woman nodded at him.

“Give me a few.” And with that, he headed down the hall.

Knowing it would take him more than a few minutes and after putting her laundry from the night before into the dryer, she took herself into the kitchen and began to poke around. She started with the fridge where she pulled out cheese, eggs, butter, a loaf of bread and bacon, placing them on the counter. Then she went through the cabinets, locating a large bowl and a couple of pans. She got the toaster, which was already out, plugged in and dropped a slice of bread into each slot to be pushed down once the two men emerged. She put strips of bacon into one of the pans and fired up the burner. While it began to cook, she cracked eggs into the bowl, added salt and pepper and started to whisk up the contents. Sheppard reappeared when she was flipping the bacon over.

“I see you’re ahead of me.” He declared, taking in what she had been up to since he’d be gone. “And you look like you know what you’re doing. Where do you want me?” He threw a smile in her direction and waited for an answer.

“Table.” She pointed at it.

“You want me to set it?”

She nodded and added. “Then bacon.”

“Copy.” He got to work finding plates, silverware, napkins and glasses. He even poured orange juice out for each of them, then went to man the pan of bacon. He soon took the bacon off the burner and deposited a couple of slices onto each of the plates.

Mariah used the already going burner to warm up the other pan, where she’d placed a large pat of butter. When it began to melt, she emptied the bowl of eggs into it and began to shift them around.

Hearing movement from the hall, John pushed down the bread and pulled a couple of mugs out of the cabinet to pour the already brewed coffee into. Gotta love a built-in timer. “You want some?” He asked the young woman. She shook her head, no.

Cam entered the kitchen to see Mariah scraping eggs on to each plate and grinned. “This is a nice way to wake up on a Saturday morning, with breakfast all ready to eat. Need me to do anything?” He looked between his two guests.

“Sit. Eat.” The young woman ordered, then made sure he did. She put the dirty pan in the sink and sprinkled cheese over the eggs. Sheppard put a slice of toast on two of the plates, then pressed two more slices down into the toaster. Mariah sat down at the plate without the coffee and waited.

The Atlantis military commander took the hint and slid into seat in front of the last plate. “You cooked it. Take the first bite.” As soon as Mariah began to eat, the two men joined her. It was a great start to their first full day together.

*****

Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter was smiling when she reached the third-floor landing and started down the hall to her teammate’s door. She was honored that her team leader had asked for her assistance with his unexpected houseguest. She knew the rest of her team was a little shocked Mitchell had taken in a homeless woman, but she wanted to keep an open mind until she had a chance to meet her and got to know a little about her. She tried her best not to judge, not until she had all the facts. She was a scientist at the end of the day and facts were her lifeblood. She knocked on the front door and stepped back.

After a few moments, the door swung open and the smiling face of Cam greeted her. “Sam, you’re right on time. Come on in.”

“I try my best to be punctual and thanks.” She walked inside and scanned the living space. She and the rest of SG-1 had been there a few times for team movie nights and to hang out on the weekend. She was familiar with the apartment. She smiled at the person she saw on the sofa. “Nice to see you, John.”

“Good to see you, too.” He got to his feet and the two Colonels shook hands.

Continuing her perusal on the apartment, she saw a woman standing at the sink, washing dishes and seemingly oblivious to her arrival. But she could tell from the tilt of her head she was listening to their conversation. “Is this…?” She gestured into the kitchen.

“Yeah, let me introduce you.” Sheppard ushered her to her right. They stopped behind the young woman. “Mariah? There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

Wiping her hands on a towel, the woman at the sink turned and scanned Carter, sizing her up in only few seconds. She stepped tentatively forward. “Hello.” She whispered.

“Hi, Mariah. I’m Sam Carter. I work with Cam and John. It’s great to meet you.” The scientist held out her hand in greeting.

It took a moment, but Mariah eventually took the offered hand and lightly shook it, before quickly withdrawing her hand and clasping it with her other.

By that time, Mitchell had joined them in the kitchen and spoke up. “I asked Sam if she’d be willing to take you shopping today. Get you some better clothes than what we found at the drugstore.” Mariah whipped her head around and stared at him.

“You’ve done… so much. I… can’t.” She murmured.

“I’m happy to help, Mariah. And it’s my treat.” Carter interjected. “Cam is giving you a place to stay and John already got you a bunch of stuff. I wanna do my part to help you get back on your feet.”

Seeing that she was becoming overwhelmed, Sheppard stepped in front of Mariah and blocked the others from view. He wanted her to focus on him. He dropped his voice in an attempt to keep what he said private, but he knew his fellow Colonels would probably still hear him. “Like I’ve already told you, we want to help. But if this is too much….” He reached towards her, almost like he was going to cup her cheek, but he simply placed his hand on her shoulder.

“Okay.” She nodded and he moved away from her, giving her space.

“Great. Are you ready to go now?” Sam asked, ignoring the emotional scene she just witnessed.

“Looks like she’s good to go except for shoes.” Mitchell offered, only to see the young woman make a face. “What’s wrong?”

“My boots… are… yuck.” The three Colonels laughed at the disgusted look on her face.

“A shoe store can be our first stop. Get you some sneakers, new boots and maybe a few other things.” Carter suggested. Mariah nodded at her and hurried out of the kitchen and down the hall. She looked at the two men who remained with her in the kitchen. “She’s nothing like you described.”

“A shower and some clean clothes made all the difference. She looked just like I told you when I saw her before meeting up with you, T and Jackson.” The leader of SG-1 replied. “Are you sure about paying for everything? Clothes are expensive.”

“I’m positive, Cam. I don’t spend much, plus with our hazard pay and all the overtime, I’ve got money to spare.” The two men began to argue, but she cut them off. “But if it gets to be too much, I’ll let you know. I’m actually looking forward to this. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a shopping spree.”

“If she needs anything, please call Shaft or me. I promised her we’d keep her safe.” Sheppard was hesitant to allow the young woman to be away from him, but it would be a good test of the weird connection he felt with her.

Sam put a hand on the Atlantis military commander’s arm and did her best to ignore the way he shifted uncomfortably. She knew he didn’t like to be touched, but wanted him to pay attention to what she said to him. “We’ll be fine. Besides, I’m pretty sure, she and I are going to have a blast.”

*****

“How was it?” John asked as he helped Mariah carry shopping bags down the hall to the guest room.

“Lots of… people.”

“But you did okay?” He’d been worried about them going to the mall on a Saturday during the summer. It was a prime place for families to hang out together with kids off school, or people to run errands over the weekend when they weren’t at work. Personally, he’d never go to the mall on the weekend, but there were things there she couldn’t purchase at a drugstore.

She nodded. “Sam… stayed… close.”

“Great to hear.” He dropped the last load of bags on the neatly-made bed. “Did you get everything you needed?” There were a ton of bags, but when you have nothing, it probably wasn’t nearly enough.

“For now.” She perched herself on the edge of the mattress and studied him. He noticed she did that a lot, almost like she was gauging people and determining if they were worth her time. He could only hope he passed muster.

Sheppard sat down on the floor in front of her. She was still wearing his shirt, even though she’d probably bought things that would fit her better, but he was happy to see her nasty boots were replaced by a sleek pair of blue sneakers. “I like your kicks.” She smiled at his comment. “You know, Cam is happy to have you stay here as long as you like.” He hadn’t missed her ‘for now’ response. He wanted to be clearer about what her options were.

“Don’t… like to… impose.”

“It’s not an imposition and that’s a fact. You can stay, keep him company and watch the place when he goes away on longer miss… military exercises.” He could see the uncertainty in her eyes. “Will you think about it?”

Mariah nodded.

“Good.”

“What about… you?” She asked after a couple minutes of them studying each other.

He sighed. He’d been hoping to hold off on having this conversation until she was a bit more settled. “My base in overseas, a long way from here. Me and a few others only came back to speak to the brass, resupply and recruit some additional bodies. The plan is for me to leave in a couple of weeks.”

Her eyes grew moist. He didn’t want to see her cry, but he was happy to see she as was attached to him as he was growing to her, after less than a day together.

“Hey, none of that.” He sat forward and placed a hand on her knee, comforting her as best as he could. He seemed to keep initiating contact with her and didn’t quite understand why. He was horrible with his own emotion, but was even worse with other people’s, especially when they cried. It was different with her for some unknown reason. “We can stay in touch while I’m away. I’m not much of a writer, but we could exchange videos. Cam will make sure they get to me.”

She sniffled and nodded again. “I’d like… that.”

“Me, too. Plus, we have the next two weeks to hang out and get to know each other better. Maybe we can do something fun, like….” He thought for a minute. “Have you ever been on a Ferris wheel?”

Mariah shrugged. She seemed unsure.

“I’ll ask around and find one to take you on. They’re the best and one of my favorite things to do besides fly. But I doubt command would let me take you up in a fighter jet or helicopter. Ferris wheels are the next best thing in my opinion.”

He was elated to see her smiling now. She liked the idea.

John gestured at the mess of bags on the bed. “Do you need some help putting everything away?”

“I can… do it. But… thanks.”

“I take it you didn’t talk much while you were on the streets.” He spoke in reference to her stilted speech and the tendency she had to use non-verbal cues. He didn’t mind how she communicated. He wasn’t a big talker either.

“Stuck… to myself. Have to… remember… all the… sounds to make… and think about… what I want… to say.”

He nodded. “Practice makes perfect. You’ll get there. Well, I’ll leave you to it. I’ll be in the living room if you change your mind about wanting some help.” He got to his feet and went towards the door. He paused in the threshold. “I’d love to see you in some of your new clothes.” She blushed and he left with a smile on his face, closing the door behind him.

Going out into the living room, Sheppard joined Cam on the couch and they watched the midday news broadcast together. Twenty minutes went by.

“When’s your team coming by?” The Atlantic military commander asked, breaking the silence.

“Between 2 and 3. We’ll probably watch a movie and eat the snacks I order before the game starts. Why do you ask?”

“Just kinda hungry. Was thinking about lunch.”

“I can order some subs when I call in the food order for this afternoon.” Mitchell checked his watch. “I probably should do that now to give them enough time. It’s just down the street.” He got to his feet and picked up the take-out menu from the kitchen table. “Do you think Mariah wants anything?”

“After all the food she ate last night and the breakfast she fixed this morning, I have no idea. I wouldn’t even want to look at food if I was her.” Sheppard got up and started for the hall to go ask the young woman himself, but he needn’t have bother. Mariah appeared before he even went two feet. He laughed as soon as he saw her. “That’s not what I meant.”

She shrugged at him and hugged the shirt she was wearing close. She was in a new pair of pants, but another one of John’s shirts. She went over to the leader of SG-1 and asked. “Food?” He handed her the menu and smiled.

John shook his head and muttered. “At this rate, I’m not going to have any clean clothes of my own to wear.” He walked over to see for himself what their options were for lunch.

*****

“Perfect timing, Jackson.” Cam declared as he opened the door to his apartment for his two teammates, stepping back to let them come in. The archeologist and Teal’c entered with nods in greeting to their host.

“Why’s that?” Daniel asked his team leader as he looked around the living room and kitchen. They were empty.

“Carter called Shep and I to the Mountain and we need someone to stay with Mariah.” He’d spoken to his team last night about the young woman after she came home with him and John. It was when he’d asked Sam to take her shopping and explained about his new houseguest. They shouldn’t be surprised he would want someone to look after her while he and his fellow pilot went out.

“She does not need the whole team?” The Jaffa inquired with an arched eyebrow.

“Not this time, T. If it’s anything important, I’ll let you know.” The Colonel hurried down the hall, shouting. “Let’s go, Sheppard.” His voice and another were heard down the hall, but not the precise words.

Dr. Jackson sat down at the kitchen table with a sigh, while his teammate took a seat on the couch and turned on the TV. They were supposed to be there for a team get-together, not to babysit. While his team considered him a great humanitarian, his time in the foster care system had taught him to be wary of certain people, but especially those down on their luck. They were the ones who’d stab you in the back, or rat you out to save themselves or get ahead. He wasn’t going to be as trusting as his team leader had been thus far with the stranger he let into his home, not until he got to know more about her. He sat up straighter when he heard people coming down the hall.

The two Colonels emerged into the living area and behind them was the young woman in question. She was dressed in a pair of black lounge pants and a long-sleeve Air Force shirt that was much too big for her. She froze at the start of the hall, her eyes darting between the two new people in the apartment.

“Mariah, this is Dr. Daniel Jackson and Teal’c. They’re on my team and are going to stay with you until Shep and I get back.” The leader of SG-1 explained to her. Seeing her uncertainty, he put his hands on her shoulders and gave her a warm smile. “You can trust them. They’ll keep you safe.”

“Okay.” She replied with a weak smile of her own and he let her go. One of her hands brushed John’s arm before he and his fellow pilot strode out the front door and it shut behind them.

“It is a great pleasure to meet you, Mariah.” Teal’c was on his feet and bowed his head to her. She nodded at him and he retook his place on the couch, his focus back on the television, where some action movie was playing.

Her gaze shifted to Daniel. He was already studying her and she began to wring her hands. She was scanning him and their eyes locked. A flicker of something passed through hers and they stared at each other for a few minutes, then Mariah suddenly turned and scampered back down the hall, disappearing into the guest bedroom and closing the door softly behind her.

Jackson sighed. He knew he could’ve been a little more welcoming, said hello or smiled at her, but he was hesitant to let a stranger into their circle, especially under these circumstances. Before he could go too far down that rabbit hole, he sighed and pushed those thoughts away. Some time passed and his focus moved to the movie playing in the living room, then he heard the door open and Mariah reemerged. She was carrying a bag in one hand and it seemed to be only partially full. She sat down across from him at the table and placed the bag beside her on the floor. She set both her hands on the table and clenched them together, her focus on them. He turned to face her and waited for her to speak up, which she did after a couple of minutes.

“I… I haven’t… talked much the last… five years. Bear with me.” She glanced up at him and he did his best to soften his expression.

“You’re doing fine.”

“Do you… know the most… precious commodity… on the streets?” She asked, doing her best not to whisper.

“Food or money?” Even with the frequent pauses, he could tell she was well-spoken, educated.

She chuckled. “You’d think that… but no.” She paused and explained. “It’s a way… to prove… who you are.” She stopped speaking, lifted a hand and slipped it under the collar of her shirt. She pulled out a small plastic rectangle, dropped it on the table, then slid it over to him.

Once she withdrew her hand, he picked the item up and looked at it. It was a California Driver’s License, expired, with her picture and name on it, ‘Mariah Gray.’ There was also her hair color, height, weight, birthday and an address somewhere in Palo Alto. “Why are you giving this to me?” He shifted his eyes from the ID to her face.

“I can see… you’re skeptical. I’d be, too. That.” She pointed at her license. “Is my most… prized possession. More valuable… than anything… I have. Now you can… look… into me.”

“You don’t need to-.”

“But I do.” She sighed. “I didn’t ask… for help. John… and Cam… gave it to me. I’m thankful. I’d like… to stay, but… I don’t… want to… cause trouble.”

“You’re not. I’m sorry.” He closed his eyes and took a couple deep breaths. He wasn’t being fair and had made her feel like she’d done something wrong. He hated that.

“It’s okay.” She gave him a smile, a real one. The two people in the kitchen noticed the volume of the TV lessen, but didn’t comment. It was obvious Teal’c was listening to their conversation. “I was in college… five years ago… at Stanford.”

“Impressive.”

“Thanks. A double major… with a full… course load.” She looked away. The memories seemed to be painful. “I’d finished… my sophomore year, when….” She trailed off and didn’t continue.

“When what?” The archeologist prompted.

“I had… some type of… mental health episode.” She turned back to face him and her shoulders slumped. “I snapped. The walls… they felt like… they were closing in…. I couldn’t breathe…. I had to… get away.”

“That’s when you started living on the streets?”

She nodded. “I grabbed… whatever I could… stuffed it in my bag.” She patted the pack beside her. “And fled. My memories… from before… are spotty. I remember… college, mostly…. A little bit… of high school. But my childhood… my parents… there’s nothing.” A single tear trickled down her cheek.

“I’m so sorry.” Jackson reached across the table and offered her his hand. She placed one of hers in his and he gave it a squeeze. He might be an orphan, but at least he remembered his parents. He’d misjudged her and would fix things between them. They sat like that for a few minutes. She pulled away first and he let her. She wiped her wet face, then twisted in her seat, bending down to open her bag. After a moment, she pulled something out and offered it to him. It was an old laptop. He took it and asked. “What’s this?”

“It’s mine… from college. I used to… turn it on and… look through it. But… I lost… the power cable…. It died… a while ago.” She shrugged.

“Why are you giving it to me?” He set it on the table beside him to deal with later. He placed her ID on top of it.

“I thought… you or Sam… could… get it working. Plus… it’ll give you… more to go on… about me.” She offered.

“I don’t understand why you’re telling me all this. Not that I mind, but…. Do Cam or Colonel Sheppard know any of this?” She shook her head, no. “Then I ask again, why? Why me?”

Mariah took a minute, thinking the question over. “The best way… to deal… with skepticism… is with… the truth… and evidence.” There was something she wasn’t saying. He could tell.

“There’s more to it than that, isn’t there? She nodded. “So?”

“I feel… I can… trust you.” Her words were more uncertain than anything else she said, like they weren’t what she wanted to say. He made sure she could see the disbelief on his face. She gave a heavy sigh and her voice dropped to a whisper. “You feel… warm… and safe.”

“I….” He wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He decided to gather more information. “Does anyone else feel like that?”

“John.”

“What about Cam? Sam? Teal’c?” With enough data, he might be able to figure out why she felt that way.

“All of them… safe. But nowhere… close to… John… or you.”

“But not warm?” She shook her head again. He waited for her to continue.

“Warm… ish. More… lukewarm. But Teal?” She wasn’t sure of his name.

“Teal’c?” She nodded. “What about him?”

“Feels a little… strange… weird…. I… don’t know… how to….”

“It’s okay. But you aren’t afraid of him, are you?”

“No.” She stopped speaking and just stared at him.

Daniel thought over everything she’d shared with him. It was mainly bits and pieces, but it seemed that was all she had to give him. Maybe he and his team could help fill in the holes. “I appreciate you telling me all of this and for giving me these... prized possessions.” He opted to use her own words. “Do you mind if I tell Cam and John and maybe a few others?”

“No.” She stated firmly, before jumping to her feet and grabbing her bag. “I’m tired…. I’m going to… lay down. Excuse me.” With those words she departed, leaving the two teammates alone.

Muting the television, the former Jaffa got to his feet and came into the kitchen. “Are you now satisfied, Daniel Jackson?”

“No, Teal’c, I’m not. We need to help her.”

“And indeed, we shall.” He gestured to the items on the table. “Should you not call Colonel Mitchell and alert him to this information and the items you have obtained?”

“Yeah.” The archeologist quickly pulled out his phone and began to dial.

*****

“Carter, you do know it’s Saturday, don’t you?” Jack growled as he stepped into his former teammate’s lab. He was surprised to find she wasn’t alone, but didn’t show it.

“I’m aware, sir. But Carson alerted us to a situation and we thought we should loop you in.” Sam smiled at her friend, then at the three other people in the room with her.

“Why isn’t Landry-?” As soon as he started to ask the question, he remembered, but she beat him to the punch.

“He’s in D.C. for the weekend, sir.” She shared with him.

“Yeah, yeah.” O’Neill sighed and looked at the Scotsman. “What is it, doc?”

“Well, you see, General. I….” Beckett looked at the man beside him.

“It’s actually my fault, sir.”

“Am I going to regret promoting you, Sheppard?” The Director of Homeworld Security fought smiling at the younger man who reminded him so much of himself, not always in a good way, but for now, he just wanted to know what was going on.

“I hope not, sir. You see, I was driving back from Denver yesterday and I picked up a hitchhiker.” John began.

“I would think you know better.” Jack interjected.

“I highly doubt she’s in any way a threat, sir. Mariah is very meek.”

“Aye, just a slip of a lass.” The physician agreed with his colleague.

“Fine, she’s not a threat. Get to the situation.” O’Neill was losing his patience.

Mitchell decided to finally speak up. “Shep brought her to dinner with me, sir, and I offered her a place to sleep for a couple nights or longer if she liked. Some place where she’d be safe and wouldn’t have to watch her back. She accepted, then-.”

“I discovered she was injured and called Carson.” The Atlantis military commander continued.

“She had a knife wound to her side. I debrided it and cleaned her up. She had a bunch of older wounds, too. Because of that and the current injury, I took some blood to test. I wanted to make sure she was healthy. But John, he….”

“I asked him to do the full SGC panel on her blood.” Sheppard finished the thought. He didn’t want his friend to get in trouble because of him.

“Any reason?” The General narrowed his eyes and waited for the response.

“I had a feeling, sir.” There was a strange look on the newly minted Lieutenant Colonel’s face.

It was a look the former leader of SG-1 recognized, but he kept his face neutral. “A feeling, huh? All right, what did you find, Doctor?”

“Aye.” Carson hurried around the work bench to O’Neill’s side. He grabbed Carter’s laptop and turned it where he could point at the screen where the test results were displayed. “I was expecting to find one thing and ended up finding two. Here.” He indicated a spike on a chart. “Is the marker showing she has the ATA gene.”

“Strong?” Jack asked. He wasn’t surprised, considering Sheppard’s ‘feeling.’

“Aye, somewhere between yours and John’s. She should be able to easily control Ancient technology.” Beckett nodded and waited.

“What was the second thing?” The former SGC Director noticed Sam and the Scotsman shared a look following his question.

“It’s here, sir.” Carter peeked around the edge of the screen and pointed to another smaller spike on the chart. “It’s the reason Carson contacted me. She has naquadah in her blood.”

O’Neill knew that was something to be concerned about, but he still asked. “And why is that significant?”

“Well, sir, there are two possibilities. It could mean she’s been exposed to naquadah, either in its raw form or through Gou’ald technology, or….”

“Or what, Sam?”

“She has or had a symbiote.”

“I’m pretty bloody sure she doesn’t currently have a symbiote. Her wound, the symbiote's natural regenerative abilities would’ve healed it. It was badly infected. I had to give her a large dose of a strong antibiotic.” The physician declared adamantly. He pointed at the three Colonels. “I only called them, because I wasn’t sure of the significance or who I was supposed to inform. I won’t see the lass persecuted. I-.”

“Calm down, doc. We’re not going to do that.” Jack jumped in before either Sheppard or Mitchell could. “Here’s what I want to happen. I-.” Ringing interrupted him mid-thought. It was someone’s cell phone.

Cam quickly realized it was his and pulled his phone from his pocket. He noted the caller ID as he answered. “What is it, Jackson?” He paused and listened for a minute. “Whoa, whoa, stop for a second.” He held the phone out to his superior. “I think you should speak with him, sir. It’s about Mariah.”

“Okay….” The General took the phone and held it to his ear. “Talk to me, Danny.” He nodded along with what he was hearing. “Understood. We’ll be there shortly.” He hung up and gave the phone back to its owner. “Here’s the plan. Mitchell, you and Sheppard will head back to your place and I’m going to tag along. I need to pick up the stuff Daniel got from our mysterious Mariah and bring it back here for Carter to look at. Sound good?”

“Yes, sir.” The two pilots replied. There was a slightly surprised look on John’s face, but he got himself under control after a beat.

“Sam?” O’Neill swung around to look at his former teammate. She raised her eyebrows and waited. “I want you to stay here. Contact the Daedalus and have them standby to beam me back from Mitchell’s place. Also, reach out to McKay and get him in here. I want the two of you to do a deep dive into Mariah. I’ll be bringing her ID and laptop with me. She gave them to Daniel for some reason.”

“Rodney’s not going to like having his weekend interrupted, sir, especially during his first time off in a year.”

“He’ll get over it, Sheppard. Plus, I know enough about him to know he enjoys arguing with Carter too much to pass up the chance at doing it again for an afternoon. Two geniuses are better than one. Everything clear?” His three subordinates nodded at him.

“If I might, General….” Carson began, but when no one said anything, he queried. “I’d like to come along and check the lass’s wound?”

“Sure, the more the merrier. Let’s go.” The Director of Homeworld Security waited for the three other men to exit first, then locked eyes with Sam. “Don’t go anywhere.”

“I’ll be right here until you get back, Jack.” They shared a smile, then he strode out of the lab. He was looking forward to meeting this interesting young woman that Sheppard had a feeling about.

*****

O’Neill had never been to Mitchell’s apartment before. As he stepped inside and took it in, he nodded in approval. It was warm and cozy and not overly large. The new leader of SG-1 probably could’ve afforded a bigger place, but didn’t see the need since he lived alone. Jack often considered giving up his house, since it was much too large for him on his own, plus there were unpleasant memories attached to it. But he pushed those thoughts aside. There were good memories, too, and he had ample space to host his former team, providing them a place to stay if the need arose. He refocused on what he was supposed to be doing when Jackson got up and approached him.

“Daniel.”

“Jack.”

“Sounds like you had an interesting conversation with Mariah.”

“I did. She’s a well-spoken and unique young lady.”

“Any chance you can share with the rest of us?” John asked as he stepped forward. The General hadn’t shared much on the drive from the Mountain and he wanted to know what she told the archeologist. It hurt a little that she’d opened up to someone other than him, but he would take the information any way he could get it. He’d do what was needed to help her to the best of his ability.

Dr. Jackson gave the new arrivals a quick recap of the conversation he had with Mariah. As he neared the end, he stopped abruptly and exchanged a look with Teal’c. The former Jaffa gave nothing away, except for arching an eyebrow at his teammate. The Director of Homeworld Security took note of it and would ask his friends about it later.

“While I appreciate hearing more about the lass, I’d like to examine her now. Where is she?” Carson inquired. He was gripping his medical bag with both hands and was shifting from foot to foot. He was eager to check on her.

“She went to lay down.” Daniel replied and pointed to the hallway.

“Come on, doc. I’ll go with you.” Sheppard led the way down the hall, expecting the Atlantis CMO to follow him. He wasn’t surprised to see O’Neill had joined them when he reached the guest room door. He knocked lightly. “Mariah, it’s John. I’m here with Carson. He’d like to check your wound. There’s also someone I’d like you to meet.” He waited for a few, not expecting a verbal response. He smiled when he heard the door rattle, the knob turned and the door shifted open about a foot. The young woman peeked out at them, scanning who was there, but eventually zeroed in on the General and opened the door all the way.

The three men walked into the bedroom, but Mariah kept her focus on the former leader of SG-1. She was scanning him and he was doing the same in return. Eventually, their eyes met. He was struck by the warmth in her brown eyes as well as the deep rich color of them. He could easily get lost in them and understood why Sheppard had taken a chance on her. He was mesmerized by her.

The former SGC Director cleared his throat and broke the connection, scuffing a foot against the carpet. When he looked at her again, he smiled and spoke. “Hiya. I’m General Jack O’Neill, Sheppard’s boss. Well, his boss’s boss, but close enough. It’s nice to meet you, Mariah.”

“Hello.” She said in greeting and a wide genuine smile spread across her face. They went back to staring at each other.

Beckett was oblivious to the unspoken conversation they were having and interrupted. “How are you feeling, love? Your wound giving you any trouble?”

“It feels… fine.” Her attention moved to the physician as he came closer.

“Wonderful to hear.” He smiled at her and gestured at the bed. “All the same, I’d like to have a look. Could you lay down, please?” She nodded and did as he asked, lying in the middle of the mattress and giving the Scotsman space to sit beside her on her right side.

“Do you want me to leave?” Jack didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

She shook her head, no, and added. “It’s okay.”

“Colonel, grab me that chair and bring it over here.” O’Neill ordered.

“Yes, sir.” John grabbed the chair from over by the window and brought it to the other side of the bed for his superior to sit in.

From where he was now, the General couldn’t see what the doctor was doing. The Atlantis military commander stayed by the door. Clearing his throat again, he continued. “Daniel told us about what you shared with him.”

“Said… he would.” She hissed when Carson probed the wound.

“Any concerns with me knowing?” She shook her head and Jack continued. “Beckett expressed a desire to give you a more thorough exam and after some careful thought, I’m going to approve his request and let you come to the Mountain.” He ignored the surprise of the other two men in the room. He was watching Mariah. Her head was turned towards him. “Tomorrow is Sunday, so there won’t be a lot of people around and there is less concern about you seeing something you shouldn’t. However, there are some rules you’re going to need to follow.”

“Okay….” She whispered.

“You will be escorted the entire time you’re there, either by myself, Sheppard, Beckett or Daniel. No one else. Agreed?”

Mariah nodded.

“If you have any questions, you can ask, but we may not be able to answer them. You’ll have to accept that. Is that a problem?”

“No.”

“After your exam, I’d like you to speak with one of our psychologists. Your amnesia or memory problem needs to be addressed. I know it’ll be hard. Personally, I hate talking to shrinks, but I want you to try.”

“Me, too.” Her eyes were watery. He could see it pained her to not remember her past, though he’d like to forget parts of his own. He kept that to himself.

“The last thing is that I’m going to have Carter do a deep dive into you. Find out everything there is to know. Depending on the results, I want you to consider going back to school. With a degree, you can potentially come work on the program we’re a part of, unless you have a felony charge.” With her strong gene, she’d be an asset at the SGC or even out in Atlantis. He knew that would make Sheppard happy, but he wasn’t doing this for him. His focus was her. He didn’t believe for one second that her run-in with two officers under his command was a happy accident. There was no such thing as a coincidence in their line of work. It felt deliberate, but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“No felonies.” She stated, her voice clear and audible.

“You sure?” Again, she nodded. “Not that I don’t believe you, but we’re still going to check.” He could see Carson cleaning up on her other side.” “What’s the verdict, doc?”

“The lass’s wound is looking good. I’ve given her another shot of antibiotics and put on a new bandage to be safe. I’m looking forward to being able to examine her more thoroughly tomorrow and making sure she doesn’t have any underlying issues that haven’t presented themselves thus far.” Beckett got to his feet and looked down at her. “I’ll see you tomorrow, love. Try to rest.” He exited the bedroom to wait for the General in the living space. He would be beaming back to the Mountain with him.

“Follow the doc’s orders and I’ll see you later.” Jack stated as he stood, groaning. He was getting old. She arched an eyebrow at him. “Mitchell invited me to come back to watch the game and I’ll probably take him up on it. Right now, I’m going to steal Sheppard for a minute. He’ll be back in a few.”

“Thank you… sir.” The young woman whispered. He shook his head.

“You can call me, Jack or O’Neill. Too many people already address me as sir. Let’s go, Colonel.” He waited for the other man to step out into the hall, then followed him, shutting the door behind him. However, instead of heading to the living room, he crossed the corridor and went into Cam’s bedroom. John did the same and closed the door. “You had a feeling, Sheppard?” He asked once they were alone.

“Yes, sir.”

“No other details you want to give me?”

“Not at this time, sir.” The Atlantis military commander was looking everywhere except for at his superior.

O’Neill sighed and gazed up at the ceiling for a moment. When he dropped his head back down, he spoke in a whisper. “A tingling sensation along the edge of your senses. Strong, almost like something went to sleep, when they’re a natural carrier, but only a dull twinge when they’ve had the gene therapy.” He grinned when the other man locked eyes with him, shock all over his face.

“You too, sir?”

“Yeah…. Only Jackson knows. I discussed it with Janet, Dr. Fraiser, after my first run-in with the Ancient repository, which is when it manifested itself, and she kept it out of my medical record, but she’s gone now.” He broke eye contact while he dealt with the swell of emotions. Janet had been a good friend and even better doctor. He missed her every day. Once he had himself under control, he faced forward and dug a little deeper. “Does anyone know about your ability to sense gene carriers?”

“Just Carson. I think Mariah might feel it, too, but I haven’t asked her about it.”

“Don’t for the time being. It would only confuse her. If we can get her into the Program, then we’ll discuss broaching the topic.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good man, Sheppard. Get back to her. I’ll grab the laptop and her ID and take them to Carter and McKay.” Once he got a nod of agreement, they left the master bedroom and he went down the hall, but after a couple of steps, turned back and stated sternly. “Make sure they don’t eat all the food, especially Teal’c. He eats like it’s going out of style.”

“Will do, General. Though, I should warn you, Mariah’s the same way.” John laughed when the older man rolled his eyes and continued towards the living room.

But inside, Jack was smiling. SG-1 and the Atlantis crew were good people. He was pleased that they were continuing the SGC’s mission. However, now he needed to focus on the newest member of their expanding group and fully bringing her into the fold. It was going to be a bumpy ride.

*****

“Are you sure you don’t want anything?” Sheppard asked the young woman.

Mariah nodded up at him. She was sitting on the floor, her back leaning against the couch, right next to his legs.

The Colonel looked around the living room and studied its occupants. Cam was next to him and beside him was O’Neill. Teal’c was on John’s other side in the recliner stationed there and Daniel was opposite him in a similar chair, by his best friend. Sam, who’d arrived with the General, was behind them all, sitting at the kitchen table, a laptop in front of her. She and Rodney were still working on their research, but she hadn’t wanted to miss team night. Secretly, he thought she was there to be close to her former team leader, but he would never say that out loud where either she or O’Neill might hear. They’d both kick his ass.

Following the General’s departure, he’d stayed with Mariah until she fell asleep, then he’d joined the others in the living room. They decided to continue with their plans to watch a movie, picking something mindless that they didn’t really need to pay attention to. All of them were distracted by the events of the day. He got up several times during the film to check on the young woman and sat with her when Mitchell went to pick up the food and the movie was paused. She’d finally emerged right before the game started, which was also when Jack and Carter arrived. Everyone grabbed food and took the seats they were currently in, watching the game, or in Sam’s case, working and occasionally glancing up when they shouted about a good or bad play. Mariah had bypassed the food and claimed her spot on the floor by him. He was glad to have her close.

The game was a few minutes into the third quarter and the Atlantis military commander was concerned the young woman hadn’t eaten anything since lunch. “If you don’t want to get up, I can-.”

“Leave her alone, Sheppard. If she wants food, she’ll say so.” The former leader of SG-1 called out from the other end of the sofa, eliciting chuckles from the others. He’d been mother-henning Mariah since she joined them. He knew he needed to let her be, but he felt responsible for her.

“It’s okay… John.” She whispered up to him. She curled her hand around his calf and set her head against his knee, her focus on the TV and the football game.

John sat back, sinking into the couch cushions. While he’d been watching the game for almost two hours, he had no idea who was winning or even playing. His focus had been on the woman in front of him. If his team could see him now, they’d be ribbing him nonstop. Rodney would be calling him, Kirk, Teyla would give him a knowing smile, and Aiden would…. He cursed in his head. Over the last few days, he’d forgotten about his AWOL friend. The young marine was somewhere in Pegasus, addicted to the Wraith enzyme and believed he was better that way. He needed to get back to the City and resume the search, but that would mean leaving Mariah behind. He was torn. He knew his duty was to the expedition and its people, but he now felt responsible for the young woman he’d taken off the streets. It was a conundrum.

With her in contact with him, Sheppard allowed himself to watch the game and quickly caught up with who was playing and winning. The rest of the game passed without interruption, save some shouts of dismay and satisfaction. When the final score flashed across the screen, Mitchell turned off the TV and looked around.

“Wanna watch another movie or call it a night?” Their host asked of the room.

“Since we’re going to do this again tomorrow, I think I’ll head home.” Daniel got to his feet.

“I’m with Danny. We’re also going to have a long morning.” O’Neill agreed and explained as he rose and turned around. “Carter, call it a night and go home. I’m sure you and McKay found enough.”

“We finished our research hours ago, sir. Rodney and I were going over some experiment parameters, or trying to.” She closed her laptop. “But you’re right.”

At that point, everyone was on their feet, except for John and Mariah. The young woman was leaning heavily against the Colonel’s leg. She’d fallen asleep. Sheppard reached to shake her shoulder, but Teal’c waved him off.

“There is no need, John Sheppard.” The former Jaffa leaned down and lifted her effortlessly. She slept through the change in position, her head against his shoulder. He carried her down the hall to the guest room, placing her on the bed. He turned and studied the Atlantis military commander, who’d followed them. “You are an honorable man, John Sheppard. As you must return to your duties, know, I will stand by her in your stead. Mariah will not be alone.”

“Thanks, Teal’c.” John smiled at the other man, who bowed his head and left the bedroom. He usually played things close to the vest, but he wasn’t surprised he was broadcasting his feelings, given that Mariah knocked him off balance. He was glad to know that Shaft and his team were stepping up. With one last look at the young woman sleeping on the bed, he left the room and shut the door behind him.

*****

The apartment had been quiet for a few hours and Mariah was still peacefully sleeping, but she was no longer alone in the bedroom. Someone was perched on the edge of the mattress, watching her as she began to shift around. They spoke, but she didn’t hear them.

*I’m glad to see you’re settling in, Mariah. It’s going to be hard, but if anyone can do it, you can. You’ve never met a challenge you haven’t been able to overcome, or….*

The figure chuckled. It was the man who’d been in the bathroom with her the night before. His image faded in and out.

*Simply bulldozed through.*

Her head moved back and forth. She was dreaming. He studied her closer.

*But you aren’t that girl any more. You’re going to have to relearn who you are.*

She turned on her side towards him.

*Or better yet, reinvent yourself. Be different. Well, as different as you can be. I can see bits of the old you, but you’ve changed, too.*

He lowered his head to see her face better in the dark room. She was grimacing and let out a tiny whimper.

*I really shouldn’t do this, but you’re better off awake.*

He touched Mariah on the shoulder and she bolted upright, wide eyes scanning the room. She was alone. Taking several deep breaths to slow her pounding heart, she scanned herself and saw she was still in the clothes she’d been wearing all afternoon. Without turning on the lights, she found her spiffy new pajamas and changed into them, but instead of climbing into bed and trying to go back to sleep, she exited the bedroom and wandered down the hall. She needed some air. She was hopeful that would calm her down the rest of the way. She couldn’t remember her dream, just the unpleasant feelings it caused.

The young woman froze when she saw John on the sofa with a blanket covering him. He was asleep on his side, one of his legs sticking out slightly, almost like he was about to tip off. She was tempted to wake him in order to stop him from falling, but one of them deserved to get a good night’s sleep. She headed to the balcony door and slipped outside. She took up the spot in the corner where she’d spent part of the night before and stared out into the park nestled between the buildings. The moonlight made the space visible and the serenity of the scene helped to calm her. Her head whipped up when the door opened again and Sheppard joined her. She watched as he sat beside her, leaving a few inches between them.

Without asking, he threw his blanket across both their laps and looked everywhere but at her. Allowing his presence to calm her further, she relaxed and eventually fell asleep, a single thought echoing through her head. Maybe I’m not as alone as I thought.

Chapter Text

Mariah glanced at the two men standing with her in the elevator. John and Mitchell were both leaning against the walls, unbothered by their journey. She caught Sheppard’s eye and pointed towards the floor.

“Yes.” The Atlantis military commander smiled and nodded at her. “We’re going down. We’ll get off at Level 11 and change elevators. Hopefully, the General advised them that you’re coming, since you don’t have your ID to show them. Security is higher the further down we go.” He explained, keeping the details to a minimum.

She nodded. It had been an interesting morning thus far.

Once again, Mariah had woken up on the little balcony, but this time, John was with her. Not wanting to leave him there alone, she gave him a nudge and he awoke almost instantly. They exchanged a couple of soft smiles, before getting up and going inside. He’d let her use the bathroom first, while he got what he needed out of the guest bedroom. Then they’d switched places. She’d blushed scarlet when she came out of the bathroom in a towel and Sheppard gaped at her. She ran back into her room. She hadn’t been thinking about how inappropriate it was to wander around the apartment almost naked. It hadn’t been a problem the day before since she was the only one up at the time. Her current situation was alien to her and she’d have to be more thoughtful going forward. By the time they were both dressed and ready for the day, they’d met in the kitchen and started on breakfast. She was sure Sheppard had been stealing glances at her while they worked, but she never caught him in the act. She did her best to forget about her earlier embarrassment and he hadn’t mentioned it.

Mitchell entered the kitchen as they were finishing up with their preparations and commented on how nice she looked in her new clothes. Sam had helped her pick out things with styles and colors that were flattering on her and smiled at the compliment. She was clad in a pair of boot-cut jeans and a boho blouse with her hair up in a tight ponytail. She wanted to look nice since she was going to the place where the two men worked. She didn’t want them to be ashamed of being seen with her. They had breakfast and headed out. The General had told Cam to be there by 0830 and they didn’t want to disobey his orders. The guard at the main gate had waved them through without mentioning the young woman’s presence and the front desk did the same. Both people seemed to know Cam and either let them through because of that or had been warned that he was bringing someone with him to base. But the real test would be when they got off the elevator at Level 11, where every employee and visitor had to provide some type of identification, either a license or a badge. The Colonels had their badges on. Mariah was growing nervous. The doors opened and she immediately breathed a sigh of relief.

“Sheppard, Mitchell.” O’Neill nodded at the two men, then smiled at her. “Mariah.”

“Sir.” His two subordinates replied.

“Hi… Jack.” When she said his name, his smile grew.

“See that wasn’t so hard. Come on. We need to get you down to the infirmary. Beckett’s waiting for you.” He beckoned them out and walked past the check-in desk without a glance. Mariah hurried after him. No one tried to stop her. The General pressed the button for the other elevator.

John came up beside her and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “You’re fine. I’m sure O’Neill took care of everything.”

The young woman nodded, but kept her head down. The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. It was empty. They all stepped inside and the Director of Homeworld Security hit the ‘21’ button. Once the doors closed and they began to move, he took something out of his pocket and offered it to her. It was a red badge with a ‘V’ on it. She took it from him and clipped it to her collar, then looked up as he began to speak.

“Keep that on you at all times and don’t wander off. We’re going to leave you with the doc in the infirmary, along with a security detail. I trust you to do as your told, but this is still a top-secret military facility. They are there to keep you safe and keep others away. The geeks… I mean, the scientists don’t always look to see who’s around before they start saying things. Also, we don’t have any teams slated to return today, but you never know what’s going to happen. If the marines give you an order or Beckett tries to move you to an isolation room, just do as you’re told. Clear?”

“Yes.”

“You’re going to be fine.” He winked at her and she smiled. “Have Beckett call Carter’s lab when he’s done with you and I’ll have Daniel come get you. He’s going to take you to see the head shrink. I got him to come in today, special, to speak with you for a bit. Depending on what he thinks, we’ll find you somebody in town to see you after that and going forward.” The elevator jolted to a stop and the doors opened, revealing a large ‘21’ on the wall across from them. They got out and started down the hall. All the doors along the corridor were closed and they didn’t run into anyone, not until they reached the open doors of the infirmary where two marines were standing guard.

Jack nodded at them and went inside. As soon as Mariah was inside, she looked around. There were hospital beds along the walls, as well as some metal doors. She spotted Carson sitting at a desk with an older woman standing beside him. They were reviewing a paper together, but looked up when they sensed movement. The physician stood and hurried over.

“Welcome, love. Are you ready to get started?”

Her eyes frantically darted around the room and she began to play with her hands. She wasn’t sure if she could do this, then she felt a hand on the small of her back and her movements halted. It was John and she turned towards him.

“Here.” He reached under the collar of his t-shirt and pulled a chain up and over his head. He put the chain over her head and let it drop. It was his dog tags. “You keep those until we meet up later. Shaft’s going to take us to this great burger place he knows about for lunch. He swears they’re as big as your head. Focus on that.” He kept his voice low like they were having a private conversation, but the others were likely listening to them.

Mariah nodded and swung back around to face the Scotsman. “Ready.”

“Come along, love. Let me introduce you to Megan. She’s one of the nurses here and is going to be helping me out today.” He ushered her away and towards a bed, where the older woman he’d been speaking with earlier was waiting for them.

It took all her restraint to not glance over her shoulder as the three Air Force officer left and went to meet with Sam and the others.

*****

“Rodney?”

“Just a second.” The physicist continued typing on his laptop.

“Rodney? We’re waiting.”

“I already told you, Sheppard, just a second.”

“MCKAY!” O’Neill barked.

“Fine, I’m done.” The Atlantis CSO acquiesced and lifted his head. Everyone else in the room was staring at him. He pointed at Sam. “Carter could’ve started while I finished what I was doing. I had an idea about how to improve power-.” He stopped mid-sentence when John glared at him. “Never mind. After you.” He gestured at his fellow scientist.

The Colonel rolled her eyes and scanned the people in her lab. Her team was there, along with the Atlantis military commander, Dr. McKay and Jack. They were there to learn what they’d discovered about Mariah. It wasn’t much, but it was interesting. “I’d like to start by saying, we confirmed everything she told Daniel. She was a student at Stanford and had just completed her sophomore year. She was an excellent student, majoring in Linguistics and Psychology, and was already investigating and applying to graduate programs.”

“Yes, and she was reported missing by a-.”

“Not yet, Rodney.” Carter growled. He always got ahead of himself. “Let’s talk about the other stuff first.”

“Right, right.” He brought something up on his laptop. “We found mention of her in three police reports during the last five years, if we ignore the initial missing person report which we’re not talking about right now. She was arrested twice for vagrancy; once in Los Angeles and the other in some no-name town in Utah. She was never charged, just spent the night in a cell and fed a couple of meals.”

“What about the third police report? Was she charged?” Mitchell asked. On the way to his teammate’s lab, the General had mentioned the possibility of getting Mariah into the Program. Shep already seemed to know about it. It was common knowledge you couldn’t be a felon and hold a top-secret security clearance, except in a few extraordinary circumstances.

“She was the victim of the third incident.” Sam shared, earning gasps from everyone but McKay and Teal’c, who had excellent control of his emotions. “According to the report and eyewitness testimony, she walked into a bar, took a seat and ordered a drink. Then some local hotheads began to harass her. She ignored them, which they didn’t appreciate and led to them attacking her.”

Sheppard was aware she had been hurt in the past, but was still shocked to hear what happened. “Is that how she got some of her injuries?”

“No.” Rodney stated firmly. “They never laid a hand on her, but….” He shared a look with his fellow physicist and let her be the one to drop the bombshell.

“She wiped the floor with them, without any help.”

“Explain that, Carter. She’s, what, 120 pounds, 5-foot and change tall? How did she take out four attackers by herself?” O’Neill demanded.

“We found video proof of what she did and her attackers were not small men, sir. They were all former high school football players and worked construction at the time of the attack.” Sam was trying to keep her face blank, but a tiny smile kept breaking through. The video was impressive.

“Show us.” Jack ordered.

 While she worked on bringing the video up, another person wandered into the lab, but no one noticed him. It was the same person who appeared to be haunting Mariah. His form was still semi-transparent and he rounded the workbench as Carter got the video ready to go.

*I remember that day. I had a hell of a time getting her to respond and I know a thing or two about hell.* He chuckled lightly.

O’Neill reached around his former teammate and hit play. They watched the grainy CCTV footage. A figure they all quickly recognized as Mariah walked into the frame and took a seat at the long wooden bar. The bartender came over and took her order before walking away from her. They studied the young woman. She looked much like she had when Sheppard first picked her up; dirty hair and clothes with her oversized pack strapped onto her back. After a minute, she took her bag off and put it between herself and the bar.

*All she wanted was a drink and some place to warm up for a few minutes. That bar was in the mountains and winter was coming. She was heading south to avoid the snow. They should’ve left her alone.*

Elsewhere in the frame, they could see four men sitting around a table. They were pointing and laughing at Mariah; their mouths moved, likely throwing comments in her direction. She and the other bar patrons ignored them.

*They weren’t bad guys, but they were drunk and one of them had just broken up with his high school sweetheart. I’m not excusing what they did. They made their own choices and got exactly what they deserved.*

One of the men got up right when Mariah received her drink and came over to her. He leaned on the bar next to her and tried to speak with her, but she didn’t engage. He gestured wildly and slammed his hand down onto the bar.

*I’ve heard a lot of colorful comments and some of the cruelest insults that can be dished out. This guy should’ve died for what he said to her, even if he said it in a fit of anger.*

Not getting any response, the man swung at her, but she ducked and moved away from him, sliding off her barstool. Her eyes were locked on him now, watching his every move.

*I screamed until my face turned red to get her to react. To bring the old her to the forefront. What happened next was all her. The old her.*

The man went after her, but she dodged and evaded every attempt, then he called for his friends. It was now four against one and they were actively trying to hurt her. The bartender screamed at them, but he was ignored. He picked up a landline from behind the bar, probably calling the police. With them intent on hurting her, Mariah blocked their strikes and hit back, a fist here, a kick there. She knocked one guy out with a roundhouse to the head. He went down first. The next guy she blocked by hooking her foot into a stool, lifting it up in front of her, grabbing it and using it to deliver a blistering uppercut to his jaw, then another strike to the side of his head. He was unconscious before he hit the floor and she tossed the stool aside. The third guy was able to get behind her, but never touched her. She threw an elbow at his face, breaking his nose, then caught his arm when he swiped blindly at her and dislocated his wrist, elbow and shoulder with a few well-placed hits from her free hand and arm. He fell to his knees in agony, cradling his injured limb to his chest. That left her with a single opponent, the first man who approached her. He kept trying to hit her, but she went back to dodging, but popped up a few times to get a punch or two in. Eventually, he grew unsteady on his feet, his arms out in front of him. She wrapped her arms around his and jumped up, headbutting him once, twice, thrice. He fell backwards like a dead tree and all movement stopped. Mariah scanned the bar, then grabbed her head and doubled over. When she looked back up, she began to panic and backed out of the frame. The video stopped. Everyone in the lab was flabbergasted, except for the two scientists and the figure, who slowly faded away.

Seeing the shock of the people around her, Carter explained. “The whole thing was over in a few minutes and by the time the police arrived to break up the fight, Mariah had curled up in a corner and was having a meltdown. The police tried to take her into custody, but the bartender, the waitress who was tending to her and most of the other patrons came to her defense and explained that she was the victim. She stayed with the waitress for the evening and made a statement in the morning, before moving on. She decided not to press charges since it would mean staying in town.”

“Did she explain how she did that?” Jackson pointed at Sam’s laptop. He was amazed by what he’d just watched. It didn’t match up with the young woman they knew.

“No memories of the fight. Last thing she remembered was the guy coming over and talking to her, then she was standing over the four of them. The officer who took her statement added an interesting comment in his report.” Rodney leaned closer to his screen to read what was written. “Victim possibly entered a fugue state. Without a psychological assessment, it’s unclear as to why she has no memories of the incident.” He looked up and added. “She kinda reminded me of Teyla when she went all Xena on them.” He shared a grin with his team leader. They both missed the Athosian woman.

“Mariah is a formidable warrior and must have undergone extensive training to best four larger, stronger opponents in such a manner.” Teal’c added to the discussion.

“No training, not that we could find. Her pre-college history is pretty basic, nothing that would explain what she did in that bar.” Sam shared a look with the Atlantis CSO. They’d both been just as surprised as their friends and colleagues after they saw the video the first time and reviewed her background for answers. There had to be an explanation, but they didn’t know what it could be.

“Let’s come back to that later.” The General stated. “You mentioned a missing person’s report. Who made it? Her parents? A sibling? A boyfriend?” He ignored the disgruntled expression on Sheppard’s face that appeared following his last comment.

“A law firm.” McKay blurted out before Carter could. “About two months after she disappeared.”

“No one else noticed she was gone?” John questioned. Nobody answered him, but they didn’t need to. It hurt to realize no one cared about her except a bunch of lawyers.

“It was the start of summer break.” Daniel suggested. “Her friends probably thought she went on a trip or something.”

“None of that matters.” Jack blurted out. “Carter, tomorrow, I want you to contact the detective who caught the case and get the lowdown on Mariah and this law firm. Clear?”

“Crystal, sir.” She replied. When her lab phone started to ring, she got up and went to answer it.

“Mitchell, reach out to Paul Davis at the Pentagon. If we’re going to have to deal with lawyers, I want one of our own on standby. Got it?” O’Neill ignored Sam, who had returned and was standing next to him, waiting to speak.

“Not a problem, sir. I’ll get his number from Sgt. Harriman.” Cam smiled at his superior and rocked back on his heels.

Jack turned to his former teammate. “Yes, Sam? You need something?”

“Carson’s finished Mariah’s exam. I think you wanted-.”

“Right, Daniel, could you please go get Mariah and take her to see Dr… Byers? Dryer?”

“Meyers?” The archeologist threw out. The rest of his team was trying not to laugh at the General’s habit of forgetting names.

“Exactly. He’s waiting to meet with her.” Before Jackson could depart, he added. “And tell Beckett to swing by and give us an update.”

“Yes, Jack.” He called back. As he wandered down the hall, he chuckled. His friend would never change and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

*****

“You doing okay?”

Mariah nodded and stayed close to Daniel as they rounded another corner. The base was a rabbit warren of halls, corridors and rooms and with so many levels, she was sure they would never be able to find their way out. She grabbed John’s tags tightly. She wanted him there, but he had other things to do, and Daniel was a decent alternative. She was still surprised at how comfortable she was with him after how their first meeting had started. A lot had changed in the last 24 hours and she was trying to not get overwhelmed.

“And your exam was… okay?”

“Anemic… and the… wound on… my side. Everything… else appeared… normal. Waiting… on test… results.” She was trying to verbalize more, especially because she wanted to do what Jack suggested; let the psychologist do a prelim exam and then continue treatment with an outside therapist. It would be the beginning of her road to recovery. Then she could go back to school and work with John and Cam. She would do anything to repay their kindness, though she knew she didn’t need to.

“Great.” The archeologist hummed. He could see she was nervous and shared. “Dr. Meyers has only been here a few months, but everything I’ve heard about him is good. Very pleasant and easy to talk to.” He adjusted his glasses. “I can stay while he… talks with you, if you’d like, but I understand if you want privacy.”

“Rather you stay.”

“As long as you’re sure, I will.” He smiled when she nodded again. “We’re almost there.” They turned another corner and spotted a man standing outside a door down the hall from them. “There he is now. Doctor!” He called out and lifted a hand in greeting to the other man.

A shudder rippled through Mariah’s entire body and she shook her head. “No, no, no.” She whispered before grabbing Jackson’s arm and pulling him back with surprising strength. “No, please.” She begged.

He immediately turned to her and saw all color had left her face. He covered the hand on his arm with one of his and felt how cold she was. “What’s wrong?”

“Cold….”

“Do you need to go back to the infirmary?” His focus stayed on her, but he could hear someone approaching them.

“No.” She shook her head again. “He’s cold.” She continued to whisper and nudged her head in the direction of the psychologist who had almost reached them. “And weird… like Teal’c.” She added quickly. She might not understand the weird feeling she got, but she knew enough to know that it wasn’t a good thing when combined with the cold feeling.

“Is everything all right, Dr. Jackson?” Meyers inquired as he stopped a couple of feet from them.

“Yes, everything’s fine.” The archeologist turned to look at the other man and forced a smile on his face. “But Mariah forgot something in the infirmary and we need to go get it. I apologize. It shouldn’t take more than ten minutes, twenty at the most.”

“That’s unfortunate. I only came in today because General O’Neill demanded my presence. I would like to go home before I’ve wasted the entire day.”

“We’ll make sure we get you home as soon as possible, but Mariah’s been through a lot and I need to make sure she has what she needs when she needs it. I’m sure you understand.” Daniel took a step away from Meyers and gently pushed the young woman behind him.

“Of course.” The psychologist gave him a thin pained smile. “I’ll be here when you return.”

“Perfect.” He walked backwards, keeping Mariah shielded, until they came to the corridor junction, then he turned and pushed her back the way they came. Once they were out of sight, he wrapped both arms around the petrified young woman. “You’re okay.” She was trembling and he hated that.

“Need John.”

“I’ll take you to him, but I have to make a quick call. Come on.” Keeping an arm around her, Jackson led her down the hall and around a couple of corners, where they found a phone attached to the wall. He lifted the receiver and dialed. It only took a few rings for someone to answer. “Hey, Sam. I need Jack to meet me in the hall outside your lab. I think we have a problem. I-I-I’ll explain. Just tell him.” He hung up. With him otherwise occupied, Mariah huddled against his back, taking deep breaths and trying to calm herself. It wasn’t working. He turned slowly, staying in constant contact with her as he did. “I’ll have you to Colonel Sheppard in a few minutes.” He gathered her close and hurried them to the nearby elevator. They went up two floors and were outside the lab in less than two minutes, where O’Neill and John were waiting.

The Atlantis military commander immediately saw the state the young woman was in and rushed to her. “What happened?” Upon hearing his voice, Mariah surged forward to wrap her arms around his waist. He embraced her in return.

“Daniel, all you were supposed to do was take her to see the shrink.”

“And that’s what I did, Jack.” He wasn’t going to be bullied by his friend. “As soon as we turned the corner and she saw Meyers, she freaked out. She said…he felt cold and weird.”

The former leader of SG-1 quirked his head and a perplexed look appeared on his face. “Is that supposed to mean something to me?”

“Well, you see, when she and I spoke yesterday, she said that the Colonel Sheppard and I… well, that we felt safe and warm. Then I dug a little deeper and asked her about Cam, Sam and Teal’c.” A look passed over the General’s face at his word and he realized Jack knew that he’d held something back the day before when he gave everyone a breakdown of their conversation.

“And she said?” O’Neill tried to keep his focus on his former teammate, but it was hard. Once Mariah had come into contact with John, she’d started sobbing and the Atlantis military commander was trying to calm her, while listening to their conversation.

“That they were safe, but not as safe as us, and were kind of lukewarm. But more importantly, she said something felt weird about Teal’c.”

“You think because he’s….” O’Neill gestured at his forehead and then his belly.

“That was the conclusion I came to. Which leads me to believe….” He trailed off when the Director of Homeworld Security dashed back into Carter’s lab and right over to the phone. Hopefully, he was calling for a security team with stunners and alerting the infirmary that they might have a patient for them. The day was getting more and more interesting.

*****

“I brought food.” Rodney held up the big bag in his hand and pushed his way into the apartment.

Sheppard let him, but followed his path through and around the living room and kitchen. “Why are you here, McKay?”

“Mitchell got delayed and then mentioned burgers, so I volunteered to get some for you, me and….” He scanned the living space again, even though he’d just walked through both rooms. “Where is she?” He dropped the bag on the table and started to pull boxes out of it.

“She’s taking a bath. Carson suggested a good soak would help her nerves when he brought us back here.” John sighed and ran a hand through his hair. After Jackson had shared what happened with him and O’Neill, his superior ordered him to take Mariah home. Since Shaft was staying at the mountain and Beckett had finished the work he was there to do, the physician offered to drive them. The Scotsman was just as concerned as him about the young woman’s mental state. Once they got her safely inside, he gave her something to calm her nerves and mentioned a bath might help. Mariah’s eyes filled with relief at the comment, leading John to immediately fill the tub for her. Not wanting a repeat of the towel incident from that morning, since he didn’t know how he would react if it happened a second time, he made sure she had something to change into and left her alone in the bathroom. She’d been in there for a while and he’d been about to check on her when his teammate showed up.

“Go get her then before it gets cold. Based on what Mitchell told me, I got her a bacon cheeseburger with no onions and had them add a little avocado for some healthy fat.” He looked up and smiled at his team leader.

“Who are you and what have you done with Rodney?” The Colonel was baffled. The physicist was being nice and caring.

“Go get her or I’ll eat it all myself.”

“That’s the McKay I know.” John smirked and headed down the hall, knocking on the bathroom door. “Mariah? My friend, Rodney, brought us lunch since Cam is stuck at the Mountain. Would you like to join us?” He didn’t hear a response, but the sound of water draining echoed through the small enclosed space. Then there were a few light footsteps, the knob jingled and the door cracked open. The young woman peeked her head around the door.

“I need… to get… dressed.”

“Sure.” He smiled and did his best to ignore the bare shoulder he could see. “But don’t take too long. Rodney has never met food he hasn’t wanted to eat.”

“Except citrus.” McKay shouted from the kitchen.

“He’s deathly allergic.” Sheppard whispered. “We’ll be in the kitchen.” She nodded and shut the door, reengaging the lock. He went to join his friend. They grabbed utensils and napkins and sat down to wait for Mariah. He decided to ask about what occurred after he’d left. “What happened with Meyers?”

“It was rather anticlimactic.” The physicist shoved a French fry in his mouth. “SG-1, O’Neill and a security team went to his office. I tagged along, but stayed out of the way. He was baffled at seeing so many people, then tried to run when they pulled out zats and some of those Wraith hand stunners we brought back with us. It’s a good thing, too. The zat pissed him off and his eyes flashed as he fell to his knees. They hit him with about five stunner blasts before they even dared approach. Security carried him to the infirmary and they did the extraction with help from Hermiod. O’Neill and SG-1 wanted to stick around and speak to Meyers when he comes to. They need to see if he’s an innocent victim or a willing plant.” He ate a few more fries.

“So, he was a Goa’uld?” By the time he joined the Program, most of the symbiotic aliens had been wiped out. He wasn’t aware of all the ins and outs.

“Yup, big old snake in the head. They think it was the Trust who implanted him, probably to get dirt on people in the Program. Then they could blackmail those people to get even more information. The only good thing is Meyers hadn’t been there too long. It’s lucky that she.” He gestured at the hallway. “Had some weird reaction to him.”

“To her own detriment. It could permanently setback her recovery.”

“I think you should be more concerned about how she knew he was an alien.” McKay pointed out.

The Colonel knew he made a good point, but didn’t want to focus on that. He needed to find someone to help her with her anxiety and fear. He’d have to speak with Shaft when he got home and come up a plan. Between the two of them, they’d figure it out. Hearing the bathroom door open, he sat up straighter. After a few minutes, Mariah hesitantly approached the table where he was sitting with his friend. He got up and went to her, then ushered her over. “This is Dr. Rodney McKay. We work together at the base where I’m stationed. He’s also on my team.” He looked at the other man. “Rodney, this is Mariah.”

“Hello.” She whispered and ducked her head.

“It’s nice to meet you.” He replied awkwardly. “Please sit. I got you this.” He slid the box sitting next to him across the table, assuming she’d sit on Sheppard’s other side, which she did.

“Thank you.” She carefully opened the box and smiled again. The burger was almost as big as her head, just like Cam had told John.

“Thank God, we can finally eat. I’m starving.” McKay went after his burger, taking two large bites.

Mariah was still figuring out how best to attack hers. She wasn’t even sure if she could pick it up.

“Would you like me to cut it for you?” John offered. She nodded and he cut it into quarters. When he was done, he started to eat. She followed suit.

The young woman only made it halfway through her burger, before she gave up and sat back. She groaned, earning a chuckle from the Colonel and an eager look from the physicist, who was already finished.

“Are you going to eat the rest?” Rodney reached towards her burger and got his hand smacked. “What the hell, Sheppard?”

“Keep your hands off her food. She can finish it later.”

“But I bought it.”

“For her. Drop it, McKay.” The Atlantis military commander turned back to Mariah and saw she was fighting not to laugh. “I admit we’re a bit like a comedy act.”

“Speak for yourself.” The scientist studied the young woman and suddenly changed the subject. “From what I’ve heard, you’re reasonably intelligent.”

“Okay….” She was unsure where he was going with his comment. She noticed John putting the rest of her burger away for her. She fought not to smile.

“You did get into Stanford, after all.”

“Yes.” She was pretty sure that wasn’t a compliment.

“Then why would an intelligent person major in two soft sciences? Actually, calling them sciences is insulting to real science. Why’d you pick Linguistics and Psychology?” Rodney stared at her and waited. Sheppard was watching their discussion from a spot leaning against the counter next to the fridge. He was ready to jump in if needed. His teammate was abrasive at the best of times and downright rude at the worst.

“I think… given me… current state… they’re rather apt. I’m an… anxious mess… and can… hardly talk. Maybe I can… fix myself.” Mariah grinned at him.

The physicist laughed. “Was that a joke?” He stole a look at Sheppard and saw he was smiling.

“Yes… just because… I’m broken… doesn't mean… I lost my… sense of humor.”

“You’re not broken.” The Colonel interjected as he came back over to the table. “I don’t want to hear you say that again.”

She simply nodded at him in response.

Turning to his friend and in an effort to lighten the mood, he asked. “McKay, are you staying to watch the game?”

*****

“Before we talk about anything else, I want you to know we dealt with Meyers and he’s being removed from the Program for everyone’s safety. It wasn’t completely his fault, but it’s better for him to be gone. People trusted him with their personal issues and information and he violated that trust.” O’Neill was sitting in the chair next to Mariah’s bed. She was on the edge of the mattress, facing him, with John beside her. McKay and Mitchell were standing in the doorway. Voices came down the hall from the living area. Everyone else was prepping to watch the game.

“Thank you.” The young woman whispered.

“You’re welcome.” The General smiled at her, then grew serious. “But now I have to ask, how’d you know there was something wrong with him?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know.” Her voice was full of frustration. She took a deep breath.

“It’s okay, Mariah. Take your time.” Sheppard stated encouragingly.

“Didn’t understand. Not until… first attack.”

“You mean, when someone attacked you while you were on the streets?” Cam asked. She nodded and rubbed her arm. “Have people always felt warm and cold to you?”

“What does that even mean? People don’t-.”

“McKay!” Jack growled. “Why are you even here? Go bother Carter.” His gaze moved from the physicist to the young woman as she got to her feet.

“It’s okay.” She said, heading to the doorway and stopping in front of the Canadian. She glanced up at the ceiling in an effort to gather her thoughts. She dropped her head and looked him in the eyes. “Have you… ever gotten… goosebumps suddenly… or felt like… someone was…walking over… your grave?”

“Yeah, any time I got out in the field with him.” McKay pointed around her at his team leader. “Is that what you feel?”

“Yes, but… more so. Like… all the warmth… is gone… from my body. With Meyers… felt like… an ice bath.”

The scientist was intrigued. “What about the warm feeling?”

“Depends.” She shrugged. “You… Sam… Cam… like walking… inside… on a fall day… to a cozy… warm house.”

“What about Sheppard and Daniel?” The Director of Homeworld Security prodded.

“Don’t forget… Carson… and you.” Mariah turned to look at him and smiled, then fought not to laugh when she saw the confusion in his eyes. She hadn’t mentioned she felt the same thing around him or Beckett. “In front of… a fire… wrapped in… a blanket… with someone who… cares.” She paused extra-long before saying the last word. She could see John and Jack were uncomfortable.

Rodney couldn’t and immediately started talking. “This is fascinating. I have several experiments I’d like to run. Would you be willing to let-?” He squawked when the leader of SG-1 grabbed his arm and dragged him down the hall. His indignant shouts faded as they joined the others in the living room. She returned to her spot on the bed beside Sheppard.

“Now that the peanut gallery is gone.” Jack stated with a sigh. “Thank you for sharing all that with us, but there’s one other thing I wanted to talk with you about.”

“Excuse me, sir.” John interjected. When his superior didn’t object, he continued. “Mariah, you explained the warm and cold feelings, what about the weird one? What does that feel like?” He wanted to know for two reasons; one, because he was sure Rodney would ask about it and he wanted to deal with it before he could bother her again and two, so he might be able to sense when she was getting that feeling off another person.

“Teal’c is like… a sour candy. A little pucker. Meyers.” Her whole body shuddered. “Like eating… a whole lemon… or drinking… a cup… of vinegar.”

“Good to know.” O’Neill gave the Colonel a nod of approval. It had been a good question. “Back to what I wanted to say. I know things didn’t go as planned today in regards to starting therapy and such.” He pulled something out of his pocket and offered it to her. Sheppard took it and scanned the front, then showed it to her. “I spoke to Dr. Lam, the head physician for our program, and asked if she knew a good non-military affiliated therapist we could get you in to see. She gave me that card and told me Dr. Bennett is great. Specializes in PTSD and people who have experienced significant traumas, either physical or mental. Carter gave her a call and was able to get you an appointment tomorrow. It’s early, before she usually takes appointment, but we explained the situation and she was happy to squeeze you in.”

Mariah looked at the card. It read ‘Dr. Angela Bennett, MD, PsyD.’ Taking the card from John, she flipped it over and saw someone had written ‘0730’ on the back.

“She wants you there that early to fill out some paperwork. Your appointment is at 0800. I have Carter working on getting you added as a dependent for Mitchell, which means his medical benefits will cover you, but for this first appointment, we’ll-.” The General was interrupted again by his subordinate.

“I’ll pay for the appointments and she can be my dependent.” His statement was firm and broached no argument.

“Fine, Sheppard. I’ll tell Carter.” The older man got up. “I’m going to join the others. If you feel like it, you should, too. Everyone is concerned about you and wants to see you’re all right for themselves. Beckett’s even here, complaining how football isn’t football. I need to go defend our American honor.” John laughed and Mariah smiled, then she got to her feet again and approached the former leader of SG-1. “Yes?” He looked down at her, waiting to see what she wanted.

Without saying a word, she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. He gave her a few pats on the back. She stepped away from him and he left. Turning to face Sheppard, she grinned. She didn’t know why, but being there felt right.

*****

“Thanks for helping clean up, Shep.”

“Not a problem, Shaft. Made it go faster. We both have early mornings.” John stretched and threw his pillow on the couch. Cam’s guests had left almost thirty minutes earlier and after Sheppard had carried Mariah to her bed, since she had fallen asleep during the game again, the two men started to clean up the mess left behind. It hadn’t taken them long, but it was late and they both needed sleep.

“Yeah, I have to get in early to call Davis and prep for our afternoon mission. You okay to take Mariah to her appointment tomorrow?”

“I have that piece of junk motor pool assigned to me when I got back to Earth and Dr. Bennett’s office isn’t too far from here.” He shrugged. “I’m mainly concerned how Mariah’s going to handle talking about her problems.”

Mitchell nodded. “As long as the shrink is patient with her, she’ll do fine. She’s getting better and talking more even after only a couple of days. Damn.” He cursed and slapped his thigh. “It’s hard to believe we’ve only known her for 48 hours.”

“Seems like years.” John yawned. “Well, I’m hitting the hay. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“If you’re not up when I need to leave, I’ll wake you. Night, Shep.”

“Night, Shaft.” He watched the other man walk down the hall and disappear into his bedroom. He rounded the couch and laid down, pulling the blanket from the back over his body. He was asleep without a few minutes.

Until he wasn’t. He froze and listened. Someone was walking in his direction. Then he saw her. For the third night in a row, Mariah was going out to the little balcony. He let her go out and get into her spot, then swung his feet off the sofa and hurried to join her, blanket in hand. He sat beside her and threw the blanket over both of them, just like the night before. The only difference was that as soon as he did that, she shifted closer to him and before he knew it, his arm was wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her against his side. They sat for a few minutes in silence.

“Sorry… I woke you.”

“I’ve always been a light sleeper, so it’s not your fault.” He sighed and looked up at the stars. “Are you feeling claustrophobic? Is that why-?” From what Daniel had told them the day before, after her breakdown, she’d felt the walls closing in. He thought that might be what was bothering her.

Mariah shook her head. “No, I….” She trailed off and looked away.

“You don’t have to tell me. I was just curious.” He continued. “Sleeping out here isn’t good for either of us. You need real sleep and eventually, it’ll be too cold to use the balcony.”

“Nightmares.” She whispered.

“You’re having nightmares?” He asked. She nodded. “About your time on the streets?”

“No, I don’t… really remember them. Mostly, I remember… how they… make me feel. What I do… remember doesn’t… make sense. Like scenes… from multiple movies… all spliced… together.” It was her turn to sigh. “I can’t make… sense of them…. They frighten me.” She took a deep breath. “The fresh air… it helps clear… the cobwebs. Keeps the images… and feelings… at bay.”

“Oh.” It wasn’t what he expected her to tell him. He thought about a solution and after a few minutes, one came to him. “How about I sleep with you?”

“Huh?” She looked up at him in confusion. She had to have misheard him.

“That’s not what I meant. I really meant sleep, in the same bed, with you. Like I said, I’m a light sleeper. If you start to have a bad dream, I can wake you.” His face had grown heated and was red with embarrassment.

The young woman chuckled. “That sounds… nice. Both of us… will be comfortable… that way.”

“Exactly.” Sheppard scrambled to his feet and helped her up. They headed inside together. Throwing the blanket on the couch, he followed her down the hall to her room. She slid into the bed without a word and curled up on her side. He took a deep calming breath and rounded the bed, crawling in on the other side. He laid on his back and stared at the ceiling. He hadn’t realized how awkward being in the same bed as her was going to be, but he was willing to bear it if it helped. He was just beginning to relax when a hand searched for his. He grabbed it and sighed. He fell asleep slowly, happy she had trusted him to be there for her.

Chapter Text

“What the hell, Sheppard?” Cam hissed as he shook his friend’s shoulder.

John slowly roused and took a moment to figure out where he was. Then it hit him, he was in bed with Mariah. Shit. He cursed in his head. He’d meant to wake up and be back on the couch before his fellow pilot was up. He disentangled himself from the young woman, who was thankfully still asleep, pushed his friend back and climbed out of bed. He grabbed Mitchell’s arm and dragged him into the hall, softly closing the door behind them. “Don’t wake her.” He growled.

“Why were you in bed with her? She’s vulnerable and you’re taking advantage of her. I should beat your ass.” He checked his watch and sighed. “If I had the time, I’d do it right now. I need to call Jackson and see if he can take her to her appointment.” He stomped down the hall, with Sheppard on his heels.

“I did NOT take advantage of her. I would never do that. She’s been waking up every night and going out on the balcony to sleep.”

“She’s been what?” His friend’s declaration brought him up short. He paused to listen to his explanation.

“Exactly. I joined her two nights ago and last night when I went out, I asked her why. She said she gets nightmares and being out in the fresh air helps. I then offered to sleep with her, and I emphasize sleep, and wake her if she had another one.” He sighed and ran both hands through his hair. “I have no idea how she ended up in my arms. We must have gravitated towards each other in our sleep.”

“If you’re BS’ing me, I’m gonna-.”

“I swear to you it was an innocent gesture.”

“I’ll speak with her when I get home and if she even hints that you coerced her….” He let his threat hang in the air between them.

“If she says I forced myself on her, I’ll let you beat the crap out of me.”

“Fine. I’ve gotta go.” Cam let out an exacerbated sigh. “While you’re out, get some groceries. We’re running low on everything.” He spun around and strode out the front door, shutting it firmly behind him.

Sheppard sighed and ran his hands through his hair again. He checked the time and cursed. They needed to get up and prepare for their day. He walked back to the guest bedroom, grabbed himself a change of clothes and went to get ready. Once he was dressed, he sat next to her on the bed and woke her. “Mariah.” He said softly, not wanting to startle her by touching her.

“John?”

“Yeah. You need to get up. We have to leave in 30 minutes.” He stood back up.

“Oh.” She bolted upright and scanned him. “How long… have you been… up?”

“Fifteen minutes or so. I’m done getting ready, so the bathroom’s all yours. I’ll start on breakfast.” Sheppard didn’t wait for a response and hurried from the room, closing the door behind him. The fridge contained limited options as did the cabinets. He decided to have some cereal with the last of the milk, while letting Mariah have the last of the eggs and bread. He got everything ready for the both of them, keeping an ear out for the young woman. When he heard her leave the bathroom, he pressed the bread down in the toaster and got started on the eggs. He opted to fry them, since that was a little quicker to prepare. He had just gotten everything on a plate when she emerged from the hall. “Food’s all ready.” He shared as he put the pan in the sink and then poured the milk in his bowl.

“Thank you.” She sat in front of the plate of food, then saw that the Colonel wasn’t having the same thing as her. “Why?” She pointed between her eggs and his cereal.

“That’s the last of the eggs and bread. We’ll have to stop at the store after your appointment and stock up.” He began to eat from his bowl.

Mariah wasn’t done though. She pushed her plate towards him. “Have some.”

“No, that’s yours.” He pushed it back, then stopped her from trying again. He locked eyes with her and said quietly. “You need the protein and carbs more than I do. Gotta get your strength back up. Please.”

She nodded slowly and started to eat. 

John kept sneaking glances at her. He hated these types of conversations, but he needed to address what happened before Mitchell got home. “I have to apologize to you.” He blurted out. 

She stopped eating and stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

“During the night, you and I… we… um….” He was struggling and took a deep breath. “I ended up with my arms around you. Shaft found us like that and thinks I took advantage of you, but….” He was trying to explain, but was failing. He froze when she grabbed his hand.

“You did nothing… wrong. Last night… was the best… sleep I’ve had… in five years.” She squeezed his fingers encouragingly.

“I never want you to feel uncomfortable. I don’t know how we ended up like that and felt like… I should address it, before Cam surprised you with it. I had to be the one to bring it up. No matter how it makes me feel.” He felt like a weight had lifted off his chest. Coming clean was freeing, even when it involved his emotions and feelings.

“Don’t worry… John. I trust you.” She smiled at him and got a smile back. With that, they finished their breakfast. They had an appointment to get to. 

*****

“Mariah, are you absolutely sure you want Colonel Sheppard here?”

“Yes, Dr. Bennett. I have… no secrets… from John.” The young woman glanced to the side and smiled at Sheppard who was sitting next to her on the psychologist’s couch. He was rigid and stiff, but did his best to smile back at her. He was not a fan of shrinks, or so he’d told her on their way to the doctor’s office when she asked him to sit in on her session.

“Please call me, Angie. I want you to be comfortable with me and this process.” The older woman looked down at her notes, giving Mariah a chance to study her. The doctor was likely in her 50s or 60s with grey hair pulled back into a bun. Though her face had fine lines and wrinkles, there was a youthful quality to it and her green eyes twinkled when she spoke. She lifted her head and addressed her patient again. “Colonel Carter provided me with some prelim information about you, but I’d like you to tell me about yourself and what brings you here.”

“Um….” Mariah looked down at her hands. It was hard to talk about what happened, almost as hard as speaking was. She felt a hand on her back and relaxed.

“Just breathe and take your time.” Sheppard whispered to her, but the psychologist still heard.

“I know you’re still getting used to speaking after several years of not doing it frequently. I don’t mind the stilted speech, but I understand your frustration as well. Would you try something for me?” Dr. Bennett got a nod in response. “Think about what you want to say, then pause and take a breath before trying to say it. Let’s see if that helps.”

Mariah did as she instructed, formulating what she wanted to convey, and following a deep breath, spoke. “It started five years ago, when I was at Stanford. The stress… it got to me and led me to where I am now.” She smiled. She’d gotten all her words out with only one pause.

“Excellent. I know that technique won’t work all the time, but with a little more practice, you’ll get through the issue without it.” Angie made a note on her pad and continued. “Do you have any idea why the stress affected you so adversely and caused you to run away?”

“I felt… like everyone wanted things from me… and that left nothing for me.” She responded a little faster, leading to more pauses, but it was still better than she had been.

“I’m sure that was extremely hard. No one deserves to be pressured. Did you have any type of support structure at the time? Family? Friends?”

The young woman shook her head.

“Use your words, Mariah. You need to verbalize.” Dr. Bennett encouraged.

She sighed and took another deep breath. “I had a few friends. No one close. And my family… I don’t remember them.”

“And you believe your memory loss is related to the mental breakdown you suffered?”

“Yes.” Mariah trembled. She racked her brain, trying to push past the block in her memories, but at a certain point, there was nothing. It was a void, a black hole, where nothing remained or survived. Tears entered her eyes and she sniffled. She didn’t want to cry. “I don’t even remember… their names.”

“Hmmm.” The psychologist made another note and tapped her pen on her leg. “Amnesia isn’t uncommon in traumatic situations; however, it usually wipes out all memories prior to the critical incident. You have memories of college, correct?”

“Yes.” Her response was a whisper. She was emotional and overwhelmed. Her tremors were getting worse.

“Mariah.” John shifted closer. “You need to breathe.”

The doctor noticed how her patient was coming apart and got to her feet, setting her pad aside and coming over to kneel in front of her. “Take my hands.” She held out both hands and the young woman gripped them tightly. “Does this happen a lot?” Her question was directed at the Colonel.

“It’s happened a couple of times, when things become too much for her.” He answered simply. He didn’t like talking about Mariah like she wasn’t there, but she didn’t acknowledge them as the panic tried to take over.

“Mariah, keep holding my hands and take ten deep breaths through your nose and out your mouth. Focus on the air going in and out of your body and nothing else.” Angie urged. She was afraid she was going to have to sedate the traumatized young woman, then she relaxed. Her patient was doing as directed. The tremors abated and her hands loosened. “Very good. How do you feel?” She let her hands drop away as she waited for a response.

“Better.” Mariah muttered. She ducked her head. She was embarrassed, but she couldn’t seem to control her panic attacks.

“Good. I think we’re going to have to change tactics.” The psychologist rose and returned to her chair putting her notebook back in her lap.

“What do you mean, Doctor?” Sheppard asked.

“Usually, I start with the initial trauma and try to work through it, before addressing the residuals. But I believe in this case, it would be better to work back from this point to the trauma.”

“I think that might… be wise.” Mariah added to the conversation. She had returned to normal.

Dr. Bennett wrote for a few minutes on her pad, then prompted her patient. “You’ve been on the road for five years, traveling from the Bay area to Colorado Springs. Why don’t you tell me about that and some of the places you’ve been? We’ll go from there.”

*****

“You rang, Carter?”

“Yes, sir.” The astrophysicist turned and smiled at her former team leader. “I just got off the phone with the detective handling Mariah’s missing person’s case and the person who reported her missing.”

O’Neill checked the non-existent watch on his wrist. “Little early on the West coast.” He stepped further into her lab and leaned on the central work table. “Anything of interest?”

“Quite a bit, sir.”

“Let’s drop the sirs for the present since it’s just the two of us.” When she didn’t object, he continued. “Are you going to share?”

“Right. Just a second. I took some notes while I was on the phone.” She fiddled with her laptop.

“Of course, you did.” He rounded the table to stand beside her and scanned the screen of her computer. “That’s a lot of notes, Sam.”

“I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss anything important.” She skimmed through what she’d typed up. “All right. Detective Pickett was overjoyed when I called him and said we’d found Mariah.”

“I’m sure he was simply happy to close an open case.”

“It wasn’t only that, si….” She caught herself and earned a grin from the General. “Jack. After the original missing person’s report was made, the man who made it would call every few months to see if there were any updates. That went on for the first two years.”

“Then what happened?” O’Neill was intrigued.

“The guy took over the LA branch of a major law firm and had a slew of in-house detectives. That correlates with the documents McKay and I found, which stated a law firm reported her missing.” She looked up at him. “When that change occurred, they started calling Pickett weekly… for the last three years.”

“I bet that got old fast.” He chuckled.

Carter grinned. “Exactly. He was so excited to be done with Mariah’s case, he gave me the guy’s contact number and said I could make the notification.”

“Foisting his responsibilities off on you? Doesn’t sound like that good of a detective.” The General hated people who didn’t do what they were supposed to and left other people to clean up their messes.

“Pickett said he was closing Mariah’s case and moving on with his life. I asked if he wanted to speak with her. He said no and hung up.” She shrugged at her friend.

“Ass.” Jack muttered and shook his head. Sam chuckled. “Did the call with the person who reported her missing go better?”

“Yes, I spoke to a gentleman named Angel.”

“Angel? Really?”

“I couldn’t make this up, Jack. He was relieved when I told him Mariah had been found and was safe. He talked about coming to see her for himself, but also mentioned discussing it with some of his people, including his lead counsel. He’s going to call me back either later today or tomorrow to confirm the plan and schedule a meeting with Mariah.” She waited for her superior to digest what she’d told him.

“You didn’t tell him where she was staying or anything, did you?”

“No. I didn’t want him or anyone else to show up and upset Mariah. She’s been through enough.”

O’Neill nodded. “Do you know if Mitchell spoke to Davis?”

“Yes, he swung by on his way to the gym and told me they chatted. Paul’s standing by to report here, if and when you need him.”

“Good, I feel we’re definitely going to need him.” He gave a heavy sigh.

“Um, sir?”

“I thought we already talked about this, Carter.”

“I think someone’s looking for you, sir.” Sam pointed behind him.

The Director of Homeworld Security swung around and swore. “Jesus, Walter, don’t do that.”

“Sorry, sir. I didn’t want to interrupt.” Sergeant Harriman stepped into the lab. “I’ve been trying to find you for the last two hours, sir.”

“Why didn’t you radio me?” Jack reached for his ear and discovered nothing there.

The Gate tech held out his hand, where an earbud was sitting on his palm. “You left it in the control room, sir.”

“Right.” The former leader of SG-1 snatched the radio away from the other man and put it in his ear. “What did you need, Walter?”

“General Landry’s looking for you, sir. He’d like you to come by his office as soon as I located you.” The NCO informed his superior.

“Shit. Tell him you didn’t find me. You never saw me.” O’Neill hurried towards the door and disappeared out into the hall.

“General O’Neill!! Sir!!!” Walter yelled after the other man, then turned to the Colonel.

Sam chuckled. “Don’t look at me, Sergeant. I have no idea what he’s up to, though I could probably guess.” She shook her head, a grin plastered on her face. “I believe he was due back in D.C. last night. Someone probably figured out he isn’t where he’s supposed to be and wants him to report in.” She got up from her stool and approached the Gate tech.

“Ma’am, what should I do?”

“You’re stuck between two generals. Keep your head down and play dumb. It’s probably for the best.”

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you.” Harriman nodded his head and departed.

Carter chuckled. She might not still be on the same team as Jack, but was pleased he was still around to amuse her and keep everyone on their toes.

*****

“I think that’s the last of it. Are you sure we need all of this? Shaft usually orders in for dinner and eats lunch on base.” Sheppard shared as he dropped the last of the grocery sacks on the table. Mariah was busy putting stuff away, cramming things into the fridge, cabinets and pantry, wherever they might fit.

“I thought I could… make dinner.”

“You do more than just breakfast?” He commented as he unloaded the bags he’d just brought in, then he smirked when she turned to roll her eyes at him.

“It’s not rocket science. Though I don’t think… I’d want Dr. McKay cooking… for us.”

“I’ll be sure to tell Rodney you said that.” He laughed at the glare that earned him.

The young woman walked over to him and lightly hit his shoulder, before picking up a few things to put into the fridge. “I’m just going to make a simple… marinara with boxed pasta. Not too complicated.” She’d left a few things on the counter, likely the items she would need to make the meal she just described.

“I’m sure it’ll be great.” He slid into a chair at the table and watched her put the rest of the groceries away. “How are you doing?”

“Are you referring… to my appointment?” She asked without looking at him.

“Yeah, there were a lot of ups and downs.” He hadn’t been sure she was going to make it through the whole hour of therapy, but once Dr. Bennett changed strategies, things improved and Mariah was able to speak about her experiences. He had the opportunity to hear about how she’d gotten a few of her wounds, including her most recent one. He had no idea life on the streets was so harrowing.

“I’m okay. I like Angie. She’s easy to… talk to.” She had a pot out and was pouring some of the canned tomatoes they bought into it, along with some fresh herbs and a few spices. She had some other things to put in, but would add them later in the process.

“I’m happy to hear that and you have another appointment on Wednesday. Are you gonna-?”

“You’re safe. I think I can do it… alone.” She gave him a knowing smile. He’d been so uncomfortable during her session and she had no desire to subject him to that again.

John breathed a sigh of relief, but quickly stated. “If you change your mind, tell me.” He would put up with his own discomfort if it helped her. He wanted to give her as much support as possible.

“Will do. What do you-?” It was her turn to be interrupted. 

The Colonel’s phone was ringing. He quickly answered it. “Sheppard.”

“Hello, John.”

He smiled. “Elizabeth. Aren’t you supposed to be taking some well-deserved time off?”

“I am, then a little birdie told me you were causing some excitement, on and off base.”

“I’ll threaten him with a lemon later.” They both laughed. He knew Rodney was the only person who would’ve tattled on him to the expedition leader. “I actually want you to meet Mariah. I think you’ll like her.” He saw the woman in question watching him. He pointed at his phone and whispered. “It’s my boss.”

“That’s actually why I called. I wanted to see if the two of you would like to go to lunch. There’s this cute little café a few blocks from my house. It’s usually not too busy during the week at lunchtime. I can text you the address.” Dr. Weir offered.

“That would be great. But let me ask. Just a second.” He muted his phone and spoke to Mariah. “My boss called to see if we’d like to meet her for lunch. What do you say?”

“I… um….” She ducked her head.

“I respect Elizabeth more than any other civilian I’ve ever worked with in my career. I think the two of you would get along great, but I won’t force you to go.” She didn’t deserve to be pressured. Even General O’Neill hadn’t demanded she do anything. He only made suggestions and left the choice to her. He was going to do the same.

“Okay. I’ll go. I’d like… to meet her.” She looked down at herself. “Let me go change.” She scurried out of the kitchen and down the hall.

He called after her. “You look fine, but okay.” He unmuted his phone and spoke to Elizabeth. “Send me the address. We’ll meet you there shortly. She wants to change.” He sighed.

Dr. Weir laughed. “See you soon, John.” She hung up and the call ended.

Sheppard stood and went to put a lid on the pot with the tomatoes in it. He knew they wouldn’t go bad, but didn’t want the prep work Mariah had done to go to waste. He slid the whole pot in the fridge. He waited in the foyer for a few minutes, then heard her returning from the bedroom and turned to face her. It took all his control, but he stopped himself from gaping at her. She was wearing a dress, the first he’d seen her in. It fell to her knees and was cream with blue flowers on the skirt. It had an empire waist, showing the swell of her breasts and one of the scars he’d already seen, and short sleeves that covered her shoulders and a couple inches of her arms. A pair of sandals finished off her ensemble.

“How do I look?” The young woman spun in a circle and stopped when they were facing again.

“You look great, but you didn’t need to dress up for Elizabeth.” He beckoned her forward so they could head out.

“Wanted to make… a good impression. She’s your boss.” She stepped out into the hall and let him lock the door behind them. They made their way to the stairs and walked down to the first floor.

“I doubt you could ever make a bad impression.” His words were rewarded with a warm smile. He grinned back. He was pretty sure Elizabeth and the young woman were going to get along famously.

*****

“Hank….”

General Landry looked up from the paperwork he was doing and smiled. “Jack, I’ve been looking for you.” He got to his feet and rounded his desk, shaking hands with the other man. He ushered him into a visitor’s chair and retook his seat. “But you know that. You’ve been hiding.” The SGC Director was amused. He was used to the other man’s antics and took them in stride, plus sometimes even enjoyed them.

“Why would you think that?”

“Because none of the people I sent to find you could do so and I know for a fact you didn’t leave base.” He pointed up. “I also gave Caldwell strict instructions to notify me if you asked to be beamed anywhere.”

O’Neill shrugged. “I swear I wasn’t hiding or avoiding anyone or anything. So… what did you need?”

“Seems you missed a budget meeting with the President, as well as two special briefings.” Hank patted the red phone on his desk. “I’ve been getting hourly phone calls from the President, trying to locate you. We both know you were supposed to return yesterday afternoon. Any particular reason you didn’t?”

“Not a one. I just thought it would be nice to stay in town, hang out with my old team and some of the Atlantis folks, and turn the whole thing into a mini vacation. I might even extend my stay until the end of next week.” Jack wasn’t looking at his fellow General. They’d known each other long enough that they could tell if/when the other person was lying.

Landry shook his head. “You have responsibilities in Washington, Jack. You can’t play hooky just because you don’t like going to meetings.”

“Meetings with the President are fine. He’s an easy guy to talk to. It’s all that bureaucratic nonsense that I can’t handle. Most of those meetings are pointless.”

“That’s the job though.”

“I never would’ve agreed to be the first Director of Homeworld Security if they’d warned me.”

“That’s why they didn’t.” Hank laughed at the sour expression on the former leader of SG-1’s face. “I heard there was a little bit of excitement yesterday. Something about a Trust mole.”

“Yeah, turns out Dr. Meyers had a snake in his head. We dealt with him and he’s been transported to Area 51 to be debriefed. The NID is trying to determine how much a security threat he’ll be if we let him go.” O’Neill shrugged again. “Dr. Lam is going through his files and will compile a list of all base personnel he met with. Someone has to speak with anyone he treated, so we can determine what type of intel he might have fed the Trust.”

“Carolyn already provided me with the list. I’m in the process of setting up meetings with each of them.” Hank held up a sheet of paper. Once he set it down, he cleared his throat. “Someone also mentioned an uncleared person was seen on base in the company of you, Colonels Mitchell & Sheppard, and Drs. Jackson and Beckett. Anything you want to share with me?”

“Not really.”

“Jack….” Landry was tired of playing games with the other man.

“Hank… it really wasn’t anything important.”

“You may think that, but the IOA got wind of it. Woolsey is here and demanding to speak with and I quote.” He pulled another paper to the middle of desk. “‘An unidentified female, in her twenties with brown hair and eyes caught on multiple security cameras and seen by the MPs at the checkpoints’ end quote.” He gave a heavy sigh. “You may have ordered people not to say anything, but the IOA doesn’t care. They hound our people until they get the information they require and now they want to talk to her. They aren’t going to take no for an answer. And if we don’t comply, they will report back to the Council. I don’t think you’ll like it very much when the leaders of the IOA countries come for your head. Not even the President will be able to save you.”

“I would’ve had her beamed in, but she doesn’t know anything about aliens or the Stargate.” It was O’Neill’s turn to sigh. “Here’s what happened….” He explained to the SCG Director all about the two Colonels taking in an injured young woman and then discovering she had the ATA gene and naquadah in her blood. He shared what happened over the weekend and then wrapped up with a key piece of information. “Beckett assures me she doesn’t currently have a symbiote and there is no scarring on her neck or in her mouth that shows she ever had one. But we’re not mentioning the naquadah thing to anyone at present. She’s a conundrum with memory issues. I want to help her, not only in order for her to get better, but because I hope she’ll want to join the Program and contribute. Also, Sheppard and Mitchell have grown attached and one way or another, she’s going to find out about aliens, spaceships, and wormholes that take you to other planets.”

“That’s all well and good, but Woolsey is still going to want to speak with her. There’s no avoiding it.”

“Fine.” Jack growled. “I’ll find Richard and set something up for tomorrow afternoon. Then I need to catch Mitchell and Daniel when they get back from their mission. Mitchell will have to warn her and I want Danny to do me a favor in the morning.”

“Was that so hard?” Landry asked as he leaned forward. His eyes were twinkling in amusement.

“Yes, it was.” The former leader of SG-1 got to his feet and headed for the door. “Any idea where Woolsey might be?”

“In the office he insisted we give him for his stay. Walter can show you where it is.”

“Bye, Hank. You sure know how to ruin a man’s vacation.”

“That should teach you to not vacation at the place you used to work. Try to stay out of trouble, Jack, at least as long as you’re here. Your trouble usually turns into my headache.”

O’Neill smirked over his shoulder as he went out the door. “No promises.” Then he was gone.

Landry chuckled and sat back in his chair. He wasn’t sure how the other man made general, but it was nice to have him around.

*****

“Something smells good.” Mitchell declared as he came in his front door. He closed and locked it behind him. “I smelled it in the stairwell and it made my mouth water. It was a nice surprise to discover that it was coming from here.” He walked into the kitchen and over to his newest house guest. “What are we having?” He scanned the pots and pan on his stove.

“It started as angel hair with marinara. But John… suggested adding some sausage… to it. There’s also garlic bread… in the oven.” Mariah explained, before dumping the cooked, broken-down and drained sausage into the pot of marinara. “I’ll drop the pasta… once you’ve changed.” She could see he was still in his BDUs.

“Sounds good, just like you do. I take it your appointment went well?” He was studying her. She was back in her lounge pants and one of John’s shirts, but she seemed more relaxed.

“Yes. I’ll tell you… about it after you change.”

“Sure. Um, where’s Shep?” He didn’t see the other man anywhere.

“Taking a shower. He went for… a run and was… all sweaty.” She shared.

“Then I’ll change in a minute. I need to talk to you about what I saw this morning. Did Shep-?”

“He was in bed with me… because he offered to help… and I accepted.”

“He told you?”

“Yes… he didn’t want you… to surprise me with it.” She stirred her sauce.

“I want to be clear; you don’t owe us ANYTHING. If you feel he crossed a line, all you have to do is tell me.” Cam didn’t want there to be any confusion. He and John might have known each other for years, but he would kick him out and report him if his attention was unwelcome, or made her uncomfortable.

Mariah sighed and set the spoon aside. She turned to face the Colonel. “John makes me feel… safe. So do you. I slept better last night… than I have in a long time… maybe ever.” She tilted her head from side to side, trying to properly word what she wanted to tell him. “We may not have… went to sleep as close as we ended up… but I don’t mind. He didn’t try anything. We just slept.”

“All right.” He nodded at her. “If you’re sure, I’ll drop it. But if anything changes, you tell me. I assume this is going to continue.”

“Only if he offers. I don’t want to seem needy… or demanding.” She shrugged and went back to her sauce.

Taking that as the end of their conversation, the leader of SG-1 started towards the hall, but paused when he saw Sheppard standing there. It was obvious he had heard his discussion with the young woman, but decided not to interject or defend himself. He respected his friend for that. They nodded to each other and he continued by him to his bedroom. It only took a few minutes for him to clean up and change, then he was back in the kitchen. Mariah poured the pasta into the pot as soon as she saw him and then took the garlic bread out of the oven to cut up. His fellow pilot was getting drinks and silverware on the table. Plates were already set out on the counter, waiting for the food to be dished up. Soon the pasta was done and drained and everything else was ready. They all sat down to eat.

“This is really good, Mariah.” Mitchell declared after a few bites. “How’d you make the sauce so smooth?”

“You mean evening out… the acidity?” She asked after wiping her mouth off with her napkin. The Colonel nodded. “A little bit of honey.”

“That’s a nifty trick. I’ll have to see if Momma knows that one.” Cam took a deep breath and asked. “Tell me about your appointment.” He thought it best to dive in and see how the day went before he talked with her about the plan for the next day.

“It started a little… bumpy, but improved from there.” The young woman responded without going into detail.

John added his two-cents. “She had a panic attack when she tried to talk about what happened at Stanford, so Dr. Bennett changed tactics and asked about her time on the streets. That was easier for her to discuss.” He’d tell the other man about what he learned later.

“You were with her during the appointment?” Mitchell wasn’t overly surprised that she’d wanted him there. It was obvious she desired support after not having it for so long.

“Yeah, and I’m glad, too. When she starting panicking, the doctor taught us a technique to calm her down.”

“Can you show me?” With Sheppard going back to Pegasus, he would need to know what to do to help her.

“Sure.” The Atlantis military commander didn’t mind in the least, but he was hopeful she would eventually stop having them.

“Do you have another appointment set up?” The leader of SG-1 prodded before taking a few more bites of his dinner.

Mariah nodded. “Wednesday morning, same time.” She appreciated the psychologist’s willingness to see her before her normal hours. It saved her from having to deal with other people.

“That’s good. General O’Neill asked me to talk to you about a couple of things that are going to happen tomorrow. One is highly encouraged, the other he wasn’t able to get you out of.” Cam had a frown on his face as he sat back in his chair and stared at her.

“What’s the highly encouraged thing?” She wasn’t upset or worried, merely curious.

“He’d like you to go on a little field trip with Dr. Jackson in the morning.” He gestured at his fellow pilot. “Shep is welcome to tag along.”

“What kind of field trip?” She was suspicious.

“All I’m allowed to tell you is to think of it as a recon mission and to be ready to go at 0900.”

“That’s not very helpful… Cam.” She sighed and went back to eating She didn’t miss the fact that Mitchell chuckled and provided her with no further information.

John spoke up after a moment. “What’s the thing he couldn’t get her out of?”

“Mr. Woolsey from the Oversight Committee found out about her visit to the Mountain and wants to speak with her. The General’s arranging for him to come here tomorrow afternoon.” Mitchell explained.

“Here?” Mariah was startled. She wasn’t ready to deal with strangers in the space where she finally felt safe again. All the people she’d met thus far at the apartment were friends with the two pilots and she knew they weren’t likely to try to hurt her.

“Actually, you’ll be outside in the courtyard green space.” Cam clarified. The General had suggested it and he was now glad that he had. It was hard to miss the unease his initial comment had caused her.

She sagged in relief at his reply. Sheppard gave her a supportive smile. Then another question came to her. “Oversight Committee?”

“It’s an international organization that makes sure everything we do is above board and doesn’t put people at risk. Mr. Woolsey’s a pencil-pusher. He’ll likely show up in a suit with a briefcase and will be formal, firm and emotionless.” The leader of SG-1 shared.

She thought about what he said. “I assume I should keep my answers… succinct.”

The Colonels laughed. She was very intuitive. Mitchell responded. “That would be wise. O’Neill’s going to discuss that exact point before you met with Woolsey, but I’m glad you already figured it out. If you start talking about people feeling warm and safe, well, let’s just say, McKay’s friendly urge to run some experiments would seem like a vacation compared to what the oversight folks would want from you.”

“Right.” The young woman nodded and got to her feet. “I need to do the… dishes.”

“I don’t think so.” Cam shook his head and pointed towards the couch. “You go relax. You cooked for us, the least we can do in return is clean up.” She smiled brightly at his suggestion, left her plate on the table and headed into the living room. Once she was gone, the two men got to work and shared a look when they heard the TV come on. Mariah was fitting in perfectly.

*****

Slipping into the bathroom, Mariah set her clothes on the counter and gazed into the mirror. She let out a tired sigh. She was starting to feel normal again and was falling into a routine with Sheppard and Cam. But after having slept well the night before, she was thankful to not have fallen asleep in front of the TV. That gave her a chance to actually get ready for bed. She’d let John have the bathroom first while she gathered her things. Then they’d switched places. However, before she did anything else, she just wanted to sit for a moment and think about everything that happened over the last three days in private. She took a seat on the closed toilet and bowed her head.

Sadly, she wasn’t as alone as she thought she was; her ghostly stalker was back, leaning against the closed door and watching her. She was oblivious to his presence like all the times before.

*Sorry about the rough morning you had.*

He squatted down so he could see her face.

*There are some things you're never going to remember, at least not in this lifetime, but that’s the way it has to be in order to give you what you asked for.*

He chuckled.

*You’ve always been stubborn. I think it’s an asset, but not everyone feels that way. You never give up and that strong spirit of yours will help you heal, faster than people think you’re capable of.*

He reached out as if to touch her, but didn’t. She lifted her head and looked around, then got to her feet. He stood as well.

*You’re already better. Talking more, feeling safe and relaxed, and taking chances. There will be a few more setbacks, but you’ll overcome them. And I’ll be there watching over you through it all.*

He turned as if to leave and faded away.

Mariah took her hair out of the ponytail she had it in and ran both hands through it, loosening it up and massaging her scalp at the same time. Then she quickly changed into her pajamas, brushed her teeth and splashed water on her face. With her dirty clothes over her arm, she opened the door to discover John standing there. She took a step back and stared at him.

“Didn’t mean to startle you.” He gave her a grin. He was dressed in the same clothes he’d changed into after his post-run shower. “I wanted to see if you’d like me to sleep with you again.” She chuckled and he realized how that sounded. “That’s not what I meant. I meant-.”

“It’s all right.” She set a hand on his arm. “I know what you meant. I’d… I’d like that. Getting good sleep is… a blessing. One I’m very… thankful for.”

Sheppard breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m glad I can help. Come on.” He gestured towards the guest room and then ushered her down the hall. She took care of her clothes and crawled into bed. The Colonel shut off the overhead light and quickly joined her after closing the bedroom door. He started to lay on his back like the night before, but thought for a moment. Screw it. He switched off the bedside lamp and shifted closer to her, until his front was against her back and his arms were around her waist. He knew even if he started out as far away from her on the mattress as he could get that he would simply drift into her orbit during the night and end up like they were now. It was better to just go with it.

“Night, John.” She whispered as she snuggled into him.

“Night, Mariah.” He murmured back, his face nestled against her neck. He felt her relax and eventually fall asleep. He was only moments behind her.

Chapter Text

John had been awake for almost an hour, but was still in bed. He’d awoken the moment the bedroom door opened and Mitchell popped his head in before he left for the Mountain. Their eyes had locked and held a full conversation in just a few seconds. With a nod of his head, the leader of SG-1 had left, closing the door behind him. Sheppard was still in bed because Mariah was in his arms and he didn’t want to chance waking her. She deserved the opportunity to sleep undisturbed. Sometime during the night, she’d turned in his arms and they were now chest to chest, her head tucked under his chin. It was an odd position in which to find himself. Most of his relationships hadn’t lasted long enough for him to figure out if he enjoyed cuddling or not. His longest relationship had been his marriage to Nancy and she disliked being in contact with him while they slept because he ran hot. Also, they spent more time apart than they had together due to his frequent deployments with the Air Force. However, Mariah didn’t seem to have a problem with his body temperature. He wasn’t sure if it was because she hadn’t always been able to stay warm while on the streets or if she missed the human contact. He’d have to ask her, if he ever got up the nerve to do so.

Right before he could try to slip away, he felt the young woman stir. He pulled back and looked down at her. Her eyes blinked open and she smiled up at him.

“Morning.” She whispered.

“Morning. How’d you sleep?” He inquired as he loosened his grip on her, but she didn’t move away from him.

“No nightmares or unpleasant… feelings, so really well.” She quirked her head. “How long have you… been up?”

“Since Shaft left for work. I didn’t want to wake you by getting out of bed.”

“You could’ve woken me. What time… is it?”

“It’s almost 0800. We need to get up soon. Dr. Jackson will be here in an hour.” He offered. He could see the clock on the table on her side of the bed.

“Right….” She lowered her gaze for a moment and stated. “Thank you for sleeping with me. I know you aren’t… big on… physical contact.”

“Why do you say that?” He was curious how she’d figure that out.

“Most of your friends… and Cam’s… don’t touch you. Not even a… pat on the back. They let you… initiate contact… and it’s never for long.” She chuckled. “Except for Elizabeth… she hugged you, but I could tell… you were uncomfortable.”

Sheppard was impressed. “You’re observant. Most people don’t notice.”

“Had to be.” She shrugged and looked up at him again. “On the streets… if you aren’t… it can be deadly.”

“Then I’m very glad you are.” He was enjoying their chat and wanted it to continue even though they really needed to get up. “Where’d you learn to cook?” She gave him a questioning look and he explained. “You have no issues make a nice breakfast and that marinara/Bolognese from last night was excellent. I know you said it wasn’t rocket science, but you had to have learned somewhere.”

“I don’t remember.” She replied. “I was thinking about what… would be nice for dinner… and the ingredients I needed… for a nice sauce… came to me. My old place… it had a kitchen… but I don’t remember… ever using it.” She gave him a pained smile.

“Maybe Dr. Bennett will be able to help you remember more.”

“I can only hope.” Mariah shifted back and studied him. “I didn’t ask you… how’d you sleep?”

He smiled. “Pretty good, especially since I’m not on call and no one is trying to kill me.” While that was true, he was loath to admit he enjoyed sleeping with her, purely platonically, of course.

“Is it dangerous… where you’re stationed?” She didn’t know much about his posting, other than it was cushier than some of his previous assignments and there were a mix of military and civilian personnel.

“It can be, but even when it doesn’t seem to be, I have to be on alert. Plus, since I’m the military commander, I’m on call 24/7 when I’m on base.” He moved away from her a couple more inches, but kept a hand on her arm, his thumb rubbing her bicep gently. 

She nodded. He couldn’t tell her much, which made her all the more motivated to do what she needed to do to join the program he and Cam were a part of. Then she’d know exactly what dangers he faced and maybe she could help, in her own way.

“While it would be nice to spend all day in bed, we should get up.” John declared, removing his hand from her arm and using it to rub the back of his neck. Without waiting for her response, he rolled away from her and out of bed. “If you don’t mind, I’ll grab the bathroom first, then I can get started on breakfast while you finish getting ready.” He was already at the dresser, pulling clothes from the bottom drawer.

“I don’t mind.” She was still in bed, but had shifted to her other side so she could watch him.

“Great.” With clothes in hand, he gave her a forced smile and fled the room. He locked himself in the bathroom and leaned against the counter, taking deep breaths. For first time in a long time, he knew exactly what he was feeling. He wanted to embrace it, but couldn’t. There were multiple things working against him, first was the fact that he was leaving in ten days for Atlantis, second, getting attached wasn’t fair to either of them, because of the distance and the fact she didn’t know about what he did for a living, and third, he sucked at relationships of all kinds. He didn’t speak to his father or brother any more, save a few interactions with the family law firm working as an intermediary. His marriage to Nancy had crashed and burned because his work was his life. Most of his good friends were dead, missing, or were in a similar line of work, meaning they were in the same constant danger he was. And the few romantic partners he’d had since his divorce could barely be called relationships, mainly hook-ups or long weekends. Also, Mariah likely felt indebted to him and Mitchell for helping her, though he’d seen no evidence she was nearly as close with his fellow pilot as she was to him.

With a final deep, calming breath, John pushed aside what he was feeling, though it was still simmering beneath the surface. He would continue to help Mariah while she was getting back on her feet, but he needed to tamp down on having anything more than a friendship with her. He would treat her like he did any of his friends. It was the right thing to do, no matter how bad it felt.

*****

“Welcome to the University of Colorado, Colorado Springs campus.” Daniel swept his hand out in front of him and smiled at the young woman beside him.

Mariah scanned the area and did her best to take it all in. The campus was nestled near the mountains and was a mixture of red brick buildings and green spaces. They were standing on a pedestrian walkway near the campus clocktower and there weren’t many other people around. It was summer, so most of the students weren’t there, just the few who were taking summer classes. Dr. Jackson had picked her and John up a few minutes past 9am and driven them across town without telling them anything about where they were going. She was pretty sure she’d figured it out as they drew nearer, but sat back to wait for Daniel’s big reveal. It turned out she’d been right.

“What do you think?” The archeologist asked as he studied her. Then he glanced behind them to see where the Colonel was. He was about twenty feet from them with his head on a swivel. He’d been quiet the whole car ride and that concerned Jackson, but he’d worry about it later.

“It’s beautiful, but… why are we here?”

“Well, Jack mentioned you going back to school. And while UCCS isn’t Stanford, it’s still a good school. I know a few professors here and consult with them from time to time.” He adjusted his glasses. “I wanted to get your thoughts about coming here to finish your education.”

“I don’t know.” She took a couple steps away from him and spun around. It was a lovely place to go to school and vastly different from where she previously went. But there was a concerning issue standing in her way. “I’m not the same person… I was… five years ago. I don’t know if… I can do this again. Isn’t there… a community college… or something?”

“Don’t think like that, Mariah.” Daniel hurried over to her and put a hand on her arm. “You’re bright and resilient. You’re going to get better and you’ll have the support of my team, and Jack, and John and his friends. A support system will do wonders for your mental health.”

“Still….” She was torn and could really use John’s opinion, but after waking up together, he’d become a bit distant. She had an inkling about what was wrong, however, she didn’t get a chance to speak with him about it before they left the apartment. It made her sad that their closeness was suddenly gone.

“Sam showed me what was on your laptop and I read all your papers and the prelim work you’d done for your proposed dissertations. It was excellent and intriguing, which is exactly what research should be. I have no concerns about you going back to school. But at the end of the day, the decision is yours.” He watched her walk further down the sidewalk and opted to let her have a few moments. Using the opportunity, he turned and marched up to the Colonel. “What’s wrong, John?” He didn’t have time to beat around the bush.

“What are you talking about, doc?” Surprise flashed across his face before he slammed on a mask of indifference.

“Since you and Cam took Mariah in, you have always stayed within touching distant of her, giving her support and comfort in equal measure, but today, you’re as far away from her as you can get while being in range to protect her from outside threats. What’s changed?”

“Nothing.”

Jackson sighed and massaged his forehead. “Would you like me to hazard a guess as to what’s wrong?” He might not have trusted the young woman as quickly as his teammates, but he was known to be much more in tune with his emotions as well as other people’s. It was pretty clear to him what was going on.

“Not really.” Sheppard shrugged, then added. “Since nothing’s wrong.”

“You’re worried.” The archeologist blurted out, then his voice dropped to a whispered. “About what’s going to happen when you go back to Atlantis. If she gets too used to you and then you’re suddenly not there, you’re worried about what that’s going to do to her.”

“It’s a legitimate concern.” It didn’t seem worth it to deny what the other man had figured out, even when it was only part of the story.

“But you seem to forget, you aren’t supporting her alone. Cam, me, the rest of our team and even Jack are going to be there to make sure she’s okay. And while you might be going to another galaxy, there are still mechanisms in place for you to stay in touch, John. I want you to think about that. But one thing you can’t do while mulling it over is shut her out. That will do more damage than you leaving will.”

“Copy.” Sheppard responded with a curt nod. He had a lot to consider, but he actually appreciate the outside opinion, especially since he hadn’t had to bring it up.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Without waiting for him to say anything else, Daniel hurried back to Mariah, leaving a pensive Sheppard behind. He smiled at the young woman as he came up alongside her. “So?”

“It’s a big decision.” Her eyes swept over the beautiful campus again and she sighed. She was facing away from the Colonel and had missed their hushed conversation. “Can I… have some time?”

“Of course, but if you don’t have any objections, I’m going to try to get a copy of your Stanford transcripts sent here and speak to a few people about what we would need to do to get your enrolled into the proper degree programs. Okay?”

“Sure. It would be… nice to know… if it’s even… possible, or if I’d… have to start over.”

“Perfect.” He grabbed her elbow and walked forward, guiding her along. “But since we’re here, why don’t we take a look around.” He was rewarded with a big grin. He was positive things were going to work out, on all fronts.

*****

“I’ve coming bearing gifts.” McKay declared as soon as John opened the front door for him. Just like during his previous visit, he pushed his way inside without waiting to be invited or giving his team leader a chance to step aside.

“Hello to you, too, Rodney.” Sheppard shook his head and closed the door. He turned and glared at his teammate. “What are you doing here?”

“I bought Mariah a couple of things and wanted to give them to her. Where is she?”

“Out on the balcony.” The Colonel pointed into the living room at the sliding glass doors. Once they’d gotten back and she changed, she’d gone out there without a word to him. It had stung, even given the fact he’d being keeping his distance from her all morning. But after talking with Dr. Jackson, he felt like maybe he’d overcorrected and hurt her. Her actions only confirmed that. He’d fix it before the day was over.

“Get her while I unpack this.” The physicist set his satchel on the kitchen table and began pulling things out of it. He expected his friend to do as he demanded.

With a sigh, John went to the doors, slid one open and popped his head out. Her head went up at the intrusion and he spoke to her without preamble. “Rodney’s here to see you. Also, it’s almost lunchtime. We should eat, then get ready for your meeting with Woolsey.”

The young woman nodded and got to her feet. She waited for him to step back, then slipped through the door into the apartment, avoiding any contact with him. “Hello, Dr. McKay.” She said in greeting as she approached the scientist.

“You can just call me, Rodney. Come see what I brought you.” He beckoned her over without even looking at her, but he glanced to the side when she stopped next to him. He gestured at the stuff on the table. “I got these for you.” On the table were two items, a large box with a laptop sitting on top of it and a smaller box with the picture of a phone on it.

“What about my… laptop that I… gave Daniel?” She questioned. The new more recent model called to her, but she resisted. She’d held on to that old laptop for a long time and lugged it around with her; she was a bit attached to it.

“Antiquated at best. Also, Carter and I couldn’t get it to boot. We had to take the hard drive out and directly upload it to another machine to access the data.” He explained. “All your data has already been loaded onto this machine, even has the same file structure and names.”

“You didn’t have to… do this.”

McKay waved her off. “It was nothing. I hope you don’t mind, but I read some of your stuff. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather study a real science like physics or mathematics or even chemistry or biology?”

“Rodney!” Sheppard hissed at his teammate.

“What??” The physicist glared over his shoulder at the Colonel. “Like I said last time, she’s reasonably intelligent and I don’t want that intelligence to go to waste, so sue me.”

Mariah had a hand over her mouth and was fighting not to laugh at them, but she was unable to disguise her smile. Seeing her happy pleased both men. She stroked the top of the shiny new computer with her other hand and after getting herself under control, said. “Thank you. I can’t wait… to use it.”

“Great. I also got you this.” He pulled the lid off the smaller box and grabbed the phone out of it, offering it to her. She took it from him. “Sam programmed a few numbers in it for you; hers, Mitchell’s, Jackson’s, O’Neill’s and the Ops Center at the Mountain, but that last number is for emergencies only.”

“Okay.” She studied the device in her hand. It was fancier than any cellphone she’d had before, but technology had changed a lot in the last five years. The laptop was the same way. She could tell without even picking it up that it was lighter and slimmer than her old one. “I really appreciate… all of this.”

“It’s nothing. The Air Force pays me well and I hardly spend any of it since we’re stationed so far from civilization. I like putting it to use.” He wasn’t altruistic by nature, but it felt good to do his part to help her. He’d also seen how his friend was with the young woman and knew he’d appreciate it, even if he was acting weird right now. He hadn’t missed the fact that Sheppard was keeping his distance from them, but really, it wasn’t any of his business and what did he know. He had the emotional intelligence of a goldfish, not that he’d ever admit that to anyone.

“Would you like to… stay for lunch?” Mariah asked, after glancing briefly at John. She slipped the phone in her pocket.

“I could eat, plus I can prep you for your meeting with Woolsey.” He watched the young woman wander into the kitchen. 

“How do you know about Woolsey coming to speak with her?” The Atlantis military commander asked as he joined Rodney at the table. His eyes hadn’t left Mariah though.

“Carter told me, obviously, and she likely heard it from O’Neill. What’s up with you?” McKay questioned as he turned to face the other man.

“Nothing.”

“You’re acting weird.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“What are you, twelve?”

“Stop avoiding the question.”

“I’m doing no such thing.”

“You are….” The physicist trailed off when he heard someone clearing their throat. He looked back into kitchen and saw Mariah staring at them. “Um, yes?”

“Sandwiches okay?”

“That’s great. Let me help.” Rodney hurried over and took the things she pulled out of the fridge, setting them on the counter. Just like he’d thought before, it wasn’t any of his business, but he was now determined to figure out what was wrong with John before he left. He knew he could do it; he was a genius after all.

*****

“Are you ready?”

“I think so.” The young woman was wringing her hands and breathing shallowly.

“There’s no reason to be nervous.” Jack set his hands on Mariah’s shoulders and their eyes met.

“Sorry, Rodney practiced… some questions he might… ask me.” She took a deep breath. She needed to keep the pauses to a minimum while talking with the oversight person. “He made it seem like this… would be an interrogation… more than an interview.”

“Ignore what McKay said. You have nothing to be worried about. Mitchell and I already spoke to him and gave him a breakdown of what happened. All you have to do is tell him the truth, but without a lot of detail.” O’Neill offered.

“Succinct answers, I know. Nothing about… people being warm… or cold.”

“Exactly.” He smiled at her. “Plus, Sheppard and I are going to be right there with you. Right, Sheppard?”

“Yes, sir.” The Colonel responded. He was a step behind his superior and to the right.

“See, nothing to worry about. Why don’t you go take a seat at the picnic table and I’ll go wait for Woolsey to get here, sound good?” He gave her a bright smile.

“Okay, Jack.” She tried to smile back, but it fell flat. She turned and walked into the green space behind Cam’s building. John stayed right behind her. They were dressed vastly different. Sheppard was in his dark BDUs, while she was in black slacks with a button-up blouse and a black blazer. The one thing that stood out was the fact that she was barefoot. The Colonel looked like he was going to touch her, but stopped at the last minute, keeping his hands by his sides.

The General shook his head and marched around the building to the front entrance. He’d told Richard to meet him there. Ten minutes later, a large black SUV pulled up to the building and the back door opened. 

The IOA representative climbed out, straightening his suit once he was on the sidewalk. He spoke to the driver through the open door, while he grabbed his briefcase. “I’ll contact you when I’m ready to be picked up.”

“Yes, sir.” Came the curt reply. Once the door was closed, the SUV drove away.

“Richard.” Jack said in greeting.

“General. Where’s Ms. Gray?” There was no reason to dawdle; they both knew he had a job to do and the sooner he did it, the sooner he’d be able to leave them in peace.

“This way.” The Director of Homeworld Security strode back in the direction he’d come from, expecting Woolsey to follow him. As he entered the green space, he saw Mariah sitting at the table while Sheppard stood behind her. They weren’t talking or interacting, and he found that weird. Once he reached them, he indicated the opposite side of the table from the young woman. “Please have a seat.” He slid in next to Mariah, while the IOA rep got settled.

Once he was, Richard smiled across the table. “Ms. Gray, I’m Richard Woolsey. I provide oversight to the program that Colonels Mitchell and Sheppard are a part of and have been directed to speak to you about what happened two days ago.” He set his briefcase on the table and flipped it open, pulling a notebook and pen from inside.

“General O’Neill told me as much.” She took a deep breath and sat up straighter. John took a step closer to her, but she didn’t acknowledge his change in position. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She had a soft smile on her lips.

“The pleasure is mine.” He flipped his notebook open and quickly found the right page. “I’d like to start by confirming some information I’ve already been given and we’ll go from there. Is that acceptable?”

“Yes.” 

“Excellent. In speaking with General O’Neill and Colonel Mitchell, I’ve gathered you’ve been homeless for the last five years. Is that correct?”

“Not exactly. I was living on the streets… after choosing to leave behind… the place I lived. I wasn’t homeless… in the traditional sense of the word.” Mariah replied.

“Thank you for the clarification. You were in college before that?”

“Yes, at Stanford.”

“That’s quite the accomplishment.” Richard offered as he jotted down a few notes.

“As Dr. McKay told me earlier… I’m reasonably intelligent.”

“You should take that as a compliment. From what I’ve heard, he rarely says anything nice to anybody.” He looked over the rims of his glasses at her and grinned.

“He’s an acquired taste… but I appreciate his honesty.”

“Of course, of course.”

“May I ask you a question… Mr. Woolsey?” Mariah asked. She was trying her best to pause at appropriate moments. She didn’t want to paint herself in the wrong light with the man across from her. He could get her new friends in trouble and she would hate if that happened.

“Since I’m rarely asked any, I welcome the new experience.” His joking comment earned him a chuckle from the young woman.

“What was your profession… prior to doing oversight?” He didn’t seem to be the normal bureaucrat, or pencil-pusher like Cam had said the night before.

“I’m a lawyer by trade. Harvard Law Review, chief counsel to the Army Corps of Engineers and I did appeals and litigation for a few firms in New York.” Richard declared proudly.

“Ah, a learned man.” She and Woolsey both laughed that time, like it was a private joke. “I’m sorry for the tangent. We should get back to… your questions. Please, go ahead.”

“Right.” He flipped through his notebook again. He was flustered, but quickly found his place. “Can you please explain to me how you came to visit Cheyenne Mountain?”

“It all started on Friday evening.” She paused and felt John come even closer, so close that she could feel the heat of his body. He placed a hand on her back in support, but it caused her to stiffen. “Colonel Sheppard spotted me walking… along a back road… and offered me a ride.”

“And you accepted?” Richard prodded. She nodded. “That was a risky choice to make.”

“Not so much… given how things turned out.” She gestured at herself.

“Point taken. And then what?” The IOA rep was diligently taking notes.

“He invited me to dinner… with him and Colonel Mitchell. I ate well… something that hadn’t happened… in a few years. Then… I was offered… a safe place to sleep.”

“At Colonel Mitchell’s apartment?” Woolsey asked.

“Yes.” She nodded for emphasis and took a deep breath. “Colonel Sheppard is… staying there as well. They bought me a few… necessities and welcomed me in.”

“And why put yourself into such a dangerous situation? You knew nothing about either man and for all you knew they were taking you some place to do you harm.”

Mariah smiled despite his insinuation. “For two reasons… one, after five years… on the streets… I’ve learned to read people… and their intentions.”

“And the second?” There was no judgement on Richard’s face as he listened to her story.

“The waitress at the bar… told me Colonel Mitchell… was an honorable man… which meant Colonel Sheppard… was likely the same.” She stole a glance at Jack. He was already watching her as she spoke and smiled at her encouragingly. “And it turned out… my instincts and her comment… were correct.”

“So, it would seem.” Woolsey agreed. “And then?”

“I came here.” She gestured at the building. “I cleaned up… threw away some of my… grungy clothes… and did laundry. Then Colonel Sheppard… discovered I was hurt.”

“How did that happen, Colonel?” The IOA rep lifted his gaze to the Atlantis military commander and waited for a response. He hadn’t had the the chance to speak with the Colonel since he was on leave.

“I found a bloody bandage in the trashcan in the bathroom. I asked her about it and she showed me her wound. I then called Dr. Beckett and asked him to come treat her, since she didn’t want to go to the hospital.”

Richard nodded and wrote down some more notes. “How did you become injured, Ms. Gray?”

“Please… call me, Mariah.” He nodded and met her eyes, waiting for her answer. She gave a heavy sigh. Her injuries weren’t something she liked to talk about, but she had no choice at present. “As I’m sure you’re aware… living on the streets isn’t necessarily… the safest place to be. Most people are harmless… and a few are even helpful and friendly. However, there are those who are… paranoid, fearful, or… violent just for the hell of it. Someone didn’t appreciate me… being in their territory… and lashed out. I wasn’t quick enough… and ended up… with a wound for my trouble.”

“But you’re all right now?” There was genuine concern in his voice, causing her to smile.

“I’m healing… but still need a little more time… to be healthy.”

“And that’s why you were at the Mountain?”

“Yes, Dr. Beckett asked General O’Neill… on Saturday about giving me… a full exam. He approved the request… and I went in on Sunday. Dr. Beckett discovered I’m anemic… on top of the injury to my side.” She was studying the IOA rep as he wrote more information down in his notebook.

“And you were escorted during your entire visit?”

“Of course, she was, Richard.” O’Neill barked. “By Mitchell, Sheppard, Daniel and Beckett, plus I had MPs outside the infirmary while she was there, in case.” He’d already told the other man that when they had their own conversation the day before about what happened on Sunday.

“I’m aware, General, but I wanted to hear it from her.” Woolsey scanned his notes and nodded. “Everything seems to line up. I’ll file my report with my superiors and we’ll go from there.”

“What’s your recommendation going to be?” Jack asked. The IOA was so loathe to make any type of decision, they usually followed the decisions their representatives made, when they made them.

“That it was an innocent gesture and no further action is needed.” Richard explained.

“Good to hear. We done?” The Director of Homeworld Security wanted the bureaucrat gone so he could check on Mariah and how she was feeling.

“Yes, we are.” He put his notebook and pen away and quickly sent a text on his cell phone. Closing his briefcase, he got to his feet, but he didn’t move away from the table. He held out his hand to the young woman. “It was a delight to meet you, Mariah.”

“Likewise, Mr. Woolsey.” She took the offered hand and they shook.

“Gentlemen.” He nodded his head at the two Air Force officers and departed, heading back to where he was dropped off.

Once he was sure the IOA representative was gone, O’Neill stood and went to the other side of the table where he could clearly see the young woman, while Sheppard sat backwards on the bench in his vacated seat. “That went pretty well. How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” Mariah replied simply.

“How did he feel?” The former leader of SG-1 dug deeper.

“Pretty neutral.” She shrugged.

“What was all that asking him questions and laughing about?” Sheppard interjected. He hadn’t liked the familiarity between her and Woolsey.

The young woman smiled, but didn’t turn to look at the Colonel. She answered his question all the same. “Flattering a man… and flirting with him… are surefire ways… to get on his good side… and have him not see me as a threat.”

“You’re sneaky.”

“No, Jack, I’m adaptive… to the situations I find myself in.”

“Either way, I’m impressed. I don’t think we need to worry about Woolsey and the rest of the oversight people any more, as long as we don’t bring you to the Mountain again.” The General shared.

“I only went… because you told me to.” She continued to smile across the table. She was ignoring how close John was to her. If he wanted distance, she’d give him distance.

“True, now we need to discuss what’s happening the next couple of days.” The Director of Homeworld Security declared.

“I have an appointment tomorrow morning.”

“Yes, and Sheppard will be taking you to that, but in the afternoon, he has something he needs to take care of at the Mountain.”

“Sir?” John didn’t know what he was talking about.

“Little personnel issue. Elizabeth and I will explain when you get there.” His subordinate nodded at him. “While he’s busy, Daniel’s going to keep you company. Then we come to Thursday….” He trailed off, but saw concern in her eyes and continued. “We contacted the person who reported you missing. He’s now the head of a law firm branch in LA. Two of his people are coming to see you late Thursday morning. However, before they arrive, a lawyer who works as part of our program is going to meet with you to discuss how we’re going to handle everything. He’s already received some paperwork from the lead counsel and is going over it.”

“Where are we meeting?” Mariah was nervous about interacting with people who were aware of her old life. She wasn’t the same person and might never be again.

“Mitchell’s apartment. It’ll be you, me, Major Paul Davis, he’s the lawyer who’s part of the program, Mitchell and Sheppard. I know it isn’t ideal to have them there, but Davis thought it best to have you in a comfortable environment. Though, I recommend you wear shoes to that meeting.” O’Neill pointed under the table at her feet.

“The only nice shoes… Sam bought me… are heels. I’m a little… unsteady. I’ll practice walking in them… before the meeting, some time.” For the first time since he sat down, Mariah stole a glance at Sheppard and found that he was staring at her. Returning her focus to the General, she asked. “Is it all right… if I head inside?” She was fingering the key to the apartment in her jacket pocket. Cam had insisted on her having her own copy, so she could come and go as she pleased. 

“Sure, I want to talk with Sheppard for a moment.” Jack watched her get up and start towards the building. His eyes stayed locked on her until she disappeared from sight. He turned back to find the Atlantis military commander facing him at the table. “Start talking, Colonel. I want to know exactly what happened between the two of you.”

*****

Mariah sighed and used the mousepad on her laptop to click on another file. She was laying on the bed in Cam’s guest room and reading through the documents saved on her new computer. She’d retreated to her room as soon as dinner was over and the Colonels began to clean up. She was in her pajamas and all ready for bed. She was sleepy, but forcing herself to stay up a little longer. She needed to continue to establish a routine.

There was another person in the room with her, but she couldn’t see or hear him. It was her shadow, for lack of a better term. He was sitting beside her and reading over her shoulder.

*You’re trying to remember again, aren’t you?*

Her lips moved as she read the words on the screen.

*Your knowledge is all still there. It’s just most of your memories that are gone. The Powers had to be very selective on what they left and what they took.*

She ran a hand through her hair, closed the document and opened another.

*I know you’re angry about certain things that happened today, but you should’ve expected it. Sheppard….*

He chuckled.

*He’s not good with these kind of things, but give him an emergency or a suicide mission and he’s golden.*

He peered at the screen again.

*The two of you will get through it, I promise. He already realizes he did something wrong, but doesn’t know how to talk to you about his concerns.*

She swore under her breath, closed the open document and slammed the lid of her laptop shut. She lifted it, ready to throw it across the room, but thought better of it. She set it on the bedside table and flopped onto her back.

*You might want to call it a night. You’re getting cranky.*

Almost as if she heard him, Mariah got to her feet and headed to the door. She made a move to lock it, but stopped herself. Instead, she turned off the overhead light. When she turned back to the bed, there wasn’t anyone there, not that she ever knew otherwise. She climbed into bed and switched off the lamp next to the bed, plunging the room into darkness. With her head nestled on the pillow, she let sleep pull her under and was out cold in a few minutes.

An unknown amount of time passed, then the young woman was jolted awake and listened for what was the cause. The door knob was jiggling, then the door inched open.

“Mariah….” A male voice whispered.

She knew who it was and sat up, reaching for the lamp. It took her a moment, but eventually, the room was illuminated again. She squinted in the direction of the door. “John?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” The Colonel slipped into the room and shut the door behind him.

“What is it? What… do you need?” Even in her sleep-addled state, she hadn’t forgotten how he’d treated her all day, going from one extreme to the other and back again. She was unsure which John was standing before her.

Sheppard stepped closer to her and the bed. She ducked her head when he began to speak. “I wanted to see if you… well… maybe… wanted me to sleep with you again.” He didn’t clarify like he’d done the previous times. She knew what he meant.

“I don’t want to… force you to do something… you don’t want to do.” She whispered harshly, her anger leaking through.

“Shit… that’s not the case at all, Mariah. I suck at this.” She returned to looking at him and he could see the confusion in her eyes, as well as some sadness. “Feelings and relationships. I’m not good at either of them or any type of them. And when I do stop and try to dissect them, I second guess myself.”

“What are you… talking about, John?”

He sighed and came over to sit beside her on the bed. “I felt we were getting attached to each other and with me leaving next week, I thought stepping back was the right thing to do. But I never realized how much it was going to hurt… the both of us.” He knew his actions had upset her, but he was surprised at how much pain it caused him. Plus, it pissed him off that everyone who saw them together during the day had noticed the change in their dynamic and called him on it; however, that was of lesser importance than the pain they were both feeling.

“I know you’re a military commander… and used to making decisions… on your own… but this isn’t a combat situation…. You can’t make… unilateral decisions. This attachment.” She gestured between them. “Involves us both… so we both need to be… involved in what we decide to do.”

“You’re right, but….” He trailed off. He hated these kinds of conversations. “I know you feel you owe me something and I-.”

“I don’t just owe you. I owe Cam… and Sam… and Carson… and Jack… and Daniel. What’s between us… is different. Wouldn’t you… agree?”

“Yes.” His response was barely audible, but she heard it in the otherwise silent room.

“Then stop… second guessing. Just be….” She sighed and reached out a hand to him. He grabbed it and held it tightly in his. “I have no… expectations, beyond… friendship, but… I need you… while you’re still here.”

“I can do that.” He smiled at her. Tension he hadn’t even realized he held in his body evaporated.

“Let’s see… what happens… and enjoy the rest… of our time together. Deal?”

“Deal.” Sheppard chuckled. “How are you so good at this, while I panic just thinking about it?”

“I’ve dealt with nothing… but uncertainty for… five years. Like I told Jack… I’m adaptive. Nothing… is certain in life. You have to enjoy… what you have… while you… have it.” Mariah shifted closer to him and patted the mattress behind her. “Let’s get some sleep…. Morning will be here… before we know it. And I don’t want to… miss my appointment.”

Without a word, John rounded the bed and joined her. He switched the lamp off, laid down and wrapped his arms lightly around the young woman’s waist. She placed her arms over his and settled down with a happy sign. He felt her fall asleep, but stayed awake for a few minutes. Even though it had been hard, he was glad they discussed the situation and cleared up the confusion. She was right, he couldn’t make decisions for the both of them, especially after everything she’d been through. He would roll with… whatever was happening and when it was time to leave, they would stay in touch and remain friends. He was glad he hadn’t lost her.

Chapter Text

The room was much lighter when Mariah opened her eyes again and she was greeted by the sight of Cam standing in the doorway of the room. They stared at one another for a couple of minutes, then he came over to the bed and squatted down, setting his forearms on the mattress and leaning towards her.

“I was a little surprised to not find Shep in the living room, but I’m even more surprised to find him in here.” The Colonel whispered. “Especially since you didn’t say one word to him at dinner last night.”

“He came to see me… in the middle of the night… and we talked.” She smiled at him. “He was overthinking… the situation. Just needs to go with… whatever this is.”

“He’s bad with feelings. Just ask his ex-wife.” Mitchell saw surprise on her face. “Forget I mentioned it.”

“Okay.” She nodded. “Is John awake?” He’d said he was a light sleeper, but she hadn’t noted any change in his breathing while talking to Cam and was afraid to move and find out for herself.

“Don’t think so. I just wanted to tell one of you I’m leaving for the Mountain.” He stood back up. “I know I’ll see Shep later, but you have a good day and try to enjoy your appointment, if it’s possible to enjoy an appointment with a shrink.” She chuckled lightly.

“I’ll try… my best. What time is it?”

The Colonel checked his watch. “0630.”

“We should… probably get up. Don’t want… to be late.”

“See you tonight.” He waved at her and strode out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

Wanting to wake the Colonel as gently as possible, Mariah rubbed her hands up and down the arms that were still wrapped around her. It took a minute, but he began to move and shift; his arms tightening around her. She chuckled when he buried his head between her neck and shoulder. He was fighting waking up. “Morning, John.” She stated loudly.

“Huh? What?” His voice was full of confusion, then realization must have dawned. “Oh…. Morning, Mariah. What time is it?”

“Just after 6:30am. Cam… left a few minutes ago.”

“How did you-?”

“He came to find… you. I’m surprised… you didn’t hear him.”

“Me, too.” He loosened his grip on her waist and rolled onto his back. “I haven’t slept that deeply in a long time.”

“You probably… needed it.” She slid across the bed and got up. She stretched her arms over her head and yawned. “Can I use the… bathroom first?”

“Sure.” He was watching her out of the corners of his eyes, but she didn’t call him on it.

Mariah picked up the clothes she’d set out the night before and exited the bedroom, heading for the bathroom. She had a smug little smile on her face as she began to get ready for the day. It was nice that things were back to normal, well, her new normal.

*****

“I’d like to start our session today, Mariah, by telling you how proud I am that you’re here alone. I know you’re still unsure about this process, but it shows me that we’re moving in the right direction.” Dr. Bennett declared with a smile. She and the young woman were in her office. The psychologist was in her chair, while Mariah was on the couch, alone. Sheppard was out in the waiting room, standing by in case he was needed.

“I thought it was best, since John… he’s going to return to his base… at the end of next week. I have to get used to… him not being here.” She replied.

“While I understand, it’s still a big step forward.” The doctor reviewed her notes. “During your last appointment, we discussed some of the worst situations you encountered while you were on the streets, but today, I’ll like to delve into the good encounters you had.”

“There weren’t many of them.” Mariah sighed. “I tried to keep… to myself after the… first few injuries.”

“All the same, the good and the bad shaped who you are. It would be nice to hear about positive experiences you had while on the streets.” Dr. Bennett had her pen poised on her pad, ready to take notes, once her patient started talking.

It took a couple minutes of taking deep breaths before Mariah finally began to speak. “When I left Stanford… I headed to San Francisco. There’s a large homeless… community and it was easy… to get lost. I met a lot of good… bad and ugly people there. But there was… this one guy who took… me under his wing.”

“He taught you about being on the streets?”

“Yeah… I never knew his real name… everyone called him… Captain. He was older… and respected. He helped me… after I was shot… the first time. Took the bullet out… and patched me up.”

“He had medical training?” Angie prodded.

“Maybe… I heard someone say… he used to be a medic… in Vietnam… but I don’t know… if that was true.”

“What else can you tell me about him?”

“He was older… like I said… with white hair that… went to his shoulders… and a bushy beard.” Mariah chuckled. “I always thought of him… as a homeless Santa. He’d wink at me… when he made jokes… and kept people from… bothering me. He also….” She trailed off and looked away.

“What else?” The psychologist wasn’t going to let her avoid topics that made her uncomfortable. She would only change course if she felt she might have another panic attack.

Turning back to meet the doctor’s eyes, the young woman responded. “He gave me my coat. It’s an old canvas one… like you see ranchers wearing. It kept me warm… and safe… for the last five years. I wore it… almost every day… until I came here. I tried to give it back… when I left San Francisco… for LA… but he wouldn’t hear of it.”

“Why did you leave?”

“The police were… clearing out homeless camps… making it hard for… a lot of people. Lots of strangers… were coming into… our area. Lots of fights. I… I got hurt two more times…. Captain told me… to head south, but he… he wouldn’t go… with me. I never went back…. Never saw him again.” A single tear trickled down her cheek.

“How long were you in San Francisco?”

“Almost six months…. It was the longest… I stayed in one place.” She wiped her cheek and sat up straighter.

“How long were you in LA?”

“About four months. I left after… I was arrested… for vagrancy, then… on my way out… of town, I got… shot in… the shoulder.” She rubbed her right shoulder, indicating where the wound had been.

“How did that happen?”

“Two guys were fighting… at the camp the police… dropped me at. Got hit… by a stray bullet. It went straight through. I ran before… the police came back… and started arresting people.” She dropped her hand back into her lap. “I stayed away… from big cities… after that… for the most part.”

“That was probably wise.” Dr. Bennett wrote a couple of more things down, then skimmed up through her notes. “Let’s go back to one of the comments you made about the coat. You said it kept you warm AND safe. What did you mean by that?”

Mariah sighed. She had hoped the psychologist had missed her slip, but now she needed to explain. “I know it doesn’t… make logical sense, but… I’ve never been hurt… when wearing the coat Captain gave me.”

“Never?” Angie was astonished.

“Nope. Like in LA.” She paused and gathered her thoughts. “The police took it… when they arrested me. They gave it back… when I was released… but I hadn’t put it on. Then I was shot. I didn’t put it back on… until I got the bleeding under control.”

“Interesting.” The doctor scribbled furiously. “How do you feel now that you aren’t wearing it?”

“To be honest… I don’t feel like… I need it anymore.”

“And why’s that?”

“I’m not on the streets… and have friends and support.” Mariah chuckled. “I remember wearing… that coat in the desert…. It must have been… over 100 degrees. I was so scared… to take it off.”

Dr. Bennett laughed. It was an amusing anecdote. She tapped her pen on her pad after she regained her composure. “Did you keep the coat?”

“Yeah. It’s a good coat… and will keep me warm.” A sad smile appeared on her face. “And it will remind me… of Captain.”

“That’s completely reasonable.” The psychologist checked her watch. They still had some time. “Tell me about another good experience or encounter.”

*****

“Don’t pout, John.” Mariah told the Colonel, while fighting not to grin.

Sheppard was leaning against the back of the couch with a scowl on his face, while the young woman was at the kitchen table with her laptop open in front of her. She wanted to go through more of her files and see if they helped her remember anything. They had finished lunch about thirty minutes ago and were waiting for Dr. Jackson to arrive.

“I’m supposed to be on vacation before heading back to base.”

“But you’re the military… commander. If there is a personnel problem… you need to address it… before you get back to your base.”

“You’re right.” He gave a heavy sigh and walked over to her. He pulled out a chair and sat right next to her. “If you need me to come back, call Cam. He’ll get the message to me.”

“I’ll be fine.” She pointed at her computer. “I have tons of old papers… to go through and Daniel… he’ll be here…. Though I don’t really need… a babysitter.”

“He’s not a babysitter. He’s keeping you company.” John covered one of her hands with his and squeezed it. “But if you need to escape, go to your room or out on the balcony. Jackson won’t hover. He isn’t like that.”

“I can be left alone… for a few hours. I’m not going… to run away.” She was tempted to reclaim her hand, but his touch calmed her.

The Colonel chuckled. “I know. When I get back, how about we go for a walk? Get some fresh air and sunshine?”

“I’d like that.”

A knock interrupted their moment and Sheppard got up to answer it. He swung open the door to find Daniel with his arms full of stuff. “Doc.”

“Hello, John. Sorry, I’m a little late. I’ve been working on this frustrating translation all night and time got away from me. It took Jack coming to find me to break my concentration enough to remember I needed to be here by 1pm.” The archeologist stepped into the apartment and dropped the books and papers onto the kitchen table next to the young woman. “Hi, Mariah.”

“Hi.” She looked at the clock on the stove. It showed it was 1:19pm. “You’re not that late.”

“It’s not a problem, doc. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” The Atlantis military commander waved at them and hurried out the door, closing it behind him.

The young woman scanned the books and papers on the table, then looked up at Jackson. “What’s all this?”

“Well….” He dug through the mess and pulled out an older tome. “This was picked up on a recent mission and I’ve been trying to translate it. I believe it’s in a dialect of a language I’m familiar with, but I’m struggling to make sense of it. I brought along all my work on it, plus some reference books. I hope you don’t mind if I keep working on it.” He flipped through the book and skimmed a few of the pages, seeing if anything sparked some inspiration in him.

“I don’t mind.” She began to sort through the books and papers, organizing them into piles based on what they were. When Daniel finally sank into the chair next to her, she asked. “You were up… all night?”

“I lose track of time. It happens more frequently than I like to admit.” He glanced at her laptop. “What are you working on?”

“Reading through my school work… and trying to remember.”

“Any luck?” Daniel inquired as he went through the piles, looking for the right book. He quirked his head when he realized one pile was books on specific languages and the other was translation aides. Both were alphabetized by author. He was impressed. He was going to have to convince her to go back to school; she’d be a great asset to the Program.

“I remember what I learned… but nothing about myself.” She shrugged.

“Hey, at least that’s something. Are you still thinking about going back to school?”

Mariah nodded. “Yeah… I haven’t made… a decision yet.”

“I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

She pointed at the pad of paper in front of him. “Shouldn’t you be working… on your translation?”

“Probably, but feel free to interrupt me if the mood hits.”

“Will do.” With that, the young woman returned to her document review and Daniel dove into the tome he was trying to decipher. Both quickly became engrossed.

*****

An hour went by and the archeologist’s head began to droop. After thirty minutes more, his head was on his arm and he was snoring lightly. Mariah smiled over at him, then tried to go back to the paper she was reading, but her eyes hurt from staring at the screen for so long. She closed the lid and pushed the computer away from her. She glanced at the book Daniel had been working on and was intrigued. It took a little doing, but she was able to slip it out from under his arm and head without waking him.

Placing it in front of her, she scanned the strange words. Whatever the language was, she thought it was rather beautiful, but strange, almost alien. Jackson’s notepad was under his elbow and she quickly retrieved it. His translation was a jumble of words that didn’t make sense in the order they were written. Some words were crossed out and replaced with others, a few multiple times. He also had notes in the margins, detailing his thought process and his theories about the language. A certain phrase in the book caught her eye. Finding an empty page on his pad, she began to write.

Over in the living room, her shadow was sitting on the back of the sofa, watching her work. He hopped off and strolled over to her.

*He really shouldn’t have brought that here to work on. I knew it would pique your interest and give you a nice little challenge.*

Mariah flipped back a couple pages on the pad to review something Daniel had written, then got back to writing.

*I almost tried to talk him out of it, but he’s kind of scary when he gets obsessed.*

She scribbled out a couple words and wrote something new above it, nodding her head.

*Plus, delaying the inevitable has never been my style.*

The young woman muttered under her breath and nodded approvingly when she heard the words aloud.

*Your curiosity and work ethic are going to get you in trouble one day.*

She grabbed one of the reference books and checked something, before writing out a little more of her translation.

*Though knowing you, you’ll talk your way out of it. You’ve always been good at that.*

Her phone ringing startled her out of her contemplation and she scrambled to answer it. The noise roused Dr. Jackson. He searched around the table and saw his notes and the book were now in front of her. He looked them over while she spoke to whoever called her. Her shadow had disappeared in the confusion.

“Hello?” She paused for a moment to let the other person speak. A smile appeared on her face. “Hi, John. I… don’t think so.” She got to her feet and opened the fridge, then the freezer. “We have a lot of food… so unless you want… something specific… I don’t think you need… to pick anything up.” She chuckled at his response and closed the fridge and freezer doors. “I wouldn’t say no… to steak. But if you’re going… to pick steaks up… get some potatoes and green beans… to go with them.” She nodded. “See you soon. Bye.”

“Colonel Sheppard on his way back?” Daniel asked, glancing up as she rejoined him at the table.

“Yeah… crisis averted… or so he says.” She shrugged. “And he asked about dinner.”

“I figured that much out. What’s this?” He was pointing at the words she’d written out.

Mariah shrugged again. “It looked interesting. I thought I’d… give it a go.” She grabbed the pad and flipped back to the work he’d done on it. “Your notes were helpful.”

“Not for me. I wrote nonsense. You,” he went back to her write-up, “have sentences that make sense. How did you figure it out?”

The young woman began to explain her process and they started to collaborate, translating more of the book together. More time passed, then the front door opened and John came in, grocery bags in hand. They looked up and turned in unison. Mariah stood and went to help the Colonel.

“Thanks.” He handed her the one with the vegetables and kept the other with the steaks in it. “You’re free to go, Doc. And as an FYI, Mitchell’s looking for you.”

“He probably wants an update on the translation. I better get back.” Jackson stacked up all his books and papers and lifted the whole pile. “Thank you for your help, Mariah. I’ll see you both later.” He hurried out the door and the Colonel shut it behind him.

“Wedges or baked potatoes?” The young woman asked as she unloaded the bag. There were several large potatoes inside and a smaller bag of fresh green beans. She placed everything on the counter.

“Hmmm… I think wedges.” He came over and set the package of steaks next to the stove, then pulled out a large cast iron pan. He turned to look at her and saw she was cutting up the potatoes already, throwing the long strips into a bowl she had gotten from somewhere. “What did you help Jackson with?”

“Nothing really. You still wanna go… for a walk?”

“Sure.” John nodded. He continued to watch her work. “I’m going to change then we can go.”

“Sounds good.” Mariah continued with what she was doing.

Sheppard walked away from her and down the hall. He stole a glance at her before she was hidden from sight. He would swear she wasn’t telling him something. With a chuckle and a shake of his head, he continued to the guest room. Everyone was entitled to their secrets.

*****

“What was the… personnel issue?” Mariah asked, breaking the silence. They’d been outside for about forty minutes and found their way to a nearby park, walking the paths and across the neatly maintained grass. It hadn’t taken long for John to change, but he’d let her finish up her prep work before they departed. The potatoes were soaking in a bowl of cold water in the fridge and the green beans had been cleaned and snapped to be cooked while the potatoes were in the oven. They hadn’t spoken as they left the apartment. They were content to simply enjoy each other’s company and the mild summer day.

The Colonel looked at the young woman and chuckled. “Two of the marines who were earmarked to go to our base as part of the EOD team got drunk at a bar downtown and busted up the place. Local PD arrested them, but once they found out they were military, foisted them off on Generals Landry and O’Neill to deal with. Because of their behavior, it was decided they can’t go. Elizabeth and I needed to pick a replacement.”

“EOD?” She wasn’t familiar with the term.

“Oh, explosive ordnance disposal.” He glanced over at her again and saw concern in her eyes. He quickly explained. “Every one of our forward deployed bases usually has an EOD team, but it’s just a precaution. They’re rarely needed and when they aren’t doing explosive disposal, are just regular soldiers. A lot of people at our base are multi-skilled.”

“Thanks… for explaining.” She nodded her head and refocused on the path in front of them.

“Of course.” They walked in silence for a few more minutes, until she spoke up again.

“Did you find… a good replacement?”

“I think so, but because of the short notice, we could only get one person to fill the two vacant spots.” He chuckled. “She’s actually like three marines for the price of one.”

“She?”

“Yeah, Lieutenant Laura Cadman. Has a degree in electronics, served in the first Gulf War, did a stint with the Secret Service, where she dealt with VIPs… AND she’s one of the top experts in identifying types of ordnance and chemical agents.”

“She sounds… very impressive.”

“She is and Rodney’s going to hate her. I can’t wait to see them work together for the first time.” He smirked. It was unfair how much enjoyment he got from his friend’s misery.

“Why isn’t he… going to like her?” She ignored his glee at the thought of torturing the physicist. She’d seen firsthand how they argue with each other and how happy it made them.

“She’s smart, opinionated, easy on the eyes and could easily kick his ass, plus she’s good with people.” He shifted closer to her when someone on a bike zipped passed them. “She’s basically a more attractive female version of him, but with combat and people skills.”

“John….” She rolled her eyes and fought not to smile.

“Hey, I’m just giving as good as I get. He can be really awful at times. He has this need to win at everything to the point where he cheats.”

“He cheats?” Mariah wasn’t sure she believed him. He seemed pretty competitive as well.

Sheppard nodded. “He does. We’ve been playing this computer game and he….” He trailed off, suddenly remembering there were some things he couldn’t tell her. “Any way, enough about my afternoon, what did you and Jackson get up to?” While he believed in letting people keeping certain things private, it didn’t mean he couldn’t ask a few questions.

“I read through my… school papers and he… worked on translating… a book.”

“Anything interesting in your papers?”

“Not really… well, they were interesting. I remember researching… and writing them, but… they didn’t trigger… any memories.” Her frustration was clearly displayed on her face.

“None of that.” The Colonel grabbed her elbow and led her over to a bench along the edge of the path. They sat down together. “You don’t need to force anything. We both saw what happens when you try that.” Her panic attack was permanently etched in his mind. “The memories will come when they come.”

“What if they don’t?” Her head was down and she was wringing her hands in her lap.

“Then they don’t.” He put a hand under her chin and lifted her face until their eyes met. “You’ll just have to make new ones, which I’m going to help with on Friday after your appointment.”

“Huh?” She quirked her head at him. His hand fell away.

“It’s a surprise, but I promise you’re going to love it.” The only emotions he could see on her face now were curiosity and contentment. “Any chance you’ll tell me what you helped Dr. Jackson with?”

“Well, you see… I…. He fell asleep… and the book he… was working on… caught my eye.” She shrugged. “I gave it a go… and made some progress… before he woke up. Then we worked… on it together.”

“You translated part of it?”

“Yeah, I was studying… linguistics after all. I know about… structure… syntax… phonetics… semantics. I’m also pretty sure… I speak and write… a few different languages. I found papers… in French, Russian… and Chinese. I could read them… relatively well.”

“You’re full of your own surprises.”

“I can’t let you… have all the fun.” She smiled when he laughed.

After checking his watch, John got to his feet and helped her up. “We should probably head back. Shaft will be home soon and we need to get started on dinner.” He placed his hand on the small of her back.

Mariah nodded and let him usher her back the way they’d come. He kept his hand where it was and she smiled in her head. She liked the fact he initiated contact with her so often and rarely did it with anyone else. It confirmed the bond she felt with him went both ways. She was very much looking forward to where it would lead them.

*****

“Thanks again for getting those steaks, Shep. It was a nice surprise.” Mitchell declared as they strolled down the hall to the bedrooms. Mariah had already retreated to the guest room when her eyes began to droop while they watched TV after dinner. It didn’t surprise the leader of SG-1. She’d had a busy day and tomorrow would be stressful for her. She needed sleep. They stopped outside the doors to the two bedrooms. “You planning to…?” He pointed at the closed door on his right.

“You’re welcome and only if she’s okay with it.” Sheppard replied.

“Are you and she-?”

“No, we’re just friends. Plus, I’m leaving in a little over eight days. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“Life isn’t fair.”

“Since when did you start spouting fortune cookie quotes?” John growled defensively.

Cam held up both hands in surrender. “No harm meant. Try your best not to break her heart, though. You may be leaving, but I’m still going to be here. I don’t want to deal with an emotional roommate after you leave.”

“You’re planning to let her stay?” He was startled, but also pleased by what he’d just heard.

“As long as she’d like. Hopefully after tomorrow, we’ll have a little more information to go on about Mariah and her situation and that’ll help us know what the path forward is.” Mitchell yawned. “Well, good night.” He stepped into the master suite.

“Night, Shaft.” The Atlantis military commander waited for his friend’s door to close, before he tried the guest room door. The knob turned easily in his hand and he slipped inside. He was surprised to see the bedside lamp was still on. The young woman was on her side facing him; her sleep-heavy eyes watching him. “I expected you to be asleep.”

“Waited up for you.” She whispered.

Despite knowing she needed sleep, her comment made him smile. He made his way around the bed and Mariah turned over to keep him in sight. When he slid into bed, they were face to face. He didn’t turn the light off. Instead, he scanned her face and noticed her eyes were furtively looking around the room, plus she had her hands tightly clenched in front of her. “What’s wrong?” He began to lift his hand to touch her cheek, but redirected it to cover her hands.

“I’m nervous….”

“About meeting the lawyers?” He could feel her trembling.

She moved her head back and forth like she was unsure. “Some… but also this Major… Davis person.”

“I don’t know Davis personally, but if O’Neill trusts him, I think that says a lot about him. The General’s not one for lawyers, bureaucrats or politicians and has been in the field most of his career. For Davis to earn his respect, it’s a big deal.”

“Okay.” She shifted forward and buried her face in his chest.

John wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back. It hurt to see her distraught, especially after all the progress she’d made in the last few days. “I’ll be there the whole time, both when Davis comes beforehand to speak with you and when the other lawyers are here. I’m not going to leave you alone.”

“Promise?” She whispered.

“You have my word.” He pulled her closer and felt her relax. He was glad he could give her some solace and the support she felt she needed, but honestly, she was stronger than she thought she was. He looked forward to seeing her realize that. “Feel better?”

“Much better. Sorry… for freaking out.”

“You never need to apologize for that. If I was in your shoes, I’d probably be climbing the walls. You’ve been through a lot and have had to deal with so much change since we met, but you aren’t alone.”

“I’m happy I took… a chance on you.”

“And I’m glad I felt the urge to pull over and offer you a ride.” He leaned back and studied her face. She was half asleep. “Ready to call it a night?”

Mariah nodded and that was his cue to switch off the bedside lamp. Some moonlight leaked through the drapes, giving the room a surreal feeling. “Sweet dreams, John.” She rested her head on his chest and after a few breaths, was out.

It took Sheppard a little longer. His thoughts were muddled. He felt like he was being torn between galaxies, but that seemed to be his constant state of late. He had to go next Friday, back to Pegasus and Atlantis, but also wanted to stay to support the young woman in his arms as she healed. He shook the warring priorities from his mind. Just like they had discussed the night before, he needed to be in the moment with her and cherish the time they had together before he left. And it wasn’t like he wouldn’t be coming back to Earth from time to time. He would see her whenever he did and would stay in touch through email and videos, while he was a galaxy away. With those more positive thoughts floating through his head, he settled down to sleep. He would take things one day at time.