Chapter Text
Maybe it shouldn't have surprised him at all at this point, but when Perry entered the training room that day, he found no one there except for a giant stuffed Koala bear. Well, not as giant as the late Mr. Cuddle Tums, and looking much stiffer, almost like a soldier standing at attention, but hey, a bear was a bear. Perry wasn't the kind of person to turn down a gift. So, naturally, he tackled it straight to the ground, wrapping it in a big bear hug and burying his nose in its bear fur.
The first thing Perry noticed was that the Koala wasn't as fluffy as it looked, and it smelled funny, even for a toy freshly out of the box. And then its eyes started to glow blue. With a heavy creak, the Koala stood up and held Perry at arm's length as if he were the toy. Perry wasn't sure what he was supposed to do in this situation. It didn't look like an attack, and yet, the teddy bear smile didn't quite reach the cold metallic eyes.
“Ah, I see you’ve met our newest recruit,” it was Carlo, emerging from the small back room, holding a remote control. He pressed several buttons, and the Koala bear set Perry down. Carlo leaned on one of the bear’s legs and said, “I talked to our tech team and had it built just for you. It’ll make training a lot easier when it’s just you and us.”
Major Monogram followed Carlo through the same door. “This better work, Carlo. It cost us more than Mandy’s repairs.”
Carlo pushed his glasses up with a certain air of smugness about him, then pressed more buttons, rather like a master pianist sliding his fingers across the keyboard, and the Koala Bear performed a series of moves, combining several fighting styles that Perry recognized.
“Of course, this is just a prototype. I thought we make them look like native Australian animals to remind you of your old home. So, what do you think?”
“Carlo, Koala Bears don’t know Jiu-Jitsu,” Perry said rather seriously.
But Major Monogram was impressed. "Not bad, I like what I see so far. Add some laser eyes, and you've got yourself a deal. In fact, let's make more. I'm sure we can fit them into the budget somehow. Maybe they'll save us a few classes with your other teachers. I mean, those guys aren't cheap. Seriously, Beigebeard insists we pay him in gold coins."
Perry wasn't so sure about that. Now that he'd seen it move, the Koala Bear reminded him of those sinister animatronics from that pizza place Nigel once took him to, except less squeaky and much better timed.
They began training, and Perry found himself trying to dodge rather than fight back, simply because he didn't want to touch the Koala bear with its hard, frigid exterior hidden under its rough, fake fur. Carlo was careful to keep the level at Beginner, but they advanced quickly and reached Intermediate that same day. Perry wasn't looking forward to dealing with any more of them, though. Mr. Cuddle Tums had been a much better training partner, and he missed playing with Carlo now that he could control everything from the remote. The later models didn't even require remote control operation, so Perry ended up feeling terribly lonely some days.
At least things were starting to go better at home, and the atmosphere was getting warmer. Nigel and Linda didn't argue as often and were just as excited when Candace reached a milestone. She was learning to crawl, although she had a habit of bumping into things, even after Linda tried to baby-proof the whole house, and soon she was walking!
The first time she had done this, when she had really done it, Linda had been holding her hands in the upstairs hallway, and Perry had been standing in front of them to motivate her because Candace liked to follow him around the house. Perry found that it didn't annoy him as much as when little Jeremy did it. When Linda let go of her, Candace managed to take three steps all by herself and straight into Perry's arms.
“Nigel, please tell me you got this,” Linda said, proud tears in her eyes.
Nigel gave a thumbs-up, and when he took the camera away from his face, Perry saw him smile like he hadn’t smiled in a long time, maybe since the day Perry first called him dad or the day Candace was born.
As of speech, of course, Candace's first word was "Mom", and it was a word she seemed to really like quite a bit. She used it when she was happy, but also when she was in a bad mood because she quickly learned that Linda always came when called. And her second word was "pewee". Perry liked to think that was his name, although he couldn't tell for sure because he was feeding Candace puree when she first said it. In any case, Perry was pleased that he had played a part in expanding his sister’s vocabulary.
And she was a quick learner, so by her first birthday, she already knew some of life’s most elementary words like “cake,” “happy,” “mine,” and “thankies”. They celebrated in the backyard, and almost the whole neighborhood came. Even their little oak tree had grown tall enough to be decorated with the most delicate of paper garlands.
Now Candace was old enough to play with the toys Nigel had bought her, except for the ones with very small parts that were a choking hazard. She even liked Nigel's superhero figures, which Perry had never been especially fond of. So Nigel began reading comic books to her instead of picture books, and Candace laughed and pointed at every strip box and speech bubble. Linda normally thought that comic books contained far too much violence for young children, but she was so happy that Nigel had finally found an activity that both he and Candace could enjoy that she let him have it.
But Candace discovered her greatest special interest when she was about three years old. With Perry’s intense training and Nigel’s many projects, and even Linda often busy around the house, Candace found herself quite alone most days. There were no other children her age in the immediate neighborhood, and the playdates Linda had tried to organize with some of her old friends’ or cooking class classmates’ children had not gone over well. Candace had once kicked sand into a little boy’s eyes after he had ruined her sandcastle, and she had bitten a little girl's hand after she had accidentally broken the arm of Candace’s favorite Barbie doll. Linda had had to make many phone calls and bake many apology pies, but Nigel had insisted that Candace had a very strong sense of justice and that such a thing should never be punished. Perry agreed with him, so Linda had to agree too, and Candace got away with a short lecture and a new doll to replace the old one.
And yet, the fact remained that Candace was a rather lonely child, and what some of the neighbors began to label as difficult. She enjoyed playing well enough with Jeremy, who was careful with her toys and let Candace style his hair and even put glitter in it, but Jeremy was a year older, so he was already going to preschool, not to mention Mrs. Johnson enrolled him in a lot of extracurricular activities to broaden his horizons, even though Jeremy was only four.
Well, on one of those quiet days, Candace discovered a cartoon on TV about a funny little duckling named Ducky Momo. Ducky Momo didn't talk; he just quacked, but there was a lot of talking in the show, and especially a lot of singing. It was the kind of cartoon where you were asked to find very obvious objects in the background, and the theme song would get stuck in your head for days. When he'd been Candace's age, Perry had much preferred cartoons where animals chased each other, slid on banana peels, and threw anvils at each other's heads, especially since he knew that no real animals had been harmed in the making of the material. There was no slapstick humor in Ducky Momo, or any type of humor really, but Candace smiled and clapped every time Momo appeared on screen and sent hearts to the viewer.
Perry knew all too well how she must have felt. He didn't have any friends his own age, though he had to pretend he did. He was older now, but the other cadets treated him as if he were invisible or rolled their eyes when they saw him in the hallways. So, even though it wasn't exactly his style, Perry tried to spend as much time with Candace as possible when he was free, even if it meant watching Ducky Momo for hours on end.
Nigel also noticed a change in Candace's behavior, that Ducky Momo made her happy and more outgoing, so he made a point of buying all the merchandise he could get his hands on – Ducky Momo bedspreads, Ducky Momo pajamas, Ducky Momo schoolbags, Ducky Momo glitter pens, Ducky Momo raincoats, Ducky Momo kiddie pools, Ducky Momo toothbrushes, and even a toilet brush. But by far her favorite was the Ducky Momo plush toy that she carried with her everywhere, even to the supermarket or when they went to the beach, where Candace could wear her Ducky Momo swimsuit and use her Ducky Momo floatie. However, Nigel never sat with them to watch the cartoon. He always said he was busy, although he was never too busy to marathon the original Space Adventure trilogy.
Meanwhile, at OWCA, things started to get a little more intense. Now that Perry had outdone Carlo's army of Australian animatronics (well, every animal except the platypus because Carlo didn't think a platypus could do much in a fight, although Perry disagreed) and had earned every belt in every color possible in every type of martial arts, the Major decided he was ready to move on to the extreme training floor. That's how Perry learned to ride a motorcycle and drive a monster truck at the age of ten, long before he got a driver's license. He even made friends with sharks because he was always sneaking them fish sticks and sushi from the cafeteria.
But then the Major decided that Perry should focus on weapon combat, specifically firearms, because Perry was already proficient with almost any type of sword. Of course, Perry had a very good aim after years of watching his mother use the tranquilizer gun, and the Major would only let him use a paint gun to start with, but Perry was uneasy about using a real gun one day, or the more permanent kind, as Megan had once called it.
Perry had seen enough of what those things could do on Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro's telenovelas, where practically everyone owned a gun. Well, the main characters always made it after two episodes of hospital drama, but everyone else usually never woke up. If Vicente Rodriguez could survive being shot a dozen or so times over three seasons, then Perry was convinced he could do the same. Still, he was worried that he would be expected to shoot anyone that OWCA considered a supporting character or an extra.
It was always the same: the bang, then the shocked looks from the others, the bloodstain, the blank stare that sometimes lasted a full minute, then the collapse. Perry found that lately the shooting scenes bothered him almost more than the kissing scenes, even the ones with very bad fake blood or the weird ones that censored the bloodstain, blurring out half of the shirt as if it were a reality-warping weapon. Perry would have preferred a reality-warping weapon to a gun.
So it was a surprise when, watching Ducky Momo with Candace one day, he realized that he didn't have to pretend to like it for her sake anymore. Ducky Momo lived in a world where it was always sunny and full of rainbows and lollipop trees, where nothing bad ever happened. There was no violence, no guns, no bangs, just laughter and singing. It felt like a breath of fresh air compared to OWCA, and he finally understood why it was Candace's happy place, her escape. The stuffed Momo was even the same size and shape as Perry's stuffed platypus, so when Candace slipped him an invitation to her tea party under the door, Perry made sure to bring him along and sit him in the chair next to Ducky Momo while Candace poured them invisible tea from her Ducky Momo teapot.
Perry remembered the conversation he had had with Major Monogram a while ago about fighting to make the world a better place. Even though he was old enough now and had seen enough to know that the real world could never be as rosy and happy as Ducky Momo's candy land, he still wanted to give it his best and believed that he could change things for the better one day, but he would do it in his own way.
So he trained even harder than before to earn the respect of his masters. If he knew so many different moves and was creative with them, he wouldn't need a gun; he could be just as effective without one. So that's exactly what he did. He had finally become their equal, even taking down El Hormiguero Eléctrico once, disarming Madame Moreau, and inventing a new Tai Chi move that Shi Yan Xuan named Turquoise Platypus Swings Tail, in his honor. Perry knew he could do this.
***
For Candace's fourth birthday, Nigel took her and Perry to Ducky Momo Land. The rides were slow, and they had to wait hours in line before Candace could get a picture with the park's Momo mascot, who was looking pretty flabby by then, considering it was the middle of summer. Nigel didn't join them on the rides at all, preferring to cheer them on from the sidelines or go buy them ice cream. They didn't sell many flavors, just lemon, vanilla, and banana. Even the popcorn looked yellower than it should have been. Despite all this, Candace was having a great time.
Linda had stayed at home to throw Candace a surprise party. Candace hadn't looked too surprised, though. Perry suspected she already had an idea about it because she'd seen the utensils Linda had used to make the cake in the sink and caught Nigel building a giant confetti cannon in the garage.
There were fewer guests than at Candace's last birthday party. Nigel said that was normal and that as you got older, fewer people came, but that didn't make much sense to Perry because he had gathered a much bigger crowd at his tenth birthday party. That might have had something to do with Candace bombarding an old lady from the crochet club with cupcakes at her third birthday party after she criticized Candace for removing vegetables she didn't like from her pizza slice.
Meanwhile, everyone at Perry's parties was always saying things like: "Did he help you bake all this? Wow, and he's only ten." "Perry is so well-mannered for his age." "Perry looks so handsome in his party suit." "What a little gentleman!" "Maybe I should adopt, too." "Oh, if only my Spencer could be more like your Perry." The truth was that Perry had no idea who half these people were and preferred their backyard when it wasn't littered with confetti and cupcake wrappers, but he had no choice. He had to keep up the act of being a regular suburban kid and make himself as pleasant, placid, and trustworthy as possible so that no one would ever suspect anything.
And the worst part was that if kids came to your parties, then you had to go to their parties too. A secret agent had to make a lot of sacrifices, even when those sacrifices meant having their head pressed into cake by a bunch of five-year-olds. Perry always flashed a perfect smile and tried to forget for a while the hundred or so different ways he knew how to break someone's bones.
In a way, he was jealous of Candace because she was free to express herself however she wanted and didn’t have to care what other people said. But of course, he couldn’t be mad.
“I’m glad they didn’t come,” Candace told him as most of the guests started to leave the table. “More cake for us!”
Perry chuckled and took the slice of cake Candace offered him. She was his sister, alright. He’d heard people whisper before that it was obvious he was adopted because he and Candace couldn’t be more different, but they had no idea what they were talking about.
As a belated gift to Candace, Nigel introduced a duck-themed ride to Sun Zone. Because of Ducky Momo's trademark, he had to call it Lucky Ducky Party. It was basically just duck-shaped bumper boats bobbing along in a large pool, but there were giant plastic eggs that occasionally popped up, and if you managed to bump your boat into them, you got bonus points. Candace was really good at it, and Perry liked water rides, but Nigel excused himself that he had to help Abby with something, and let them have their fun.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Perry asked.
Candace had been having a blast for the last half hour, bumping into Perry’s boat and sending him straight into the eggs for extra bonus points, but now she was just floating there, looking small and lost.
“Daddy doesn’t like playing with me.”
"What? What makes you say that?" Perry asked anxiously.
"Well, he always goes on the big-kid rides with you, but he never wants to come with me."
"That's because I'm scared of heights and he wants to support me."
This might have been the biggest lie Perry had ever told, but he had to think fast.
“Really?”
Candace squinted at him. She had heard stories about his adventures in Australia and how he and Linda had met on that fateful day, but Perry wasn’t sure how much of it she believed.
“Oh, yeah, that’s what dads do. But you’re so brave already that he knows you can handle it.”
“I can, I can!” Candace said, jumping up and down in her seat. But then she stopped and let go of the plastic steering wheel. “But I’d like it if he played with me. Just once…”
Perry glanced around, searching for a quick solution, then grabbed the wheel and steered his boat straight into Candace’s, pushing her into an egg and splashing her all over.
“He-hey!” Candace laughed, pushing her wet hair out of her face. “Okay, you’re on!”
Perry laughed too and steered away, letting Candace chase him around the pool.
He wasn't worried. Nigel would come around; he knew that. When Candace was old enough for “big-kid rides”, Nigel would want to spend time with her all the time, and they would be able to watch all the PG-rated superhero movies together, maybe even PG-13 one day.
His family was fine. Well, okay, his parents didn't go out on dates to fancy restaurants or the opera like Major Monogram did with his wife and sometimes even Carlo with his, but that was because Linda and Nigel had their own interests and hobbies that could only be done separately, and that took up most of their time. Things were going well. They were nice to each other, and Nigel hadn't been exiled to the couch for years. That was enough, wasn't it?
Well, maybe Perry didn't know anything about romance, no matter how many telenovelas he watched. When he was called into the kitchen that day, he knew instantly that something was wrong. Linda was sitting quietly in a corner of the table, her eyes slightly red, and Nigel was fidgeting restlessly in his chair.
"There you were, Perry," Nigel said in a strange voice. "We called you here to tell you... Well, your mother and I decided you were old enough to know..."
Perry began to panic. "Did something happen? Why are you two acting like someone died? Grandma Betty Jo and Grandpa Clyde okay?"
"No, no, they're okay," said Nigel quickly.
“Did something happen to Aunt Tiana? She was going to explore that Aztec temple!”
“No, you know no Aztec temple is a match for your aunt,” Nigel chuckled. He didn’t squirm in his chair anymore, and he seemed noticeably more relaxed now that he knew that whatever news he was going to give Perry at least couldn’t be the worst thing that could have happened.
Perry took a seat, breathing more evenly now and wondering what this could be about.
"Okay, so, um..." Nigel looked to Linda for help, but from the looks of things, he was on his own. He cleared his throat a little and continued, "You know how sometimes adults, well, they have to make tough decisions sometimes, to do what's best for the people around them."
Perry nodded as if he understood a little too well.
"Well, your mother and I decided that maybe it would be best for us to go our separate ways."
"What?" Perry whispered.
"I'm not sure how to explain this, it's just..."
"You guys want a divorce?" Perry said louder.
Nigel blinked until he seemed to recall some of his eleven-year-old son’s less-than-usual tastes in television.
“I know you’ll understand… Your mother and I don’t make each other happy like we used to. You deserve to know the truth.”
“But why now? We all got along so well.”
“Oh, of course, it’s not that we don’t get along,” Nigel said, but he avoided Linda’s gaze and fiddled awkwardly with his hands. “We just realized we want different things, that we aren’t built for the same kind of thing.”
Perry waited. He had the feeling there was more they hadn't told him, but all the while Linda made no sound and kept her eyes on the window, and now Nigel looked pale, as if he were about to faint if Perry pressed him too hard.
He sighed in resignation. “What am I going to tell Candace?”
“Oh, honey, you don’t have to tell her anything,” Linda said suddenly. “We’ll see what we'll do, but you don’t have to worry about it.”
“Wait, does that mean you’re going to live in different houses now? Where are Candace and I going to live?”
“Well, we haven’t worked out all the details yet, but you don’t have to choose, I mean, you can live wherever you want, or you can go back and forth,” Nigel said.
“We don’t want to force you to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” Linda added. “I know this is hard to see right now, but we only want what’s best for you.”
Perry looked at them and wondered if they’d left Candace out of the conversation on purpose.
The whole process took a little over a month. The atmosphere was tense, but Nigel and Linda did their best not to make things awkward for him and Candace. Perry had to give them some credit. They were pretty good, like they had taken acting lessons from Major Monogram. There were a few things that needed to be straightened out. Just sorting out their shared sock drawer took a whole day. Then Nigel had to leave Abby in charge of Sun Zone, and that took a lot of convincing.
When the day finally came, everything seemed pretty usual. Nigel packed his bags into his car as if he were going on an extended weekend camping trip. The neighbors were unsuspecting as they picked up their mail or unloaded their groceries from their cars. Only Perry came to say goodbye.
“So you’re sure you don’t want to come with me?” Nigel asked as he strapped his skis and favorite canoe to the roof of the car. “It doesn’t have to be permanent, of course, just a little vacation, just the two of us.”
“What about Candace?”
Nigel gritted his teeth and scratched the back of his head. “Well… you know how she gets on long trips. She gets carsick.”
Well, he wasn’t wrong. Perry sat in the back seat with her, so he knew better than Nigel, but still, motion sickness pills were a thing.
Nigel must have seen the wheels in his head turning because he said, “Besides, I think she’d rather stay with your mom.”
Perry wasn’t sure about that. No one had asked Candace who she wanted to live with; she didn’t even know anything about it.
"But where are you going?"
"Well, I think I'll go see your grandparents first. A visit is in order. I haven't seen them in what feels like forever."
Grandpa and Grandma Farwell had been living in Norway for years. Perry and Candace had never seen them in person, but they had spoken to them on the phone. And they had sent them lots of letters and packages of traditional handmade sweaters and Norwegian desserts like Krumkake and Skolebrød. Perry liked them. They were fun to talk to, even if they were a little absent-minded sometimes, and sometimes forgot their birthdays and didn’t send gifts until months later.
“And after that, I don’t know. I’ve always wanted to see the world like your Aunt Tiana,” Nigel continued. “Oh, maybe I can design a new theme park in a cool new place like the Amazon rainforest! And I’ve always wanted to try my hand at making my own comics.”
“Dad, I don’t think that would do the Amazon rainforest much good.”
“Oh, yeah, you’re probably right.” Nigel struggled to close the trunk over his many suitcases and toolboxes, then rubbed his hands and turned to Perry. “See, that’s exactly why I could use your input. If you come, we’d have a great time together, we could see the world and build new things every day!”
“That sounds fun, but…” Perry looked back at the house. “I think Mom and Candace need me more.”
“Oh,” Nigel said. “No, no, you’re right, of course.” He looked up at the sky, then smiled at Perry and put his hand on his shoulder. “I know you’ll take great care of them.”
Perry nodded seriously.
“You know, you’re taking this a lot better than I expected,” Nigel observed.
“Well, it’s like when Demetrio De la Cruz left Alicia and their three daughters.”
Nigel sighed but kept smiling. “He’s not the good guy, is he?”
Perry shook his head sadly. “The other guy shoots him in the head in episode 718.”
“Okay, I’m starting to think maybe those shows aren’t really appropriate for your age.”
"Before you go, you should take this."
"Oh, wow, is this a bulletproof helmet? It looks so realistic. Where did you get it?"
"Um, cereal box?"
"Huh, lucky pick."
"It has a switch on the back that activates a force field that protects the face."
"Very lucky."
Perry went to hug him. He was stronger now, almost knocking Nigel to the ground, and Nigel didn’t have to crouch anymore, just bend over a little.
“I’m going to miss you,” Perry whispered as if sharing a secret.
“Oh, me too, buddy. But this doesn’t have to be forever.” Nigel let go, put on his bulletproof helmet, and tapped it with his finger. “I’ll just hold on to this until I get back, okay?”
Perry smiled. And he stood there waving as the car drove out of the driveway with Nigel waving to him from the window. It was a beautiful day. The first signs of spring were showing.
Perry felt something in his eyes. He could have blamed the exhaust fumes, but there was no one around to lie to.
Maybe he should have seen this coming. The signs were all there. It was actually surprising that they had lasted this long together, but he had actually thought for a while that things were going well.
***
Perry went to pick up Candace from preschool that day. The other parents and teachers thought it was cute, just a little boy coming to pick up his baby sister, but Candace was confused.
"Perry? Where's Daddy? Did he forget me again?"
Nigel had forgotten to pick Candace up from school twice, and she had only just started that year. Candace hadn't minded much because it meant she had all the toys to herself for a while, plus, of course, the new toy Nigel had to buy her as an apology gift. She seemed almost disappointed to see Perry without any shiny new toy to distract her with.
“He has to work late today. A new secret project.”
“Oh. Oh, okay.”
Because he was helping her put on her shoes, Perry couldn’t see Candace’s face well enough to tell if she was upset or not. She even insisted on putting on her jacket herself like a “big girl”.
"How about we go to the park?"
Candace brightened up at that. The only park Nigel would take her to after school was the amusement park.
As they walked down the alley among the newly budding trees, Candace made sure to tell him everything that had happened that day, about how little Bradley Baxter had tried to steal a classmate's muffin at lunch and Candace reported him to the teacher who made him sit in the corner, and how Aubrey Hills had told everyone that she was going to marry the prince charming from the fairy tale they had read in story time, all that juicy preschool gossip...
Perry liked her stories, especially since he had never been to preschool, so now he could find out what he had missed without the real risk of someone sticking glue in his hair or leaving play-dough in his shoes.
“Perry, look, look, the ducks!” Candace pulled him toward the lake. “Aww, they’re so cute!”
“You think they’re cute now? Just wait until the ducklings hatch. It shouldn’t be long now.”
“Oh! Can we come see them then?”
“Sure. I don’t see why not.”
“I can’t wait to tell Daddy! He’s going to want to come here all the time.”
“Um, hey, do you want some ice cream? I think it’s just warm enough for that, and I have some pocket money left.”
“Okay. Just don’t make it banana-flavored, yuck!” Candace stuck her tongue out.
Perry chuckled. “Noted.”
When they got home, they discovered that someone had beaten them to it. The door opened before Perry could get his hands on the doorknob, and there stood Grandpa Clyde.
“Oh, here you two were. You got here just in time. Hey, not fair, you had ice cream, and you didn’t save me any.”
“Grandpa!” Candace jumped right into his arms. “How did you know we had ice cream?” she asked, cookie dough ice cream on her nose and all.
“A little birdie told me.”
“Really? Was it a duck?”
“How did you guess?” Grandpa Clyde asked, looking shocked.
Candace laughed.
“Well, this is a surprise,” Perry said, closing the door behind him. “Not that I’m not glad to see you, but what are you two doing here?”
“What?” asked Betty Jo, who was building a Jenga tower on the coffee table. “Do I need a reason to visit my favorite grandkids?”
Perry hugged her. “We’re your only grandkids, Grandma.”
Grandma Betty Jo smiled as if she knew something Perry didn’t.
Linda was in the same spot he had left her, still in her dressing gown with her hair all messy, but she looked a little better now.
“So, how did it go?”
“Great,” Perry said. “Candace was cooperative and even put her jacket on herself.”
“Like a big girl!” Candace confirmed, sitting on Linda’s knee.
Linda chuckled and kissed her forehead, then brushed Perry’s hair out of his face.
“Now, kids, go get ready. We’ve got plans tonight,” Betty Jo said.
“But it’s a school night,” Perry said, and Candace nodded along.
“Oh, you guys are no fun. Since when did my grandkids become such sticklers for rules? Is that how I raised you?”
Perry and Candace both shook their heads.
“Then chop chop! Be at the door in ten minutes, or I’ll leave without you.”
They both knew Betty Jo was just kidding, but they still dashed out of the kitchen like their lives depended on it, because when Betty Jo was set on something, there was no room for second-guessing.
Betty Jo took them to the skating rink that afternoon. Perry was pretty good, but Betty Jo was on a whole other level. It was impossible to keep up with her, but she slowed down for Candace, who had never skated before and was a little anxious. She had fun in the end, though, with Betty Jo gently spinning her around and Perry always nearby to catch her if she lost her balance. Then Betty Jo bought them pizza and smoothies so they wouldn't have to worry about dinner at home.
Luckily, Candace had fallen asleep in the taxi, so she didn't have to wonder why Nigel hadn't come home yet, even though it was well past Sun Zone's closing time. As Betty Jo carried Candace upstairs to bed, Perry found Linda and Grandpa Clyde sitting in the kitchen with two hot bowls of Grandpa Clyde's famous chicken noodle soup. Perry was surprised to hear them laughing. It seemed like they were reliving memories of Linda and Aunt Tiana's childhood. Perry smiled from the doorway and went to bed, safe in the knowledge that his family was in good hands that night.
Betty Jo and Grandpa Clyde stayed with them for the rest of the week. It was hard to miss Nigel when their house was always full. Many of their neighbors and Linda’s friends had come to comfort her. Perry had heard them call Nigel many words he didn’t know, and some he did know, of which one stood out the most—coward. Perry didn’t think of his father as a coward. Sure, he had left them behind, but he had done so because it was best for them.
“Best for you?” Mrs. Garcia Shapiro huffed, chatting with Linda on the couch one day. “Try what’s best for him!” And then she launched into a long, emphatic rant in Spanish, speaking far too fast for Perry to make anything out.
But around Candace, no one ever mentioned Nigel. They all agreed to tell her that Nigel had gone on one of his trips looking for inspiration for new rides for Sun Zone, which was believable enough.
After the first three nights, however, Candace decided it was time for Nigel to come home. So she took her Momo plushy and sat patiently by the front door so she could be the first to greet him. At least she was content to do so on the inside of the house, under the key rack, because the nights were still quite chilly.
Perry had never seen her sit still for so long, and as he watched, a memory he had thought long forgotten flashed through his mind. He was convinced that if their oak tree had been a little bigger, Candace would have taken Momo and climbed up to wait for Nigel there. That was strange because Perry knew that Nigel wouldn't come back even if he technically still could. It made him wonder if having a father who would have come back if he could but couldn't anymore was better or worse. Perry shook his head abruptly. Of course, it was a good thing Nigel was still alive; it would have been selfish to think otherwise, but that didn't change the fact that Perry had already lost two fathers in his short life.
“Hey, got room for two more?” he asked, holding his old stuffed platypus in front of him.
Candace turned to him and grinned.
So they both sat there, waiting in silence. After a while, Perry suggested they build a pillow fort, and Candace happily obliged.
Linda looked at them with tears in her eyes, and neither she nor their grandparents dared even suggest that they move, even though they were blocking the way out.
A few weeks later, Nigel sent them a postcard of the Northern Lights from the snowy mountains of Sweden and a box full of traditional wooden Dala horses. Candace had been overjoyed, thinking that these were all ideas that would be turned into a new ride for the amusement park, such as a grand carousel with lots of twinkling lights.
As the months passed, Nigel continued to send them letters and souvenirs from the places he visited, each time mentioning that he missed them and wished they had been there too. Candace had been especially delighted with the Matryoshka Ducky Momo doll and the Momo Mochi. But after a while, none of these substitutes were enough; Candace only wanted her father back. She thought that if she refused to talk to him on the phone, Nigel would miss her and come home. When that didn't work, Candace became upset and refused to open any more of his packages, even the gift Nigel had sent for her fifth birthday. Candace couldn't believe that Nigel had missed her birthday and refused to leave her room that day.
Perry, however, kept every single letter and gift that Nigel sent him safely. As the years went by, the letters from Perry's uncle Kane and Megan's letters came less and less until they stopped altogether. Perry knew that it was only a matter of time until Nigel's letters would also stop one day, so he wanted something to look back on.
For a long time, Perry didn't know what had made Nigel leave so suddenly, until one day...
"Come on, kids, meet your new baby brother."
Perry and Candace timidly opened the door, and there was Linda in a hospital room, just like before, with a new bundle in her arms.
Candace climbed into bed curiously and took a closer look at this supposed new brother. Her nose immediately wrinkled.
"Why does he look so ugly?"
"All new babies look ugly," Perry said wisely. "You did too when I first saw you."
"Mom, Perry is being mean to me."
Linda chuckled. “So, have you thought of a name?”
Perry and Candace shared a look. Perry looked at his shoes, cleared his throat a little, and said, “Well, we’ve been thinking—if you’re okay with it that is...”
“I know Daddy gave me my name,” Candace said. “To match Perry’s.”
“Pericles and Candace were both important political figures with Greek roots.”
“So we want to call him Phineas.”
“From the Greek Phineus. He was a king in Thrace and a seer who guided the Argonauts on their sea voyage.”
Candace clapped her hands excitedly. “That means he could see the future, like a superhero!”
“Wow, you guys really did your research,” Linda said, impressed.
“So you’re not upset?” Candace asked.
“Of course not,” Linda said, pulling her closer. “How could I be upset? I think it’s perfect.”
Perry sat on Linda’s other side. “We wanted him to match us, so he’d always know he's got a family.”
"Yeah! Welcome to the family, Phineas Flynn! Flynn, not Farwell," said Candace, who had long since decided that Flynn was a much better last name, and had declared in a very formal manner at school that she was to be addressed as Candace Flynn from then on.
Perry had to agree that Phineas Flynn rolled much better off the tongue. Phineas had even brighter red hair than Candace's and a face full of freckles. He had a rather large, pointed nose and even larger eyes, sapphire blue and very alert for a newborn. Most babies cried when they took their first breath, but Linda told them that Phineas had come into the world laughing. And that was exactly what he was doing at the moment. He was laughing and kicking his little feet as he looked up at them.
"Okay, he's not that ugly," Candace said. "He's kind of cute."
Perry smiled. Phineas' laugh was quite contagious and he already knew he loved him. They were a family of four again.