Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Help, I'm still at the restaurant
Still sitting in a corner I haunt
Cross-legged in the dim light
They say, "What a sad sight"
I, I swear you could hear a hair pin drop
Right when I felt the moment stop.”

right where you left me, Taylor Swift

 The words shimmered like stars between his hands.
 Dust motes danced in the warm air of his ragged breath, separating the tears — which fell like obedient little waterfalls down his cheeks — from the pile of papers.
The edges were crumpled between tight, desperate fingers, reluctant to let go of the only true, concrete anchor she still was to him.
His vision blurred.
His hands stopped trembling for a moment when a familiar, gentle face faded through the salty water of his tears and his fingers were able to caress the girl’s face once more.
The protagonist of his story.
The tears became unbearable, too many to hold back.
A crack sank even deeper into his heart, crumbling even the smallest remaining grain still beating within it.
His glasses lay near his typewriter, dotted with countless tiny drops. He had kept them on until it became difficult to see even the very last word he had typed.

The End.

“Oh, come on…” he sighed, his voice broken, hiding his face in his hands, abandoning the bundle of papers where she was still alive. “I can’t… anymore.”
The sheets scattered slightly across the desk.
One of his dark eyes peeked through his fingers, settling in a pleading gaze upon the only thing that truly shone — with its own, magical light — in the dimness of the room: the golden frame beside him, which could never be as radiant as the smile it held.
Sunlight rested shyly upon the pages filled with the story he had written over the last four years, finally finishing it after graduating in literature.
“It can’t end like this.” Mike wiped away his tears as he watched the small puddles spreading beside the title of his book. “I’m sorry, El. I can’t do it.”
With a sudden movement he stood up from the chair, leaving the desk in chaos: tissues, torn and wet pages, erased outlines, and a small heart carved into the wood with scissors some time ago.
The music from the playlist they had created together one afternoon — when they were both still sixteen — died the instant he slammed the door behind him, under her distant, happy, motionless gaze.

***

“I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet
There's such a difference between us
And a million miles
Hello from the other side
I must've called a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
But when I call, you never seem to be home.”

Hello, Adele

 The little heart engraved on the bedside table — where a photograph in a heart-shaped frame had once always been — was gently caressed by fingers finally free from suffering.
That same hand grasped a wood-burning pen and began carving a first curve right next to the other incision, when a familiar voice burst in from outside the door.
“Are you coming? You can’t be late again today!”

***

“They expected me to find somewhere
Some perspective, but I sat and stared
Right where you left me.”

right where you left me, Taylor Swift

 The landscape outside the window didn’t change much. Green and blue colored everything his damp eyes rested upon.
  Mike tightened his grip on the book in his hands.
His book.
Bound and reread for the millionth time, to imprint even the most insignificant punctuation into his memory and forget nothing.
Especially that face: described with care and almost perfect meticulousness, so much so that it seemed truly real.
And, of course, to correct the various mistakes.
His mother had insisted that he send it to a publishing house. “I think you should do it. Sharing it, letting it out, is another step toward acceptance. You’ve grown so much, Michael, but… your eyes… they’re the same as five and a half years ago. I miss seeing you smile… truly. You were happy when your sister told us she was pregnant, but it wasn’t the same as when she was still here…”
“That’s exactly the point, Mom,” he had replied. “She isn’t here anymore.”
“Mike, you can’t stay attached to a memory for your whole life.”
“She’s not a memory. She was alive, beside me. She had a heart beating next to mine, and no one — no one — will ever be as extraordinary, important, incredible as she was.”
Mike shook his head and his mind returned to the present, to the summer landscapes full of life and the clear, infinite sky.
The driver stopped the bus and announced the stop.
A small village made up of many cabins and rustic houses — white with blue or red shutters — stretched a few kilometers away.
Mike grabbed his backpack and got off.
A cool wind lashed against his warm face.
He held his breath as he gazed at the dark roofs of the distant houses among hills rich with bushes and wildflowers.
“Mike, are you sure?” his mother’s voice echoed through the fog of his mind.
“I’ve thought about it carefully. Day and night. I want to do this.”
“Do you think you’ll find her?” Holly had asked.
“I don’t know. My head is a mess of hope and rationality. But my heart wants to go. It’s as if… it’s begging me. As if that place is calling me.”
“And if she won’t be there? What will you do then?” Nancy, seated with her pregnant belly in an armchair, had looked straight into his eyes, exposing all his fantasies.
“Then… I’ll move on. For real.”
A pat on his shoulder pulled him back to the present. “Come on, pilgrim. It’s a good thirty-minute walk to get to the village of the Three Waterfalls.”
Mike, shaken, nodded. He turned around and noticed the bus was already far away, disappearing behind a hill.  “No turning back now, Mike.”

***

“"We were just kids, babe"
I said, "I don't mind, it takes time"
I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed
I felt aglow like this
Never before and never since.”

loml, Taylor Swift

 Orders were increasing by the minute.
The bakery was a riot of raised arms asking to be served.
In summer, the village filled with tourists, as it did every year.
The three waterfalls atop the nearest mountain were an attraction that always drew a large crowd: lovers of nature, hiking, wild freedom, but also those who adored the impossible.
Because a landscape so unreal and fantastical could only give you a sense of peace, wholeness, and a paradise-like freedom, far from ordinary truths.
“Who’s next?”
“Me! I’d like a sandwich to take with me up to the waterfalls.”

***

“And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound
It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you
You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town.”

this is me trying, Taylor Swift

 “You made it.”
Mike lifted his sweaty face from the dirt road. “I was never much of an athlete,” he admitted to his companion, the only one who had gotten off the bus with him. “It’s been years since I’ve been on a bike. I’m more of a desk, typewriter, and books kind of guy.”
“It shows,” the other laughed. “Listen, I’m stopping earlier at that place. There’s a lot of people, so I’m guessing the food’s good…”
Mike narrowed his eyes to read the sign. All those years spent writing had slightly worsened his eyesight. “It’s a bakery.”
The other nodded. “Coming? So we can get our energy back.”
Mike stared at the crowded shop for a long time. Something inside him stirred, one of the many fragments of his shattered heart. He took a step forward, but only to pat his companion on the shoulder. “No, thanks. I’ll head straight to the waterfalls.”
“Impatient, huh?”
“I’ve waited long enough.”

***

“Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?
Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it
She's still 23 inside her fantasy
How it was supposed to be.”

right where you left me, Taylor Swift

A heartbeat doubled in the center of her chest.
What was that?
The customer paid and left, leaving the door ajar behind him. A strong gust of air flung it wide open, lifting hair, jackets, and bags throughout the shop.
“What’s happening?” exclaimed Diana, the owner, holding onto her cap. “This has never happened in summer before!”
Curious brown eyes lingered on the entrance, magnetically drawn to the wind’s unusual behavior. A hand was about to turn, calling upon a certain power, when suddenly a man appeared in the doorway, breaking the unnatural spell.
“I’d like to go to the Three Waterfalls — what can I eat in the meantime?” he said to himself, stepping up to the counter.

***

“Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion?
Break-ups happen every day, you don't have to lose it
She's still 23 inside her fantasy
And you're sitting in front of me.”

right where you left me, Taylor Swift

 Stones slipped and crunched beneath his soles.
The wind had grown stronger, damper, colder.
Mike pulled his scarf tighter around his face and put on his hat, stopping the fast movement of his black hair from falling into his eyes.
Suddenly everything — the white flowers by his shoes, the tufts of grass, the distant trees — moved restlessly, bending to the will of the clouds arriving on the horizon, meeting the sunset behind him.
Moist droplets lashed fiercely against his face, like a burst of bullets.
Or countless little kisses thrown by an invisible enchanter.
Perhaps by the very same mage he was searching for.
In any case, it meant he was close.
The top of the hill was almost there.
More stones, less grass.
Moisture clung to his curls.
One last effort and—
The wet splash of a puddle stopped him.
Mike immediately looked down at his shoes. They were dry.
A cold and warm shiver ran through him, pulling him back into his memories.
But around him there was no nothingness, no black void of his mind.
No. This wasn’t like that time.

***

“Whether I'm gonna be your wife or
Gonna smash up your bike, I
Haven't decided yet
But I'm gonna get you back.”

imgonnagetyouback, Taylor Swift

 “With me there was also a young, kind, man in his twenties, but honestly not very smart. He barely made it to the village without fainting. He told me he’s not athletic. Hasn’t been on a bike in years…”
  “A bike…?”
“Yes, he’s not from around here. He’s American. You can tell. Only a madman would climb to the waterfalls without eating anything first. That’s why I’d like to bring him at least a sandwich… hoping to find him still alive, skinny as he is.”
“H-how did he look…? His hair? And his eyes…?”
“Black. Very tall, thin, and pale. That’s why I’m worried. I felt sorry for him the moment I saw him on the bus.”
“The bus…?”
“Yes… Something is troubling him.”
“Who knows… maybe like many tourists he came here searching for inner answers,” Diana chimed in, grabbing a new bag for the other sandwich.
“Maybe…”
“Probably. But stubborn as he is… I’m afraid he’ll get hurt.” The customer shook his head. “I recognized that expression right away,  the one worn by someone who’s suffered like a dog and whose only remaining grip… is hope.”
“Hope…”
Her breath had stopped.
Her heartbeat had gone wild.
Was it possible?
No.
Was it madness?
Yes.
And yet…
“Diana, can you finish with this customer? I need to take my lunch break now.”
The owner glanced at the few tourists left in the shop.  “All right, sweetheart. I can manage alone for half an hour.”
The apron flew somewhere onto a sack of flour in the back, while the legs ran like mad toward the only destination the heart — or imagination, or magic — was urging them to reach.

***

"I see her in the back of my mind
All the time
Feels like a fever, like I'm burning alive
Like a sign
Did I cross the line?”

WILDFLOWER, Billie Eilish

The wind stopped the very instant his dark eyes plunged once more into the watery ones that had accompanied his deepest dreams and every day of his life since November 6, 1983.
Ten years earlier.
Was it a spell?
Was it his mind?
Was it heaven?
And yet his heart was bursting with joy, magically stitched back together by the simple sound of sighs leaving the other mouth, by the brown eyes watching him like an impossible vision, by the long strands of hair waving together with his in the now warmer breeze.
Green and blue surrounded them.
No infinite black.
No dark void.
Only the sound of the waterfalls behind them, bathed in the gold of the setting sun.
In that instant, the portrait on his desk in the golden frame overlapped with the person before him: her tousled hair and pink-and-white dress pushing her toward him.
Mike felt his heart explode and melt into its own waterfall streaming relentlessly down his cheeks. “Please, tell me this isn’t one of my campaigns. This isn’t one of my stories. Tell me it’s all real. Tell me. Please.” Abandoned by his strength, he fell to his knees. “I’m so messed up I don’t even know what’s real anymore. Everyone moved on. Everyone did what you wanted. But I can’t. And I’m sorry… because I wanted to respect your choice, but I needed to come here. For me. For us.”

***

“Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy
Vanished when I saw your face
All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you.”

Enchanted, Taylor Swift

 She reached out an arm, wondering like him whether this was fate’s cruel joke or another dream too real to bear.
He had been right. She had asked him to understand her one last time.
And he had.
He had put all the pieces back together one last time and found her.
“Mike.”
He lifted his gaze from the grass wet with his tears.
“I was hoping you’d come.”
He stood up immediately. “Then… it’s really you.” He ran to her and embraced her.
“I told you I’d always be with you.”
A huge smile filled the young man’s face, tortured for years. “I knew it. I knew it.”
“Only you ever truly understood me.” Eleven held him so tightly that Mike’s new, mature body pressed against hers.
His heart joined the beat of hers, and they began to play once more in the same rhythm.
The rigidity left her forever, replaced by relief and serenity that only Mike Wheeler had ever been able to give her with his mere presence, his focused gaze, his intelligence, and his immense kindness.
“I’m sorry, Mike,” she said, holding his face in her hands. “I never meant to make you suffer this much.”
Both faces were streaked with waterfalls of pure happiness, lighting up their eyes, bound and enchanted by the same magic that had connected them beyond space and time.
Nothing had changed between them.
Nothing was different.
Only their features were more adult, more beautiful.
Eleven caressed him gently as he wiped away yet another tear. “I needed you to believe… so you could live a free and true life.”
He gave her the time of a breath before leaning down and kissing her as he never had before.
Blood warmed her cheeks as Mike’s lips caressed hers gently, growing gradually more urgent, more hungry, more passionate.
Their hands clung desperately to clothes, hair, shoulders eager to remember, to study their new bodies, their new shapes.
Their lips danced with ever-growing intensity, guided by every prayer kept in their hearts through all those years.
They paused only to breathe and look into each other’s eyes, letting their souls — separated for far too long — finally meet and speak.
“I love you.”
Mike didn’t give her time to reply before leaning down again, kissing her with even more fervor and love, finally letting their tongues meet and dance naturally, followed by racing heartbeats and their eager hands.
“I love you,” she managed to say between kisses, as their bodies called to each other fiercely, their souls reunited once more, and their hearts healed one another.

***

“Locked inside my memory
And only you possess the key
No longer drowning and deceived
All because you came for me.”

The Fate of Ophelia, Taylor Swift

 Mike intertwined their fingers, and together they crossed the final ridge.
A breathtaking landscape stretched before them, in a sunset as mesmerizing as a true dream.
Three immense waterfalls plunged into the river below the hill they stood upon.
It was incredible.
“We made it,” she whispered, watching him with a delicate promise in her eyes.
Mike nodded, agreeing with the same words hovering in her gaze. “This isn’t the work of my typewriter.”
“Nor of my powers.”
“It’s not a D&D spell.”
Eleven laughed freely, making him want once more to worship those lips still wet with his kiss. “You’d never looked at me like that before…”
“And I have no intention of stopping.” He rested his forehead against hers. “I don’t want to lose you again, El.”
“It won’t happen again. I promise.” She smiled before kissing him. “This time, for real. Forever.”
“Forever.”

***

“But you'll never be alone
I'll be with you from dusk till dawn
I'll be with you from dusk till dawn
Baby, I'm right here
I'll hold you when things go wrong.”

Dusk Till Dawn, Zayn Malik feat. Sia

 The mist faded, and the sounds of the bed grew louder and more insistent.
Mike shifted beneath the sheets, stretching and rubbing his eyes. Curled on his side, he opened them slightly and sighed as his heart filled with the light filtering through the already open window.
The empty bed reminded him how much he hated sleeping alone, wrapped in cold shivers softened by old nightmares.
He inhaled deeply before sitting up against the headboard and looking ahead.
“What were you dreaming about? You had the sweetest smile on your lips…”
Mike pointed at his mouth. “This one?”
Eleven laughed warmly as she cuddled the baby in her arms. “She missed you.” She sat beside her husband, who immediately reached out to take their daughter.
Mike pressed a gentle kiss to the little girl’s black hair as Eleven snuggled up beside him. “I was dreaming about our true beginning.”
Eleven nodded. “That’s her favorite story,” she smiled, picking up the teddy bear from the bedside table.
Three hearts carved into the wood caught the sunlight, steady and unmoving among the drifting dust motes illuminated by the beam.
“It’s the only one that puts her to sleep,” the young woman said, moving the plush paw and making their daughter laugh. “Besides the sound of your typewriter.”
Mike chuckled, taking the baby’s tiny hand. “And don’t forget our playlist.”
Eleven settled more comfortably against his bare chest, kissed his neck, and went back to playing with their daughter. “We got their letter,” she confessed after giving the baby her pacifier.
He looked straight into her eyes.
“They’re coming, Mike.” Eleven’s gaze mirrored Mike’s, full of hope and love. “This summer they’ll come to meet our little Elizabeth.”

“Flashback when you met me
Your buzzcut and my hair bleached
Even in my worst times
You could see the best of me
Flashback to my mistakes
My rebounds, my earthquakes
Even in my worst lies
You saw the truth in me
And I woke up just in time
Now I wake up by your side
My one and only, my lifeline
I woke up just in time
Now I wake up by your side.”

Dress, Taylor Swift