Chapter Text
Church turns sixteen in February and, as planned, his father gifts him with a Scorpion, a car that Dr. Church says is “as close to an actual tank as possible”. It's not cool and he bitches about it constantly while he's driving, that first day when he grabs his friends and drives them up to Valhalla to enjoy the freedom of being able to do just that.
(Grif and Tucker have had their licenses for ages; the novelty has worn off of them a bit, but it's nice to have someone else driving for a change.)
“Hey Simmons,” Church says, glancing at the boy in the rearview mirror. “When are you going to get your license?”
“Oh. Um.” Simmons has been having a slap-fight with Grif in the back, but now he stops and pushes his glasses up nervously. “Well, um. My dad doesn't really want me to have it yet. He's not sure if I'm mature enough to handle the responsibility.”
“Fuck that, you're more mature than the rest of us.” Church scowls at the mirror and turns his attention back to the road. “So he prefers you have to rely on other people to be able to get around?”
“Of course he does,” Grif says. “How else can he be an over-controlling asswipe? He just wants to leave Simmons dependent on him, that's all.”
“He's looking out for me.” Simmons shifts uncomfortably. “I mean, he's doing a terrible job of it, but he is trying. And does it matter? Grif does all the driving when we're out anyway and I never go anywhere without him.”
“I do all the driving because you don't have a license. Maybe I want to chill in the passenger's seat and distract you for a change.”
“I don't distract you. That's dangerous.”
“Of course you do. You sit there looking hot, and all I can think about is kissing you. That's pretty distracting, dude.”
“Oh.” At Grif's suggestive eyebrow waggle, Simmons hunches over, embarrassed but clearly pleased. Grif scoots over into his personal space, gets right up on him, and grins.
“Hey! No gay shit in the back of my car, guys. Keep it clean.”
Grif frowns at him, but scoots back over into his own seat (between them, he grabs Simmons hand and tangles it with his own). “Like you've never done any gay shit before.”
“No, because unlike you fuckers, I am actually straight.”
“Right,” Grif drawls out, giving him a disbelieving look. “Totally, completely one-hundred percent straight.”
In his lap, his phone buzzes, and he glances down to see a text from Tucker.
Dude cut it out if Church knows I spilled the beans he'll never speak to me again.
Grif sighs, and shoots off a reply. Im not gona tell unclench ur ass cheeks
Seriously. He doesn't want anyone to know.
All right, all right. Jesus. Are you sure Caboose is the one you have a crush on?
Shut up
Church side-eyes Tucker curiously. “Who are you texting so furiously over there, Tuck?”
“Nobody! Um. Caboose?” He hastily switches his text conversation back over to Caboose's. “He's pouting because he couldn't come with us today.”
“He's not the only one,” Church mutters, glancing irritably over at his friend. “How's that whole 'Operation: Woo Train' going?”
“Terrible,” Tucker scoffs. “I keep giving him presents and I gave him a whole box of chocolate at Valentine's and I've used all my best pickup lines and nothing. You think maybe he's really not interested? Ugh, this is stupid. I just want to kiss his sweet dumb stupid face, why won't he notice?”
“Because he's Caboose, and Caboose is an idiot.”
Tucker opens his mouth to protest, then sighs an irritated “Yeah...” and slides down in his seat, back to texting presumably Caboose with a defeated look in his eyes. Meanwhile, Church's scowl deepens and he turns his gaze back to the road. Grif frowns, glancing between them, and leans forward to talk to Church.
“So how does South feel about not getting to come with us today?” he asks. Church glances at him.
“She doesn't care. Said she didn't want to hang out with you losers anyway. She's doing stuff with Wash and Carolina today.”
“I thought she and Carolina didn't like each other? And I'm not touching that Wash thing.”
Church shakes his head. “She's still into him, but it's not a big deal or anything. I mean, feelings don't just go away just cause you want them to.” He glances over at Tucker, who doesn't notice, and makes a scoffing noise. “That shit takes time. She's just not letting it control her. And she shouldn't. You fail, you move on. Find someone new. That's how it works. Especially if the person you like has someone else.”
He glances over at Tucker again, and Grif sits back in his seat thoughtfully. He gets the feeling that something happened between his friends when he wasn't paying attention; he resolves to ask Donut later. Donut always seems to know everything that goes on in their collective friend group.
*
Valhalla is almost identical to Blood Gulch, but unlike Blood Gulch Valhalla has a shitty mall with a shitty movie theatre at one end and a shitty cafe at the other. They get lunch at the cafe and then start ambling their way down the long court toward the theatre, wandering in and out of shops at whim. Tucker is still texting Caboose regularly; every time his phone buzzes Church scowls or huffs or otherwise shows his displeasure in some way, and his words to Tucker are getting shorter and more bitter with each one.
Grif breaks away to use the restroom while they're wandering through an arts and crafts shop, and when he comes back he can hear Church yelling.
“-ammit, Tucker, would you just shut up about Caboose already? We get it, you think he's cute, we don't care.”
“What is your problem, dude? You've been bitching at me all day. I mean more than usual.”
“I'm just sick of hearing about your stupid crush on Caboose, okay?”
“Yeah well tough shit cause this is what's going on with me right now. Or are we only allowed to talk about you and your shit? Self-centered prick.”
“Don't go making this about me, jackass.”
“Why? We make everything else about you. Why not this too?”
“I do not!”
“Oh yeah? Then what do you call this? You just can't handle that I moved on. You're the one who dumped me, Church. Or did you forget that?”
“Well maybe I regret that!”
“What?” Tucker seems taken aback, then goes back to glaring. “Well maybe you should have said something sooner. Does your girlfriend know?”
“One, of course she does. Just like I know she's only using me to get over Wash. Two, please, don't sit there and pretend that everyone, literally everyone, already knows that we're going to crash and burn before the year's up. Half of you are taking bets about when it happens. Guess what? We know it too.”
“Wow. What a healthy relationship you have.” Tucker scoffs. “Doesn't matter anyway. I told you, I moved on.”
“To Caboose.” Church rolls his eyes. “Yeah, what a catch he is.”
“He's a better catch than you.”
“What?”
“Don't act surprised! At least Caboose is actually fucking nice once in awhile!”
“What?!”
“Yeah, nice. I know you've got that cynical bastard jerk-with-a-heart-of-gold thing going on but it's too exhausting to put up with. If I'm with someone I want them to actually pay me a fucking compliment once in awhile.”
“Well if I'm so hard to put up with then why are you still hanging around with me?”
“You know what? That's a good fucking question.”
Church looks like he's been struck, but Tucker ignores him and spins on his heel to storm off. Outside the store, he takes out his phone and they can see him speaking animatedly with someone. A few minutes later he comes back in and goes straight to Grif, bypassing Church and refusing to look at him.
“I called Cappy,” he says. “He's gonna come pick me up and take me home. You guys enjoy your movie.”
“Um- dude-”
“I'll see you later, Grif, Simmons. Church?”
“What?”
“Go fuck yourself.”
“You first, asshole.”
Tucker storms off again, flipping them off as he goes, leaving the three of them standing there. Grif and Simmons exchange a look, and sigh.
“So much for a good day hanging out,” Simmons says. Grif just takes his hand. “I hope this doesn't last as long as when you were fighting Church.”
“Tucker's not the sort to hold grudges for too long,” Grif says, though he isn't sure he's if he's reassuring himself or Simmons.
“Neither are you,” Simmons points out. Grif just sighs again.
“True.”
*
Tucker sends Simmons a text when Cappy comes to pick him up, just as they're making their way in for the movie.
I'll tell you later how the movie goes
Please like you're gonna be watching the movie and not making out with simmons the whole time
I'll tell you later how the first five minutes of the movie goes
k
Take care dude
whatever
A pause, and then, anyway cap's taking me for ice cream to cheer me up so fuck you guys I get ice cream and you have to babysit church
In the theatre, they get seats in the middle. Grif and Simmons start making out about five minutes into the movie, while Church sulks beside them. He halfheartedly throws popcorn at the screen and them and the few other patrons for a little while, but without Tucker there to join him as usual he gives it up pretty quickly, slumping down and scowling at the screen.
They'd planned a sleepover at Church's for his birthday, but he's in such a sour mood when they get to his house that he clearly isn't interested in any of the plans they'd made. He sprawls out facedown on the couch in the gameroom, leaving Grif and Simmons to play Call of Modern Warcraft in between trying to cheer him up.
Sometime around midnight, the door opens and they can hear laughter coming up the stairs. Moments later, the door opens a little too hard and Carolina and South come in. South spots Church and wanders over to him, staring down at him a moment before pushing his legs out of the way so she can sit down. He rolls over and sets his legs in her lap, half-glaring at her.
“What's got the birthday boy so down?” she asks.
“I dunno. Maybe I'm miffed that my girlfriend would rather spend my birthday with my sister than me.”
“Yeah right. You didn't want me there with you and your buddies any more than I wanted to be there. Where's Tucker?”
Church huffs and hauls himself to his feet. “Who fucking cares. I'm going to bed. See you guys in the morning.”
He storms off, leaving South staring after him, bewildered. Once he's gone, she looks immediately to Grif and Simmons for an explanation.
“They had a fight,” Simmons says. “Um, apparently there used to be something between them and, uh, Church kind of still has feelings for Tucker. Sort of. Sorry.”
“Oh, that.” South rolls her eyes. “I was wondering when that was gonna explode. All right.” She stands. “I'll go take care of him, I guess. Lord knows he's gonna be a big dumb baby about this forever now. Asshole.”
She storms off after him, and Carolina immediately begins turning the volume up on the game.
“Trust me on this one,” she says. “South is a screamer and Alpha swears creatively.”
It takes them a second, and then Grif gets a horrified look on his face. He jumps to his feet. “You know what? I think we should go on a midnight snack run. Right now.”
*
South and Church's relationship is about eighty percent physical, and they'll be the first ones to admit it. But when the physical is sorted and they're sprawled out on his bed, a foot and a half of space between them because their skin is too sensitive for touching right now, there's a certain intimacy to them too. She nudges his foot with hers and turns to look at him.
“So you told Tucker?”
“I shouted it at him in the middle of an argument.” He buries his face in his pillow, then rolls over and stares up at the ceiling. “Hey South?”
“Yeah?”
“Am I really that hard a person to be around?”
She snorts. “Yes. You're awful.”
“Oh.” He shifts uncomfortably, then throws his arm over his eyes. “How do you put up with me?”
“I'm pretty awful too,” she says. “I like being around awful people. It's the nice people who annoy me.”
“At least you get it.”
“Sure. You'll sort things out with Tucker, I'm sure of it. Now.” She rolls over to him and runs her hand over his chest. “You ready to go again?”
“You're insatiable, woman.”
“Yeah.” She throws her leg over him and sits straddling him. “So is that a yes or...?”