Chapter Text
“Yo Wemmbu, come check this out!”
Wemmbu looked up from the video journal machine he was messing with to glance over at Evbo. He was crouched over something on the ground, his body blocking Wemmbu from being able to see what it was.
Curious, and not particularly doing anything better, Wemmbu wandered closer and peered over Evbo’s shoulder. “Dude, what is that?” he asked, squinting his eyes to try and discern what exactly he was seeing. It looked vaguely like a weapon, but not one Wemmbu had ever seen before. And was it glitching?
“I don’t know man, it just, like… teleported onto the floor a few seconds ago. Maybe we’ve been blessed by something!” Evbo reached out to touch it but hesitated before he made contact. “Should we get the others?”
Wemmbu grinned mischievously and reached out as well. “Nah, let’s see what it does first. Maybe we’ll-”
But when his hand made contact with the handle of the object, everything around him warped completely, and suddenly, instead of being in the diamond sword level, he was in a narrow crater.
“-get special powers… or… something?” Wemmbu blinked as he looked up and found himself surrounded by damp deep slate and flowing water. “What the…” He tried looking around, but nothing was there. Just endless dark walls that seemed to go up forever. Wemmbu’s tail swished behind him nervously. “Hello? Evbo?” he called out, only slightly, just slightly, desperately. “Where even am I? Is this the backrooms?”
It was only after spinning around in the small hole he was in a few times to see if he’d somehow missed something that Wemmbu noticed the weight in his hand. Looking down, he saw that he was still holding onto the strange object from before, though now it was in his mainhand, replacing his sword. Which meant…
“Uhh… shouldn’t I be like… dead right now?” Wemmbu swallowed as another pinch of nervousness passed through him. Unless he was somehow a natural born… whatever this weapon was, then he should be dead if his sword was gone, right?
Or maybe it had to do with the fact that this weapon was glitching earlier? Maybe it was broken or something and that’s why it teleported him away.
“Am I legitimately just in hell right now?” He tried to laugh, y’know keep things lighthearted, but hearing the sound echo off the walls made the noise die in his throat. He should probably get out of this hole.
Thankfully, Wemmbu had spare blocks that he was able to use to climb out. But upon reaching the surface, he found what could only be described as a warzone. There were huge explosion holes everywhere, random blocks littered about on the ground, and a giant vandalized statue at the center of it.
The chances of him being in hell were definitely growing.
Honestly though, Wemmbu had never seen anything even remotely similar to this before, so he was lowkey intrigued. Was he staring at some crazy moment in history or something? Maybe it was like the Great Statue War.
The place was completely deserted though, so just standing there wouldn’t help him figure out where he was or how to get back home. He figured if he wanted to make any progress then he would probably have to find an actual person he could ask questions to.
That was, if there were any living people in this place, because so far he hadn’t found anything. But it wasn’t looking too bad. He at least knew that people had been there at some point given the state of the place.
So, Wemmbu picked a random direction and began walking. His plan was simple: walk until he found someone to talk to. He figured it couldn’t be too hard. He had food on him, and presumably a weapon, though he didn’t know how to use it, so he’d probably be good for a while.
And as he began walking, Wemmbu’s curiosity took over, and he wanted something to occupy his mind with, so he lifted the object closer to his face in order to try and figure out more about it. It was almost certainly the reason he was here, so there had to be something on it that could explain, right?
Well… maybe? After a thorough inspection, which consisted of Wemmbu squinting his eyes at the thing and holding it really close to his face, he found two things worth noting.
One: a small keychain-like thing was attached to the part where the handle met the weapon(?) part. On it, was a small white feather, a sunflower charm, a snowball charm, and a chipped off piece of a turtle scute. So it seemed like the weapon wasn’t random, it likely belonged to someone before it ended up at the diamond sword level. It looked quite well-loved too given the strange charms on the keychain.
Two: there was a word engraved on the handle of the object. “Gambit.” Wemmbu figured that it might be the name of the person who had owned the weapon before. Which meant he probably needed to find someone named Gambit to return it to, or to at least ask about it. Maybe then he’d be able to go back home!
Nothing else about the weapon particularly stood out though, so after straining his eyes enough, he stopped looking at it and continued along.
He did try attacking a random sheep he found with it though, but it barely did any damage! Was there some special way to use it, or was it just a bad weapon? Either way, it was a bit stressful to know now that he was pretty much defenseless when it came to attacking. He just had to hope the people in hell were friendly.
Another thing that Wemmbu noticed as he was journeying along was that the world he was in was very unique. And like, duh, of course it was, he literally got teleported here after touching a glitchy object he’d never seen before, it would be more strange if it wasn’t different. But it was still cool. The only terrain he’d ever really seen as a sword back in Pvp Civilization was grass and oak trees, so seeing so many different biomes lowkey caught him off guard. He found himself stopping every so often to just stare, which was kind of an aura loss honestly but oh well.
Eventually, after what felt like forever, Wemmbu finally came upon something that looked man made. And once he got closer, he realized it was some sort of town.
Unfortunately, the minute Wemmbu let his hopes get up, he noticed something. As he was walking through the streets, he realized that the place was completely deserted.
“Are you kidding me?” Wemmbu complained out loud, dragging a hand down his face. “Why does nobody live anywhere?”
But finding a place like this wasn’t actually all that bad if Wemmbu thought about it. The town was in almost perfect condition and if nobody was living there, then he could use it as a temporary base of sorts. He was getting pretty tired from all the walking he’d been doing, so it’d be good to have a place to rest for a bit.
Or at least that’s what his original plan was. That pretty much all went down the drain as he was walking up to what looked to be the main building to set up camp. There was a small clinking of armor behind him and then-
“Wemmbu?”
Wemmbu spun around and came face to face with a man in full armor with strange patterns on it. He was on edge for a second before he felt a wave of relief crash over him as he realized he was looking at another human being. Maybe he wasn’t in hell after all! “Oh my god, I’ve actually been looking for another living person for forever. You don’t even know how happy I am to see you.”
The person raised an eyebrow as their eyes scanned over Wemmbu. “No you’re… huh. You look almost identical to Wemmbu, just… off,” they mused, bringing their eyes back up to meet his. “Does Wemmbu have a twin I wasn’t aware of?”
The relief Wemmbu felt just a moment ago was quickly turning into confusion and maybe a bit of concern. “Uhh, I am Wemmbu, I don’t have a twin or anything. Do I even know you?” Maybe Wemmbu ran into the wrong person, this guy seemed like he might be losing his mind.
“Huh. This is pretty interesting.” A smile broke out on the person’s face. “You say you’re Wemmbu, and you do look just like him, but the Wemmbu I know has darker hair and a chipped horn. And he’d also recognize me if I approached him like this. You,” they took a step forward, “seem awfully clueless.”
Wemmbu tilted his head, curiosity taking over when he knew he should probably be leaving. “Wait, you know another Wemmbu? Are you sure? How would there be more than one of me?”
The person’s gaze shifted to the large building off in the distance. “Well I have an idea as to what might be going on, but it’ll take a minute to explain.” Their eyes flicked back to Wemmbu, looking awfully happy about something. “Why don’t we go inside?”
Wemmbu looked over at the building too, not really sure what to think. Rationally, it probably wasn’t a good idea to just blindly follow what a stranger told him to do, because it could obviously be a trap or something. But at the same time, this was the only person Wemmbu had seen this entire time, and they clearly knew something about what was going on.
Plus, he was a diamond sword, even if something bad happened he would be fine. Wemmbu was basically the best pvper ever so…
“Yeah, sure. Lead the way.”
Gleefully, the stranger led the two of them inside the aforementioned building and up to the second floor where there was a desk and a giant tank of axolotls.
“Yo, what’s that?” Wemmbu asked, breaking off from where he was following the stranger’s lead in order to get closer to the tank. He wanted to press his face against it, but he figured it would probably be best to be as not-annoying as possible if he wanted this person to help him figure anything out. So he refrained.
The person turned towards the tank as well. “Oh, those are my Cedric’s, bro.”
Wemmbu blinked. “Ohhh, right,” he nodded wisely as if he knew what that meant. Maybe this place had different meanings for certain words. Was the word for axolotl cedric?
“Anyways.” The stranger led them to the desk and pulled out a chair for Wemmbu to sit at, which he did. “I don’t think I got the chance to properly introduce myself, did I?” Wemmbu shook his head, and the person continued, “How rude of me. I’m Lettuce. I’m a close friend of Wemmbu.”
“Right…” Wemmbu spoke slowly, not really sure what to do with that. “So, what exactly do you mean you’re a close friend of mine? I’ve never met you.”
The stranger, Lettuce apparently, sat up a little. “Oh yeah, my apologies, you must be so confused right now.” His eyes bore into Wemmbu as he fixed him with a sympathetic look.
“Uh, yeah,” Wemmbu replied flatly, shifting in his seat too. “I think anyone would be confused if they were told there was another version of them out there, like what?”
Oh wait, wasn’t he supposed to be being nice to this guy? So he can get answers and whatever? Whoops.
Lettuce just smiled though, seemingly unfazed. “Of course, I would probably react the same way,” he nodded. “I do have a bit of a theory that could answer your question though. But just, to confirm it, could you explain how exactly you ended up here?”
Wemmbu perked up a bit, they were finally getting somewhere. “Yeah, sure. One of my friends found this,” he lifted up the weapon he’d been holding on to. Lettuce eyed it with interest. “And then when I grabbed it off the floor, all of the sudden I was in some hole in the ground and my friend was gone. I’ve just been wandering around since, y’know looking for literally any living person I could talk to in order to find out where this place is and what this weapon thing is. I can’t believe, like- is this place deserted or something?”
Lettuce chuckled lightly. “Well it would be more populated if there hadn’t been a bit of a tragedy recently, but I’ll tell you all about that later,” he dismissed with a wave of his hand. “Anyhow, your story lines up with what I’ve been assuming, which is good. I don’t think I would have been able to come up with another explanation if my original theory had been wrong!”
“Alright bet,” Wemmbu replied quickly, excitement beginning to creep into his voice, “what’s going on then?”
Meeting his eyes, Lettuce leaned forward a bit. “Well, given that there seems to be two Wemmbu’s right now—the one that I know, and the one in front of me.” He looked Wemmbu up and down. “And since you look physically different than the Wemmbu I know, in ways that can’t be changed overnight, along with the fact that you don’t have the knowledge that Wemmbu should, leads me to believe that you are in fact Wemmbu, just a different version of him. Like an alternate universe.” He paused for a moment, eyes traveling to the weapon in Wemmbu’s hand. “The only thing that was throwing me off was the fact that you have Wemmbu’s mace, but after you explained your side of things, it makes more sense.”
Wemmbu was quiet for a moment, trying to process what he’d heard. “An alternate universe?” he tried, testing the words on his tongue. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense… especially since this place is so different from Pvp Civilization.” He began absentmindedly picking at the paint of the chair as he tried to remember something Lettuce said that stuck out to him. “Oh right, you said I had my- or, uh, Wemmbu’s mace, but I don’t really know what that is.”
Lettuce blinked at him owlishly. “Huh? Are you not holding it right now?”
“This?” Wemmbu asked, holding the object in his hands up. “That’s what this thing is called? A mace?”
“You, uh…” Lettuce paused for a moment looking rather lost. “You’ve never seen a mace before? …Where exactly are you from again?”
“Pvp Civilization,” Wemmbu replied simply. “And no, I’ve never even heard of a mace before, we don’t have those back home I guess.” Lettuce opened his mouth to reply, but Wemmbu quickly cut him off. “Oh my god, I just remembered something.”
Lettuce sat back a little, ear twitching in what was likely annoyance that he got interrupted. “Yeah?” he asked thinly.
“Okay so while I was walking around trying to find someone to talk to, I tried using this thing,” he lifted up the mace, “on like a nearby sheep I think, and it literally did no damage like how can this even be considered a weapon? So I think that might be why we don’t have maces in Pvp civilization because, like, I can’t imagine anyone being able to get good with this. I mean, even as a diamond sword I doubt I could kill someone with this. And like obviously-”
“Diamond sword?” Lettuce cut in quickly, tilting his head curiously. “What does that mean?”
“You guys don’t do that here?” Wemmbu asked, and when all Lettuce did was continue to stare at him in confusion, he assumed that was a no. “Oh this is a weird place. But it just means I’m like the strongest sword pvper out of everyone. Well, me and the other four diamond swords, but I think we all know I’m clearly the best.”
Something shone in Lettuce’s eyes upon hearing Wemmbu’s explanation. “So that means you’re really good at pvp? Sword pvp?”
“Yeah bro, I’m basically the best.”
Lettuce stood up suddenly and walked around to the front of the desk, motioning for Wemmbu to stand up as well. “That’s probably the best news I’ve gotten in a long time.” Wemmbu stood up and waited for Lettuce to elaborate. “You see,” Lettuce went on, “the reason you couldn’t find any people around earlier isn’t because this place is deserted, well it is now, but it wasn’t always like that.” Lettuce looked down sorrowfully. “Everything was fine until just a few days ago, this person, Flamefrags, came along and slaughtered one thousand innocent people! Just because he wanted to.”
“He was able to kill a thousand people by himself?” Wemmbu asked, eyes widening. He wished he was strong enough to do that. “That’s crazy.”
Nodding solemnly, Lettuce continued, “It’s going to be a thousand and one if I’m not careful. And I was going to ask Wemmbu, the one from around here, to help me get rid of Flame since he’s really good with that mace you have there and he wouldn’t want me to take a fight alone like that, but I’m afraid nobody has heard from Wemmbu in a few days.” He stepped forward and grabbed Wemmbu’s hands. “I hate to ask this of you since you just got here, but is there any way you could help me stop Flame?”
Wemmbu really wanted to pull his hands away but that would probably be rude or whatever. “Uh, you want me to help you stop a guy that killed a thousand people on his own? I mean, I’m good but I don’t know if I’m that good, y’know?”
Lettuce gave him a pitiful look. “Well I was pretty confident that me and the Wemmbu I’m friends with could take the fight and win, but if you don’t feel confident enough in your pvp skills then that’s fine. I can try stopping him on my own…”
Okay well… Wemmbu had a feeling he knew what Lettuce was doing, but he also had no way of knowing whether or not this other Wemmbu really was strong enough to take on this Flamefrags guy. And he couldn’t let himself be one upped by himself could he? Like, worst case scenario he just runs away if he starts to lose.
Actually the worst case scenario would be that he dies, but he’s at least confident enough in his abilities that he won’t just drop dead.
“I mean, I guess I can at least try?” Wemmbu ventured after a moment. “At the very least it’ll give me someone new to practice my skills on. The other diamond swords are great but they get predictable after a while.”
A wide grin split across Lettuce’s face and he squeezed Wemmbu’s hands tighter. “Thank you so much! I’m in your debt for this.” He stepped back, which Wemmbu was thankful for, and began walking toward the stairs. “We should go as soon as possible, he could be killing another person as we speak.”
Wemmbu blinked, moving to catch up to Lettuce. “Wait, like right now?”
Lettuce didn’t respond, instead continuing farther down the stairs.
And as Wemmbu was following him to wherever Flame was supposed to be, he had the chance to think for a moment, and he decided that he really didn’t know how the other version of himself was friends with this Lettuce guy. Unless the other Wemmbu was just a completely different person, Lettuce didn’t really seem like the kind of guy Wemmbu would want to be around for more than five minutes.
He was just kinda… off.
But then again, he could have just had a strange first impression. Like, in the situation they were in, it would be kind of hard to have a normal first impression. Alternate universes and all that.
Though, on that note, Wemmbu was getting really curious about his other self too. He wanted to ask so many questions, especially about the mace. How does someone even get good at a weapon that does no damage?
“We’re here!”
Wemmbu snapped back into reality and looked around. There were a few farm-looking things below the hill they were standing on, and on their lever, there were two wood doors. “Already? We’ve only been walking for like five minutes?”
“Yep!” Lettuce replied as he skipped towards the doors. “It’s only about a hundred blocks.” He reached a hand up and began knocking on the wood.
“A hundred blocks?” Wemmbu repeated, disbelief lining his voice. “Why would you live so close to a guy like-”
The sound of a door being pushed open made Wemmbu pause in his words.
“Lettuce?” An annoyed voice rang out, and upon hearing it, Wemmbu began inching closer to try and see into the open door. “Genuinely what could you possibly want bro? You here to finally admit defeat?”
Wemmbu continued on his journey, still not quite able to see Flame yet. “Quite the opposite actually,” Lettuce replied, face stretching into a wide grin. “You might have killed all those people, but you failed to kill me, and as long as I’m still alive, I’m going to make sure that justice is served.”
Pausing in his movement, Wemmbu’s face scrunched up involuntarily as he turned to Lettuce. “Dude, that’s cringe as hell. You sound like a super hero from a comic book that was published in the sixties.”
“It’s not cringe if it’s honest-“
“Hold on,” Flame cut in abruptly, stepping out of his house and glancing around before his eyes caught on Wemmbu. “Wemmbu? What the hell are you doing here?”
Wemmbu focused his attention on Flame now that he could see him, trying to see if he was familiar in any way. Unfortunately, he wasn’t, which meant Wemmbu had yet to meet any alternate versions of anyone he knew. He just had to hold out hope that he would be able to find his alternate self soon enough.
Lettuce grabbed Wemmbu’s arm and pulled him so they were standing next to each other. “He’s here with me. We’ve decided to come together and put an end to this once and for all.”
“Are you serious?” Flame asked, humor evident in his tone. “There’s no way bro. I literally beat a thousand of your people and you still think this isn’t over?” He actually started laughing. “No, that’s actually hilarious, bro. And Wemmbu,” Flame’s laughing died down a bit as he turned to address him, “did we not already settle things here? Like, what could you possibly want bro? And with Lettuce, no less.”
Wemmbu went to speak, wanting to ask something about what Flame meant by settling things already, but Lettuce cut him off. “Wemmbu’s just following the path of justice, like you could be doing if you turn yourself in right now.” He took a step forward, now maybe three blocks from Flame. “But if you don’t, then we’ll have to use force.”
“Really?” Flame asked incredulously, cocking his head to the side. “Wemmbu of all people wants to be a good guy? The same guy who uses nukes and a mace on people like they’re toys? What, did you start feeling bad after we killed the nine-hundred and ninety ninth lawmen, bro?”
…Huh? Didn’t Lettuce say Flame was the evil one here? From what he was hearing, it kinda sounded like Wemmbu was just as bad, if not worse.
Which wasn’t really a huge problem since Wemmbu didn’t exactly have much of a moral code that he usually followed anyway, but Lettuce had made it seem like the two of them were like the heroes of this place or something. So… something wasn’t really adding up.
“Hold on, didn’t you say-”
Suddenly, Lettuce was right at Wemmbu’s side again. “Don’t listen to him,” he spoke quietly into his ear, and Wemmbu would be lying if he said he didn’t jump a little. “He’s just trying to get into your head so you won’t fight him. He’s scared of us.”
Wemmbu swallowed and met Lettuce’s eyes. He was definitely… strange, at times. But that might just be how people are in this place. Would it be more odd if the people here were normal? Hmm…
In any case, Wemmbu thought, shaking his head as he realized he was getting distracted, Lettuce was probably the more trustworthy one here. Though that was really only because he’d been the one to explain to Wemmbu where he was and what was going on, so it wasn’t much.
Blinking, Wemmbu focused his attention back into the conversation in front of him.
“…hell no bro. You really think I'm scared of you and Wemmbu bro? Like, one thousand people wasn’t enough but now you think two singular people are? Don’t waste my time bro.”
“Well,” Lettuce started, taking a step back, “I guess you leave us no choice then.”
Wemmbu felt something being pushed into his hands and upon looking he found a dark sword that looked awfully similar to the eternal sword, and a couple of golden apples.
And suddenly, he was being pushed toward Flame with a cheerful, “Go!”
“Wait what?” Wemmbu looked back toward Lettuce, confused. “Are we fight-“
But Flame didn’t seem confused at all as he immediately threw something at his feet and began rushing toward Wemmbu, sword raised to fight.
“Um alright then. This is cool I guess,” Wemmbu spoke as he lifted his own sword to parry and counterattack.
“Go Wemmbu! I believe in you! Take him down!” Lettuce cheered from the sidelines, notably not joining the battle.
Flame and Wemmbu traded blows for a bit, neither one of them quite getting the upper hand. Wemmbu was taking note of Flame’s fighting style though. He was very calculated, like he knew exactly what he was doing and where to hit. He probably would be a diamond sword back home.
Good thing Wemmbu was too.
“Since when are you actually decent at sword pvp bro?” Flame asked, sounding annoyed and slightly impressed.
Despite the compliment, Wemmbu felt a little disappointed that his other self apparently wasn’t good at using a sword since that was like, Wemmbu’s whole thing. But he was supposed to be good at something else that Wemmbu might have forgotten the name of, so it wasn’t terrible.
The only worrisome thing about the fight was that Flame seemed to be doing a lot more damage than he should be, so Wemmbu ended up having to eat way more golden apples than he would have liked. He wasn’t running low yet, but he assumed he should probably figure out a way to end the battle sooner than later.
“So Wemmbu,” Flame started after the fight had taken them a good bit away from where Lettuce still wasn’t helping, “why are you actually working with Lettuce? Like I know damn well you don’t care about some stupid ‘justice’ bro.”
“Uh…” Wemmbu blocked another attack as he tried to think about what he should even say. “…He’s my friend?” He didn’t mean for it to come out as a question, but he found it weird calling Lettuce a friend.
Flame suddenly burst out laughing, though he didn’t let up in his attacks once. Which, admittedly, Wemmbu found pretty impressive. “There’s actually no way bro. There’s no way you think Lettuce is your friend. Did you hit your head or something bro?” He squinted from behind the blindfold, “Actually you do look kinda different.”
Wemmbu was about to reply with a thin defense of himself before realizing that Flame was actually talking about the other Wemmbu, not him. But what did that mean then? Was Lettuce not trustworthy? Or was Flame just trying to get into his head?
Well there was only one way to find out.
“What are you talking about?” he asked simply, eating another golden apple. And he really did have to admit that he was enjoying the fighting aspect of this interaction. It had been a while since he’d fought someone new, and Flame’s fighting style, along with some strange tactics he used that weren’t a thing back home, made for a completely unique experience that Wemmbu was having a lot of fun with.
And he may or may not have been secretly taking notes on certain things Flame was doing so he could bring them back home.
Flame tilted his head as he raised his sword for another attack. “What do you mean bro? This guy’s been bothering us and sending armies after us for days, and then the minute we defeat him you go and team up with him and say you’re friends? Why on earth would he be friends with you when he’s still trying to get us locked up bro? Are you actually a brick?”
Wemmbu faltered in his attacks slightly. “Wait what?” he asked, taking a step back to avoid an oncoming attack. “He told me we were like really good friends or something. He sent armies after us? Why would he do that?”
This time it was Flame’s turn to falter, and he paused in his attacks entirely. “Uh… what? What are you talking about bro? You were there when he went after us, and he explained to us many times why he wanted to lock us up bro. Are you like…” He squinted at Wemmbu inquisitively, but he didn’t continue his thought.
For some reason, Wemmbu had the urge to believe Flame over Lettuce in this situation. He seemed genuinely confused, and really, what reason would he have to lie? He obviously wasn’t afraid of a fight since he could clearly hold his own, and he didn’t seem to have any malicious intent right now.
“Uh, yeah, so I’m not actually from-”
“Wemmbu,” Lettuce’s voice came out, suddenly behind him, and Wemmbu whipped around. “I told you he’s just trying to get in your head. We need to lock him up for good. Don’t stop fighting.”
Wemmbu took a step back, not liking the almost threatening tone of Lettuce’s voice, while Flame took a step forward. “Dude what are you talking about? What reason would I have to do that bro, like I don’t need to get into someone’s head to beat them in a fight.” He took another step forward, sword pointed to Lettuce now. “And something’s definitely off about Wemmbu, this whole fight he’s been acting weird and saying odd stuff. And I think you know what’s going on.”
Lettuce looked between the two of them for a moment before ignoring Flame entirely. “Wemmbu, are you really going to believe the words of Flame right now?” he tilted his head as if it were a stupid notion. “You don’t even know him! He’s evil, a mass murderer. All I’m trying to do is help you right now-”
“Okay well I don’t even know you either?” Wemmbu cut in, getting a bit confused. “And like, the only reason I’ve followed you this far is because you were the first person I could find in this place. If I’d found Flame first I would have gone with him instead.”
Flame glanced between the two of them in disbelief. “Wait what do you mean you don’t know either of-”
“I found you Wemmbu,” Lettuce interjected, calm demeanor beginning to show cracks. He seemed like he was losing his patience. “If I hadn’t been there, you would have been wandering alone right now with no food and nowhere to go. I basically saved you.”
Wemmbu considered ignoring Lettuce and explaining what was going on to Flame, but Lettuce was just blatantly lying and he couldn’t let that slide. “That’s literally just not true. I found your base, first of all. Second, I definitely have food, and I would have just stayed in your house if you hadn’t come back so I’m sure I would have been fine. And I highly doubt I wouldn’t have stumbled upon this place eventually,” he gestured around to Flame’s base, “considering you and Flame are literally neighbors.”
“Dude what are you talking about?” Flame asked again, agitation present in his tone from being ignored. “You already knew where I lived before this bro! You asked to make a room in-”
“Do you know what would have happened if you’d found Flame first?” Lettuce asked, fake pity dripping from his voice. “He would have killed you and taken your mace. He’s evil, I’ve told you-”
“Okay well why am I still alive then, huh?” Wemmbu didn’t raise his voice just yet, but the sound of his tail snapping against the ground was enough to indicate his rising annoyance. “He’s standing right in front of me and I’m not dead, so I don’t know what you’re basing this on.”
Lettuce went to reply but Flame cut him off. “Okay, y’know what? Wemmbu,” he addressed, grabbing Wemmbu by the shoulders and pushing him about ten blocks off to the side. “You stay right here. Don’t move and don’t get in my way. If you do anything I’m killing you.” Then he threw something at his feet and turned back to Lettuce. “And Lettuce,” he drew his sword and pointed it at Lettuce’s neck. “If you don’t leave right now, without Wemmbu, I’m just gonna kill you. Your choice bro.”
Wemmbu watched in slight awe as Lettuce’s face dropped into a frown and he began backing away. Flame didn’t even need to do anything and Lettuce gave up. Was he that strong?
“This isn’t over, Flame,” Lettuce huffed out, glancing back at Wemmbu. “When you realize that I was right all along, you’re free to come back, Wemmbu.”
“No no no,” Flame cut in, shooting an arrow at Lettuce to get him to leave faster. “This is very much over. If you come back I’m just killing you bro. There’s nothing left you can do.”
To that Lettuce didn’t say anything, but he did grin awfully widely before disappearing behind a hill.
Flame stood and watched the area Lettuce disappeared to for a few more seconds before turning back to Wemmbu and crossing the distance in two quick strides. “Okay bro, you’re gonna tell me what’s going on here right now. Because none of what you and Lettuce were talking about made any sense, and I know something’s off.”
Wemmbu stared at him for a moment before shrugging. “Yeah sure I could do that…”
Flame stared back. “Okay do it then?”
“Yeah yeah for sure…” Wemmbu waved off, glancing down at Flame’s sword. “If I do though, will you teach me some of the stuff you were doing earlier?”
It was silent for a moment as Flame just stared at him. “You… are you deadass bro? Like, I wasn’t doing anything new?” He tilted his head and took a step closer. “Do you actually have like amnesia or something bro?”
Wemmbu wagged his finger at Flame, grinning. “You can find out that glorious secret if you teach me your tricks bro.”
Flame pressed his lips together into a thin line. “Well at least you’re still a pain in the ass bro, I was starting to think you were just a different person disguised as Wemmbu.” He paused to run a hand down his face with a barely suppressed groan. “Okay how about I’ll train you if you tell me what’s going on first.”
“Hmm…” Wemmbu pretended to think for a moment. “Yeah sure that sounds good.”
So, after a brief explanation, during which Flame led them into his base, Wemmbu leaned back against the wall he was standing by and waited for Flame to process everything.
“So you’re not actually Wemmbu? You’re from a… Pvp Civilization?” Flame asked slowly, looking Wemmbu up and down. “I guess that kinda makes sense bro. Like you look a little different than Wemmbu I think, and the way you were acting like… yeah that checks out… I think.”
Wemmbu nodded slowly. “Yeah pretty much. It’s really weird bro.”
Flame ran a hand down his face. “Whatever bro, this is insane. Are you just stuck here forever now?” He paused for a second to look at Wemmbu closely. “And what happened to the other Wemmbu then? Did you like… absorb him or something?”
Wemmbu opened his mouth to argue that that was a stupid idea, but then he remembered that Lettuce had said this world’s Wemmbu had been missing for a few days. And he and Flame both had said Wemmbu looked similar to the other one…
“Wait, maybe I did…”
“What? I wasn’t being serious, do you actually think that’s possible?” Flame asked, giving him a strange look.
Wemmbu realized his mistake and quickly backpedalled. “What? No, obviously I was joking too. Who would even believe that?” He laughed and began walking to the door. “Okay now that I’ve explained everything, can we get to the part where you teach me all that stuff you were doing earlier?” he asked quickly for no particular reason.
Flame looked at him for a few seconds. “...Whatever bro, sure.”
—
The sound of something clicking around his neck woke Wemmbu up with a start.
He sat up fast enough to make himself dizzy and darted his bleary eyes around the prison cell he’d been in for the past few days. Nobody had come into his cell this whole time, not even to give him food, so he was on guard.
He hadn’t even been sure he should sleep in the first place but eventually his body betrayed him and he had no choice. One could only stay awake for so many days he supposed. But now he was facing the consequences of that.
Lettuce was in front of him, grinning with all his teeth.
Wemmbu sat back a little on the thin blanket he was given as a ‘mattress’. He wasn’t afraid of Lettuce, not even a little. But given that Wemmbu had no armor on and practically nothing to defend himself with right now compared to Lettuce who was fully geared in netherite, there was a bit of a power imbalance. And Wemmbu didn’t particularly want to die right now, so he had to be at least a little cautious.
“Good morning sleepyhead!” Lettuce greeted him cheerfully, taking a step forward and leaning over him. “I didn’t mean to wake you, poor thing.” Wemmbu’s nose turned at Lettuce’s words. “I just wanted to make sure that fancy little device there found its way to you!”
Lettuce pointed, and Wemmbu reached a hand up to his neck to find cold metal. It was tight, leaving barely any room for movement. “What is this?” he asked, voice coming out scratchy from not using it for a few days. He really needed to speed up his escape process.
“Oh nothing,” Lettuce giggled, twirling something around his finger. “Just something I had a couple redstoners make for me. I think it’ll be very useful for what I have planned for you.”
Wemmbu looked up at Lettuce, not liking the amount of height between them right now. There wasn’t much he could do though, since he was still weak from the lack of food they’d given him, and he wasn’t sure if he could stand without it being obvious that he was lightheaded. “Is this some sort of necklace?” he joked, trying to keep his voice steady. Staying calm would probably be best in this situation, but it was hard when everything he said made Lettuce smile wider.
“If you want to think about it that way then sure! I love a little positivity in the workplace y’know?” He stopped twirling the object in his hands and shifted his gaze to it. Wemmbu’s eyes followed. “That reminds me actually,” he hovered his thumb over the button on the controller-looking thing and began gently stroking it, “I need to test if this works!” His expression turned almost maniacal as his grin nearly split across his face.
Wemmbu watched in almost slow motion as Lettuce's thumb finally pushed down on the button and…
…That was it? All he felt was a small prick in the side of his neck, it didn’t even hurt. Honestly with the way Lettuce was acting, Wemmbu expected the thing to rip his head off or something.
Though, he realized as Lettuce’s smile never faltered and the room around him lost its focus, maybe he should be worried about the lack of pain.
Panic took over as Wemmbu lost control of his limbs and fell to the side, banging his head on the obsidian floor hard enough to leave a mark. He tried to speak, to ask Lettuce what the hell he was doing to him, but his mouth wouldn’t move.
He could do nothing but watch helplessly from the floor as whatever he was given took over his body and eventually knocked him out cold.
—
“What the hell am I looking at?”
Flame swung his sword again before glancing over at Wemmbu curiously. “You guys don’t have these either? Do you have anything over there bro?”
Wemmbu squinted at the squirming things trapped in front of him. He’d reached out to touch one earlier but it bit him, so he kept his hands to the side. Just like clockwork, every thirty-ish seconds, Flame would swing out his sword and kill them all in one go, leaving a bunch of glowing orbs that would absorb into his sword and armor.
And Wemmbu was the weird one in this situation?
“Uh, no bro, I’ve never seen anything even remotely similar to this before.”
Flame looked at him like he was crazy, for some reason, before gesturing for them to switch who was in front of the… thing. “Bro how do you come from a so-called ‘Pvp Civilization’, but literally know nothing about basic combat techniques and equipment. Do you guys even pvp or do you just hold hands and sing in a little bubble?”
Wemmbu glared at him as the sound of more creatures increased in front of him. “You literally said earlier that I was good at using the sword!” He wanted to swing at Flame to get his point across, but they’d been “training” most of the day—which mostly consisted of Flame complaining that Wemmbu didn’t know about a bunch of techniques and items while they traded blows—so he was a bit too exhausted to be bothered. “You can’t take that back now, I was holding my own earlier!”
“That’s cause I was holding back earlier bro. If I were really trying I would have beat you with my eyes closed.” He nodded his head to the contraption in front of them. “Come on, swing your sword bro. Remember what I told you about xp earlier? It’ll heal your stuff. It’d be a waste if it broke.”
“There is no way you were holding back earlier bro,” Wemmbu replied instead, ignoring the last part of what Flame said. “I saw you, you were struggling!”
Flame crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. “Yeah no I definitely wasn’t.”
“Yes you were!” Wemmbu crossed his arms as well, not willing to back down. Because there was just no way Flame was that good. “You definitely were bro, I saw you.”
“No I wasn’t. I’m pretty sure I would know whether or not I was struggling, and I wasn’t.” Flame pushed a piece of hair out of his face and continued, “Look bro, you’re definitely not terrible, I’ll give you that. But let’s not get ahead of our-”
The sound of something landing heavily against the ground next to them cut Flame off and caused them both to snap their heads toward the noise, swords already out.
“What the-” Flame took a step forward before Wemmbu could even get a good look at the person in front of them and practically blocked his whole line of sight before speaking again, “Egg?”
The egg in question dusted himself off and stood up straighter. “Oh, hey Flamefrags,” a monotone voice spoke, “don’t mind me bro, I was just looking for Wemmbu.” He stepped around Flame to Wemmbu and opened his mouth to speak before their eyes met and Egg froze dead in his tracks.
Egg’s wings, which Wemmbu had only just now realized the existence of, puffed out around him as he took a wide step back, and all of his eyes, the dozens that were in rings around his head, were blown wide and focused directly on him. In the blink of an eye, he’d drawn a bow and pointed it straight at Wemmbu’s forehead.
The next words were spoken sharply and deathly serious, “Yo what is this? Who the hell are you?”