Archive of Our Own ^beta

When Steve got kicked out of home it was for such a long list of things, he loses count, can't quite decide which one hurts the most. His parents had told him they had given him too many good things in life, spent their money – their valuable time, just to have their only son end up working at a video store.

At first, when they had cornered him in the kitchen it had been for not going to college, for not working with his father when he'd offered. Then as their anger rose, it had quickly shifted, Steve had embarrassed them, he hadn't become what they had told everyone he would. They were a laughing stock at the country club.

Steve hadn't done anything in his life worth telling anyone about. Worth gloating about.

He had become useless to his parents and now he was simply a drain on them, using the water and power in their home when they weren't there.

So, he's told it's time to make his own way in the world, if he's not going to follow theirs. He'd packed his bags with barely a word, he didn't have anything to argue back, there was nothing he could actually tell them, nothing they would actually believe. 

Something tells him his parents would consider going to an ivy league school more important than saving a town they spend most of the year avoiding anyway.

It isn't worth explaining either he realises, they don't care. And Steve decides as he marches past them and climbs into his car that he's beyond them, better than them. What he's made of himself and his life, the good he's done is in spite of them.

It's only when he's pulling out of the cul-de-sac that he realises he has no idea where to go.

He drives for a while, aimless and dazed before he parks outside a quiet park minutes from his childhood home. The large lights that line the pitch beam down along the kids playing baseball in the dying light.

He lists off places he could go, Robin – who still lives with her parents, probably wouldn't appreciate a boy showing up on their doorstep asking to stay with them and their teenage daughter. He could go to Dustin’s, he knows Mrs Henderson would let him stay without a thought.

But he's always looking out for the kid, being the one that's needed, who provides the safe place, Steve can't explain how going there will feel like he's failed that in some way.

He's going to have to sleep in his car. His eyes start to hurt then, his chest heaving a little. 

Whatever emotions of indifference start to leave him, the realisation that he had never figured out what to do next, that the lonely sanctuary of his parents home wouldn't be his forever. 

Eighteen year olds are usually leaving for college, not being kicked out. 

He pulls out back onto the road then, unable to listen to kids calling to each other as they throw and catch, their parents calling out in encouragement. 

He just keeps driving, not sure where he's going when he indicates and stops at red lights. When it starts to rain he scoffs, the sky matching the streaks along his cheek. 

Before long he's left the main strip of Hawkins, the streets becoming dimmer as he passes through suburbia, all the little lights in windows switching off as he keeps driving later into the night. 

When the rain starts to lessen he's in the woods, on a beaten path as the wheels of his car struggle to turn through dirt that's quickly becoming mud. 

He didn't realise where he had been driving when he finally pulled up to the small cabin in the forest.

It looks abandoned, that no one should live here. With a tarp over the roof and wood slats across the windows, but Steve knows better. It's a home filled, being brought back to life. He turns off the headlights when he sees someone peer through the one window still with glass. 

He gets out of his car just as Hopper opens the door, a gun in his hand. He puts it away when he sees him. 

Then the older man frowns, the edge of his instinct for survival leaving him even as the cuts and bruises on his body heal. Steve has his own to match, the space around his eye a fading green and yellow.

"You okay, kid?" His gruff voice reaches him as he makes his way down the wooden steps of his home. 

“It's not” he stammers “anything – I just” he starts to cry again, embarrassed and overwhelmed by the concern that softens the man's voice. "I don't know where to go." Hopper doesn't bat an eye, just looks at the road he came down before looking back to him and nodding.

"Come on" he pulls Steve under his arm and takes him with him "before it starts to rain again." Eleven is at the door when they make their way up the porch, she only smiles softly and steps to the side to let them by as the sheriff follows with hands on his shoulders.

It's surprisingly warm inside the cabin, given how many points of entry there are for the cold air to get in beneath brick covered tarps and plywood. 

The large fire in the corner is roaring and he's edged closer to it, unsure if the shivers that leave him are because he's half frozen or latent tremors from the panic that filled him the whole drive here.

"I'm sorry" he says to the room when he's guided down onto an old sofa, he can't look up. 

He doesn't want to see faces of pity or the stare of aggravation from the inconvenience of him showing up here unannounced. 

A blanket is put over his shoulders and he does look up then. El is smiling at him with soft eyes, she pats his shoulders before she sits beside him. "Thank you" he tells her as he pulls the blanket closer, returning her smile with red rimmed eyes.

"Tell you what" Hopper says as he leans down in front of him to catch his eye. It's calmer and kinder than the man's ever treated him "you stay on the couch tonight and we'll talk about it tomorrow, alright?" 

He nods, thankful to have a place to sleep that isn't his car "yes, sir" He pauses as the man stands "thanks" he mumbles, he doesn't hear Hopper respond but feels a pressure against his shoulder again as he asks his daughter to get some blankets from the cupboard for him.

He takes them gratefully as they all tell each other good night. There's no noise or fuss, no one seems bothered that he's shown up to their home in the middle of the night, looking like a wreck.

🏠🏠

When he wakes up, light is streaming down from the ceiling and the sounds of birds are almost overwhelming.

He sits up and finds Jim Hopper settled by a little table against the wall, a half filled cereal bowl in his hand. He looks his way, hair still askew and half awake and shakes the box beside him, eyes glancing to the empty seat across from him.

Steve takes the invitation, realising he hasn't eaten since half way through the day before and that the pasta he'd been cooking for dinner was left on the hotplate last night where his parents had found him.

He pulls out the chair gently, noticing El's absence as he glances around the room "she's still asleep" Hopper says warmly, if not a little exasperated. He checks his watch "won't be up for another hour or two I'd say."

"What time is it?" He asks timidly as he pours himself some breakfast, clearing his throat when his voice comes out croaky.

"Seven am" he's glad it's a Saturday and his shift doesn't start until the afternoon. 

"Sorry about showing up out of nowhere." 

Once again Hopper ignores his apology, waving his hand along the table. "Anything go down that I should know about?"

He shakes his head "no" figuring he owes an explanation for his midnight arrival "my parents kicked me out." He takes a mouthful of his milk filled cap'n crunch.

"I went to school with your parents, you know that?" Hopper says. He didn't and so he shakes his head. "They were assholes then, too" he tells him plainly.

Steve's never heard anyone talk about them like that before, almost spitting out his half swallowed cereal. 

Usually he's told how lucky he is to have parents like his own, rich so he can get whatever he wants, pillars to the community whose money finds its way into pockets for compliments and I owe you's – or that at least they aren't around so he can have raging parties.

No one has ever told him the truth, not even he could say it to himself.

"You can stay here as long as you like, Harrington" his eyes snap back to the older man in surprise "God knows I owe you for looking after my kid, and all the other buffoons anyway." He takes in how tired he is then, dark circles under his eyes and face haggard. They had all had a brush with death only weeks before. 

But Hopper had come real close. 

He can see Eleven now as the mall had burned and her frantic eyes had searched for him, Joyce crying and holding her. Both believing him dead before he'd come, almost crawling through broken glass and smoke.

He smiles as his spoon clinks against the bowl, it's small and unsteady but it grows from an actual warmth in his chest. "I'll pay my way and I'll be out of your hair as soon as I can."

The older man's lips pull back as he leans forward "you make sure Wheeler respects my daughter and you can stay forever." 

🏠🏠

Steve starts earning the kindness he's been shown by trying to fix the roof. He probably should have started with a smaller job, one of the windows or the broken lamp that still works, half bent in the corner. 

But in the early hours of the morning, light would seep through the gaps and it took a constant fire burning to keep out the cold. El, always wrapped in a thousand blankets, so he decided he should begin there. He learns by error, glad that no one is home when he almost collapses more of the roof in. 

Eventually he replaces slats and beams and becomes aware of what places on the old building he can stand on without falling through.

He and Hopper finish it together when he realises he can't lift it all on his own. 

They work mostly in silence, but sometimes he'll be told what he's doing wrong, without malice – an arm shifting his fingers so he won't lose one. Other days he'll be told a story about a young Joyce and Jim and the trouble he caused in high school, usually after the man's gotten off the phone, having planned another date with the kind and determined woman.

When they decide to build their lives together, he can't imagine what it will be like to be El, Will and Jonathan. With parents that would step through alternate dimensions for you, die for you.

He doesn't say it, just laughs as Hopper tells him he once got caught behind Hawkins High trying to impress a girl by putting a whole packet of cigarettes into his mouth and lighting them all at once.

“Did that actually work?” He asks, he earns a shrug in response and he snorts "can't believe Hawkins sworn protector was a delinquent" the man huffs as they fill in the new window frame. "Believe it, kid." 

Steve's been there four and a half months when the house is up to livable standards and they don't have to use so much wood in the fire. 

He's surprised when Hopper comes home one day with a new lounge.

He helps him lift it into the house, he can tell by the lessening of weight that El is helping, he looks over to her on the other side of the wide armrest, fingers gripping it tightly – a conspiratorial grin that she matches. 

He's a little confused, given the fact that the one they have now is fine, sometimes he'll wake with a cricked neck but it's comfier than all of the white leather lounges his mother found aesthetically pleasing.

It isn't until they have it placed against the wall and Hopper taps at his arm, tells him "check this out" and pulls the lounge out into a bed that he realises it's been bought specifically for him.

His brow furrows, he turns to the man in confusion. But he seems unbothered by Steve's reaction. 

"Beats that old hunk of junk" as his thumb points to the lounge that they'd moved out onto the porch "and I don't have to get up every morning wondering how a kid that's almost six foot manages to turn his body into a pretzel just to get some sleep."

🏠🏠

When the kids had found out he'd been staying with Hopper they were shocked, mostly asking how he could live with the burly man. 

Easily he told them with no further explanation, mostly for his own amusement.

When they learn from El through gritted teeth that he hadn't moved out of home by choice he finds out what it's like to be on the receiving end of their protection and their surprisingly vehement rage. 

He's offered revenge that starts innocently enough. 

Egging his old house, rewiring televisions, cutting off the heads of the tulips his mother had spent months trying to grow into a landslide of more sinister and aggressive acts – slashing tires, cutting phone lines, breaking windows.

He laughs and they turn to him, their arguing over tactics quieting. "It's okay, guys" not even having to put on a brave face in this moment, surrounded by a small band of teenagers ready to commit property damage for him, he truly means it.

At the Hopper household he feels helpful, needed. 

He drives El to school now that she's been given a new identity as Jane Hopper by some shady branch of the government. 

He knows how to fix things, he doesn't have to worry about the space he takes up, how valuable the place he leaves his glass is because Jim Hopper doesn't care and he doesn't own a single coaster.

"I'm alright" he tells them, their faces clinching in confusion and distrust, but they drop it and when he picks them up and they have movie night in the cabin where they had almost died he finds he can smile easily. 

The room smells like popcorn and a seemingly exhausted police officer steals a handful from his bowl before telling him that it's his responsibility that they all get to bed at a reasonable time as he backs himself out of the room and closes his bedroom door.

  🏠🏠

He comes home one Sunday to find El laying out across his lounge, he watches for a moment – unsure of how to proceed. It's clear she's upset and he shuffles forward carefully, calling her name so she knows he's there. 

"Steve" she mutters, her subdued tone drowned out by the pillow she talks into.

He comes to sit on the floor, his back against the sofa. "Yeah?" She turns her head then, her face full of hair. He tries not to laugh given how gloomy she seems.

"Boys are mouth breathers" he can't help the small smile that escapes him now, his eyebrows raise "they are" he agrees "any boys in particular?" He pauses before he points to himself "did I eat the last of the eggos again?" 

El laughs then, just a small huff before her face becomes serious again "Mike." 

She says it softly and in one word he can feel all the strong emotions that come from being so very young and so completely in love.

"Mike the mouth breather" he proclaims "want me to make him walk home from D&D on Friday?" She shakes her head, although the pinch in her brows tells him she's thinking about it.

"I don't know if he loves me" she looks at him with eyes so deep and beyond what they should be that he stills. "Not like I love him."

He's not sure what to say, given everything he's ever seen implies the kid is essentially obsessed with her.

"What makes you say that?"

"When nothing –" she seems to search for what word best explains how she feels "bad is happening, I don't know what to talk to him about." She shrugs sadly, "and he's more interested in D&D and what he and the boys are going to do on the weekend."

She whispers "Max says sometimes that's what having a boyfriend is like and when they are annoying you just do what you want." 

He knows Mike's worried about her, from hushed conversations in the backseat of his car, Steve’s noticed too. Since the mall, without her powers – there are days when she’ll reach out and he knows she’s trying to pull something towards herself, her brow furrows and a solemnness will spread across her face when the object remains unmoved.

"Max isn't wrong" he tells her "but she isn't right either" El's nose scrunches "okay, hang on just –"

He turns more so they are facing each other, "it's good to do things for yourself and on your own, but it's also good to find things that you and Mike can do together." 

"Something we both like?" He nods "yeah, exactly" he smiles "is there anything you both like doing?" 

Her head tilts and she rolls onto her side "we both like going to the arcade?"

"Great, maybe plan a day just for the two of you to go to the arcade." A small smile grows across her face.

"Can you take us?" He isn't sure Mike would appreciate that, but also he doesn't care. He's doing this for El. "Sure."

She leans up "thank you, Steve" then she hugs him. 

He's a little surprised, he knows she's not always one for physical contact. As he brings her closer for a moment, he realises it's the first time they've actually hugged. 

When she pulls away and gets up, she tells him she's going to ring Mike right now. She's halfway to the kitchen when he calls her name, making sure she's looking at him before he speaks.

"Honesty is always best, you should tell Mike how you feel" he smiles, hoping she’ll tell the boy she's struggling "he might surprise you."

"Friends don't lie" she says, as if taking an oath. "Never" he promises.

    🏠🏠

He's about to lock up for the night when someone comes barging through the door, the bell sounds as if it's about to shatter from the force. 

He already knows it's someone trying to avoid late fees, it happens every Sunday – when a person will realise they are about to be charged for not returning Flashdance or something.

He turns to see a face he's seen before, unruly curly hair and grin wide. 

They catch eyes for a moment, both leaning their heads in recognition, Steve can tell he's recognised first as the man's lips switch into something wild and amused, the glint in his eye sharp "Steve Harrington" like they are old enemies meeting again.

He stumbles a moment, trying to recall his name, the man who didn't make their graduating class, always dressed in black, who was louder than those who bullied him "Eddie Munson." He says with uncertainty.

But Eddie's eyes widen slightly in confirmation, clearly surprised that he remembers his name at all.

"Yeah" the tone in his voice losing a little of its venom.

"Almost late" he nods to the pile in Eddie's hands and glances at the large circular clock behind him. Completely ignoring the confusion clear across the man's raised brows.

"You can just leave those there" he points at the counter between them, Eddie reaches forward, keeping his body at a distance as he places his returns along the bench.

He doesn't move as Steve takes the pile. "I'm not closing yet if you want to rent some more." 

That seems to catch Eddie's attention, it's already eight minutes past closing and Sunday's are a cheap day, so he knows he's already making a list in his mind even as he stares at him cautiously.

And then a grin splits across the guy's face and he marches over to the new releases.

He returns to the counter with such a diverse range of genres he wonders who else he's renting for "surprised you're working here."

Steve pauses from ringing up his pile "what's wrong with working here?"

A dry laugh escapes from Eddie "nothing" clearly amused "I just thought the heir of the Harrington fortune would be off at some fancy ass, sweater wearing University."

Steve chuckles, "as if my grades were good enough." He had been an average student, he knows that he would have only gone to college on a sports scholarship. "Rich parents, deep pockets – could have paid your way in."

He laughs too, trapped in a derisive scoff. Then the truth leaves him before he realises "yeah well, that would probably have stopped them from kicking me out." His laughter stops then, his eyes widening.

When he looks up to Eddie, his face is tight, eyes roaming over his face. "That was shitty of them" He tells him so casually that Steve finds relief in it.

He shrugs, "yeah" and goes back to putting Eddie's videos through, filling cases as he shakes off his dejection "what's a guy to do?" He says offhandedly.

"Now far ahead the road has gone, and I must follow, if I can." Eddie tells him, Steve frowns, it sounds like something Will or Mike would say as they play out one of their stories.

"What does that even mean?" Eddie smiles, "it means, there's a whole world out there – the future is yours, do with it what you will." 

He laughs at the small clinch between Steve's brows, grabbing at his pile and making his way to the door "see you around, Steve." 

🏠🏠

“What if I never get my powers back?” El lets slip quietly across the table, it’s Saturday afternoon and Hopper has fallen asleep on his armchair, feet up and snoring loudly, it’s an unwavering sound behind them as they eat powdered sugar donuts he had pilfered from the staff room at work before they’d gone stale. 

He’s been waiting for this, or at least hoping for it. He knows it’s been bothering her, but he hadn’t known how to ask without making it worse. 

It seemed to him that she had been trying to be considered normal for the first time in her life. It worked for a while, she enjoyed school, as quiet and new as she was to the overwhelming experiences of the teenage world. 

But her powers were a part of who she was, fighting and protecting her friends too, who was she without that? He understood. Steve should tell her – her humour was dry and her curiosity endless, her kindness too, not ripped away from her even as she was forced to grow up in sterilised, sunless rooms.

He could tell by the look on her face when she thought he was doing something stupid or how she looked at Max and Mike, love she had never had surrounding her.

‘I don’t know” he tells her, she's owed the truth and Steve knows very little about the experiments that made her the way she is. “Maybe it's like a muscle, like when I hurt my shoulder in middle school, I couldn't swim properly for weeks.” He’d seen physiotherapists and specialists, just to build his strength back. “I was in a sling for a long time, had to work on it day by day.” 

Her head tilts as she listens, but he can see she isn't convinced by his theory. “Fighting the mind flayer like that, used a lot of muscle, maybe it just needs rest.” 

“Maybe you need rest.” He tells her.

“How do I keep everyone safe?” It’s a big question for a child to ask, it winds him for a moment. Steve realises she's still younger than him, when he’d considered walking away from the unbelievable, leaving Nancy and Jonathan to fight alone. “El, it isn’t on you to protect us all.” He reaches for her hand, still covered in dusted sugar, “we're here to protect you.” 

“You aren’t responsible for us” he tells her calmly, because he needs her to know, “and you aren't just your powers.”      

“It feels, wrong without them” he nods along, like he understands “what if we – start training?” He thinks of his basketball coach in middle school, telling him his height didn't matter if he practiced, and became quicker.

“We'll do exercises every day” Eleven looks at him, contemplating “like Rocky?” He claps his hands “yes, exactly!” El's shoulders lift and he watches her hope build. 

“Trying to nap here” the groggy voice of Hopper interrupts them, confused and bewildered, awoken to a loud noise.

El tries to trap her laugh with the palm of her hand.

🏠🏠

El wants to go somewhere, she tells him as he comes back from a half day at the Video Store, just as he's about to sit down.

He groans loudly, as if she's inconveniencing him greatly and he hadn't spent the last five hours of his morning lazily putting away returns as he chatted with Robin in a temperature controlled building.

El shoves at him lightly "Steve" He sits up straight, "okay, what do you wanna do?" 

She shrugs and he groans again, giving her a small smile "something" She tells him simply. He has to remember that she's new to this, going places, knowing what there is to do in town. He realises he's got to show her.

He looks at her, squints his eyes "roller-skating?" She frowns from her place standing over him, "roller-skating?" She repeats.

He jumps up, already grabbing his keys. "Leave a note for your old man, let's go." 

He's on the balls of his feet when they get out of the car, the buildings huge and painted bright colours, El looks over to him, still hesitant even as he watches her eyes take it all in brightly.

"Alright, so it's going to be loud" he tells her as they make their way to the door "lots of music and lights, people falling on their asses." 

He laughs when El looks up to him in alarm, "don't worry, I'll teach you." 

They get their skates, he watches as El ties hers up as tightly as she can, eyes flashing to the people already flying around the rink.

"It's gonna be fun" he tells her "trust me." When he reaches for her hand she takes it, not even a moment to think it through.

El's always been brave. "Okay, let's do this." He says.

She doesn't let his hand go for the first three laps, keeps herself safely between him and the rail. She doesn't seem to notice when she finally lets him go and moments after the rail.

He watches her, realising what she's done and looking back to him with wide eyes, he smiles wider "keep going" he calls, "I'm right behind you."

~~~~

Time doesn't pass the same in places like this, where the lights confuse you and the music plays loudly, people and their laughter coming and going.

So it's a surprise to them both that the sun is going down when they leave, shitty burgers filling their stomachs, legs tired and hands too from the hour they spent in the arcade beside the drome.

They play the radio loud the whole drive home, ears ringing. El's laughter reaches him as her hand weaves its way through the wind of the open window.

🏠🏠

Actively walking into the police station has become less and less strange to Steve over the last eight and a half months.

Hopper, for all his ability to protect and defend is shitty at properly taking care of himself, he orders take out too often, only eats vegetables because he has to in order to be a good role model for El and he always forgets to take his lunch with him to work.

Steve can't even remember the amount of times he's put soups with little notes on the counter, left sandwiches by the door.

At first he thought the man didn't want someone making food for him when he'd leave the plastic containers in the fridge, then he had realised he hadn't even noticed they were there.

When he told him, he had been surprised, thanked him and the next day the fridge had been empty.

Over time though, he learnt that Hopper will often roll out of bed, haphazardly dress and walk out of the house without a thought of what he will be eating that day.

So Steve will find himself walking through the station's halls almost monthly. He'd find the man at his desk and hand it to him – at first with apprehension and then over time with amusement. 

No one even bats an eye at him being here, Mrs Greenwich – who's always telling him to call her Flo, will even have cookies for him sometimes, call him over with a wave to ask how he is.

Today the town must be quiet, the car park full of police vehicles and the buildings alive with chatter about last week's game and what everyone's doing on the weekend. He smiles as he passes Mrs Greenwich, shaking the container of beef and vegetable soup in his hands at her, she rolls her eyes and waves him into the man's office. “He's still here.”

His legs are up on the desk, half a burger from Johnny's down the street in his mouth when he sees Steve. 

"I forgot" he says, barely seeming apologetic. He huffs as he plants himself in the seat in front of his desk "I warmed it up and everything."

"If you're trying to make me feel bad, it isn't going to work" he takes another bite of his meat packed lunch "this is too good."

"Whatever" he says as he opens the container, and pulls a spoon from his jacket pocket "I'm having it then."

“You don't have to make me lunch all the time, you know?” He hums as he opens the container, condensation from the lid drips onto the edge of his jacket and he shakes it off “yeah, but I want to” Steve likes helping, taking care of people. It puts him at ease, knowing there's something he can do for everyone. “Don't want you thinking you – you don't owe me.” 

“I do” he says plainly, because he does “but that's not why I do it.” His answer seems enough for Jim, his eyes staying on him a moment longer. “Alright, well – I'll remember tomorrow” he nods, spinning his spoon through the soup, collecting half crushed carrots. They eat in silence for a moment, both content with their meals. 

Hopper breaks the quiet when he asks "you ever thought about working here?' He looks up in bewilderment "me?" 

"Yeah" he stares at him, "you."

"As an officer of the law?" He checks again, spoon still in his hand. "If you want, or even in the office" He must see the look of life questioning caution on Steve's face, because he sits up, places his feet back on the floor.

"Don't freak out about it, kid" he tells him, as soft as his voice can, “you don't have to."  

"Just thought you'd be good at it." He nods, he's never been one for authority, deciding to think about it later "yeah, okay – I'll think about it." They resume their lunch, Steve stealing a handful of fries.

🏠🏠

Steve's in the carpark of Hawkins High, waiting for Robin, they have a shared shift tonight and he knows Keith will hold it against them for the rest of the month if they're late. 

The moment the bell rings the silence changes quickly into an overwhelming sound, kids pass his car in a max exudes – he watches them with an odd kind of nostalgia he feels he hasn’t yet earned.

His attention catches on a group of guys in black, bags slung lazily over their shoulders as they push and shove at each other, their laughter reaching him. 

There's a tap on his window, he jumps as he turns to Robin’s smiling face. He points at the lock, the door clearly open. Her smile only widens as she swings it out as far as she can and climbs into the seat in a rushed fumble. 

"Dingus" she says fondly in greeting, he's accepted that he will never shake the nickname. "Took you long enough" he tells her, tapping at his watch. She rolls her eyes, both knowing he's being pedantic for the fun of it. 

"I actually ran for you, be grateful" he smiles, about to tell her they will not be stopping for Wendy's today no matter how much she argues. She isn't allowed to use her abilities from the debate team on him anymore, it's why they've been late twice in the last two weeks. 

His eyes return to the group of boys he'd been watching, making their way across the grass. Easy to find amongst all the colour. A yell rings out as a body launches itself into their small circle. 

He recognises the man immediately, curly hair whipped by the wind as he jumps between them, arms grabbing at bags and the yelling and laughter grows louder. He watches as those around them give their wild cluster a wide berth and frowns.

"That's your competition right there" Robin says beside him, he turns in confusion. "Who?" He asks, "for what?" She starts to laugh "Dustin hasn't mentioned Eddie?" 

She makes a low whistling sound "why would Dustin talk to me about Eddie Munson?" 

"Full name, like a true nemesis" when his eyebrows stay lifted in question she answers "he runs their little game group" she says as explanation. "You know, the Dragons in Dungeons."

"Dungeons and Dragons" he corrects her without a beat missed, as if he knows more about it than he truly does. "Yeah, that, he's their lord and leader or whatever."

Steve brows dip further, watching the group as Eddie seems to take the lead and they start making their way across the carpark. "They all follow him around at school like he's the messiah." She starts to laugh again, “or the antichrist.”

"He came into the store the other night" he tells her, still distracted by the crowd in black almost out of view.

Robin snorts "How'd that go?" He thinks about Eddie's strange words of support. "Weirdly, okay" He says distantly, still confused. Robin laughs "befriending the enemy" she conspires, flicking at his forehead. “Interesting tactic.”

He bats her away, looks to his watch "shit" He pulls out of the car park, forgetting the boy all dressed in dark denim. "We're gonna be late again."

 🏠🏠

Hopper’s made them dinner tonight, it's a kind of mix of everything they had left in the refrigerator.

They crowd around the small table together with their bowls filled to the brim. Steve's knees brush the bench as he takes targeted scoops to pick out the potatoes first. 

It's unusually quiet, El keeps glancing at him and all he can do is shake his head, equally bewildered. They only take a few more bites before Hopper clears his throat, spoon clattering down on the table. 

"Right" he says, it's a call to attention and so they pause, curiosity building.

"I'm thinking of buying a house" Steve pauses, his fingers gripping his spoon tighter, El looks between them excitedly, eyes alight "in the town?" Hopper chuckles lightly, taking in her excitement and beaming with it "yeah, in the town." 

He looks to Steve in a shared basking of her joy, he smiles back, trying to appear elated, but all he's really thinking is where he's going to go now.

"Is Joyce going to move in too?" She asks, her tone curious "can Will and I get bunk beds?" Hopper misses the teasing in her tone.

The man seems to sputter out a response "No, Joyce and I haven't – spoken about that step and –" even in his worry he joins El in her laughter "oh, yeah, laugh at your old man." He exclaims, pushing himself back into his chair.

"Have you started looking?" He asks cautiously, Steve may not want to think about it, but he's learnt to be quick to action, already planning. 

There's rooms above shops he can rent on old main street, maybe he'll even ask if he can stay here. It'll be strange to be alone again, he hates the idea of this place becoming as quiet and vacant as his parents house had been. But he's safe, comfortable here.

"Was gonna look at a place this weekend" he looks between them "if you guys wanna come check it out?" 

"That's great" he says, hoping he sounds supportive "yeah, sure." Hopper smiles at him, nods, picks up his spoon and resumes his meal.

The rest of the dinner he listens along as El asks questions, if they can live near Max, how big her room will be, if they can get a dog. Her Dad answers as well as he can and Steve quietly sips from his bowl, pretending he's included in this new life they are creating.

 🏠🏠

He pulls up just as the kids come out of their weekly D&D game, the sun's still up and he knows they'll be asking for a lift to the arcade. 

He winds down his window to tell them to hurry up when he sees who has them lingering.

They meet eyes and Eddie stops, looking between the group of kids around him and Steve half out his car window, hand resting on the door to hold his weight.

"What's Steve Harrington doing here?" He asks, to no one in particular. Dustin chuckles as he begins to answer "Steve's our –" he starts then pauses, looking for a word that fits all that they've been through that still makes sense, Lucas hides a cackle behind his hand beside him.

"I'm their babysitter" he calls out, mostly to see the look that passes across Dustin’s face. "Is not."

"He's like our driver" he tells Eddie quickly "he's a nuisance" Mike mumbles just loud enough for Steve to hear. "You wanna walk, Wheeler?" He says even as he unlocks the door for the kid to climb in.

"You always chauffeur these shits?" Eddie asks as he makes his way over. Steve's not sure how to answer that, considering it's a very embarrassing yes "Steve picks us up every Friday." Dustin tells him.

"Yeah, no bike riding at night." Steve points as the boy gets in the passenger seat beside him.

He turns to see Eddie, eyebrows lifted as he watches a bunch of teenagers climb into his BMW. 

"Guess I'll see you next Friday then" he's smiling, rueful and amused.

"Can't wait to see what you come up with, Will" the man says, his eyes catching Steve's again before he backs away, waving a lazy goodbye over his shoulder.

"What's that about?" He asks Will, eyes catching in the rear view mirror, his face giddy, "I'm designing a tattoo for him." He says casually even as the excitement in his eyes is barely under control.

He turns in his seat "a tattoo?" He tells himself to calm down as Will's face splits in confusion "yeah?" 

Steve can only nod, unsure of himself, disconcerted. "Bit young to have tattoos," he says. He's laughed at, eyes rolling. "Calm down Steve, it's not like Will is getting one." Dustin tells him. "Plus, Eddie's an adult – and he already has heaps."

Steve wonders where they are, he never noticed any on the man before, maybe he'd never really paid enough attention.

He nods, "yeah, you're right" he smiles at Will "bet it's gonna be his best one yet." Will's lips lift and the unease leaves Steve's chest.

"Can we go to the arcade now please?" Lucas asks.

  🏠🏠

The first time El calls him her brother they're at the shops on old main street, he's picking her and Max up when he notices an older boy giving them trouble. 

He knows both El and Max can handle themselves but it doesn't stop him from getting out of his car and making his way over, hands on hips. He catches the back end of Max's insult and laughs, three pairs of aggravated eyes turn his way, El's, giving way to relief when she realises it's just him.

"There a problem here?" He asks, not even glancing at the boy beside them, he barely looks seventeen, his legs too long for his growing body.  

He can see in Max's eyes that she's already clocked the weakness, ready to kick him in the shin any second now.

"Who the hell are you?" The kid asks, eyes flickering with uncertainty, but unable to back down so publicly. Steve chuckles, about to tell him he'll be the one that kicks his scrawny little ass when El speaks.

"That's my brother and if you don't back off he will kick your ass."

"I will" he tells him when his eyes flick up to his, he only stands there proud and defiant for a second longer before he deflates, running off to his bike, yelling "loser" and other ridiculously childish insults as he rides away.

He's shaking his head about to ask if they can believe the guy when he realises what El had said. My brother.

He doesn't think she's noticed, she only smiles at him as Max makes a comment about how he might have actually won that fight. He trails behind them as they walk to his car muttering to himself "tell that to the Russians."

When he and Eleven get home they both drop onto his lounge, he lets El try to turn on the TV, she shakes her head, he smiles gently, giving her the patience she won't give herself, before he reaches for the remote “you’ll get it.”

Hopper comes home a little later, resting his hat on the coat rack by the door beside Steve's Family Video vest and the big poofy jumper El wears when it's cold. "Anything exciting happen today, kids?"

They both shake their heads, uttering out a no as they continue to stare at the TV "okay" the old man says, a laugh clearly on his lips "Chinese for dinner?" He calls out from his bedroom.

They glance at each other then, looks passing across their faces that can be understood as clearly as words "pizza" They both yell back.

  🏠🏠

His back is turned, engrossed in putting away empty cases on overfilled shelves when a body bumps itself against his side, he jumps – a natural reaction given what he's been through – ready to defend himself.

"Wow there, Harrington" Eddie's eyes are wide, there must be a look on Steve's face, beyond the shock of someone knocking their shoulders against yours on a quiet Wednesday evening. 

"Sorry, didn't mean to –" the man cuts himself off, then finishes his sentence with uncertainty “scare you.” Confused by the aggressiveness of Steve's clench fists and widening pupils.

Steve shakes himself, already moving on, adrenaline leaving him as soon as he knew there wasn't a threat to his life.

"Nah, it's all good" he shrugs his shoulders "just haven't seen signs of life for a little while." 

They both glance around the building, an old man that comes in routinely to rent every Martin Scorsese film they have and berates Steve for no reason, wanders around in the aisle behind them "doesn't count" He says off handedly. 

Eddie's shoulders shake as they turn into each other, laughter leaving them.

"Looking for anything in particular?" Since Steve began working here he's learnt to read people, and the particular tastes of those aimlessly searching through the shelves. He's already aware that some of Eddie's film choices might be beyond him.

His theory is confirmed when a huff of air leaves the man's throat and he shakes his head. He looks at him, brow raised as Eddie's eyes glaze over him. "Nah, just thought I'd come and see what's around."

"We got some weird film about a weird pagan monster thing?" Creatures of the night though, do seem safely within his interests. 

"I love monsters" voice rising, cracking excitedly, as he turns his left arm, he catches the edge of a winged creature, its claws splayed out around his tricep.

Eddie almost coos as he glides his fingers over the edges “she's my favourite” Steve moves closer, pulled in by the reverence with which he speaks of the ink on his skin. Curiosity fills him, "how many do you even have?" Eddie only smiles as he pulls down his collar with vigour.

A skull with patchy wind swept hair sits above his fingers, peeking out from stretched polyester pulled taut.

"What's the meaning of that?" He asks as he leans over to inspect the etchings underneath his collarbone, Eddie only lifts a shoulder carelessly “there isn't one” his lips scrunch and shift "thought it looked cool” he states, plain and simple. 

Steve can't imagine acting so impulsively, changing your body without thought, following a feeling without care.

“And that?” He catches the edges of something, fine and light just above the half decayed skull. Eddie grins and he watches as his hand pulls the shirt along, skin untouched by the sun as a spider dances along the beginnings of his shoulder.

“Spider” Eddie says, head nodding and brows lifting in self approval. “This guy used to keep sneaking back into the trailer every time I'd put him back out.” 

“Ended up bunking together for a year.”

Steve can't help the way his lip lifts, Eddie the saviour of all things feared and strange.

“What?” He lets go of his shirt, wrinkling as it falls back into place. Eddie's head turns as he looks at him curiously and he tampers down the chuckle that starts to rise from his throat “just, that's a spooky collection, you have there.” He waves his hand out awkwardly towards Eddie's tattooed chest.

He clears his throat, “What's next?” Already knowing Will has been intensely etching in his notebook, uttering away and refusing to show anyone.

“Well, it was gonna be a surprise” he whispers “but mostly for the kiddos” Eddie leans forward this time, collusion and secrets, casting a wide grin across his face. “A devil for Hellfire” He points to the bare skin along his forearm “On strings of course.” He makes a movement with his hand, fingers spread, like leading a mannequin.

“Always in control?” Steve asks and Eddie laughs, curls flicking “of the campaign, always.” He shrugs and there's a sardonic implication in the drag of his words that it might be the only time he feels he has any kind of control.

He recognises the emotion, an understanding flickering between them, that neither put out into the world. Instead he asks “so, that's what Will's been working away on?”

Eddie smiles wider at the mention of the boy's name. “He won't show anyone, you know” Steve lifts a brow, softened by his diligence, “keeps it hidden like it's sacred.”

”Never tell him” he points a finger his way “you know, Dustin, he's going to do some mega, space brain shit.” His eyes, lit with amusement and affection for the boy that he knows he mirrors, soften slightly. 

“But Will” he pauses, as if he hadn't expected to say so much, “I understand.”

The earnestness surprises him, even as he struggles to put the two beside each other. Eddie, so loud and wild – while Will's voice barely rises, always keeping peace instead of breaking it.

But like the relationships he's created over the last few years, he knows that sometimes, you don't have to be exactly like someone to know them inherently.

“You may not believe it, buddy” the man says, taking his silence as disagreement. “I wasn't always like this” He waves his hands at his eye-catching outfit. 

Steve can't really recall him before. Eddie was ever only like this, a spectacle at lunch, entertainment as he was kicked out of class.

He figured he'd always been that way, formed by heavy metal music and an intense dislike for authority. 

It never occurred to him that Eddie wasn't always as he is, he can only imagine that if he says he understands Will most of all, then maybe there was a time that he was so quiet, so inside himself, that Steve hadn't even known he was there.

He wants to lighten the mood, his thoughts striking him strangely “please tell me you had a bowl cut.” 

It works, the feeling lifting as Eddie bulks at him. Looking glad to be free of the weight of his words. “Fuck off” he scoffs, even as a breath of air leaves him sounding delighted.

 🏠🏠

When El tries and fails to flick the lights, turn on the TV, her frustration grows. They set up coke cans behind the house, almost drinking a case over a single week in anticipation wasn't Steve's wisest moment. But he hates to see El so dejected.

“Fresh air, the light of day” he tells her, “might help you unwind” cooped up inside, the walls trapping her, he can't imagine a rickety house you were once confined in is a great place to unlock the mind. 

Being outside probably isn't the best idea, but the trees are full and he hides them between the cabin and his car. Traps and bells set up in defense.

Hours later and every word of support Steve can think of and nothing has helped, no cracks or crushed cans and El only seems miserable, her frustration clear, eyes wild and desperate.

“Do you think it took them?” Her eyes glaze over the cans despondently “no, at least I don't think so.” This is an unknown for both of them, “I think, it's more likely you need to find them.”

El is pensive, he can tell she's weighing her next words, lips pursing and brows dipping “I need to float” It takes him a moment to realise what she means, “I don't know, El” he only knows what he's been told, that she disappears into a realm with no end, people walking through like ghosts “Yes” he turns “Steve” releases the tightness in his shoulders at the look on her face.

“The bath tub? Is that enough –” unsure of how it works “water?” She nods and he sees her hope and her determination rise.

“They used to – Papa, when my powers didn't work” her voice goes hard, like she isn't allowed to let her emotions out and he already hates this man she called father more than any creature “they would leave me” she pauses again “to float in the dark, until” it's all she says and he doesn't ask her to say more. He already knows that she was left there, alone for hours until she did something worthy of release.

He swallows, runs a hand through his hair – anything to stop the feeling of being unable to stop what's already happened. “You didn't deserve that, El” her face, tilted down, lifts “I know.” He tells himself she's been free of that place for almost four years, that she has people around her that will do anything to make sure she stays free.

“Good, cause you're never going back, ever” over his beaten or dead body, he thinks but doesn't say. And she nods and it's enough for now.

“I think we should tell Jim” El shuffles on her feet “What if he says no?” He understands, if he did, then her options are to listen and feel lost or to go against his wishes “if something goes wrong we'll need him.”

“It might also be a good idea to tell him how you're really feeling, El” knows Hopper would never want her suffering in silence “we can tell him together, if you want?”

“Okay” she whispers, he reaches for her, resting  a hand on her shoulder and she wraps her arms around him, he grunts at the force, before he pulls her closer, trying to assure her she'll make it through. He decides it can't end like this, El disconnected from her own being – though all he can do is hold her tighter. “We'll figure this out.”

~~~~

They tell him as soon as he gets home, anticipation and nerves building as they had waited. He pauses, taking in his daughter's pleading eyes, when he looks to Steve, he knows his decision has already been made.

“You sure?” He leans his body against the kitchen table “I just, I want you to get to be a kid” he realises now why Hopper had stayed quiet, that after everything she has been through, he wanted her to live a life, unburdened by responsibility and the weight of her power.

El seems to understand that too, “I thought not having them would be –” Hopper lets out a breath “Dad, it's a part of me.” He nods, he always seems a little disarmed when she calls him that, even after she'd first let it slip after the mall, he looks at her with a love marrow bone deep, seeped into the cells of his very being. 

“You're still you without them, you know.” Eyes glassy, El smiles and burrows herself into his arms.

“This could be dangerous.” He knows Hopper doesn't just have a responsibility to only El, but to Hawkins too. “I know, I'll be careful.” She's so sure "anything goes wrong, feels even a little bit off, you're out. No ifs or buts.”

It's a deal El is more than willing to make, she doesn’t want to hurt, doesn't want to harm others. She just wants to feel like herself again. “Just a scouting mission” Steve adds, like he's heard Dustin say a thousand times as they prep for their next D&D game.

“Okay then, can you sit on it for a week or two? Give us time to prepare?” They don't need to do much, fill a bathtub with salt and cover her eyes. But that gives them all time to mentally brace themselves.

They don't know what will happen, what could come to her when she reaches out. They discuss it as the week ticks by, Joyce will be there, Will too, he knows there's no way Mike would stay away.

They've killed the mindflayer, they're safer than they've been in a long time and even though he truly believes it has never been solely on El to save them, he's aware that without her powers, they are blind to what could be out there. 

Everyone's so used to being on edge that it's hard to know if they can trust the quiet. At least, even if El finds something she shouldn't, they will know.

🏠🏠

On Friday the kids tell him they will meet him at the arcade, so when it gets to Saturday afternoon and he and El are waiting around playing air hockey, he's complaining.

"I mean I don't drive them everywhere, but you should have heard it El, it was like being dismissed from class" his nose scrunches " – or fired." He can tell she's trying not to laugh as she listens aptly.

"They aren't doing anything dumb are they?" He doesn't give her time to respond "is that why you aren't with them?" He thinks for a moment before coming to a conclusion "no, then Max would be here too."

And like summoning a ghost, Max walks up to them through the crowd, coming to stand beside El, hugging her – their hips locked at their sides. "Are they up to something stupid?" He asks her, not even bothering to greet her or explain who he's speaking of. 

She looks between them, El merely shrugs "Lucas chugged a whole carton of chocolate milk on the way here?" She laughs, low, like a super villain "then I convinced Dustin to do it too."

He misses the puck and Eleven scores against him "wait, you all came together?"

"Yeah –" before she can finish speaking they're interrupted by laughter, a voice speaking loudly over it "I don't know, mano a mano or not, you're both gonna regret it."

"Dustin is going to regret it more and he was at least five seconds slower." Steve doesn't even listen to what Dustin says in his defence, too caught up in the fact that Eddie's here, standing behind the kids like he's dropping them off to school.

"Eddie" he says dumbly, catching the man's attention. "Steve" he calls, "what are you doing here?" He hopes it doesn't come off as insulting "the children conjured me." He tells him languidly, smiling and unbothered by Steve's demand.

"If that's alright with you" he asks, more genuine than Steve would have expected, he nods “yeah, man” reaching to place the puck back on the table "more adult supervision." 

Dustin makes to argue but he's cut off by the sound of Eddie's laughter, high and husky all at once.

Steve watches it roll out of him, his shoulders rising and falling as Dustin’s face screws itself together, "that wasn't even funny." 

"A joke for the grown ups" Steve says, edged along by the other man's laugh. Their eyes meet in shared amusement, lit by his goading.

Dustin gives up when he's ignored, dragged away by Lucas who doesn't seem to care about anything other than playing tron and winning.

Eddie makes his way over once the crowd of younger teenagers between them has cleared, each racing off in different directions. El smiles his way, leaving the mallet on the table as Max drags her off to teach her how to play Dig Dug – likely in the hopes that she can knock Dustin into third place.

"And just like that, the flock goes out on their own" Eddie says, voice fading off in fake wistfulness. Steve chuckles before he nods to the empty space across from them "can't waste a token" he tells him.

Eddie makes his way over, rolling the sides of his black shirt up to the elbows and smiles wide in anticipation, Steve sends his own back.

His grin widens as he sends the puck his way, Eddie easily blocking it. 

His face must show his surprise "guitar player" he says as an explanation, waggling his other hand "quick fingers."

It's easy to imagine the man with a bright red electric guitar, playing some song that would scare his parents. "Impressive" he notes, when Eddie stops him again.

"So how'd you get roped into being their new chauffeur?" He asks.

He's met with laughter again as their game continues, slowly losing any competitiveness in the lull of their conversation, they barely put in the effort to send it across the table, Eddie leans forward to grab it when it stops halfway between them. 

"I made the mistake of asking them what their plans were for the weekend."

"Oh, man" he shakes his head "that's a rookie's mistake" he says, like he hasn't done the exact same thing a thousand times.

"Yeah, well" He pauses "live and not learn" he drawls as he sends the puck along the table with enough force that Steve has to scramble to stop it.

When he looks up Eddie's eyes are lit with a dare. Steve feels a spark of adrenaline, he hasn't had a challenge in a long time, one on one basketball games with Lucas for practice hardly count. 

Air hockey probably shouldn't either, but Steve doesn't care, already too caught in the need to win.

Time passes easily as they play, trying to distract each other with empty taunts. He can't help the laugh that bursts from him when Eddie sends the puck off into a crowd of loud mouthed boys that walk by, narrowly missing all human beings and dinging off a pinball machine.

"I think I'm going to admit defeat" Eddie says, "yeah, I feel it's time for me to retire on a win" Steve adds.

~~~~

They each have milkshakes, halfway through them already as they watch the kids bounce from machine to machine.

He can tell Max has just beat Dustin again from the wide grin across her face, cheeks reddening in victory.

"Hey don't run, I'm not taking you to the ER!" He yells out as Dustin shakes off his loss, following after Lucas and out of his view.

He hears a whistle beside him, looking to Eddie where he watches him, fiddling with his straw.

"What?" He asks, "you know, when the kids said you'd be here" leaning his way, like they are sharing a secret "that you take them to the arcade every other week," he shakes his head "I knew I had to come." Steve's eyes widened, "why?"

"Human curiosity" Eddie shrugs "Steve Harrington, driving around a bunch of losers."

"They aren't losers" he says, voice hard. "Yes, they are" Eddie tells him plainly "and, I mean that as the best possible thing they could be." His mouth lifting at the edges "I mean, I'm a loser" arms raising. 

"Kind of cool to find out you're a loser too." He adds, sounding glad of it.

"I am not a loser" he defends himself lightly, nose scrunched. Eddie lets out a huff like he doesn't believe him.

"I had to make sure I hadn't hallucinated you picking them up the other night." Ignoring the fact that he'd also visited him at work, bared his chest, then told him things he wasn't sure he'd meant to.

It feels at odds, to feel so close to someone so distant.

He turns to him, the last sip of his strawberry milkshake on his tongue "what, my BMW's a mirage?" He snorts.

"Maybe you're a figment of my imagination." Eddie says, sounding far away, he watches him look out to the kids, Mike and Will versing each other in Mortal Kombat, Mike's hair flicking as he shakes his head, Will laughing beside him.

"Or a ghost" Steve murmurs and he feels it sometimes, not being real – not feeling tied to one place, left to drift alone. Haunting those he has left as they grow and change around him.

"Maybe I died years ago and now I'm haunting you and a bunch of freshmen."

"Or someone's taken over your body." Eddie looks at him, almost like he believes it. He supposes it's a fair assumption given the last time they had interacted before this year, he would have been surrounded by a group of people who made his life hell.

"Maybe" he says, trying to match the joy around them and not let the damage of his detachment leak into his voice.

"Well whoevers living in your skin now" Eddie looks him in the eye "They're alright." Then he leans forward, as if speaking to someone behind his pupils "sorry if you're trapped in there real Steve."

"Shut up!" He laughs, pushing the man back.

"We should hang out" he says, the question following the high of Eddie's laugh as he falls back into his chair. It stops it short, the man's face shifting in soft surprise.

"You want to socialise?" Eddie announces slowly "With me?" 

"Yeah?" He moves his empty cup between his hands slowly, "isn't that what we are doing right now?" He feels the air stir, hair flicking around him as Eddie's head shakes "maybe, technically” he lifts a shoulder ”but, you kind of got tricked by a bunch of teenagers into hanging out with me." 

"Well, okay" he sets his empty drink down "but you're having a good time, yeah?" He feels stupid for asking, worried the answer will be no. The man beside him only watches him intently, dark eyes calculating.

He doesn’t get a concise answer, but Eddie's face clears and a decision is made as his rings clink against the table he taps "alright, I'm game."

He takes it, grasps at the acceptance no matter how much it feels like Eddie's only rising to a perceived challenge.

Eddie drags out the last of his milkshake with precise movements of his straw as he asks "Hey, you like bats?"

🏠🏠

Like always, you tell one person within their group you are doing something that could be dangerous and the rest come along with a collective death wish.

They cram into the small cabin, furniture pushed out into the edges. Robin and Nancy had put themselves forward as test subjects, posted up in Nancy’s bedroom, ready by the phone. 

They all stay quiet as El situates herself into the water, empty bags of salt already disposed of on the porch. Breaths and tapping feet fill the room.

“Do you feel anything?” He hears Jonathan whisper to Will, Joyce beside him, glances back between her two children. His eyes are trained on El, with a concentration that's fervent, he shakes his head “no” face furrowed, like he doesn't trust it, like he's searching.  

The room still lets out a collective sigh, thankful for any kind of confirmation that at least for now, they are the only ones here with El.

Steve feels a heavy weight that sits behind his eyes, blurring his vision, a worry that's been building slowly all week, has him pinching the bridge of his nose to try and dispel it. He's as close as he can get, his promise to El that he would be right there if she needed him, tentatively leant against the pool's edge, careful not to place too much of his body's weight against it.

He speaks steadily, soft enough that she can hear him without breaking her concentration “how are you doing in there?” 

Her lips purse and he already knows what she's going to say “nothing” it's despondent, but determined, she's still searching, locked in a trance.

“It's okay” he dips his hand into the water but doesn't reach for her “this is your first try” Steve knows all about unattainable standards, how they can make you give up before you even try, make you freeze – feel like you can't do a thing “you've been in Nancy’s room?” She nods, "she curled my hair last week” her lips unparse and loosen into a smile, the memory taking away some of her tenseness. 

“You had fun?” He asks, hoping he's helping instead of distracting, she nods “how did you feel?” He remembers her coming home beaming, showing him her hair, curls tighter and more pronounced than usual “it was nice.”

“Yeah?” He nods too, even though she can't see him “okay, so now I want you to imagine her room” voice still soft “then Nancy in it, Robin too.” He gives her a moment to imagine it, “the sound of their voices.”

Everyone else is scattered around the pool, supportive and nervous. Mike, he notices and would love to point out but won't – paces in a similar way to Hopper, both on either side of the room, unable to stay still and keeping guard.

It feels like days, there's only the sound of the birds outside and the shuffling of their fretful bodies as El continues to float along the water, the smell of salt permeating the room.

He notices the moment she catches something, her head tilting, moving water before she stills “wait” And everyone pauses. Lucas and Max, sitting quietly on the lounge against the wall, lean forward. 

“What is it?” Mike asks at the same time that Hopper says “What do you see, El?” Steve waits, ready to pull her from the water at any moment

“Robin –” she pauses, like she's trying to translate “They're doing maths homework” he almost lets out a laugh at her derision, lip curling as she floats. “It's weird” she adds. 

“I'm sorry you have to see that” she fails to hold in a laugh “it's – numbers and letters?” repeating the math equation to the room “please, stop” Steve groans, El lifts her blindfold, eyes blinking as her grin grows. “I did it” There's a throat clearing behind them, heavy with emotion “you sure did,” Hopper says, putting a hand on Steve's shoulder.

“I did it” she repeats. He can see the pride, the missing parts of herself knitting themselves back together and he does reach for her this time, pulling her half from the water, and himself half into it. It only takes a moment and Jim's open palms rest against their backs and then there's the clattering and pressure of a room of people crowding and covering them. 

It’s awkward and Steve is caught between El’s shoulder and Lucas’ elbow, but he refuses to move and they all stay that way, shrouded and uncomfortable but happy.

 🏠🏠

Eddie hadn't taken Steve's words as a passing comment, something one person will say, both knowing it will never happen.

No, Eddie shows up halfway through Steve's next Tuesday night shift, plants himself up on the bench and spends the rest of his evening chatting away like they've been friends since middle school.

He tries to match the ease Eddie seems to exude, the fluidity of the conversation. 

He doesn't make him uncomfortable, but there is something in the way he takes over every room he walks into that unsettles Steve.

Whether you like him or not, it doesn't change the fact that you notice Eddie Munson.

It helps that Robin's here, equally as confused, but far better at adapting to the strange than he is.

They chat to and around him, music, movies, all the things they feel Steve's missed out on. "Don't worry, Dustin’s teaching him." He hears Robin say.

"I've watched all the Star Wars" he calls from the back room, making his way out to find Eddie and Robin laughing, half propped up by the counter.

"And Back to the Future!" He puts in for extra measure. Eddie rests his chin in his palm, "there's so much more to be seen, Harrington" he says, a feeling of curiosity becomes apprehensive as Steve can feel the way the man seems to be jotting down every part of who he is that could be used against him.

Somehow, in a way that doesn't feel threatening.

"No, thank you" he points at him "you're gonna pick the evil dead or something" the grin that widens along his face, teeth catching his bottom lip confirms Steve's theory. 

"Try and scare the shit out of me" he mumbles, turning away.

Steve should be hardened to anything horror and films like that had never bothered him before, but after eighty three when he'd been trying to feel like himself again, he'd gone out with his friends to watch Children of the Corn.

It hadn't gone well. He had been okay until the first jump scare, then without his control, adrenaline had run away with him. He couldn't stop the beating of his own heart, rapid and frantic.

He spent the whole movie with fingers gripped to the armchair, unable to move, feeling like the walls of the cinema would give way and demigorgans would come from behind the curtains.

"Don't worry Stevie, I'd be there" he looks over his shoulder to catch his eye, rolling his own as the man's gaze becomes smug.

"I feel safer already" voice flat as he jests. Yet the idea of sitting beside Eddie, his fast chattering voice and dramatic gestures doesn't seem as haunting as a dark cinema with its speakers so loud he can feel himself vibrating.

He turns as Eddie grins, his whole face cracking open with the splitting of his lips, he's all teeth and wide eyes as dimples dip into his reddening cheeks.

It's the brightest thing he's ever seen, he can't remember anyone smiling at him like this. His gaze is vivid, with more life and personality than kids he'd known from weekends spent at the country club, who had already travelled half the world before their twelfth birthdays. 

He wants to ask if his face hurts, if there's an ache in his cheeks, how he can hold it even in a world that's never treated him right.

“Yeah, can't say anyone's ever said that about me” Steve imagines Eddie, all dressed in black and hair down his back, has made old women cross roads, and mothers clutch their kids closer as he passes.

Eddie, who opened the door for the excited children running out the store with videos their parents had given them a handful of coins to rent, his smile following as they grabbed at their waiting bikes.

How much of himself, misunderstood before he had decided these people weren't worth his time.

“I don't know” he says, he thinks about how Will told him Eddie would walk in front of them in hallways, distracting anyone who would make those behind him a target, “there's a –” he cuts himself off, mirth and truth in his eyes “saintly way about you.” 

Eddie snorts, but he's laughing and he keeps on smiling, still bright, his happiness beaming.

Steve bathes in it, basks. It's over so quickly that he doesn't even ask why.

🏠🏠

Steve finds himself brought into Eddie's Circle of Insanity, they'll chat after D&D games, the kids scattered around them.

Eddie becomes a staple of arcade days and Steve enjoys getting to sit back with someone his own age, even if the man has names for everything and everyone that borderline on immature to scandalising – Steve realises the place he has in his life when he refers to him as a part of his flock.

They start hanging out alone when Dustin complains about how they talk too much. Apparently he doesn't appreciate that they have inside jokes about him that he can't figure out.

He and Eddie meet up at his work just after he finishes his shift and Eddie's just got out of school. 

It's still early, the sun won't be going down for a while so they decide to meander around town. 

They get a bag full of burgers and fries from Burger King, then chocolate milkshakes to chase it down.

They end up at a picnic bench, Eddie jumps up onto the table, their meal laid out beside him, Steve sits where you're intended to, looking up to the boy where he faces him, taking pickles from burgers and adding them all into one.

"You're going to eat that?" He asks, face clear with his disgust, lip curled and body leaned back. Eddie looks at him like the answer is obvious then takes a large mouthful "you want a bite?" He offers with delight.

Steve huffs, "no, you keep your –" he takes a bite of his own, now pickleless meal "your concoction" Eddie grins, the top of his lip already covered in ketchup. 

Eddie's tongue catches it and Steve watches his mouth, now wet and glistening. He looks away, taking another bite of his burger. 

"So is this a usual Harrington hang out?" He looks up at him in confusion, "fast food and public parks?" He laughs. "Not usually, most days I hang out with high schoolers while they do their homework." 

He thinks of Robin, when he picks her up from school and as he plays the audience while she practises English presentations in the back room before they start their shift. 

"Steve Harrington, helper of homework." He grimaces, "you think Dustin and Robin need my help?"

He looks up to find Eddie watching, analysing him. His eyes focused before becoming careful, he taps his fingers along the old wood of the picnic bench, following the various names and dates carved into it. 

"You could help me with mine?" His voice is timid, drifts away cautiously in a way he's never heard before. "What homework have you got?" Steve's never been great with essays but he's alright with numbers, he even did well in his Spanish class. Woodwork had always been an easy A. "Ah, social studies" Eddie tells him as he pulls a bunch of folded papers from the inside of his jacket, all creased and drawn on. "The second World War."

He smiles, takes them from him, "gotta pen?" Eddie grabs a half whittled pencil from his back pocket "okay, I think we can do this." They spend the next half hour trying to remember everything they can about America's landing in Normandy, then their movements into Germany.

Steve's surprised by how much he himself remembers, let alone Eddie. The man spits off dates and facts like he's a lecturer, he watches him in fascination. 

He waves his hands around, and it's then that he realises the page in front of them is still empty. "Eddie" The man pauses, looks at him like he'd forgotten he was there, he laughs "we haven't written anything." 

Eddie looks down at the empty page, pencil flicking between his fingers. "Should probably get on that." 

"Yeah" Steve says leaning closer so they are both overlooking the paper, they go through it slowly, huddled together. He's surprised Eddie had to repeat a year, though he doesn't say it.

Even without a textbook he's jotting off dates and names with the confidence of a teacher. 

He'll bounce things off Steve, rambling and debating as he writes, sometimes asking how to spell a word then remembering before Steve can even begin to spell it out.

It's amazing to watch Eddie's mind reflected through his whole body, his feet will tap as he tries to think of a word to use, his head will shake when he can't remember something, muttering to himself until he does.

He finds he watches him just as much as he follows his words scrawled along the page.

He moves closer as Eddie speaks about the battle of Attu and how it inspired a whole D&D campaign and when he does, it seems to catch his attention because he slowly turns his head his way.  

Eddie's nose brushes along his cheek and a breath he cannot hold leaves Steve. He can't stop the strange sound that comes from his throat, strangled then soft.

Surprised by the contact, he pulls back, but all it does is almost bring their faces level. Their eyes can meet now and Steve sees a wanting in Eddie's he understands instantly and so inherently that it burns.

The man's mouth opens and closes, before being left to hang, lips full and pink.

It's inviting, draws him in – without a word he's moving closer, lids lowering.

A group of kids yell loudly to each other as they ride by and the moment falls away, Eddie straightens himself, the soft smile along his face fades away – all that light shifting as he takes Steve in like he's brand new, shining and bright.

He's caught between thinking he's imagined it and still feeling the brush of Eddie's hair along his cheek, visceral and very real.

"So ah, America joined the war in December?" Eddie says, a disarming calmness meets him when Steve doesn't say anything, just continues watching him in a heady haze.

He clears his throat, following along with the out they’re taking. "Yeah, so we started helping the allies in like nineteen forty" he says, even though they both know Eddie already knows that "with like, supplies and stuff." 

~~~~

Steve's fingers grip the steering wheel with the tightness of a learner, in a less than an hour drive he questions his entire life.

When he gets home he's caught between confused and heady, yet surprisingly content in the memory. Still entangled in whatever had moved him closer to Eddie. 

His wide eyes looking down at him, long hair curtained around his face, filtered light catching him through the waves. He hadn't been the only one to feel something and Eddie, he had seemed more confused by Steve, then how close their bodies had been.

Confusion wins out when he finds Hopper sitting at the kitchen bench, his face stern, his police chief's hat on the table.

"Is everything okay?" He looks around, searching for El – slipping into a natural need to protect.

"Sit down for a second" and though it's said softly, Steve knows it isn't a request.

He pulls the chair out across from him slowly, sits down with a mind filled with all the things that could leave Jim's mouth that could hurt him.

"You know Eddie Munson?" Steve looks up, not expecting that question, but wary all the same.

He can hear his father's voice, get out.

"Yes?" 

"You spend a lot of time with that boy?" 

"A little bit" he says, he doesn't mention he runs a club the kids are in, if Hopper is being this way over Eddie being around him, he can't imagine what he'll say if he found that out.

"He comes into my work sometimes, we hang out every now and then" Hopper nods, "there's something about him, I don't like it."

"You hear things around town, see things." He continues and Steve waits for what's next.

What did they say about Eddie? Did they see how he could look at a man – how he had looked at Steve.

His stomach sinks, had someone said something, he thinks of earlier that day. When Eddie had leant over him and Steve had lifted himself up without realising.

How he'd wanted to kiss him.

Right in the middle of a public park.

Did Hopper see it? Did he look at Steve and know? 

Being so close, with Eddie over him, he imagines from angles, from far away, with squinted eyes – it could look like they actually had.

The cruelty of bearing the judgement without any of the joy would have him laughing if he wasn't so scared.

He takes up such a small space here, that as he looks around the room he can easily see himself taken from it, his work vest hanging over the chair, his jumper drying on the rack beside El's favourite shirt.

How easily he could just – not be here.

"I don't like him." He wants to ask why and if the reason he doesn't like Eddie would be a reason he wouldn't want him either. 

But he stays quiet, fear freezes him. "And I don't like you being around him."

He wonders if this is how he loses the man that's been more a father to him in less than a year than his own through his whole entire life.

If he loses this, he's truly alone.

Steve's not even sure himself – what happened and if he has to try and explain it now – he's not sure he could.

He opens his mouth to speak, words unplanned but before he can, Hopper's speaking again.

"Callahan got a call today about a suspected drug deal" Steve's brows creased in confusion, unsure about what this has to do with him.

"At Rottson's park" Steve's eyes snap up, "and when he responded to that call he found Eddie Munson, a known dealer" Jim's gaze captures his "and, you."

He thinks Steve was buying drugs? 

For a single moment he's relieved, before he thinks – what would seem worse to Hopper, buying drugs or wanting to kiss a man?

"It wasn't that," words leave him in a hurry. "I wouldn't, I wouldn't bring anything like that under your roof."

His voice rises "I was helping him with his homework" every part of him is frantic, eyes wide "I swear." 

“I would never –” Hopper's voice hushes him "okay, okay" leaning forward in his chair, not realising what his words would cause. All authority leaves him "son, I believe you" trying to calm and placate, "it's alright."

"I just don't want him getting you in any trouble." 

He cuts him off "he won't" he vows, an oath "Eddie's good." He feels like he's pleading, and he probably is, not wanting to disappoint the man or give up Eddie. "He's a good guy." 

Hopper doesn't speak for a moment, only watches him "pkay, if you say he is, I trust you" his face hardens for a second, before softening again "but if he causes you any problems, I'll –." 

"I know." His lips lift, reminding himself that this is what really caring for someone is. 

Hopper doesn't care about how Eddie makes Steve look, he cares about how he could hurt him.

This isn't a conversation his parents would even bother having with him. There'd only be threats of lost inheritance and words that had Steve feeling like he didn't matter. 

If you meant so little to the people that created you, raised you how could you ever matter to anyone else?

So as uncomfortable as he is, the strange ache in his chest – he smiles. 

His hair's mused by a burly hand and Hopper gets up, picks up his hat, asks him what he wants for dinner and moves on like this conversation is barely a blip.

He watches him walk away, and realises that was it.

Some things don't have to be big, home wrecking, life ruining, he tells himself – deep breaths coming easier.

It doesn't stop him from laying awake that night, trying to figure out when he'd gone from watching a boy fill a burger with a mountain of pickles in disgust to imagining his hands in his hair and his lips on his own – all in one afternoon.

Steve had always followed his attractions, flirted and talked to any girl he found pretty, he didn't put much thought into it.

Turns out he didn't put too much thought into it when they were boys either, at least until after he's tried to kiss them.

~~~~

He doesn't sleep, his body curled in the centre of his pull out lounge. He listens as the forest creaks and the people around him sleep. 

Listens as Hopper gets up and goes to work, his car leaving the long road to their home, and as El gets up, as she shuffles around and calls his name.

She walks over when he answers with a wary hum. "Are you –" She pauses when he sits up, hair in disarray "alright?" 

He puts his hands on his knees "yeah." He looks at her, face open in worry, friends don't lie. 

"I think" He sighs, "I'm having boy problems."

El's face constricts in understanding and she comes to sit beside him, her head resting along his shoulder.

"Boys are confusing" she pauses, "and mouth breathers" she says and it draws a laugh from his haggard body, his chest lightens a little.

He sees Eddie sitting on a table in the last light of the sinking sun, smiling at him. "We sure are." 

    🏠🏠

Hopper comes home one day with a new set of keys, he jingles them from where they hang on his finger.

"Get in the car" he calls, El sticks her head out from her bedroom door– alert and ready, recognising what's happening instantly, she bolts past him and out of the house before Steve's even off the lounge.

He understood this day would be soon, even if he'd been pretending it wouldn't. Hopper had been in a good mood lately and Steve knew exactly why, even if he was too afraid to ask.

He follows them out the door, locks the house behind him in a way that feels too final and plants a smile on his face that could fool anyone who looks.

The house is bigger than he expected, it even has a yard, grass freshly mowed and full of flowers.

It looks like a real home, cosier than his parents but certainly more liveable than a cabin in the woods.

When Jim lets El unlock the door, she leaves the keys in the lock as she bounds her way through a small alcove and down into a spacious living room.

Steve watches the light from the open window fill the room with life as Eleven spins in its centre.

They get a tour – an actual dining room, a kitchen with two sinks and bench space for making meals larger than a packet of cereal and cheese sandwiches.

Hopper’s got a room with its own bath, something he seems happy about and El has a space with light yellow walls and a window that opens into the big green backyard "perfect for a dog" The old man tells her with a wink.

There's a room by El's and he wonders if he's bought a big enough house to cater for Will and Joyce one day, maybe even Jonathan if he doesn't get a place of his own.

He's checking out the bathroom when someone calls for him "come with me" Hopper nods his head, Steve follows him further down the hallway. They pass the laundry and step down into a room almost as big as the master bedroom, probably an old games room or something. 

He glances around at the half wood panelled walls "I figured you'd want your own privacy." Steve blinks in confusion. "Better get you an actual bed though, huh." The man continues.

"This is for me?" He asks, voice unsteady.

Hopper's brow pulls together as his eyes flicker over his face, something hardens in his gaze. The older man seems to deflate before he pulls himself together.

"Shit." He places a hand on his shoulder, brings his face down to his. "Hey" He calls softly, trying to catch his eye.

"Steve, you were always coming with us."

He feels his body curl into itself without his control. "Kid, I wasn't going to leave you behind or kick you out." Steve hyperventilates, breaths coming too quick, even though Jim's already told him he doesn't have to go. 

Somehow it hits him harder. Weeks spent waiting, dread building – looking at one bedroom flats in the paper on his break, in his car, at night by flashlight. 

He's being pulled into arms that engulf him completely, the police chief's hands patting along his back gently. "I said, you stay as long as you need, son" said into his hair "I meant it."

And Steve needs to stay, needs the gruff good mornings Jim utters out before his first cup of coffee or El fighting to stay awake so they can finish their movie.

"El needs you Steve, hell – so do I."

It never occurred to him that he might be needed too, wanted even.

When he's released from the man's hold he wipes at his eyes, it feels like that night he'd shown up on his doorstep, scared and looking for a safe place.

"This is my room?" He asks, feeling as unsure as he sounds.

"This is your room" Jim tells him, no judgement. Like most things the man says it is merely a statement of fact.

"If you ever decide you want to move out though, the shack is yours" he jokes, giving Steve a choice, to have his own space if he wishes.

But Steve doesn't want space, he wants to be woken up by Eleven early in the morning because she's bored, and watch games with Hopper.

He wants to live in a house with people who come home every night, eat their meals together around the TV, who love him.

"I like your room, Steve" El's soft voice reaches him from the doorway, she steps down when his lips lift, eyes red rimmed and cheeks aching.

"Me too" and as simple as breaking down in an empty room, he finally has a place that he knows is his.

🏠🏠

Steve's giddy for days after, already planning shopping days with El to look for an actual bed, he can't wait to have chested drawers and not live out of a duffel bag and not use every chair in their cabin as a hanger.

His foot taps along to the music, a hum leaving his lips when Robin shakes him from his content imaginings.

"What is Eddie doing sitting around in the car park?" 

He's so mindlessly happy that he doesn’t think before he says "I think we almost kissed." 

Robin turns from where she'd been standing at the open window, the beaming lights from the store fronts 'we're open' sign bright along her back.

He looks up, realising what he's done, how he has been delicately planning on talking it out with her after their last shift for the week, when they can stay up all night and Steve can tell her every thought that's been repeating itself through his mind the last week.

He can't read her face beyond outright disbelief "almost, what?" She takes a step towards him, fumbling words of astonishment "Steve – what?" She pauses a moment, deep breaths leaving her too quickly to actually be giving her lungs oxygen. 

"You have to explain to me" she points her finger to him "word for word, what happened."

~~~~

Eddie stamps out a cigarette as Steve makes his way towards him, no doubt Robin still watches from the window, in support and interest.

Her mind likely still reeling, even after she'd embraced him so tight he felt his throat constrict as he held back tears.

"Can we get out of here?" He asks, he can't play pretend greetings when his heart hammers and his mind makes circles around every indecent thought he's had over the last seven days.

Eddie only nods, Steve doesn't even bother worrying about his own car, just follows Eddie into his van.

"Where do you wanna go?" Steve doesn't look at him, just watches the cars along the main road "anywhere."

He sees Eddie nod in his peripheral, starting the ignition and pulling out in silence.

They park up beside Eddie's trailer, the engine, then the lights turn off and still neither of them have spoken.

"C'mon" He follows mindlessly, though every sense he has is honed onto the man's back as he fiddles with his keys, trying to unlock the door.

As soon as they step inside, Eddie flicks on the lights. Back still to him, when he turns the brightness shows the dejected look on his face, resigned to whatever he thinks Steve will say.

He's braver than him when he asks "You wanna talk about it?" He almost says, about what? Just so Eddie will say it first and he'll know for certain it wasn't something he'd created in his mind.

Even if he's sure he never could have conjured that.

"I definitely want to talk about it" his hesitation loses in the face of his wanting, even as his fear builds. This could ruin everything, he's suddenly aware that this might be the last time they ever speak. 

He tries to take in every part of the man, his dark jeans, ripped and aged and loved. His hair, the way it gets caught in the pins along the collar of his denim vest. 

Even the room they stand in, the bits of Eddie strewn through it, shirts, half used mugs and partly read books – the way it smells like him.

"I'm just not sure how to."

"I'll start," Eddie says, sounding too calm for the itching that lurks beneath his skin. It doesn't match – the way Eddie’s face is set, understanding and clear, all while Steve's feet shift and his eyes flick around the room, almost begging for an escape. He closes his eyes.

"Eddie" He almost chokes, voice pleading "I don't" It's all he gets out, swallowing words he doesn't have planned.

"Can I ask you a question?" The lightness in his voice cuts through and Steve clutches onto it, nodding desperately.

"Could you open your eyes for me?" He squeezes his lids tighter, as he tries to do as he asks, his body betraying him. 

"I know you're freaking out, but I kind of need you to look at me when I ask you my next question." When his eyelids flutter open Eddie's closer, but far enough away that he doesn't crowd him.

Steve's glad for the space, to breathe, to take him in fully – even as he wants to be held, feel Eddie's hands along his back, be folded into his chest.

He wants to rest his head on the open space of skin along his throat, to feel the warmth of him, in comfort, in lust – he isn't sure.

It all swirls into one and he reaches forward, taking that first step. Inviting the man closer into his space. They still don't touch, but Eddie smiles at the movement. 

"Okay" He says, soft enough that it's barely a whisper on his breath "next question."

“Did you want to kiss me?” He asks like he's still not completely sure, even though every second between them leading up to this confirms it. “I feel like I'm going crazy man and I just need to –”

How many times has he almost died? Picked up a bat, ran from Russians, at monsters and thought to himself, it might all end this very moment. If Steve were to die, without telling Eddie how he feels, he knows his last thought would be, why the hell had he not? So he cuts him off “yes.”

Eddie takes a clear breath, chest rising and falling deeply “Can I kiss you now?” 

He moves quickly, Eddie's body sinks into his, lips lingering inches from each other, then hands sweep over him and Steve soars.

His neck is held gently when they kiss.

He flitters between the feeling of Eddie's lips soft and unsure and the grip of his fingers pressing into the base of his hairline.

He reassures him by deepening the contact between them, leans his body in further until their chests lift and fall into each other and when Eddie's lips open in a gasp he gently glides his tongue along his.

His hands come to rest on the sides of Eddie's face, fingers just brushing his scalp. He's met with a groan.

Steve's never kissed so slowly, so cautiously. There's a care and a curiosity he's never experienced. 

He lets his hands drift, fall and trace down arms and hips, he rests a hand there, tracing the jutted bone along his side before he grips and pulls him closer. 

His other hand rests along Eddie's back, playing with the ends of his hair.

The man's breath hitches at the contact and Steve leans back, just enough to watch him – lips reddened. His eyes open slowly, as the hand at his back comes up to follow the line of his jaw.

“That's –” Eddie says as the daze slowly leaves him “do you plan on doing that again?” It draws a laugh from deep within him.

He answers, using his hand on his hip to guide his back against the wall, Eddie lets him, his hands gripping the back of Steve's work vest. Fingers splayed out, thumb just under his chin, trailing down his neck, resting on the man's collarbone.

Neither speak, too taken, every breath and touch is noted, studied. He finds his mouth again, puts a gentle pressure against Eddie's body, he curves his back, lifts the lower part of himself off the wall to meet him.

He's lost in lips, the friction of jeans, their legs tangle and he starts to ache. He pulls back, at odds with the heady feeling wanting to draw him closer.

Steve had been dreading coming here to talk, he'd been glad to not have to use his words. But he knows they have to, Steve needs Eddie to know, “I'm sorry” He untangles from him just enough to take him all in, “this was kind of a surprise for me.” 

“Me too” Eddie chuckles, edges with disbelief “I'm glad I'm not alone” Steve tells him “I've never thought about a guy –” the man's hands still with a light jolt “wait, you, never?” He realises then that he's alone in his epiphany, that Eddie had recognized himself, long before Steve. “you've always liked men?” 

Eddie shrugs “anybody really, nobody mostly” he grabs at a piece of curls and twists it absentmindedly, "you though, you were a surprise.”

“A good one?” His head raises, hopeful as his shoulders dip, there's a part of him that still worries. Eddie reaches for his hand, gently – fingers only just connecting.

“A really good one” he ducks his head “too good, maybe” He watches Eddie's gaze falls to the ground, his whole body cast down “you know, I'm no catch” Steve lets out a noise, it's a strong disagreement and would be embarrassing if it didn't lift Eddie's head, make his lip curl “can't say I agree.” He doesn't fight the urge to place another kiss on his lips, quick and featherweight.

“And you? You sure you're okay with throwing your lot in with a jock?” His laughter tilts “if that's what this is and not just – not something that's going to happen again.”

“Oh, it is and easily" his teeth glint in the low light and Steve almost puts himself back into his arms “plus, it's pretty obvious that you've changed.” His voice softens and he blinks slowly “I thought it was a trick, at first.” He shakes his head “seeing you at the video store” like he's still questioning his own memory “then almost falling out of your car yelling at the kids.”

Steve snorts and the loose grip Eddie has on his hand tightens and twines. “That must have been very attractive” his thumb rubbing circles along his knuckles “is that when you – started to actually think of me as – well” he fumbles around the question, curious about when Eddie’s attraction to him started. “The video store” he says quickly, cheeks reddening. 

“But, yeah when you picked up the kids, that was when I thought that I actually kind of wanted to talk to you.” He laughs “do you know how embarrassing it is to scavenge for crumbs of knowledge from a fifteen year old, about their babysitter?” He chuckles at Eddie's anguish “Rough.” He's poked in the side and he dances away for a second before he brings them closer again.

“I – for me, I think it was when you showed me your tattoos” caring for Eddie, his growing feelings had been playing out in the background, like an old movie you've seen a thousand times, not fully paying attention but still appreciating. Until the day in the afternoon sun came and thoughts of kissing him had seemed to form from his mind from nowhere. 

It had started from the moment he'd raced into the video store. But it had become real, without his notice the day Eddie had bared skin, the etched marks along his body that led to Steve understanding him that little bit more. 

Looking back, it's when Eddie had become real, not a caricature of chaos, so foreign in his behaviour that Steve felt he could never truly know him.

Eddie nudges his side, “hey” And his smile widens and Steve knows whatever he's about to say is going to make him roll his and blush all at once, encapsulating the way he seems to always grab at every part of him “wow there, Harrington” He lowers his voice, a western accent at its edges “all I had to do is show you a bit of collarbone and you're a goner?” 

Steve's hand finds the spot, tracing where he knows the tattoo sits. Eddie shivers under his touch, barely there “maybe” He watches his adams apple as he swallows.

“I got a couch, you know” he says, voice thick. “do you?” His eyes tracing his body before glancing at the furniture behind him, enjoying the way Eddie's face becomes flustered.

He steps them back with ease, Eddie moving with him without question. They fall together, spend the evening with legs tangled, slow kisses and murmured words against each other's skin. “so” He asks into the silence, when everything had started to slow and the stretch between their lips meeting had dwindled and Steve was simply enjoying the feel of their bodies beside one another, tv on, his chest along Eddie's back. “boyfriends?” He asks the question, his bottom lip ghosting along the shell of his ear.

Eddie squirms under the sensation, giggles and Steved wonders if it's because of the sensitive skin or if like him, he's imagining his lips trailing down, leaving kisses from where his neck meets his shoulder.

For a second he's worried he's about to tell him that he isn't in it for the long run, that it's better left unlabelled, then he starts to stutter and Steve knows he's as nervous as he is “I – ah – don't have a boyfriend” he pauses “if that's what you're asking?” 

“Do you want one?” Eddie turns in his arms, breaths fanning along his face “Just between you and me?” He gets it, it isn't exactly safe to be Eddie Munson in Hawkins, Eddie Munzon in Hawkins with a boyfriend? And it being Steve? 

They'll think he's used witchcraft on him or something.

He isn't sure he wants that kind of attention for either of them, there's a moment, one he's sure there will be many of, where he mourns the secrecy of their relationship. That they won't be able to walk together, holding hands like Steve has with any of his other girlfriends. 

“What about our friends?” He asks, he doesn't know if or when he will tell Hopper. But El, the kids – he wants to talk to Robin and say my boyfriend.

“Do yours know, that you're – you know?” Eddie lets out an amused huff “A queer?” 

“We don't really talk about it, but yeah, I've known Jeff since middle school, his brother was in Hellfire before he started college. It's sort of hard for me to hide” he rolls his eyes “anything.”

He doesn't tell Eddie he's glad for it, his openness, his inability to be fake and his refusal to make himself smaller.

“Robin knows, I told her about us almost – well” he points between them, the little room has his fingers brushing along his chest, he lets his hands sit there.

“Okay, that's a start” Eddie reaches for the hand on his chest and holds it “we can start slow Steve” fingers brushing excruciatingly gently along his knuckles. “You and me, this goes wherever we want it too.”

“If we could circle back to the boyfriend thing? I'd like to start there” Steve jests, confident in the answer now. “You have my attention” Eddie grins, already reaching forward to kiss him again.

🏠🏠

He and Eddie find odd places to do his homework, churning over open books together in parks, woods, the back seat of one of their cars. 

He doesn't believe it's really cheating, not when Steve doesn't consider himself that helpful.

But Eddie tells him it helps and if Steve uses reaching over him to read one of his answers as a way to be close, even without really needing the excuse, or to calm his body when he's had to read the same question so many times he starts to get angry with himself, the man would tell him that helps too.

He reads it aloud when Eddie's pen starts to tap and he sees him growing frustrated, hands rubbing at his eyes. He makes a sound of relief, like all he needed was someone to get the words out of his brain to make it clear.

It's a hard day for Eddie – Steve almost feels his sigh as if it were his own when they finally finished his latest English essay. 

“You did good, babe” he turns, a little flustered at the term of endearment or the praise, he doesn't know. He watches as an idea forms along his face “you know, babe” brows lifting, eyes joyous. “tou should be a teacher.” He laughs, but Eddie watches him, the joke he's made becoming serious as his eyes widen and he leans forward in his excitement, hands brushing along his side. “I'm serious Steve, think about it.”

“I don't think so” he splutters, it strikes him strangely, how he sees it so vividly and in the same moment can't imagine he could ever do it. There are so many reasons why Steve Harrington should not be a teacher. “You can't be serious, Eddie” He backs up slightly “I'd be terrible.” 

“You've helped me?” His voice lowers, smile small  “You know, I'm getting C's now” his chest rising a little with pride and Steve's so unbelievably proud to have anything to do with it “and a couple of B's” he huffs and his knuckle runs up and down Steve's bicep as he shifts closer “I think Mrs Frines thinks I'm cheating” his palm falls to his forearm and stays there “I told her I have a tutor,” Steve laughs.

“Think she would be horrified to find out it was me?” He states “what are you afraid of?” Steve doesn't have to search himself for the answer, it sits on the edge of his tongue as if he's been saying the words aloud for all to hear for months. 

“Failing?” There was a time when he didn't care, never sparing a thought to his pride beyond appearance and winning basketball games. Now, there's a shame he knows will burn him if he tries to prove himself and falls short.

“What's so scary about failing?” Eddie reaches up and tugs at the hair behind Steve's ear “take it from a repeat senior” he pauses and he sees the flash in his eyes of a deeper pain and he soothes it with the tracing of the ridge of his brow.

“You love helping, you love kids” he lists, hand still at the base of his neck “they look up to you.”

“I can't imagine what it would have been like for me in middle school if I had a teacher that actually gave a shit, that actually took the time you have to help me, Steve.” 

“I don't feel dumb with you” the hand that had dropped from his face joins the other still linked with Eddie's “you aren’t dumb, Eddie.”

“Look, I'm realising something.” The other man says “it's worse if you don't try.”

  🏠🏠

El is sleeping over at Max's when Jim nudges him, taking the cereal from him to fill his bowl. "El's birthdays coming up, might as well take advantage of her not being around and do some shopping."

"What should we get her?" He asks as he leans against the kitchen counter, making sure to not spill the milk he'd accidentally drenched his cheerios in. "The dog you promised her?" He badgers as he swallows a spoonful of milk.

Hopper's head tilts as he clicks his tongue "I was saving the mutt for Christmas" he mirrors Steve and they eat their simple breakfast standing side by side.

"That for the built up anticipation or your sanity?" Hopper lifts an eyebrow "what do you think?" The man mumbles between chews "God knows the two of you are enough to worry about."

His tones light and Steve should be used to the ease in which Hopper groups them together, himself and El. That he might mean as much to him as she does, his daughter. 

"She's been wanting a skateboard" it's easy to know what she wants, how Max has been teaching her on her own, as their laughter filled the air. 

"And a phone for her room" he's heard her complain enough about having to have private conversations in the middle of the kitchen.

"The skateboard, I can do" then grumbling, "the phone" he waves his hand "I'll think about."

   ~~~~~

They get the skateboard first, find a design that matches the colours of El's favourite shirt. After they get her a new dress for the party because soon they'll have enough space to.

Then Hopper caves and they're on main street trying to find a bright yellow telephone. "You might be her favourite after this" Steve teases. A large hand shoves at him and he follows the gentle force and falls away with a laugh.

He's coming back beside him, lips still lifted when two figures make their way out of the store they've almost passed. He stops, firstly to let them pass, then in shock.

Hopper walks on, not realising Steve's trapped behind him, unable to follow. "Steven" his mother's voice utters, seemingly just as surprised to see him as he is her. The sound halts Jim and he watches him turn, his eyes meeting his before they narrow at the back of his parents heads.

Before he can even speak, a gruff voice speaks for him "Clair, Michael." It's said sharply and his parents watch the imposing police officer come to stand beside him.

His father's smile is tight, but polite, clearly not wishing to be in the situation he is. He doesn't even look at Steve as he speaks "nice to see you sheriff." He puts his hand out to shake and it's obvious he doesn't want to, but his father – always adhering to the social norms and needing to appear to follow them perfectly – knows it would look bad if he didn't.

Hopper, though, does not care what people think of him. He leaves his father hanging there, foolish and awkward. 

The man clears his throat as he puts his hand back to his side, clenched in his pocket. 

Steve wants to laugh, he doesn't even like Hopper and yet he's bothered by the fact that he won't shake his hand. "And how have you been?" He enquires cordially, still refusing to acknowledge him while his mother glances between them stiffly.

She's afraid of a scene, scared of Steve yelling in the street. She doesn't need to worry about that, he has no plans to beg or cry. But he lets her fret anyway.

"Great actually, we're just shopping for my daughter" he watches the confusion flitter across both his parents' faces, his fathers brow pinched. Hopper looks at him, talks to him so his parents can't keep ignoring his presence "your son lives with us.”

Did they never wonder where he had gone?

"He lives with you?" His mother sounds astounded, unable to fathom the idea. "Sure does" it's something he'd usually say with the side of his lips upturned, tone teasing. But now it's hard, there's no hiding how he feels.

He looks at them through the older man's eyes, detached, with a clarity of judgement he could never have as their son.

These are the people who left him, before they decided he was old enough to take care of himself – he was eight – even before they sent him away.

Their lives, as well travelled and rich with food and fancy wines and people who grovel for their money and time, just as he had to as a boy, lacks something his does not. Even with his minimum wage job and no degree.

They'll never know the joy of birthday shopping for someone they love, the anticipation of watching them open a gift, for no other reason than to bring them happiness.

His parents never loved him, they don't even love each other, not like he loves El or Jim or Dustin and Robin. There isn't a pure thing about them.

When his eyes move over them, his father in a suit that he would have had perfectly tailored – standing in front of a mirror for hours staring at his own reflection. His mother with hair perfectly rolled and waved. All that effort, spent only on themselves. 

What a waste of time, what a waste of his own time had been consumed with wanting something from them they didn't even have the depth to give.

He finds his voice then, "Where was I supposed to go? You didn't want me?" He spits to the pavement.

"What did you think I was doing with my life?" His gaze moves from his mother to his father, so like his own in colour– but they look nothing alike, his fathers are angry and vapid "do you even think about me?" He wonders if they would care if he was dead, but he can't ask that, too afraid of the answer.

“If you could just lower your voice” his dad says sternly. He’s only worried about the people passing them, watching them avidly “you're such pieces of shit” there's no eloquence to his words, but he doesn't need there to be. 

All he needs to tell them is the truth, for the first time in his life. He doesn't hide or pretend. “You don't deserve to be my parents.” He keeps his father's eye a moment longer, releasing any hold he's ever had on him. 

He never realised they were the same height until now. How overbearing had he been that he'd never noticed when he was home and so distant when he went away that he could forget.

He brushes past them, keeps on walking down the path and the wind that hits his face is freeing, though his legs feel like they might crumble beneath him. He waits at the end of the street for Hopper, he doesn't ask why it takes him a few minutes to catch up, what he must have said to his parents with that time.

The man only asks if he wants to go home “not yet” His head shakes, trying to ignore all the churning, the repeating of every word said. 

He'd been pretending he had been free of them the moment he stepped through Hopper's doorway. He's trying not to let it ruin anything, the perfect day it had been only fifteen minutes before. “Still got one last gift on the list.”

He can see Jim turning it over, whether it would be better to take him home or let him make his own decisions. 

Steve lifts the edge of his lip and it isn't quite a smile but it gets a nod, he's determined now, he wants to keep making El feel loved, to give her everything she has ever wanted. 

They spend the next hour searching until they find a yellow rotary phone, all bright and sunny.

                     ~~~~

They are half way home when Hopper speaks "our parents really do a number on us, huh?" He continues through Steve's silence, "all their shit packed on top our own."

"Y'know, my parents weren't great either" he recalls, quiet and he knows he's in a memory that he doesn't want but has accepted. "It's why –" he pauses, swallowing what he can see is a deep sadness "when I had Sarah, I swore I'd be a hell of a Dad." 

"When I lost her, I never thought I'd get that again" he's hopeful now, his voice lightening "Then I got El."

He looks over to him, "and you."

"I'll never get to see her grow up" he turns his eyes back to the road "but I'll get to see you both go and –" he pauses, clearly not used to voicing his emotions, "to get to see you" he waves his hand "live your lives."

He tells him simply between changing gears "you couldn't ever disappoint me Steve." 

He nods, "I just want to make you proud" he stammers lowly. Because Hopper is someone he can make proud, unlike his parents who he can't even remember if they ever told him they love him.

The car pulls over, among the trees that guide them home. He turns in his seat as a hand is put on his shoulder and he's spoken to gently, "I couldn't be prouder, Steve."

He doesn't cry this time, but he still feels his lip shake. He reaches for Hopper, across the car console and arms are wrapped around him tightly.

He thought leaving his trophies, old school books and clothes he'd outgrown might have made them miss him, wondering if his mother had sat on his bed, taken an old shirt to her nose and mourned the years she had spent only knowing what competitions he'd won or how he held himself at company work parties. 

His room is likely empty now, no sign he'd ever lived in it – just an impersonal guest room, or the gym his father always said the house needed.

All that sureness he had before comes crashing down, "why don't they love me?" It's a question he's never asked aloud, only repeated to himself before bed, in his childhood home. When there were no sounds of quiet footfalls trying not to wake him – the sound of Hopper clearing his throat in the early morning from down the hall. 

Repeating itself in the back of his mind for years, from when they left him alone for days at a time until the first week he'd spent curled up on an uneven couch in a cabin in the woods.

“I don't know” the man says to him, clear in his inability to understand it. “Some people just don't have it in them, kid” he lets him go only to look him in the eyes “too scared or broken, missing something” His hand keeps a hold of his shoulder “But you don't wear that, okay.”

“All of that's on them.” Then he says something he never thought he'd be told by those he called family "we love you, me and El.” 

“Just in case you weren't sure” he realises he knew, that Jim may never have said it and he would still have been content, just the three of them living their lives together.

 🏠🏠

Hopper hands him boxes from the back of his car, the only real valuable things he'd brought with him. Kept under the old house in the safest place he could find, the weight of the box has him taking note of the name etched along it, Sarah. He looks up, waiting for Hopper to realise what he's given him, eyes wide. 

He feels he's holding something too important, too precious to be in his arms, scared he'll drop it, that he shouldn't be trusted to hold the man's memories of his lost child.

Jim, who'd turned back to the car, looks back when he notices that Steve hasn't moved. He seems to be on the cusp of moving him along, a frown along his face and mouth half open on word yet to be spoken. He takes in his face, fingers clenched tightly around the box, held closely to his chest as if to protect it.

He thinks Hopper might take it from him, from his own realisation of what he's given him or for the way Steve seems to be uncertain, he studies him for a moment, his eyes fond. He taps the box gently, grips his shoulder and then just as softly pushes him along.

“Put her in my room, will you?” He nods, words tender, it feels like being trusted with a world, all Hopper has left of a whole person Steve will never meet. He carries the box slowly, watching every step. When he enters Hopper's empty room he places it in the middle of the carpeted floor, right where the sun comes through the window. He feels like he's standing over a grave or a memoriam. He reads her name again. 

He isn't sure why, but he stays there. He senses Hopper in the doorway behind him, he comes to stand beside him. He hums “think you're right, kid.” He says even though he hadn't said anything “Think it's time to let her get some sun.”

It doesn't take them long to move in after that, Steve's lounge, Hopper's favourite chair. The house is bare, gaps to be filled with things they don't need, but Steve thinks they deserve.

He wants a record table by the living room window and a chair of his own to sit back and watch football. He wants a hanger by the door, where all their coats can be together.

He's never thought about how a home should look, not one that he can pick and choose for himself. Jim tells him he can paint walls and change doors. He circles the place and sees something he can help make and change and build. 

They keep the wood fire burning, heating the half empty rooms, barely filled with their belongings and eating dinner on camp chairs, the ones from the cabin too old and creaking they become fuel for the fire. He rests his takeout on his lap and laughs as tomatoes fall from El's burger. 

Shopping days at second hand shops and department stores, they slowly collect, let things catch their eye, buy trinkets that remind them of each other.

Eventually the place slowly fills and Steve comes home to a house and a room that feels both shared and his own.

They have a bowl by the door for their keys and a picture of Sarah, smiling and welcoming. When Hopper gets home and he's sitting at the kitchen table helping El with her homework, he'll place his sheriffs hat on her head and then pass Steve on the way to the fridge, ruffling his hair as he ducks his head with a laugh he can't help but let escape.

     🏠🏠

They sit together quietly, El has her eyes closed as she lifts a pillow from the lounge. It's been slow, her face constricts as if she's physically lifting the weight.

There's a bag of crushed coke cans behind the house. Every day she practises a little, having promised everyone to take it slow. He can tell it isn't easy, months without use have worn away at her strength. But she's happier, certain and Steve watches in wonder.

She will always amaze him, even if he's used to floating objects and the TV being turned on without a controller.

“I'm proud of you” he tells her when she opens her eyes, handing her a tissue in case of a bloody nose. 

It's quiet between them, sitting on the floor across from each other, Steve watching as vigil, just in case. Another promise, just for now, Hopper had said, just until she was stronger and they felt safer.

El's lip twitches, a smile easily lifting the corners of her mouth. The pillow floating beside him, hits him across the back of the head, light but still sending his hair in ridiculous directions. His hands go to fix it on instinct, pushing it back in place, fingers already lifting it up for volume.

A laugh bursts out from El, who's one of the lucky people to have witnessed his hair routine, has seen him when his hair is wet and flat after a shower.

He stills, a huff leaving him, letting his hair fall where it chooses

“You happy?” She asks “are you?” He responds, he thinks he knows both their answers and he tells her with his laugh, letting it lift his cheeks until the corner of his eyes crease. 

This time El's holding the pillow when she hit him with it and a giggle escapes her until she watches him grab another from the lounge, powder blue and fluffy enough that Steve often uses it on afternoon naps, when he's reminded of safety and acceptance on a two seater sofa.

Her eyes widen for a moment, watching him with an added vigilance, then her grin turns sharp and they grip at their pillows like guns in holsters, two cowboys waiting for the other to take the shot.

He makes the first move and El squeals as she turns tail and runs, finding safety through the archway into the kitchen. He finds her behind the counter.

She bounces between two feet as she watches him, he lifts a brow and pauses for a moment then he's making his next move, he gets a hit in as she turns, her back taking the harmless brunt of feathers. She turns quickly and his arms are still too low to protect his face.

Her laughter gets louder at the shock on his face, she gets another hit in before she's running off again, they make circles around the house, sock feet slipping on carpet and slate.

They chase each other until their breath comes too fast and they both fall back onto the lounge in an unspoken truce.

He can add pillow fight to his list of things El should have experienced long before now.

“Who do you think won?” He asks as air finally fills their lungs, she barely turns her head, side eyeing him. “Draw” She says in a way that means she's humouring him, that she feels victory was actually hers. He takes the ceasefire. “Draw” he repeats as El switches on the TV.

                                              🏠🏠

Steve thinks that he may never fully understand Eddie – but it isn't an upsetting thought. 

He learns he finds his comfort in touch as much as Steve does in reassurances through word. He likes – does everything loud, his music, his conversation, the expressions on his face. And what he can't know comes from Eddie's endless spontaneity, he holds onto, enjoying the surprises.

He watches him eat mixes of meals that would make him sick and happily kisses him after, laughs when Eddie tells him to try it before he judges.

He'll blurt out a thought so particular he wonders if he's been thinking about it for weeks or if it's only just flitted across his mind.

Then he'll forget where he put his keys even as he explains an idea for a campaign he's been creating for months in detail, still yet to write any of it down. 

Mostly Steve just sits back and watches, then in moments where he can't help himself he will reach forward, place a hand on the small of his back or a kiss to his hairline.

They bond over feeling misplaced and lost, over  parents who don't love them like they should. 

Sitting in Steve's backyard on a sunny afternoon, he almost breaks the day he tells him about running into his parents for the first time since they kicked him out. It snowballs into a babbled and half mumbled account of his lonely childhood and he's honoured when Eddie responds in kind. 

He knows Eddie was raised by his uncle, his parents, a topic he purposely left unspoken. Steve can't blame him, he'd barely mentioned his own.

When he learns that his mother is gone, lost to an illness she couldn't afford to fight, that child services took him from his father, a man Eddie tells him was only that in name – who left him alone as a small child for hours at a time to drink and fight – Steve has to stop himself reaching out to end his painful words with touch. 

But it's the first time Eddie shares this part of himself and he looks like he'll crack if Steve moves any closer. So he doesn't and Eddie sits there, still in a way he's never seen and tells him how he's always chasing his mother's ghost, trapped in his fathers shadow. Scared of how he misses someone he can barely recall and can't forget the one he wishes he could.

“I look like him, you know?” He admits with a whisper, as if that makes him guilty of a crime “What if I'm just like him?” It's so easy to tell him he isn't. So he lists all the things he likes about him, especially the things he knows Eddie doesn't like himself. 

He can tell he's only half believed, even in his shock that Steve sees him this way. Slowly, the wideness of his eyes shutter and he looks at him with a glossy half lidded gaze. A small smile grows and he knows for the moment Eddie's choosing to let Steve's words sink into him.

A quiet “thank you for telling me” slips from his lips, it's a strange thing to feel grateful for, knowing the worst thing that's happened to someone, but he's warmed that Eddie feels safe enough to tell him. He follows it by finally bringing his arms around him and Eddie falls easily into his chest.

How much more can you understand someone? Fears laid bare, the way they laugh, the things they love – the intimate knowledge of how their body feels pressed against yours?

🏠🏠

“What am I doing Robin?” 

He looks around him, to a room he could quite easily spend the rest of his life stocking, smiling to the ringing of the door's bell. 

When Robin goes, when the kids leave, will this be enough?

“I have a home, I have you, the kids” he pauses, a life full of people, “Eddie” it's enough, but is it all he could have? “But what am I doing?” He has more opportunities now than he's ever had and a belief in himself to do something. 

Steve can't leave, someone has to make sure Hawkins is safe, guarded and everyone else, they've got promise that he'll never have, he's okay with that, knows who he is. 

But all that future, watching it unfold, he wants just a little bit of it for himself.

“I'm happy” and it's true “but maybe, I can be –” Robin finishes for him when he pauses “happier?” He looks at her with fond exasperation, continues “and I'd be okay if I don't, you know” too caught up in needing to get out his thoughts to rebuke his friend.

“What if I can –” this time he can't tell if she cuts him off for her own amusement or to try and rescue him from his repetitive spiralling “be more?”

“You always know what I'm thinking, huh?” She rolls her eyes, a practiced art between them and he's already playing his part with a long suffering scoff that ends with a small smile “maybe I'm just fluent in –” this time he speaks before she finishes, knowing what will be her next word “Dingus?” She raises a brow, enjoying their quips.

The lightness breaks and his uncertainty returns “Eddie” remembering how sure he had been, said so casually, not even questioning if Steve was good enough “he –” he shakes his head “do you think I could be a teacher?”

Robin just stares, takes him in, head tilting. It's something she does, eyes darting quickly when she's taking in information, formulating and planning. “Huh” Is all she says for a moment, with a quiet realisation “yeah, I could.”

He lets out a breath, Robin's never lied to him, always told him the truth, trusted him with the most important parts of herself. If she says he can, then there's a chance.

“You don't think I'm, maybe” he pauses, busies his hands with a pile of empty video cases “Not smart enough?” Nancy used to help him with his essays, it made him better, made him want to try. But it still stung every time he felt proud, handing his thoughts over to her, then her face would twitch at the end of the first paragraph and he knew it still wasn't good enough.

Robin hasn't answered him, and that feeling of being seen wholly and still found lacking starts to build, she's rethinking it, realising he's right. Steve Harrington couldn't teach anyone anything.

When he turns her face is pinched, nose scrunched and she's judging, but it's the face she makes when she doesn't agree with what he's said. When she's waiting him out, to cave and admit what he said was stupid, it's a little bit ironic.

“Remember when we got this job?” She tilts her head, gives him a moment to relive it “when you said your favourite star wars movie was the one with the one with the little bears?” He isn't sure this is helping build his confidence. He waits, Robin often takes time, confuses you then brings you back in before she gets to her point.

“Yeah?” Like with Eddie, he's captured by the multifaceted turn of her thoughts. “And now? You act like you don't know anything but last week I heard you talking out logistics and tactics with Dustin.” 

“D&D is hardly the same as, like math” he flings his arms “maybe not, but it did help them survive for like three years against a giant human limbed spider?”

He doesn't know what to say to that, so he lets his hands fall to his hips, feet and eyes planted firmly to the floor. “Or maybe, I did?” He could say, but the moments passed and he knows she'll probably bring up how they spent most of their time keeping him alive after what would most certainly be multiple concussions.

“You think you don't know things, but you do” she makes sure she finds his eye line, makes him keep eye contact, and doesn't let him look away. “You just forget” His face mustn't hide how he doesn't believe that helps his case. Her voice softens, it feels a little like the first time they ever spilled their secrets to each other. As if Robin is letting him in something that will change everything.

“If you do this, even if it's just to see if you'd even like it” reminding him that jobs, school – these decisions aren't life ending. Steve forgets at times that not every decision leads to his life being threatened. “You might be one of those people who has, like a purpose in life.” He lets a small smile slip “gross” she lets out an airy laugh “right?”

He can go to college, fail or succeed and he doesn't need to feel the same tension, same adrenaline spike as if he's fighting for his life.

You would think spending every summer pitted up against monsters would make this so easy, that nothing would matter by comparison but that hasn't been the case for Steve, not completely. It's made him recognise what's really important and what things to let fall away.

But it's also inconsistent, confusing, coming and going from nowhere. He feels a stab of panic crossing a road or taking too long to decide what he wants in the grocery aisle has his palms starting to sweat and his heart racing.

He always manages to calm himself down, a mantra in his head he repeats: you're safe, safe, safe. The word loses meaning, sounding strange in his head until his muscles loosen.

He's safe now, right here with Robin – to make a decision, to not feel the unknown pressures, to plan for his future.

“My SAT was shit” he reminds her, fighting against possibilities said out loud – a natural fear building with the reality “okay, so you go to community college?” Like it's the easiest thing in the world “Work here while you study” like she has faith in him, as if he could do it as simply as breathing “get credits, transfer.” 

She's already planning it out for him, it makes it easier to imagine, her grin lifts, crazed at its edges and he's somehow grateful for a near death experience for bringing them together “you know, Indiana university isn't far from here either.”

“It isn't” Wary of actually picturing himself driving out to campus, still getting to stay at home, filling his time with something other than car rides and video tapes.

Robin's brow quicks, her tone dry in teasing “you'd have to stop swearing at children” he's quick to defend himself “they're teenagers” fifteen and an absolute pain in his ass “and they deserve it” he reasons “I'll make sure to tell them next time you try to give them a curfew or that they can't have friends over until they finish their homework.”

He flicks at her arm, she ducks away dramatically and in his preoccupation, shoves him from his spot leant against the counter. He lets himself tip, just for the way Robin rolls her eyes and tells him to grow up.

🏠🏠

They're hanging out in the carpark after his shift, leant along the side of Eddie's van, the door slung wide open as Robin lazily rests in the back with a packet of skittles at her side, trying to pick out the orange ones before she pours the whole bag into her mouth. She moves between being kind and sharing, placing them into the open palm of one of their hands and throwing them at their heads. 

Eddie, beside him – close enough for Steve to feel his movements, brushing against him to evade projectile candy. 

Cars drive past along the main road, music and cigarette smoke coming from the open windows.

He reaches out to right Eddie, who had tripped on his own shoe trying to catch a waywardly flung skittle in his mouth, a smile growing steadily like it always does when they're together. His hands trail gently over his shoulder as he lets him go – he looks up, no particular reason, maybe the subconscious familiarity of the sound of the car  and there's Hopper, elbow leaning against the open window, driving just a few miles slower than the cars around him.

He stops, stills his body as if moving will hide them. He knows they're friends, has begrudgingly respected it, but he's never seen them together, not this close. Not in a moment where Steve doesn't feel like he's hiding, even in the day's light and the town milling around them. 

He feels as though he's been caught, given away clues with his smile, that Hopper could see the softness in his eyes from the road.

The man lifts his lips, throws a broad hand up in recognition, passing too quickly to really say anything. He half expects him to pull into the carpark, drag him by the ear into the back of his car and explain why he can never see Eddie again, but he doesn't, just keeps on driving. 

Eddie and Robin don't notice why he's left them for a moment, Eddie taps at his cheek, his name said high pitched and loud to grab at his attention. “You good?” He nods as Eddie's hand drops, the back of it grazes down his arm, a light grip of his wrist and he lets go.

It's enough to reassure him, bring him back, he puts his hand out to Robin, lets her disgruntled grown pull a snide remark from him as she gets up, complains about having to share and pours from the quickly emptying bag into his hands.

Eddie laughs and he leans into him again, just for a second, his fear leaving him mostly, just a small fear that comes and goes, but mostly stays sitting in the back of his mind until he gets home.

~~~~

Nothing has changed when he gets home, his things still scattered about, all their shoes by the door he discards his own with a practised flick as he makes his way down the hall and into the living room. 

Hopper and El are sitting in their usual spots and he flops into his seat and joins them. The night goes on as usual and he almost forgets, it isn't until after dinner, when he and El are almost finished washing the dishes and she's bounded out of the room at the sound of the opening of She-Ra Princess of power and left him to the last of the plates that Hopper brings it up.

He'd sat at the dining room table, had been listening to their chatter about school and work, adding his own complaints about calls and the townsfolk that annoy him. The day's newspaper in his hands. The crossword half finished, asking Steve about movie questions he had no clue of. Happily scrawling away when he said, not even looking up.

“If you're going to keep seeing this kid, then I wanna meet him” it takes him barely a second to realise they are talking about Eddie, waiting all evening for him to bring it up.

They have met, he almost utters, turning as a dish slipped from his hand into the water – the man must read his face “outside of warning him he'll end up in the back of my car one day if he isn't careful.”

“Alright” he pauses “just – give him a chance? Okay” Hopper hums, but nods. “The chance is up to him, but alright.”

🏠🏠           

They stand by the door, “are you sure about this?” He asks, “you don't have to, you know” Eddie gives him a look. “He asked to meet me, Steve” his eyes pleading, resigned and fearful, fluttering from him to the door “how can I say no to that?”

“I've seen you turn down authority a thousand times” Eddie's hands find their way into the pockets of his denim jacket “yeah, but this is your –” he blinks, as confused by the relationship between the sheriff and his boyfriend as Steve is. 

“I might fuck this up” Eddie's jacket pulls around him “I will fuck this up” he leans into him, “you know that right?” He reaches for the keys in his pocket, but doesn't unlock the door. There is a chance this goes wrong, Steve can't pretend they'll get along perfectly straight away and everything will be fine and perfect. 

But he'd made Hopper promise to be nice, and he hopes that he'll be enough to keep them from ruining a tentative acceptance of the other. “You won't fuck this up.”

“But” he talks quietly “look, one word and we go” It's the wrong thing to say, doesn't calm Eddie, if anything his body seems to shake, his voice rising in pitch even as his volume lowers “go? The man could shoot me!”

“He's not gonna shoot you” Steve placates drily “he said he wouldn't.” 

“Oh, yeah?” Eddie says sharply “he specifically said he won't shoot me?” His head shaking “pretty sure he doesn't need a gun to kill me, Steve.” 

He shouldn't laugh, not when he's just as scared as Eddie, not when he wants to calm him, but there's something so normal, that fear of meeting someone's parents. He's never really had that, Nancy was the only one to actually meet them. Just a few dinners here and there, it had only taken a pep talk in the car before for Nancy to completely charm them.

She had been perfect, her outward image exactly what they wanted, his father had called her a keeper and Steve had felt how he genuinely meant it. It was a relief to finally have something he'd chosen for himself aligned with his fathers.

Eddie though? His parents would have sneered, made comments that wouldn't even welcome them through the door. Hopper isn't like his parents, doesn't care if you have a good job or what zip code you live in. But that doesn't mean he'll approve, his concerns already laid out for Steve.

He's grateful for the honesty and even though there's a wariness that the man will completely open his home to Eddie, it's a difference that makes all the terrible scenarios in his mind worth their excruciating vividness, just for the chance of Hopper to know Eddie as he does.

Not a threat, not dead weight. A whole person worth knowing, words just as sarcastic and cutting as the old man, with a matching distrust of the world and a loyalty that has to be earned but once given is almost impossible to lose – that makes Steve better, happier. 

“Okay?” He turns, kissing Eddie right there on the porch. It's short, barely a peck but it's where anyone can see. It's a confirmation of his affection and it's when Eddie leans into him, following his lips when they pull apart, that centres him “okay.”

He pulls his shoulders up, from the corner of his eye he watches as Eddie takes his hands from his shoulders, sweaty palms wiping against his jeans.

Jim is opening the door before the keys are in the lock “Edward” He says, gaze honing in specifically on the boy. Eddie clears his throat, but still reaches out to grip the man's hand “it's ah, Edmund actually” He looks to Steve for guidance, protection “Is that right?” He nods his head along “yeah, I'm like the seventh or something.”

“Funny” Hopper clicks his tongue “I'm the third James.” Dinner is awkward, it feels like it goes on too long. Eddie's stuck between stuttering answers to endless questions and biting back comments that he barely manages to keep in.

Hopper for his part, seems to be enjoying himself. Even when Eddie is refrained and respectful and when he lets a sarcastic word slip. The one thing they seem to agree on is Steve and both accept that they are here for him. So when they notice his eyes darting between them, his hand clenched around his fork they both seem to give a little and the conversation slips into something that lets Steve take a breath in that actually fully fills his lungs.

Hopper asks after Eddie's uncle and they are both surprised to find they know each other beyond casual acquaintances. They used to frequent the same bar, some days they still do, when sports games are better watched amongst a crowd and with an endless beer tap.

Hopper seems to like the way Eddie talks about his uncle with respect, nodding along as his boyfriend accidentally lets out small vulnerable details of himself. How school is hard and the trailer they live in has a leak they haven't gotten around to fixing yet.

Later in the evening, the old man makes a comment about not having the TV volume up to loud cause he's planning to have an early night. He leaves them there, taking their long forgotten plates to the sink on his way out.

He doesn't tell Eddie he has to leave, doesn't make a comment about their friendship, just traipses down the hallway with a lazy goodnight and a groan as he cricks his neck.

He looks at Eddie, who seems as confused and wide-eyed as he is to have made it through the night unscathed.

“Wanna watch a movie?” He follows him with a cautious nod, eyes still locked on the hallway Hopper just disappeared into “I'm still alive, yeah?”

~~~~

The next morning, Steve wakes up late to the smell of cooking bacon. Eddie had left late in the evening – they didn't want to push it, so just before midnight with only the edges of their hands touching, pinkies linking for just a second they'd said goodnight.

Hopper is in the kitchen when he trails into the room with a yawn, rubbing at his eyes, he's barely sat down, just about to let out a mumbled mornin’ when the man speaks.

“Poor kid was really freaking out” he says as he turns around, grease covered spatula in his hand, seemingly halfway through a conversation with himself that he's been waiting on Steve to wake up for to continue “actually felt a bit sorry for him” Though he doesn't sound like he actually does “oh, really? Was hard to tell with all the light threatening.”

Steve's sarcasm has always been a little bit more biting when he's still waking up, Hopper breezes over it without a care.

“Well he passed, if that makes you feel any better” without even mentioning there'd been a test. “If you want to hang around here, it's alright with me” he doesn't mention that it might not be alright with Eddie. 

“Could you not make him fear for his life next time?” Hopper huffs, as if it's an insult to even imply he was working that angle, he turns back at the sound of sizzling to flip the slowly cooking meat.

“What made you change your mind?” He asks, still apprehensive, but curious and content enough to ask “aside from him taking a punch for Will?” Hopper smiles, mischievous and approving “well that definitely helped.” 

“I heard you guys, out front” he pauses for a moment, worried he'd seen or heard more than Steve is ready for, he makes no signs of recognition that he saw a kiss “you mean when you were eavesdropping?” Jim puts his arms up in defence. “Yeah, okay” he admits easily “when I was eavesdropping.”  

“He was scared, it's a good thing” he continues as Steve frowns, explaining himself at his concern “he cared.” He pauses “anyone who stands in front of a fist when he knows where it's swinging and wants their friends' family to like them – well I gotta respect that.”

He grins, doesn't even pretend it's not because Hopper's called them family again, that he likes Eddie enough to welcome into his home. “Should I tell him you said you respect him?”

“Don't even think about it.”

🏠🏠

Max and El want to spend an afternoon at the skate Park, everyone comes, Erica even brings her roller blades, laughs gleefully as Lucas falls from Max's board. 

Jonathan and Nancy sit in the sun on the old rusted bench that's been there long before the cement and steel were poured and laid. It doesn't bother him, not like it used to, even the faint echo of loneliness just from wanting someone to want him as much as they do is gone.

Eddie's next to him, yelling at Dustin as he pulls at the grass beneath them. 

He isn't listening to what they're saying, too caught up on the sad look stretched across Will's face, sitting along the top of the halfpipe. He follows the direction of his gaze until it lands on Mike and El, they stand under a large sycamore tree, away from everyone and clearly unhappy.

Mike's long arms swing around in front of him and El's face is set in a way he doesn't like, arms folded and her body leaning into itself. Only the jut of her chin shows her scorn. He wants to march over there and ask what's wrong. He doesn't, he knows El can stand up for herself. His job is to keep an eye on her, check in with her later when they're alone, just to make sure whatever's happened doesn't follow her to sleep.

He lets Eddie pull him into his conversation, inviting him to join in on his teasing Dustin. He keeps watch from the corner of his eye as El stalks off, clearly half way through Mike speaking. He can hear the faint sound of him calling her name.

She walks over to Max, picks up her skateboard and a little bit of the tenseness in him eases when he sees Max check in on her with a quick squeeze of her hand.

The rest of the day washes over his worry, Robin chatting away with Eddie.

It isn't until later as he's coming out of the public bathroom and Mike's going in that the words fall from his mouth before he can stop them. The thought had been building in his mind every time El had come home from a date sadder than when she'd left.

“You okay?” Mike looks at him like he has no right to ask that question, it triggers an annoyance in Steve that only a kid you've watched grow up can.

“Look, I don't know what's going on between you and El, but I think you could treat her better” he knows he's being too direct, will probably scare the kid away or start a fight if he doesn't shut down on him. 

“You're right, you don't know” he sighs, he really shouldn't have started this here, their friends on the other side of the building. El would probably yell at him before handing out a week of silence and slamming doors if she finds out, but it's too late now. “Okay, came on a bit strong there, my bad.” Mike still looks at him like he'd rather he stopped talking or alternatively, stop existing.

“I saw you fighting and I'm worried” he tacks on lamely “about both of you” Mike rolls his eyes in disbelief “we weren't fighting.”

He angles his head, eyebrows lifting in disbelief “kind of looked like you were, man” he tries to keep the conversation from becoming loud enough for the others to hear “it's fine, lots of couples fight” not wanting either of them to think it's normal to be so at odds all the time, he adds “maybe, just not as much as you guys do.”

Mike's face twists nervously, a little paranoid and hurt “is that what El's saying? That we fight all the time?”

“She doesn't need to, I have eyes.” He sees the second Mike decides to be on the attack, instead of the defense “why are we talking about this? Why are you talking to me about this?”

“Because you're both upset and as I said, I'm worried about you, too.” They aren't as close as Steve is with Dustin and Lucas, he and Mike have never fully gotten past the pipeline from sister's boyfriend to an unattached annoying adult telling him what to do – not that he ever really listened anyway.

But they've been through a lot, even without that, he's Nancy’s little brother and El does care for him, so that means Steve does too.

Mike doesn't appreciate Steve's support because he aims his words like a direct hit of his sister's handgun “maybe we should talk about your relationship, huh?” He does not need Mike completely losing it “My relationship?” There's a quiet after Mike's scoff that's surprisingly scathing.

“With Eddie!” He waves his hands around “How you're all –” for a second he wonders if a slur was about to leave Mike's mouth “yeah, what about it?” He seems surprised by how quickly Steve admits it, his brow scrunching.

“Wait, are you actually?” Steve hadn't really planned to tell anyone yet, but it isn't a secret either “if you have a problem with it, spit it out now” Mike stares in shock, eyes childlike for a moment before he's riling himself back up again.

“I don't even know why he likes you.” His voice is pitched high, but it trembles like he knows he's losing a battle, to stay angry – something in Mike is pulling and pushing and he's fighting it.

He thinks he can forgive the petulant way he speaks when he's had to do so many things a boy his age shouldn't, acting out is a reminder that he's still a child – a teenager, still growing and changing. It doesn't mean he can't tell him he's being an ass.

“What's going on?” Mike is on the edge, looking at him like an animal unsure if a reaching human hand is there to help or harm.

“El's being weird and Will's being weird and I don't know what I did?” Panic still in his voice and the clinching of his jaw.

"It's just hard, okay! I keep – there's just – I don't know." He shakes his whole body, trying to rid himself of the strange feeling "sometimes I just want to hang out with my best friend" his eyes drift everywhere but Steve, whether due to his discomfort or from being trapped in his own conflict “and he was gone and then we thought he was dead! And he hasn't been the same and things were just starting to feel normal again!”

"But I love El and now we can go out and actually have dates and –" He waves his hands.

"I get it, I mean it's been hard sometimes figuring out hanging with Robin and Eddie." Both are pretty easy going, neither demanding his time. But Steve's spent a year now strapped to Robin's side with duct tape and nightmares "a lot of the time we just all hang out together."

"We do," he explains, rushed, like it isn't helping "and with everyone else and – " Mike looks at him in frustration, begging him to understand. "I feel like I'm choosing" his voice breaks a little "like it's one or the other." Steve is starting to realise this situation may not be the same as him trying to balance Robin and Eddie, the other only letting out a grown or a wave of their hand when he tells them he's seeing the other.

"Every time Will asks me to go to hang out, if I have a date with El" Mike's shoulders drop "he looks so sad" he flicks his eyes closed for a moment, reliving his friend's emotions "I – I hate it." 

"I hate making him feel that way" his shoulders hunch "I never wanna make him feel that way again" he doesn't ask what he means by again. 

Mostly because it isn't his business and secondly because if he speaks Mike might stop, he won't get this out and he thinks he needs to, that he has nobody else he can say the words to.

Dustin and Lucas are too close, he can't imagine he wants to have this conversation with his sister. He takes Mike in, as he is now and lets the years slip away until he's looking at him for who he is now, hair at his collar and legs lanky.

They stand about the same height and Steve realises that as long as some of his days feel, the years have come so quickly. He wonders if Mike feels the same, that he's grown into his long limbs too quickly. 

"Is that – do you feel that way?" His words losing their judgemental edge, he's asking for help now, hoping Steve has answers "with Robin and Eddie?"

He's honest, “Not exactly like that” Mike groans “of course you can't help me” he takes it in stride “have you spoken to either of them about this?”

“No! I don't want to make it awkward or – or weird” he speaks fast, luckily Steve's been around Robin and Eddie enough to keep up “and El and I already – I don't want to make it worse” he starts to pace, like he's forgotten Steve is even there “and Will, I don't want him to ever think I don't want him around” he stutters “I always want him –” he takes a deep breath, eyes wide.

Steve has to keep his own face straight, not show his surprise. He thinks he knows what's going on here, but he isn't sure if Mike does or if he does, if he's ready.

“Okay” he puts his arms up “take a breath” he makes his voice gentle enough for his words to break through without Mike putting his walls back up “I think, you might need to ask yourself, why it's so hard for you to find a balance between El and Will.”

He approaches his next question with the expectation that Mike might never speak to him again “and maybe why it sounds like you naturally put Will above anyone else.” Mike's face darkens “he's my best friend, he could have died!” 

Maybe it's just that, Mike going through the loss of a friend, even believing him dead. So now he wants to hold onto Will, keep him safe and close.

But there's something else in Mike's eyes, the way he holds himself that's screaming for Steve to stop poking – desperate for him to stop asking questions. 

He doesn't push, stands down, he thinks he's said enough for Mike to churn over. “Yeah, you're right, you've known Will your whole life, I can't imagine what it must have been like.”

Mike only nods, frown still in place “I do hope you and El sort it out, you should tell her how you feel.”

He says something he's said to Lucas, to Dustin, even to Will and realises a little guiltily that he's never said them to Mike “I know it might, like kill you too, but if you ever need to talk – I'm here.”

He isn't answered but at least he's said the words, Mike pulls himself together with a hand through his hair, feet shuffling awkwardly now that he's let out his pent up thoughts. “I really do need to use the bathroom, okay” he looks at him with a dipped chin “can I go now?”

Steve steps out his way, letting him pass by even though he could've gone around him, when he comes back he sees Eddie, sitting beside Will. He's moving in that eccentric over the top way he does when he's trying to get a reaction. It works because a smile reaches Will's forlornly set face and Steve knows that Eddie's been looking out for him.

He doesn't ask Eddie when they're driving back to his place later, he only asks from the passenger seat quietly “Mike and Will” his boyfriend perks up in a way that's attentive but not surprised.

“Do you think they're like us?” Eddie looks at him for a second before looking back to the road “I hope they get to be.” He takes his hand across the console, fingers gripping gently “me too.”

 🏠🏠

“Tell Jeff I said hi” Steve teases when Eddie tells him he'll be late for band practice if he doesn't leave soon. They'd spent half the day hanging out in Steve's backyard, enjoying the sun, and each other's company, laid out lazily on the grass.

“He's actually grown kind of used to you” Eddie shrugs “you've worn him down” it had taken Eddie's friends a while to get used to Steve's presence, uncertain and perplexed it had been months of sticking around when picking up the kids on Friday afternoons and Eddie's strange approval of him for them to even acknowledge he was there.  

“Hey, maybe you'll get a hello back” Steve chuckles “I'll take it” he wanted Eddie's friends to like him, he's not sure they ever will, so he's settled on acceptance. 

He doesn't know what he's told them, yet to discuss who he wants to come out too, but he figures they must have an inkling because they've slowly started to single him out, meet his eye – Garret even teased him about Dustin last Friday.

Eddie's grin had been wide and Steve was just happy to be included, to not be a strain on such important relationships in his boyfriend's life.

“Bye, Edmund” Jim, calls over his shoulder, barely paying attention as he grabs a beer from the fridge. “Bye, James” Eddie responds cooly, over the weeks since their dinner they've started a back and forth where they aggravate each other, smirks and laughter hidden.

“Do you think I've won him over yet?” He asks “sure” Eddie laughs and Steve glances back as they move towards the doorway, when he sees neither El or Hopper he leans forward pressing a light kiss to his lips “later, sweetheart” Eddie whispers, still close enough that his breath fans along his face. 

He likes to say it as a joke, mocking the perfect suburban couples around them, but it still makes Steve's insides soft and he thinks Eddie knows it, now they say it so often it's starting to feel sincere, even though they try to hide it in voices and pitches different to their own.

They pull away quickly and he watches a moment at the open door as Eddie waves out his window and drives away.

“What do you want for dinner?” Hopper asks as Steve comes to sit on his own lazy boy on the other side of his old lounge. He shrugs unbothered “what's in the fridge?” The man shrugs, “think I saw an onion.”

~~~~~~

Steve's making lunch later in the evening for his shift the next day when Hopper finds him. He lingers by the kitchen door, stands there a little too long before clearing his throat. 

His presence has a tangible weight and he instinctively knows it's serious, a forced understanding naturally born from years of counting on each other to survive. 

He's mulling over his words as he watches him wrap his cheese and ham sandwiches.

“Relationships can be tough” Steve turns, confused, thinking he might have misheard. He waits as he steps into the room, leaning along the cabinet across from him. “And in this town.” Still feeling like he's missed some vital part of the conversation “yeah?” He responds uncertainly, unsure of what's happening. 

He wonders if this is about him and Joyce. If Hopper is trying to tell him something before breaking it to El. “Especially when it's not like everyone else's” he hums, worried about the only stable adult relationship in his life.

Then Hopper stumbles over his words “you know, if you – if he and you” he clears his throat. When their eyes meet, the clarity in the man's gaze is like being seen under a harsh light with nowhere to hide. It breaks the quiet comfort the hazy incandescent globe casts over the kitchen as he realizes they're talking about him, and Eddie.

“Jim, I – what are you talking about?” Hoping he's speaking about someone else, has to be sure. Hopper, as direct as he has always been once he's sniffed something out, cuts through “you love him?” 

It catches him off guard, he and Eddie had become a world of their own and for a moment Steve had forgotten that it could be seen, interpreted. In his happiness there had been nothing that could witness, touch them.

He doesn't answer, not directly "I won't stop seeing him." His words are sure, confident. It doesn't take long for it to crumble under the weight of what his life will become without this.

"I'll move out, you don't have to ever see me again" his voice picking up speed, out of his control, becoming faster and fearful. "But please, let me keep seeing El" he begs "she – she's family."

"No" Hopper says sharply, no room for argument, Steve tries not to shrink away from it, after all this time he still can't shake that he's not wanted "we're family." 

It's not what he was expecting, the way Hopper looks at him, so sure he feels as though he's lived his whole life under his roof – tells him he should have, that nothing else but acceptance was ever going to come out of his mouth.

“Why did you come to us, Steve?” Hopper asks, “you could have gone anywhere” he wants to say that isn't true, he had options but none had felt right. Everyone else was too close to him, or had people to ask questions. He'd wanted to be as far from his house as possible, away from his parents and mapped out streets with cul-de-sacs. 

He also knew Hopper, the only man in his life who fought, who stayed. Rough and direct, Steve had needed someone safe, who wouldn't coddle, wouldn't ask too many questions.

“I was –” he pauses, realising Hopper had given him what he had wanted, all the while helping him, guiding him slowly and without his notice – handing him everything he'd been afraid of and deeply yearned for.

He had a father, he had a sister. He wasn't alone.

“I knew, I knew that you wouldn't turn me away.” Hopper nods. "No one is going anywhere, you can see El, you can see Eddie."

"I promise, I prom –" Steve stammers. He's not even sure what he's promising, protecting El,  doing everything he can to be worthy of the home he's been given. The man takes a deep breath and a strong gripped hand on his shoulder brings him in "it's okay."

He is shaking when he feels himself pulled against the sturdy body he eagerly leans into.

“Jesus, kid” Jim quietly murmurs “nothing's going to change” it's the first time Steve's not had to be alone when his life changes. Without having to step into a role of authority, to keep his cool, to parent himself as well as others. 

Later tonight, when he wakes abruptly, nightmares of demon dogs and Dustin calling his name, he knows there's an adult down the hall that still wants him. If he gets up to go to the bathroom or get a glass of water, he could hear El's soft snoring.

And he'll make his way back down the hallway, past their slightly ajar doors, tip-toeing on socked feet, careful not to wake them and he will sleep better than he ever has.

🏠🏠

He should be on a high, Hopper doesn't hate him, he gets to be open, to bring out a part of himself he'd thought he'd have to hide until his death. 

He's never felt freer. 

But life doesn't always run so smoothly, clarity and confusion can be felt together. What you take for granted becomes murky and daunting the longer you have it, giving rise to a whole new fear.

Without having to worry about his family, his feelings of anxiety become trapped in an echo chamber of Eddie, mostly it's a good kind of anticipation, to see his face and hold him. Other days, like today, it ruins him – whispers things the boy that was left behind believes to be true, tells him he isn't enough. 

Nancy’s words haunt him and his imagination is so vivid he feels the phantom pain, that one day he will lean in for a kiss and Eddie will stop him, hesitant, guilt flickering in his eyes and Steve will know it's over.

He isn't thinking, only searching for proof that he's not a burden to another "Do you want me?" The question is telling, the desperation in his voice thick.

Steve knows he's been wanted, for his looks, his money. His parents had wanted him for a reason, no matter how superficial. He's needed, by the kids, by Robin – but it's not the same way he wishes to be wanted by Eddie "of course I want you." His tone is flirtatious, teasing as he tries to lighten his mood. 

"No" he reaches out, catching Eddie's hand "not like – for my" he can't look at him, even as his voice pleads "me" he utters "do you want me?" 

He isn't answered and he struggles to sit in the silence, already needing to take it back. “I'm sorry” afraid he's asked too much, that if Eddie hadn't been doubting their relationship before he is now. 

He can be confident, sure of himself. There had  been moments in his life where doubt was so unfamiliar you couldn't tell him he was wrong. 

He knew better now, because he'd gained awareness of what life could take. Or maybe he was worse off, because fear and loss could touch him at any moment and he couldn't pretend, couldn't hide. 

There was no top of the world, when you knew what was below.

“Steve” Eddie's voice cracks his name in half, he drops the easy teasing, recognising how important this moment really is. 

“More than, fuck,” he moves towards him, shoulders set “I'm no good – not at this” his hands reach for him in return “but, I couldn't want anything more” they grip gently at his arms, before trailing up to rest at his neck, thumbs resting along his cheek “anyone.” 

He looks at him so clearly, he wonders if he can see the neurons of his brain, sending signals. All talking, lit up, all declaring Eddie.

“It's kind of embarrassing, how much.” Eddie says it like it isn't, even if the small huff that leaves him, the slight bite of his lip, means he feels it should be.

They don't have much in common, movies, music – it's all at odds. How long can Steve keep his interest? “I don't like Black Sabbath” he whispers, like he's admitting some horrible truth.

The fingers holding his cheek grip gently at his chin. “Okay” Eddie almost looks like he's fighting a laugh, but his eyes remain honed completely on his. “Is the fact that I do, a deal breaker for you?” 

He flushes, feeling horrified at the idea “no, that would be –” he cuts himself off, realises he's been led to recognise his own ridiculousness, deft and quick.

“We don't have to like the same things” he sounds so sure, it starts to calm him “I like you, you like me?” He ends the statement as a question, Steve is quick to affirm “I do, a lot, so much.” 

In the next breath he admits to the both of them, why losing Eddie would break something in him that would take years to rebuild, and maybe not even that would be enough time. 

Sharper than Nancy, linger and echo longer than any date that ended on its first. Eddie had disarmed him, the first person he had ever wanted without performance, surprising in its intensity and the natural way it had grown. Eddie was root and vine, planting Steve in a place he had never felt was truly his and telling him he belonged.

His hand joins the one on his jaw, counts the breaths Eddie takes in and out  “I love you.”

Eddie's next inhale comes quick, one solid intake of air collapses his chest and Steve immediately recognises himself, the disbelief and the weight and lightness of someone's love “love?” He nods, “You don't have to say it back.” Knows it might be too soon, for the words to be real, made solid and sitting between them. “After – well, I just need you to know.”  

“No one has ever told me they love me before” his voice drifts away from them, like he's talking from the next room, or underwater – soft, speaking only to himself. How could he ever have thought they weren't alike? When this is how they react when given affection, unsure and needing assurance, always asking for certainty.

It's a palpable intimacy, Steve thinks. Almost too much it seeps into him, through his shirt, into his skin, drowning him from within his chest. It feels like it might end him, that they can understand each other in this way. 

But it isn't like being dragged under, no waves or whirlpools. It feels like after swim practice, when the race and the drive were gone and he could just float, enjoying the weightlessness of his body in the water. “I can” he tells him "again, if you want?”

“Please” he whispers and his eyes have glazed and his breath still comes shallow, he watches Steve like his next words will create worlds.

“ I – ah” he stumbles over his own tongue, mind too far ahead, thinking so much at once just looking at Eddie, caught on a laugh, waiting “love you” it becomes a sob and Steve catches his body when his hands grab at his back and pull him in. 

It's filled with all the desperation of their yearning, he brings him closer, they crush and hold the other before Eddie pulls back. 

His fingers still grip at Steve even as his hold loosens. “Steve, I love you” his hair, as messy as it always is and in his eyes, he recognises the joy as tears spill. He's never seen him cry, never even imagined it.

This vision of him, his eyes wider, glassy. In his words, Steve finds his own cheeks are wet. It's messy, both so unfamiliar too loving this much, and being loved.

They reach out at the same time, fingers tracing the damp trails on the others cheeks, hands elated at the feel of fabric and skin and something real. 

He wants to kiss him, again, now. He waits, letting Eddie grip his hip feverishly, fingers pulling and slipping. His other hand makes its way down to his neck, leaving notches on his skin, like markings in wood, memorising all the places he holds him. 

Steve just watches himself being traced, Eddie's hands over muscles, like staring at your feet during a dance, focused so you don't miss the steps and knows his eyes have barely left his face. 

They take a moment just to memorise each other,  it feels like there should be heat and fervour but instead it falls into something sweeter. He feels deserving of the attention, the aching of being starved of meaningful touch fades with every graze of calloused palms.

Everyone had thought Steve was king, languid and secure in his control. Did, got, took, had, whatever he wanted. The truth was so much sadder, he hadn’t been able to recognise it, too paper thin, not deep enough, so empty of anything that mattered that he could drift away in the lightest wind. 

He's always been a bystander in his own life, watching from the sidelines, on the bench, the only lead he'd followed was the wrong one. 

Taking the classes his parents told him to. Standing by Tommy and Carol with a vapid, useless loyalty as they hurt and judged, spray painted vicious words on walls as he would voice cruel things that he didn't believe, but said anyway. 

He let Nancy take his hand and change him, he can't complain when it all led to a man who was better, even if that jealousy twisted him and the guilt that left him aching in the wake of Jonathan's closed fist took months to swallow – still in moments when he thought too much, felt like acid rising back up his throat – long after she'd forgiven him, taken him back and then left him.

He took responsibility, made himself accountable, did the work and it was hard, old habits rising when facing himself got ugly. But it was also easy, a relief, a shedding of dead weight. 

None of it was who he really was. Not the boy who ran when things got challenging, that didn't care who he hurt as long as it wasn't himself. It was all for show and fear and layers of old tape he'd never ripped off because it held him together in the echoing chasm of being unloved.

But right now, it's Steve's decision to love Eddie, to hold him. No voice is in his head but his own, so loud and clear he's sure there's nothing he's ever wanted more.

He lets Eddie kiss him, lets it be his decision to choose him too.

 🏠🏠

It's another night that Steve knows will end sleepless, the day he'll watch rise spent rubbing at aching eyes. It happens often enough that his body hasn't gotten used to it. A day or a week and he'll be back to his usual, unbroken and dreamless rest.

He sits out on the back porch, watching the tree line over the fence like he's keeping vigil. It's not that he thinks there's something out there right now, it's just that on nights like this he feels better when he knows he's doing something productive and Steve's always found it's better to be prepared for anything.

He listens, tries to ignore the light ringing in his ears that comes in the silence, there's a dog barking in the distance and the sound of a gate left open, lightly clanging against the fence next door.

It's so normal that Steve can convince himself that nothing else exists but this. Just their house, their neighbourhood, Hawkins is just a small town the same as any other and Steve is just like everyone else – going through the motions without the weight of another world upon his shoulders as well as his own.

The back door creaking has him spinning with expert grace, he calms as soon as he realises it's just Jim, two bottles in hand and an understanding look in his eye.

He stands beside him for a moment, looking out over the garden just as Steve had.

Hopper lowers himself down with a groan, sits with him “you know I was in Vietnam?” He hands him a beer he's technically not legally allowed to drink. “Yes” He remembers seeing a box with the word scrawled across it when they were moving, covered in dust and clearly left untouched for years.

“I wasn't ready” Hopper says plainly “like you weren't ready for all this crazy shit to happen” he scoffs “god, I was just a kid.”

“You were just a kid” he doesn't look at Steve when he speaks, but it still keeps him in place as good as if he'd been holding his gaze, unblinking straight to his soul “doesn't make you weak that it gets to you sometimes” 

“I just – there's nothing I can do to stop it from happening again” the words stutter their way out of him “no, there's not” Jim accedes “hard to live, hard to sleep when it could happen again at any moment.”

And that's the problem, if he stops looking, if he slips someone can die. He could die and if he dies who looks after the kids?

He doesn't think he could live if anything happened to any of them, he'll wake up some nights and he won't remember what he's dreamt but he feels a worry for Dustin that has him calling in the morning to see if he wants a ride to school.

“You've seen things no one should,” Hopper says quietly, as if trying to soothe him without stirring up any more memories. As much as that comforts him, he still sees a thousand outcomes that have him losing everything he's ever cared for.

He closes his eyes and there's Billy Hargrove, of all the people to haunt Steve – a cruel boy twisted by his father. 

He'd driven Max home once, just after Billy's father had left, she was torn between relief that he was gone and the weight of the cost being her step brother's life. 

He was horrible, she told him – abusive and on an edge he kept you held over. That as much as there were moments she swore she hated Billy, in his death she had come to realise what made him that way. Steve had thought about his own father then, distant and uncaring and Billy's – just as unable to love, but in his detachment, instead was an anger that he made his son wear, put back into the world as his own.

Billy had given his life for El, just as surely as he would have. It made him think a lot about making up for what you've done wrong, what a sacrifice like that was against the vulgar way he'd looked at the kids, and tried to fight Steve any chance he got. How he treated Max and the words he said to Lucas.

It was all so much more complicated than he felt he could handle, Billy was an arsehole and he died so El didn't and Steve watched him die – watched the way it's changed Max, hollowed her out and made her grow in guilt.

“None of us should have seen what we have.” Hopper hums beside him. It's not lost on him that without it he wouldn't have anything he does now, what he'd lost, what he'd gained. It causes another wave of conflict to roll through him.

Every terrible thing Steve has been through has had a cost and a gift. Bringing Robin along with them at starcourt gave him the best friend he'd never had, but now there's always a fear he'll lose her. Nancy dumping him made him a better man, his parents not loving him led him right here, to a family that does.

“So much has happened” he thinks of Bob and Barbara, he squeezes his eyes – repeats to himself meeting Dustin, meeting Robin ”good and bad” it feels like he's trying to clam it all down and pick it all out at the same time “I don't know what to with it.”

“That's life” Hopper concludes, they both know the words aren't enough to encapsulate what they've been through when he snorts “okay, so life for most people isn't monsters and fighting Russian's,” he shoves their shoulders together lightly “you just gotta take it, the good and the bad.” 

“For me” He starts “bad; creepy demon spider in the sky” Hopper says simply “good; El, you, Joyce. Sure you can throw the rest of 'em somewhere in there too, even Wheeler.” 

It brings a laugh from him, just as he's sure Hopper intended. “Bad” he repeats “listed as above” he points to the older man lazily “good; El, you, Dustin, Robin. Eddie.” He goes on to list everyone Max, Lucas, Will, Mike and Erica. Even adds in Jonathan and Nancy and Hopper lets him, doesn't comment on how the names come out between sure and shakey.

When he stops the man rests a hand on his shoulder “that's it.” He doesn't usher him to bed, doesn't go anywhere either, just sits there with him until the sun starts to rise.

🏠🏠

“Mike and I have decided to be friends” El says to him, unprompted, laid out on the lounge like most Sundays. He's been showing her the morning cartoons he grew up on, what she's missed out on. “We aren't breaking up” she wrinkles her nose “not right now” he can see the faltering, the questioning of the end of her first and only relationship as her lip quivers, but she sounds like she doesn't regret it “a break – we never got to be friends.”

He understands the logic, every deciding moment of their relationship has come under pressures of life and death and now, in their relative safety – that isn't enough. He understands, his relationship with Nancy straggled on for months longer than it should have because they had almost died together in Joyce's living room “I think that's a good idea.” 

He thinks it might be good for Mike – Will too, the weight of his relationships levelled, so he can just spend time with them, treat them both how he feels without the pressure of the categories he's put them in.

She nods, watching him, seemingly glad of his approval. “How do you feel about it?” She shrugs, falls further into the sofa, her shoulder dropping into his own. “I feel – lighter” she looks it too, even in the possible wake of the end of her first relationship she looks less burdened “I like being his friend.”

He's not a hundred percent sure he's read it right, hoping that looking through the lens of his own experiences isn't skewing his view. But Mike's response to feeling trapped, had him looking at his relationship with Will differently. 

It took him barely a minute to realise how Will felt about his best friend, his eyes always too soft, his expression pinched in such painful yearning that he's surprised no one else has noticed. Mike though, is harder to discern. If he is like Steve, he's not sure he'll be able to accept that his friend is even an option. It's been excruciating enough to watch Will pine alone. He thinks it must be painful for him, for Will to be Mike's friend.

He imagines himself, being so close to Eddie without being able to touch, to tell him how he feels. He'd probably grasp at straws and words of friendship instead of nothing too.

Worried that it will hurt El, he tests the waters, hoping he isn't being intrusive, but wanting to know where her mind is “would you be okay if that's all it stayed? His friend?”

She goes quiet and he can see her laying out pros and cons before him, imagining her future and it's strange to feel happy about someone's possible break up –  because he isn't – he's just happy that she gets to think about boys and if she wants to kiss them, instead of if she will ever be free of a monster's shadow and the possible end of her life.

“Okay?” She seems to have surprised herself “is that, okay?” He nods, shifting closer in support “I think whatever makes you happy is okay.”

“Happy” She repeats, she hasn't done that in a while and usually it's with words she doesn't have an understanding of. It's a sobering thought that happiness is still a feeling she has to take a moment to recognise.

They don't speak for a while, letting the over played sounds of children's TV lull them.

Her head comes to rest on his shoulder “I never had a brother, not really” he can't see her face but he suspects her eyelids have slipped closed, with the slowing of her speech. He keeps his gaze on the screen and lets the weight of her head and the love he feels settle into his chest “I've never had a sister before.” 

He had known from a very young age he would stay an only child, but he still wished for a sibling, he hadn't cared if they were a boy or a girl. He had just wanted someone to sit beside him when they watched movies or at the kitchen table, to not have his own laughter echo through the room alone.

He had invited Tommy over any chance he had in middle school, pretending they were twins, let his words and presence fill the void. 

“It's nice” she says plainly and simply, the morning light warms the room, even as the open curtains make it harder to see the screen and he knows he won't get up to close them any time soon.

“There were other kids” she speaks quietly “at the lab” he hums, not wanting to break her thoughts, she doesn't speak much about before. “We played, called each other brother and sister” he imagines a young El, unsure of what children should even do, following an instinct of what to do between secrets and forced experiments. “But Papa – he always made us feel – apart.” On purpose he expects, can't have the lab rats unified, they might decide to work against you.

“Have you ever played tag?” He feels her head shake against his shoulder “well, you will” he doesn't explain what it is. He already plans to invite everyone. Doesn't care if Joyce waves them off and Hopper complains about his knee. “You'll love it.”

🏠🏠

He's invited over to Wheeler's, for a vote? He finds himself in the basement, kids spread around the floor and lounges like confetti “why am I here?” They hadn't called a code red and no one seemed particularly upset, there's a calculating air to them as he had been guided into the middle of the room.

Dustin speaks first and they all turn to him “I think we should tell Eddie about the upside down.” It's obvious this is something they've already discussed in detail, no one adds a word, they all turn to Steve.

“We are going to put it to a vote.”

“What, no way!” He calls out sharply “I agree with Steve” Lucas calls as if he's backing him up in a courtroom or school yard fight “you would side with him” Mike snipes “basketball bros” Dustin mutters to himself. They share a look just as derisive as his and Lucas's.

“Why?” He wants to tell them how ridiculous this is, to willingly bring someone into this – how they could be risking Eddie's life if things ever go bad again “It isn't safe” He tries to reason “and it would be careless to go around telling everybody.”

“Not everybody” Mike mocks “just Eddie.” 

“Lets just let him find out naturally the next time something happens” Lucas tries to reason “why would you say that?” Max utters.

“Yeah so he dies, because he has no idea what's going on?” Mike yells “okay, just because you want to be Eddie!” Lucas is quick to fire back “Do not!” 

“Hey! Cut the shit” Dustin stands between them, hand out “do we really wanna leave a party member in the dark? Hanging out with us is a giant target on his back, we need to hypothetically prepare.” He hates when they start to make sense, when he feels himself being roped in.

“C'mon Steve, wouldn't it be nice to not hide anything?” It would be, he thinks, if it wasn't so unbelievable “yeah Steve, wouldn't want to hide anything” Mike says with sniper-like precision. He ignores it. “What do you two think?” He asks Will and El, who had been benevolently quiet.

“Ignore the fence sitters” Dustin drawls, there's a tutting sound from behind him “everyone votes, that's the rule” Erica says from an arm chair, she's been suspiciously silent too, like a queen over watching jesters in her court. “Didn't realise you'd swapped capitalism for being a socialist, Am’Erica” Dustin calls and earns himself an eye roll. 

“Why are you even here?” Mike jumps in “hey asshole! I earned my spot three hundred feet underground in a secret Russian base” he goes quiet as she continues and he realises no one is immune to her verbal take downs. “My vote should be at least ten thousand of yours bird boy.”

Mike frowns, mouth opening – clearly beginning to think he might be able to defend himself, Steve speaks before he can and though he won't see it that way, he's saving him “what about Robin? Or Jonathan and Nancy?” Wishing he didn't have to be the only adult being held hostage in a basement.

“They barely know the guy” Dustin says protectively, he wants to remind them that Robin is now one of his closest friends “I thought the rule is everyone gets a vote” Max breaks in and he's glad for the way she cuts right through the crap.

“I think we should tell him” Will looks between Mike and Steve, ‘I would wanna know.” His attention is on his best friend for a moment before he's directing his words back to him “it doesn't feel right to leave him out in the cold, y'know.”

He nods, noticing Will's discomfort and softening with it “and you, El?” Steve asks, allowing the boy to step out of the spotlight as he gives him a small smile “friends don't lie” she says simply, as he knew she would. “Is not telling him lying?” She just continues to stare at him. “He's important to you.” 

And there is the truth of it, Eddie matters and not just to Steve. If he's with them, if he plans to keep Eddie close and he does, then he's going to find out. There's a moment of fear, where he considers the risk of even uttering a word of the upside down if it means he might put him in danger, lose him.

“What if he gets hurt?” He asks and he knows his voice is raw, hoping that if they notice they won't say it. They quiet and at least he knows they are taking it as seriously as he is, their eyes contemplating and jaws set.

“Don't we owe it to him to decide?” Dustin asks, not realising that it could also mean Eddie could decide to stay the hell away from Steve too “don't we owe it to him to protect him?” He responds. Mike sighs but he isn't biting when he says “we're going in circles here.”

“Steve” Dustin calls to him gently as he moves closer, ducks his head to catch Steve's eyes “none of us knew what we were getting into” he looks to Max and Erica “wouldn't you guys have preferred to know what you were walking into?” He doesn't wait for them to answer before he looks back to Steve “right now, Eddie's walking around with no idea that nowhere is safe in Hawkins.” 

“I want him to be able to be ready, to get himself out of trouble. Don't you?” He wavers just enough, their eyes locked, Dustin sees it too and he knows he's found the way to convince him. Protecting, keeping safe, those words reach into the pit of his being.

His eyes rest on El, before they take in everyone else and then he's looking back at Dustin, a kid he's led in and out of danger.

“Fine, okay – I'll consider it” he raises a single finger when murmurs fill the room, Dustin clapping his hands together in self declared victory “after, I talk to the others.”

There's muffled groans from Mike and Dustin, he's quick to hush them “take it or leave it, that's the deal.”

“You have yourself a deal.” Dustin makes him shake on it.

~~~~

“It's called the upside down, because it's just like here?” Eddie says slowly “yes, yes and it's upside down” Dustin says quickly. He's repeated himself multiple times from his place beside him on the couch, sighing as Eddie had asked the same questions over and over.

They're back in Mike's basement, a safe place large enough for all of them to tell their story. Jonathan, Nancy and Robin have joined them.

“No need to use that tone” he looks to Steve, leant against the wall and between the shock is a moment of amusement and he thinks maybe he's grasped this quicker then he's let on. 

It had taken El lifting the bandanna from his back pocket for it to really sink in, even as it had left him even more stunned. But he could tell he had wanted to believe them from the beginning, hanging onto every word – eyes alight and curious – bouncing between everyone as they spoke over each other as one thought they could explain it better.

“Holy shit man, a whole other dimension.” His brow pinched “do you think there's more? Ones that don't have shit trying to kill you?” Everyone pauses “not really been a thought at the forefront of our minds” Robin answers but he watches her clearly mulling the question over.

“Alright so the mall fire? Actually Russians and a monster made of all those missing people?” They all nod “Russians under the mall” Dustin speaks first “it was crazy man.” 

“The base was so far underground! The lift went on forever” sounding like he's complaining about being made to eat his vegetables “you should have seen it.” 

“It wasn't that impressive," Erica mutters, simply because she refuses to be impressed by anything.

“We snuck in and then Steve and Robin got kidnapped and Steve got tortured” he looks at him, it's heavy to someone who isn't used to near death experiences. Eddie's eyes are distressed and he has to comfort him “it wasn't as bad as it sounds” Robin scoffs “tell that to your face, it was one giant bruise.” She stops talking when she realises she isn't helping “my bad” she utters at the hard look on Steve's face. 

“You could have died” Eddie's voice is quiet, he doesn't even think about it when he moves to crouch in front of him, his hand reaching for his cheek, a physical reminder that he's alive and okay. This isn't what he wanted, to open up his boyfriend's mind to the ever present possibility of his death.

Eddie feels so deeply, never hiding from Steve. Even now, in front of everyone he can't pretend that he could have lost him before even having him.

“I didn't though, I'm okay, I promise” he shakes “Steve” He doesn't know what to do, his stricken brown eyes boring into his. “You can't –” he won't be someone else Eddie loses “I won't, I won't” he rests their foreheads together, placing himself over Eddie, breathes deeply in the hopes it persuades his lungs to do the same.

Loss isn't an easy thing for either of them, Eddie who's had so much taken from him already and Steve who's gained so much he can't handle the thought of it ever going away.

They're taking deep breaths, air shuddering when he realises how quiet it is. He doesn't move away, not yet, takes a moment to right himself and check Eddie's alright, he pulls back just enough to sweep his thumbs along his cheeks and hold his eyes.

He nods when he sees Eddie's composure return, he leans forward to place a kiss to the side of his head.

If it hadn't come after the fall out of his boyfriend's panic attack, the look on Dustin's face in his periphery would have had him grinning “what was that?” Eddie coughs, his voice still tight even after he clears it “you never seen anyone freak out before Henderson?”

“I think he means the part where you're acting like Romeo and Juliet” Erica explains “yeah, thank you, that” Dustin responds dryly.

“Don't wanna ask if he's okay?” Max juts in with arms crossed, already digesting what she's seen, never missing a chance to call someone out.

“Yeah, Dustin! I'm fine by the way” Eddie drawls, voice still a little shaky, barely tilting away from Steve.

He looks around them, Lucas's surprise clear in the drop of his chin, Mike stays silent beside Will whose gaze is on them so intently he feels like he wants to reach out to him and escape his eyes.

He tries not to look at Nancy, but it happens anyway. It shouldn't matter what she thinks, but somehow a part of him is worried she'll feel like there was another layer of bullshit to their relationship. She's studying him, he feels like a subject for her paper, Jonathan beside her, isn't even looking at Steve or Eddie and he's sure his focus is on his brother.

But she smiles after she's found whatever she's looking for and he should know that Nancy understands him well enough that this isn't something he knew about himself when they were together. 

His eyes find Eddie again, only able to take his attention away for a moment. His hands rest on his thighs “We can go” he whispers, but Eddie only shakes his head. He pushes Dustin aside before he answers him, they squeeze together on the two seater lounge, but none of them move. 

He turns to his friend as well as he can, one hand still on Eddie's leg, who brings his own hand to grip it tightly, it's all the confirmation that he needs to finally answer Dustin's question “so, Eddie and I are dating.”

“No fucking way” the boy says. He watches Lucas open his mouth to ask a question “you get five minutes to ask questions.” He knows it won't be enough but for today it's all he's willing to give, he wants to get out of here, get Eddie home and hold him for the next four hours.

They've forgotten about telling Eddie anything more about the upside, they trip over themselves to ask questions, even Erica's curiosity is piqued enough to make them feel like they're caught in a detective's investigation.

When they're finally allowed to leave it's after midnight, Eddie leaves his side for a moment with a hand sweeping up his arm, he watches him jog after Will and Jonathan, whispering a few words to the boy before he pats his shoulder. He nods to his older brother, something protective passing between them before he makes his way back over.

He pulls him into a kiss that feels final, in a way that says this isn't the end but the beginning of this being it for them.

~~~~

“That was a lot to take in” he says when they drop off Dustin, any questions Eddie still had rattling around his brain directed at the boy.

“For them or me?” Steve can't help reaching over to kiss him quickly, not too long, in case Dustin looks back to see them – he's only known for a couple of hours and his teasing and poaching for information already has Steve rolling his eyes and Eddie spreading misinformation to see what gets back to them through the rest of the kids.

“For you, learning about government science experiments on children going wrong and coming out on the same day is kind of, a lot.”

Eddie only shrugs his shoulders, “I'm glad they know” he looks at him seriously now “are you? I know if I hadn't gone –” he waves his hands around his head “we probably wouldn't have told them today.”

“Yeah, probably not” he lets out a breath “I'm sorry it had to come out like that” he looks at him ruefully “but, it was certainly worth the look on Dustin's face” it's enough to break Eddie's apprehension.

“Oh, I can definitely get over you almost dying for the look across that kid's face.” They shouldn't laugh but they do, it's a release of the intensity of their day. “I love you” he can't help but say “love you too.” Eddie pulls him in for another kiss with the dip of his chin “do you think Henderson would haemorrhage if we made out in his driveway?” He pushes his face away and gets his palm licked for it. 

“Wanna stay at mine tonight? Wayne's working” his lips leering and Steve looks at them a moment longer before flickering up to his eyes “just drive, please.” Eddie salutes as he reverses.

Eddie clutches him closer into the night, keeps him in his arms into the late morning. He doesn't say a word, only lets his hands drift into his hair and it's enough that they're both assured, his breath in time with Eddie's.

🏠🏠

Mike and El break up two months after he and Eddie come out, she doesn't cry but they spend the evening spread out on the floor talking and watching movies.

She tells him about how she doesn't think she and Mike ever really loved each other in the way they thought they did. Then she lets slip that Mike's feelings for Will had come up, he's surprised and strangely proud that he was brave enough to tell anyone about it, especially El.

He feels guilty, that wanting Mike and Will to figure things out means El had to hurt. He tells her this, because honesty is something so inherently weaved into their relationship now, she tells him she understands. She never wanted Mike to choose her if it meant they'd both be unhappy, even if it would take time to accept.

She knows what it's like to not feel right in your own skin – to want to be who you really are and understands enough about how the world works to recognise things don't always make sense.

One day he may even be able to make a joke about how it seems Wheeler's like to leave them for a Byers.

Things are weird between them for a few months, enough for everyone to pick up on, the older of them have enough grace to not comment.

He has to tell Dustin to shut his mouth when he makes a comment the first time they're all in the same room together again.

El spends more time with Max, Lucas and Dustin making their way over, confusion over the split in their tight knit friendship.

A month after that Mike asks to hang out. He's not sure what to expect, it doesn't come naturally but they end up speaking about what it is to not know something about yourself until it hits you, so obvious and confusing it's painful.

Steve had been blindsided, knocked to the ground and winded by his feelings for Eddie, culminating in an afternoon that had him questioning everything. It wasn't the same for Mike, whose love for Will had been right there, building for years. Large and looming and unnamed, hidden in plain sight – guiding his decisions without him even realizing.

He tells Steve he feels stupid, ridiculous and cruel – like he had led El on. She'd come into his life when he'd been searching for his best friend and all those emotions of fear and longing had linked with her, awestruck and saved, El had been exactly what Mike had thought he'd been looking for.

He reminds him he was just a kid, helps him figure it out as best he can, what he wants to say to El – to Will. Steve can empathise, his own relationship with Nancy and Jonathon stable in a way he never would have imagined two years ago.

Eventually they seem to sort it out, Will and El start to spend time alone, a new closer relationship forming – to the detriment of Mike who they now gang up on to tease.

The group knits itself back together, not quite the same, a new depth to their friendships taking shape. Dustin spends more time with El and Steve together and Mike, after being scolded, hangs out with Max. Eddie picking them up from school and dropping them off at the trailer beside his.

Eddie passes and graduates and Steve cries for him, joy unable to be hidden as his boyfriend waves his diploma around for days after – he gives him his cap and kisses him when they get home – whispering words against his skin of luck and a gratitude to someone being there through his fears and for his achievements. 

The kids get ready for summer, hopefully unburdened and Steve decides what to do with time moving so fast around him.

🏠🏠

He and Eddie loiter in the living room, the kids coming and going around them. They had been out in the backyard, enjoying the early afternoon sun, a game of tag and a barbecue. As the day had run itself out and Eddie's head kept slipping from his palm – starting to doze off, they'd decided to move inside and away from the noise, happy to be alone.

It hadn't lasted long, a light sleep that might have been minutes or hours and they're listening to Dustin and Lucas bicker in the hallway as Hopper searches through cabinets in the kitchen, uttering to himself the longer he can't find whatever it is he's looking for. 

Steve almost gets up to help him, but Eddie's feet are on his lap and he's enjoying the light haze that lingers from the beers they'd had with lunch. He knows he isn't needed a second later when he hears the man's cry of victory.

“So, you gonna stick around at the video store when Robin goes off to college?” Eddie asks, pulling him back. It's still a little odd to have someone asking about his future with open arms, curious and accepting of his choices without pressure. Stranger, even to have a person think about what he might want of their own volition.

He had been trying to figure it out, though having Eddie in his life now Steve's content, unafraid of being alone. 

He would miss Robin, never had a friend like her before, but he doesn't think that will change just because he won't see her as often. They'll likely just spend hours on the phone. 

He was happy for her, so much so that it filled the wistful ache of not being able to see her nearly everyday when she'd shoved her acceptance letter into Berkeley in his face, smile wide and body bouncing. 

After the conversation they'd had about his own future, it made him ask himself serious questions, like what he wanted to do with his life.

He was happy enough, he could stay at family video forever. But there was still a whisper, a vaguely shaped, slowly building and taking form feeling in him that he could do more. If he wanted, if he tried.

“Not sure, but you know” he looks at Eddie, who's been making teachers jokes at him for months, with no real expectations, just a gentle reminder of what he believes he could do "now's the time for change.” 

His eyes are conspiratorial as he plays with the frayed ends of Eddie's jeans, his other hand making patterns on his shin.

"Job offers still on the table" Hopper yells from the kitchen, clearly eavesdropping before he swings the back door open, two bowls of Lay's chips precariously held in one arm, a half smoked cigarette in the other "yeah, I know." The grin on his face is obvious as he speaks, calling out as the door slams behind the man.

Eddie looks over to him, his face shifting and eyes shining with whatever his imagination conjures. "No, way" Steve only shakes his head "I'm not actually gonna."

"Oh no, please do" he implores slowly, his lips widening.

"I'd stop grinning like a Cheshire cat if I were you" the older man points at his boyfriend from the doorway, suddenly returning without making a sound, hands already lighting a new cigarette, he cracks open a beer he must have come back for "If I even catch a whiff of you dealing hard shit again, It'll be me and a shotgun you'll be meeting on the porch for your next date."

"Yes, sir'' Eddie sputters out with no sign of his usual mischievousness.

"Don't worry, he gave Mike a similar talk once" he placates gleefully, when Hopper leaves the room. “Deathreats and all” Eddie's left eyebrow lifts in disbelief and Steve can't help the cackle that leaves him.

"Guess I'll have to become an honest working man now" he utters in defeat, like he doesn't already work part time at the local body shop "hot" Steve hums.

"Surely that doesn't mean a little green, right?" He shoves at him.

He laughs, “you actually thinking about it?” He shakes his head, it isn't the kind of authority Steve's looking for, thinks he'd probably let off the first person he pulled over for having a bad day.

“Actually, I was still thinking of teaching, maybe sports?” Eddie pauses, pensive as he mulls it over, doesn't say I told you so, before he grins “short shorts” he leans back “a whistle.” Closes his eyes “oh, even better.”

~~~~

He sees Hopper, in the dining room with Joyce, his lips lifting as he watches El, wedged between Will and Max on the sofa.

Steve knows that look as he gazes across the room, he feels it himself, his eyes shifting from El to Dustin. He's not a father like Hopper, but he thinks this is the closest he can come to understanding.

The extremes you feel, all that fear and worry – always ready to act and protect, all wrapped in a subtle joy of relief when it's safe, when you can all laugh in a warm room, brightened by lights that don't flicker.

When the daze in his eyes clears, his mind sharpens again – the weight of Eddie's arm along his back, a reminder of that safety. 

Robin talks over Mike, stuttering as Will argues with her. He lets Eddie pull him into his side and Dustin push his shoulder in his excitement to reach for Lucas across the table.

He smiles to the sound of El's laughter and when he looks over to Hopper again, he finds that look aimed at him. The older man's eyes warm and Steve doesn't have to search for the pride of a father or imagine the love of a family.