Chapter Text
Hanahaki disease wasn’t an uncommon thing. Most people had it. The only one’s spared were people who unequally fell in love at the same time. That was rare. Hanaki disease didn’t sound as lethal and dangerous as it actually was.
Ever since the disease was studied and the meaning was confirmed by scientists. That it was a love mark. People that grew in love so in love they began to cough up their crushes' favorite flowers. It sounded scary to suddenly begin choking and having flowers come out of your throat.
And you were right. It’s probably more scary than actually deadly. Well yes it is. One out of ten percent of people in the world died from this disease. It was studied and studied for decades but no one could come up with a ‘proper’ or medical way of subduing the disease. The only way to stop the flowers and stop coughing them up was for the other person to fall in love with you as well.
Despite this being common knowledge Clay knew nothing of the disease. It wasn’t very common in Liberia. Most people were married and together or they were small children. And Clay had lived there the most of his life. All the way up until his grandparents passed.
As soon as he was back in the United States he enlisted.
Now it wasn’t because he wanted to follow Ash's footsteps or some reason like that. No as a kid he despised the military; some part of him believed it was the reason Ash left him. Even if he knew that wasn’t true. If Ash wanted to be a parent he would have.
No it wasn’t until he was on his way back to the united states he met a retired soldier on the plane. He was around his mid forties and his hair was going gray. Name john. He told him all about the military and he told him about the branches. But how he was in the Navy. Said that was the best choice he ever made in his life. Except for his wife that is.
He made it seem so good he decided to join. He didn’t have any option in life either. It would provide him a place to live, a way to get money and the way John made it sound he would meet good people there. He wasn’t so sure about the team as a family thing yet. But he would give it a try.
Clay went through the training and he knew that the Navy was for him. But he wanted to become a seal now. He knew that’s what Ash was. And he knew what everyone thought of him. Hell everyone made it clear to him. But he wanted to become a better man and soldier than him. He wanted to prove himself.
Now that he was in green team training. He was waiting for Bravo to pick him. There wasn’t any way they wouldn’t. He was in the top of his class. The best shooter and the fastest runner. But they still seemed stiff about picking him. Or Bravo one specifically. He had some problems with him. Probably because of Ash.
No one wanted to talk to him because of Ash. It was a little maddening. He just wanted to scream that he wasn’t like him. He didn’t even know the man. The one person that would talk to him was Brian. And he ended up dying. His only friend in the whole place.
Despite all this he passed green team and sre training and Bravo picked him.
The first day he began coughing up flowers was a month after he became officially part of Bravo. When he became Bravo six. He was still getting used to his teammates. They all goton along for the most part. But he still felt new amongst them. Like there was a wall up between them that he couldn’t break.
It wasn’t that he didn’t know his team members. No, he had come to know them over time. He knew how Bravo one ‘Jason’ could be a little over protective of people close to him. In fact the whole team was. It was endearing to see and to feel considering the life he had as a child.
He knew how Bravo two ‘Ray’ worked his ass off to get where he was. How he didn't slack off and by that. He preferred rules. He was Jason's right hand man for a reason. He kept Jason in check and the others did the same for him. Ray was a leader.
He knew how Bravo three ‘Sonny’ acted impulsive and hard. But he probably had the sweetest heart on the team. He cared for everyone, the people on his team. There were friends that were on base and there civilian friends. Sonny was the most caring person he ever meant.
He knew how Bravo four ‘Trent’ Cared about everyone and their medical condition. Once he kept a symptom away from the man. And he went off giving him a lecture on how he shouldn’t keep anything from medical. To him… Then Jason and Ray continued to lecture him for his stupidity.
He knew how Bravo Six ‘Brock’ Has a big family and money was tight as a kid. It was part of why he wanted to enlist in the military. He wanted to be able to provide support for his family. Even if that meant putting his life on the line.
It was honestly daunting to learn and know so much in such a short amount of time. It was different than he was used to. The first real friend he ever had or made was when he was in his twenties. Brian Armstrong and even he ended up dying. Right after he meant him and before he could pass the green team.
The first time Clay coughed up flowers. He wasn’t home but on a mission. A mission to get some equipment before the bad guy’s got to it first. It was basically an intel mission. They tracked and found the equipment. All they had to do was reach the aircraft and they could be out of there.
He began to feel a sinking feeling in his stomach and what felt like bile coming out. Clay leaned down and began gagging. As Quiet as he could it was kind of hard to keep quiet when gagging though. It came out of his mouth and he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
He was about to stand back up. They had to get moving. But he looked down and he stared at a single azalea. It was orange, almost the same color as the sun set. He looked back and Trent was stilling watching his six. He leaned down and picked the flower up tucking it into his pocket.
“Are you alright?” Trent asked, concerned. He could hear the sound of Clay gagging and his medical tendencies began to act up. Was he eating enough or was he sleeping enough? What was wrong with Clay? His mind buzzed with worried.
Clay nodded before he could even began to think of what the fuck just happened. How did a flower come out of his throat? Was that even possible? “Yea let’s keep moving” he whispered into the night air. He had to focus on the task at hand. And try not to think about the orange flower in his pocket.
But now he was back home and not in some European country. They had a day off and Clay was enjoying it to the full extent. The guys all went home to spend time with their families. But he did go to the gym and exercise with Sonny.
It wasn’t like Sonny didn’t have family. He knew the man’s family was in texas. His mother was dead but his father was still alive. It wasn’t often that they got enough time off especially for a drive to Texas. But when he did Sonny was off to see him.
He had just left the gym and was about to get in his truck when he began gagging. Leaning against his truck. His eyes began to water and stomach curled in pain. He hated the feeling of throwing up. But worse he felt like throwing up a whole flower. Leaning his head behind his arms gagged until the flower was coming out of his throat and he pulled it out with his fingers.
This was the second one and he hadn’t had any time to look at the flower he threw up during the mission. Or think about why it was happening. Maybe he was just avoiding the subject. He didn’t want to think about it. About how he could be dying when his career only just started.
It happened again.
And again
It happens many times again.
It had been a month since the flowers started. Until now he has a stack of orange Azaleas in his apartment in a small jar. Some of them are dying and some are still bright and orange just like the sunset or sunrise. He just can't bring himself to throw any of them away.
And Clay knew he should tell someone. That his team would be mad if they found out he hadn’t told anyone of them. Especially Trent. That he didn’t even have to tell them he could go to the hospital or tell the medic at the base. There was so many options.
But Clay was scared. He didn’t want to know what it meant. And worse he didn’t want to know if know one didn’t know what it meant.
It continued on for another week.
Until he was gagging a flower up every other day sometimes even twice a day. It was just getting worse and he knew it. A part of him wanted to keep it under wraps. But he couldn’t let it affect his performance. He would be putting lifes in danger and not only his. He would be affecting his brothers. He couldn’t do that.
So eventually Clay decided he was going to tell someone. Jason no that wasn’t a good idea. Ray no he had too much going on. Sonny? No he would just laugh at him. Make a joke about him throwing up flowers. Brock, well that wouldn’t be a bad idea. But Trent was the medic on the team. It would be best if he let him know.
The others had left and Clay had thought it was the best time to talk to Trent. He walked up to the man’s cage and almost turned back around. But Trent caught him. So he might as well go through with it.
“Trent, can I see you?” he asked sheepishly.
Trent zipped his bag dropping it straight down. A concerned expression on his face. Many members came to him even off the field. Some, well most soldiers, especially the ones on his team disliked going to the doctors or hospital. He couldn’t understand why. But as long as they asked him for help he wouldn’t be angry.
“Yea what’s up?” he asked worriedly.
Clay opened his mouth and closed them repeatedly. He walked away from Trent placing slightly. Now Trent was becoming severely worried. He stepped out of his cage leaving his bag on the floor so he could walk towards Clay albeit a little carefully.
“You’re gonna think I'm crazy,” He said, shaking his head at Trent.
“Try me, what's going on clay?” he said softly trying to get the man to open up.
He could see something was wrong with the youngest member. Everybody was noticing it well all the bravo team members didn’t think the other’s noticed anything yet. How he was more in his head. He also seemed more anxious and stressed. Trent wanted to kick himself from not saying anything to him. To his brother.
Clay sucked in a breath. He was just going to say it-
“I’m spitting up flowers' ' he said in a rush and soon after he shut his eyes as soon as he revealed the news, he was preparing to be humiliated. Call him a nut case and tell the others. But he did neither. When silence passed and he hadn’t spoken. He realized there was a small smile on his lips
“Your father never brought it up?” he questioned with furrowed brows. It was sort of like the birds and the bees talk. Every parent or guardian told their kids. Or the school. But the matter is every child understood. Well the best a child could understand something like that.
But then again Trent should remember Clay grew up in Liberia. The only education he had was from his grandparents. He learned different languages and the basics. But that was all. He didn’t grow up the same way he or any of the guys on the team.
Clay rolled his eyes, almost laughing at the thought. “I think we already established what a bad father Ash was,” he said humorously.
But then he realized what Trent said. It wasn’t him going crazy; others knew about it.“So what is it?” he asked, coming close to trent. He was just ready to get it over with and figure out how to make it stop.
But then Trent put up a hand at Clay’s chest. “No wait here” he said before walking past him and out of the room. Clay watched him with a confused expression. And anxiety surged through him again. Was it serious?
It only took five almost six minutes for Trent to gather the guys. He brought Jason and Ray. But couldn’t find Sonny and Brock wasn’t on base. They were both off talking to a high school telling them about the military and Navy specifically. It was a direct order from the higher ups and no matter if the didn’t want to they had to do it.
Clay watched as the three men walked in. He leaped up from the bench he began sitting on. “Would someone tell me what’s going on?” He requested. Ray shared a look with Bravo one as he continued walking behind Jason then shut the door behind him.
He gave the three a look. If they didn’t tell him what was going on he was going to leave. ‘It’s called hanahaki’s disease,” Jason revealed. Clay stopped and he looked at the man confused and a bit scared. He had a disease?
Jason sighed as he leaned against the table. Of course Ash wouldn’t explain any of this. He looked at Clay with soft eyes. Sometimes he couldn’t help but think of clay as one of his own children. He worried for Clay just like children. That’s why he was so against him joining the team. But now he couldn’t imagine him not being a part of it.
“When someone loves another person a whole lot but the person doesn’t reciprocate it” he said continuing before clay walked away.
Clay looked between the man still lost.“They begin spitting flowers out” Ray said, joining in. They were acting like this was normal. That vomiting flowers was a normal thing people do. He almost thought they were messing with him. But he knew in his head logically they wouldn’t do such a thing. They were his family.
It all sounded made up.
Trent looked at him carefully. Like he was reading his mind.“We’re not messing with you,” he said, gesturing with his open hands. He could be calming and comforting when he wanted to. It must be a part of being a medic. He thought briefly.
Jason could remember going through the same thing with Alana. “I was coughing up tulips for weeks,” Jason said, chuckling a bit. He could still remember when it stopped. He was basically jumping for joy just for not having to puke the things up any more but when he realized why he was even more ecstatic.
Ray smirked. “Yea I was coughing up daisies for two days” He said, nodding proudly. Like it was a competition. It didn’t take long for Naimi to fall for him. He liked to say ithe way it happened was when she saved his life in the hospital and he bled over her new white shoes.
“Ok Mr show off” Jason said rolling his eyes at Ray.
Clay watched them used to the competition but he had bigger problems going on at the moment. “I hate to bring the mood down but what do I do?” He didn’t have any idea of who the mysterious person could be.
“We’re going to help you find out who it is,” Ray said with a grin.
Jason scratched his beard. Clay could tell he was thinking hard right now. “Are you sure it’s not Stella?” he suddenly asked.
Clay’s cheeks turned a bit pink and he shook his head quickly. That didn't end well with the woman. They were never right for eachother. Quoting Stella herself they were too different for each other. He just thinks she couldn’t take his life. That it was too hard for her too handle.
Over the next couple of weeks the man searched and thought of who it could be. In between missions and outing to the bar. Clay had begun having to excuse himself just so he could throw up a small bouquet. Just to relieve himself from the pressure.
It was taking a toll on him and the team could tell. It was only urging their mission. They wanted to let Brock and Sonny know. But Clay was against it. He didn’t want anyone else to know of his situation. Or pull anyone else in.
Every other day one or all of the men would come to Clay. With a person’s name. But Clay would shut it down immediately. ‘What about that guy, what's his name Charlie?’ he shook his head. No he could feel it. It wasn’t Charlie and it wasn’t Stella nor was it Rebbeca.
It was someone else.
But that left him with who?
Then one random day Ray came up to him. When it was just the two of them. “I think it might be Sonny,” he suggested. He had been thinking about it a lot lately. And it fit the bill. Clay and Sonny were always together. Sometimes it appeared they were even flirting. With the excessive nicknames and the touch on the shoulder arm or even leg.
Clay’s eyes widened and he looked around trying to make sure no one was near to hear. “What do you mean you think it’s Sonny” he asked in a pitched voice. He even walked closer to ray just to be sure no one would overhear him.
Ray put his hands out as far as he could with Clay being so close.“Hear me out” he said slowly as he eyed Clay. That wasn’t a normal reaction.
“You two are always together” he listed off.
“That’s because we're best friends,” Clay answered easily with a small smile on face. He hadn’t ever had a best friend unless that included brian.
“Orange flowers are his favorite” Ray listed off next.
“They are?” Clay asked, interested.
Ray rolled his eyes but then perked up. So he was standing straighter. “That’s the point” he whispered pointing at Clay. he shrugged his shoulders and became serious. Because this was still a big deal. Clay’s life was on hold because of this.
“He’s the only one that I think could be it” he said in a murmur. And they really needed to figure out who it was. Clay only had so much time.
“But Sonny doesn’t like men?” Clay asked, his eyebrow furrowing as he thought about it.
He shrugged his arms. Like he didn’t know. Like was the key word. He didn’t want to out Sonny. Even if it was someone on there team. “You'll have to talk to Sonny about that” he said before slipping away to head home. He kept Naimi and the kids long enough.
Clay couldn’t help but think of what Ray said. What if Sonny was the one he loved?
Could he love Sonny?
His cheek’s pinked and he gradually began to think about it. What it would be like to tell Sonny. How would he react? What it would be like to hold the man’s hand or to kiss him. Or for more softer and fluffier things. Like what it would be like to wake up in his arms and to go to sleep in them.
He internally shook his head. So he might have a little crush on sonny. But how was he even supposed to know if Sonny was the one? What if he told Sonny and he wasn’t the one he liked or worse he didn’t like him back?
His phone began to ring and he forced himself to forget about his worries. Forcing himself to put on a serious face and calm himself. Whenever you get a call in the military it could have many reasons. And he needed to be on the top of his game when he answered. Pulling his phone out from his pocket not even checking the called ID he answered.
“Spenser” He greeted in a deep voice.
“Blondie, where are you?” Sonny asked, sounding annoyed. Clay stopped where he was before he pushed the door to go outside. Like he was checking to make sure he heard the man right.
Clay's eyes widened. “Sonny? What are you talking about?” He asked, stammering slightly. Of course it was Sonny.
“I'm at your place but you're not here” He said.
He furrowed his brow. Why was he there? He knew how he had a spare key. Only if anything was wrong. It was for an emergency not for sneaking in. “Why are you at my place?” He asked, confused. They didn’t have any plans for the day. In fact he hadn’t talked to Sonny at all today.
“To hang out, what else?” He said. Clay could heard him chuckle on the the other end.
Clay put the phone on the side of his ear so he could put his key into his door. “Alright, I'm on the way,” He said.
“You better be,” Sonny said. Clay only rolled his eyes and hung up sliding the phone back into his pockets.
Driving there. Clay was talking to himself. He was going to act normal. He wasn't going to let Sonny know about his issue. He was just going to have a good time. He couldn't risk his friendship.
Even if that meant death.
Chapter Text
But his team wouldn't let him die. Even when Clay himself was heading there himself. Even when he didn't want their help and didn't ask for it. His team were still there by his side cheering him on. Telling him to keep going. Forcing him to keep going.
He didn’t believe in a team as a family. He told Brian that it was all but a fairy tail. But here he was. They were taking care of him just like a family would. And they weren’t even out on the field. They were on base. John and Brian were right.
Clay went back home and had a good time with Sonny. He didn't tell him a thing about the Azalea’s nor did he act any differently. They drank beer, watched a movie and talked about random stuff.
And when he went to the bathroom with a careless grin. Like he didn’t have a problem and like he hadn’t felt like throwing up for the majority of the time. He shut the door and ran to the toilet throwing up flowers. His eyes stung and his throat hurt. He whipped his mouth, flushed the toilet and went back out.
He went through his day as usual. Joked around with Sonny and brock. Tried to avoid Trent and Jason’s concerns and Ray’s looks. Telling him he needs to get a move on.
They were in the locker room changing about to leave. He was just almost out the doors. But he couldn’t hold it any longer. Clay bent over and began to gag. One by one the guys poked their heads out and to Clay where he was hunched over in his cage.
Trent entered first since he was the medic. But there wasn’t much he could do. Nothing but pat Clay's back. “That's right, cough it up brother” he said comfortingly.
Jason walked up and leaned against the side of the Cage, his arms crossing his chest. He looked at Clay with soft and worried eyes. With every gag and heave the man made his arms tightened. He felt useless. “Still haven't figured out who it is?” He asked.
“Figure out what?” Brock asked with furrowed brows as he walked up.
Ray shook his head with a nasty look on his face. Mixed in with a guilty one. He shouldn’t have let things get this bad. He should have pressed Clay or been more helpful. He knew he didn’t know anything about the disease. He didn’t know how bad it could get. Ray had seen it before.
“No we have,” He said, still looking at the youngest team member.
Jason dropped his arms and looked to Ray then to Clay. “Then why haven’t you done anything about it?” he asked them both angrily. And why wasn’t he notified? Cerberus tucked her tail beneath her legs and trotted by Jason to come up by Clay.
“I don’t want to ruin anything” Clay said between a gag. Then he ducked his head again. His eyes were beginning to tear up and his throat stung. This was a bad one. Cerberus rubbed her snout against him and Clay tried to pet her but he could barely move his body. He felt so weak.
Jason ignored him and he came up to ray. “Who is it Ray?” he asked. He knew Ray would tell him. He was his best friend and his right hand man. He was only surprised he hadn’t told him sooner.
Clay couldn’t speak, he looked up at Ray pleadingly. Trent patted his back one more time but his attention was trained on Ray as well. They all wanted to know who the mysterious person was. “I’m Sorry brother but this is for your own good” Ray said. He is just doing what he should've done earlier.
At that time the door swung open and Sonny walked in with a big grin. “It’s Sonny,” he revealed. Clay looked up and met eyes with Sonny. He let out a gag and an orange flower came from his lips. And another and another.
The grin dropped from Sonny’s lips and he looked around. Something was going on. But he wasn’t sure. “What’s going on?” he asked as he shut the door. Jason wiped his face and stepped away until he came back around to Clay.
“Tell him or I will,” He said angrily. He could have told Sonny right then and there. But he knew Clay would tell Sonny. Unless he wanted him to give him a lecture. He gestured for the other’s to follow and Ray followed automatically. Then Brock and he whistled for Cerbeus.
The dog licked Clay's hand and got up and trotted behind his owner. Then it was Trent’s turn he gave Clay one last concerned look but followed behind brock.
Sonny watched one by one as their teammates walked away. “Wanna tell me what’s going on blondie?” He asked. He came up to the cage and Clay was there sitting on the floor. But the part that he paid attention to was the flowers around him. An orange flower in between his fingers and more on the floor.
“Wait-” His eyes widened. Like everything was coming together. And he was understanding. Sonny shook his head and took a step back from the cage away from Clay.
“No-” he said, pointing to Clay.
Sonny shook his head once more and turned away from Clay. He couldn’t even look that way. And for a moment clay’s stomach dropped but not from the flowers or a need to throw up. He knew Sonny wouldn’t like him back. They shouldn’t have forced him to tell him.
After a moment he finally turned back to Clay. He opened his lips and closed them again.“Why haven't you told me?” he asked, sounding reality calm for a man in his situation.
Clay shrugged his shoulders and shifted. Emitting a small groan from him. “I didn't want things to be weird between us?” he said not looking at Sonny. His eyes were closed and his head was propped up against the wall. While one leg was laid out in the flowers.
He didn’t like that answer. Sonny came closer to him at a fast speed. “So you would rather die” he said fumingly. The idea of clay giving up. Of just laying down and dying. And not telling him. Because he didn't want to cause a little awkwardness between the two of them?
“Sonny-” he began not wanting to argue. This whole thing was crazy.
“No you think about how I'd feel then” Sonny yelled at him. Clay’s eyes opened and he turned his head down to look at Sonny finally. He looked upset, his eyes were wet and his teeth were grinding together.
“Just because you don’t want to make things awkward” he said but stopped himself.
“Just because you think i don't like you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have tell me”
“Sonny i’m sorry” Nothing he tried to say was good enough. It left no comfort. And did nothing to erase what he did. What he thought was the right thing.
He shook his head. But he didn’t yell. “No sorry isn’t good enough” He said before he looked down at Clay. “You should have told me” He said in a calm voice. Then he left. Sonny just left without
As soon as he regained his strength. As soon as he felt like he wasn’t going to throw up again. Clay left to find the others. His eyes landed on Jason and Ray at a lunch table. And he hurried to them, as fast as he could without running in the cafeteria..
“I hope you’re happy Sonny won’t speak to me” He said looking between the two. They each stopped talking about whatever it was and looked at him.
Jason’s head snapped at him.“Hey i don’t want to hear it” He said in a stern voice. One that he used for children not for his teammates. Clay just rolled his eyes and looked the other way. He didn’t need to be fathered right now. He didn’t even know what he actually needed.
Maybe for Sonny not to be mad at him-
“It’s my fault” Ray cut in.
But Jason shook his head. “No no it’s not” he said.
Jason sighed letting the tension release from him. He could see how beat up Clay was about this. Even if he had some anger and some things he wanted to say about the situation. He would keep it inside. “Give it some time” He said, placing a hand on Clay’s shoulder.
Clay shook his head but nevertheless leaned into the touch of Jason. “He’s not going to speak to me again”
“You know Sonny, he just needs to cool off,” Jason said confidently. He knew Sonny he was going to go and blow off some steam. Maybe go to the gym and run or lift some weights. He needed some time to think. This was a lot to put on a person.
Clay nodded his head hopefully. He hoped that was it. He didn’t know it he could handle Sonny ignoring him and not talking to him again. He was his best friend for most and he would rather die than change anything because he was being selfish.
“Wanna join us?” Ray questioned.
But Clay shook his head and looked up from the floor to face them. “No uh i got something to do” He said. Jason released his shoulder but not before giving it a big squeeze. He watched as clay walked away the same way he came.
Ray shook his head and reached for a fry on his plate. “Don’t doubt yourself you did the right thing” he said before plopping the fry in his mouth.
Jason sighed and turned from the exit. Since he just got caught. “It’s still scary how you do that,” he said lightly. Ray just grinned. He was number two for a reason wasn’t he.
It was almost midnight and Clay couldn’t sleep. He still felt too beat up over everything. Sonny looked so mad at him. He ignored him for the rest of the day. He was just about to go and grab a beer and something to eat when he could hear a knock at the door. He was just going to ignore it.
But then they hit it again and again. Before they were banging on his door.“Give me a minute” he called a little angrily.
He threw the door opened and the anger left his body. There Sonny was. He had his hands in his pockets and his head tilted to the floor. He didn’t look like he did earlier. He didn’t look angry and was ready to bite his head off. He looked upset.
“You need to know you can’t decide things like that for me”
“Okay” Clay whispered.
Then his shoulders tensed and he shook his head. You know what. No. He had enough of the yelling and the lectures. He had enough people telling him what to do. He was a grown man. “If you just came here to yell at me I get it” He said with a pointed look.
Sonny rolled his eyes and put a hand up to Clay’s chest to stop Clay from speaking and he was successful. Because Clay just dropped his hand from the door. “Listen to me, '' Sonny said slowly.
He breathed in a breath and ran through his hair with his other hand. “And you need to know i love you” He said
Clay stopped breathing. It flt like he stopped blinking. He what? “So don’t do anything that stupid again” Sonny said, as he tapped his closed fist on Clay’s chest.
“You what?” Clay asked, choking on his words.
He could argue that he was barely there as Sonny stepped forward and pulled him for a kiss. It all felt so fake. So unreal, But then Sonny placed a palm on his cheek and brushed it with his thumb. “I love you too,” Sonny said with a grin.
Then he snapped out of his shock and he leaned back into Sonny pushing their lips back together. The kiss became more rougher and hands slid down each other's body until they backed into Clay’s apartment and the door slammed behind them.