Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hope.

I had no idea what it meant. Until that time…

Oh, me? I’m merely a student in the Hope’s Peak Academy Reserve Course. I don’t have any talents, and I also don’t have any friends. I don’t know why I was even born and why I’m still here, but hey, I just need to go on without knowing. Ignorance can be blissful at times. Maybe I don’t have a purpose and I’m just a side character. Oh wait, I’m the protagonist of this work, so… yeah, not even the writer of this knows what his own purpose is.

Anyway! You know what happened in the Despair Arc of the anime, yadayada… so, I somehow miraculously survived the mass killing of the Reserve Course! How, you might ask? Plot armor! Duh. I’m the literal protagonist, the story would’ve ended too soon had I died this early on. So, all I got was a couple of severe injuries!

Well, I’d passed out, and I was taken to a base of some sort… when I woke up, this really cute nurse with long, black hair was dressing my wounds. Maybe she’d done an operation on me?

“Hm? A-ah, beloved! He’s awake!”

She seemed a bit timid, but also not really… maybe it was selective courage? But then, oh my… oh man. Oh MAN. The absolute most stunning, jaw-droppingly BEAUTIFUL woman I’d EVER seen just walked into the room. Pink twintails, blue eyes, and her outfit which seemed to be made of trendy pieces… oh man. I KNEW she was a whole jackpot. I couldn’t even speak.

“Hmm, what do we have hereeee? A Reserve Course student who survived? Unheard of! Despair truly is unpredictable!!”

“…Ah… Madam…”

I found myself addressing her formally without even consciously being aware of it. Oh, how I fell hard for her.

“Since you’re so unpredictable even as an ordinary person, I’ll provide you with a special task.”

A task? A beautiful woman was about to make me be of use to her?? This felt like a dream!

“I only ask of you to kill this guy.”

She pointed to that familiar face on the photograph in her hand. It was Nagito Komaeda, the Ultimate Lucky Student, well-known for the chaos caused by his apparent fortune.

“You want me to…”

“Correct. And even if you fail in one timeline, I have the means to let you repeat it again!”

She handed me a metal bracelet with a digital clock on it.

“Use this. Turn back time if you need to by setting the date and time on this clock. You know how to do that, right?”

Of course I did.

“Well then, off you go to find the guy in this timeline! Will this mission bring you the ultimate despair? Let’s find out!”

I see… so parallel timelines, and it’s up to me to complete this mission… and now I have a reason to kill that guy. I won’t let you down, Mistress!

Chapter Text

I walked through the lands of destruction to find my target. Nagito Komaeda… that name brought a bitter taste to my mouth. I couldn’t help but feel as if I were up against a final boss of sorts.

I decided to arm myself before I tried anything. So, I looked around, and managed to find a dagger at what seemed to be a now-damaged camp. The whole place was burned down, dear god. If I had to stay somewhere, it would not be here. I found a couple of gun pouches and a belt as well, so I kept the dagger inside one of them, and tied the belt around my waist. Wow, I truly was a bit lucky around here! This base was so salvageable! I admired myself in a large piece of shattered glass for a moment, before I got back into work mode.

“No time to gush over my new look.”

Tying my hair up into a ponytail, I set off. I took note to remember that these findings could very well be my target’s ‘bad luck’. According to my knowledge, his luck is a big 50/50. If something bad happens to him, then something good of equal value will happen to him next. I’d played the game, watched the anime, and analyzed everything. Of COURSE I’d know this much, being the protagonist of this story and all, since the writer is a fan of the original media.

I turned back time using the device that the mistress had given me. The timeline was the same as back when I didn’t have the device or my new belt and dagger. I hid my weapon under my blazer. Man, this school has NOT invested in a good security service. Once I got in, my mission began.

Anyway, since I’m in the Reserve Course, it was easy for me to get started with my plan. Using a telescope from the astronomy club (does the Reserve Course even have clubs? Probably…), I went to the rooftop to observe my target. There he was, in the Main Course grounds right next door… I mentally cheered, thinking that this job wasn’t about to be that difficult. But wait, of course it would be difficult! If this is his stroke of bad luck, then that means if I tried to attack now, it would result in a fail! Timing and patience is key. I have to wait until something good happens to him in order to win.

Then, the most infuriating thing happened… another student— I think the gamer?— tapped his shoulder and pointed to… ME!? He looked right at the telescope’s lens, and SMILED. With that IRRITATING SMILE. And waved at me. Almost as if he were mocking me. THAT filled me to the brim with fury. I took the telescope back inside, seething. God, I hope I can kill him soon… wait, I CAN! This was a good thing that happened to him, right!? I can set up my mission!!

I waited outside the school building that evening, ready to ambush that insane, hopeful guy named Nagito Komaeda. Eventually, I saw his tufts of white hair, ohhhh boy… I took a deep breath to calm myself. He walked over to the entrance, and then onto the main road, not noticing an incoming pickup truck— wait, WHAT!?

“WATCH OUT!!”

Without thinking, I hurriedly pushed him out of the way. The truck crashed into a nearby electricity pole. The drivers got out and cursed at both me AND him, but being the absolute pinnacle of anger issues that I was, I got up and cursed at them back, calling them blind for not noticing a very obvious idiot on the road.

Once it was all done, I turned back to my target, who was already up and dusting himself. I chose to blatantly avert my gaze from him while he smiled at me. It pissed me off.

“Ah, was that an act of hope? It truly was wonderful to witness! Thank you, um… I never got your name.”

“That’s unimportant!”

Geez, I could’ve just let him get hit by the truck, but then that HAD to happen. Oh well, I haven’t run out of options…

Chapter Text

Day 2 in this timeline! I stared out of my window in my classroom, lost in thought. Then, a baseball came flying through the glass! Thankfully, I ducked under the table in time… I looked out the broken window and saw the baseball star of the Main Course sheepishly waving at me. Next to him was… my target. Oh god.

“Sorry about that!! Think you can toss the ball back to us?”

He called out. Honestly? The baseball player looked pretty cool. I liked his fashion style. Deciding to stay on his good side, I tossed the ball back to him. I DID glare at my target, though he flashed his irritating smile at me.

I was tired after my school day. I didn’t have any friends, so I had no plans of doing anything other than focusing on my mission. That’s when the whole Reserve Course seemed to have received an email…

“The academy is only using you all for money to conduct their experiments and research into talent!”
(Or whatever it said in the anime… this is just a paraphrase of it. The writer of this work has bad memory.)

This sent the whole Reserve Course into a riot. I couldn’t help but feel a bit… scared, honestly. My legs felt weak, and my heart rate was up… this was a good opportunity to strike, so why…? Why couldn’t I do it?

“…Mistress, give me strength…”

I wanted to scream. But I sucked it up and went outside. There was a whole lot of protestors, and many guards trying to regulate them. I felt… afraid. I watched as the guards beat up some of the students. I couldn’t bear it. I took out my dagger and rushed in to defend them. Though, I only injured the guards’ legs. I couldn’t bear to kill anyone outside of my target.

I ran… and kept running. Where to? I didn’t know. Then, I caught sight of… Mistress!? I stopped in my tracks. She was blackmailing one of the staff! As impressed as I was, I also didn’t know if she’d recognize me, so I took the safer way out.

I went to the statue of the academy’s founder, and saw that the ground near it was open… how did someone even discover this passage?? Or maybe a staff member had opened it and forgot to close it in a rush? I took a deep breath, and went downstairs. That’s when I heard a gunshot.

“…!”

That scared me. I took a deep breath to try to calm my racing heart (in vain), and went down the stairs.

“Komaeda-kun! Hang in there, Komaeda-kun!”

It was the voice of a girl! There was no going back now. I saw an entrance to a room, and peeked inside. My target was laying on the floor, reaching out to the person in front of him, and there was that gamer girl making sure that he’s okay. And oh dear god, the man with the gun looked rather powerful…

(Hear me out right now.)

That was truly THE hottest man I’ve ever seen in my entire life. But I had to focus. My target was still alive… THE GOOD THING!! Now was my chance—

I ran inside and was this close to attacking my target with my dagger, when the gamer girl suddenly pushed me away.

“Gh—!”

“What do you think you’re doing!?”

Oh dear. She seemed mad. I couldn’t answer. I hate it when I anger girls, it feels dishonorable (because it is).

“I…”

My heart was racing. I was scared. The powerful man before me didn’t even bother holding up his gun. I could feel myself shaking at his gaze. Dear god, it was making me feel things that would classify me as ‘not straight’…

“You. Why did you barge in here?”

The powerful (yet also really hot) man asked me.

“I… I… I…”

“And who were you trying to attack with that dagger? I’ll assume it’s me?”

“No! Not you!”

I said, regaining my confidence.

“I was trying to kill THAT guy!!”

I pointed at the passed out Nagito. The powerful man narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“Is that so? But are you not a regular human, someone who believes in the elimination of all talent? If you were assigned to assassinate someone, would it not have been me, the pinnacle of all talent?”

“You’re not my target! I… I wasn’t assigned to kill you! The mistress in the other timeline had—”

“Pause. Mistress? ‘Other timeline’?”

“…Haha, well, this might sound crazy, but…”

I showed him the device and explained everything to him. He inspected the device on my arm curiously, while I was trying so hard not to fall to my knees and start spouting literal romantic poetry to this jaw-dropping, stunning, beautiful man.

“This is… fascinating. To think that Enoshima would be capable of creating an invention so powerful… she truly is something else.”

My brain was screaming “Look at me, look at me” to him. I felt a bit too giddy for my own good, having my arm so close to this man. I did dare to lightly brush his sleeve, which he ignored. It was clear that he was more interested in the device than in me, which disappointed me a little, but it didn’t surprise me. Still, it stung.

Then, I noticed that the gamer girl and Nagito were… GONE!? I must’ve been so distracted that I missed them!!

“I’m sorry, soon-to-be Master, but I need to go!!”

I was about to reach the entrance, when he stopped me.

“Halt.”

I turned around shakily, thinking I messed up.

“I want to see just how interesting you can make this. Since you have the power of time travel, show me whether Nagito’s hope or your despair will win. I won’t place a wager. I just want to witness the ending of this story, and the future of this timeline.”

A request from the man himself… I won’t let you down, Master! With a determined nod, I rushed off to find that damned target of mine. I can’t attack him if he’s accompanied by someone, so I’ll have to look for an opportunity when he’s alone, which won’t be possible right now… just a little more!

Chapter Text

And so, I ended up rushing into the mass destruction outside. Oh no… I saw a rocket crash into the school, what the hell!? I was blown backwards a bit from the impact. The ground shook like an earthquake. I kept running. I ran outside into the city, which was covered in dark red smog. I couldn’t stop my heart from pounding. I was scared. So very afraid. I was shaking, but I still ran. Buildings crashed to the ground and obstructed my path, and I ended up focusing on survival. I was getting tired, but I’d die if I didn’t get out of here… I wanted to cry. This stress was too much to take.

I broke down in a clearing and collapsed to my knees, and just wailed. Is this what despair truly felt like? I didn’t know.

“I WANT TO GO HOOOOME!!!!”

I screamed that out between my loud wails, wanting it all to come to an end already. When I’d calmed down to just sniffling, I heard some light footsteps, and the clinking of a chain. I turned to see… my target, in a vastly different outfit, with a chain around his neck, like a dog. He didn’t look as happy as he used to. He looked like… he’d become a version of himself that had given up. It scared me. I couldn’t hold back a sniffle of pure fear.

“Hm? You’re the student who was watching me from the rooftop, and the same one who had saved me from that truck, and also the one who had tried to kill me when I’d encountered the product of the Izuru Kamukura project… do you want to save me, or do you want to kill me? Make up your mind.”

His eerily cheerful smile made me back away and instinctively pull out my dagger. He stepped forward, with his hands behind his back.

“I won’t resist if you killed me. After all, if I die in your hands, it’ll fuel your hope, won’t it? But maybe hope means something different for you? Either way, I won’t show resistance.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and steeled myself. This wasn’t the same Ultimate Lucky Student I knew. This was someone else altogether. It angered me, just how much of him was taken away by despair. Wait, why did I feel like this? I didn’t know. I stepped closer hesitantly with my dagger, pointing it at him. He showed no resistance, and still smiled.

I rushed forward suddenly.

“HAAA—!”

I knocked him to the ground and thrust the dagger into his stomach. He did groan with pain, but he laughed heartily. It was scary. I repeatedly thrust the dagger into him multiple times, the blood staining my cheeks.

“AHAHAHA! THIS IS IT, THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE DESPAIR THAT WILL MAKE WAY FOR THE HOPE THAT WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!”

I could barely understand the nonsense that he was saying. I could only scream, cry, and stab him over and over.

“GIVE HIM BACK TO ME! THIS ISN’T THE ONE I WAS AFTER!! GIVE. HIM. BACK. TO. MEEEE…!!!”

For a moment before he went limp, I could’ve sworn that I saw a hint of genuine happiness in his eerie smile. I was trembling. What had I done? My dagger, my clothes, my face, my hands… they were stained with his blood. I wanted to scream. I didn’t want to look at myself. I could see my reflection in the puddle of his blood nearby. I hated it. I looked hideous.

“It… ended… but why… why does it hurt so much…?”

I couldn’t stop shaking. My heart was pounding, and my breathing was unstable. My head was unstable. This was my truest despair. I’d completed the mistress’s task, but to me, it felt like I’d killed the wrong person. He’d already given up. This wasn’t the same irritating guy I knew.

“…If I could redo this… if I could make this right… if I wasn’t too late to do this when he hadn’t ended up this way…”

I ended up screaming, crying, and wailing right there for a long while, before I decided that it was enough. I remembered the device on my wrist.

“I’ll catch you before this happens… and when I do, trust me… I will demolish you.”

I whispered that promise in his corpse’s ear, as if he could hear me from the land of the dead. I don’t know why I ended up hugging it tightly, as if it were something precious to me, but I let it go, and stood back up.

“…Let me redo everything.”

I used the device and turned back time. Nagito Komaeda, I will find you and kill you before despair takes ahold of you.

Chapter Text

And so, I went back in time again.

“I will redo it. I will find you, and kill you before you lose all hope.”

It all played out the same, except I didn’t end up meeting the mysterious, hot, powerful man from the last timeline. Ah, how I missed him… was it love at first sight, or was it simply a sinful desire? I didn’t know. I pushed those thoughts aside, to focus on my mission at hand. I had to find my target before despair influenced him.

I searched everywhere, even inside the damaged academy. There, I could hear the mistress’s laughter. It oddly scared me. But why? I could hear the sounds of a girl screaming… wait, was that the gamer girl!? I ran over to wherever the sound was coming from. To my horror, I saw a screen showing how the mistress was torturing the girl, and then…

…Ah. It was that scene in the anime. Where everyone in the class fell into despair because of the gamer girl’s death. It made me wince. I saw how everyone was in pure despair. And my target… oh, he was the worst of them all. I was too scared to even go near him. I rushed out as soon as I could, and they all burned down the school. I’d failed to kill him before he fell into despair, again.

I encountered him in front of the school gates, and he gave me a wave with that eerie smile.

“Oh, it’s you! Did you come to attend our graduation? Oh wait, the Reserve Course isn’t allowed to attend the Main Course’s matters… but how does that matter now? This despair is amazing! I’m sure that the brightest hope will stem from it soon!”

I wanted to shake him. I wanted to demand that he come back to me, that he let go of that despair. I wanted to see that irritatingly cheerful smile again, even though I’d seen it multiple times before. I just wanted reassurance that I was doing things right. But his smile remained eerie, and his body language still felt like he’d given up. I felt like breaking down into tears on the spot.

“…Why… why did it have to turn out like this… again…”

He was confused when he heard my words spoken while I was half-choking on the tears that I was holding back.

“‘Again’?”

“It doesn’t matter!! Are you willing to die in the name of hope or not??”

That made him laugh heartily.

“But of course! I always am. Hope is my reason to live, and my reason to die. If I die as a stepping stone towards someone’s hope, then what more could I ask for?”

I badly wanted to wail and shake him by the shoulders, and demand him back. But I knew that this was the finale of this timeline.

“You… I…”

I pulled out my dagger.

“…I couldn’t kill you properly this time, either… I’m sorry…”

He put up no resistance when I thrust the knife into him. I couldn’t help but sob as I witnessed him fall to the ground, limp, a second time.

“…I promise… I’ll get you next time. And if not, I’ll redo this again and again, until I can kill you properly.”

Again, I ended up holding his corpse in my arms tightly, whispering that promise as if he could hear me.

“You are my sole target… and I will make sure to take you out properly.”

Chapter Text

“What? I’ve been selected as the Ultimate Time Traveler!?”

I’d received the letter the second I walked into the school during my third time reset. What the hell…? I was about to take this mission undercover!! But I had no choice, so I sighed, sucked it up, and walked into the Main Course building. I was supposed to go to… CLASS 77-B!? This HAD to be a joke. That was the SAME CLASS THAT MY TARGET WAS IN!!! Taking a deep breath in front of the door, I slid it open.

“I’m coming i—”

A crumpled up lump of paper struck my forehead.

“…”

“Ah! I sincerely apologize for that!!!”

A really pretty blonde girl spoke up. I couldn’t help but be captivated by her.

“It’s… okay…”

I felt like getting on one knee on the spot. Dear god, she was GORGEOUS. She picked up the crumpled piece of paper, and tossed it in the trash from a small distance away.

“I did it!!”

It was an adorable sight, her smile. But I stopped myself before I could get lost in my thoughts. I looked at the other people in the class. They all had unique quirks and personalities. Among them was the gamer girl, who was so lost in her games that she didn’t even notice me. I felt too awkward to greet her due to what I’d witnessed in the previous timelines, so I chose to not approach her. Then…

“Good morni— AAAA!!!”

It was that nurse girl! She’d tripped and fallen on the floor, and landed in a rather… questionable position. I covered my eyes and turned away immediately.

“I’m sorry!! I’m so sorryyyyy!!!”

It felt a little awkward to see her like this when I’d seen her as a servant of the mistress in the ‘prologue’ timeline, so I chose to stay away from her too. Honestly, I chose to stay away from everyone. The pretty blonde girl too, and the adorably eccentric guy who was taking care of his pets, they didn’t receive my attention for now. I had a task to focus on.

Right then, I spotted my target with a whole lot of soda cans in his bag at a table. He was setting them up in a tower formation. This was supposed to be our first meeting in this timeline, but after what happened previously, I felt a little too nervous to approach him. I felt like I’d break down in tears on the spot. He seemed to have noticed my unfamiliar presence in the room, so he gave me a wave with his irritating smile.

“Ah, hello there! Are you a new arrival to the class? Another beacon of hope for me to be the stepping stone for!”

What a strange greeting. But I expected that, knowing his personality, so it didn’t throw me off. However, I did act as if I was thrown off, which was easy, since I was awkward by nature.

“…Ah… good day to you too…”

After all those timelines I’d witnessed where he’d fallen into despair, his smile only seemed to soothe me. It felt as if nothing could go wrong. And yet, I knew better than to let my guard down. I had a job to do, and I was going to see it through to the end.

Then, the teacher walked in. She was a rather cheery and friendly lady, with orange hair tied in a ponytail similar to mine. I got major big sister-like vibes from her. I sat down, while she began her introduction.

“Good morning, class! I’m your homeroom teacher, Chisa Yukizome! I’m the former Ultimate Housekeeper, so feel free to ask me for assistance whenever you need something!”

Her personality brightened my mood a little, and filled me with determination. She felt like a hero-type character straight out of a tokusatsu show on TV. I admired her.

“Today, we have a new addition to our class! Please come up and introduce yourself.”

“Ah— Okay…”

I walked up to the front of the class awkwardly, and wrote my name on the blackboard.

“…My talent is… well, it’s dangerous, so I won’t reveal it to you. Maybe one day, when we graduate happily, I’ll reveal it to you…”

I got a bunch of ‘ooh’s and ‘ahh’s from the others, except from one; Nagito. He stared at me with a curious expression.

“Is it really that dangerous?”

“Yes, it is… and it’s unbelievable. It’s better to know it only when you truly believe in me.”

I responded with whatever confidence I could muster. I couldn’t back down against this guy. He looked a little surprised, but then, he laughed that annoying laugh.

“Ahahaha! So, your hope is so powerful that it has to be kept under control? I hope to bring it out of you one day!”

“You really don’t…”

I muttered to myself.

“Hm? What was that?”

“Nothing! None of your business!”

I snapped back, and went back to my seat. I must’ve looked arrogant, because the apparent gymnast started to talk.

“Wow, the new guy’s got a bit of attitude in there! He’s almost got as much as Fuyuhiko!”

The gangster-esque guy, whose name was apparently Fuyuhiko, seemed angered by that.

“Who are you comparing me to, bastard!?”

I had to suppress a chuckle at their banter. It reminded me of myself and my younger sister back at home. Oh wait, have I never mentioned it? Well, if you know the writer of this work personally, he has a younger sister! Don’t tell her that he adores her plenty, though; the sibling banter must go on for ages to come.

Anyway, it seemed like the whole class could just do whatever the hell they wanted during school hours, so I was bored out of my mind. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, so I stepped outside the homeroom. I looked at my reflection in one of the glass windows.

“It’s… me.”

Wow. I looked terrible. I took a deep breath, and steadied myself.

“It’s gonna be okay… oh wait, I should ask the principal about how I got my talent assigned. There’s no way they found out I can actually time travel, right?”

I headed to the principal’s office, and knocked the door.

“Come in.”

A rather stern yet fatherly voice spoke up. Somehow, it hurt knowing that my own father never felt like that. Whoever was this man’s kid, they seem fortunate… or not. I can’t make my judgment too quickly. I opened the door, and walked inside.

There was a middle-aged man at the desk. The nameplate on it said ‘Jin Kirigiri’.

“Have a seat.”

He told me. I sat down in front of him, and he folded his hands on the surface of the desk.

“Did you need something?”

“Yes, I would like to ask about my talent and how you came to find out about it.”

He thought for a moment.

“Your talent is…?”

“The Ultimate Time Traveler. There is absolutely no way you could’ve found that out through normal means. I’m originally a student from the Reserve Course, but you found out about my ability to travel through time. It’s rather strange.”

“…We’d gotten info about you from another student in the Main Course. They said that they’d come to know of your talent, since they were the one who designed the device on your wrist.”

“Wait, you don’t mean—”

I hurriedly looked at the device.

“…Who was the student?”

“The Ultimate Fashionista, Junko Enoshima.”

“!?”

That shook me to the core. So, the mistress in this timeline knew of the device?! But how…!? It made no sense!

“You look shaken up… is something the matter?”

“Something isn’t right with this timeline… I’ll have to investigate this more. Thank you for the info.”

I stood up and bowed, and went out of the office, rethinking everything. So, the mistress knew about my device… then, while walking, I bumped into someone.

“Agh—!”

I fell to the floor on my rear.

“Ow…”

A familiar pale hand reached out to help me up.

“Hello again! Didn’t see you there, you looked like you were lost in thought.”

It was Nagito.

“I… Shut up!! I can get up by myself just fine!!”

I got up from the floor and dusted myself, hoping to regain some sense of dignity. My target laughed at my vain attempts, while I could only seethe.

“You still hope to keep your dignity, even after that outburst… that’s true hope I see, alright!”

Then, he noticed the device on my wrist.

“Hm? What’s this?”

“Ah—!”

He began to inspect it.

“A watch, of sorts, with a time adjuster, likely for traveling… but this model still isn’t in the market. Ah, could it be that you’re a tester of it? How hopeful! To bring feedback to the creators in order for them to see how to appeal to their customers and expand their business…!”

“Ah… haha, yeah…”

I could only laugh it off.

“Maybe your talent is… the Ultimate Critic? Or the Ultimate Beta Tester? Ahahaha! I can sense the hope radiating off of you!!”

“That’s… not even close… I told you that my talent is dangerous…”

“And I’m going to find it, and become a stepping stone to the true potential of the hope it holds.”

He sounded so determined… much like me, when I promised to kill him before he fell into despair.

“You won’t ever know what my true ‘hope’ is. Maybe I don’t have it at all, or maybe, it’s simply too dangerous for you. Either way, I suggest that you stop persisting.”

“Ahaha! One thing that you must know is that, as the aspiring stepping stone for the hope of all the Ultimates, I can be rather stubborn.”

There really was no reasoning with this guy. I sighed, and nodded with reluctant resignation. Seems I’d have to form a new strategy…

“…Okay, then… suit yourself.”

Nothing much really happened after that. Until after school, when it began to rain. I waited for a long while, and at one point, the whole school was empty, save for me. The rain didn’t stop its steady pace. I sighed, thinking that I’d have to sleep here, until…

“Stranded?”

My target had found me again.

“I don’t have an umbrella, but I can provide you with company! We could use our blazers as makeshift umbrellas, though.”

…Right… why didn’t I think of that? I’m so stupid.

“…Right, I knew that!”

I spoke indignantly, and removed my blazer, holding it above my head. He did the same with his own, and we walked in the rain together. Then suddenly, he played some moderate-speed music on his phone.

“Are you fond of waltzing?”

“What? A waltz? I’ve never done one before, why?”

“I’ll teach you.”

Without a single chance to protest, I was pulled in by the hands, and I was already set to step in that 1-2-3 rhythm. Our blazers had slipped off from our heads, so we were drenched in the cold rainwater. Yet, we continued. It took a few tries, but I was somewhat able to do it. He seemed pleased by the way I was catching onto the steps.

“Wonderful! Maybe your talent is the Ultimate Dancer?”

“…Not even close in the slightest… it’s a dangerous talent, remember?”

“But being a dancer can be dangerous, to people’s hearts, that is! Isn’t that so very hopeful?”

“…You’re such a strange guy.”

I really didn’t understand him. I couldn’t make heads or tails of his thoughts, despite being this close to him, despite having met him in three other timelines, despite knowing of his personality and talent.

The ‘rain waltz’ continued for a while, with me becoming more proficient in the steps. I was able to spin via his hand movements on time, and I was able to look him in the eyes while we stepped, most of the time. Time had seemed to stop for everything except us, and I found myself wishing that this moment could last forever, that I didn’t have to witness what I did in the other timelines. This elegance was much better than the agony I had to experience.

“…So, why are we doing this again?”

“A waltz is how the two protagonists of a story get closer to each other. A person’s eyes are windows into their soul, and a waltz amplifies that feeling by making it feel as if time has stopped for the dancers. Ah, but I’m not worthy enough to be deemed as a protagonist, so consider me as a substitute for your future secondary protagonist!”

“…Geez, you pulled me into this out of nowhere, and you have the nerve to say that?? Idiot…”

He laughed heartily as the waltz ended with a few slow taps of our shoes. Time seemed to be flowing again. It was already evening… how long had we been here for? I was still in a bit of a daze.

“You intrigue me, Ultimate Unknown.”

“What? ‘Ultimate Unknown’?”

“I want to know more about you. I want to know who you really are, and what your true hope is. I want to find all that out, and then be the stepping stone that nurtures it to its full potential. You know that I’ll stop at nothing to achieve that, right?”

“Of course… for your determination is absolute.”

“Haha, that’s right.”

And so, the rather strange day came to a close.

Chapter Text

I couldn’t stop thinking about that ‘rain waltz’ when I got back home. I found myself recreating it in my room after I’d showered, remembering Nagito’s expression, which felt reverent, alongside curious or intrigued. I remembered how time had seemed to stop for everything except us— wait, stupid me forgot to ask for the song’s name!! I had to hum it from memory. I took a mental note to ask him for the song tomorrow.

I laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling, thinking about everything that had happened today. Honestly, I was confused about myself. I’d started this mission to kill that guy because the mistress had asked me to. I’d killed him in that first timeline, as per her request. But why was I repeatedly reversing time to get to him before his despair did? I didn’t understand myself. Before I knew it, I’d fallen asleep.

I opened my eyes, and ended up in a strange, bleak land. The soil was a pale pink, and there was some white mist around the area.

“Hello?”

I went on. The space seemed endless.

“Is anyone there? My little sister? Anyone?”

I was starting to feel afraid.

“Mistress? Master? Are you there?”

I trembled. Nobody seemed to be here. I was about to cry. In a wavering voice, I called out the last name I knew.

“…Komaeda?”

Right then, a bright light flashed in front of me. Strong winds directed towards it surrounded me from all sides.

“Agh—!”

The soil was getting in my eyes. I shut them tightly while trying to hold my ground. Then, the air felt soil-free, and I opened my eyes, only to see a huge pillar of light that originated from the sky and the ground.

“…!?”

From that huge pillar of light came a gigantic, bare figure of Nagito Komaeda. His appearance was just like in reality, but his overall colors were paler, as if he weren’t even real. I was scared, shaken to the core. I wanted to run, but I couldn’t control my own body. I wanted to cry, but the shock within my fear overpowered all else.

The giant figure smiled at me, and placed his hand on the ground, signaling for me to climb into his palm. I could do nothing but obey due to my fear. I shakily climbed in, and held on tight, squealing with fear as he lifted me so high up. I had a fear of heights, so seeing how high I was made me hyperventilate and panic. I was tearing up, but not sobbing. His free hand wiped away my tears and held me securely in his palm. I was only able to face him then, with my panicked gaze. He smiled at me, so eerily gently that I couldn’t help but shiver.

“Are you a being of hope?”

“Do I look like it!?”

“Calm down. You won’t fall as long as I’m holding you.”

“Put me down!! I hate being so high up!!!”

I wanted to just burst into tears. The figure seemed to notice my distress, and placed me back on the ground.

“Better?”

“Much better… thanks…”

I paused. Then…

“Are you… Komaeda?”

“Indeed, I am.”

“Why are you like this? What is this place?”

“This place… I’m not so sure myself.”

His body was glowing. If not for my panic, he’d have looked almost ethereal in my eyes, much like a god of sorts. He bent down, and caressed my head with his finger.

“But you don’t have to worry. With the power of hope, I’ll protect you.”

His face was so close to mine, yet his breath was so slow and gentle that it felt like a mere breeze against me. I felt myself drawn to him. It was hypnotizing, mesmerizing, and I could no longer feel myself. I went closer, closer… til my face collided with his, and my hand automatically ran down wherever it could reach (the left corner of his lips). We got closer still, and I heard his voice speak again.

“I will be the one who will bring out your hope, or even create it if I have to. I will be the one who nurtures your hope to its full potential. Turn to me, bow to me, respect me, and call me the Ultimate Hope.”

Right before my lips could fully meet his, it all went black, and I woke up in a cold sweat, panting heavily. So it was just a dream… that’s right, I haven’t reversed time yet. What a strange dream.

“Ha… what time is it— oh, only 3 minutes til my alarm rings? Okay… might as well get fresh.”

So, I did. I went to class, still thinking about my dream.

Nobody else was in the room. It was just me, and… him. The last person I wanted to see after my dream.

“Ah, good morning, Ultimate Unknown! How hopeful of you to come to class extra early!”

“Uh… yeah… morning…”

The window was open, so the breeze and extra sunlight made him almost… glow. So ethereal, just like in my dream. It both scared me and mesmerized me.

“So, what are your plans for—”

I suddenly took his hands, which surprised him to the point of silence, and began to blurt out something that I never thought I’d ever have to say.

“Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Iesus. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.”

I spoke it all quite fast, so I was out of breath by the time I was done. But he was surprised at what I’d just meaninglessly blurted out. I let go of his hands and covered my mouth, shocked at myself. Why did I do that!? Why did I blurt out a biblical prayer targeted at him!? I turned away in embarrassment.

“Forget I ever said that!!”

“Wait, that prayer…”

He looked it up on his phone.

“Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.”

He thought for a moment, before he perked up with an idea.

“I got it! So, you’re referring to me as Mary herself, and in this scenario, the ‘Jesus’ I’m giving birth to is actually humanity’s hope, since that’s what he is to people who are Christians! Is that what you meant? I’m so honored to be the subject of such a prayer, I never thought that someone as worthless as me could receive it!!”

He seemed happy, but…

“That’s not what I— ugh, forget it!!”

I dashed out of the classroom with embarrassment, leaving a confused Nagito at his desk. Why did it turn out like this!? I didn’t want to have to tell him about everything that had been going on, it’d just make him more curious and intrigued, and he’d end up in danger thanks to me!!

I ended up being absent today.

Chapter Text

I spent half the night thinking of a way to apologize after I left Nagito so abruptly the previous day. I’d read that handmade gifts usually get better reactions from people, so I tried making a bracelet with the materials I’d bought from the shop that evening. It was a simple, white-stringed bracelet, with a half-heart shaped charm, which had ‘hope’ embedded on it in cursive writing. I had a matching charm for the other half, with ‘despair’ embedded on it in similar writing. So, I ended up making two bracelets. The ‘despair’ half was made for my right wrist, while the ‘hope’ one was kept in a small box to give to him tomorrow. I hoped to find him alone again, so that I could give it to him.

By the time I’d gotten to class the next morning, it was already packed, despite me having arrived 30 minutes earlier than the usual time when it filled up. I stole glances at my target from afar, hoping to catch him on his own, for an opportunity— wait, why was I so desperate for this!? He’s supposed to be my arch nemesis, isn’t he!? I swallowed my conflicting feelings, remembering my mission, and this little side quest that I’d come up with, right out of the blue. Just then, the blonde girl— Sonia, her name was— spoke up.

“Oh my! Our classmate has a little wrapped box in his hands!”

Everyone turned to look at me curiously. I could only flush in embarrassment.

“…Don’t stare at me…”

“Oh, did you find love already?”

The short chef— whose name was Teruteru— spoke up, with a small nosebleed.

“I can’t wait to see how it turns out for you… just the thought of it is turning me on…”

“Geez, stop acting like a creep, you cockroach!”

The traditional dancer— Hiyoko— spoke up in a rude tone.

“Guys, please… this gift isn’t a romantic one. It’s for a friend. I made matching bracelets for them and myself, as an apology…”

I got a lot of ‘ooh’s and ‘ahh’s from the curious students.

“An apology? Did you have a fight with them or something?”

The mechanic— Kazuichi— suddenly asked me amidst everyone’s fascination.

“Well, not really? I just kind of suddenly left them hanging yesterday, so… I want to resolve and clarify everything today. I figured that a handmade apology gift would gain a better response, so I put my feelings of remorse into it…”

That answer seemed to satisfy everyone, and they wished me good luck. It was mostly the truth, so I felt slightly relieved to get at least most of the matter off my chest. I stole a glance at my target, who was admiring everyone in the class with a strange obsession in his gaze.

Of course, I didn’t get my opportunity even after class. He went off to follow his classmates. I went back home. I cursed myself for not being able to find that opportunity. That night, I drifted into a restless sleep.

The next morning, I woke up, and checked the date— oh no. Oh no no no no no no no NO… it was the day when that email—!

I rushed out after hurriedly freshening up, and as expected, it was raining, the students of the Reserve Course were protesting, and Mikan was missing. I began to panic. Right at that moment, the door to the classroom opened up, and the familiar sound of Hiyoko’s voice sounded.

“You’re finally back, pukey pig!”

But it was a drenched Nagito.

“I’m back, everyone!”

Everyone’s smiles faded to frowns, as expected. I was the only one in a heavy panic. No, no, no… it was all going wrong again…

“I… I don’t suggest we go out at this time…”

“Why!? We have to find Tsumiki!!”

The photographer— Mahiru— spoke up.

“It’s dangerous! Those protestors are relentless, and there’s no way the people of the academy would let us all roam into the restricted areas! We won’t make it—”

“How do YOU know that!? We have to try!”

“But—!”

But everyone headed out, leaving me in a panic.

“Tch… AAAAGH!!!”

I let out a scream of frustration and rushed out after them. I had to get to Mikan… and fast. I went down those stairs, to that basement, and there was that guy… he was the animator, right? I didn’t know his name at the time, but I didn’t care.

“Get out of there!!”

The guy looked startled when he saw me, but then, I saw Mikan. She was already under the influence of despair, and I was afraid. I was trembling. I instinctively took out my dagger to defend myself.

“Please… I don’t want to make meaningless sacrifices…”

Right at that moment, a laugh echoed through the room.

“Puhuhuhuhu—! Well, if it isn’t my favorite time traveler!”

“Mistress!?”

The Ultimate Fashionista, and Ultimate Despair, walked into the light.

“That’s right! I know all about you, and I vouched for you to the academy! Isn’t that amazing? You got to spend your days with the Main Course! Other Reserve Course students don’t get this opportunity, you know.”

“But how? Why?! I thought—!”

“Oh, I actually made the device retain the memories of myself and Kamukura in every timeline, so that we can see how you progress! He did seem to be interested in how this little device of mine would work, so…”

“…Oh god…”

“But don’t you worry! Everything else will go exactly as per the script that you know! Both Kamukura and I can act pretty well, you know?”

I was trembling so much, I could barely stand. Mikan was inching closer to me the second the mistress snapped her fingers. At that instant, my first instinct was to run. I ran out, looking for everyone, panting heavily in a panic. I was determined to make sure nobody ended up in the mistress’s trap, but how!?

“EVERYONE! I found Mikan, and…!”

I hurriedly relayed everything, which shocked them all.

“We have to save her!”

Mahiru spoke up.

“No, it’s a trap! If you go, the mistress will—!”

“Even so, she’s our classmate and our friend… we have to help her!”

Without listening to my pleas to not go, they ran towards where I’d told them she was. Oh no… it was all proceeding according to the script… I couldn’t help but fall to my knees and cry on the ground.

“Another failed timeline…”

Amidst the heavy rain, nobody could hear me. I ended up watching the academy burn, for the third time. I witnessed the class fall into despair again. And… I saw my target in despair, for the third time.

He approached me, for the third time. I almost dropped my dagger. I’d failed him, for the third time.

“…I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I’m so incompetent, I thought that this time…”

I shakily held the box I’d been meaning to give him in my hand.

“…I left you hanging without an answer… I didn’t give you this token of my apology… I didn’t manage to tell you anything about me… I… truly am pathetic, aren’t I?”

He only smiled at me eerily.

“You still had hope amidst all that. You still wanted to do all that, despite being in clear despair. You truly are a being of hope, and I’m honored to have been a stepping stone to nurture that hope.”

“SHUT UUUUP!! DON’T SAY THAT WHEN YOU’RE LIKE THIS, WHEN I’M LIKE THIS!!”

I ended up thrusting the dagger into him repeatedly again on the ground.

“WAKE UP, PLEASE!! FIGHT ME! RESIST ME! DON’T JUST LAY THERE AND LET ME TAKE AWAY YOUR LIFE AS THOUGH IT MEANT NOTHING TO YOU!!! I BEG YOU, EMBRACE YOUR OWN HOPE!!!”

I screamed and cried, and wailed loudly, as if he could hear me even after going limp. My hands were covered in his blood. I clawed at my face, screaming like a baby. I couldn’t bear to take in this outcome again.

“I swear… I vow it… until I can finally kill you before you fall into despair, I will try again… and again… over and over, til I have finally achieved my goal, so that you don’t have to feel like giving up again…”

I promised to his corpse amidst my tears and hiccups. I swallowed my tears, and knew what I had to do.

“I will find you, over and over… until I can finally get to you.”

Chapter Text

Lord knows how many times I’ve reset time, all for this one mission. They all had the same, or similar, outcomes. Before I knew it, I’d gotten used to my life in the Main Course, knowing just how to respond to everyone. Now, I had a plan. I went into the school building with a more confident and cool demeanor.

“It’s my pleasure to meet you. I will be in your care from now on. My talent is a secret due to it being dangerous, so don’t bother trying to ask about it or guessing it. I will neither confirm nor deny your answers.”

I bowed, as I did in every timeline.

“Ah, okay then…! Um… take a seat anywhere!”

The teacher, Chisa, seemed put off by my demeanor. I cleared my throat.

“I apologize, sensei, but I’m feeling unwell. Who is the nurse’s aide in the class?”

“Ah! I-I’m the U-Ultimate Nu—”

“I asked specifically for the nurse’s aide.”

“Hiyaaa—! I’m sorry, please don’t hate me…!!!”

The teacher was put off by my bluntness.

“Well… we don’t have one, since we have a nurse…”

“Then, I shall pick one for today. You. What’s your name?”

I approached Nagito, who was surprised.

“Ah, you’d be better off going with someone who isn’t tra—”

“I asked for your name. Or do I need to spell it out for you?”

“…Nagito Komaeda. I’m the Ultimate Lucky Student.”

“Mhm. Come with me as my nurse’s aide. And show me around while you’re at it.”

He agreed, putting up little resistance. His eyes seemed to gleam with curiosity about me. But I put aside all my emotions towards him.

“Um… so, new guy—”

“You can just address me as ‘Ultimate Unknown’.”

“Uh… okay… so… Ultimate Unknown… is your talent really that dangerous?”

“It is.”

We walked in silence for a while, til we got into a secluded hallway.

“Nagito Komaeda. Do you treasure the life that you have?”

“Huh?”

He stopped in front of me.

“Well, I do love being a stepping stone for hope, even if it means dying for it… so I guess not really in general?”

“…That’s what makes it so easy for that to happen…”

I muttered. He gave me a confused look.

“Sorry, I was just talking to myself.”

I took out the box with the bracelet.

“Here.”

He took the box, confused. He opened it, and I could see his face brightening with surprise and… a hint of joy.

“This is…”

“I made it myself.”

“How did you know that I’d like something like this? And this charm with ‘hope’ embedded on it… don’t tell me, you’re just like me?”

He grew a little excited, to which I gave a cool smile, as if this was nothing. It was, in fact, everything to me.

“I just have my ways.”

“Ah! Maybe your talent is the Ultimate Gift-Giver? And it’s dangerous because you sometimes end up giving weapons to people?”

“Haha, I think that talent belongs to Santa…”

He laughed with me. I had him hold out his arm, and then, I tied the string bracelet onto his wrist. It had a white thread, while mine had a green one. I showed him the matching half-heart charms, except mine had ‘despair’ embedded on it.

“‘Hope’, and ‘despair’… despair makes way for the brightest hope… you really do know a lot about what I like, don’t you?”

“…As expected… the white thread suits you better.”

I couldn’t help but allow my cool smile to soften at the sight. I’d done it, somehow… even if it wasn’t for what I’d originally planned it for. He was a little confused, but I brushed it off as my indecisiveness. That, of course, was natural for me. He bought the little lie I told.

We somehow… became fairly decent friends after that. He’d meet me after school and just drop huge verbal paragraphs about hope to me, which I listened to with resignation. Still, I didn’t think to put in my earphones and just block him out. That’d be rude. Wait, why was I trying not to make him feel bad!? Geez, emotions are so overly complicated!!

At one point, he’d asked if he could come over to my place.

“Ah, but I’m sure you wouldn’t want trash to litter your space!”

Coincidentally, that was the same day when I thought of telling him everything… about all my failed timelines. I agreed to his request, which made him happy. I gave him my address in case he wanted to come by another time, too. Somehow, I wanted him to feel like coming over again, even after finding everything out. All these little things I was doing to remain close to him were confusing even me, who was hellbent on despising him. What was happening to me?

We reached my home, and I brought him inside. We took off our shoes and kept them on the rack, before I took him to my room. It was filled to the brim with strategy boards, and different colored strings to signify the connections that every timeline had. There was a dart board, with his photo in the bullseye zone, and a dart I’d thrown which had missed the photo by a long shot. He looked around with fascination and a bit of uneasiness.

“What’s… all this? Is this your hope cultivation plan?”

“…Kind of, but not really, simultaneously.”

He was more confused.

“…I’d lied to you in a previous timeline. This ‘watch’… it’s actually a device I use to time travel. The mistress of despair, Junko Enoshima, had informed the principal about it. Thus, they gave me my talent, which is the Ultimate Time Traveler.”

“Ultimate… Time Traveler? Oh! So that’s where your hope lies!!”

“But you don’t get it. Tomorrow, you’ll be witness to the absolute despair that will take over the world, all because of the mistress. I’ve been powerless to stop it from happening in the other timelines.”

“Just… how many times have you traveled back in time?”

“Lord knows. Maybe hundreds of times.”

“But why do you run from despair? Why are you so adamant to stop it? Only from the greatest despair can the greatest hope—”

“I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THAT FROM YOU!!”

I grabbed his shoulders to silence him.

“I… I don’t want to hear that…”

I could feel my cool facade crumbling as I spoke. My tone began to waver, and my eyes began to sting with unshed tears.

“…Not after the amount of times I’ve had to witness you fall into despair… to the point where you didn’t resist when I killed you… I don’t want that, I don’t want that, Komaeda…!”

“Huh? Killed me!?”

Even he was surprised to know that. I wasn’t able to stop my emotions.

“I… I have a mission, to kill you… from the mistress. I’ve been reversing time again and again because… I made my own objective. I want to kill you before you fall into despair, so that I don’t have to witness that version of you who has given up on everything and won’t resist when I attack you. I don’t know if it’s selfish or selfless, or if this can be considered ‘saving’ you, but I…”

I began to break down into heavy sobs, while he just stood there, taking in everything I confessed to him. I pulled him into a tight embrace and cried into his shoulder.

“I don’t want to lose this version of you! I don’t want you to lose whatever hope you have left…! If I fail this time, I’ll just try again… and again… but if I’m never able to do it, I won’t forgive myself… I… I truly want to make sure that I never have to see you fall into despair again… not after the previous hundreds of times…”

I could no longer form coherent words. I don’t remember what happened after that. All I remember was him going home, and me crying into my pillow as I recalled those previous memories. It was all so confusing. I stole a glance at myself in my phone’s camera.

“…Despite everything, it’s still me…”

I looked even worse than before. I couldn’t even recognize myself. It felt like I was worn out, but I couldn’t give up yet…

“I have to keep going… if I want to fulfill my objective…”

I braced myself for tomorrow.

And so, the day came. I woke up early to freshen up and arm myself. I was going to save the gamer— Chiaki— from the mistress’s torture. I ran towards the place where I’d previously found her. According to the writer’s knowledge of the anime, Chiaki was manipulated by the despair-induced Chisa right around there. I followed those traces of knowledge I had. And… right on call. She was about to take Chisa’s hand.

“DON’T DO IT!!”

I rushed in.

“SHE’S UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF DESPAIR, SHE’LL BETRAY YOU!!”

But my words of warning were in vain. I ran after them in a panic, and tried to pull Chiaki out from the trap that Chisa had set. But she pushed me inside as well.

“AAAAAAA—!”

We both fell into that dungeon. I was afraid.

“…I’ll guide you… don’t worry…”

I whispered to the gamer girl next to me.

“We’ll make it out of here.”

She nodded. The mistress’s announcement voice sounded through the speakers, and the dungeon game began.

To stop her despair from reaching Nagito, I had to make sure that Chiaki made it out alive. So, using the writer’s knowledge of that anime episode, I tried to make her avoid the traps, which worked for a bit… until it didn’t. She ended up getting injured anyway, and all I could do was support her body.

“Please hang in there! I promise I’ll try to get you out alive! The mistress is messing with me, this is way different than what I remember…!”

Only she got hurt. I think the mistress wanted me to feel guilt, which would fuel my despair further. Then, came that door of despair—

“NOOOOO—!”

She walked in. And that’s when… those spears impaled her. Just like in the anime. I was shaking. I fell to my knees in pure shock and devastation. I… had failed again. I’d failed to prevent Nagito from falling into despair… again.

“No… no no no no no…”

I could only mutter as I saw the man named Izuru Kamukura carry out his part of the script.

“I just… wanted to play games with you again…”

Chiaki weakly spoke, before her life force drained from her. The detached man’s eyes overflowed with tears, just like I remembered they would. I couldn’t help myself.

“No… NOOOOOOOO!!!”

I screamed out in pure agony and despair. My devastation was impalpable. Lord knows how many times I’d failed to prevent this from happening. My screams turned to loud wails and cries, as if I were cursing out the entire world itself. The man named Kamukura wiped away his tears, and stepped over to me, while the mistress laughed heartily in the background at the sight.

“I know what happened in all your other timelines.”

I couldn’t answer him. Then, my device let out a jingle-like sound.

“…That signifies the milestone of 500 timelines where you’ve had to witness despair.”

“Five… hundred… no, no, NOOO!!!”

I came back to my panicked senses and ran off back upstairs.

“KOMAEDA!! WHERE ARE YOU!? KOMAEDA…! ANSWER ME…!!!”

My voice was slightly hoarse after how badly I’d screamed previously, but still, I persisted. I found him roaming about, while he was in despair.

“Komaeda—!”

I caught up to him. He turned around, and faced me with that eerie smile.

“…Despair feels amazing, does it not?”

“IT DOES NOT!! Please, tell me something…”

I caught my breath.

“I didn’t ask you this back at my place, but… if any wish of yours could come true, what would you wish for…?”

“…For all despair to be wiped off the planet, for only hope to remain. I’ll be the stepping stone for that to happen.”

“…!?”

So there WAS a part of him still remaining in there! I held him in a tight embrace and just cried.

“I’m sorry… I couldn’t stop that despair from reaching you again… I’m sorry, I’m sorry…!”

He didn’t say a word. All of a sudden, the device began to glow, and…

“…! AAAAAA—!”

…I was teleported to another dimension altogether.

Chapter Text

I was floating in what seemed to be… outer space. Except somehow, oxygen was present.

“Hello? Anyone there?”

I called out.

“…Komaeda?”

That was the only name that came to mind.

“…Komaeda… no, Nagito… answer me, where are you…?”

I called out. Then, I heard the mistress’s voice.

“Puhuhuhu~! So, you’ve discovered the automatic 500-time travels feature of the device!”

“What do you mean!?”

“Well, when you fail to prevent despair from reaching your target, it counts as a failed attempt! And you’ve had 500 of those now!”

The number was still unbelievable. To think I’d failed so many times…

“You know, you could’ve just ended the mission after you killed him the first time, but you were so desperate to kill him while he was still in his ‘hope’ stage that you brought this despair upon yourself. You can’t even see it through to the end, how incompetent! Ahahahaha!!”

Her mocking laughter sent my mind into a panic. I tightly closed my eyes.

“No… no… NOOOOO—!”

Then, it stopped. I felt a pair of warm arms gently wrapped around me, holding me close.

“Huh…?”

“It’s okay… your despair will not overpower your hope.”

That familiar voice…

“Komaeda—!”

“Why the formalities? Call me Nagito. Or do you not consider us to be friends?”

He chuckled.

“I… That’s not…!”

I stumbled over my words. What DID I think of him?

“Don’t listen to her… you’ve done plenty already. I’ve gotten my memories of you from every timeline. That must be a property of the device; to merge all my different memories from those timelines you’ve visited… how hopeful it is to remember you!”

I couldn’t help but hold onto his shoulders tightly. I finally opened my eyes, and saw him. He was… bare, but he was glowing. It was ethereal, like a god. It was just like the version of him in that dream I’d had in a previous timeline, except, this version of him was human-sized. I couldn’t help but be mesmerized by his glow. It was… oddly beautiful.

“Remember that prayer you’d said to me?”

“‘Ave Maria’?”

“Yes, that one. I’ve managed to find a new wish through that. I wish to be the stepping stone that not only nurtures people’s hope, but also births it. I want to be the Mary that births the absolute hope of humanity into the world. I want to create a hope so powerful, it overpowers any despair.”

“But that wish can only be fulfilled if you’re a god…!”

“If that’s so, I will even become a being of divinity for the sake of hope. It doesn’t matter what happens to me, as long as everyone’s hope can shine.”

“But then… what will happen to you?”

“I will disappear from everyone’s memories. I’ll create a universe where everyone’s memories of me don’t exist, and so, my despair won’t exist in it either.”

“But then, what were all those 500 timelines for!? What did I even…?!”

I could feel myself wanting to cry in agony. What was all my work for? Was it just meaningless?

“I know that you wanted to prevent despair from reaching me. But sometimes, we can’t have what we want. And this action of mine will bring me the utmost hope. You don’t have to despair over me anymore. It’ll all be okay… as long as you don’t forget me.”

“But—!”

“Please. Don’t forget me, or what I’ve done. I want to be remembered as everyone’s Ultimate Hope, even if it’s by one person.”

I couldn’t answer. He only smiled at me softly.

“Well then, I have to go soon. So, I’ll watch over you.”

“No, not yet!”

“We’ll meet again, okay?”

He was disintegrating. He let me go, and I was floating off into the distance. I desperately reached out to the disappearing man who I’d been chasing for so long.

“No… NO!!”

I desperately tried to go against the currents of the space, in vain. I could only reach out to him in a panic.

“NAGITOOOOOO—!”

I screamed out his first name.

I don’t remember what happened after that, but I woke up in my bed at home in a cold sweat right after.

“Gh—! No, no, no… Nagito… Nagito…”

I kept muttering his name as I rapidly searched for information about him. It was all gone.

“No… no…!”

He truly didn’t exist anywhere aside from in my memories… it made me want to cry. But I sucked it up and stopped myself, and went to class.

Everything proceeded as usual. Except, when I sat by the riverside to think about what had happened…

“You’re here.”

That familiar, detached voice. I didn’t have it in me to be giddy about this beautiful man named Kamukura talking to me on his own volition.

“…I am. Did you need something?”

“You’ve failed to save Nagito Komaeda 500 times. This is the timeline that he’s created, where he himself doesn’t exist, and neither does despair. Meaning that Junko Enoshima only exists as our past memories.”

“But if despair doesn’t exist, why are you still here?”

“Who knows, really. I have a feeling it’s because I’m titled the Ultimate Hope that he decided to keep me around. He does have a weird obsession with hope itself, after all.”

“I guess…”

I was really down after everything.

“…He said that this ending would be hopeful… and yet… that idiot…”

The man, named Izuru Kamukura, stared at me for a moment.

“I can provide you with a way to try and make it right. But I have a condition.”

“Huh…?”

I perked up.

“What condition?”

“Make it interesting for me. I want to see just how capable your strong emotions are in surpassing my expectations.”

A strange condition, but I agreed to it. He lifted my arm with the device, and pressed the buttons on the back in a certain order. Right then, a portal to another dimension opened.

“Komaeda is there. Show me just how much you can interest me.”

“…!”

Without waiting another minute, I rushed inside the portal.

There, the sight that awaited me made me stop in my tracks. There he was, glowing, bare, like before, but a black mist and snake-like beings encircled him, caging him in. His eyes were closed, and his body seemed to be ‘purifying’ those things, or at least trying to.

I heard the voice of Kamukura.

“He seems to have taken all of humanity’s despair upon himself and sealed it around him, as if it were all his own responsibility. That is the sacrifice he’s made for all of them. But his signs of life haven’t faded. There’s still time.”

I nodded, and stepped closer, with my dagger in my hand. I pushed aside my fears. Those snake-like beings suddenly stopped, and faced me. They then fiercely hissed, and rushed at me. I couldn’t turn back now.

“…I’ll make this right.”

I ran into the chaotic mess of the mist and the serpents, slicing at them with my blade.

“HAAA—!”

“No… don’t… cut… them…”

I could hear Nagito’s weak voice calling to me. But this time, I wasn’t about to be swayed by those emotions.

“You’re far too selfless for your own good at times. I’ll free you, I swear it to you.”

“No… don’t…!”

I cut through one of the serpents, and he screamed in pain and agony.

“AAAAAAGH—! IT HURTS, IT HURTS!!!”

I kept cutting through all the serpents, no matter how much he screamed.

“…I won’t apologize for doing this. If humanity’s fate revolves around you, I won’t hesitate to sacrifice them all, in order to complete my mission. After all, my feelings regarding you are complicated, and I don’t know why I’m even bothering with this. What I do know is that I can’t bear to see you in despair again, not after the previous 500 times. I’ll save you from it this time.”

I cut through every last serpent, expending every bit of energy, and used a small portion of it to say another edition of that prayer.

“Hail Hope, full of grace, I am with thee: blessed art thou among humanity, and blessed is the fruit of thy heart, hope. Nagito Komaeda, Stepping Stone of Hope, pray for those sacrifices, now and at the hour of their death. Amen.”

It wasn’t long before I was on the ground due to exhaustion. I could hear him scream in pain and agony again. Then, I passed out into a light sleep. I was still able to sense him, and the point when he stopped screaming.

“…You really…”

I could feel his warmth getting closer and closer to me.

“…Your intentions have the potential for hope, but your execution of them wasn’t hopeful. Come, I’ll let you rest up, and then I’ll tell you all about how to make it hopeful—”

While he picked me up, I pressed the buttons on the back of my device in a certain order, the same one that Kamukura used. But this time, Nagito was being sucked into the device.

“What!? No, what are you doing!?”

He held onto me tightly. The charm on the bracelet on his wrist sparkled at me, reminding me that I’d done all this for his sake.

“You’ll tear me apart! No, NOOOOO—!”

He was inside the device. Neither would he experience the world’s despair again, nor would I have to lose the version of him that had given up on everything. I stepped through that portal, to the despair-ridden world that I’d willingly recreated. A strong wind made my hair flow as I looked out at the view, with an unfamiliar calmness.

“…Call me a selfish monster, the devil. I did it all in your name, and now, I have completed my objective. Should it mean sacrificing all of humanity, it shall be done. For they are naught but meaningless pawns to sacrifice in the name of something far greater than themselves, and I intend to show them that, by reinfecting them with that despair that they themselves had cultivated within their bodies. It means nothing if they perish, as long as you alone are safe from that despair. In that case, keep close to me always, so I may protect you from the sins of humanity.”

I heard footsteps behind me.

“So, this is how far you’d go for your own selfishness. You truly have surpassed my expectations. Your desperation was impalpable, and so, you’d decided to sacrifice all of humanity, just to protect Komaeda from the despair that would’ve hit him in the regular timelines.”

Izuru Kamukura. There he was, witnessing the despair I’d inflicted upon the world.

“You’ve interested me. I’ll wait to see the ending of this despair-filled story you’ve composed.”

I didn’t answer him as he left.

Chapter Text

Day after day, more despair was in the world. I alone walked through the streets filled with rubble and smog, occasionally coughing from the dust, with a cool expression. I couldn’t care less that the world was falling apart. After all, I’d completed my objective, had I not?

But how would I go from here? Should I just die, since I no longer have a purpose? I didn’t know. At night, I went to the top of a building, and looked at the view below. It looked terrible. I looked at my reflection in one of the windows.

“…This… is the true me.”

I still looked terrible, and worn out. Those timelines really took a toll on me, it seems. I still haven’t figured out how I felt about Nagito himself. I didn’t know if my feelings were merely platonic, or something more. It never occurred to me to think about that, since I was so busy with my goal. But now, he was eliminated from this world, and the despair of humanity, which the mistress had inflicted so many times before, didn’t reach him.

It was raining atop that building. I remembered that rain waltz I’d done with him in a previous timeline. Even now, I didn’t know what the song he’d played was. I hummed whatever I could remember, and stepped on the wet floor. When the moon came out, I raised my hand to it to end my dance of finality, before I tipped over the edge.

I could feel the wind on my form, before suddenly, there were sparkles around me, and I was once again teleported to another dimension.

I landed in that same place where I’d saved Nagito from those serpents. And there he was, sitting on the ground on his knees. His expression looked like it was in pain. I felt an arrow of guilt stab my heart, but I pushed it aside. I’d done the right thing, right? I wasn’t so sure anymore.

“…You really sacrificed them all… just so I wouldn’t be tainted with despair…”

His voice was rather weak.

“I brought you here through your device, since I’m sort of ‘part of it’ due to being trapped inside it, but it took up a lot of power. I don’t know how much longer I can last. So, I ask that you listen to me til the end.”

I nodded. My resolve was wavering as I witnessed his weakened state.

“…All you’ve done so far… it’s been far from hopeful. Inflicting despair upon humanity, trapping me in this device… you’re no better than an Ultimate Despair yourself.”

“…! How dare you—!”

I pulled out my dagger.

“Kill me if you want. You know I’m right. Nothing about this is hopeful. Can’t you see that? All you’ve done is inflict despair not just on humanity, but on me as well.”

I couldn’t answer that. I kept my dagger back.

“…But why did it end up like this… All I wanted was to prevent you from experiencing despair…”

“I know. I see it now, I see your intentions. And I admit that it was selfish of me to create that world where I don’t exist, when you’d gone through 500 timelines to find me. We both acted selfishly.”

“You weren’t selfish… just too selfless.”

“I badly wanted to be the Ultimate Hope of humanity. That’s a selfish enough desire to do what I did.”

He did have a point…

“But we can make this right, can’t we? Or is it too late for that…?”

“Somehow… hope will prevail. This despair we’re experiencing will make way to the brightest hope. Believe in that.”

I was silent. He tapped the ground next to him, signaling at me to sit down. I sat next to him.

“…I’m sorry that I was never honest, in any timeline, about why I was doing all this. It was all for your sake. My feelings are complicated. I still don’t know what I see you as.”

I confessed, to which he nodded and smiled that usual smile of his. He held up his wrist, which had the bracelet I’d given him in that one timeline. I held up my right wrist in return. Our matching half-heart ‘hope’ and ‘despair’ charms gleamed in the space’s light.

“It doesn’t matter. You went that far to try and save me from despair, that’s all it takes for me to know that maybe, just maybe… I was the cause of the hope brewing within you; the hope that you can save someone before it’s too late.”

“Yeah… maybe…”

I still didn’t understand myself. But I didn’t think I needed to at this moment, for he was here with me, and he’d forgiven my selfishness, while acknowledging his own unintentional selfishness. Was that true ‘hope’? It made me want to cry, not from sorrow, but from the overwhelming joy I felt.

He lifted my arm with the device.

“This time, let’s make a timeline where we can both exist. No matter if we fall into despair or not, we’ll go through it together.

“But… what about all these memories?”

“We can retain them. After all, this story revolves around us two, and it’d be a shame if we forgot everything we’ve been through. We’ll use our current mistakes to learn, and progress in the new timeline.”

It sounded good to me, so I agreed. He tapped the buttons on my device in a certain order, and at that moment, both of us were teleported into another timeline, remaining close.

Chapter Text

I woke up in my bed at home. It was my first semester at Hope’s Peak Academy, and I was to attend as the Ultimate Time Traveler. Of course, the classroom was the same as before. But this time…

“I’m the Ultimate Time Traveler! I’ll be under your care from now on. I look forward to working with you all!”

Nobody else other than me and Nagito knew about everything that had happened before. But they didn’t need to… not now, at least.

The days passed by as per usual, but I couldn’t help but worry about what was to come. I’d played through this scenario 500 times before. I knew the despair which awaited everyone. But I pushed those worries aside for the time being. Everyone was happy, having fun, and smiling… I didn’t want to ruin that.

Everyday, I’d worry more as the day drew closer and closer. Sometimes, I’d cry in my bed, wishing that I could stop it from happening altogether.

At one point, I ended up subconsciously visiting the same building I’d jumped off of. I’d dance and twirl in the moonlight (and the starlight, if the moon wasn’t out), humming that one tune from memory, reaching up to the moon every time I ended it. The moon had become special to me. The night sky had become special to me. This solitude had become special to me. It was just me, the steps on the floor I made, and the beings of the sky watching me from above.

On one night, it rained midway while I was in the midst of my moonlit dance. It didn’t deter me, as I’d done this before. I continued to step, my shoes tapping the wet floor. Then, during one of my twirls, I suddenly hit something, or someone.

“Ack—! Geez, who in— Ah—!”

Of course it was him. He laughed heartily at what had just happened.

“Komaeda…!!!”

I hit his shoulders repeatedly, as if I were throwing a fit, but they didn’t seem to hurt him, likely since I was no good at doing any damage with my bare hands. He only laughed again.

“Alright, that’s enough. You’ll exhaust yourself.”

I stopped, but I was seething a little.

“So, you were here the whole time! Lucky guess on my end!”

“Tch…”

His expression then became serious.

“Are you worrying about the inevitable day when despair inflicts everyone?”

“How did you—!?”

“Haha, I retained my memories of all 500 timelines, remember?”

“…Right.”

“So, I’m here to assign you a task.”

“What kind?”

“I’m counting on you to be one of those few sparks of hope that will bring us all out of that despair. Will you be able to do that?”

“But I don’t have an ounce of hope in my heart!!”

“Really? If that’s the case, how come you kept thinking that you could save me in every timeline?”

“That’s different—!”

“Either way, you’re a suitable candidate for that. I’d like you to do it.”

I silently stared at him, and sighed. If that’s something that would give me a purpose…

“…Alright. I’ll do it, and I promise you… I’ll make sure that you beat that despair to a pulp.”

I felt that same determination as back when I’d tried to save him so many times, which seemed to please him. He nodded in approval.

“That’s the spirit.”

He pulled out his phone, and played that same song I’d been dying to know the name of. I glanced at the screen, and committed the title to memory.

“Are you fond of waltzing, Ultimate Time Traveler?”

“Hm? Ah—”

That same question he’d asked me in that other timeline… I couldn’t help but laugh.

“…Perhaps I am, despite my inexperience.”

I ended up taking his hand again. And so, amidst those steps upon the wet floor, the moon shone through the clouds, while a pair of hands reached out to it. This was the moonlit legend that human selfishness had composed, only known to the two who had written it in the first place.

Fin.