Chapter Text
While Leona was still quietly laughing to himself, Jack turned to Ruggie. “Do you have any other information Ruggie?”
Ruggie hummed, putting his hand on his chin. “Rumor has it that Azul's study guide is the real deal. I kinda get why people would wanna get their hands on that.”
“So you guys steered clear of Azul's scheme, huh?” Jack questioned. “I figured you'd go for the easiest out you could get, Leona... Ah, no offense, of course.”
Leona snapped out of his… glee(?) to turn to Jack. “Are you kidding? Who in their right mind would voluntarily keep making deals with that swindler? I've made a few deals and paid the piper for 'em. There's always a steep catch.”
“Yeah, he ain't the kinda guy you’d wanna turn to as your first resort.” Ruggie agreed. “He's definitely a capable magician, though. He can grant some real tall orders just like that.”
“The guy who wants something outta a deal is always the one at a disadvantage. That's negotiation 101.” Leona waved his hand. “When dimwitted herbivores sign contracts on a whim, they always end up getting suckered somehow. Speaking of Ed, who taught you how to swindle like that?”
Ed shrugged. “One of my adoptive parents is a bit of a bastard.”
Leona sighed. “Ling, translate what your wife is saying please.”
“A politician, a competent politician.” Ling explained.
“That would explain it. Hey, tell me the full terms.” Leona demanded.
****
Leona mused the words in his mind. “Before the sun sets on the third day after signing…”
Ruggie sighed. “Boy... Stinks to be you.”
“Hey, we ain't even gotten started yet! Don't go jinxin' us!” The furball yelped.
“Isn't the Atlantica Memorial Museum underwater? How are you gonna get there , brainiac?” Ruggie argued.
“They gave us water-breathin' potions.” The furball countered.
“No idea how well they work, though.” Jack sighed.
“Huh. If Azul gave 'em to you, they probably work just fine.” Ruggie relented. “He's got his pride. I doubt he'd ever give someone a wonky potion.”
Leona hummed. Well, he liked Ed well enough, but he wanted to see how she got through the challenge of going underwater with a 50 pound metal leg. “Hm...I'd get the ball rollin' now, if I were you. Time is money, as they say.”
“ Myah! Good idea!” The furball cheered. “Hey, Ed, Ling, let's hit up the Atlantica Memorial Museum right now!”
“Good call. With only three days, we don't have any leeway here.” Jack agreed.
“I'm bringin' Ace and Deuce along, too. Let's mosey!” Grim ran off with Ling and Jack.
“Not going with em?” Ruggie asked.
“Nah,” Ed said. “Can’t swim. Besides, someone has to tell the teachers what's going on.”
****
They were already at the chamber before everyone else realised Ed wasn’t there. They turned to Ling in confusion, silently asking what was going on.
“Ed can’t swim.” Ling responded simply, which was a half truth. Ed could swim, just not for long with 50 pounds of metal attached to her leg, and she sank extremely quickly.
“Henchman can’t swim?” Grim asked, seemingly baffled that Ed wasn’t capable of everything.
“ Nope. ” Ling popped. “Why’re you looking at me like that?”
“It’s just…” Deuce trailed off, trying to find the words. “Hard to believe is all.”
“You sure Ed can’t swim?” Ace skeptically asked. “Like positive?”
“Yes, I’m sure. Ed can’t swim. Not for long, anyway.” Ling tilted his head. “Now are we going to drink this potion, or are we just going to stand here?”
After grumbles of agreement, Jack pulled out the potion, and everyone took a swig.
As soon as it entered his mouth, Ling had to will himself to swallow it. It tasted fucking awful. As an emperor, Ling hadn’t had many bad meals, and even Ed’s Boot Stew with boiled blood was passible. Not great, but edible (give his wife a break, look at what she had to work with!). But this…
“Whew... That was…” Deuce, now looking significantly more pale, trailed off.
“ NASTY! ” Grim yowled. “It tastes like someone mixed together dried frogs and rotten mushrooms!”
Jack briefly stopped dry heaving. “ How would you know what that tastes like?” He coughed (gagged?) “It's a... powerful flavor , all right…”
Ace stuck his tongue out in disgust. “What genius decided that potions have to taste like crud, anyway? Someone oughta fix that.”
“I’ll see what Ed and Al can do.” Ling gagged. “Fuck, that tastes awful!”
Ling felt his lungs start to… swell(?) as Deuce started talking. “Shouldn't we be more worried about efficacy than flavor? W-wait a minute. It's...getting harder to breathe…”
“Are our lungs adapting to breathing underwater?” Jack wheezed out.
“Yes.” Ling grabbed everyone. “Which means we gotta get moving.”
****
Ace jolted as the water splashed him. He knew they were going to the coral sea, but he figured he’d be on a beach or something, not in the middle of the god damn ocean.
Grim comically gurgled. “It just dumped us in the water! I'm gonna drown!”
Ling sighed. “Grim, you just drank a water breathing potion. You're fine.”
Grim abruptly stopped. “Huh? Oh, hey, you're right.”
Ace lingered his eyes on Ling's floating hair before tearing it away to look at the beautiful scenery. “Dude! Get a load of this coral reef!” Ace pointed out. “If Cater was here, he'd be hashtagging pics of it faster than you could say the word ‘Magicam’!”
Ling sighed mournfully. “Ah, now I wish my wife was here. She’d look wonderful surrounded by the colorful coral. Her gold floating hair reflecting the sunlight in a halo while she stood out amongst the fish and reef-”
“We don't have time to gawk at the scenery or daydream about Ed. We'd better get a move on and head to our target.” Jack interrupted, snapping Ling and Ace (and probably Deuce) out of their day dreaming.
“Way to kill the vibes dude.” Ace grumbled quietly to himself. “I was having a great time looking at Ling and thinking about Ed…”
“I can still hear you, you know.” Jack plainly stated.