Chapter Text
She woke with dread like a stone in the pit of her stomach, heavy and unwelcome. The uneasy feeling of the dream clouded her mind at first but quickly became abstract and distant, as dreams most often did. Mezalie hadn’t dreamt since she was a little girl though, at least not until three nente ago when she began having the same strange dream. Each time it had left her clinging to the threads of it, trying to understand. Why now? What did it mean?
A hot, acidic, feeling crept up the back of her throat forcing her to swallow once and then twice, to keep it down before she rolled over on her tiny bunk to take a deep breath. She laid there, her breathing kept carefully even, until she no longer felt like she might lose her stomach.
The ship around her groaned as water pushed and shoved and rocked. Waves like dark, reaching, hands crashed against it trying to drag the beast down. A hovercraft did not belong in the sea, and the sea knew it.
Or that's how Mezalie felt about it anyway.
The noise of it all mixed with the vibrating hum of the engines below was a constant presence that comforted her somewhat. She knew logically that the ship was sound for seafaring. Her pod’s TVE was exceptionally well maintained; it had never had a leak or a downed engine despite many of its components being practically ancient. She should know afterall, as she spent an almost equal amount of time in the engine rooms as she did topside tending to the crops on deck. The knowledge however didn't stop her gut from protesting the gentle sway of the craft.
Five quick taps on her door told her that she’d already slept past what was politely late. She groaned out a miserable, ‘I’m up’, unsure if she was even heard before she scooted to the edge of her bunk and swung her legs down to sit up. No further knocks came. Despite her tardiness she took her time to stretch, twisting and shaking out the sleep from her body and her mind.
The soft, plush, rug she’d gotten at a bazaar in Voledesen, long ago now, was always such a welcome barrier between her and the shock of the cold, metal floor. A tap with the back of her heel had the compartment below her bunk popping open, producing a variety of things including her worn-in arcter wool socks. The chill that the ship took on was something she never really shook, no matter how long they were out to sea. She pulled a blanket from her bed and huddled beneath it before shuffling the short steps to her closet. Like everything else on a TVE it was built in and designed only to open with a gentle push.
There wasn't much for personal space on a TVE but Mezalie managed to cram a great many things into hers anyway. The closet was full of shoes and slippers, belts and beads, scarves and everything in-between. Things were hung on hooks and in bags, all packed as tightly as she could get them. Any clothing that fit on a hanger was hung and what didn't fit was secured in the drawer below her bed.
What her tiny bunk room didn’t have in furnishings she made up for in decor. The cold, drab walls were covered in faded, grainy smiles, both Mezlaie’s and those of strangers and friends that she’d met as the pod circumnavigated in chase of Sol. There were flyers for shows she’d caught in towns they’d stopped in and posters for festivals in a variety of languages. There were no windows in the lower deck rooms so the things she decorated with reminded her that driev like this were worth it. She gripped the edge of her closet door and considered her options as she gently swayed in place. The rocking the last several driev was getting to her and she spent less time sleeping and more time curled in her bunk trying not to throw up.
She chose something well worn and comfortable that she could layer with a sweater and then a thick pair of pants. She was on watering duty first-thing and while the greenhouse was warm, the wind could cut right through a person when it whipped just right down the breezeway. She wasn't interested in being nauseated and cold. She gathered her work boots from the corners they'd slid into and shoved her feet in.
The door to her room slid shut behind her with a gentle hiss and a barely audible click. The hall was empty and she padded softly, practically on her toes, so as not to disturb the silence. She found, as she often did, that her footsteps began to sync up with the rhythmic beating of the engines on the deck just below. The sound of the mechanical heartbeat was sometimes the only thing she could rely on to keep her grounded when she’d been at sea too long.
The weather had been good. The water was mostly calm and the sky was mostly cloudless. They’d moved through one small storm which she’d spent most of in her room with a bin nearby but otherwise it had been rather nice. All things considered it felt a little unfair that her stomach was so uneasy despite the optimal conditions. The dream still lingered at the back of her mind like a mist slowly evaporating under the heat of Sol.
The lights that dotted up and down the hall were dim, on the nente cycle still. The ones that led up the staircases were a bit brighter. There were windows on the higher decks, though there was little light for them to let in yet. The sky ahead of the craft was completely dark, the horizon a deep, dark color that was hard to distinguish from the water rising up to meet it. When she finally reached the top deck, out in the open air she could see the whole sky as Sol barely peeked over the horizon behind them in the wake of the ship.
They had stopped to rig the TVE for seafaring on the coast of Syskel. Sol had just begun to dip below the horizon at the time, continuing its annual crawl around the globe. They’d made great time across the Folbenx sea so they’d come out well ahead of schedule as they approached Arlenasch. Behind them a violent pink threatened to turn to red as Sol rose slowly, driev by driev, over the horizon.
Mezalie never got tired of the way the colors of the sky blended together in the place between nente and driev. It was something to look forward to even when they were at sea. At one horizon she had the deep, bruised purple sky and at the other the nearly neon pink that blazed up from below the line of the sea. Between them was a gradient that matched the one on her favourite quilt, carefully and painstakingly hand dyed to match.
Ahraan, the smaller of the two moons, was just beginning to make its regular transit while the larger, ringed moon Dhelarly would not be seen for some time. Mezalie was on late shifts when most everyone else was sleeping. It was quiet on deck, just the sounds of the waves crashing and the wind whistling by as they went. It felt eerie, like she was all alone in the middle of the sea, a feeling left over from her strange dream, no doubt. It made a shiver run down her spine and if she took the steps up to the second deck two at a time who else needed to know.
Pidka no doubt heard her coming if he hadn't also expected her. She was a creature of habit, afterall. Even so he kept his nose crammed in his book, a reading light swaying on the hook above him as she pulled herself up onto the platform. The lone chair that had once been hauled up on a dare sat bare, its cushion removed. It did a poor job of blocking wind but it wasn’t nothing and she found Pidka sat on the solid flooring of the roost behind it, stolen cushion beneath him with a thick blanket tucked tight around himself.
The wind was worse up here, whipping her hair around her face, but the comfort of a familiar face was worth it. She didn't have to say a word as she approached, his arm automatically came out for her to nestle herself under. She curled into the warmth as she pulled the heavy comforter up to her shoulders.
"Rough one?" he asked, squishing her into his side to reach over and turn a page. She nodded into what was essentially his armpit.
"Yeah. Especially so,” she complained.
"Just nauseous?” he asked, surprised as it had been mostly smooth sailing. She didn’t answer right away, instead looking intently at the blanket tucked up to her shoulders. Finally she shook her head.
“No. I…I had a dream?” she sounded unconvinced even to herself. “I’ve been having a dream,” she corrected. Pidka’s attention was entirely on her then. He didn’t even look when he closed his book, setting it aside.
“You’ve been having a dream?” he asked like he needed to hear it again, just to be sure.
“Just for a couple of nente. I think three times,” she insisted like it wasn’t a big deal.
“Have you told Anana Brettira yet?” he asked, like it very much was a big deal. She grimaced as the light swayed above them and that told him as much as anything. Still she sighed and spoke over the wind.
“No. Not yet… I don’t know...” she whined.
“What do you mean you don't know?” he interrogated.
“I mean I don't know. It's only been a couple of times and I don't really remember much…It might be nothing.” she reasoned.
“And it might be something. Mez you haven’t dreamt since-” he stopped himself. They didn’t talk about the incident. “Since then,” he said instead. Mezalie did not respond nor did she look at him. “You should talk to Anana Brettira,” he reiterated.
“Fine. Gods you’re so overbearing,” she threw her head back and relented. She threw him a glare.
“Yeah,” he said like she was dense, “It’s my job as the oldest.” Mezalie tried to shove a hand in his face at that but their tussle quickly devolved into giggles when she missed, wind blowing her hair into her face.
“You tried eating anything yet?" Pidka asked then, once they’d settled back into companionable silence. He looked over at her, even in the low light he could see the dark spots developing under her eyes from too much time at sea.
"Not yet. I just got up," she punctuated with a yawn. He shifted them both to the side as he reached around behind him. She heard something solid scrape along the floorboards and a dish was produced. She pushed the blanket down just enough so she could select a bun from the hot plate, still warm enough to give off a bit of radiant heat as her hand drew near. She stuffed one in her mouth and grabbed a second for good measure. She mumbled a barely intelligible thanks as she chewed.
“I saw Klia go down that way a few times,” he said around his own bite, setting the dish between their feet to keep it from sliding. Mezalie groaned and sank further into the blanket.
“She’s obsessed with me, Pidka,” she complained.
“She’s our little sister, Mez.” He gave her a flat look. “She needs family, annura. After losing ana… It was brave to join the Pod. She’s trying to make friends.” Pidka reminded her and truthfully she did feel a little bad. “And she’s a little bit excited because it’s all new, you know?”
“Nobody should be excited to-” she spluttered as the wind blew her hair into her face. “Nobody except you should be excited to be on nente shift,” she pouted.
“You used to be,” he shrugged.
“Yeah. I used to get to spend my whole shift with Vell so it was actually fun,” she countered. He simply gave her a look and waited. The light hanging overhead cast long, swaying shadows over both of them as she narrowed her eyes back at him for a tes before finally breaking. “Fine,” she relented. “I see your point.” She rolled her eyes and stuffed the other bun in her mouth.
“She looks up to you. And she wants to hang out with you. The least you could do is give her a chance.” He nudged her gently with his elbow and she elbowed him right back. She stuffed the rest of her food in her mouth and chewed. Pidka waited patiently, not one to fill the silence unless necessary.
“I know you’re right and I hate it,” she huffed finally as she untangled herself from the blanket. She reached a hand out and steadied herself on the arm of the chair above them as she hauled herself up. Pidka moved to reach for his book.
“Have fun,” he bid her as she lowered herself over the side and down the ladder without further comment. At the last moment she stuck her hand back up over the edge to send him a rude gesture and his laughter trickled down after her as she went.
With food in her stomach and a pep talk to settle her nerves, she did feel better. She made her way from the front of the TVE to where the greenhouses sat. The main greenhouse was interior and housed flora that needed Sol-light to bloom. There in the humid housing they were able to use special lighting and heat vents from the engines to control blooms throughout their travels.
She stuck her head inside the heavy metal door and was relieved to find the top of a very familiar puff of hair bopping between rows of beds. The air smelled damp and warm and immediately felt dewey on her face as she entered. The noise was immediate- the sound of steam hissing, the crackling and popping of liquid nol in the overhead lights and the residual engine noises creeping up from the lower decks. There was also the ever present sound of water running as pumps circulated it through the pond beds.
She could see the trails of water zig-zagging along the floors where the hoses had been flung back and forth and they led right up to Klia, hose in hand. As she got close Mezalie heard the quiet humming of a familiar tune, a tune their ana used to sing even to her when she was small. Instead of announcing herself she chose to simply join in, softly singing the words along in tune with the younger woman as she stepped up behind her.
“Mez!” Klia perked up instantly at the addition and swung around, the hose spray going wide as she did. Mezalie had done that enough times to know better and was comfortably out of range. “I’m so sorry!” The girl cringed, redirecting the business end back into a flower bed. Mez motioned to herself.
“I’m still dry, no harm done,” she assured the younger girl. She offered a smile and stepped closer now that the threat of being soaked had passed. “Besides I deserve it for leaving you to work by yourself.” She leaned in and stuck a finger knuckle-deep into the soil of the bed being watered. Deciding that it was good enough she tugged the hose down to the next area with Klia running back to drag more slack around the bends.
“It’s okay. I couldn’t really sleep anyway. Switching my sleep cycle has been weird.” Klia called over the plants as she rejoined her. Mezalie reached up to dead-head some of the tallest plants that were often missed by the others. The tallest fruiting flowers would grow to the ceiling of the greenhouse and could grow much taller out on the seasonal deck. Only Mezalie, Pidka and a handful of others were tall enough to deal with those.
“You seem to be adapting okay at least.” Mez smiled at her as she turned and dumped the plant trash into the basket Klia had clearly been doing her own dead-heading into. “Already much better at sea-faring than I’ve ever been.”
“Aw, that's not fair. You can’t help that though.” Klia was quick to defend her. “Some people are just prone to seasickness. Plus,” she paused to heft the basket up onto her hip, “I grew up on the coast, I’ve been on lots of little boats and they’re way worse than any TVE.”
“I suppose that’s a good point.” She dragged the hose along with her as she moved. Klia had already done most of the greenhouse before Mez had joined her, leaving just a few more rows for them to tackle. For several tes they were quiet, the sounds of steam hissing up through vents rhythmically every few moments accompanied by the sound of a heavy flowerhead softly thumping into the basket as the two worked. Mezalie pretended not to notice that Klia would often peek over at her and open her mouth as if to say something but at the very last moment seem to decide against it. She could feel the nervousness radiating off the girl and she reminded herself that what Pidka said was right.
Joining a pod on your own could be difficult at the best of times. The communities were very tight knit and most people joined through existing family and relationships with people they already knew. While that was technically true for Klia, her situation was unique. She hadn’t actually known any of them before boarding the TVE in Syskel and in return she was a stranger to them. She was the youngest of their ana’s children, born after Erid had chosen to leave the Pod, and her older children, behind for a slow life by the sea. When Klia found herself alone after her aging ana passed she chose to track down the only family she had left, the closest being Erid’s other children: Mezalie, Pidka and Arandi. Arandi was much older even than Pidka though and spent most of their time with the older relatives.
It had been a long time since they’d had a new member to the Pod and Klia was younger than Mez so it felt satisfying to be the older sister rather than the younger for once.
She flipped the switch on the hose-head to stop the flow and turned to Klia with what she hoped was a conspiratorial grin.
“Hey, hear me out,” she started, “once we’re done with the upper deck how about we split a bottle of binent up in the garden?” she proposed.
The bioluminescent flowers in the uppermost deck garden were in bloom presently and they smelled a little sweet and so, so, fresh. She raised an eyebrow as she saw a crinkled smile creep onto Klia’s face. Mez was a little startled to recognize her own smile in the tilt of the girls’ lips. Klia shifted her eyes a bit, not quite meeting Mez’s.
“So,” she dragged the word out, “What if I told you I’d already done the top deck?” Mez could see the dark tinge that the girl's cheeks took on as she made her admission. Mezalie dropped her jaw.
“Shut up you did not,” she hissed but there was no venom in it. Klia covered her face with her hands, peeking out from between fingers.
“I told you I’ve had a hard time sleeping! I figured starting a bit early couldn’t hurt and then I thought you were feeling too ill so I said ‘well might as well get it done’ so…” She paused for a breath, slowly moving her hands and peeking through them at Mezalie. “Yeah. I already did it.” She looked guilty but the nervous energy she had shifted into something less rigid. Mez let out a laugh, wanting to release any remaining tension. She began coiling the hose around her arm and walked past Klia to wind it back up.
“Well, then let’s go rinse up before I have to go down to the engines?” She turned to look back and Klia hefted the dead-head basket onto her hip and followed after her.
“That sounds great.” Klia smiled and Mez felt that nervous energy drain away at last. She hadn’t even realized that she’d been treating Klia as an outsider, holding her at length, since she’d come aboard.
She felt rather guilty about it.
It wasn’t that she meant to, she just found it difficult to know how to balance building a new relationship and prioritizing her personal time. When Klia had come aboard she had immediately gravitated toward Mezalie and she wasn’t sure how to handle that. Truthfully some large part of her had been hesitant and wary of an unknown within her annura. It nearly felt like something was off center in her life trying to adjust to the new dynamic and she had unintentionally passed her resistance directly onto Klia herself.
They parted ways by the greenhouse door; Mezalie setting out to find a bottle she’d stashed away and Klia on her own mission to gather two glasses, and possibly a snack, she’d proclaimed.
“Lir mido,” Mez called out as she hurried down the steps she’d come up before. An affirmative and a similar call came from Klia as she went the other way toward the kitchen. As Mez rounded the deck and the roost came back into view she let out one long, high, whistle before she saw Pidka’s head poke up over the side.
“I’m trying! I’m going to talk to her!” she called, not too loud because it still felt odd to disrupt the silence. She saw him give her a thumbs up before disappearing back below the edge. It was as much as she’d expected to get. Pidka was in the middle of a book and the only reason he’d put it down before was because of the shock of Mezalie’s admission.
Not that it was a big deal, she told herself as her stomach rolled. She put the dream out of her mind for the time being. Now was about Klia and figuring out how to be a better sister.
She took the stairs all the way back down to the lower decks, making a detour down to her room for a blanket. She then ascended the stairs to the main pantry looking for the specific sweet, fizzy drink she had stashed luel ago.
When she finally made it up the steps to the top deck her legs were getting smart with her and she wasn’t surprised to find Klia had beat her there. She was overjoyed to see the girl had brought another blanket in addition to the heavy metal cups and what must be a loaf of bread wrapped in waxed cloth.
Mez came bearing not one but two bottles of sweet, carbonated wine. She would consider both one of her favorites but they had very different tastes. She had picked them up halfway around the world in Myajin when they had been leaving Narlan. The tropical climate was home to a lot of fruits you didn’t find anywhere else and Mezalie was decidedly a fan.
She plopped herself down next to Klia on a soft grassy patch in the center of the garden. It was the best place to watch the moons transit the sky as they sailed for ven on end. It kept time from feeling endless without another solid landmark for as far as one could see. She held both bottles up for Klia, letting her choose. She popped the cork on the chosen bottle, taking one cup from Klia and pouring a sizable amount before presenting it low for the other girl to assess.
“More? Less?” she prompted. Klia indicated for a bit more and Mez smirked at her. “Oh you surely are our ana’s daughter.” Klia took the goblet with a laugh and Mezalie poured her own.
“There wasn’t much to do on a small island but fish and there isn’t much to do when you fish but drink and play bayat.” Klia shrugged, taking a swig from her glass. Mezalie took a long sip of her own and layed back in the grass, resting the butt of her glass on her chest. She let the warmth of the fermented juice settle in her stomach, the sweetness leftover on her tongue a good contrast to the subtle heat.
“You smile like her too.” Mezalie finally said.
“Oh I’ve been told.” Klia grimaced just the tiniest bit. “Everyone back home told me how much I looked like ana,” she directed her eyes to Mezalie’s face. “But if they could see you they’d know a more accurate copy exists.” They both laughed. Mezalie knew she looked like Erid.
“When I was little, everyone used to call me her mirror,” Mez huffed. “There goes bida Erid”. She made a funny little running motion with her fingers through the air. “It was a little annoying when people continued to ‘accidentally’ call me Erid as the Solcen passed though.” She narrowed her eyes at the thought. Klia pulled her knees up to her chest, balancing her cup on one knee as she nursed it. She had pulled her blanket up over her shoulders however she wasn’t quite as bundled up as Mez was.
The wind really wasn’t so bad in the open garden. There was a considerable amount of permanent, hearty bushes at the front end and even a couple of trees whose root systems could be safely maintained. The garden was raised at the front and sloped down, both for irrigation and to minimize wind on the smaller more delicate plants at the back.
“Was it hard for you when ana stayed behind?” Klia’s voice was low and Mez could tell the girl was trying to be careful in asking the question.
“Not really.” Mez shrugged, trying to ease the tension before taking another long sip. “I was a very independent child so by the time she left I was already doing my own thing.” Klia seemed to consider this, taking a sip of her own before softly asking another question.
“But you’re close with Pidka?” Klia asked.
“That guy? Pshh.” Mez rolled her eyes but she smiled the whole time. “I guess so.”
“I don’t think he likes me.” Klia said in a quiet rush. She peeked over to gauge Mezalie’s reaction. She probably wasn't expecting the burst out laughter. Mez even managed to spill a drop or two before sitting up to steady herself again.
“Oh no. Pidka is just like that, I promise. He likes you just fine.” Mez assured her but she still saw a small fear on the girl's face. Maybe not fear, maybe vulnerability. She waited as Klia chose her next words.
“And you?” Two simple words. Klia was looking into the bottom of her goblet instead of anywhere near her. Mez reached behind herself to place her cup safely out of the way before scooting across the small space to wrap her arm around the smaller girl. It was somewhat awkward with Klia holding her own cup so she unwrapped her just long enough to take the cup and place it safely near her own.
“I like you just fine too. We’re annura.” Mezalie said finally, once she’d sufficiently wrapped Klia in the best hug she could manage. “I’m excited to have you in the Pod. Now I’ve got someone else to help me bully Pidka besides the children.” She felt Klia’s laugh as it shook her.
They finished the first bottle and half the bread together and elected not to open the second in favor of simply savoring the quiet peace while they compared growing up on the TVE versus a stationary life. Klia complained about the sea smell that clung to everything you had when you worked on the docks, and how when she realized she’d stopped smelling it that it was time to leave.
“I have a confession.” Mezalie said some time later, when Ahraan was creeping up in the sky and it transitioned from being Late to Early. The sky became a warm lavender as the soft blue light of the moon reflected back at them through the atmosphere. Klia turned her head to look at her. They’d taken to both laying back in the grass, watching as the sky turned. “I’ve been considering stopping off in Arlenasch when we land,” she admitted. She hadn’t told anyone that yet, not even Pidka.
“Nooo,” Klia pouted. “That makes sense for you, obviously, but that’s such a bummer.” She sighed. It was nice, Mez thought, that Klia wasn’t a born Solahran and there was no judgment in her voice because of the choice, just the loss. Leaving the Pod wasn’t often seen as a positive choice by others. “I mean, you grew up on a TVE. You’ve traveled with the Pod your whole life. It makes sense that you might want to try something else.” Klia reasoned but the pout never left her voice. It sounded so simple when she said it. Like it was just that easy.
“You’re extremely brave.” Mez said in response, to which Klia laughed.
“I don’t know if I’d call it brave or desperate,” Klia reached her arms above her head, stretching. “There wasn’t anything for me back home but fishing and I’ll tell you this secret-” she leaned close, bringing her hand up to her mouth to whisper, “I kind of hated fishing.” They both laughed. “And I can’t imagine you love seafaring-” Mezalie turned her head to the side to mock-retch into the grass. “And given that about half of Solahranhran travel is on the water I honestly can’t believe you made it this long.” Klia’s reasoning was not only sound but spot on.
“I have been thinking about it for a while now,” she admitted.
“Ana did it.” Klia pointed out. “And she was pretty happy with her choice. And if you hate it it’s not like you couldn’t come back, you know?”
“By the gods you’re more like Pidka than I could have guessed. So logical.” As they laughed together the sound of a high whistle blew somewhere past the garden followed by the melodic sounds of bells, still audible over the wind and their laughter. Mezalie pushed herself upright, reaching her arms high above her head in a stretch.
“Guess it’s back into the belly of the beast for me,” she joked as she helped Klia gather their things up before setting back towards the front of the sloped garden. Just before they reached the steps Klia spoke up.
“Even though I haven’t been here long…I’ll miss you if you do end up leaving,” she started, “but I think you should do what’s right for you.” Despite their prior conversation the vulnerability caught her off guard. She was struck with the choice to match it or play it off but she was never good at those sorts of heartfelt situations. Mezalie made a big show of acting like she was considering it hard, she rolled her eyes, pursed her lips, shuffled her shoulders.
“I guess I’ll think about it,” she said finally then turned to avoid whatever reaction Klia may have had and led them back down from the garden
As they came down onto the main deck it was no longer empty and dim. The lights that dotted along the ship had brightened and several larger overhead lights had come on to better illuminate the open areas as the first few people made it out bright-eyed and awake. Mez and Klia stopped for pleasantries as they passed the elders who were headed for the garden themselves with steaming cups of navarou.
Unbeknownst to Klia, Mez was headed for the roost in hopes she could catch the shift switch still. She was delighted when they rounded the corner and Pidka was still standing at the base having a chat with Drenna before they swapped places. She waved to catch their attention and they both turned as they came to join them.
“Kol driev!” Drenna called out as they approached. She was always in such a good mood and Mezalie often found it rather contagious.
“Kol driev.” Mez repeated back with a smile. Drenna was a tiny thing, both short and petite as was common of her lineage. Her mother and father left their isolated Northern tribe to see the world when they were young and found their way onto the TVE so they never stopped seeing it. Drenna possessed what Mezalie called a ‘large personality’ and so her stature was only especially noticeable when she was, for example, standing next to the three of them. All of her children had gotten Erid’s height, even if Klia had a slighter, more delicate frame. Mez tipped her head in Klia’s direction.
“I’m down in engines for a bit,” she started, looking to Drenna. “I was wondering if you might like some company?” The other woman was the perfect candidate she thought, friendly and outgoing, to get Klia to branch out and get comfortable with the others. Sure enough, Mez saw her face light up, her smile somehow brightening.
“Oh of course!” She wasted absolutely no time at all in reaching over to take Klia’s hand. “I love company in the roost. It’s so boring all alone up there all the time.” She gave a pointed look at Pidka who, Mezalie’s short visits aside, spent his shifts alone. Her dramatics could be a bit much for Mezalie but Klia seemed perfectly enchanted.
Mezalie quietly excused herself as Drenna and Pidka tussled over the benefits of company. She gave a little wave to Klia as she headed back down the main stairs.
Down,
down,
down she went to the lower deck, below the last sleeping quarter level where her own bunk was. There was a single living quarter on the engine deck for the engine master though hardly anyone ever actually stayed there anymore. The noise of the and the vibrations of an ancient, pre-war, ship like theirs would rattle anyone down to their last nerve.
She pulled the door open to the entryway of the main cabin. Inside the noise was deafening and she quickly grabbed and hooked a pair of earmuffs securely over her ears, blocking out the worst of it. She shed her heavy sweater and hung it near the door with a single other jacket. At the end of the small room was an open closet full of loose zip-up suits made of stiff, thick fabrics. She clunkily pulled one on over her clothes, hearing the scratchy fabric scrape across itself.
The cuffs of the suit were covered in a sooty blackness, as were several other places, whether from a dark greasy oil or charring it was hard to tell. She tucked the suit over the tops of her work boots. Finally she pulled a pair of gloves on and tucked the cuffs of her suit down into them. When she dragged the heavy inner door open the heat hit her like a wall. It was enough to take a person’s breath away and made it hard to take that first breath, like swallowing fire.
Mezalie took a strong, deep breath in and relaxed for the first time since she’d awoken. Even through the suit the heat warmed her to her core and she felt well in a way she otherwise didn’t when Sol was far from overhead. Like the overwhelming majority of Solahrans, Mezalie was a solafentra, like her ana and hers before that; the fire was in her blood. It was said the first Solahran was born of a seed that only bloomed after a fire and it was that fire that in turn drove her and the others to follow Sol around the world in a never-ending voyage to bask in the warmth and the light. During their longest sailing, across the Folbenx Sea, Mez enjoyed spending her time in the engines, letting the heat ease her chilled bones.
The door opened to the first engine, a massive central casing with a dozen enormous pistons pumping in time. The entire room rattled along with their firing. It was a familiar tune that she knew well. As she crossed the room she heard a whining sound and was unsurprised when she picked up the task list for the shift that there was a belt marked as needing attention.
She made herself busy attending to belts and checking pressure gauges. She crossed off tasks left for her and marked down new ones as needed. By the time she was ready to head into the second engine her hair was damp and sticking to her forehead where it sat. She ran the back of her arm over her face again, no doubt leaving behind a grime.
The second engine room was still hot but significantly cooler in comparison to the inferno that was the first. It was similar in build however the pistons on this one ran much slower as did most of the components. In a similar fashion it needed much less attention, working at a much more leisurely pace. She was able to knock out the entire task list, all two items, in barely any time at all. She was able to spend the rest of her time on thorough cleaning, part of the upkeep she did often. Vell, the current engine master and her dearest friend, drilled into everyone that the best way to avoid grease and grime on everything was to not let it build up in the first place. Not everyone was as dedicated to the procedure as Vell was but Mez liked to think she did a pretty good job.
She was thankful for the ease of her driev. While she was feeling better than she had when she woke, time at sea really did wear her down. Nearing the end of their trip made her yearn for solid ground even more, knowing they were so close. She thought about what Klia had said as she sprayed a degreaser into a small crevice before jamming a cloth in to wipe it away. The cloth came out with minimal residue and she moved on. She thanked the gods she only had to do engine two, of the four.
It really was a miracle that she’d lasted as long as she had in the Pod. She delighted in the travel aboard the TVE. She’d seen so much of the world in broad strokes as they went along but she’d never explored as much of those places as she wanted. When Erid had chosen not to continue on with the Pod all those solcen ago it had seemed like such a foreign decision to Mez. Her whole family, her whole community, was on the ship. The idea of starting over somewhere new, with nobody, was something she had a hard time thinking of without making herself feel a little bit ill. She moved methodically from one end of the enormous engine to the other.
Klia had done it though, she reminded herself. And Klia was younger than her, though she seemed a fair bit more outgoing than Mez felt in most situations. Mezalie preferred company to alone time unlike Pidka but she often found herself struggling to initiate, struggling to engage.
She had a pile of somewhat grimy rags at her feet when she was done. She was no longer sweaty but she felt thoroughly warmed from her fingers to her toes and all the rest of the way in between. She gathered the rags together and piled them into the cloth bag that sat on the floor just inside the utility closet door. The bag was rather full at the end and she elected that it was time to bring it up for washing. She hefted the bag up over her shoulder and brought it with her back through the scorching heat of the first engine room where she shed her suit and gloves. Those went back where they came from.
With her sweater donned she nudged the wash bag out the door with her foot as she pulled the door solidly closed behind her. She adjusted and settled back into her sweater as the chill of the hall tried to spread its icy fingers where she’d sweat along the back of her neck. She was about to heft the bag up when she paused, straightening as she looked down the hall. She pushed the wash bag up against the door to come back for on her way out.
She made her way to the number three and four engines and pushed the door open to a dark room. Unlike the two she spent most of her time on, these engines did not have an oppressive heat wave nor were they quite as loud as the mechanical ones. The lights blinked to life as she entered, roused by her movement and the room was alive with the buzzing of hundreds of fans, all whirring to life at their own pace dependent on what bank of tech they were cooling. Along each wall were rows upon rows of power banks, masses of cords protruding to connect them all to each other. A third row in the center split the room in two all the way to the end, creating a loop of sorts. There was only a single monitor connected to the wall at the front of the room near the door, the contents of which were of no concern to her.
“Who’s ‘at?” A voice called out from somewhere deeper in the room. Mezalie made her way down the side of the corridor the voice seemed to have come from. She almost walked right past Vell when she did finally find the other woman. Mez stooped down to peer under the counter that Vell was presently wedged beneath. She’d removed a large panel in the siding and had crawled into the guts of the engine. She had a small square light box wedged between her and the wall and a cable between her teeth with a mess of others around her. She was methodically swapping ends of some cables for others that looked no different to Mezalie.
“You look busy,” she said.
“I’m always busy.” Vell answered, swapping another end, absentmindedly placing another cable between her teeth due to her deficit in hands. Mezalie dropped into a crouch at the mouth of the cave Vell had created. She watched the woman work, checking small fuses and plugging and unplugging before checking a small device for a readout. Thus far it hadn’t given a read out that Vell had liked since she continued her guess and check procedure. The floor was cold, even through her pants and a chill tickled up her spine. Mez hugged her knees to her chest, throwing her arms around them.
“I think I might want to stay behind in Arlenasch this soltzet.” She finally offered up. Vell paused to look at her, met her eyes, saw the set of her jaw and the way she sat, before she responded.
“Why don’t you tell me about it then,” she said finally. She leaned back into her task, flicking her eyes back to Mezalie in a show that she was still listening. Mezalie took a deep breath and released a sigh.
“It’s not just the seasickness, to be clear,” she began, “but that’s certainly part of it.” She placed her forehead against her knees, gathering her thoughts.
“I’m having this dream…” she admitted for the second time. Now that she'd already said something to Pidka it didn't seem so daunting to say it again. Vell stopped what she was doing and looked at her, eyes a little wide in surprise but she didn’t say anything. The look she gave her was full of expectation, waiting for her to continue like she knew there was more because she did. Unlike Pidka, Mez couldn't shrug her off and placate her with a white lie. She would sense it immediately and she'd end up pulling it out of her anyway and she'd be disappointed that she lied.
“I’m in this big open field and everything is gray. I can’t see anything past the edge of this heavy fog.” She closed her eyes, imagining it. “It feels like I’ve been there before. Like I recognize it somehow but I’ve never been anywhere like that.” Vell is nodding along as she tells her story. “Every time I try to leave or find out where I am I just get confused and find myself back at the start,” she explains, recalling as much of the dream as she can. She's had it several times now but even then, it was foggy and misshapen in her mind.
I’m afraid I’m seeing visions of my own death, she doesn't say. She can't bring herself to say it in fear that it would make it more real. She'd never spoken a word about the very last vision she'd seen as a child, before she'd suddenly stopped being able to see them at all. Instead she told the half truth she thought she could get away with.
“I think maybe I’m afraid that staying where I’m at is preventing me from seeing past the fog. I’m looking for something that’s not here... And with Klia joining us it’s got me thinking about Erid, too.” Vell took a deep breath and resumed her movement for several dib. She finally plugged her connectivity sensor in once again and a small chime played along with the readout. She set about gathering up the various bits and bobs that had spread out around her.
“I think maybe I want something different. At least for now. And Arlenasch is never lacking in agricultural work, especially in the luel before solrise,” she added. Mezalie unbent herself and scooted out of the way as Vell crawled backwards out of the paneling. Once out, the woman twisted this way and that, popping her spine and stretching.
“Are you trying to convince me or you?” Vell asked, her voice tight.
“I don’t know. I guess I’m still trying to decide,” Mezalie groaned.
“Well, we’re just about there you know. Any driev now.” Vell reminded her and Mezalie simply groaned again, everyone kept reminding her. Vell let out a small chuckle. “Sometimes I’d love to do a loop in your mind, just to see how it all works in there. It sounds like you’ve put some thought into it though so it seems like you’ve made your decision,” she said in a more serious tone.
“I talked to Klia about it a little and I guess it made me feel brave. Like if she could do it, I could do it, right?” Mezalie reasoned.
“Oh you’re talking to Klia before me now?” Vell put on a dramatic, scandalized front. “I see I’ve been demoted to second confidant now.”
“Oh don’t you dare.” Mezalie rolled her eyes.
“Really though,” Vell had managed to separate out all the cords that needed to come out and stuff in all the cords that needed to go back in, “I’m glad you’re finally talking to her.” She picked up and placed the panel she’d removed to get into the cubby back where it belonged and popped it back into place. Mezalie huffed. “Shame about the timing though.”
“Yeah. It feels like such a waste that it took until now and, well, if I leave…” She shook her shoulders as Vell collected the various tools and bits of cabling left over from her fix. Neither woman said anything as they made their way back to the front of the room. Mez watched as Vell methodically placed tools back in cases and bins.
“Are you upset?” she finally asked. It felt silly leaving her mouth but she had to ask it anyway. Vell stopped where she was, frozen for a moment.
“Of course I’m upset!” The woman practically shouted her words into the cabinet. Vell looked over at her before looking back to resume her previous task. “I’m very upset. I’m gonna miss you so much.” She closed the cabinet with a soft click. “But I’m not surprised by this at all and that tells me that it’s probably the right thing, ya know?”
“I hope so.” Mez nodded to herself. “I can’t help but feel this dread though the closer we get.” She absently placed her hands on her stomach.
“That’s the seasickness, actually,” Vell said.
“Oh shut up.” Mez batted at the other woman as she passed. Vell turned back to face her, taking several backwards steps.
“Are you staying to help me with the other engine?” she asked. Mez hooked a thumb over her shoulder towards the door.
“Can’t. I’ve got grease rags that need soaking and washing,” she bemoaned.
“Alright well, like I said. Any driev now.” Vell waved her off, turning back around to make her way down the opposite corridor.
Mez stood there a moment, her hand on the door handle. She still felt the heavy dread in the pit of her stomach she’d woken up with. It wasn’t seasickness, but it probably was the fact that their arrival made her choice more real. She didn’t intend to split off from the Pod right away or anything but the realness of it frightened her as much as it thrilled her.
She opened the door and headed back out into the hall to grab her bag and take it upstairs. She had plenty of things to keep herself busy until then.
***
It turned out to be four driev more when Drenna sighted land from the roost in the vague distance. The TVE was alive with excitement as people celebrated the end of their long trip at sea. Mezalie was alerted via a half dozen frenzied knocks to her door to wake her before it was thrown open.
“Mez,” Vell sang out softly, bristling with barely contained excitement. It was Mezalie’s off shift and she’d been trying to get some sleep in an attempt to reorient her schedule before they landed. “Mez.” Vell said a bit louder as she approached. Mezalie groaned in response, rolling over in her bunk. “As requested, I’ve come with the news you've been waiting for.” Her voice was high as she barely kept it to a whisper. “We’ve spotted land.”
Mezalie untangled one of her hands from her blankets and wiggled her fingers along as she gave a sleepy cheer. Despite the sleep haze she really was ecstatic. They’d hit a small storm the nente before, just enough to get the TVE rocking, and it had been a rather miserable time for her.
“We’re a ways out still but we’re landing soon.” Vell said, reigning in her excitement to hush herself. “I’ll come back down to get you later,” she promised, quietly retreating back out the door and then it was dark and quiet in her room again.
She thought for a while that she may not be able to fall back to sleep. She turned this way and that, trying to mash her pillows into the most comfortable arrangement. As quickly as she’d thought it though she felt the comforting weight of sleep pulling her down once again.