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Gonzo the Great and Rizzo the Rat.

An eccentric daredevil blue whatever and a food-driven sarcastic little rat.

Probably the weirdest dynamic duo out of all the Muppets, and that was saying so much.

How the peculiar pair managed to work in such strangely perfect harmony was lost to most people, even their fellow Muppets.

But according to Gonzo and Rizzo themselves, when it’s right, it’s right. So, who were they to question it?

Gonzo felt like the luckiest whatever in the world that he got to work and share a room with his tiny best friend. He knew he was an oddity, quite literally a freak of nature, but Rizzo never batted an eye about that and always stuck by his strange side. No matter how often the little rat was on the receiving end of a rough blow, which 90% of the time was directly caused by Gonzo’s own thrill-seeking ways.

Luckily, Rizzo never really got too hurt; rats are very durable creatures after all.

Although the sarcastic rat would definitely give Gonzo a snarky remark each time, he never seemed to be bothered enough to try to get even with the blue whatever.

Rizzo was honestly more than happy to prank him, make fun of him, and screw him over, but he would never want to actually hurt Gonzo. The prideful little rat could deny it as much as he wanted, but everyone all knew how much Rizzo cared about his strange roommate.

Besides, Gonzo didn’t seem to mind any sort of pain one bit, so it would be a fruitless attempt at revenge.

Nevertheless, what helped the sarcastic rat protect his pride, mainly from a teasing king prawn, was that his lovable blue weirdo of a roommate had a tendency to get on his nerves and occasionally cause him to lose his cool. Unfortunately even Rizzo could admit that sometimes he took things a bit too far.

-

“Ya just can be so frustrating sometimes, man! I almost got a date with Yolanda, and ya just had to ruin it! With another crazy act of yers! I get that it’s your thing to explode out of a cannon while reciting Shakespeare or whatever, but can’t ‘cha tone it down a little bit? Ya almost slammed into me again too! We woulda both died on impact if ya did, man! Splat! The show’s over, folks! What an ending, huh? And that woulda been yer fault, man!” Rizzo pointed a little finger up at Gonzo as he paced around in frustration while attempting to clean the chunks of food out of his fur.

Thankfully the blue whatever had missed Rizzo by more than a few hairs and instead ended up slamming into the catering table, which was stocked full of various meals made by Swedish Chef. All the food had splattered all over the walls, the ground, and the two rats next to it. Yolanda just gave Rizzo an incredibly unimpressed expression before she stormed off to clean herself up.

Gonzo himself was also covered in food and had very dizzily gotten to his feet. Despite the aching pain in his body from the impact of crashing into the table from the cannon fire, he was giggling to himself, still riding high on adrenaline from completing his daring stunt.

He didn’t even notice that Rizzo had approached him until he felt the little rat tug on his sleeve.

“Are ya alright, man?”

“Oh hey, Rizzo. Yeah, I’m feeling great!” Gonzo responded, unaware of all the mess he just caused.

“Are ya hurt?” The little rat asked through gritted pointy teeth.

“Nah, not really, just usual cannon pain.” Gonzo answered nonchalantly.

“Good. Now, what were ya thinking, ya knucklehead?!” Rizzo shrieked angrily as he dragged his blue roommate into a free dressing room to get cleaned up.

The amazing feeling of adrenaline quickly wore off, and Gonzo was now feeling an uncomfortable amount of anxious guilt swirling in his stomach as he tried to wipe food out of his blue fur while his rodent roommate was furiously chewing him out.

Rizzo paused his irritated grumbling to turn to his blue roommate, who was looking down at him with the same expression of a kicked puppy.

That wasn't going to work on the little rat, though. Not this time.

“I know you're upset, Rizzo, but I-” The blue whatever began to explain himself before the sarcastic rat cut him off angrily.

“Upset? Oh, I’m far more than upset, man! I told ya to go easy tonight, didn't I? Why can’t ya ever just listen to me?”

Gonzo hunched his shoulders, looking up to avoid his little roommate's intense gaze. He didn’t mean to make Rizzo so angry, and he felt really bad for ruining his shot with Yolanda. The blue whatever had been helping the sarcastic rat work up the courage the past few days.

“Well, man?” Gonzo always hated rhetorical questions.

Kermit loved them. Sometimes Pepe, Rizzo, and he would keep track of how many times the green frog would ask them to throughout a typical show. The highest they ever witnessed was ninety-six. And that was just between the three of them. Who knows how many he asked the rest of the Muppets?

Still, the blue whatever thought those sorts of questions always ended up in lose-lose scenarios. Rizzo knew Gonzo did not have a good answer, but if he stayed silent, the little rat would just get more exasperated.

“Look, I’m sorry, buddy, but Kermit gave me permission to use my cannon tonight, and I just had to do it! Without that big bang of an ending, my artistic visions would not be clear to the audience. It’s just... it’s important to me, Rizzo.” Gonzo’s voice softened considerably by the end of his explanation.

He didn't regret performing his act, but he did regret causing so much trouble for Rizzo. He really didn’t mean to ruin his best friend’s shot with Yolanda. He knew Rizzo’s had a crush on her for quite a while now. But he couldn't just perform a plain old boring act. He had to do the absolute best he could do. He had to. He was the Great Gonzo after all.

“Oh, for the love of cheese! Yer act woulda been as clear as it is strange without ya almost blowing us up! Ya coulda gotten us really hurt, man. And now everybody’s gotta clean up yer mess. Y’know, Kermit’s blood pressure is already high enough, without ’cha adding to it.” Rizzo sighed as his frustrated tone lost some of its harsh edge at the sight of his blue roommate's regretful face. “I don’t get why ya can’t just pull back a bit. I get that it’s important to ya, man, but seriously? Ya coulda still done yer act but without almost blowing us to smithereens, for a change. I coulda got a date with Yolanda, and everything woulda been swell! So why can't ya be a little less, I don’t know, you?”

Gonzo froze briefly in that moment, his yellow-lidded eyes widened a bit before he shook his head, sighing. That wasn't the first time someone had asked him to be less. That wasn't even the first time Rizzo himself had asked him to not be so weird, so strange, so himself.

But every time it still hurt just as much as the first time he ever heard it. After all, even though it truly bothered the blue whatever, he couldn't help but think that Rizzo was probably right.

Gonzo did do way more than he needed to show his artistic visions to the audience. He also did cause a lot of trouble with his extravagant acts, and he knew Rizzo, Kermit, or the other Muppets had to get him out of trouble more often than not. It can’t be easy for them, having to deal with him and his extreme stunts all of the time.

The blue whatever wondered if he was really worth all the trouble anymore.

“Gee, I really am sorry, Rizzo. I didn’t mean to upset you, and I didn’t mean to mess up your shot with Yolanda.” Gonzo apologized, making sure to give the little rat his most sheepishly sincere look. He knew it usually worked to get Rizzo to cool down. He hoped it did the trick this time too; he really hated it when they fought.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, man. But sometimes ya just really need to think things through that thick blue head of yers.” Rizzo sighed, pinching the bridge of his snout in fading frustration. Gonzo could tell that his little roommate was still very annoyed with him, even if he was willing to drop it for now.

“Check. I guess...” Gonzo wasn't dumb, despite what some folks might think. He did think things through. He just often let his bigger-than-life ideas take over. Honestly, Rizzo did have a point about his acts and stunts being a problem for the rest of the Muppets. He certainly didn’t want to be a burden to any of them, especially his little rodent roommate.

But Gonzo couldn’t just not perform. His artistic visions must be seen! And if he didn’t show them in the most daring, extravagant, and strange ways, then he wouldn’t be the Great Gonzo. And if he wasn’t that, then what was he even good for?

But isn’t that what Rizzo wanted? Less of the Great Gonzo?

Less of Gonzo?

Maybe he could try to tone himself down. Maybe he needed to. It was probably what was best for all of them.

-

A few rehearsals had passed, and soon the next Muppet Show began. Throughout the show, Gonzo tried to focus on being, unfortunately, less weird than usual. It definitely was way easier said than done, but Rizzo did seem so much less stressed. So did Kermit and the rest of the Muppets, as they were also regularly affected if one of his crazy acts got out of hand. Bringing his friends peace of mind almost made it worth it. Almost.

Gonzo sighed deeply as he banged his head repeatedly against the wall of his dressing room in frustration as he felt another bizarre idea to make his act more exciting come to his head. He did his best to ignore them. Tonight, the blue whatever was putting on a simple act of juggling beanbags while he recited a poem that he wrote for Camilla to the audience, and he was going to stick to it.

Kermit looked very confused when Gonzo pitched his act a few days ago. The green frog knew his strange blue friend never juggled just beanbags but also did look very relieved about it. Probably due to the fact that Bunsen and Beaker had a much more explosive experiment in their performance tonight. Kermit did really prefer one big explosion per show after all.

Still, Gonzo’s visionary urge to get his unicycle out for his act was starting to become really intense. But he promised Rizzo he would try to tone it down. He would try to be less.

The blue whatever felt like juggling clubs instead. Or bottles. Or rings. And he could light the rings on fire too. He wanted so badly to get them out, but he didn’t.

He told Rizzo he wouldn’t. And he told Kermit and Camilla too.

Gonzo could do the act blindfolded. He could do it with one hand. Maybe he could even stand on his hands and juggle with his feet.

Taking a shaky deep breath, Gonzo shut his eyes and tried to block all his amazing ideas out.

He needed to do this, like he said he would. For Rizzo.

Gonzo did his best to calm down and tune everything out as he made his way to the stage after he heard Kermit start to introduce him. He walked, held his props in his hands, and wanted to run back to his dressing room to grab his unicycle and blindfold and clubs, but he didn't. He could do this; he could. He could perform without all those bigger and better additions to his act that truly made him the Great Gonzo. That truly made him worth something.

With shaking hands, Gonzo stepped on stage and performed his act. It was as simple as he said it was going to be. Which was so terribly boring to him. The only part he enjoyed was seeing Camilla’s reaction in the wings to his poem for her. She looked so pleased. He probably looked ridiculous, doing such a plain and simple act, but he knew she loved him no matter what.

The blue whatever finished his act with no sudden complications or tricks up his sleeves and left the stage. He heard polite clapping and some confused heckling from Statler and Waldorf, but it sounded like such a mild drizzle of rain when he was used to either loud cheers or loud boos. Gonzo was honestly fine with both, as they reminded him of a loud, exciting thunderstorm.

Gonzo knew, logically, that his monotonous act was fine and enjoyable enough for most, but that wasn’t what was troubling him. The core reason he performed was to connect to an audience, to show off the wildest, strangest, and weirdest parts of himself. Positive reaction or negative reaction, it didn’t matter to Gonzo too much, although deep down he really did prefer a positive one. He was just more used to a negative one.

Regardless, either way he got a reaction, and a big one was what he always strived for. A reaction meant he got through to the audience, through to people. It meant he was able to connect with them, show them who and whatever he was, and for a few brief moments feel accepted and appreciated by them. Feel that he was something truly great.

After all, in his opinion, to perform without connection with the audience was to be alone. And Gonzo knew that painfully familiar feeling a little too well.

The blue whatever made his past Kermit, who was distractedly listening to Miss Piggy’s annoyance about Scooter getting her coffee order wrong while the green frog was trying his best to get the next act ready to go on. As soon as he passed them, Gonzo’s arms were full of Camilla, who was clucking on about how much she enjoyed his poem.

“Hey, nice act, man!”

“Wow, okay, I hope we get a reaction like that after our act!”

Rizzo and Pepe both joked as they passed by the couple, ready for their act of being Fozzie’s assistants throughout his comedy act. Although they probably were just going to add to the amount of heckles the jolly bear usually dealt with each show.

Gonzo just chuckled at them, relieved to see a genuine smile on Rizzo’s face. He was glad he was able to do this for his friends but especially his little roommate. Still, he couldn't help but feel useless to the Muppets like this. Anyone could do the act he just put on; why would they even need him if all he did was the bare minimum? He didn’t want to just be dead weight, but he also didn’t want to keep causing them more trouble than he was worth.

Camilla eventually left his side to get in her place on stage as the patient of this Muppet show’s rendition of Veterinarian’s Hospital. The rest of the show wrapped up in a blur for Gonzo, as he joined for the guest star's final performance and then packed up the very few props he used in tonight’s show and helped everyone tidy up like usual. He was snapped out of the motions when Rizzo poked his side.

“Gonzo? Hey, ya good there, man?”

The blue whatever gave the little rat his best 'nothing's wrong' grin. “Yeah, sorry about that, Rizzo. Just a little lost in my thoughts.” He didn’t think his rodent roommate believed him, but Rizzo still hit him back with a usual snarky comment.

“Don't hurt yerself, ha! Now c’mon, man. Let’s get outta here, I’m starving!” The strange duo made their way out of the theater as Kermit and Scooter were locking up. They climbed inside the Electric Mayhem’s bus and waited as the rest of the Muppets quickly filled the seats. Kermit did his usual headcount, and then Dr. Teeth slid into the driving seat, and they all headed home to the big boarding house the Muppets all shared.

The bus ride home was full of its usual noise and excitement, but Gonzo stayed much quieter than he normally would have. He blankly stared at the streets that passed by and couldn’t help but look up to the stars in the sky. A familiar song played through his head, and he sighed before Rizzo’s voice caught his attention.

“Look, Fozzie, man, it probably woulda been an ‘unbearable’ performance anyways without me and Pepe clowning on ya, ha! Besides, the old fellas are right. That's their job!” Rizzo laughed at the jolly bear who was sitting a few seats ahead, with Pepe next to him, probably taunting him in the same way, just much more covertly. The little rat turned to his blue roommate next to him, grinning. “What a great show, huh? Hey, Camilla did a good job in Rowlf’s doctor sketch.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty amazing, alright.” Gonzo chuckled, his true love for Camilla bringing his spirits up as he cast a glance to his chicken girlfriend up in the front seat, clucking along to an animated conversation with Janice and Miss Piggy. Yolanda was sitting with them, and she noticed Gonzo and Rizzo’s eyes on them. She cast them an easy smirk before turning back to the girls.

“Woah, woah, man, did ya see that? Maybe she’s gonna to give me another shot, huh?” Rizzo whispered eagerly.

Gonzo smiled, half-heartedly. “Maybe, buddy. I’ll stay out of your way this time.”

Rizzo looked up at his best friend, noticing his uncharacteristic low energy. “Hey, c’mon, ya don’t need to do that, bud. Like, don’t get me wrong, I know it’s hard for ya to not set the stage on fire each time ya perform but I appreciate ya trying to take it easy this time. So thanks, man. Yer a good pal.”

The blue whatever looked down at the little rat as he patted his arm, smiling although it didn’t quite meet his eyes.

“Anything for you, Rizzo.”

Well, wasn’t that the truth? Gonzo would do anything for Rizzo, like he would for the rest of the Muppets.

Unfortunately, he was already wondering how long he would be able to keep this up. It was hard, so hard for him to be less. Less of everything that made him, himself. However, if it really was better for everyone, especially Rizzo, this way, then he knew he should. He knew how much trouble he caused on the daily; Rizzo really did put up with a lot from him. So did Kermit, but hey, he put up with a lot from everyone too. 

Gonzo couldn’t help but feel a little nervous; if he kept trying to be less of himself, he was going to become even more of a burden to Rizzo and the others than he already was with his crazy antics and stunts. Besides, performing those insane acts was really the only thing he’s good for. He needed to figure this out before anyone realized just how little he contributed to the group. Gonzo has had many people in the past ditch him after realizing he’s more trouble than he’s worth. He couldn't relive that pain.

It was quite the opposite situation here, but was that worse with a chaotic group like the Muppets? Would him pulling back on his stunts and trying to be less like himself be more of an annoyance for them, and would they cut him loose for not pulling his weight, or would it be better for everyone that he wouldn’t be causing unnecessary trouble with his Great Gonzo personality for anyone anymore? Especially Rizzo. Gonzo really hoped it was the latter, even if he absolutely dreaded having to continue to do other shows like tonight’s. But he would deal with it for the rest of his life if it meant not being alone.

Anything but that. He could do this easily.

-

It turned out that he could not do this easily in the slightest. The past few weeks had been very rough on Gonzo as he struggled to be less. The other Muppets had been giving him weird glances, some questioning his behavior and trying to reassure him, particularly Kermit and Camilla. In response, the blue whatever brushed them off good-naturedly but anxiously. He couldn’t really tell if they believed him, but it more so just added to the challenge to keep this up. Usually the blue whatever loved a challenge, but currently he found it nearly impossible to manage both.

At this point, Gonzo didn’t know what to do and had just been waiting anxiously for the ball to drop. Kermit had tried to get him to open up about his even stranger than normal behavior the past few weeks, reassuring him that he would always have a place here with the Muppets. Hearing that was very relieving to the blue whatever; after all, Kermit called the shots within the Muppets, so if the green frog truly wanted him to stay, he would. Gonzo just thanked him; Kermit had more than enough on his plate, he didn't need another reason to worry about the blue whatever. He could figure this out on his own.

What was giving him more trouble on top of that was the fact that Rizzo had been looking at him very strangely lately, even more than he normally would. The sarcastic rat had also been acting kind of different around him, although to be fair, Gonzo had recently found it a bit easier to keep this up if he avoided Rizzo.

The blue whatever had a feeling his rodent roommate was catching on to him just like Kermit did; after all, he had noticed Rizzo gesturing towards him while he was talking to Pepe earlier. Which wasn’t too out of the ordinary, but judging by the fact that the king prawn was donning a strangely serious expression, Gonzo felt even more anxious. He wasn’t sure what they were even talking about because when he tried to peek back in on his two good friends’ conversation, it was already over and clearly didn’t end well, by the way Rizzo stormed away from Pepe, who just rolled his eyes at the sarcastic rat and crossed his four arms to his chest.

Gonzo tried not to dwell on it as he went through the motions of his day-to-day theater life. Trying to find a balance between acting normal but less. It wasn’t a rewarding task, that’s for sure.

At first, he had tried to act like his regular weirdo self, but he kept messing it up. To act normal for him was to do his daredevil stunts, and every time he did so, he always got into some sort of trouble. And since Gonzo spent most of his time with Rizzo, the little rat was usually dragged into his mess as well. While they didn’t have any big fights like last time, the blue whatever was suddenly painfully aware of the annoyed looks and sarcastic groans he would get from Rizzo. It honestly wasn’t anything new for the two of them, but it sure felt different to Gonzo now.

Although Kermit thankfully confirmed Gonzo would always be one of the Muppets, he just wasn't as sure that his little rodent roommate still wanted him around. The blue whatever tried to ignore the painfully insecure thoughts that kept running through his head, that it was probably only a matter of time before Rizzo would finally have enough of him and would not want to be close with him anymore. Gonzo tried so desperately to believe that couldn't be true, that Rizzo wouldn’t just drop him. But the blue whatever’s mind was plagued with past instances where he had thought the same of others who eventually did have enough of him. He was just too weird after all.

Even him trying to be less weird didn’t help much in the past; why would it make any difference now?

Gonzo supposed he must have thought Rizzo wasn't like those people. He was different than them. The sarcastic little rat was so genuine, so loyal, and, despite his cowardice, was truly brave when it counted. Rizzo was the one that had asked the blue whatever if he wanted to share a room with him in the first place. Rizzo was his best friend.

Or perhaps maybe soon he would just be his friend. There were plenty of Muppets that Gonzo wasn’t as close with but still truly loved. If Rizzo really was getting sick of him, then the blue whatever really hoped their relationship could be like that instead of losing him altogether.

After all, it was clear Gonzo’s desperate efforts to be better, to be less, for Rizzo, were not working.

No one had ever stuck this close to Gonzo for this long, besides Camilla, of course. But that was different.

Gonzo had always been close with Kermit, Fozzie, Scooter, and even Miss Piggy since he first joined the Muppets. But when he first met Rizzo, they just clicked. He couldn’t explain it; neither could Rizzo. Gonzo should have known it was just too good to be true.

The blue whatever knew he had flaws; everyone did. Especially the Muppets.

Pepe was affectionate and outgoing but also self-centered and sneaky.

Fozzie was joyful and childish but also aloof and oblivious.

Miss Piggy was passionate and bold but also jealous and hot-tempered.

Rizzo was loyal and sensitive but also cynical and sly.

Even Kermit had flaws. He was kind and true but also insecure and easily frazzled.

But the green frog always said that if we ignore any of our flaws, we won’t ever get to truly know ourselves.

Gonzo knew all his flaws; he had more than he cared to count. And he knew Rizzo especially knew all of them, his tendency to disobey, his daredevil nature coming at the cost of self-preservation, his annoying rambling, and how he was just so inexplicably weird. To name a few.

The blue whatever tried to remember what Kermit always told them all. Those parts of him were still him. They always would be.

And his co-worker, roommate, and best friend of many years was apparently just like the rest of his 'friends' throughout the years. Rizzo wanted less of him. He wanted less of Gonzo.

The blue whatever knew that he annoyed his tiny roommate, even when he didn’t mean to. As much as Gonzo didn’t want Rizzo to go, maybe some space would actually be really good for the two of them.

Maybe it would give the little rat a break from having to deal with him all the time.

Maybe this was what was best, even if Gonzo so desperately wished it wasn’t.

Perhaps if he got Rizzo to ditch him sooner rather than later, then hopefully it would hurt less. It wouldn’t be as painfully drawn out.

Gonzo knew his way around pain; it was always better to do it fast. It always hurt more to go slow.

So at this point Gonzo was kind of hoping the little rat would take the hint and get it over with already. Although, most of him was just wishing he stayed unaware for the rest of their lives. But unfortunately, he knew Rizzo wasn't as dumb as most people thought.

“Hey, man. Ya haven't been coming up with yer wild stunts much lately, something on yer mind?” Rizzo looked uncharacteristically hesitant when he came into their shared room on a rare day off for the Muppets and approached the blue whatever. Almost like he didn't feel welcome to check in with him anymore. Not that he’s honestly tried these past weeks, which mostly was due to Gonzo trying to avoid the little rat.

“Nothing much.” Gonzo replied shortly, not missing the way Rizzo frowned from the other side of their shared room. He really was hoping that’d be the end of it, but Rizzo stubbornly pressed on.

“Are ya sure, man? Ya have been kinda distant lately.”

Gonzo sighed, sadly. He was really going to miss moments like this, just the two of them hanging out in their shared space and enjoying each other's company. He supposed he could just move into Camilla's room instead, and Rizzo would probably be happier rooming with Pepe anyways.

“I’m fine, Rizzo. Don’t worry about it.” The blue whatever picked up his pencil, trying to jot down a few more stunt ideas. That were less of him.

“Ya know ya can talk to me about anything, man-”

“I said I’m fine! Just drop it!” Rizzo looked almost as surprised as Gonzo was at his own outburst.

The blue whatever tried to shakily laugh it off. “Uh, sorry about that, Rizzo. I don’t know what got into me.” He tried to push down the bitterness that had been rising since their fight all those weeks ago. However, Rizzo was not about to let it slide.

“No, no, no, don't 'cha do that to me, man. Clearly ya do. Ya have been acting strange for weeks now, and I wanna know why. And I wanna to know now.”

Gonzo frowned at the little rat's insistent tone. It wasn’t often that he got this angry at any of his friends. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this angry with Rizzo before. It was truly an unwelcome feeling. But once he started, it was difficult to stop.

"Well, you haven’t cared to know these past few weeks. Why care now?”

“Oh, is that what this is about? Me not giving ya enough attention?” Rizzo couldn't help the sarcasm. He was still a rat after all.

“No.” Gonzo mumbled as he rolled his eyes, irritated.

“Well, then enlighten me, man. What has got ya so worked up lately? We barely talk, and yer all snippy with me. C'mon, man, we're roommates, aren't we? I’m yer best pal, but it don’t feel like yer mine.” The little rat interrogated firmly.

“Are you?” Rizzo sent him a hurt look, and Gonzo wanted to take it back as soon as he said it. But he couldn't; he was too upset.

“...‘Course I am. Why... why wouldn’t I be?” It was so strange to hear Rizzo sound so insecure. Gonzo didn’t like it at all.

“Because...” The blue whatever hesitated, but he supposed this was it. He wanted to push it off longer, but he knew this was for the best. For both of them. “Because you just don’t like me, Rizzo. And that’s okay.” The little rat’s jaw dropped at this statement.

“Okay?! What exactly gave ya that impression, man?” Rizzo snapped, masking his hurt feelings with sarcasm.

“Well, lately all I seem to do is get in your way. My acts and stunts are too much, too crazy, too me. I get us into trouble, and I ruin things for you, Rizzo! I mean, I get it. I’m frustrating to be around, I don’t listen well, and you shouldn’t have to deal with my mess all the time, you’re not Kermit, after all. I just feel like you’d probably be better off with a different roommate.” Gonzo looked away, not wanting to see the acknowledgement of the painful truth on Rizzo’s face. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship because I’m too much. Besides, I don’t really bring much to the table beside my stunts, and I barely even do them right anymore. I’m useless to you and everyone else.”

It was silent for a moment before he heard Rizzo get up. Gonzo winced; guess this was it. It was great while it lasted. So great.

The blue whatever nearly jumped out of his skin when Rizzo latched onto him furiously.

“Rizzo, what are you doing?” The little rat held him tighter.

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!” Gonzo looked down at him, in shock.

“But-”

“No! No buts right now, man. It’s my turn to talk.” Rizzo pulled him away a bit to look up at his blue roommate’s eyes. “First of all, I don’t ever want a different roommate, so ya get that thought out of yer head! Second of all, ya are absolutely not useless to me or to any of the others. And if anyone says differently, I’ll be sure to give them a piece of my mind! Third of all, where is all this coming from, man?! Ya think yer ruining our friendship? How could ya even think that? Gonzo, you are my best friend! From the moment ya smashed into the wall I was living in, I knew we were gonna be pals forever, man. I mean, ya are an amazing artist and performer, and ya saw something special in me, one crummy rat out of a batch of one thousand two hundred seventy-four. No one else did, man. Ya believed in me, ya got Kermit to take me in, and ya treated me like I was one of a kind. No one else has ever done that for me, Gonzo. So, how can ya say ya ruin things for me when you changed my life for the better?”

The little rat’s voice shook at the end, but it in no way took away from the meaning of his words. Gonzo was speechless for a moment before shakily continuing. 

“I-I appreciate you saying all that, Rizzo, but I-I’m not really good for much. I always get us into trouble; I’m just not worth the stress I put you through!”

Gonzo tried to wipe away the tears forming in his eyes as the little rat pulled him close.

“Hey, hey, enough of that, man! It’s not true, ya bring a lot more to the table than ya know. Why, yer a crazy, incredibly talented artist, Gonzo. Where’d ya get all these stupid thoughts from, huh? Has something been bothering ya, man? Or someone?”

Rizzo had a protective edge to his tone as he racked his brain to see if he’d seen anyone give his blue roommate a hard time these past few weeks.

“I-I thought you wanted me to be l-less?” Gonzo’s voice cracked. He didn’t understand; he thought that Rizzo wanted less of all of that weird and bizarre stuff.

All of what makes Gonzo, Gonzo.

“What? Where’d ya get that idea, man?” Rizzo looked up at him again, in complete shock. The little rat tried to think of anything that happened that would make Gonzo think that, but he couldn’t come up with anything.

“A f-few weeks ago, after I messed up your shot with Yolanda, you were not happy with me. You said that you wanted me to be l-less me.”

Rizzo’s jaw dropped again. He said what? No, surely he didn’t. Although the more he thought about it, he did have a vague recollection of saying something like that. Another unpleasant conversation with a certain king prawn came to mind, where he was certain his good friend was very wrong.

Oh Cheesus, what has he done?

“Aw geez, me and my stupid trap. Looks like I owe Pepe an apology too.” Rizzo muttered before looking back up at his blue roommate, his sensitive rodent heart breaking at the pain in his best friend’s eyes. “I'm real sorry, man. I shouldn't have said that. It’s not true at all, ya hear me? I don't want ya to be any different than ya are. I mean it when I say, I wouldn't change a thing about 'cha. You are my best pal, Gonzo, y'know that right?”

“But I'm always getting in your way and getting us into trouble.” The blue whatever replied, shakily.

“Listen, man, ya get us out of trouble just as often. And even when ya don’t, all of that trouble is worth it so long as you get to show the audience how incredible you are, man.” Rizzo pulled Gonzo back into a hug. “I don’t ever want ya to be less, ya got that? I’m sorry I said different but, yer amazing man. Just the way you are.”

Gonzo clung to his tiny roommate tightly. He was so happy, so hopeful that Rizzo was telling the truth. A truth that he had been too hurt from his past to accept as true.

“Thank you, Rizzo.” It was almost a whisper, but the little rat still heard him.

“No need to thank me, man.” The sarcastic rat said softly.

“Y’know, you said that I changed your life, Rizzo, but I don’t think you realize how much you’ve changed mine.” Gonzo pulled back from the hug, feeling guilty for doubting his little roommate's loyalty.

“How? By being a jerk to ya and making ya think yer too much?” Rizzo snorted self-deprecatingly, putting his hands on his hips. He was going to be annoyed at himself for hurting his blue roommate for some time.

“Oh, Rizzo! You didn't let me talk down on myself, and I don't want to hear you do it either, alright? Look, I’ve been thinking this way long before I met you. So please don’t hold it against yourself.” Gonzo said, in a strangely serious tone.

“Have ya ever told anyone about this?” Rizzo asked, dropping his hands to his side. He figured his blue roommate would have opened up to his girlfriend about this by now, or at the very least Kermit would have sniffed this issue out by now.

“Yeah, I confided in Camilla about this years ago. I mean, I couldn’t believe someone as kind and beautiful as her could love someone like me. But she really does.” Gonzo had such a hopeful smile on his face. It was so different than the lovesick grin he usually had when talking about his chicken girlfriend. “And Kermit reached out to me about it one day too. Camilla swore she didn’t tell him; I guess he just knew somehow.”

“Heh, that’s Kermit for ya.” Rizzo chuckled. He sure was bang on about all that. “Glad they were able to help ya, man.”

“Yeah, they definitely did, but actually, Rizzo, it was really you who finally convinced me I was truly worth anything in the end. Before you, I was just a little blue freak all by myself who performed failing act after failing act on my brief appearances on the early days of the Muppet Show. I was lucky enough to be Camilla’s boyfriend, and Kermit and the others still had faith in me, which really helped, but it was tough. For all the work I put in to create the most extraordinary and bizarre acts in the show, it took a while for anyone to appreciate what I do. Including myself. And you know me, Rizzo. Every performance I do is likely to leave a big mess by the time I’m finished.”

Rizzo had to agree with that. Although Gonzo's big heart and his inspiring creativity were always in the right place, he often just made situations worse.

“But after I met you and we became friends, everything changed. You joined the Muppets, and most people would have found their knack in performing and moved on to do just that. You didn’t.”

“Well, yeah. Performing solo isn’t really my thing, and I prefer to just help out backstage and with everybody else’s acts, y'know that, man.” Rizzo said, a bit embarrassedly.

“You still could have gone on like that without sticking with me. But you insisted on it. And to be honest, it was really surprising to me, Rizzo. I mean, nobody besides Camilla ever wanted to be as close to me as you. I was more used to getting made fun of, then booed off stage, getting a bit of encouragement from Kermit, and then heading back to my old place, alone.” Gonzo continued, his voice shifting into a sadder one as Rizzo gritted his teeth at the reminder.

Gonzo still had the occasional nightmare about the terrifying loneliness that plagued him for so long. It broke his sensitive rat heart every time he had to comfort his blue roommate after those tough dreams. Rizzo sighed and pulled him close again, which Gonzo seemed grateful for the affection, based on the way he snuggled closer to the little rat. “I’ve always kind of expected you to realize I was more trouble than I was worth. All of my previous pals I was close with, like you, did eventually. Some of them were even roommates with me too.”

Rizzo was a bit surprised. It made sense that Gonzo had previous close friends or roommates before him. He just never thought about it before.

“Well, they sure don’t sound like good pals, pal.” The little rat said protectively.

“Yeah.” Gonzo chuckled, humorlessly. “It wasn’t until I met you that I realized they weren’t.”

“Really? Well, I’ll be honest too, man, I know I’m not exactly the best to get along with. I mean, I can be a harsh and bitter rat, man. I was also surprised that ya were so cool with me tagging along with ya. I mean, c'mon! Give yerself some credit, man! Yer a pretty lovable, uh, whatever.” Rizzo said earnestly. He was an insecure little creature too, after all. He couldn’t let Gonzo have all the fun there.

The blue whatever smiled down at his friend before it slipped away as he continued. “Awww, Rizzo. I appreciate you staying with me, really. I always tried my best to get people I thought were my friends in the past to stay. I’d try to impress them with my daring feats as much as I could, to show them I was good for something, but it never worked. It was always too much. After a while, I figured that I was the problem. I thought that maybe the reason they would get so upset with me all the time was because I just wasn’t a good, worthwhile friend to them. I tried so hard to be good, but I was always just a worthless weirdo.”

Rizzo tightened his grip on the blue arms around him, feeling a protective rage rise within his tiny body. Gonzo wasn’t worthless. The sarcastic rat hated that his best friend felt like that; it just wasn’t right.

“You changed that.”

Rizzo looked up at the blue whatever. “Me?”

“Yeah! I met you, and suddenly it didn’t really matter if I was too weird or useless, or worthless, or anything. You didn’t seem to mind any of those parts of me that drove people away in the past. You showed me what it was like to have a true friend that wouldn’t leave me.”

“Really?” Rizzo’s mind was so focused on all the negative words about himself Gonzo was spewing, he almost missed the genuine compliment his blue roommate was giving him.

“Really, Rizzo! You’re my best friend, and you’ve always been there for me no matter what. Which is why I owe you an apology.” Gonzo sighed guiltily as Rizzo pulled away from the blue whatever again sharply, giving him an outraged look.

“Why would ya need to apologize? I’m the one who messed up so bad.” The little rat inquired, incredibly confused.

“Yeah. But I shouldn’t have been so dramatic about it.” Gonzo held up a hand to stop his little friend’s immediate protests. “Listen, buddy, I let my insecurities get the best of me. I let my past poor close friendships affect my current great one. I shouldn’t have distanced myself from you, and I definitely shouldn’t have gotten upset with you. I should have talked this out with you before, Rizzo. I’m sorry.”

The little rat just shook his head fondly; this blue weirdo was nothing but a big softie. “Alright, okay, pal. I forgive you for all that. But I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have snapped at you in the first place, and I shoulda checked in with you a lot earlier. I guess Pepe was right for once, huh?” The two roommates laughed a bit before Rizzo stopped. He made sure to look up at Gonzo, making direct eye contact, causing him to pause.

“Rizzo?”

“Look, man, regardless of all that, I need ya to listen very closely. This is important.” Gonzo tilted his head confusedly but gave his rodent roommate his full attention. Rizzo's usually sarcastic tone was quite serious, and he knew that meant the little rat was about to say something that meant a lot to him. “Gonzo, you’re my best friend. Y’know, I lie all the time, but I would never, ever lie to ya about something like this. So believe me when I say, ya are not useless. And ya are definitely not worthless. I never want ya to be less ever. I want ya to be as wonderfully weird as ya can be, man, ya got that?” Rizzo finished firmly.

A warm smile spread across Gonzo’s face, and this time it didn’t slip away. He didn't know what to say back, so he pulled Rizzo back into one last big hug. And if he shed more than a few tears onto Rizzo’s head, he didn’t complain. Like he usually would.

“Thank you, Rizzo. That means more to me than you could ever know.” Gonzo smiled after he pulled away from the hug to see the little rat wiping away some tears of his own. “Y’know that was so sincere you almost sounded like Kermit.”

Rizzo grinned. “Hey, I’ll take it! But if I ever start to nag like him, ya better snap me out of it!”

“Will do!” Gonzo chuckled before getting an idea. “Hey, I bet I could get Camilla to convince Yolanda to give you another chance! Maybe we could all go on a double date?"

“Hey, now we’re talking! But ya listen here, man. Don’t ya dare tone anything down on that date. If she can’t accept my roommate at his best, then she’s not the one for me.” Rizzo said firmly.

Gonzo smiled again, feeling tears come back into his eyes. “Check, buddy!”

When they’re right, they’re right.