Chapter Text
Red Peony, I am in need of some advice.
The summer sun dried up my White Jade bushes and moonflowers. Any idea where to find more?
No that’s dumb.
Where do white jade bushes and moonflowers normally grow in the Fire Nation?
Too obvious.
Are they alive?
Zuko stared at the paper for a long moment as the question drummed around his brain. Frustrated, he balled up the letter and threw it across the room. It’s been two weeks since the fall of Ba Sing Se. They have not heard from the Flower Spies since. Haven’t heard from anyone except the Southern Water Tribe Navy.
What was left of them, anyway.
Zuko sighed deeply. If he would have chosen the right path sooner, then they probably wouldn’t be in this mess. Ba Sing Se would still remain free, Aang awake, Mother and Uncle… here. Zuko pulled out another piece of paper.
Destiny is a funny thing. I thought my destiny was one thing, but my heart said it was another. In the end, the heart is always right, no matter how much it hurts. I hope to hear from you by the time the white spring flowers bloom.
Sincerely, Firelily
Zuko curled up the letter then tied it in place. It would do for now. He glared at the lit candle. The flames flickered slightly but reminded in place. Zuko grunted before blowing it out, bathing the small room in darkness.
Above deck was a stark difference. Water Tribe soldiers rushed to and forth, manning the large stolen warship and being on constant watch for any approaching Fire Nation ships. They’ve had a couple of close calls, but at this rate they might just make it to one of the main islands without getting caught.
Zuko’s expression hardened as he felt all eyes land on him. Most subtle; some not as much. Even after denying the Firelord, opening defecting, and helping them secure a war vessel, Zuko was still just another ash-maker. Not that he blamed them for doubting him. He did attack their home.
“Zuko! Just the guy I was looking for!” Sokka clasped his shoulder.
“Hey, did we change courses again? I was just going to command deck to send the messenger falcon-hawk. We can review the maps there.”
“No it’s not that.” Sokka said while leading him to a spot on deck he and Toph claimed for themselves.
“Keep your voices down would ya?” Toph complained while leaning against the railing.
“No progress yet?” Zuko asked, noting the sweat pooling up and green tinge on the girl’s face.
“What do you think? Sweetness barely looked at me.” Toph covered her mouth then leaned over the railing to empty her stomach again.
Zuko promised to make her some herbal tea as soon as they reached land. Toph gave him a weak thumbs up as Sokka rubbed her back.
“Speaking of which, just got word that Aang woke up.”
Zuko’s heart skipped a beat. “What?!”
“It was brief. He was really confused then fell back asleep.”
“I need to see him.”
“Whoa there hothead.” Sokka grabbed his arm. “And how exactly do you plan on getting passed his self-appointed body guard?”
Zuko glanced at the rations being passed around.
“Well she’s gotta eat sometime.”
“Already tried that. Twice.”
“Third time’s a charm.” He said while heading downstairs.
“Zuko!” Sokka sighed. "He'll figure it out."
~*~
Katara ran her hands along Aang’s chi lines once more. Everything was so weak and faint. The euphoria of his waking didn't last long when he fell back asleep soon after. Katara didn't have the heart to shake Aang awake again. He was so still and small, much like when she first found him in the iceberg. Katara swallowed down the bittersweet memories then continued healing.
There was a knock at the door.
“Busy!”
“Katara.” Zuko cracked the door open. “I brought your rations.”
“Leave it there.” She jerked her head to a desk full of uneaten food.
Zuko frowned and shut the door behind him.
“You need to eat.”
“What I need is silence!” she snapped.
Katara closed her eyes and did shakily did another pass. She couldn't leave her hands in one place too long like Jin said. Katara gasped and dropped the water when Aang moaned softly. Zuko was by her side in seconds, also waiting for the airbender to reawaken. His eyes twitched before settling down. Katara hissed and drew more water.
“Katara, you need to eat.” Zuko repeated. "And rest. You've been at it for days straight."
“I’m fine.”
She hissed when she dropped the water again. Zuko wordlessly offered the bread. Too tired to protest further, Katara snatched it and finished in seconds. Her stomach growled; begging for more. Zuko gave her his cut as well.
“Any word yet?” She asked while chewing slower this time.
“Just finished the letter.”
“They’ll make it.” Katara looked at Aang. “They all will.”
Zuko remained silent. He wished he had Katara’s optimism. He really did.
“I’ll take first watch.”
Katara nodded as she felt her body grow heavy. She suddenly shot up. “Nice try. But I need to check on Toph.”
She glanced at Aang again.
“Go. I’ll watch him.”
Katara gave a curt nod then marched to the door. She paused with her hand on the knob.
“Thanks Zuko.”
With that, Katara quietly took her leave. Zuko swallowed; his eyes landing on a comatose Aang.
"Don't thank me yet."
~*~
She quickly found her friend and brother huddled near the bow of the ship. Toph had fallen asleep with her head on Sokka’s leg as he reviewed a scroll. His brows shot straight up when he saw her.
“Katara!”
She knelt down and uncorked her water skin. “How is she?”
“How is she? How are you?!” Sokka gasped at his sister’s dark eye bags and weary expression. “When did you last sleep?!”
“Sokka please. Not now.”
Katara hovered her hands over a sleeping Toph. There was no virus. All she could do was ease the symptoms. Toph’s face softened as her body relaxed.
“That should hold her until we reach solid land.”
“Good.” He patted his other leg. “You’re turn to rest.”
“Sokka-“
“10 minutes.”
Katara wanted to protest. But she really was tired. Exhausted even.
She serious considered taking up his offer when someone called her name. Katara rose to her feet and turned to leave but wasn’t fast enough. Instead, she came face to face with her father.
“There you are.” Hakoda started for a hug but opted for a Water Tribe hand greeting. “I haven’t seen you all week.”
Katara bristled as she flashed back to their first reunion just a week ago. How her father hesitated before wrapping his large arms around her in a polar bear-dog hug. Katara thought she'd feel joy after not seeing him for years and years. But instead, she only felt bitterness and anger. A feeling that had not seem to go away since. Katara knew why. She lived over half of her life without a father. He couldn’t just show back up and expect everything to go back as before. Things will never be the same.
Ever.
She begrudgingly accepted his hand; knowing would be disrespectful not to. Despite everything, Katara did not want to do that to her own father.
So tiny and delicate.
A more suitable punishment is required.
A sharp gasp escaped her mouth. Katara yanked her hands away and tucked them under her armpits. Hakoda gaped at her alarmed.
“Katara-“
“I’m fine.” She spat.
Hakoda knelt down, purposely making himself smaller than her. His eyes were glassy and full of sorrow.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Snow Blossom.” He whispered earnestly. Heartbreakingly. “I promise.”
Katara backed up; head spinning and heart pounding. Everyone was staring. The world started to blur.
“I-I need to check on Aang.”
Before Hakoda could respond, she ran downstairs as fast as her legs could carry her while tears spilled out. She could vaguely make out Sokka trying to comfort their father and concerned mummering. Katara ducked into Aang’s room and slammed the door close with more force than she meant. Zuko shot to his feet.
“What’s wrong?!”
“I'm fine. I-I just need a minute.”
“Are you sure? I can-“
“Zuko, please...”
He swallowed hard. What would Uncle do? Deep down, he already knew. Iroh always gave Zuko space whenever he asked or implied, the latter being most common. Zuko took a deep breath. “Alright.” He said, despite wanting to stay and comfort her badly. “I’ll be right here if you need me.”
Katara nodded; not meeting his eyes. As soon as Zuko left, she slid to the ground while her breath became shallow. The world dipped and tilted violently while the sick scent of burnt flesh filled her nose.
What was wrong with her?! It was Dad not La drown Ozai! She didn’t behave that way with Bato. So why…
Katara flashed back to the dark damp prison cell in Ba Sing Se where Ozai slinked back into her life and waking nightmares. Everything came crashing back after years of repression. And now, she can’t even look her own father in the eyes.
She glanced at Aang’s unconscious form barely clinging to life. The hope for the world on death’s door, thanks to the Firelord. Even if Katara pulled off the impossible and healed him, how could the young airbender face that monster?
Katara buried her head against her knees and cried until she had no more tears.