Archive of Our Own ^beta

After the war, everyone had thought that they would settle down, go back to their family, find a place and make it their own home, even though they had to go back to the Garrison or back into space to continue the work to make the Universe a better place and spread peace to where it hadn’t reached yet. But overall? They expected that at the end of the day they could go to bed without having to worry about fighting for their lives.

But for Lance? Definitely not for Lance.

Lance was currently fighting for his life. Specifically trying to keep his moans down while Keith was making his way down his neck, kissing and nipping as if their teammates weren't on the other side of the door. 

How they ended up in that situation is not so confusing, actually. In one of those peace missions they were requested to intervene, the BOM and the Garrison ended up helping each other, and put to work two of their best men, who happened to be Keith and Lance. And the proximity, the past feelings that never went away and the fact their superiors didn’t bother to ask for two bedrooms, much less for two beds, made them end up kissing. And the kissing then turned into something more, hotter and more fierce.

They didn’t really talk about it later. They woke up cuddling each other, Keith’s mullet-turned-long hair tickling Lance’s nose, and Lance’s leg curling around Keith’s hip. Keith had turned around, kissed Lance lightly on the lips, just to complain about his morning breath, and never talk again about what they did that night.

And it was special. Not only because they both felt as if something they could only dream about before turned into something real, something tangible, but it was the first time they had something so intimate and vulnerable with someone else.

They kept seeing each other. Sometimes one messaged the other, asking if they were on Earth or up in space, and if they could go see them. Other times would  just be a coincidence, arriving at the same time at the Garrison station or invited to the same gala. And they weren’t just interested in the sex. When Keith told him once that he wasn’t in the mood, that he hurt himself during the last mission and he still was feeling a bit in pain, Lance just kissed him on the forehead -taking Keith’s breath away-, and prepared his apartment so they could just have dinner together and snuggle together in the sofa while watching some dumb show.

So, yeah. They had something going on. And whatever it was had Lance on cloud nine all the time. Even if Keith was being a menace at the moment.

‘Dude, that’s enough, you’re getting us caught’ Lance barely spelled out in a whisper, which got progressively louder and louder ‘And I don’t want you to think I’m ashamed or something, really, it’s just that I think that before making it public to our friends, we should, well, you know, get clear what the thing we’ve got going on is-’

Keith interrupted him by slapping his hand against his mouth, ‘If you don’t want to get caught, shut up. Your rambling was louder than any of the noises you were making before…, did you just lick my hand?’

‘You wouldn’t let me talk!’

‘Yeah, because you’re talking nonsense. I thought you didn't want to talk about it?’ Keith asks confused, tilting his head just a bit ‘I assumed that since you never, well, you never brought up the topic?’ He cringes while saying, as if finally talking about it physically pains him.

‘Keith! What! I was thinking the same! I thought you were okay with just… hooking up? Is that what we're doing?’

‘Yeah, no, definitely not just hooking up’

‘Okay, great, the clarification is well received’ Lance smiles at him, cockily ‘So… do we continue where we were or..?’

‘Gosh, no, you ruined the mood’ Keith jokes, but he still separates himself from Lance ‘By the way, you should find a way to cover up your neck… It’s, kinda, uh…, yeah, cover yourself’ Keith finishes lamely, gesturing the totality of Lance’s neck, which is entirely red-turning-purple, just before turning around and leaving a blushing mess Lance, hooking the collar of his jacket up.

Responsibilities called both of them, which happened to send each of them to different corners of space, meaning they would go days, weeks, or even months apart from each other, without knowing when they could see the other again. It wasn’t the first time they were separated from each other, without an established returning date, but it was the first time it happened while something like this was happening between them. 

It didn’t help either that Keith wasn’t responding to any of the messages Lance was sending him.

Okay, it was totally a Keith thing to do. He’s totally used to him acting as if he went M.I.A, but there was a pit of anxiousness in his stomach that wouldn’t let him get Keith off his mind. Can’t stop thinking about if something went wrong, or if he has forgotten Lance in the week they have been away, or if he’s overwhelmed by Lance messaging him asking about his day, sending pictures of the souvenirs he got him (various cool space rocks, a traditional blade of one of the planets he traveled to and a bottle of space liquor for their next movie night).

Just as Lance finally got to be in his apartment back on Earth, not that long after -the mission just took less than a couple of weeks-, he would get sprawled over his bed, feeling down after still not hearing anything about Keith… In the last few days he had scrolled through their messages about a hundred times, asked Shiro casually if he had heard from Keith recently, tried to contact the BOM… But, nothing new.

He knew Keith wasn’t going to ghost him like that, as if he could! So he just let out a shaky sigh, and covered his eyes with his hands, fighting for not letting his tears roll down his cheeks.

It wasn’t that he was mad at Keith for not answering. He was worried. The silence, the uncertainty, the not knowing if he was fine, if something had happened to him was killing him. Even though he understands Keith is probably the best fighter he ever knew, anything could happen out there.

He finally fell asleep, with dried tears on his cheeks, hugging his pillow close to his chest, reminding him of something else. When he opened his eyes again, the room was still dark, the moon high in the sky. His communicator was glowing in his nightstand. 

Frowning, he squinted to clear the blurriness of whatever the hell had woken him up in his space made up phone. Huh. A new message. Of Keith.

Keith: I’m sorry. Miss you

Keith: I didn’t mean to ignore you.

Keith: Everything’s ok. Coming home.

Lance finally could feel that he was able to breathe. He wanted to be angry, to ask Keith why he hadn’t talked to him, or tried to send a signal to tell him he was fine. But he couldn’t. Instead, he typed, with trembling hands and his heart beating so fast:

Lance: don’t you dare do this to me again

Lance: i miss you too

Lance was fast asleep, after a long night of raw feelings invading his mind, finally peacefully after knowing Keith was okay and coming back to him. His chest rose and fell down softly, not a single thing disturbing him.

The door to his Garrison apartment made the softest click, letting a disheveled Keith enter the house without an issue. Making sure Lance was at home, and still asleep, he’d left his bag on the sofa, and hurried to the bathroom. And he took a long look at himself in the bathroom’s mirror. Every lock of his hair was pointing in a different direction, the bags under his eyes were a dark purple and noticeable…, not to mention the dirt all over him, the mud under his fingernails, the smell of sweat… He should have stopped in the Garrison to clean himself, but he couldn’t bother himself with that, he had to go straight to see Lance. To make sure he was fine, that nothing had changed in the barely two weeks he had been outside of his reach.

It was the first time he felt like this. This anxiousness to be next to someone, to know how they are doing, if they miss him the same way he does. He knew this had a name, that he was obsessed with Lance, but, more importantly, he knew Lance was equally obsessed with him. That they worked as a team, as friends and as whatever the hell they were right now. Made for each other.

Shaking his head, he decided it was no time to feel sentimental. He was on a mission: to look as presentable as he could. He took a long, hot shower, letting the dirt go down the drain, making him feel fresh and clean. He tried to comb out his hair, but the tangles made it impossible. He would have to ask Lance for his help later, ask to braid it so it doesn’t get as tangled as it is now. Stealing some boxers and a hoodie from Lance’s pile of clean clothes, he dressed himself up, throwing the old, ratty BOM uniform into the washing machine.

Now, he moved through the kitchen, trying not to make a single noise, afraid of waking Lance up before everything was ready, pulling out Lance’s favourite fruits, eggs, toasts… Maybe it was too much for breakfast? But whatever, he deserved everything and more. He worked fast, trying not to burn Lance’s kitchen down. 

Every few minutes, he would take a look at Lance’s room, where he was still curled in his bed, letting out the softest snores. 

When everything was ready, he went to the bedroom and crouched next to Lance’s bed, admiring him and the way his face seemed so tranquil, so at peace, and trailed his hand through his short curls, and kissed his forehead. ‘Lance, wake up,’ he murmured, ‘I made you breakfast’

Lance stirred, blinking against the light filtering through the window, trying to focus on the person he had in front of him. Everything felt hazy, he felt tired but then he realised. Keith was here. Keith had come back to him. He felt so relieved that it hurt his chest, and before he could even control himself, he felt hot tears running down his face. 

‘Hey, hey, Lance, what’s wrong?’ he asked, bringing both of his hands to Lance’s cheeks, drying his tears with the sleeves of the hoodie.

‘Keith…,’ Lance choked on his words, ‘I was so worried! I thought something happened to you. I… I can’t do this anymore, Keith…’

Keith felt his heart ache. Without a word, he wrapped his arms around Lance, holding him like he could protect him from anything that tried to hurt him. Lance melted into him, letting himself sob into his chest. ‘I’m here, you know? I’m safe and I’m here with you, nothing to worry about anymore, okay?’ Keith hugged him tighter and pressed a kiss against his temple.

Lance sniffled, his tears coming to an end and lifted his head to look straight into his eyes, ‘I missed you, and I know it was just a couple of weeks, but…’

‘I missed you too, of course I did. But I’m afraid this is going to happen more than once, I… I can’t stop doing missions, Lance. And I know this is going to sound selfish but… come with me. I don’t know someone who I would rather work with, especially knowing we make such a damn good team.’ He says sheepishly, a hand coming towards Lance’s cheeks to clean the path of the already dried tears.

The words hit Lance hard, his hands coming to grip Keith’s hoodie, shaking lightly, ‘I missed you too…, And of course I’d go with you, who else would make sure you’re not doing something stupid?’ He ended with a weak laugh, a small smile finally appearing in his lips. 

And Keith kissed him hard, once, twice, enough times that they lost track of time.

Once Lance felt more rested and their kisses have grown slower, more tender, as if they were memorising each other and how their lips felt against each other again, Keith pulled back, just the enough distance he could look straight into Lance’s deep blue eyes, which was what made Lance blush even more than before, more than when Keith was kissing him deeply.

‘So, uh, you said you made breakfast?’ He said, breaking eye contact, his hands coming to the string of Keith’s hoodie, playing with it nervously. 

'Yeah, you hungry?’ Keith asked, finally standing up and offering his hand to Lance, who immediately clasped their hands together, entwining them together and almost jumping out of the bed and pulling Keith out of the room. He couldn’t pretend any longer that his belly wouldn’t stop making those annoying noises, grumbling about the lack of food. 

The whole apartment smelled nice. And the food looked delicious. Maybe Keith knew something about cooking, after all that time of surviving on his own, he had to eat something at least edible. 

Lance stared at everything. ‘You sure you made all of this on your own? No help from anybody? You didn’t call Hunk to help you?’

‘I mean…, yeah? I did it myself?’ Keith hesitated.

‘It looks…’ Lance tried not to let a full smile invade his face. ‘It looks really nice.’

He sat down before he could do anything dumb, like hugging Keith so hard until he couldn’t breathe or kiss him senseless against the counter. Keith stayed standing just for a moment, his eyes never leaving Lance for a moment, making sure Lance was eating, before sliding more food into his plate. 

‘Dude, I’m capable of feeding myself’ Lance teased him, rolling his eyes playfully.

‘Don’t call me dude when your tongue was in my mouth barely ten minutes ago.’

Lance choked on his food, coughing to try to catch a breath again. Keith didn’t even apologize. Didn’t even smile, for god’s sake. He really was trying to kill Lance, wasn’t he? 

He finally sat down next to Lance, his broad shoulders pressing into Lance’s, warmly and solid, reminding him of how this really was real. 

He ate in silence, sneaking glances at Keith, at his still damp hair from the shower, his hoodie sleeves that almost covered the entirety of his hands, calloused and with scars covering his knuckles and the shadows under his eyes. 

When he reached to refill his coffee, he caught Keith’s stare.

‘What?’ Lance asked softly, a half-smile tugging at his lips. ‘See something you like?’

‘Actually, yes. You’re beautiful, Lance.’

Lance froze for a moment, having to let the fork down, accidentally clattering a bit against the plate. ‘Uhm, you… you aren’t so bad yourself, you know?’

Keith’s eyes softened ‘Did I make you nervous?’

Lance’s breath got caught in his throat. He could even feel a shiver going down his back.

‘Did I?’ Keith repeated, a touch of desperation in his voice. He was again looking at Lance with that intensity and determination he always has before throwing himself into a fight. But, this time, there was no aggressiveness, not fear either. But desire.

Lance gulped, trying to make the food that was already in his mouth go through the knot that was closing his stomach, avoiding Keith’s stare, feeling overwhelmed. He really should get a grip, god. He should be accustomed to Keith filtering with him. ‘How can you be…? So chill? Of course you make me nervous.’ 

Keith kept piercing him with his violet-gray eyes, shifting his chair so he could be closer to Lance, his knees knocking together, a touch that made sparks go all the way up in his body. Then Keith reached out to his neck, curling a warm hand around the back of it, fingers brushing the short strands there. 

‘If you don’t want me to… Just tell me. I know it has been a long day for you…’ And Keith pulled him in to kiss him again, grounding and reverent. As if he was spilling all his feelings in. As if something had changed between them.

When they broke apart, Keith had to hide his smiling face in Lance’s shoulder ‘I’m not leaving you alone, again’ 

Lance laughed breathlessly, his hand coming to rest on the crown of Keih’s head, brushing away his hair, ‘You’re kinda stuck with me now, mullet’ 

Finally, Keith raised his head and his hands slid from Lance's nape to his chest then to his hips, pulling him towards himself, until Lance got the clue and straddled Keith’s thighs. Their lips joined in the middle again, messier than before, devouring each other with such a passion that made them feel that they will drown if they're not attached together.

Forgetting the breakfast behind, Keith picks Lance up, with Lance wrapped up around him as a koala, legs sneaking around his waist and kisses breaking due to big smiles, full of happiness. 

Lance could feel how the weight from his shoulders, the worry, had finally fallen from his shoulders, as Keith guided them to his room.

The days passed by, with Keith and Lance attached to the hip, trying to make up the lost time between them, spending the hours tangled up together between the sheets, gasps muffled up by wet kisses.

Lance would wake up Keith brushing his hair back, exposing his forehead and tracing his features with his hand, admiring his soft face, and how, for once, he seems so relaxed, so peaceful. Nothing is bothering him, he even told Kolivan to not call him for a few weeks, alleging he needed to rest and try to recover from his injuries.

However, Lance wasn’t acting as responsible as Keith. No one knew how mad he was when Keith was away, and definitely, no one knew now that Keith was in his house and in his bed.

His friends were trying to contact him, multiple messages asking him to respond, calling him to check on him. To at least know that he is still alive.

And that’s why, instead of the relaxed wake-up they were both already used to, this time they got woken up by a furious knocking on the main door. 

And that usually meant that they were in trouble. Especially since the knocking got louder, more aggressive too.

Keith groaned, snuggling closer to Lance's chest, trying to hide himself, “Why don't you go see who is? I can't sleep with the banging…” 

“Oh, quiznack” Lance cursed, suddenly getting out of the bed, scrambling to look for his shoes and a shirt, “I have a feeling of who might be…”

“Lance McClain! Open this door right now, I know you're home!” The very familiar voice of Pidge shrieking pierced through their ears. They really were in trouble.

Hunk's voice, although more calmed, resonated in the apartment, “Come on, Lance! We are worried about you”

Lance whined, making Keith sit up slowly in the bed, the sheets sliding down his torso, revealing his chest, which was marked with a few scratches and bruises, “Hey. They're just our friends, why are you so scared?”

“Dude, you don’t understand. I might have forgotten to reply to them in like… a few weeks? If not more?” His shirt was inside out, and he was wearing mismatched shoes.

“Just open the door, Lance. I think that if you don't open the door in the next minute, Pidge will break it downr”

Lance whined again, protesting about Keith being bossy and ordering him around in his own house, bracing himself to open the door and face his friends who were accidentally ghosted by him.

And he finally unlocked the door, making Pidge and Hunk practically fly into the apartment.

“Oh, look who had the decency to open the door! Do you even know how many times we tried to contact you?” Pidge asks accusative, glasses sliding through her nose, slightly crooked. Oh god, she was mad mad.

“Yeah, man, we thought something happened to you. Like, falling on the shower and dying” Adds Hunk, with a kinder tone, but still discontented.

“I was busy, guys! I didn't mean to disappear on you!” Lance defends himself, weakly.

When Pidge opened her mouth to refute Lance's excuse, her eyes fell onto the figure past Lance's shoulder.

Exactly to where Keith was standing, in all his glory, with his exposed chest, his fluffy messy hair. At least he got some dignity and bothered to put on some pants.

Her eyes widened, and her mouth was still open, her jaw dropped, “You've got to be kidding me”

Hunk blinked, feeling as confused as Pidge.

Keith waved at them awkwardly, “Good morning, uh… Yeah”

The apartment suddenly got quiet, a thick and heavy silence.

Lance felt how his ears got red, wanting to die right there, “Okay, you guys don't understand, clearly, it's all a big misunderstanding-”

“Lance,” Keith cut him, not even with a harsh tone. There was some humour in his voice, as if he was trying not to laugh. He sneaked his arm around Lance's waist, bringing him closer to him, “There’s no way you can talk your way out of this.”

Lance looked at him with the most betrayed look on his face, “Excuse me?”

“I KNEW IT! I knew it was all a lie! You liar! ‘Oh, no, Pidge, I'm so over him, I swear’, LIAR!” Pidge screeched, an accusative finger poking at Lance’s chest “And you! Don't act so smug, you could have told us you were on Earth”

“I had something more important to deal with,” Keith smirked, squeezing Lance's side, who was now blushing deeply again, so embarrassed by his friends.

“I'm so proud that you two have finally resolved this weird thing you got going on” Hunk teared up, coming near the three of them to engulf them in a big hug, with Pidge groaning, Lance giggling like a maniac and Keith with a soft smile, feeling as complete as he has ever felt.

Keith shuffled his feet, picked at the already red and damaged skin around his fingernails, and was biting the inside of his cheek. Anyone would say he was just waiting for his brother to appear so they could talk.

Shiro's office at the Garrison was way too clean, too bright, too quiet. And it would be kind of an amusement for Keith to be bothered by that kind of stuff, to be overwhelmed by a place who's meant to be relaxing and with no distractions.

And of course his fear was irrational, for god’s sake, Shiro was his brother. He dragged his hand through his hair, undoing Lance's work of detangling it in the morning.

The door finally slid open with a soft hiss. 

Shiro entered the room with a cup of coffee from the kitchens in hand and a tablet in the other “You're early,” Shiro commented “Is everything okay? You sounded weird when you called before”

Keith gaped. Opened his mouth and closed it. Once. Twice. “I love Lance”

“Is that what was bothering you?” Shiro asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Fuck, no! I mean, I do love him? I think so? But that's not what I wanted to tell you… I am dating Lance”

“Okay… Is this something… recent?”

“What? Yeah, of course it is” Keith was growing annoyed, not understanding Shiro's reaction. Was this a normal older-brother attitude?

“Don't get mad, buddy. I'm just asking because I thought you already were… you know, dating”

Keith's annoyance turned into something softer, calmer “What do you mean you thought we were already dating? I thought we weren't being… obvious”

“Oh, that was you trying to not be obvious?” Shiro teased him, a smirk appearing in his face, “Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to offend you, it's just… the tension was always there. We all knew you were on Earth and we just kind of assumed you were staying with him.”

Keith spluttered, trying to argue back, but the words wouldn't leave his mouth. The tension that was built in his chest finally started loosening, “You don't think this is… reckless? Or a bad idea?”

“By no means. I think Lance and you were made to be with each other. And I don’t think you guys are meant to be separated’ 

Keith let out a shaky breath ‘I don’t want to mess this whole thing up, Shiro, not this time, not with him’

‘And you won’t’ And Shiro closed the distance between them in a long stride, pulling Keith to his arms, engulfing him in a comforting hug.

Keith felt himself tense a bit, before letting himself melt into his brother ‘Thank you…’

Without any more words, Shiro squeezed him tightly, resting his hand between his shoulder blades and with Keith hiding his face in his shoulder.

The door slid open behind them, Allura appearing in the room.

‘Oh! Am I interrupting something?’ She asked gently, taking in the sight of them.

“No, Allura,” Shiro finally let go of Keith, ruffling his hair on the way “It's just that Keith has some news”

“Does he?” Allura asked teasingly, noticing how Keith looks at Shiro with the most betrayed look on his face.

“I…! Shiro, you can't set me up like that!” Keith protests, a pout on his face “It's just that… Lance and I are dating. Kinda.”

“Kinda?”

“I mean… It's not like we have talked about that but…, he is going on missions with me, from now on. And I'm kinda living in his apartment?” Keith cringes with himself, admitting out loud that he still doesn't have the nerve to ask him officially. 

“I'm happy for you, Keith,” She says as she extends her arms, repeating the gesture Shiro did a few minutes ago, squeezing him in her arms too “I'm glad it's you two. And I really hope for the best for both of you” Her eyes are shining with a kind and tender light, making Keith's fill up with tears.

Hiding himself again, this time in Allura's shiny hair, he felt how the tears were running hot in his cheeks, as Allura comforted his back and Shiro pressed a kiss against his skull. He feels so loved. By Lance, by his brother, by his friends. If someone told Keith he was going to feel like this, after all those years fighting for a place in the universe, he would have laughed at them. He feels delighted that this is his new life.

When the day had finally fallen into this quiet and dark state, and after spending the afternoon at Shiro’s office with tear-stained cheeks, he finally went back home. Lance's home. Their home? Whatever.

He crossed the hall, not seeing any light on, just the distant muffled voice of Lance humming some pop tune he couldn’t recognise at the moment combined with the rhythmic sound of the water running in the shower.

Keith didn’t mean to interrupt. But the promise of a warm shower, a warm body to cling to and the fruity scent of Lance’s hair products were inviting him in. Pushing the door open, he felt the hit of the steam, the bathroom all fogged, with the mirror useless and the shape of Lance’s body behind the shower’s curtains.

‘Do you mind if I join you?’ Keith asked, already taking off his clothes, knowing damn well what answer will Lance give him.

‘Yeah,’ He said immediately, a soft smile on his lips ‘of course you can, baby. I thought you were never gonna ask’

Lance got the curtain out of the way, so Keith could step in, moving aside so the hot spray of water reached him too. The presence of Lance was so comforting, combined with the steam that was around them, Keith felt so at peace. He even noticed his shoulders and back relaxed once again. He didn’t even realise he was tensing all up again. 

‘Did you cry?’ Lance asked, brows furrowing slightly, worried ‘Your eyes are really red'

Keith froze. Just for a heartbeat, he was scared again. Then exhaled ‘Yeah, I did. At Shiro’s. I’m fine, though’

Lance looked at him with an unreadable face, and Keith felt his bones shake inside him, afraid he already messed things up, even when he tried not to. But Lance leaned forward and kissed the side of Keith’s nose, lingering there for a bit.

‘It’s not like I completely believe you, but if you say you’re fine, I’ll have to believe it, don’t I?’ He said with humour, sneaking his hands at Keith’s ribs, pulling him a tad closer to him.

Keith snorted, resting his cheek against Lance’s. ‘Would you let me wash your hair? Or you think I will mess up your hair routine?’

‘Go ahead’ Lance whispered, pressing another kiss against his scalp.

Keith worked slowly on his hair, gently untangling the few tangles he could find, making Lance sigh and tipping his hair back, the sound going straight through Keith’s chest.

He felt it was the moment. That if he doesn’t tell him now, he would never get the chance again.

‘Keith, I love you’

Keith’s hand stilled in his hair. His whole body had been shocked and he couldn’t feel any muscle, much less move.

‘You don’t have to say it back, you know? I mean, I know how this is coming out of nowhere, but it is unfair for you to not know it?’ Lance rushes, already turning back so he can face Keith, searching his face with an open and vulnerable stance. 

Keith shocked his head, a half sob escaping between his lips ‘That’s definitely not it, Lance. It’s just… I was trying to tell you that too.’ His tears were now running freely through his face, mixing with the droplets of the shower. 

‘Really?’ Lance asked, changing his worried expression into relief, happy. 

‘Yeah, of course. I love you, Lance McClain. I feel I might have loved you my whole life, that you are what I needed when I had nothing else.’ 

Lance lifted his hand up to Keith’s cheek, trembling lightly, thumb brushing over wet skin, over his healed scar, the moles under his right eye. ‘You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you to be mine. And now that you’re finally with me, I’m not letting you go.’ He leaned in, pressing a careful kiss against his mouth, tasting the salt of the now forgotten tears.

When they parted, they rested their foreheads together, Keith with closed eyes and Lance admiring the man in front of him, his arm coming around Keith’s shoulders to keep them both grounded. 

‘I’m not going anywhere, Keith’ Lance murmured straight into his ear. “You don't have to be scared anymore.”