Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

                He knew from the moment that they told him he couldn’t go into the room that something was wrong.

                Sure, her labour had set in earlier than either of them expected but she’d taken care of herself throughout the duration of her pregnancy. They both read all the books and read every pamphlet they could get their hands on to find out what was safe and what wasn’t when it came to food, music, smells, everything. They had attended every appointment throughout the term plus a few extra just to be safe.

                They had been young but neither was the least bit stupid.

                Their small house was properly furnished for their darling child and everything was going so perfectly.

                So why wasn’t he allowed in the room?

                He sat alone in the waiting room, grief having dissolved into something heavier.

                He felt numb.

                Despite everything they had done right, all the extra care and expenses they couldn’t really afford to indulge in.

                She hadn’t made it.

                So he sat in one of the dozens of unforgiving plastic chairs that lined the waiting room because no-one had told him to do anything else and he was beyond decisions at this point.

                She was dead.

                He remembers how excited she was about everything, from day one to one day before.

                Even the ride over, she talked him out of speeding, saying that nothing could possibly be wrong, that their baby just couldn’t wait to see them and that everything was going to be fine.

                She always said that, even on the darkest of days.

                So he’d slowed down, one hand on the wheel while the other held hers, grip tightening in time with hers as the contractions continued to intensify.

                It could have been minutes, hours, days even until one of the numerous floating white coats that moved through the hallways branching off from this purgatory approached him.

                Apparently he had someone that he needed to visit.

                He just wanted to walk into the room to find her holding the baby they’d been waiting for.

                Instead he was led to a window, showcasing several cots, as plastic and unforgiving as the chairs, but it was what he saw in one of them that made his heart stop.

                The doctor continued to lead him to the room’s entrance, opening the door and letting him enter first. Bending over the cot, he picked up the pink bundle and passed it over to shaking arms.

                After being instructed how to hold the tiny girl properly, he allowed himself to look at her properly.

                She was so small, warm, and soft.

                Her hair, as sparse as it was, appeared to be dark. A trait that would have been shared by the three of them.

                He had to stop his thoughts there as tears threatened to spill over.

                He didn’t feel numb anymore.

                She shifted and yawned in his arms, uncomfortable in his anxious hold.

                He finds this somehow endearing and allows a shaky smile to pull at the edges of his mouth.

                Holding the small, wriggling bundle in his arms he knew he could never blame their little girl for what happened.

                He loved her so much already.

                She began to whimper, and after looking over to the doctor for any help, began to rock her gently at his insistence.

                She quietened down once more.

                He knew that everything was going to be alright.

Chapter Text

               “Daddy, I’m bored, can we go home now?” She pulls down hard on his sleeve.

               Pitch rolls his eyes to this. Yes, he loves his precious daughter dearly, but sometimes she really tries his patience.

               “We just got here, Seraphina. We just need to pick up a few things, and then we can go. Alright?”

               “Can I get something?”

               “If you behave.”

               This seems enough to satisfy the young girl, who bounces beside her father like an enthusiastic duckling.

               It wasn’t like the excursion was anything out of the ordinary. Seraphina knew that she and her Dad always went out to the shops on the weekend. Between work and school hours, it was more or less the only time that they could go out. Pitch had even gone so far as to mark the occasion on the Calender that was stuck to the fridge, along with Seraphina’s latest masterpieces. After accidentally forgetting to stock up supplies once, they fridge had become void of anything, resulting with a less than healthy diet for a growing young girl.

               Pitch had definitely upped his game since that incident.

               Having descended further into the shopping centre, Pitch decided on a course of action. He’d have to get groceries at some point, though knowing Seraphina, she’d want to look at one (see every) toy store.

               Oh, he could just see those puppy dog eyes she was so adept at using already.

               Maybe he could divert her; she did need some new clothes after all. Mentally calculating how much he could afford to indulge her, Pitch had fallen back into one of his many bad habits.

               His thoughts trailing off into what she needed for the upcoming summer, and school, along with wondering about what sales were currently on. He’d unknowingly become oblivious of his surroundings.

               Seraphina was lost in her own daydream about what she’d do as soon as she got back home. She’d recently discovered a bird’s nest wedged in the higher branches of the tree in their backyard. This discovery had led to many hours just observing it, with the girl waiting as to catch the owners of the nest in the act of returning. Any time spent away from her vigil meant that it would be a longer wait until she discovered what type of birds they were.

               She liked birds and the outdoors in general.

               Her dad often said that her mother was just the same, but he always got that sad look in his eyes when anyone mentioned her, so Seraphina never pushed it further.

               She didn’t like seeing her Dad sad.

               Dads weren’t supposed to be sad.

               Then again, kids were supposed to have a Mum and a Dad.

               But her Dad was great, and did just a good a job as any of her classmates’ parents. And it wasn’t like it was weird to only have one or the other. Her friend Sophie only had a Dad on certain weekends. As long as everyone was happy then what did it matter?

               Seeking some reassurance, Seraphina reaches over to grab her Dad’s sleeve again.

               Looking up, she realised one thing.

               This man wasn’t her dad.

               Pitch had finally made his way to the reasonably priced clothing store he was going to let Seraphina loose in. He’d rather have her comfortable and happy in what she was wearing than have her complain about colour choice again. He wasn’t too good with anything on the colour spectrum. It was through some of his attempts at colour co-ordinating her outfits that he’d realised Seraphina rolled her eyes the same way he did.

               The feeling of pride softened the hurt of the girl’s rejection.

               At least he could brush and tie her hair up to the girl’s standards.

               “Alright, Sweetie, the sooner we get this done, the sooner we can go home.”

               There’s only the dull roar of the other patrons.

               “Seraphina?”

               Looking around him, one of his worst nightmares manifests.

               She’s gone.

               “Seraphina!”

                He pushes his way through what seems to be an ever thickening crowd, all intent on heading in the opposite direction.

                Can’t they see that he’s a man on a mission?

                He needs to find her.

                She’s probably scared.

                She shouldn’t be scared because he’s her father, and fathers protect their kids from the world. It’s his job to shelter her, to fill her head full of pleasant alternatives rather than the bitter reality.

                What if someone took her?

                But he’d drilled stranger danger into her head.

                She’d know better, wouldn’t she?

                What if they used force?

                To passerbyers it would’ve just looked like she was being a difficult child when instead some nefarious character was stealing away his darling daughter.

                It was getting harder for him to breathe.

                It was too crowded, with too many passing faces, none of them the one he was looking for.

                His Seraphina was out there, probably being abducted because who could resist the prettiest little girl in the world, and all these people where hindering any chance he could have in saving her from a fate that no parent would wish on any child.

                “Daddy’s coming, Sweetie. Daddy’s coming!” Pitch chanted to himself, hysteria starting to stain the edge of his voice.

                His hands were sweating, breaths coming harder, and he’d become hyper aware of everything around him.

                He could hear infants crying, footsteps upon footsteps.

                Was that Seraphina calling out for him?

                Was that her hair, pulled back into twin pigtails, over there?

                He could hear his heartbeat, blaring over everything.

                Breathing was hard.

                His hands were sweating.

                It was too loud, too many people.

                Where was his baby girl?

                “You alright there, kiddo?”

                Seraphina whipped at her eyes quickly before turning to look at the stranger.

                She was a big girl, and big girls don’t cry.

                She opens her mouth to respond, but clamps it shut when her Dad’s lessons resurface.

                Don’t talk to strangers.

                It’s not safe.

                Her Dad was always telling her what was safe and what wasn’t. It was the reason why when he’d found out that she enjoyed running about outside and poking bugs and other animals with sticks, he’d sat her down on his lap, brought out one of his hundreds of books that were all over the house, and showed her which ones would bite, and which ones were poisonous.

                She’d learnt to take these lessons to heart after that one time she thought it’d be fun to climb through that patch of neat looking leaves. Poison oak wasn’t fun to deal with.

                What if this guy could help her?

                Her Dad wasn’t here to tell her off, what was the harm?

                Where was he?

                She shakes her head.

                “Oh, hey, it’s alright. Did you lose your mum?” He’d bent down but Seraphina still had to look up slightly to see his face.

                He had pretty eyes.

                “No, my Dad,” she sniffles, not realising that she’d answered him.

                It wasn’t fair. Everyone was so tall they were blocking the way. How was she supposed to find her Dad down here?

                “Well that’s silly of him, getting himself lost, don’t you think?” The boy smiles and Seraphina finds her own pulling on her mouth.

                “How about we go find him? He’s probably scared; this place is pretty big after all.”

                Seraphina nods along to this. Her Dad was quite silly, getting him lost and everything. And he was a scaredy cat, always jumping at loud noises or when she jumped out at him.

                “But you’re a stranger. Dad says I’m not allowed to go off with strangers. It’s not safe.” She looks up at him.

                “Well maybe your Dad isn’t so silly if he’s raised someone as smart as you. My name’s Jack,” he holds his hand out.

                “Seraphina,” she holds on tight and shakes it a few times, just as she’d her Dad do when meeting other people.

                “And now we’re not strangers, are we?”

                She thinks this over for a moment before coming to the conclusion that Jack was right.

                “So you’ll help me?”

                “Sure thing, so what does this silly Dad look like?” He stands up, her hand still in his.

                “He’s tall, black shirt, and hair like mine.” She likes how he walks slowly so she can keep up. Her Dad wasn’t too good at that, what with his long spider legs and everything.

                “So I’m looking for a vampire with pigtails? That shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

                Seraphina giggles.

                “No, he has dark hair, like mine.”

                “Gotcha, m’lady. On the lookout for tall, dark, and handsome.”

                She liked this guy. He was funny.

                She was still giggling at the idea of her Dad with pigtails when Jack stopped.

                “Does your Dad have no idea that colours exist?” He says as he looks off to something in the distance before looking down at her.

                Seraphina nods, her hands squeezing tight onto his.

                “I think we’ve found our target. Let’s go.”

                She lets Jack lead their way through the crowd, not the least bit annoyed that she now has to move faster in order to keep up with him.

                Where was she?

                He had to find her.

                She’s probably terrified.

                Why was he such a screw up?

                How could he lose her?

                “Dad?”

                Where was she?

                He’d put her hair up in pigtails today, hadn’t he? Or did she want to have it down. Either way, the dark, almost black hair that caught his eye just then wasn’t her.

                She was scared.

                And alone.

                He had to find her.

                He couldn’t lose her.

                Not now.

                Not ever.

                “Dad!”

                Now that voice he could recognise.

                “Seraphina?”

                “Daddy!”

                She left the side of a young man, and would have barrelled into Pitch’s legs. That was, if the man hadn’t already bent down to sweep her up.

                “Oh, Seraphina. I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention. Are you alright? You’re not hurt or anything? Oh, you must have been so scared.”

                She wraps her arms as best she can around his shoulders, burying her face into his chest momentarily.

                “I’m okay. Jack found me and helped. He said you were silly for getting lost and that we had to find you before you got too scared. You didn’t get too scared, did you?” She pulls back to look at Pitch with wide, damp eyes.

                “Of course I was scared; I didn’t have you to keep me out of danger.”

                Seraphina seemed satisfied with this, settling her head onto her Dad once more.

                She didn’t care that she was supposed to be too big for him to be carrying her, not right now.

                “Thank you. Thank you so much for finding her. I don’t know what I-“

                “It’s alright. She’s fine. You’re fine. It’s all good.” Jack rubs the back of his neck.

                “Surely there must be-“

                Ringing fills the air and Jack bashfully answers his phone. After a brief exchange, he pockets the device once more.

                “Sorry about that but I really, really need to go.”

                “But-“

                “Seriously, it’s nothing. Make sure not to let him wander off on his own again, right, m’lady?”

                Seraphina smiles at this, waving the young man off as he disappears into the crowd.

                “Oh, I’m so, so sorry, darling.” Pitch pulls her tight into him.

                “Daddy, you’re crushing me.” She still doesn’t ask to be put down.

                “How about we go get lunch, your choice?”

                “Does it have to be lunch food?”

                Pitch chuckles.

                “Anything you want.”

                “Waffles.”

                He shifts her onto his shoulders, back straining slightly under her weight. He never used to have a problem carrying her like this.

                She was growing so fast. It seemed like only yesterday she’d been a tiny, and red faced. He’d been able to carry her with one arm if he’d so wanted.

                Now though.

                His back was already protesting, but he couldn’t bear to act on it.

                Not today.

                For now she was his baby girl.

                His little princess.

                And he was going to treat her as such.

                Seated down in one of the booths at the waffle house, Seraphina reached over, using her spoon to scoop up a dollop of ice-cream and chocolate sauce from the top of their shared ‘lunch’.

                “Jack was nice and really funny. He called you a vampire.”

                Pitch reaches over to dab at her mouth with a serviette.

                And here he thought he’d raised her to have table manners.

                He’d chastise her about that later.

                Maybe.

                “Did he now?”

                “Yep. And he also walked slowly enough so I didn’t have to run, and he has cold hands even though it’s getting warm. Did you see his eyes, they were really pretty, don’t you think?”

                “They were, weren’t they?” He cuts off a small piece of the waffle, skewering it onto his fork.

                “Yup. I think he’s a snow angel or something, it’s the only thing that makes sense.”

                “Why’s that, sweetie?”

                “Because he’s a guardian angel, but he looked like a snow person, because only snow people have white hair, like in that movie we watched the other week.”

                At times he was envious of the imagination Seraphina possessed. Always making up tall tales (more often or not to get out of trouble) or making random tangents in order to explain something.

                “His hair did look like the White Witch’s, who’s to say he isn’t one of her consorts?”

                She looked at him as if he’d said something stupid.

                “He can’t be a bad guy, he has pretty eyes. Don’t you know anything?”

                “Obviously not enough, so it’s a good thing I have you to teach me these things.”

                Seraphina grins up at him, revealing food coated teeth.

                Pitch resisted the urge to just scrub at her face now, choosing instead to bask in her happiness.

                Honestly, what more could he possibly want than for his daughter to be as happy as possible?