Chapter Text
Fili fell first, his body crumpling to the ground and suddenly that’s all Kili could see. The battle raged around him, but Kili only had eyes for his brother, eyes wide and unseeing, blood pooling from the wound in his side.
Kili barely felt it when he was run through, his only thought that at least they would be together in death.
But instead of waking up in the maker’s halls as he expected, Kili found himself in a space of white light. He fell to his knees, hanging his head. His face was wet and he realised he was crying.
“We failed.” he choked.
“Well,” came a warm, echoing voice from behind him, “that’s a matter of perspective. The line of Durin has fallen, but your home was reclaimed. Erebor shall live on.”
Kili turned to the figure behind him, too full of grief to give him more than a cursory glance.
“Ama will be alone,” Kili choked. “We promised we would return to her."
The figure smiled. “She would be alone, if that is the choice you make.”
Kili looked up. “Choice? What are you-... Who are you?”
“Who do you think I am?”
Kili rubbed the moisture from his eyes, and gave the man before him a proper look. At least, Kili assumed he was a man, though none of his many braids held the normal signifiers of gender. He was tall by dwarf standards, looking down at him with kindness in his eyes. His hair was wild, his face bearded, and upon looking on him Kili was filled with a sense of knowing, and awe, and family. His eyes widened, and he ducked his head into a bow.
“Aule, Maker, I… It’s an honour…”
Aule chuckled, and waved his hand. “Now, there’s no need for all that. Rise, Kili of the line of Durin. My children need bow to no one.”
Kili stumbled to his feet. “Mahal, why am I here? Why am I not in your halls, with my kin? You… mentioned a choice?”
“I did. You could go to my halls, join your kin, spend eternity with your brother as he is now- sharing your memories. Your mother would join you when it was her time. You could rest. The people of Erebor will survive, but not thrive, without the line of Durin there to guide them.”
“And… what’s the other option?”
“You could go back, with my blessing. You would keep the memories you have now, of this timeline, but you would be the only one to do so. It would be up to you to effect change, and I could not guarantee how things would turn out.”
“Ama… How does she take our deaths? Is she okay? And the rest of the company- What about Bilbo?”
“Your mother… becomes but a shell of herself. Losing her whole family took a large toll on Dis, daughter of the line of Durin, as it would anyone. Other than your uncle, the rest of your dwarrow companions survived the battle. As for the halfling-”
“Aule.” A chastising voice came from behind the maker, beautiful woman emerged from the light. Her skin was dark, and her hair looked like it was made from a meadow of flowers, flowing down her back to the ground. She was taller even than an elf, making her husband look short in comparison.
“My wife!” Aule kissed her hand, and Yavanna turned to the stunned dwarf, and smiled.
“As you can see, my husband here has picked up bad habits. My children are not half of anything, small though they may be. Bilbo, he lives a long life for a Hobbit, but spends much of it alone. He adopts a child, and that child ends up being the force for the side of light in a great war. As strong and brave as my children are, I would not wish that fate on any of them. They would stand stronger with allies, and no ally is stronger than a friendship with the line of Durin. Had you survived, it would ease the burden they carry."
“So… You want me to go back?”
“I do.”
“Yavanna…” Aule sighed. “It needs to be his choice, and it is not a choice to be made lightly. It is a serious task, one that if treated with anything but the utmost resolve, would be doomed to fail.”
“Why me?” Kili asked, looking back and forth between the two Valar. "I mean... I'm hardly the most accomplished Dwarrow out there. Why not send Uncle back? Even Fili is older than me..." He trailed off.
"We can only send one person back," Yavanna explained, smiling at him still. "Your Uncle needs outside guidance to prevent his fall into sickness, besides sending him back with the memories of his previous illness and death would be cruel."
"And true, we could send your brother," Aule continued, "but you both work best as a pair, and I believe it would be easier for you to convince him to help you, with no questions asked if need be, than the other way around. But the choice is up to you."
“I’ll do it.” Kili said determinedly. “If I have a chance to make things better I have to try. For Amad and for Bilbo.”
“You have to understand, you have my favour, but once you have returned to Arda I will not be able to help you. The Valar cannot interfere directly in the lives of mortals. Communicative dreams is the best we can do. You will be on your own.”
Kili set his jaw. “I understand. I’ll do it.”
Aule smiled. “I knew you would. My children rarely back down from a challenge. Here, my blessing, as promised.” And he held out his hand, pouring something small and shiny into Kili’s outstretched palm.
“Look after my child, young dwarf, and you may just earn my favour too.”
“I’ll look after him, and his adopted son,” Kili promised. “They won’t be alone.”
Yavanna smiled.
“Do you have any other advice? Any… rules or guidelines? Do I have to keep this secret?” His heart clenched at the thought of hiding something so large from Fili.
“You may share your past timeline and our meeting here with who you wish, though I suggest you consider carefully before you do so. Though it may be tempting to wear my blessing openly, it may make your journey more complicated.”
Kili nodded, though he had no clue what Mahal meant by “wear my blessing”.
“Good luck, my child,” Aule smiled, “I’ve heard the journey back to your body is uncomfortable, so do brace yourself.” And with that, he reached out and touched Kili’s forehead.