AsTheJayFucks (asthejayflies)
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Martin's Marvelous Misery Marathon by AsTheJayFucks (asthejayflies) for QualifiedMartin, ghostofnoodlewrap
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
18 Oct 2022
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Summary
Two weeks after moving into the Archives, Martin is feeling really pent up on a Saturday night and decides to risk a wank‚ thinking that Jon had either (hopefully) already gone home‚ or that he would stay holed up in his office long enough for him to bust out a quick one. It's been a month since his last orgasm‚ surely it won't take that long.
He's wrong on all three counts.
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Or‚ in which i subject Martin to the most excruciatingly mortifying shit i can think of‚ but it's okay actually bc at least he gets a boyfriend out of it by the end :)
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Summary
Experience and Gertrude Robinson had taught Elias Bouchard two things:
1) Never underestimate a woman with a dead cat and access to C4 explosives, and
2) The Archives worked best when it was a polycule of socially awkward, actively fucking nerds.Every previous Archivist had been game for Jonah’s particular brand of team-building (aka, office orgies). He’d thought Gertrude’s single cat-lady stance had been mostly ironic. It hadn’t.
Unfortunately, her successor seemed to be following in her footsteps in that way. Not only was Jonathan Sims the single least sexual person Jonah had ever met (including Gertrude, who at least had some dommy vibes) he’d chosen two assistants with whom he’d already formed purely platonic bonds and who had previously been in a relationship with each other and amicably decided that it just hadn’t worked out. The most mature, adult, reasonable and unsexy situation imaginable.
There was only one option. The last resort. The big guns.
Martin Blackwood. Office slut.
The most hilarious part is that Martin doesn’t even know he’s a slut yet. But Jonah’s an expert at tipping one domino over and watching the rest fall…
…in bed.
Bookmarked by AsTheJayFucks (asthejayflies)
05 Jan 2026
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Summary
"I have to go", Martin says, and Jon knew, he knew, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. "Jon", he says again, more insistently, though the urging tone is laced through with something straining, pained. "Jon, I have to- I need to go."
"I know", Jon says, doesn't move.
"This shouldn't have happened", Martin says into the space between them, even as his fingers clench around Jon's waist.
"I know."
"We should regret this", Martin whispers, and maybe he's right. He should be right.
Jon swallows.
"I know."
~oOo~
Or, the one where an invisible Martin catches Jon in a moment of pining intimacy, is discovered, and they have even more desperately pining sex about it.
Bookmarked by AsTheJayFucks (asthejayflies)
08 Dec 2025
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Porn Reviewer Husk AU part 6/10(Just a little snack!) (series is complete)
Angel writes his first porn scenario, but Husk is left unimpressed. They decide to act it out to see how it would work as a proper porn script.
Series
- Part 6 of Porn Reviewer Husk AU
Bookmarked by AsTheJayFucks (asthejayflies)
26 Nov 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
I love how silly and in love they are as they indulge in this ridiculously cheesy roleplay 💙
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Summary
When Angel gifts Husk three 'One Night Free With Me' coupons, the spider thinks he's in for three nights of sex. Husk, however, has different plans. He's going to show Angel how much he means to him.
(Mostly minor Christmas themes, one of the 3 nights in particular, so can be enjoyed year-round.)
Bookmarked by AsTheJayFucks (asthejayflies)
26 Nov 2025
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Summary
Husk gives Angel a very special Christmas gift; one night together with no strings. Is Angel prepared to have only a taste of his favorite bartender, or will the pain be too much to bear?
(Can be read any time of year as the Christmas theme is mild)
Bookmarked by AsTheJayFucks (asthejayflies)
26 Nov 2025