Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Look Out!
the prologue
⟡⟡⟡

⟡

Kara Zor-El
13 years old
Argo City, Krypton

There's one thing that's faster than any superhuman in the whole multiverse. The fastest being in the world can never evade this torture. Neither could I. Nor will I ever, I think.

That's grief. One way or another, it always catches up.

I thought I'd thwarted it when I didn't cry for Krypton and its inhabitants. My extended family, all gone except for my baby cousin. Yet not a tear had been shed. Selfishly, I was glad I was safe from the lamenting.

But in reality I'd just been in shock. My mind simply did not accept that my world had been destroyed. The grief was there, festering. Growing and spreading like an infection. Alive as ever, only bottled up.

Then, when my mother died, the bottle cracked and broke. And everything seeped out.

Kryptonite poisoning. Despite Argo City surviving the explosion, we were now being attacked by our own land. The soil under our feet was turning into the one thing that could kill us all. If there was any hope, it died with Alura In-Ze.

The air-filtration engines needed manpower to work. Miners were needed for the minerals. Father led the workers, despite having just lost his wife. Despite knowing it was all in vain. The people began working not to save themselves, but to distract their minds from the feeling of impending doom. We buried our terror in our work, otherwise our terror would bury us.

Like a true child, I followed my father's steps. He mined, and so did I. I cried for my home while hacking away at the soil. I cried for my mother while feebly attempting to put up my yellow hair the same way she did. I cried for my life all the time. My friends. My teachers. My hopes.

The work was all futile. Father's dispatch messages had not reached a single soul. If the Kryptonite poisoning didn't kill us first, the dome had begun quivering and nearing the end of its power. Even at thirteen, I knew the truth. This was the end.

Until Father called me one day when the dome began shaking and wouldn't stop. The streets were filled with the cries of terrified confused people. In his office, father quickly explained something about a rocket he'd started working on with his brother, my uncle Jor-El. Its power was immense and could keep its occupant alive for years if need be. Most of all, it could detect other Kryptonian rockets and follow course.

I looked at the cylindrical tube-like machine, full of buttons and wires, knowing what would be said next.

"It has only one pseatlace." Father looked at me --really looked at me-- for the first time since everything. His blue eyes focused on mine. "Kara, my daughter, you are all that I have left. But I refuse to let you die here by my side. I plan for you to have a long life."

All around us, a deep rumbling sounded through the air, followed by the distant shrieks of my people. Argo City had reached the end of its course.

Somehow I got in the rocket. Maybe I jumped in, maybe Father pushed me. But before I knew it, Father was clicking buttons and pulling levers and about to close the pod on me.

"Father," I said quickly, fear and anguish gripping my voice. My lip trembled and I squeezed my eyes shut. "What do I do?"

What was there to do?

"The rocket will follow the course my brother's rocket took. Wherever your cousin went, you will go too," Father said, as he pressed his lips to my forehead. "Kal-El is only an infant. You must go and take care of him, Kara. Keep the House of El alive. Do well, my daughter."

Through the warped glass as I flew through space, I was able to see Argo City giving in on itself. The rocket was soundproof, fortunately. Otherwise I was sure my wails would've been heard across the whole galaxy.

That was the first time I'd felt truly and utterly alone. But it was only the beginning of the years that would come.

⟡

Kara Danvers
13 years old -sort of
Midvale, Kansas

Eliza and Jeremiah Danvers were sitting across the table from me, watching me as I ate the meal they provided. Even though I was confused and tired, I did not forget my manners. I ate and silently thanked them for the food. Although, what they really wanted was answers. Answers that I could not give because I didn't understand them and unless my infant cousin had managed to spread the Kryptonian language in this little time, I doubted they would understand me if I tried. So, silence it was.

I had crash-landed in a stretch of farmland, where a woman had found me and taken me into her home. Her hair was like mine, and for a kryptonite-infused delirious second while she was carrying me through stalks of grass, I had called her 'Mother', like an idiot.

There had been a piece of Kryptonite in the guts of the rocket that broke out when we hit Earth and lodged in my leg, rendering me hurt and weakened. The woman wrapped some sort of strong-smelling bandage around it, but all I really needed was the sun. So I waited until sunrise and let my body regenerate in the light.

My trust in Uncle Jor-El paid off. This planet --Earth, as the rocket's system had told me right before we landed, where they spoke a multitude of languages-- had a yellow sun. Which meant that unless Kal-El was in the bottom of a dark well or something, he must be safe and alive.

Along with the sun, its people also resembled Kryptonians. Blending in should be easy. Still, the fact that I landed in a rocket was enough for the Danverses to be suspicious.

Understandably so.

Even though we didn't understand one another, sharing names was simple enough. The universal language of pointing at yourself and repeating your name until the other person gets it. That was how I learned that the people who took me in were called Eliza and Jeremiah. Both with the surname Danvers, so I had assumed that they were siblings.

The kissing quickly told me otherwise.

"Kara." I caught my name amidst the illegible talking between the two. Eliza was speaking to me --or trying. She said a word of a single syllable and pointed broadly at the ground. "Kansas."

I nodded. I knew that already. One of the many alphabets from across the universe we learned in Krypton was Roman Latin, the most commonly used alphabet on Earth. The first thing I had done when I'd woken up in a warm room --a nice break from the coldness of space-- was look around for anything that might tell me where I was. By some luck, there was a placard on the wall of a map with "MIDVALE" at the top and "KANSAS, USA" on the bottom, in the only alphabet that I knew from this planet.

But there were lots of other letters too. "Eliza" "DEO" "Bones". So I wasn't truly sure until Eliza told me.

"Kansas," she repeated. It sounded different from how I had pronounced it, as did all of the names. "You," Eliza said, pointing at me. She pointed vaguely in the sky and then made a hand-twist gesture.

Where was I from? I bit my lip and looked down at my hands.

Eliza and Jeremiah had done me a kindness. Taking me in, giving me clothes --albeit strange ones that fit me too big--, not calling whatever their version of the Military Guild was and having me imprisoned for trespassing on their land.

I doubted that the people here even knew about the planet Krypton, otherwise they would have helped us when it exploded. But I still felt apprehensive.

I stayed silent.

"Kara?" This time it was Jeremiah who talked. Unlike Eliza, he spoke like I was supposed to understand him. Fast and loud, like he was being chased by a predator. I frowned in confusion.

"Jeremiah," Eliza said, annoyed.

Suddenly the man got up and disappeared up the stairs. The house was unlike anything I'd seen before. The walls and furniture weren't made of stone or any such mineral, and it felt pretty weak to the touch. But the smell was agreeable, and the sound it made was nice.

I was busy carefully tapping my knuckle against the surface of the table when Jeremiah returned. "(Incoherent garbling) --Kara."

I glanced up and very nearly ended Jeremiah's life then and there. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, and in his hands were my tattered clothes --my mother's garments I had been sent in. The last memory I had of her --of home. For some reason, seeing them handled by a stranger, I lost it. Maybe I thought he would steal or ruin them more, or hide them from me until I told the truth

For a second hysteria took over me. I was not aware of what I was doing when I sped towards Jeremiah and yanked the things out of his hands, nor when I began yelling at him.

"Do not touch those!"

My breathing was heavy and shallow as it hit me what I had just done. Jeremiah and Eliza looked at me with slack jaws and wide eyes. It was not only the confusion at my language, it was the shock of seeing me move from my chair to the foot of the stairs within a millisecond. I had slipped.

If they try to hurt or imprison me, I said internally with a ferocious willpower, I will end their lives.

Jeremiah took a step towards me. I responded by backing away as far as the wall would let me, into a corner of the stair-platform. Both of them froze. Jeremiah said a word. Eliza said something to Jeremiah. Then he slowly began backing away, back to the table, where my plate still sat.

I slid down the wall and sat on the carpeted floor with my knees curled up. A patch of sunlight shone down on me from the small window up the wall. I inhaled my mother's scent, closing my eyes. It made me feel a bit better.

The couple began talking, glancing at me once in a while. But they didn't look angry or like they were plotting, they looked... worried.

Some words kept repeating. "Rocket", "Russia", "Country", and of course, "Kara". I blocked them out after a few minutes, my mind reeling. Amidst the general fear and grief, one anguishing thought kept repeating,

"I want to go home."

It was silly, I knew. I was too old for homesickness. Yet I couldn't deny my feelings. I didn't want to be here in this strange place, with people that didn't know me, whom I didn't understand and who in turn didn't understand me the least. It was frustrating and... scary. Somehow, I felt lonelier then than when I was floating around in the vast emptiness of space. I just wanted my people.

The only thing that made me feel better was the thought of my cousin. Sure, he was but an infant, but that only meant I'd have a companion for life. He might've been as lonely as I was. I had to find him, though I still wasn't sure how.

Find Kal-El, then everything will make sense, I told myself. Again and again, until it drowned out the homesickness.

At one point I must've fallen into a dreamless sleep, because the next thing I knew, I was being woken up by the sound of scuffling clothes. Eliza had seated herself at the foot of the stairs with her back to the banister. The sun had just set --the sky was the dull light blue of twilight-- yet I was already missing it.

Eliza smiled and I gave her a small weak smile back. Then she handed me two pieces of paper and said something with the word "you" in it. The papers were full of handwritten words and symbols. On one at the top I recognized Eliza's name, and next to it a photograph of her smiling face --only her hair was shorter there. It was a form, I realized. And she wanted me to fill out the other one with hers as help.

I gave Eliza a look. She immediately put her hands up and started talking in an apologetic way. Then she left, which I assumed meant "I don't mean to pressure you."

I looked at the papers for a long time. I wouldn't tell them where I was from out of fear, but there was no harm in telling them other stuff like my height. Besides, I felt like I owed them for their kindness.

I filled it in to the extent of my understanding. Which wasn't a lot, but it was something. I wrote my age as XIII and stared for a long time at the strange symbols on Eliza's paper. Then I attempted to sketch a self-portrait in the place where it said "PHOTO". I'd never been much of an artist, so, to nobody's surprise, it was bordering on unsightly and didn't look like me at all.

Multiple times, when I was deep in trying to make sense of a certain phrase or question, I caught myself writing out the familiar words of Krypton. Even my hands were homesick, I thought with a wry chuckle.

But that was when it really hit me. That I was the last person in the galaxy to truly speak, to know, this language. I could teach Kal-El, but it wouldn't be the same. From now on, we must write our names in Latin, forever and always unless it was for our own enjoyment.

Besides, I wasn't a teacher to bring up Kal-El well. I wasn't a mother. I wasn't wise enough --I had no idea what I was doing; I was thirteen, and so lonely it felt like my heart was tearing itself apart inside of my ribs.

The last Kryptonian-speaker. The last person with memories of the planet --not recordings, not sound waves, but true memories. My mother's smile, the wrinkles on the sides of my father's eyes as he concentrated, the joy on my aunt's face when she brought her child into the world.

A short world it was.

Do well, my daughter.

Could I?

Droplets of water blurred the ink that formed my name, as tears trickled from the corners of my eyes down the tip of my nose. I was getting a bit sick of crying, though I knew many tears were still to come. I ferociously wiped my face with the hem of my sleeve. Then I crumpled up Eliza's forms and hurled them across the room.

But the tears didn't stop. They never really have.

⟡

"Kara, time to go."

"Okay," I said. I got up from my seat at the table and shrugged on my jacket --also too big. There wasn't much that fit me in this house. Eliza and Jeremiah didn't have any children, and I was just a size too small compared to Eliza's build. But it was fine, the big clothes felt like a very oversized hug. Though I did feel a bit ridiculous in this coat that whose sleeves nearly reached my calves. I wouldn't be giving this Mr Bones a very good first impression.

We were going to meet him to see what to do about me. Apparently he was Eliza and Jeremiah's boss, and he managed a sort of Military-Guild-esque organization to do with... something? I wasn't sure. But I trusted Eliza and Jeremiah enough.

"Turn the television off, please," Jeremiah said as he passed towards the door.

"Okay." It was only blasting the news, anyway. I liked the moving drawings better. For these past weeks, I'd been watching this funny box so often and so long the Danverses had to put me on curfew.

I grabbed the remote from the coffee table, littered with folders stained with coffee--

And froze at the sight of the screen.

"Director Bones is calling," Eliza sighed. "We have to go now."

"Kara, turn the TV off and come on."

There was a pause as they realized that I wasn't budging.

"Kara," Jeremiah repeated.

"Come on. We're in a hurry. Kara? Can you hear me?"

"Kara?"

The remote slipped from my hand and fell to the ground with a clatter. "Uncle," I whispered. The couple froze at the sound of the foreign language.

On the screen, flying in a blue suit with our family's emblem on his chest and a red cape fluttering behind him, was my uncle Jor. Or was it... Father? He resembled aunt Lara too. The images mixed and merged in my mind, until for a horrible second I'd felt like I'd forgotten my father's face. I blinked.

No, it wasn't Father, or Uncle. It was a strange mix of the whole family of El. Like a reminder of what I'd lost. A son of El. A child of Krypton. But it didn't make sense. How could this be?

"Kara?" Eliza said gently, carefully like I might explode.

I turned to them, still pointing at the screen. "Family," I said in English. I didn't know how, I didn't know who, but the facts were plain and clear. This man, one way or another, was my family. I might as well make a clean breast of everything now.

They looked at one another, then at the screen, then at me, and back again. "Superman?" Jeremiah said. "You're Superman's family?"

I jutted my finger at the blue-eyed man. "Him."

"Yes, that's Superman," Eliza explained. "Superman --Kal-El-- is your family?"

Kal-El.

If Eliza had slapped me across the face, it would've produced a similar effect.

The puzzle pieces clicked together as the room spun around me in lopsided circles. This man was Kal-El. Somehow, years had gone by on this planet while I was traveling across space. Suddenly it all made sense. The rocket didn't measure time in the same way as one would on a planet. One year had passed in space, while dozens had passed here.

"Shit," Eliza whispered in amazement.

"Call Mr Bones," Jeremiah ordered. His wife immediately began tapping away at her device. "Get him to get in contact with Superman." He turned to me. "Kara, go up to your room."

My eyes snapped to him. "Why?" I asked, taking a step back.

"Just do as I say," he said impatiently. "Please."

There was a change in the atmosphere. I felt it in the marrow of my bones, in the pit of my stomach. Something had shifted. All of a sudden, I wasn't just a strange foreign girl Eliza and Jeremiah wanted to return to her parents like a lost package. I was something valuable, something to hide. Something to use.

"Kara, you're going to listen to us right this instant," Eliza said sternly with a hand over her phone. Her eyes were fierce and angry, so unlike the kind gaze that had tried to coax me out of stubborn secrecy that day on the stairwell.

I didn't like it. It was like being yelled at by my mother. A worse version of her, because there was no relation. These people didn't owe me anything.

But neither did I, then.

I flew to the room in the attic before either of them could repeat themselves. They were probably glad I'd finally listened, glad this brat was doing as they told her.

It would take them at least a minute before they realized that sending me to a second-story room was as useless as trying to trap a wild hound with yarn. Within a minute, I had already packed my few belongings and was flying over the farmlands of Kansas.

I landed not that far from the Danvers farmhouse. I spotted the nearest person --a middle-aged man wearing a straw hat-- and approached him. Given that he had just seen me dive in from the sky, he looked shocked to the core.

"Hello, sir," I said politely. "What way Metropolis?"

The man pointed a shaky finger eastward.

"Thank you, sir," I said, and didn't waste a second before taking to the air again.

The country landscapes flashed by as I flew above clouds and sky, the sun warming my back. My hair and clothes fluttered in the breeze. Farmland, miles of it, were followed by green forests, then a mountain range. Until at last, I saw the vast body of water I had seen on the television. As I began dropping down, there was Metropolis. Shining white in the pale sun, with its towering buildings and glimmering port.

My cousin was in this place. The answer to all my questions was somewhere among the bustling streets of the city.

It didn't take long to find him. One attempt at super-hearing and a few rounds of zapping from place to place, there he was. He was standing on a roof overlooking the city, talking to a woman I didn't recognize.

The television didn't betray a thing. Wide frame, curly hair. He truly was the spitting image of Uncle Jor-El. He truly was my baby cousin.

"Kal-El," I called, my voice shaking like a leaf.

Both of them turned around and immediately did a double-take. I was floating in the air, my fists balled to my sides like I was about to charge at Kal. The woman put a hand over her gaping mouth, her eyebrows furrowed in shock. She said something to Kal that I didn't catch, her wide blue eyes fixed on me. He didn't respond.

"Hello," Kal said, cautiously floating towards me. "Are-- Are you okay?"

Something like a cry and a laugh escaped my throat. "No, no I'm not," I sobbed. Kal didn't understand --of course he didn't. But he should. It wasn't right --none of this was right. "I'm not okay, because I'm your cousin and you don't even know. I should have taken care of you --my father told me so. But where were you? Where were you, Kal-El?"

"Listen, uh-- please, I don't understand you," he said, grabbing my shoulders gently.

"Well you should! How dare you not know me! You were the last person-- You were the last!" I was shouting now, my voice ringing in my skull as I shoved and punched at my cousin.

The woman pressed her palms to her ears. "Clark!" she called, worried.

I didn't even stop to think who she might be calling for, or if it was some new word I hadn't learned yet. I was too angry. I was too confused. My mind felt like it was going to explode. My eyes were hot with tears.

"It's okay!" Kal said to the woman below. Then to me, "It's okay. I... I don't know what's going on but I'll figure it out. You'll be okay."

"No, I won't!" But he didn't grasp what I was saying. Frustration boiled up in me. I felt like a toddler incapable of speech, yet needing to express its feelings. "Why can't you understand me, Kal?" I shouted, pushing him a bit too hard. "You're supposed to understand me-- This isn't how things were supposed to go!" I gasped for breath as I wiped my face. "This isn't fair!"

I knew I was being childish. I knew that my cousin had no say in growing up --I knew that he didn't even know I existed prior to this. But that didn't take away from the sheer pain ripping me apart from the inside out.

The one goal I had for being in this place had gone up in smoke. Kal-El didn't need me. No one did, because they already had him.

The same question I had asked my father escaped my lips once more, "What do I do?"

My cousin didn't say anything. I was sure he didn't have an inkling of what was going on, he only knew what he saw. An upset, angry teenage girl that needed a hug.

And he did just that.

⟡

I didn't want to go back to the Danverses. I wanted to stay with my cousin. I had been given a glimpse of home and I never wanted to leave it again. But it was too dangerous. I was too dangerous.

Kal-El --whose earth name was apparently Clark Kent-- agreed with the DEO's plan. That was who Eliza and Jeremiah worked for. Mr Bones, who lived up to his name by being a live skeleton, decided the best course of action was to confine me to the Danvers farmhouse until further notice.

For simplicity's sake, the Danverses also decided to adopt me. They were weeding out the foreignness in me, I thought bitterly. I didn't bear my father's name anymore, I wasn't allowed to speak Kryptonian anymore --not that anyone would understand. From now on, I was Kara Danvers, the rowdy teenage girl Eliza and Jeremiah decided to adopt from whatever a "third world country" meant.

"We can't have aliens flying around like they own the place," Mr Bones said, his jaw cracking as he spoke from behind his grand desk. "Keep her on a leash if you have to, Danvers."

I glared at him. "I'd like to see you try," I said in my mother tongue, but the message was delivered and promptly understood through my tone.

"Uhm-- It's just a saying, Kara," Kal-- Clark said with an awkward chuckle, trying to keep the peace. "No one will actually keep you on a leash."

I glared at him too. I had told him the whole story of Argo City, and the rocket, and the possibility of years having passed while I'd been floating in space. Everything that I refused to tell earlier, now came seeping out. Since I could understand him but not vice versa, the "explanations" consisted of Kal/Clark making wild guesses and me nodding or shaking my head. With the help of my weak, non-existent art skills, we had the whole family tree and history mapped out.

I thought it would help. I thought that meant I could stay with my family. But all he did was translate the best he could, and leave my fate up to these strangers.

Even with the face of my uncle, all Kal-El that was at this moment, was a stranger. I knew him, but he didn't know me.

Alone, again.

Jeremiah tightened his hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, sir, we'll keep her in line. No more flying about or super-speed."

I shoved his hand away and sunk into my seat, arms crossed. My eyes subtly roved around the room, weighing my options. Door? There were guards stationed there, and even if I were to thwart them, then what? I'd be zooming around a building aimlessly. Window? Kal would catch up to me within no time.

No escaping from Kara Danvers.

Right this second, my cousin was giving me a significant look. I realized with a muttered curse that he could sense my x-ray vision, and could tell what I was planning. The heat rose in my cheeks as I glanced away.

"What about the public?" asked Lois Lane, my cousin's wife or girlfriend or whatever it was called here. She was the woman on the roof whose eardrums I'd violated. I hadn't seen many people on earth, but I knew she was pretty, with her lean figure and pale eyes. "A good handful of people saw Kara flying around. What do we say?"

Bones waved a skeletal hand. "Let them think what they want to think. It'll die out in a week or so."

Lois clearly wasn't satisfied with this answer. "Right, but people are scared--"

"Then shut up about it so the fear wanes," answered Bones impatiently. Lois looked like she was considering shoving her pen in his eye socket. "Now I want all of you out of my office."

Outside in the bitter evening cold, Kal stopped me before I got into the Danverses' car. The sun was setting, like a bad omen. I sunk into my oversized jacket as I looked up at my cousin.

"Kara, I'm sorry," he said, grabbing my hand. "But this is for your own good."

I shook my head. "No," I said bitterly as I yanked my hand away. "For you, not me."

"Kara! Car!" Jeremiah called.

"Yes, I come!" I snapped with a frustrated gesture. "You say no super-speed, then no waiting!"

Kal gave Lois, who was standing by their car, a worried look which she returned. But when he turned to me once more, he smiled. "Farewell," he said in Kryptonian. Probably a word he'd learnt from his parents' message. I imagined Uncle Jor and Aunt Lara saying that last sweet word to their infant, before evaporating in the Kryptonite blast.

"Bye," I told him in English.

As we drove away in silence, I pressed my face against the window, like I was trying to make it abundantly clear that I did not want to be here. Lois and Kal were embracing. I saw the concern she had for him on her face, in the way she hugged him like he might fly away.

It must be nice to have someone.

⟡

Kara
15 years old
Metropolis

Kal took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was pacing from one side of the office to another, and he'd bumped into at least three chairs and broken two on accident already. It was safe to say he was a bit stressed by my presence.

"Let me get this straight," he began. "You got arrested for..."

He struggled to word it prettily, so I honorably interrupted, "Fighting a boy, yes."

"No, no, Kara," he said. "That's not fighting. That's a manslaughter attempt."

"Oh, he'll be fine."

Kal stopped short in front of me. "He's in the hospital with a face so bruised his own friends didn't recognize him, a sprained neck, broken collarbone and shoulder, dislocated elbow, three broken fingers and a punctured lung." He gestured with wide arms in a what-the-hell-dude way.

Being lectured was never fun, but especially not when it was by your little cousin. I shrugged, looking away. "So?"

"'So'?" he repeated, his voice rising, and his blood pressure too. "Kara, that is not okay! You can understand that, right? You can understand that beating people isn't nice?"

"I can, dude, I'm not a kid. But he was being an asshole to Krypto," I said. "What, do you want me to just stand around and watch my dog get whacked around like a baseball? No, I gave the brat what he deserved. And I bet he won't be hurting any dogs from now on, so here. I saved you from tracking down a serial dog-abuser. You should be thanking me, Kalark."

"Don't call me that, please," he sighed.

"Okay, Klal."

He ran a hand over his ruddy curls. I could almost see the patience trickling out of his being with every new thing that came out of my mouth. No wonder he called Lois two seconds after I arrived here.

"This boy, he was hitting Krypto with a baseball bat?" Kal asked.

"Yeah." I shrug. "Called me a bunch of names too, but I don't care," I added in a mumble.

Kal paused, frowning. Of course he heard me. "Names?"

I threw my head back and let out a deep breath. "Oh, my lovely guardians didn't tell you?" I said, lacing my voice in sarcasm. "I'm pretty infamous around town. I'm the girl parents don't let their daughters hang out with. That violent, drunk Danvers girl."

"Kara..."

"Bleh, I don't like this," I said with a shudder. "Weren't we talking about the kid whose face I beat in? Let's get back to that, shall we?"

"Who beat a kid's face in?" Lois's voice was heard echoing through the empty office. Both of our faces lit up at the sight of her, coming towards us with her coat in her arms.

"Hi, Lois!" I said quickly, partly because I wanted to piss off Kal by getting the first word in.

"Hi, what's this about a dead child?" she asked as she gave her boyfriend a hug.

"Not dead," I said.

"Yeah, just in the ICU. No biggie," Kal said, glaring at me over Lois's shoulder. I stuck my tongue out at him in response. "Sorry for the late call."

"It's fine." She gave him a quick kiss before turning to me. Eyes narrowed, hands on her hips. The disappointment-face. "Kara. Violence is not--"

"The boy was hurting Krypto," I said.

"I take it back. He had it coming."

"What?" Kal exclaimed in a shrill voice. "No, don't take her side, Lois!"

"I'm not taking any sides," she said innocently. "I'm just saying, people who abuse animals maybe deserve some broken bones."

"Thank you!" I laughed.

Lois cut my joy short with another hit of the disappointment-glare. "That doesn't mean that you're not in the wrong, Kara. The DEO's going to be pissed, more pissed than we are. And not only at you but at your guardians as well."

"Yeah, some guardian-ing they do," I muttered.

The thought seemed to hit them both at the same time. "Where are Mr and Mrs Danvers?" asked Lois, at the same time that Kal said, "Wait, are your parents here?"

"Not my parents," I corrected. "And, no, they're not. I don't know where they are. Could be in the apartment next door, could be across the galaxy."

"Who bailed you out then, when you were arrested?" he asked.

My brows furrowed. "What's that mean?"

Kal's blood pressure spiked. "Kara, please don't tell me you broke out of jail," he whispered, like he was afraid he might speak it into existence.

"Course not." He deflated. "I just got out of the car before we got to the station."

Another blood pressure spike.

I held up my wrists, where the handcuffs peeked over the sleeves of my jacket. "They're kind of pretty as bracelets," I remarked.

Kal didn't seem to agree. "Lois, help," he croaked.

The Man of Steel's knight in shining armor: Lois Lane. She peered at me, arms crossed, and it felt like I was being read like a book. At last, she nodded. "Your guardians aren't home often, are they?" she guessed.

"Haven't seen either for months now," I admitted.

"You've been living alone?" Kal asked incredulously, brows furrowed in worry.

"I don't mind. It's not like they do much anyway."

"You might not mind, but we do," Lois said. She tapped her finger on her arm for a few seconds, thinking. "Okay. We have two options," she continued, all journalist-like. "The first one we've discussed before already: making Kara Supergirl."

Kal grimaced. "I don't think that's a good idea." He darted a glance at me. "Er-- too much pressure, you know?"

"You can just say that you're scared I'll go on a punching rampage," I said.

"He can't, but I will," Lois said. "You're too violent, Kara. Simply said." I shrugged in agreement. "And it's a lot of pressure, what with the public. So we'll hold off Supergirl for a bit."

"What's the second option?" asked Kal.

"Kansas."

"I'm okay with that," I said with a shrug.

"Not to the Danvers' house," Lois specified. "To the Kents'."

In a split second, a multitude of expressions flashed across my cousin's face: surprise, unadulterated horror, panic, thoughtfulness, and then acceptance. Fascinating to behold, honestly.

"That might be a good idea," he mused.

"Of course, only if you give the green light," Lois added.

"I think I'm okay with that. You're so smart, Lois."

She flashed him a grin. "Tell me something I don't know."

"Is anyone going to ask for my thumbs up or are you just going to keep flirting?" I asked in a deadpan tone.

"No, because you don't get a say in this," Lois said sternly.

"Yes, you're going to Kansas whether you like it or not," Kal agreed. Him trying to be harsh was so out of character it almost made me laugh.

"Whatever."

Chances were, I was going to be out of that house as quickly as I'd enter it. Matter of fact, I had set my mind on refusing to cooperate. The Danverses had given up on me --and they were qualified agents to work with aliens. What made these two think a couple of borderline-senile farm owners were going to be any different?

Despite my protests, the day came soon enough. Kal's home-farm was almost a carbon copy of the Danverses', bringing back all sorts of unwanted feelings and memories of the past two years. Screaming sessions. Banging my door shut so hard it blew off its hinges. Months and months of continuous loneliness. The threat of Bones's "safety measures" always looming over my head.

"Listen," Kal said as he stopped the car. Solemn, all of a sudden. "I said that I care about you, and I do --it's why I'm going through with this. But I care about my parents too. If I find that you've been giving them trouble, I will..." He paused. I raised my eyebrows in anticipation. "I will be very upset with you, Kara. Extremely upset. So please, at least try to keep yourself from your usual Kara-ness. For my parents' sake, okay?"

"Dude, I'm not evil to go around bullying old people," I said. "They're like, on death's doorstep."

"Okay, don't say that." He sighed as he pressed his forehead to the steering wheel. "This is fine," he whispered, more to himself than to me. "Totally fine."

Grumblingly, I got out and heaved my luggage over my shoulder. I won't be giving them heart attacks, I thought with a grin, if they don't catch me. I could so as I pleased, pretty much. Old people on this planet were pretty dense and self-absorbed. I could lie to their faces and they wouldn't even think to look twice.

"Good morning!"

I startled so hard I nearly totaled my cousin's car. At first the kind voice seemed to be coming out of nowhere, but after a quick look downwards, I saw it was a short, stout, gray-haired lady with such a smile you could barely see her eyes. She took my hand and shook it warmly, her other hand on my other arm.

"It's very nice to meet you," she continued, her voice crackly but sweet. "You must be Kara!"

"Uh-- I-- Hi," I stammered.

"I'm Martha, and that there is Johnathan."

I nodded, still half in a daze. "I'm Kara," I said, even though she already knew that. "Uh-- Kal's my cousin-- I mean Clark." It felt a bit rude to call him the wrong --or right?-- name in front of the people who'd named him otherwise. "Is it okay if I call him Kal?" I couldn't believe I was asking permission for something as silly as that, yet there I was.

"Oh, sweetheart, you can call him whatever you like," Martha said.

I chuckled lightly. "Whatever I like?"

Kal returned a wide-eyed warning look, unable to speak in front of them. But they didn't mind. They actually laughed.

Johnathan held his hand out to me. He was short, too, with a gray beard covering a round face. "I'm Clark's father, Johnathan," he said.

His father, I realized. And this was his mother.

I thought it would be difficult to start seeing them as his parents --his earth-parents that did the raising and all-- instead of Aunt Lara and Uncle Jor. But it wasn't hard. It made the simplest sense, that these two who just radiated warmth and kindness would've brung up a person like Kal. The symbol of hope.

I also couldn't think much about it in the first place, because suddenly I was being bustled about in and around the house. Before I knew it, I had helped Martha make an apple pie, fixed a broken latch in the roof, and now Johnathan was showing me baby pictures of Kal while he and his mom were somewhere in the backyard.

I had the picture book in my lap, smiling at the silly pictures despite myself. The earliest pictures looked just the same as I'd remembered Kal, in those few weeks before everything happened. Then the ones of him as a child...

"He looks so much like Uncle," I said, accidentally voicing my thoughts. "Oh-- uh, sorry, not to be rude."

"Nothing rude about it, dear," answered Johnathan kindly.

I wondered if he and Martha understood what was going on, how I --clearly a good deal younger than my cousin-- was technically older. Or maybe they did and I was underestimating them.

I gazed at the pictures, my finger tracing over one where Kal, no older than ten, was up in a tree. He was laughing gleefully, the sun shining warmly over his face.

"Was..." My voice cracked. I cleared it and tried again, "Was Kal happy? Here, I mean, with all these people who were... different?"

I glanced up at Johnathan, sitting beside me. He lowered his eyes and smiled. "It wasn't easy," he admitted. "But, to tell you the truth, raising kids is never easy. Otherworldly or not. We had our little bumps, as all parents do, but..." He looked out of the window, where Martha and Kal could be seen picking various plants and putting them in a basket. All smiles and excitement. Johnathan's smile widened, but his eyes glistened. "Our hopes, above all, was to keep him loved. And I think we did that well."

My days at the Kents did me good, better than anything Bones or Jeremiah could've cooked up. I won't say that Martha and Johnathan turned me into some kind of saint or angel. I was still me, baggage and all.

But it's a marvel what some good old fashioned love can do to someone. No wonder Kal turned out this way.

I'd never be like him, not completely. But it's tempting to try and come close. To try to be "super" in my own way.

And so, Supergirl was born.

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Chapter Text

Look Out!
chapter one; in which Kara is definitely, totally, completely sober

⟡⟡⟡

The first thing Kara does upon arriving at the Daily Planet is walk face-first into a glass door and crack it from top to bottom.

Her head bounces off and she scrambles back. "Ah, shit," she curses in frustration as she presses a hand to her nose. Since when was there a door there? Who decided to make glass doors anyway? She's about to shoulder through it --there's no saving it anyway, and she's in a hurry-- before noticing the security guard. He stares at her blankly. Kara clears her throat and tries to look collected.

"Good evening, good sir," she says with a polite wave of the hand.

"Good morning, Supergirl," he responds.

"Morning?" Kara frowns and throws her head up. "It's not morning, man. Sky's dark-- Look."

The guard turns his phone around to her. Okay, that definitely says six-thirty.

"Alrighty, good morning, good sir," she corrects.

"Here for an interview?" he asks.

"Uhm..." Kal told her what to say to explain her presence here, and she did listen, but she sort of kind of completely forgot everything that was said after "Kara, come to the Daily Planet".

"Yes," she says, channeling as much confidence and peering carefully at the guard to see if it's the right answer.

He doesn't seem to care. "Okay, elevator's straight in front of you when you enter." He points inside.

"Thank you," Kara says-- and crashes through the door, shards of glass raining down around her.

The security guard appears in the doorway, looking more exasperated than angry or shocked.

"I will pay you back for that," she says. "Probably." She stumbles further into the building, knocking over a clay vase in the process. It crashes to the tiled ground with a dull crack. "That too!" she adds.

Somehow Kara gets in the elevator without destroying anymore property. The bright light is an unpleasant change from the soft dark blueness of evening --or morning, technically-- and she has to squint. It reminds her of the sun, the sun that would soon evaporate the fun out of her like a true built-in buzzkill.

"Bleh." She groans and tries to press the button to the office as lightly as possible. Last time she broke it, along with the elevator doors after being stuck.

Still have to pay for that too, she reminds herself.

"Kent!" she calls as she stumbles out of the elevator. It's the safer option. Clark sounds too much like Kal, and in her state she doesn't trust herself with saying the right thing. He'd be so pissed if she exposed his real identity on accident. "Kentie!"

The daily planet office is pretty roomy and big, with lots of desks scattered around and a tv hung on the far wall. Through the floor-to-ceiling windows the first rays of sunrise start peeking over the horizon.

A dark curly head looks up from his cluttered desk. "Thank goodness," Kal says as he gets up.

"Holy shit, dude," Kara half-chuckles at the sight of him. "What happened to you?"

Kal looks half-dead, to put it lightly. His hair is sticking up in every direction, ungodly-sized bags frame his eyes, and if only Kara could make her eyes focus, she's pretty sure she'd find his glasses cracked and dusty.

"Not a night owl, are you?" she says.

"Good grief, no," he exhales. "But you're finally here. That's good." He marches back to his desk. Kara follows and plops down on his chair before he can. Kal doesn't even bat an eye, but is tapping wildly at his computer and flipping through pages of a file.

Ah, Kara thinks. Stuff has to be really bad if he doesn't react to her badgering. Maybe she shouldn't have downed that extra shot before coming here.

"Green Lantern was doing extraterrestrial investigations across different planets after a report concerning an alien going rampaging around," her cousin begins. "Guy's been gone for about a week, but now suddenly all communication with the Hall of Justice has been lost. Intercepted by something, or someone."

Kara nods, pretending she understood whatever just came out of Kal's mouth. "Mhm, uhm... remind me who this green light guy is again?"

Kal sighs. "Guy Gardner, has a green ring-- Kara, you've seen him fight alongside me so many times!"

"Okay, okay, sorry!" There's a vague memory of the guy, but she can't quite place a face on the name. "Guy..." she muses, trying to collect the last sober braincells in her head to make the connection.

Kal pinches the bridge of his nose. "He has..." He lets out a deep breath, like this is taking years off his life. "According to some people, which I don't agree with, but which gives him a very remarkable appearance, he has a... unique... haircut."

Kara aah's in realization. "Bowl Cut Guy!" she exclaims. "Right, right. Okay go on. This guy's stuck in space?"

"That might only be the least of it," Kal says dejectedly.

"So, you want me to go get him?" she asks.

"No, it's my task to do that. I should have gone with him in the first place." He takes a deep breath and runs a hand over his hair. Then he turns to Kara and grabs her shoulders. Their faces are suddenly lit up by the warm sunlight. She can already feel the alcohol fizzling out of her. "I'm going to need you to look after Metropolis while I'm gone, Kara. Can you do that-- Wait a minute. Are you drunk?"

Kara shoots the sun an angry glare for exposing her. "Nooo," she answers in a way that to her ears sounds very convincing, but to Kal's ears gives him a blood pressure spike.

"You don't cope very well with stress, do you?" she asks.

And that's how the great and mighty Girl of Steel ends up on sunlight-detention.

Within just a minute, her head clears up and memories of the night begin blurring and fading. Within five minutes, the awful heavy feeling of sobriety comes back to her. And within ten minutes, she's keeled over the office toilet puking her guts out while Kal holds her hair back. She doesn't remember when he appeared next to her, in his whole Superman get-up. She doesn't even remember how she got there in the first place. Her body probably knew what was about to happen before she did and flew her to the nearest bathroom, as usually happens.

"Feeling better?" Kal asks, stroking her hair a bit.

"Peachy," she answers, her voice hoarse. "Just sober enough to keep a city safe."

"You won't be alone, you know," he says. "There's Lois and the Justice Gang if you need them. Don't worry, Metropolis will be fine."

"Are you telling me that, or yourself?"

He shrugs, his face full of worry. "Both?"

It's valid, Kara thinks. She wouldn't be her first choice for protecting a city of innocent people either. But the people needs a Super, especially when those villains know that Superman's gone and decide to set their wicked plans forth or something. They need the symbol of hope. And, unfortunately for Metropolis, his drunk knock-off female version is the only option. That, or Kal's sons, but they're still a little too tiny and too explosive. It runs in the family.

"All right," Kara sighs as she runs her hands over her face and down her hair. "I'll keep my shit together, at least til you're back."

"It's a start," Kal says with a small smile.

It'll end soon enough, Kara thinks. Her duty-time hasn't even started yet and she's already looking forward to her cousin's return. So many people. So many human beings, all mushy and feeble and defenseless. And so many evils that endanger them.

Bleh. She sounds like Kal when Jon was born, and he cried longer than Lois or the baby did collectively. Well, Kara didn't have a part in birthing Metropolis, yet it's now under her protection anyway. And she has to do her best to be Super, and that's that.

Right after the hangover leaves her system.

⟡

In the Hall of Justice, Kara is being perceived by Hawkgirl and Mr Terrific, and Mr Terrific's many eye-like gadgets, as if only two pairs of eyes weren't enough. They float around her as she leans on one of the Hall's comfy couches, buzzing and bleeping like alien insects.

"Can you keep your circles away, please?" she asks, swatting at one with the sleeve of her coat.

Hawkgirl sighs, and Terrific's eye twitches. "Circles are flat, for the love of God," he says.

"It's the same."

"It very obviously is not."

"Well, you know what I mean anyway."

"No, matter of fact, I do not. When someone says circle I expect something on a flat surface, not something that's clearly three-dimensional."

"All right, then, Mr. Math Professor. Can you keep your balls to yourself, then?"

Hawkgirl chortles. "This is gonna be so good," she says, shaking her head.

Before Terrific can respond to either of them, Superman appears with a whoosh, carrying Lois bridal-style.

"Took you long enough," Mr Terrific says, deadpan. He throws one of his circles at Kal. Right before hitting his head, it pauses midair and dispenses something on a metal claw. "Communication bracelet," he explains. "Don't lose it."

"Thanks," Kal says as he snaps it on.

"You can thank me when you get back alive with Guy in tow, preferably also alive."

"Not a necessity, though," Hawkgirl adds.

"I'll get him back alive and well," Kal says.

"Bummer."

Superman turns to Lois, still in his arms but with her feet on the ground.

"Be careful," she says to him, and Kara can tell she's honestly scared, even though she's not showing it. Kal will be fine, he always is, but it's different for Lois. She doesn't know how it is to be "invincible". For all she knows, Kal could've been lying this whole time.

"I will," he says, cupping her face in his palm. "You stay safe, too."

They kiss, grasped in each other's arms, as the skylight opens for Kal's departure. The two break apart and gaze at the sky like it's doomsday. It's cute, but sad too. Kara doesn't like it. It's as if they're never seeing each other again --she doesn't like the thought of that.

"What about my goodbye kiss?" she jokes to lighten the mood.

It was a joke, obviously. And it worked, because Lois is smiling. But apparently her cousin doesn't know what that means. Because he pulls her into a hug and presses a kiss to her forehead.

She pushes him away almost immediately. Almost, because for a split second, it actually felt comforting. For a split second she mistook Kal for her father. Or maybe she never really stopped, ever since that day she saw him on the TV.

The second passes. Kara breaks from Kal's grasp. "Dude, I was kidding," she says, half-chuckling. She has the misfortune of glancing at Hawkgirl, smirking amusedly, and Kara's face burns up. "Gross," she adds, averting her eyes and willing the blood in her face to pipe down.

"Well, that's the end of that family reunion," Mr Terrific says. "Good luck, Superman."

"I'll need it," he says, squinting up at the sun. Then he looks back at Lois. "I love you."

"Love you too," Terrific answers in her stead, face as deadpan as ever. "Now git."

"I love you too," Lois says with a smile.

Then, with a gust of air, the Man of Steel's gone up in the sky. They watch until he's nothing but a dark speck in the face of the sun, and when that's also gone, the four turn to one another again.

"In case y'all need me, I'll be in the comforts of my own home. Bye-bye," Hawkgirl says, and takes off with a flap of her wings right as the skylight closes.

Mr Terrific just leaves without saying anything.

Lois snaps back to journalist-mode as if waking up from a daze. "Alright, Kara," she says, whirling on her.

"Lois."

"You need training."

Kara looks down at herself. Her costume's pretty shabby --she didn't exactly have the time to clean it before coming here-- and her energy has seen better days. "I mean, I've been skipping exercise lately, but I'm still pretty strong."

"No, not that training." Lois grabs her hand and leads her to a chair, so they're sitting across each other. "Media training. Tomorrow we'll make it known that Superman's on a mission, and that you'll be here in his stead."

Kara gets an idea. "So I have a whole day to drink freely until I'm needed," she muses.

"No, you have a whole day to prepare," Lois corrects her. "We all know that you're strong enough to keep the people safe, but you have to make them feel safe, too."

"Uh-huh. Like, invoke fear in the hearts of my enemies so they leave us alone?"

"Like invoke hope in the hearts of citizens."

"Right, symbol of hope and all that." Kara rubs her eyes, slumping into the couch. Was the sun always this bright? "Okay-- How do I do that?"

Lois takes out a notebook and flips the pages open. "Well, first of all, I'd like to make a few things clear." She focuses her eyes on Kara's, her face set in seriousness. "You have to be a role model. People already look up to you, young girls especially, so you have to act appropriately."

Kara snorts. "Nobody looks up to me, Lois. Except when I'm about to attack them from above, maybe."

Lois pauses for a moment, then gives Kara a knowing smile. "Oh, you don't know." Before Kara can say anything, she's off again, "I don't like being performative, so, lucky for you, you won't be getting bossed around, being told how to say what when."

Thank god because I couldn't do that if I tried, Kara thinks.

"However--" Lois gives her a pointed look. "--you'll have to remember some rules. No drinking --especially not in public as Supergirl-- and try to refrain from cursing."

"Shit, you might as well just kill me now," Kara says with a grimace.

"I know, but I believe in you. Now." Lois pulls out a small device from her pocket and presses a button in. She puts the recorder on the table between them. "For your interview."

Kara sits up. She's been interviewed by Lois and Kal --the journalist Clark Kent, that is-- and even that skinny guy that's always with them. Julian Owen or something. Point is, she knows what to expect.

"Tell me about yourself," Lois says.

"Uhm, my name is Kara, I'm Superman's cousin--"

"No, we already know all of that. The people want to know the personal things. Make them familiar with you to establish trust."

"Ew-- I mean, sure." Kara thinks for a minute. She wasn't expecting this, she was expecting questions about her relation to Superman and how she'll keep Metropolis safe. She knows the answer to those. But about herself? "I'm-- My hair is blonde? And I can fly."

"Kara, everyone knows those things already," Lois chuckles, amused at her struggle.

"Well, I'm an open book, then," Kara says as she exasperatedly throws her hands up. "There's nothing about me that people don't already know. I don't even have a secret name. It's just Kara."

"I don't think you're supposed to say that," Lois whispers. "Let's try this again: What do you like to do for fun, Supergirl? What do you do in your free time?"

"Drink across solar systems without a yellow sun."

Lois presses her lips together as she stares at her notebook, probably trying to find a way to make that sentence somehow family friendly. Kara gets a pang of guilt that she's making her job extra hard. Can't even lie right.

"You know what, just--" She sighs and gets up. "Just write whatever, Lois. I trust you with my reputation. Say that I'm a perfect person with zero issues if it puts people at ease. But I can't be that." She shrugs. "So, sorry."

Kara turns around, heading for the door and itching for the nearest drink. She has until tomorrow, might as well make the most of it. Like a bachelorette party before her marriage to sobriety. The yellow sun makes it impossible for her to get withdrawals --at least, she thinks so. She's never really stayed sober long enough to test it. But there's a first time for everything, and Kara still has time until that.

"Clark isn't perfect, you know."

Kara stops short and looks over her shoulder.

"But people still love him, knowing that their Superman is flawed," Lois continues.

"That's because he's lovable either way," Kara retorts, only a little bitterly. "He has that to make up for it. I don't have anything."

"You're loved, Kara."

Kara feels her insides cringe and she kind of feels like screaming in horror. "Did Kal tell you to say that or is his happy-golly-jolly-pinkie-pie-ness rubbing off on you?" she says with a shudder. But Lois's tone wasn't in a Kal-way, it was like she was stating a fact. Which makes it even more ridiculous. Lois is the smartest person Kara knows, but here she's definitely wrong.

Lois sighs in a "I've done my part"-way. "I can tell you something a million times, but you'll only believe it once you see it yourself," she says. Her eyes meet Kara's, still mildly red from saying goodbye to Kal. "Come visit sometimes. The boys like having you with us."

"Call me when you want me there," Kara says, returning her smile and whirling around towards the exit again.

"I don't have your number."

"I don't have a phone. But just, like, yell really loudly and I'll probably hear it if I'm nearby. Or fax me or something. Actually don't-- I don't have a fax machine either."

Lois chuckles. "Bye, Kara."

"Bye-bye, milady. Don't worry too much about Kal. He'll be fine."

"I'm not worried."

"I can literally see the stress in you. But, hey, I'm not one to judge."

"Get yourself a phone," Lois says, changing the subject.

Kara gives her a salute. "Will do, Madam Lane." And promptly shatters the glass door of the Hall of Justice too as she flies out. "Oh, what's up with this city and glass doors!" she groans as she spits out little shards.

⟡

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