Chapter Text
This was really bad.
Logan had stayed after school to ask for some help from his math teacher because he couldn’t afford to fall behind any longer. Everything was fine. How fine? The amount of fine that was sitting on the line between ‘fine’ and ‘everything has gone to hell.’ Everything had gone to hell when it randomly began to start pouring outside. Thunder boomed in the air as Logan stood outside the school building, the small bit of roof covering him. It wasn’t like Logan didn’t see it coming. In fact, it was cloudy all day. He had his suspicions. But unfortunately for Logan, he forgot to check the weather. And he had conveniently lost his umbrella at home.
‘This is just great.’ Logan thought, groaning as he pulled out his phone. His grandparents were usually still working in the shop right now. They could pick him up, but Logan didn’t want to bother them. They were already down his back due to his sudden slack in grades and odd behavior. With the amount of sleep Logan had been losing, it’s been hard to stay on top of things like he used to. Is the extra work load that was Barron being gone help? It does, by a lot.
But that doesn’t stop the fact that Logan has to pretend he isn’t sore all over from all his phantom dimension injuries.
Or pretend he isn’t super close to failing almost all of his classes.
Or pretend he’s not having nightmares almost every night.
Logan has nearly reached his brink. The option to take the random interrogations on the way home was seeming more enticing than coming home soaking wet just to get interrogated in the end. These thoughts weren’t doing Logan any good. But with a familiar voice calling out his name, the thoughts disappeared almost instantly. As if they were never there.
“Logan. What are you doing here?”
Logan turned his head to see Tyler approaching. A black jacket covered his grey shirt that was soaked in sweat and matched his black sweatpants. He probably just came from baseball practice. He held an umbrella in his hand and Logan couldn’t help but feel a bit of envy.
“Hey, Tyler.” Logan greeted, a smile making its way onto the boy's face,“I was just getting some missing work turned in for math. I was gonna head home just now but, as you can see.” Logan gestured to the heavy rainfall.
“You don’t have an umbrella?” Tyler guessed, “you seem like the type to always have one in your bag or something.”
“I did have one in my bag.” Logan laughed nervously, “I…lost it.”
“Oh. That must suck.” Tyler bluntly stated.
“Yep. It pretty much does.” Logan replied with equal bluntness, “I unfortunately have no choice but to brave the bad weather all the way home. My grandparents are busy.”
“Surely they can stop what they’re doing to prevent their grandson from catching a cold.” Tyler’s brows furrowed in suspicion.
“Well, they could, but… it’s not ideal.” Logan mumbled.
“Why not?” Tyler asked.
“It’s a long story.” Logan muttered.
“The ‘can’t let them find out you travel between dimensions every night’ kind of story.” Tyler assumed.
Logan sighed, “You can say that.” Tyler hummed in understanding as the conversation returned to silence.
Staring off into the distance, watching the heavy rainfall make contact with the ground. Throughout the time Logan knew Tyler, his presence always had an overwhelming weight to it. But lately, his presence has become more peaceful. Something Logan got used to. Something Logan began seeking out unconsciously.
Tyler inhaled before he spoke, “You take the same route as I do right?”
“Yeah, why?” Logan asked, turning to face Tyler. He could practically see the wheels turning in his head.
“You could…walk with me if you want.”
The question shouldn’t have made Logan freeze up, but it did.
“I pass your house on the way so then you won’t be completely soaked. Wet? Yeah, totally. This umbrella isn’t as big as it looks. But not…soaking wet. It would be pretty screwed to leave you here.” Tyler rambled on as Logan laughed nervously from the offer. It was certainly better than walking with no umbrella. It’s most definitely better than disrupting his grandparents due to his own sloppy mistake.
“Yeah. Sure.” Logan reluctantly agreed.
Tyler’s brows lifted when he heard Logan say yes. “Really?”
“Well, like you said, it’s better than being completely soaked.” Logan shrugged, “we should probably hurry though. It’s getting late.”
“Yep. Roger that.” Tyler agreed as he opened his umbrella. He was right, it wasn’t as big as it looked. They would have to walk close together in order to stay dry. Was Logan ready for that?
“You coming, glasses?” Tyler asked as he began to walk. It’s not like Logan had a choice.
“Right. I’m coming.”
—————————
The walk was usually through town past all of the shops and restaurants into the neighborhood. It usually took about 10 minutes to walk from Logan’s house to the school. It’s a quick walk.
If it was so quick, why was everything moving so slow at this moment?
The two were silent as they walked through the town, the only noise being the rain pelting off the small black umbrella and the occasional thunder. Tyler made sure to keep Logan on the inside of the sidewalk each time they crossed a street or turn a corner, held the umbrella in between the two so Logan wasn’t too soaked. Subtle things Logan took note of. It always surprises Logan how caring Tyler is despite being around him for so long.
“So,” Logan attempted to spark a conversation, “How was practice?”
Tyler sighed, “Not the best. Can’t stay awake for half of the coaches talks and I keep sliding wrong. I’m gonna end up with a limp at some point.”
“That’s…yeah, that’s not really the best.” Logan winced.
“Yeah, not good for this world or the other one.” Tyler cursed under his breath. Logan’s heart ached at the thought of the phantom dimension. His heart hurt for the hidden weight that Tyler always seemed to carry around. He made it seem so easy, but Logan often noticed a lot of things others didn’t.
“You could always take a break from practice once and a while.” Logan suggested, “take an afternoon, get some sleep. I’m sure your coach would understand.”
Tyler shook his head, immediately turning down the idea. “Not now. Scouts should be coming around soon. If I can just get my slide correct by the time they get here, I should have a couple offers to go with.”
Logan blinked, “Offers?”
“For college, Logan. It’s a college thing.” Tyler bluntly responded.
“Ah, right.” Logan ran a hand through his hair, “I forgot you were destined to ‘hit a ball with a bat for the rest of your life.’”
“Yup. That’s my life.” Tyler spoke. His voice carried its natural sarcastic tone, but there was something hollow heard. An empty sound to his answer that didn’t sound right coming from Tyler Hernandez. When Logan turned to look at him, there was an absent look on his face. His amber brown eyes, that usually carried a flame that always burned ever so bright with determination, fixated on a goal he would reach no matter what, were empty. Staring off into a void.
“Do you find…something wrong with your 50/50 fate?” Logan hesitantly asked.
“No.” Tyler answered. Too short. Too quick.
“Are you sure? You don’t sound very sure.”
“I- You’re being very intrusive, you know that? I swear a couple months ago I wouldn’t have even thought I’d be getting interrogated by you of all people-”
“Quit trying to change the subject.” Logan wasted no time calling out Tyler’s crap. How ironic that he was using Tyler’s teachings against him.
“I’m not changing the subject.”
“You are.”
“I’m not.”
“You. Are.”
“What the hell do you want me to do Logan?” Tyler grumbled, “something’s bothering me. So what? Something’s bothering everyone all the time. It’s not important.”
Logan turned his head to meet Tyler’s eye. “It’s more important than you think. Baseball is exhausting you.
“It’s not.”
“It takes up almost your entire schedule.”
“Baseball isn’t…it’s not what’s wrong. It is, kind of, but- I don’t know!”
Tyler hesitated.
“If that’s not what’s wrong-”
Tyler abruptly came to a stop. It took Logan a few seconds to realize he did, which left him getting caught in the rain. He would have cared more about that, but when he turned around and saw the look on Tyler’s face, he froze completely.
Tyler’s eyes were wide with something between rage and fatigue. His hands were curled into such tight fists, the one squeezing the umbrella was turning white. Logan could see the rapid rise and fall of his chest through the rain blocking the majority of his vision. People that know of Tyler Hernandez would say this is a normal occurrence for the boy. Angry expressions, snarky comments, they all came in the package for him.
But this…this look on him…Logan knew it was never one that ever made it to the surface.
Tyler took in a sharp inhale, and Logan was fully prepared for him to scream, but instead, what came out next startled him. Tyler laughed. He put his free hand over his eyes and laughed. It was an unhinged sound. A broken one.
“You know…” Tyler said in between laughter, “I meant it when I said you’ve changed. Never in my life would I have thought it would be you of all people to push me over the edge like this.” Tyler slowly approached Logan as he let everything out at once. Logan’s mind told him to back away, due to past experiences. But Logan knew this situation was far more different. He was helping a friend. So he stood his ground.
“Everything is wrong, Logan. Everything. I can barely be home to help around the house anymore. I am this close to failing all of my classes. You know what happens then? I can be kicked off of the team! Isn’t that something?! Tyler Hernandez, top varsity baseball player gets kicked off because he can’t keep his shit together. You know what happens then!? All hope of college is gone. Everything is falling apart like goddamn dominoes and I don’t know how to stop it. So yes, Logan. Everything is wrong. Not something. Everything.”
The two of them stood in silence after that. The only thing heard beyond the heavy rain pour and thunder being Tyler’s heavy breathing. The rain on Logan’s glasses was a lot, but not enough for him to not see Tyler's eyes begin to shake with regret.
“Shit…” Tyler whispered, his head hanging low after he realized what he’d done. “Look, Logan, I…I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s okay.” Logan said immediately. He couldn’t stand to hear his voice so broken.
“No it’s…” Tyler’s voice trembled, “I shouldn’t have dumped all that on you.”
“Well, that was the point of me pushing you, so I got what I deserved didn’t I?” Logan tilted his head to the side to meet Tyler’s eyes, but he refused to look the boy in the eye whatsoever. Shame was eating him alive. Or was it exhaustion? It was probably both. A sense of shame slowly grew in Logan as he realized just how stupid he was. He hardly ever wants to talk about his problems, fearing the outcome. But he has the nerve to ask his friend, who probably has the same fear festering in him, to do what he can’t?
Logan could tell that Tyler needed to let it out at some point. But it didn’t change how damn hypocritical Logan is. It didn’t change how hypocritical his next choice of words would be. But if it meant easing the pain inside of Tyler’s chest, just for a few minutes, a hypocrite is just what he’s gonna have to be.
“Hey,” Logan whispered softly, taking a risky move, he lifted his hand and placed it onto Tyler’s hand that was occupied holding the umbrella. The sudden touch made the boy flinch, but it got his attention nonetheless.
“These things that are bothering you, you don’t have to hide them. Things are changing. It feels like the world is spinning and…you can’t keep up. Like you’re falling behind, right? Luckily for you though, you’re not the only one moving too slow to keep up. You’ve got the others to fall back on when things get tough. You’ve got me too.”
Slowly, but surely, Tyler lifted his head to meet Logan’s gaze. His face was close enough that Logan could see the tears forming in his eyes. His lips began to tremor as his breathing became more unbalanced by the second. Logan knew what was to come next, and pulled Tyler into a hug before the boy could break down into uncontrollable sobs. Logan rubbed soothing circles around Tyler’s back as he melted in his arms.
“I can’t do it anymore.” Tyler cried, “I don’t want to do it anymore.”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” Logan whispered.
“No, you don’t get it. Baseball, it’s…it’s my only chance to save everything. It’s the only thing I’m good at. But I just…I can’t go on any longer. I’m so tired, Logan.” Tyler choked on his words, his confession, as if it was a sin. Logan had to admit, it was a bit surprising. With how much dedication he puts into his athletic career, it seemed like his dream. But having to force yourself through strenuous workouts, only having one way out of it all. It sounded like someone else Logan knew.
Himself.
With the life Logan used to live, before everything, exhaustion was an old friend of Logan’s. There was no time to dwell on the things you’ve seen, the things you were never supposed to hear. It’s enough to drive you crazy. The only difference is Logan ran. He ran away from it all. Tyler seems to think he has no choice but to face everything head on, that he has to take it all without falling into a hole you can’t dig yourself out of.
Logan used to think like that too. That thought process was shoved so deep into his brain that it chased him for years. It was Tyler that erased that thought out of Logan’s mind. Had Logan stayed where he was, things would be the same. He ran and found a place to land on. People that didn’t judge him for being weak, but instead helped him become better. But for that to have happened, they had to witness first hand the pain he was carrying.
Perhaps…that’s what Tyler needs.
Logan strengthened his grip around Tyler’s waist to anchor the boy. “This must have been eating you alive, hasn’t it.” He gently whispered in Tyler’s ear. He wasn’t going to ask questions, he was simply gonna be there. That’s all Tyler needed to see and realize. He was there.
“I’m sorry.” Tyler choked, “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“Don’t apologize. Just breathe. You’re allowed to break down. You’re supposed to from time to time, really.”Logan assured him. Tyler didn’t answer, only sniffles and hiccups were heard. Logan’s next words were chosen very carefully.
“You don’t have to hide it though.”
There was no answer. At least not a verbal one. But as Logan began to demonstrate deep breathing techniques for Tyler to copy, he noticed after Tyler froze in place, he hesitantly loosened his grip on Logan’s waist to decrease it from a grip to a hold. His deep breaths, to calm himself down, caressed Logan’s chest. His head, ever so slowly, tucked itself further into Logan’s neck. It was only a matter of time before the two boys' breathing was in perfect sync. Despite the cold weather, there was a sense of warmth festering inside of Logan’s chest from having the boy with the toughest exterior soften in his arms.
If the world was moving slow before, it might as well have stopped right there and then.
If it wasn’t for the ginormous thunder clap, startling the two out of whatever different world they entered, they would have stood there longer.
“Shit.” Tyler muttered, “I was walking you home wasn’t I?”
“Walking- yeah, that’s what we were doing.” Logan tried to laugh, but his voice was higher than usual, putting his flustered nature on perfect display. Tyler seemed to be an equal blushing mess, so the embarrassment wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. With that, they continued their walk. Thankfully they were only one block away from Logan’s house, maybe a bit closer since his house was in sight. Far, but close enough.
The rest of the walk was at a steady pace. Sure they were speedwalking, but that was because of the rain getting worse. Not because the burning heat of the moment was still felt on Logan’s face.
Eventually the two made it in front of Logan’s lawn. “This is the part where I dramatically run through the rain into my house I guess.” Logan sighed.
“Yeah, pretty much.” Tyler mumbled, “I’d walk you to the door, but I think your grandparents want to kill me.”
“They’re..like that with everyone.” Logan rubbed his sleeve at the thought of his grandparents evil eyeing Tyler from the door. For all he knows, one of them might be watching. Logan turned away from Tyler and began to prep himself to get absolutely soaked. He wanted to say something, anything. But what does one say after such a moment?
What does one say after such a realization?
Logan chose the easiest route to go down for the time being. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Tyler. Or, later tonight, perhaps.”
“Yeah. Later tonight.” Tyler spoke quickly, giving a stiff nod. Logan had begun taking the first step away from the umbrella before Tyler spoke again.
“Logan?” Tyler blurted out.
“Yes?” Logan whipped his head around immediately to meet Tyler’s face once again. There was a flash of determination in the boy’s eyes. But only for a second. The moment Logan turned around completely, any trace of whatever gave Tyler the courage to call his name was disintegrated. The two stood there for a moment, Tyler’s eyes guided from Logan, off into the ground, his brows furrowed as if he was trying to find what to say. His mouth opened then closed with a frustrated sigh. Logan tilted his head in confusion, “Is something wrong?”
“No, no it’s just… Thanks. I guess. For what you did.”
It took a moment for Logan to comprehend what Tyler just said, but when he did, a smile gently stretched across his face. “Of course, always. I mean, if there’s a chance we end up being stuck with a big lump of idiots for the rest of our life, we might as well get to know them, right?”
Tyler let out a small chuckle at the reminder of his own words. “You calling me an idiot?”
Logan playfully winced, “Well when you put it like that,”
Tyler let out a real laugh then. A sound that was ever so warm, and a smile that was ever so contagious. Logan caught himself laughing along with him. In the middle of a thunderstorm.
“Whatever dude.” Tyler rolled his eyes in between giggles, “Go home.”
“Bye, Tyler.” Logan smiled before commencing his jog to his doorstep. Before he opened the door, he turned around to wave at Tyler one more time. He was still standing there, waiting for Logan to go inside. There was still a smile stretched across his face as he waved in return. With that, Logan opened the door and entered the house. Wet, but not soaked. Like Tyler said.
Logan lingered there for a moment. The warmth of Tyler pressed against him, his arm wrapped around his back, it was like it was still there. Looking back at the scene, Logan could feel his heart begin to race.
“Sh*t.” Logan cursed under his breath. He was screwed.