Chapter Text
Chapter One: The Prompt
~March 1st, 2025~
Ezra refreshed the page yet again. He tried not to, but was having too much fun watching the bidding for Fandom Trumps Hate. It was his third year participating, and this year he was excited to watch as two enthusiastic bidders kept trying to outbid each other for his offer of a Sherlock Holmes story. For now it looked like GoldenEyes221b was winning. He’d read a few of their stories before, and was excited to find out what kind of prompt they might offer.
He also checked up on his own bid. He had been a fan of the fanfic writer VaguelyScribblesDownward for some time and really was hoping to have the chance to give them a prompt for a new Discworld story, and even had an idea in mind. Ezra noticed he had just been outbid, so he added another £10 on to his donation offer and refreshed the page to make sure it went through.
It was a little confusing having two different pseudonyms for his fandoms, but Ezra preferred to keep them separated. He wrote under TheWatsonDiaries for all of his Sherlock stories on AO3, and then wrote under LSpaceCurator for his Discworld ones. He’d developed different fan circles for each, so to simplify things he kept the works of both separate. He even had unique Tumblr handles under his main account where he would post memes and art for each fandom. And for this event, he made sure to have two different emails to protect his anonymity and his different fandom identities.
Realistically, he knew he could write under one account and any readers he had would understand or subscribe based on their own preferences, but as a librarian himself, he preferred to keep things as neat and organized as possible.
He tried not to keep checking his phone while at work, but it was hard, especially with the deadline counting down to the end of the bidding.
When he did his next refresh, he exhaled a sigh of relief. He’d won the bidding for VaguelyScribblesDownward’s Discworld story. He excitedly confirmed his own donation, one that VaguelyScribblesDownward had suggested for Fight for the Future Education Fund, a nonprofit whose mission he also supported. He knew he had until the 12th to donate, but he was so excited to have the privilege that he immediately sent his proof of donation to confirm the bid.
He then checked the story he’d offered under his TheWatsonDiaries account, and it seemed that GoldenEyes221b had won the bid for his own Sherlockian one.
He anxiously awaited the email, and was excited to receive the next message from Fandom Trumps Hate:
To: TheWatsonDiaries
From: FandomTrumpsHate
Date: Sat, Mar 1, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Subject: FTH - here’s what happens next
Dear Fanwork Creators,
First of all, thank you so much for lending your time and talents to the FTH auction…
Ezra read through the rest of the email and the note to await further instructions before attempting to contact the highest bidder, and decided that even though he was excited, he could be patient.
That didn’t stop him from refreshing his email several more times, though, to see if the next email had come through yet…
~March 8, 2025~
A few days later, Ezra was excited to receive the next confirmation email with the contact information for VaguelyScribblesDownward encouraging them to connect by April 1st.
And he was mildly surprised to receive a matching email almost instantly afterward, matching him with GoldenEyes221b for his offered fanwork after confirming his donation to Sherlocks Homes for homeless LGBT youth.
He excitedly sat down to email each.
To: GoldenEyes221b
From: TheWatsonDiaries
Date: Sat, Mar 8, 2025 at 9:03 PM
Subject: Re: FTH - here’s what happens next
I’m excited to match with you for Fandom Trumps Hate! I’m happy to connect with you over email or on Discord, I’m very active with several Sherlockian Discords if you happen to have access to that. I also know you have some time before a prompt is due in June, but I’m excited to hear about it when you are ready to share. Please let me know if there is any questions I can answer for you before then.
Sincerely yours,
TheWatsonDiaries
And then he wrote:
To: VaguelyScribblesDownward
From: LSpaceCurator
Date: Sat, Mar 8, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Subject: Re: FTH - here’s what happens next
I hope I’m not too presumptuous in reaching out first, but wanted to let you know how excited I am that the bid was successful and that we were matched! Let me know if email is the best way to communicate or if you prefer another method; I’m also active on some Discworld Discords too. I’m not as active on Dreamwidth as a rule, though I used to use it years ago, so I’d prefer if we stuck to email if that’s the best option.
And I know I have until June to provide a prompt, but I have one ready if you’d like it sooner!
All my best from the World of the Disc,
L-Space Curator
Ezra was also surprised at how fast the email was in return for his Sherlock story:
To: TheWatsonDiaries
From: GoldenEyes221b
Date: Sat, Mar 8, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Subject: Re: Re: FTH - here’s what happens next
Yeah, didn’t do too well with the Sherlockian discords. Got booted off for asking too many questions. Kept riling up the mods. So guess it’s email for me.
I’ve got a prompt ready, if you’d like.
Have you seen that Tumblr post, the one about the Fairy and the Walrus? Here it is if you haven’t: https://www.tumblr.com/formlesschromatic/743233166248214528?source=share
Basically, it’s a joke, that asks the question:
It is the middle of a Sunday afternoon. You aren’t expecting visitors, deliveries or post. Unexpectedly, there is a knock at the door. Which of these would surprise you more to find on the doorstep?
🧚 Fairy
🦭 Walrus
So for the prompt, I’d just like to know Sherlock’s answer to that question. I feel like it could be very enlightening.
-GoldenEyes221b
Ezra sighed. He’d been hoping for something more substantial, especially for a Sherlock fic, and he always prided himself on his research for his fanfiction. This didn’t seem like it gave him much he could use. Was GoldenEyes221b asking for a crackfic? He didn’t usually write those, not well at any rate. His stories tended to be more serious, and he enjoyed trying to match Doyle’s original tone and intent. He also always tried to write stories that could be plausibly canon, and in their original era. He wasn’t sure at all how he could fit in a walrus or a fairy to that universe. If it was one of his Discworld stories, it would be no trouble at all, and if he dug far enough he was sure that Pratchett had probably written something similar about fairies or walruses he could use as a launching point. He’d have to think and do some research to come up with ways he could try to use it as a Holmes story.
He decided not to answer that email right away, and was thrilled to see a response already from VaguelyScribblesDownward that he could answer instead.
To: LSpaceCurator
From: VaguelyScribblesDownward
Date: Sat, Mar 8, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Subject: Re: FTH - here’s what happens next
Discord works for me - I’m still on a few of those boards. Not real active, more of a lurker since I had some bad experiences on other Discord servers. But my handle is the same if you want to find me there. Sometimes chats are easier than email. And yeah, would love to hear the prompt!
-VaguelyScribblesDownward
He lost no time in finding him on Discord and sending a friend request, complete with the weird little robot creature waving hello as an opener.
He was thrilled at how fast he got the little spinning puppy waving hello in response, with VaguelyScribblesDownward’s acceptance of his friend request.
He started typing:
#fandom-trumps-hate-chat fandom trumps hate chat 
LSpaceCurator
Hello VaguelyScribblesDownward! I’m glad Discord works for you.
Here’s my prompt: “The Off-Putting Library.” I work in a Library, you see, and think there’s a misconception that Librarians are experts in customer service, when often our interest is more in protecting the books.
I think it would be funny, and Discworld appropriate, to explore the idea that Librarians don’t always have to be nice and approachable. I find I often identify with the Librarian himself, which is why I chose this name as my handle, but honestly feel free to use any Discworld characters.
Let me know if that prompt works for you!
VaguelyScribblesDownward
I see where you’re getting at.
Sure, yeah, I can make that work.
Always a fan of the Librarian too, haven’t had a chance to write much for him.
Might try to do a backstory for him before he becomes the orangutan, so I don’t have to write “ook” over and over.
And probably will also throw in some Nac Mac Feegles. They’re always fun to write. And the ones I identify most with, myself. Feel like they could help the Librarian in making the Library “off-putting.”
LSpaceCurator
I also must say I’m a big fan of your stories and am so excited for this one.
I wanted to ask, what’s your favorite part of reading or writing Discworld? I notice so many of your stories are comedic but also have a serious streak.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Ooo. Great question.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
I do love Pratchett for that same reason, the way he ties comedy in with a serious plot. He really invented the “crackfic taken seriously” as a genre.
LSpaceCurator
So true! You could make the argument that Douglas Adams did, too, but Pratchett tends to go deeper than Adams with the plot and emotional journey of the characters, I quite agree. Though I am a huge fan of the Hitchhiker’s Guide series as well.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Same here. But what I really love MOST about Pratchett is his political satire. My favorite series in Discworld are the Moist Von Lipwig books. Love how he can dive deep into postage stamps or trains and make such a larger political statement about the way our world works while making you laugh all the way through it.
Also love a lot of the Guards series. My favorite Pratchett quote is from Men at Arms.
LSpaceCurator
Which quote?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
The Sam Vimes ‘Boots’ Theory of Socio-Economic Unfairness. Here, let me find it for you.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
“The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money. Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles. But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that’d still be keeping his feet dry in ten years’ time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.”
LSpaceCurator
Oh, yes. I absolutely see what you mean. And I can see how you carry that through in your writing.
I especially loved your Robin Hood Crossover fanfiction. I think you had the Nac Mac Feegles featured prominently in that one, as well!
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Oh, yeah! That quote was definitely the inspiration for that one. “Vimes and the Not-So-Merry Men.” That one was fun to write.
LSpaceCurator
I particularly enjoyed how you fit in Maurice and his Amazing Rodents into that one, too.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Oh I love those literate rats. Particularly enjoy that Dangerous Beans sage-like character. They crack me up. I fit them into every story I can. Like my own little rat army, that come in at the end of the story and save the day.
LSpaceCurator
Your own Deus ex Rat-ina, as it were?
1
LSpaceCurator
Apologies, my dear, what does that little emoji mean? It’s a little hard to see on my phone.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
It’s a rat giving a thumbs up. Yeah, it is small. Tried to pick a fun one - definitely cracking up at that.
LSpaceCurator
Oh, I see it now! Very amusing.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
So what’s your favorite aspect of Discworld?
LSpaceCurator
I absolutely love the literary references. My favorites are the witch series. I loved how Pratchett loosely followed the plot of Phantom of the Opera for “Maskerade” or Midsummer’s Night’s Dream in “Lords and Ladies,” or even the Cinderella story in “Witches Abroad.”
In a way, it was like Pratchett’s own fanfiction of the original work, when you consider it.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
So true! I haven’t read all of those yet. I’ll have to check that out. Do you like reading?
LSpaceCurator
Oh yes. It’s my favorite pastime. For work I sell second-hand books online from my flat, which for me is a bit dangerous since I’m often loathe to sell the books I collect and keep so many of them. But it’s enough to keep me busy and pay the bills. And for fun I volunteer as a librarian at the British Museum. I help them with sorting and organizing the books and making sure they are returned in good order.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
I can definitely see why you want a story about an off-putting library. Sounds fun. Not to intrude, but does that mean you are local (from London)?
LSpaceCurator
I am indeed! Are you also in London?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Yeah. I run a fan-themed pop-up speakeasy pub in the back of a ramen restaurant.
No signage, minimal advertising. It’s all mostly word of mouth, and we change the themes to something fun and popular every few months. We’re only open a few days a week and you have to know the password to come in.
LSpaceCurator
Seems like you enjoy customers about the same amount that I do.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Ha! Yeah you could say that. Mostly just want the cool customers who really want to be there and respect the place. It’s been working well, and we stay just busy enough to keep it going. We even have regulars who jump in to help with the remodels when it’s a theme they’re passionate about who bring in homemade decorations and fanart. I sub-lease with the restaurant and it makes it more affordable that way.
LSpaceCurator
What kind of themes? I always thought it would be fun to throw a regency era ball, like a Jane Austen novel.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
We have something like that coming up, but for Bridgerton. We tend to do more TV shows and movies than books, brings in bigger crowds. Free shot if you dress up! Anything from Jane Austen would work.
Funny I just wrote a fan fiction where she was a spy in a James Bond crossover.
LSpaceCurator
Oh, I’ll definitely bookmark that one! Oddly enough a lot of what I usually wear would probably fit right in without needing a costume. I’m a longtime fan of waistcoats, pocket watches and bow-ties.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Ha! Haven’t even met you and can absolutely picture that about you. It’s the ramen place in Mayfair. If you go to our Instagram place you can get the password for the night. @HellfireSpeakeasyUK
LSpaceCurator
I’ll keep a look out, that does sound rather fun! Thank you for the information! I’m afraid I need to be off for now to get a few book orders shipped, but it’s been lovely chatting with you.
1
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Sure thing. Cheers
Message #fandom-trumps-hate-chat 
Ezra closed his laptop, flush with how excited he was at the communication with VaguelyScribblesDownward, and thrilled at the prospect of meeting a fellow fan in person. His first instinct had been to instantly go to the Hellfire Speakeasy page and go that evening, but he didn’t want to appear needy or like a stalking fan. Did it count as stalking if he was invited, he wondered? And was it really an invite, or was did he only share out of a polite obligation? He was so undecided that he opted to go for aloof and casually interested instead.
But then he started to worry that he came across too aloof and casually interested. What if he seemed rude? He opened the laptop again to try to give a better send off, but then noticed that VaguelyScribblesDownward gave another one of those small emojis in reaction to his message - it looked like a couple of small stars around the “it’s been lovely chatting with you” note. He took a breath and hoped that meant his message was well-received.
He took a long drink of his tea, and then thought about how he’d like to compose his message to GoldenEyes221b. He reread the part of the email where he said he’d been booted off the Holmes discords for asking too many questions. Ezra had to admit that didn’t give him a very good impression; usually the rules were quite clear on what was allowed and not allowed on any Discord server, and all the mods were volunteers helping to try to keep order amongst the many fan chat threads. He decided to try to keep his messages brief to try to avoid antagonizing the reader who had won his bid, and to do his best to understand the request in advance so there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings later.
To: GoldenEyes221b
From: TheWatsonDiaries
Date: Sat, Mar 8, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: FTH - here’s what happens next
I’m sorry to hear about your experience on Discord. Email will work perfectly well. Please note I do my best to be responsive, but please allow a few days time as I can get quite busy with my work and volunteer activities.
I am still giving some thought to your prompt. It seems like quite the challenge, since I intend to keep this story in their canon universe, and I’m not exactly sure where a walrus or a fairy would come into the picture. I need to ask, do you intend for this to be a crackfic of sorts? I don’t usually write those. I do want to make sure you are happy with your story and want to be clear on your expectations.
Also, do you have any no-gos, rating or OTP preferences that you would like me to be aware? I did set out in my bid my comfort level on what I’m prepared to write, but I would like to make sure I’m taking your preferences into account as well.
Sincerely yours,
TheWatsonDiaries
Almost immediately afterward, he saw another Discord message from VaguelyScribblesDownward:
#fandom-trumps-hate-chat fandom trumps hate chat
VaguelyScribblesDownward
I know you already signed off, feel free to answer at your convenience.
But forgot to ask, do you have any no-gos, ratings, or OTP preferences? Definitely want to give you a story that meets your expectations.
LSpaceCurator
Oh! I haven’t signed off quite yet. I prefer SFW ratings, particularly in Discworld. I think I’m open to pairings if it’s a good story that justifies the union. I prefer canon-plausible. And the usual Big 4 archive warnings are no-gos for me.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Easy enough, almost all my stories fall into that anyway. Thanks and have a good evening!
LSpaceCurator
You too, my good fellow.
1
Message #fandom-trumps-hate-chat
VaguelyScribblesDownward gave him a thumbs up this time, but before he had time to figure out a suitable response, another email came in from GoldenEyes221b:
To: TheWatsonDiaries
From: GoldenEyes221b
Date: Sat, Mar 8, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: FTH - here’s what happens next
No OTP for me, I read pretty much all of it. Johnlock of course, but also like the Moriarty/Sherlock stories too. Really love a slow-burn enemies to lovers story. Ratings pretty open, can’t think of many no-gos. Canon universe is fine. If the prompt isn’t good enough I can figure out something else.
Cheers,
GoldenEyes221b
Ezra closed his laptop in a huff. Really, the nerve. Well, now he was committed to making the silly prompt work anyway, as a personal challenge since GoldenEyes seemed intent on provoking him.
He got to work researching, and found something interesting, in spite of his misgivings.
Well, well, well. He might just have fun with this prompt after all…