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    Summary

    Shane has always lived inside himself.

    Inside his head. Inside his routines. Inside the version of him everyone trusts to hold it all together. He has learned through the years how to be disciplined, successful, untochable—how to carry love and expectation withouth letting either slip.

    What he hasn’t learned is how to ask for help.

    Luckily, his boyfriend Ilya, who everyone believe is his rival, notices first. He starts to see the patterns Shane won’t name out loud and the silences that last a little too long. He loves Shane, and that means paying attention, even when what he finds is frightening, even when he struggles too.

    or

    Shane slowly develops an eating disorder during the time he and Ilya are secretly dating while still playing for Montreal and Boston, and Ilya is the first one to notice, and the first one to try to do something about it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    79,840
    Chapters:
    24/28
    Comments:
    440
    Kudos:
    1,244
    Bookmarks:
    428
    Hits:
    40,900
  2. 04 Feb 2026

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  3. 04 Feb 2026

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  11. 03 Feb 2026

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  12. 03 Feb 2026

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    Bookmark Notes:

    Incomplete

  13. 03 Feb 2026

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  14. 03 Feb 2026

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  15. 02 Feb 2026

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  16. 02 Feb 2026

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    Bookmark Notes:

    :)

  17. 02 Feb 2026

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  18. 02 Feb 2026

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  19. 02 Feb 2026

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  20. 02 Feb 2026

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    Bookmark Notes:

    Literally incredible!!!

  21. 02 Feb 2026

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