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1. A Loser's Guide On How (Not) To Die by BizzyBeeIzzy

   Fandoms: Dispatch (Video Game)  

   • Mature
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • F/M, M/M
   • Work in Progress

   17 Jan 2026

   Tags

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Waterboy (Dispatch)/You
   • Robert Robertson | Mecha Man
   • Flambae | Chad (Dispatch)
   • Prism (Dispatch)
   • Sonar (Dispatch)
   • Golem | Bruno (Dispatch)
   • Invisigal | Courtney (Dispatch)
   • Blonde Blazer | Mandy (Dispatch)
   • Phenomaman (Dispatch)
   • Coupé | Janelle (Dispatch)
   • Punch Up (Dispatch)
   • reader is referred too with nonbinary pronouns
   • reader is also referred too with male/female terms
   • it is up to you how they are seen as lmao
   • Suicidal Reader-Insert
   • or more like passively suicidal
   • there isnt a passively suicidal reader tag so we are going w that instead
   • Gender-Neutral Reader-Insert
   • No Use of Y/N for Reader-Insert
   • Reader-Insert Has Powers
   • reader also went their entire life not knowing they had powers so ermm
   • this sorta reads as a crack fic sometimes so
   • Crack Treated Seriously
   • the whole concept was very stupid so
   • waterboy may be a bit of a freak
   • Other Additional Tags to Be Added
   • Reader-Insert Dies
   • but not permanently dead
   • (yet)
   • ((MAYBE))
   • reader is poc btw
   • i cannot write a fic without making them spanish in some way
   • my bad gang but im not white
   • there are ocs in this fic but they just serve as background fluff
   • sorry to anyone named brittney btw
   • Z-Team as Family (Dispatch)
   • Z-Team Shenanigans (Dispatch)
   • Idiots in Love
   • Self-Esteem Issues
   • idiots FALLING in love is that a thing or is that the same as idiots in love i wouldnt know

   Summary

   You've gone your whole life practically just... floating through it. You don't do much other than what's needed to survive (in the most basic form of it, anyway).

   In an impulsive move, though, you've decided to move from your hometown to Torrence, where you eventually get a job as a dispatcher. What can go wrong?

   Series

   • Part 2 of Waiter! More Dispatching, Please!

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   29,887

   Chapters:

   11/?

   Comments:

   118

   Kudos:

   188

   Bookmarks:

   23

   Hits:

   3,073