Chapter Text
ARCHANGEL FAMILY UNIT
not a demon (retired)
@everyone
ok my turn to call updates
still an angel
Why, what’s wrong?
I’m not feeling anything yet.
not a demon (retired)
smthns going down on earth
@still a cherub uriel
updates now
still a cherub
Something feels off.
This isn’t just some Earth phenomenon, is it?
not a demon (retired)
no
aziraphale said the same thing
@still the devil u
luci
is muriel ok?
not an angel (retired)
not u aksing if murel is ok and not satna himself
tihs is beelzbub btw
not a demon (retired)
shut up beelzebub
but u and gabe?
nuthin up there in alpha centauri?
not an angel (retired)
…wait
no. smthn also feels off here
still an angel
Okay, NOW I feel it.
What’s going on on Earth?
not a demon (retired)
i dunno thats y im asking
still the devil
can confirm
none of my department’s doing
muriels doing fine
im also ok thanks fo asking asshole
not a demon (retired)
ok rude
He was just about to type another message when his phone rang. He stares at the receiver in disbelief, shouting amongst the racket, “Why the fuck is Lilith calling?!” He, nevertheless, picks up the call, smushing it in between his ear and shoulder all while driving away on the Bentley. “What is it?!” He cried.
“I usually don’t do things like these at all, ” Lilith’s voice sounded grave, “but it’s for the best interest of my patient. I need you here to help me deliver Sarah’s baby.”
He couldn’t help but shout back, “Excuse me?!”
“This is highly unprofessional I know,” Distantly on the phone, he hears a woman scream simultaneously clashing with the sound of thunder, “but I have a gut feeling I need your expertise.” At the sound of that dreaded word, ‘expertise’, Crowley just knew what she meant.
She needed him. His type of blessing. His former job. ‘Doctors always need Healers.’
He stills just as Lilith continues explaining, “It doesn’t help that there’s an earthquake happening!” Despite everything, Crowley snorts dryly. “What expertise?! Between us, I’m not an actual obstetrician!”
Cheekily, it’s Aziraphale who gives a little sweet grin. “Bildad says otherwise.” Giving a wide stare, Crowley flusters a bit, “Angel, shush!”
“There is no room for debate.” Lilith ordered and fuck if he didn’t hate what she was currently doing. Voice calm and steady, she verbally sunk her teeth into Crowley. “I need you here. Now.”
There it was, that weird hypnotic lull. If Satan had the ability to rain Hell on demons, Lilith had the ability to make sure the demons would bring Hell if she so willed.
Fucking Mother of Demons and that weird control thing over the rest of them.
She leaves the call open without a moment’s notice, even if it wasn’t pressed up against her ear; Lilith was that confident that Crowley would come. Ever annoyed, he could only grumble before letting out a growl. “Ngrh! FINE! Angel, come on, looks like we’re delivering a baby.”
“We?!” Aziraphale echoed, delighted but also very concerned as Crowley took a sharp turn. With Lilith leaving the phone on, that meant Crowley had a way to track them to where Adam’s residence was. No less than two minutes later, they were already there, running to the Young’s house despite the storm. Crowley knocked on the door with such ferocity, he could’ve punched the door down with his strength. Instead, the door opens to Mr Young standing there, trying to identify the familiar face.
“Hey, aren’t you that doctor from the old Saint Beryl place?” He said as Crowley impatiently tapped his foot on the front porch. “I was, this is my assist, Mr Fell. Where’s the mother?”
The ground shakes once more, leading Mr Young to almost bowl over from the force.
From inside of the house, Adam spots them. He immediately jumps to his feet and points to the guest bedroom. “With Lilith, in here!” He says, opening the door. Since it counted as permission, Crowley was free to enter with Aziraphale trailing after him. Dog barks in greeting before settling back down on the carpet, no doubt taking shelter inside from the storm.
“Lilith?” Mr Young wondered. Everyone else ignored him.
Hearing the sound of a woman screaming definitely made the search easier and before Aziraphale could knock, Lilith was already there, opening the door. “Good, you came.” She says, panting. “Give me a moment to cover her up before you enter.”
Few seconds later, she opens the door as Sarah, the one they could guess is Adam’s sister, begins to shout once more in pain. Lilith introduces the pair, “This is uh, Dr Crowley, he will be helping me with the procedure! Along with his fellow over there, Dr Fell!”
Crowley pulls Lilith to the side. “What did you call me here?!” He hissed but Lilith has faced far worse things than this kind of annoyance. She steadily replies, “The painkillers I gave burned off immediately, for some reason. They did not work. I’ve tried everything.” Crowley blinks in surprise; if she, the one who has actually went to med school was unable to find a cure, then the lady giving birth is most definitely fucked.
This is where Lilith looks away and straight onto Sarah’s sweaty face. “I need your help calming down Sarah. She’s going to be in a lot of pain.” Aziraphale, angel as he is, rushes to Sarah’s bedside. He offers his hand, to which Sarah shakily takes. He then asks Lilith, “Where’s the father?!” Usually fathers are the ones doing this kind of job, supporting his wife in times of labor!
“A-abe’s busy with work—” Sarah meagerly replies as another scream was torn out of her throat. “RAAAHHHHHH!” While screaming she had a vice grip on Aziraphale’s hand clamping so hard, the angel couldn’t help but let out his own little yelp. “OOOOOH strong, grip, strong grip!”
Crowley and Lilith immediately got to work, the redhead demon moving onto the other side of Sarah. Lilith discreetly miracled on some sterile gloves, lifted the privacy blanket a bit just so she can see and feel the progress. “Okay Sarah dear,” Lilith said over the racket of a storm outside, “you’re dilating really quickly. I can feel the top of the baby’s head, we’re gonna have to start pushing for a bit more, okay?”
“I can’t,” Sarah blabbered, “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t…”
Under his breath, Aziraphale commented, “This is the worst time to have a baby.” Both Lilith and Crowley heard it however, the doctor gently informing the angel: “Comments like that aren’t helpful, Aziraphale. The baby’s gonna come when the baby’s gonna come.” She adjusts Sarah’s legs the slightest way before giving Sarah the ‘go’. “Okay, Sarah, you’re crowning, time to push!”
The human screams so loud, it doesn’t compare to the flashes of lightning from above. Throughout the process, the ground begins to pulse in ferocity. Lilith stomps on the ground twice, clicking her tongue in annoyance before it finally stills enough for a moment.
Sarah, however, does not stop whimpering and crying in pain. Crowley tries to remember what he did back then for Beelzebub, the same green energy he summoned with his fingertips began to reappear until he finally swipes it downward from Sarah’s sweaty forehead to her belly.
Her screaming started to fade as she began taking even breaths, almost looking akin to falling asleep. “Feels woozy…” Said Sarah, a tad bit delirious but at least no longer screaming. Seeing how she’s acting, Lilith began to call her attention once more. They cannot lose her in this crucial moment. “Sarah, I need you to push again, okay? I see the baby’s head. One, two, three!”
She pushes, or at least, Crowley thinks she does. With how hard she’s gripping, she sure better be pushing with all the force she can! “W-where’s Abe?” The woman sobs, “I-I can’t do this without him. No, no, no!”
And well, that kind of talk never sat right with Crowley. He growls at the woman, “Hey, look at me!” Sarah does, despite her pain.
Crowley had to admit, some of Her creations were tough as nails.
He told her, “You’re gonna deliver this baby, you’re gonna bring it to this stupid human world and you’re gonna come out of it on the other side. I can at least guarantee you that.”
“I-it would take a m-miracle for that, this was a high r-risk pregnancy.” Sarah admitted, her state fragile as she softly weeps. “I just want to hold my baby.”
Lilith’s hold on Sarah’s knee hesitates the tiniest bit.
“Sarah, is it?” Aziraphale asked, “I promise, you’re gonna be fine. You have all the miracles you need. Isn’t that right, Crowley?”
Aziraphale turns to Crowley, awaiting his response, offering his own hand for Crowley to take. And just like every time before this moment, Crowley meets him halfway. “...right.” He confirms, holding onto Aziraphale’s hand as Lilith pipes back up to check with Sarah. “On my count, ready?”
“On her count.” Aziraphale tells Crowley, secretly conveying a message that no one else could parse through but them. Crowley could simply nod.
Crowley’s tongue began to burn as he began to quietly ask a favor. ‘Hey, God, you probably hate me but can you do us a solid?’
Lilith checks her wristwatch before telling Sarah, “One, two, three…push!” And with that signal, both Aziraphale and Crowley performed a shared mini-miracle, enough to guarantee that Sarah and her baby survived.
They don’t really know how long everything truly took. It could’ve been hours or minutes. It didn’t help that the world seemed like it was raging a war with itself. It felt like time and time again, Lilith had to be the one to remind Sarah to push as both Crowley and Aziraphale had to watch as Sarah cried from the pain.
“Last one, Sarah! You can do this, sweetling, we need one last more!” Lilith said, already prepared to catch the baby.
And with all the remaining strength she had, Sarah gave one last big push before the room was filled with the cries of the tiniest, mightiest cry.
The world ceased its movement. It stopped to take a breath just as the baby had taken his first.
There in Lilith’s arm, was a bloody, screaming baby. “Congratulations, Sarah!” Lilith exclaimed, “It’s a healthy baby boy!”