Chapter Text
Keytar: This date is boring!
Snowball: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.
Keytar: Then why did you invite me?
Snowball: I didn't, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Snowball I'll do whatever I want!"
Snowball: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Keytar!
Keytar: You can't expect me to look in your eyes and be straight.
Keytar: I love hearing Snowball shout at someone else. It makes such a nice change.
Snowball: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.
Keytar: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.
Snowball: But you’re always acting stupid?
Keytar: ...
Keytar: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.
Keytar: Snowball is playing hard to get. Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.
Keytar: Snowball, I... I love you!
Snowball: Not my problem.
Keytar: Might I make a suggestion you possibly won’t like?
Snowball: Do you make any other kind?
Keytar: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!
Snowball: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way?
Keytar: I don't know, surprise me!
Snowball: Keytar, you’ve tried 37 times and you’ve failed every time. Give it a break.
Keytar: DO I HEAR “FIRST TRY PART 38?”
Snowball: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.
Keytar: And?
Snowball: And you are.
Keytar: I want to kiss you.
Snowball, not paying attention: What?
Keytar: I said if you die I won't miss you.
Keytar: Will you date me? Breathe if yes, recite the Bible in Japanese if no.
Snowball: 初めに、神は天と地を創造されました。
Keytar: What the…?
Snowball: 地球は形もなく虚無であり、暗闇が深海の面を覆いました…
Keytar: Is that actually the Bible?!
Snowball: …そして神の霊が水面の上に浮かんでいました。
Keytar: And you stopped breathing, too?!
Snowball: そして神は「光あれ」と言われました。
Keytar: I would've preferred you just beat me up and called me gay!
Keytar: Your smile looks forced.
Snowball: That’s because it is.
Snowball: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?
Keytar: It was autocorrect.
Snowball: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me"?
Keytar: Yes.
Keytar: Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse! That’s what I always say!
Snowball: You should say something else.
Keytar: I think I'm falling for you.
Snowball: Then get up.
Keytar: Do you want to play 20 Questions?
Snowball: Sure. What's your favorite color?
Keytar, laser fucking focused: Triangle. Do you like men?
Keytar: Tell me I'm pretty!
Snowball: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.
Snowball: Everyone knows that Santa is an invention designed by the big five corporations to sell tinsel and video games to an unsuspecting public.
Keytar: The whole “childhood wonder” stage just blew right past you, didn’t it?