Archive of Our Own ^beta

Why is it they’re always there? Following him? He’s happy. And they come in and snatch it away.

The joy and pride he feels as Leorio freaks out, Kurapika’s calculated stare, and Gon’s excitement start to dull. The fun of looking around the room with Gon. Of making fun of Leorio… it all fades.

A cold pressure weighs on his chest. That’s right. His father could pull out a heart without a single drop of blood.

And-

He can’t.

The book he’s about to show off to Gon drops from his fingers.

“You’re a disappointment, Kil.”

The world twists around him, and he swallows back bile, wrapping his arms around his stomach.

“I’m sorry…”

The cracking of a whip makes him jolt; the searing phantom pain against his back makes his hands flinch and go to touch the lower part of his back.

“What’s up with the kid?”

Leorio’s voice is miles away.

“Killua? Are you okay?”

Killua tries to blink to focus his vision, but Gon’s face is a haze, and he steps back, dizziness clawing at him.

He sways, and all but Tonpa move.

Leorio trips and falls right on his face, and Gon reaches him first, catching him, with Kurapika a hairbreadth behind.

He slumps against Gon, his fingers weakly tangling in Gon’s tank.

“Killua! Are you okay?”

Gon carefully lowers them to the ground, his hand warm and strong at his back.

It is everything, the cold air and the crackle of a whip, isn't.

“Killua!”

He can hear Leorio grumble and scramble to his feet.

His head falls against Gon’s chest, and Gon inhales, brushing hair from his forehead.

The touch is nice…

“Move aside! I’m a doctor!”

Killua can feel a larger hand grasp at his wrist as his pulse point, a string of curses following.

“Maybe all those laxatives are finally catching up with him; that’s what the brat gets.”

Tonpa sticks a pinkie up his nose, and Leorio growls.

“You shut up!”

That can’t be… that would mean all those years… would have been for nothing…

All that pain…

Throwing up on the floor…

It makes him involuntarily shiver, and he whines, and Gon holds him closer.

“I found these…”

Kurapika’s voice was calm, but with an edge of worry.

“What’s going on?”

“Pulse is high…”

The words all drone into an echo he can’t hear.

Why do all these people care?

That old man was terrified a moment ago…

He’s being lifted, and his eyes open a crack, and he looks up at Gon, who has a look on his face he can’t quite name. Anger? Worry? Or…?

He presses his nose to Gon’s sternum, his hands weakly coming up to grab Gon’s tank top, a shiver running down his spine.

Gon holds him closer, walking over to the couch and sitting down.

Kurapika walks closer, holding a small tray with what can only be described as preservatives.

“Here.”

Gon takes the tray with one hand, the other still secure around Killua’s shoulders, holding him close.

Tonpa snorts and opens his mouth, but Kurpika’s glare shuts him right up.

Leorio fumbles around in his bag, and Gon places the tray down next to them on the couch, picking up a bland beige-looking bar.

“Here, Killua.”

Killua opens his eyes and takes the bar, nibbling on it.

“Bleh… not very good… better than poison.”

Leorio’s heart clenches, and he stands up, looking at the kid curled up in Gon’s lap.

“You have some too, Gon…”

Killua weakly grabs a bar and holds it up, and Gon bites into it.

“Thanks, Killua!”

His throat feels tight.

Dang it. He’s just an annoying but sweet kid under it all.

He walks over, clearing his throat.

“Alright, let me see the kid, guard dog.”

Killua curls closer to Gon with those words, and Gon’s protective shell seems to grow.

“Your back… You were touching it earlier…”

Killua flinches, and Gon blinks, holding Killua tight as the boy burrows his face in Gon’s chest.

“Leorio…”

Leorio gives an understanding look.

“…’s old… it doesn’t matter…”

Leorio sighs.

“Well, it does to me.”

He reaches forward and grabs the bottom of Killua’s shirt, giving him ample time to pull away.

He peels it away, his stomach slightly clenching at the sight of silvery scars.

Near the waistband of Killua’s shorts are raised welts and pink skin.

Old, his ass.

A couple of weeks… at best. So recent…

He inhales shakily and feels a hand on his shoulder, glancing up to see Kurapika peering at the wounds, his eyes flashing crimson.

He dabs some cream onto his fingertips.

“It’ll be cold.”

Gon rests his other hand on the back of Killua's head, his fingers tangling softly in the white hair.

Leorio carefully smears it across the welts, and Killua flinches.

Gon presses his nose to Killua’s hair, a fierce look of protectiveness in his eyes.

“It’s okay.”

Killua shudders; it’s cold, but it feels sort of nice… like a balm on the pain.

And Gon’s warm… his eyes flutter closed, and he falls into a daze.

“Anymore, kid?”

Huh…? He opens his eyes, blearily sitting back and wiping them with a small fist, gasping, his cheeks going red as he looks at Gon’s shirt.

There’s a dark spot on Gon’s tank top.

His ears go bright red, his cheeks flushed.

He drooled on G-Gon…

Gon blinks and looks down, feeling the shift in the air.

“It’s okay! It’s cute!”

C-C-Cute?

Killua wipes at his mouth and bites on his sleeve, his face a crimson shade.

“D-Don’t say that, stupid!”

He…

A wave of dizziness overwhelms him, and he collapses back to Gon’s chest, and Gon holds him close.

“Killua?”

Kurapika reaches for a water bottle and hands it to Gon.

Gon takes it, his eyes filled with worry.

Killua’s shaking too much.

“G-Gon… Is there something wrong with me…? I feel like they’re there no matter what… I’m scared…”

Gon’s brows furrow, and Leorio walks over and places a hand near Killua’s shoulder blade.

So thin, and so small…

Tonpa flicks a booger aside.

“The kids lost it.”

All three of them turn and glare at him.

Gon runs his fingers through Killua’s hair.

“It’s okay, Killua. I don’t know who you mean, but I’ll protect you! I’ll beat the snot out of them.”

Killua looks up with big blue eyes, and Gon gives a toothy grin.

“G-Gon…”

Even if he knows it’s not possible.

He feels safe…

He rests his cheek on Gon’s chest and nuzzles closer.

“I promise, Killua, no matter what, I won’t let you get hurt.”

━━━━⊱˗ˏˋ ★ˎˊ˗ ⊰━━━━

“You look like you swallowed a bunch of sour grapes, Gon.”

Gon’s brows furrow, and he glances back as Leorio and Kurapika walk up to him.

“Leorio… Kurapika…”

He clenches his fist, looking at it.

“I promised, Killua. I promised him I’d protect him, but I wasn’t there when he needed me. I’m going to save Killua.”

Leorio slouches down.

“Yeah. How do you think I feel? I was frickin’ useless!”

Kurapika places a hand on Gon’s shoulder.

“You won’t be going alone.”

He nods, and Leorio flashes a grin.

“Really?! Thank you.”

He gets a flicker of determination in his eyes.

“I’m coming, Killua. Just hang on.”