Chapter Text
9 years ago, McClain family home.
Maria McClain rapped her fist against the door to Lance’s shared room with Marco. “Lance, let me in.” The sound of sobbing greeted her in return, dramatic and guttural. Maria sighed, rubbing at her temples. Now that Lance was a teenager, he tended to have many more big feelings. Valentine’s Day, of course, meant he felt the urge to make some sort of over-the-top confession to his current crush Lizzie.
“Go away, mom.” Oh, dear.
“Please let me in, love,” she tried again with a softer voice. “I promise I won’t judge. Just talk to me, I’ll make it better.” A heavy thump sounded from inside and she silently prayed whatever he threw wasn’t important.
“Nothing will ever make it better,” his high-pitched voice warbled back. “I’ll be alone forever because I’m a loser!”
“You’re not a loser,” Maria gasped in mock offense. “You’re my son, and if I made you, then I’d have to be a loser, too!” She heard him make some sort of goose-like honking noise. Finally, the handle lock clicked and the door crept open, giving way as she pushed it enough for her to walk through.
Lance and Marco’s room was split evenly down the middle. Marco took over the right side, with posters and figures of all his favorite superheroes. On the left, Lance’s side was much less themed. He had too many interests to count; glow-in-the-dark stars were stuck to the ceiling, rows of random books lined his shelves, and an aquarium with fish bubbled from atop his nightstand. There even was a picture of his hero, Takashi Shirogane, hanging up over the bed.
Maria watched as he stormed over to his bed and face-planted into his blue pillows. “Mmrph mmbg.”
“I can’t hear you when you talk into the bed, hijo ,” she reminded him as she sat down at the foot of it. Lance lifted his head and rolled onto his back, curly hair flying out over the pillow as his hands dragged down his face. “What happened?”
“She… she said she didn’t like me, okay?” Lance grumbled. While his tone was annoyed, Maria could spot the redness in his eyes and the dried traces of tears on his t-shirt. Lance balled up his hands on his stomach and looked at his wall as she clucked her tongue.
“I’m sorry.” She put a comforting hand on his knee, his pouting expression tugging at her heartstrings. “Lizzie was a sweet girl, and she made very good art for the student showcases. I know why you liked her so much.” Her thumb moved in circles, trying to impress her care for him into his skin.
“But I thought she liked me !” Lance whined, though he stayed still. Part of Maria wanted to be angry with this girl for rejecting her boy, which she knew was ridiculous. Lance would have to confront rejection at some point in his life, and she couldn’t protect him forever, as much as she wanted to wrap her body around his whole being and shield him from the universe. Instead, she moved her hand up to smooth back his curls, teasing out a tangle and planting a light kiss on his forehead.
“Sometimes we choose the wrong people, Lance, and that’s just part of growing up. You’re only 14, and I promise, one rejection doesn’t mean anything about you.”
“Then who is the right person?” he demanded with narrowed eyes. A laugh bubbled up in Maria’s chest, which she quickly suppressed to avoid offending her teenage son. He always did tend to ask loaded questions, even when he was just a preschooler.
“It’s not so easy to explain,” Maria began. “You’ll just know.”
“Can you at least try ,” Lance begged. “Or I’ll be heartbroken, like, fifty thousand more times!” That did draw a slight giggle from Maria, who assented with a nod.
“Alright. I’ll do my best, but be warned. You might not agree with what I say later on.”
The right person… should make you feel better after spending time together than you did before. Not for any specific reason. Their presence alone… makes you happy. Relaxed.
Present. McClain family farm.
“Lance, someone is here for you!”
Lance grunted as he dropped a large pail of water into the muddied grass, sweat dripping down his back and uncomfortably pooling in his blue shirt. He’d already been up since six in the morning, his back twinging in protest as he prepared for another day. The bright blue sky overhead only made matters worse; every chore was harder under the sun’s scorching rays.
“Is it Hunk?” Lance asked, turning around as the goats ran over to their refreshed water bucket. He prayed it was Hunk. It’d been far too long since he had his best friend’s hugs and listening ears. As he raised his head, his eyes widened, caught on a waiting figure.
“Not quite,” said a familiar voice, bemused and richly deeper than it used to be. Lance froze, eyes tracing slowly over the other boy… no, the other man standing before him.
Keith had changed as head of the Blade, and shit, did it suit him. His longer hair was tied back in a ponytail, and he’d left his dark red jacket around his waist, revealing a leanly muscled physique hardened by battle. Lance’s gaze trailed across Keith’s shoulders in total shock, finding himself looking for any sort of injury to explain his sudden visit and coming up empty. Staring complete, Lance launched himself at Keith.
“What the hell, Kogane?” he demanded, tone in stark contrast to the tight grip his arms had around his shoulders. Gasoline , he noted as his cheek pressed into Keith’s neck. Keith swayed only slightly, completely stable despite Lance’s best efforts. Sturdy bastard.
“I had to come to Earth, so I wanted to see you,” Keith told Lance, pulling away from him slightly. His cheeks were flushed, likely due to the harsh sunlight. Lance grabbed the floppy hat off his head and shoved it onto Keith’s with a little more force than necessary. “Hey!”
“You’re too pale to be walking around like that, man. Just because you saved the universe doesn’t mean the sun will give you a free pass.” He withdrew his hands as Keith pushed the hat up a little, eyes dancing with a smile that made Lance’s heart stutter.
“ We saved the universe,” he reminded. Lance rolled his eyes, looking away toward the goats.
“I know that.”
“I’m sure.”
“So why are you here, anyway?” Lance demanded as he began the walk over to his family home, Keith at his side. “Any more awards to receive?”
“Uh, not really,” Keith replied quickly, biting his lip. It was always too easy to embarrass him about media attention. Unlike the other paladins, Keith seemed to be consistently harassed long after the war was over. Pidge and Hunk had their ventures, and Shiro was happily teaching future space explorers.
Ironically, that meant Keith, who hated public speaking, was the one targeted for photoshoots, celebrations, and dinners. He tended to reject most of them— as evidenced by many disgruntled journalists— but couldn’t avoid every request.
Lance would know. A few handpicked articles were printed out in a folder on his bookshelf, neatly tucked away. They weren’t only about Keith. He had plenty of clippings about Pidge’s creations or Hunk’s restaurants, too. It just so happened that Keith was in the news more often. That’s all.
“I’m in town to see Shiro. He and Curtis wanted to discuss something pretty serious with me. They wouldn’t tell me what for,” he explained, looking disgruntled as they reached the house. “It didn’t sound like they’re in danger, but he made me come all the way to Earth and I do have a job— yeah.” Lance stopped in front of Keith to bend down and reach for the hose, noting the dryness of their flowerbeds. When he looked back at his friend, Keith was even redder than before.
“You really don’t do well in the heat,” Lance remarked. He turned on the hose and pointed the spray into his mother’s garden, taking extra care with her favorite bleeding heart flowers.
“I was the paladin of fire, and I lived in the desert,” Keith countered, gaze darting away.
“So you’ve already seen Shiro, then? How’s he doing?” It’d been a few months since they last got together. Shiro was wearing a new pair of glasses when they last hung out. That was… weirdly upsetting and comforting all at once, causing Lance to reflect a little too closely on the passage of time.
Strangely, though, Keith looked even more embarrassed.
“…I haven’t seen Shiro yet, no.” His eyes met Lance’s. They were steady as ever. The implications of that reached Lance as an echo, a distant call that he didn’t feel comfortable answering.
Instead, he moved around the flowerbeds, aiming for the tiger lilies next. “So it isn’t anything serious, then?”
“Definitely not.” Keith paused, stepping forward to stand closely on Lance’s left. “Actually, I need a favor.”
That gave Lance pause. He turned the knob on the hose handle, shutting it off and fully facing Keith with a bewildered expression. “What could I even do for you?” Instantly, Lance regretted this position, fully faced with a much-closer-than-expected view of Keith’s face with sweat beaded on his forehead and Lance’s floppy hat framing it in a way that was just unfairly adorable.
“It's something to do with the Universe Guardians Historical Society again,” Keith started, smiling as Lance’s expression shifted to disgust. “They want to turn a property of mine into a museum, for some reason.” They were all pretty familiar with the Universe Guardians Historical Society (or as Lance preferred to call them, UGHS) and its strange museums. Their main location housed “artifacts” like one of Hunk’s pans, a cloth Pidge used to wipe her glasses, and Lance’s shoe. That one wasn’t even a longtime possession. He’d just bought it when a crazed fan yanked it off his foot at an event.
Sometimes, he still had nightmares about that sneaker.
“Which property?” Lance asked. He held his hand up against the bright sky as he looked up to Keith.
“The desert shack,” Keith started, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I know we’re all grown up, but I don’t feel like I want to go there alone. And other than Shiro, who’s super busy…”
“I’m the only other person you feel comfortable asking to come,” Lance finished. Keith nodded quickly and shifted his weight onto his heels. Pride welled up in Lance’s chest and it pushed on his ribs, fluttering incessantly. He had to take a deep breath to calm himself as he tried to think the proposal through. There were plenty of other responsibilities he had to tend to. His parents weren’t as young as they used to be, and the farm was in desperate need of his hands without his older siblings. “I’m not sure if I should leave the goats in a lurch, y’know?”
Keith frowned, his eyes narrowing in that dissecting, knowing manner he always abused with Lance. They both were notorious for their walls, but when it came to Keith, Lance was on full display no matter what he said.
“When’s the last time you left?” Keith challenged. There it was.
“I leave,” Lance snapped back immediately, bristling.
“Really?” Keith raised an eyebrow, which only made Lance cross his arms.
“I shop. Groceries. Chores. The bakery in town loves me, for your information.”
“Oh, well if the bakery needs you,” he responded dryly. God, something about Keith Kogane just fueled all the most hidden, teenage parts of Lance, the way he always could draw up his temper with ease. Still….
Lance looked down at the flowerbed, at the last patch of flowers that remained unwatered. Pink juniberries tilted up toward the sun and their petals rustled daintily in a barely-there breeze. Ever present, the ache in his chest spread outward, threatening to choke him if he idled. A solid weight from Keith’s hand pressed into Lance’s shoulder, causing him to look back.
“I miss her every day.” The words were leaden as they spilled out of Keith’s mouth. “But you can’t just… stay static. That’s not who you are. It’s not what she’d want for you.”
“Maybe I’m happier than ever,” Lance countered. His tone wasn’t exactly filled with conviction, despite the words. Nervously, his eyes flicked between Keith and the flowers.
“Just come with me, this once,” Keith said, voice tight. “You can help me sort through all my teenage shit, make fun of me as much as you want. It’ll be fun. And you can come back after.”
A tempting offer. The breeze strengthened, and for a moment, Lance just… looked. A few strands of Keith’s hair came loose. There he was, standing in front of his family home just like he did in Lance’s best and worst dreams, all radiant sunshine despite being dressed head-to-toe in black. Except, this time, he was wearing Lance’s stupid hat, pleading for Lance– no, for their partnership– to pull through.
He could never say no to Keith.
“Fine! Fine. I’ll go to your stupid shack. That thing is probably musty as fuck by now, though, and you’ll be dealing with all the spiders. Not me.” He threw his hands in the air in defeat. It was worth it, with the way Keith instantly brightened.
“Thanks, Lance.” He looked around at Lance’s childhood home, taking in the yellow-painted wood, open windows, and faint smell of baked goods. “You should go tell your mom.”
“Sure, I’ll tell her.” There was a pause as Keith waited expectantly. “Oh, you mean now ?”
Keith made a “hurry up” gesture with his hand, pointing over to the door. “We’ll leave in an hour. I should probably check on Kosmo, I bet he’s terrorizing your chickens or something.” Lance squawked in response as Keith darted toward the chicken coop, leaving Lance to sputter at his doorstep.
“You always do this, you piece of shit!”
“Go tell your mom!”
With a long-suffering sigh, Lance stormed into his house, trying to impress the sounds of the steps creaking as he walked across his porch.
Nervous excitement rushed through him, and if Lance moved quicker than normal, no one was around to notice.
You trust each other with the hard parts. The things you’re embarrassed by, or scared of, in yourself. Nothing is too heavy to be shared.
Lance forgot how much he didn’t miss the arduous process of traveling. After the team had returned to Earth, there had been plenty of globetrotting. Shiro and Keith gave a bunch of press conferences, while the rest of them tagged along, playing along with the occasional ceremony or interview. It was exactly the kind of thing 17-year-old Lance would have adored, but 20-year-old Lance had found it exhausting. After saving the universe for a few years, being forced to go on a glorified press junket wasn’t exactly R&R.
Keith’s impromptu trip felt a little bit like back then: a hurriedly packed bag, a mad dash for his small spaceship with Kosmo at his heels, and an immediate takeover of aux, all happening within an hour. Suddenly, Lance was staring at the ground from far, far above, the sounds of his Roadtrips w/ the Hoes playlist echoing around them.
“You’ll be back before you know it,” Keith had reassured Lance. He observed the way Keith’s hands darted over the controls, leveling them out with ease that both suited him and was foreign at once.
“Yeah, I know.” He took the free seat at Keith’s right, kicking his feet up on the dash and looking around the spacecraft. “Cute photos.” Keith’s eyes snapped up quickly before looking back at the sky ahead.
“Uh, thanks.”
Above the windshield, Keith had taped up a couple of pictures. One of him and Shiro, one of Kosmo, one of the whole team at an Allura Day celebration, and, most importantly, one of him and Lance at a castle movie night. In the photo, Lance’s arm was wrapped around Keith’s shoulders, his wide smile a stark contrast to Keith’s muted one.
He tried not to think about that picture too much as they flew over the cloud cover, heading for the Garrison. The flight itself wasn’t too long, thanks to Keith’s fancy Blade plane. Between catching up, Lance busied himself by singing along to his favorite playlist additions, playing with Kosmo, and resisting the urge to grab the controls from Keith to veer them into a flip.
“I need a break,” Keith announced at one point, standing up suddenly and stepping away from the controls. Under their feet, the small jet lurched.
“ Whoa , Keith!” Lance lurched over in his seat, throwing aside a book he’d been pretending to read as he reached for the steering system. “You can’t just do that, man! Fuck!” Keith just smirked as Lance shoved his body into the captain’s chair. He slid into the co-pilot seat where Lance was moments ago.
“Why didn’t you just say you wanted to fly, then?” Keith raised an eyebrow at Lance.
“It’s your ship,” Lance protested. Oddly enough, the controls fit perfectly in his hands, and it was easier to fly than he’d remembered. He barely even had to look at what he was doing as they talked, instead able to admire the easy way Keith crossed his ankle over his knee.
“Never stopped you before,” Keith said, oddly relaxed.
“Well, don’t blame me if I miss a stoplight. I’m rusty.”
Keith laughed.
An hour later, they arrived, and Lance readily let Keith take control back to land his craft. As they pulled into the Garrison, several command staff were already waiting for them on the ground, including….
“Shiro!” As soon as the jet docked, Lance threw his bag over his shoulder and ran down the ramp toward solid asphalt. Shiro looked good, he noticed as he hugged his former leader. His hair had a few streaks of grey, but other than that and his glasses, he was clearly staying in shape. “Hugging you is always like hugging a house, god damn.”
“Always a pleasure, Lance,” Shiro replied with an easy expression, eyes sparkling with hidden amusement. Keith wasn’t too far behind, also greeting him with a hug. His was a little longer than Lance’s.
“Keeping healthy?” Shiro asked him, pulling away to inspect Keith.
“Yes, mom ,” Keith muttered as he shoved Shiro’s arms off him. The older man didn’t comment, gesturing for the pair to follow him toward… a minivan. Classic.
“I’m glad you could make it, Keith. Though Lance is a little bit of a surprise.” Lance clambered into the seat in the back and generously allowed Keith to take shotgun. It’d probably been months since the brothers last saw each other, and he wasn’t about to step on that.
“You didn’t tell him I was coming?” Lance punched Keith’s headrest.
“Nope,” Keith replied. “He only has one guest room anyways, so I figured we’d just share.”
Oh no. Lance had read enough romance novels to know when something had implications, and sharing a bed? Implications were written in every damn letter of that phrase. Sharing a bed . So Lance said so out loud– “Why, Keith, what a scandalous suggestion, good sir!”– and reveled in the flush of Keith’s ears as he stared out the front windshield.
“It’s not scandalous!” Keith sputtered, scrunching down in his seat when Shiro started to grin.
“We are unmarried! Good society will be aflutter!” Lance forced his tone into a posh accent reminiscent of the Alteans’.
“You can sleep on the couch.” Keith’s eyes met Lance’s in the rearview mirror and effectively shut him up.
He was no fun. Guess he’d have to put up with sleeping only a foot away from Keith’s stupid washboard abs.
The drive from the Garrison airport to Shiro’s house wasn’t long, only 20 minutes. Lance marveled at the cute house as he stepped out of the car, bag slung over his shoulder. “Shiro, damn. This looks a lot better than before.”
“Renovations were a process,” Shiro admitted in a flat tone as he walked them to the door and unlocked it. “But they were worth it.”
Unlike the other paladins who often forgot to message, Shiro made sure to keep everyone relatively in the loop about his big updates. One of which was buying a dilapidated house built at least 80 years ago, wooden and creaking. He had told them that renovations were continuing (and struggling at times) every few weeks, sharing tales of broken sink handles and copper wiring. It was honestly above Lance’s pay grade.
Now, he understood why it’d mattered so much. The outside was sweet and welcoming, painted a simple blue-grey color that helped flowerbeds pop. They almost reminded him of his own mother’s gardens, all bright blues and pinks. Walking inside was even cozier, with interiors made of dark paneled flooring, soothing blue walls, and pictures hanging in the entryway.
Lance’s eyes lingered on their team photo, then on a picture of Keith and Shiro from at least a decade ago.
“You were a cute kid,” Lance said sadly. “What happened?” He turned to face Keith, but his breath stumbled in his chest.
“Thanks,” Keith dryly remarked, haloed by the light from outside as he stood in the doorway and kicked off his boots. All of a sudden, that forbidden image crept into Lance’s mind: Keith, a little older, doing that same ritualistic action in a house they could share, with a ring on his finger and pictures just like Shiro’s– fuck. He pinched himself. Lance wasn’t a hormonal teenager anymore, and now his fantasies had turned tragically domestic, which was arguably worse.
“What are you doing?” Keith looked unimpressed.
“Going to put my stuff down, bye.” Lance rushed away from the foyer and into the kitchen, throwing his bag on the breakfast table and turning to greet Curtis. Just like the rest of the house, the kitchen was made up of blue hues with pops of color scattered throughout. A warm scent hovered over the room.
“Lance, it's nice to see you!” Curtis beamed, looking up from where he was stirring a pot on the stove. Honestly, no matter what he was feeling, Lance could never resist the urge to hug Curtis. The man was practically an angel whose hugs felt like a blanket, and now was no different.
“You too,” Lance agreed, stepping out of the hug. He peered over the edge of the pot. “Is that tomato soup?”
“This is me rescuing tomato soup.” Curtis frowned as Keith walked in, jabbing his direction with a wooden spoon. “Your brother tried to start cooking for us before picking you up. He knows he isn’t allowed to do that.”
“Hey, I wanted to do something nice!” Shiro’s voice echoed from a different room.
“Nice would be not poisoning them,” Curtis countered in return. “Anyways, the two of you can put your stuff down upstairs. Keith, you know where the guest room is, so you can show Lance the way. Dinner will be done– and edible– in ten minutes.”
Lance’s mouth watered as the oven dinged, finally discerning what scent was drifting through the kitchen. “Fresh bread?”
“Sourdough,” Curtis answered. “Now get comfortable, shoo.” He gestured with the spoon, and Lance groaned, obediently picking up his things and trodding after Keith. Traveling always left him starving, especially flying.
When they climbed the stairs, Keith opened the first door on the right into the guest room. Lance braced himself for the worst, but when they stepped into the room… there were two beds. Two small-sized beds. Keith claimed the one by the door, so Lance had to cross over to the window bed and couldn’t help but stare at the room in shock. The colors in this room were a lot lighter, with simple art hanging on each wall. Even the furniture was daintier. Curtis and Shiro had woven in pinks and purples throughout the decorations, bedding, and curtains.
Lance stared openly at Keith in shock. “Is this–”
“I don’t know why there are two beds, either,” Keith shrugged.
Okay, he had to be joking. All the signs were right there; they’d just finished a major home renovation and installed two small beds, for goodness’ sake.
“Are you joking?” Lance said aloud.
“No?” Keith said in return.
It was official. Keith Kogane, former leader of Voltron, current leader of the Blade of Marmora, and savior of the universe, was a complete moron. And Lance was somehow into that anyway. He sighed, patting Keith on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, red.” At least Lance knew why Shiro had asked to see Keith.
“I’m gonna wash up before dinner,” Lance told him, pointing to the bathroom door. “You can head down ahead of me, maybe help them set the table like a good-mannered guest.” Keith rolled his eyes, which Lance took to be confirmation that he’d do exactly what Lance suggested.
A few minutes later found all four men seated at the Shiroganes’ table while Curtis happily dished up tomato soup, roasted broccoli, and sliced sourdough. Too tired to be polite, Lance shoveled tomato soup into his mouth at rapid-fire speed, occasionally humming in appreciation. Curtis didn’t seem to mind based on the proud look that settled on his face. Keith, however, was staring at Lance with a spoon halfway to his mouth.
“Shut up, I’m hungry,” Lance snapped at him in between bites.
“Don’t rile him up, Lance,” Shiro said habitually as he ripped off a piece of bread for himself.
“I’m not,” Lance pouted, quickly distracted again by eating his soup.
“So, Keith, how was the journey to Earth?” Curtis changed the subject, looking to Keith. “I heard you guys had to deal with the Zarkonite group flaring up again. I hope things aren’t getting much worse.” Lance tuned in to hear, curious about Keith’s answer.
The Zarkonites were a group of Zarkon followers spread through the universe, occasionally emerging and causing problems on various planets ever since the war ended. Up until now, they’d mostly been disorganized and rarely in contact with one another. While they were most often made up of Galra, it was also frightening to see how many of Zarkon’s allies had been brainwashed during their reign of over 10,000 years, and many were from different races and cultures as well.
“The journey was fine, but long,” Keith said, poking a piece of broccoli with his fork. “Yes, the Zarkonites are still making themselves known… they’ve been getting a little too cohesive lately for my liking. We think they might have a new leader.”
“Hopefully you all can neutralize them quickly.” Shiro shot Keith a reassuring smile. “If anyone can do it, Keith, it’s you.”
“It’s always me,” Keith muttered. Whatever that was supposed to mean.
“Anyways, we know how busy you are, but we wanted to tell you some news before you have to deal with the shack and leave,” Curtis’ joyful expression took on a slight sheen of nerves as he spoke, his hands fidgeting with his napkin. Gently, Shiro reached over and took one of them in his, an action that sparked a small twinge of jealousy in Lance. Must be nice.
“You both seem fine.” Nervous, Keith looked between his brother and his brother-in-law, and Lance dropped his head in his hands. Sometimes, he could be oblivious; this was on a whole other level.
Shiro looked to Curtis for comfort as he began to speak. “Keith, we’ve decided to adopt a kid. And we’d like for you to be their godfather.”
Silence descended over the table thickly as Keith froze, jaw hanging open. Impatient, Lance reached over and shoved it closed himself, privately noting how his chin felt a little stubbly. “Don’t leave Shiro hanging, dude.” Keith shook his head, clearly orienting himself.
“A kid? Shiro, that’s– that’s amazing. You’ll be a great father,” Keith managed, brightening up the longer he spoke and pushing a hand through his hair. Everything in Lance wanted to do the grab-partner’s-hand move Shiro had pulled, but he resisted.
“I kind of already have experience,” Shiro pointed out with a knowing look.
“Yeah, I mean, yes. Your kid will be so lucky.” Keith’s voice sounded a little choked as he spoke, his shoulders tight with emotion. Alright, time for Lance to step in. He gently grasped Keith’s shoulder, bringing his attention over.
“So, samurai? He asked you to be the kid’s godfather, and he’s waiting on an answer,” he gently reminded him. Keith’s eyes lingered on Lance’s, brimming with a combination of excitement and fear and memories. Finally, Lance’s words seemed to settle in, and he nodded firmly toward Shiro and Curtis.
“Yes. Of course I will. If you think that’s best, I guess,” he added, his shoulder relaxing slightly under Lance’s hand. Still, he didn’t want to move it, nervous that any sudden movement would have Keith retreating into his head again.
Instantly, a soft expression took over Shiro’s face. “We trust you completely. I wouldn’t have it any other way, Keith.”
“This calls for celebration, and luckily for us, I bought a cake for after dinner,” Curtis said, meeting Lance’s eyes knowingly in a way that made him want to squirm. He removed his hand from Keith’s shoulder.
“So… have you met the kid yet?” Keith asked. The happy couple instantly lit up, launching into discussion. As it turned out, they had met her– she was in foster care with one of Curtis’ coworkers. Keith stiffened when he learned that fact. While the coworker was committed to continue fostering more children, Shiro and Curtis had quickly connected with her at a dinner they’d hosted, and the rest was history. They had met a few times after.
“We know she’ll be coming into this with a lot of baggage,” Curtis explained with a more serious tone. “But we’ll take things slow. Getting to know her has already been a pretty long, spaced-out process, and we made sure to ask her if she felt like living with us before we made the decision.”
“She loves art,” Shiro added, pointing to a cabinet. “So we got her a ton of supplies. Crayons, paper, glitter– that one might be a mistake when she throws it around the house. Who cares? We want to make her happy.”
As Lance ate the cake, it tasted perfectly sweet, strawberries and lemons mixing on his tongue. He even forced Keith to eat a few bites when he forgot, too fixated on conversation with his brother. It wasn’t long after dessert that the night wound down and they all headed off to bed, especially when Shiro reminded Keith and Lance about their early wakeup to see the shack the next day.
Though Lance tried to help with the dishes, Curtis quickly shoved him out of the kitchen and demanded he get rest. With aching bones, Lance reluctantly trudged up the stairs behind Keith, determined to do his nighttime routine even when his eyes were so tired they felt like two big bruises.
After a decent chunk of time, the two men found themselves lying down in twin beds across from one another. Lance kept feeling his toes brush against the footboard, and he was sure that Keith had it worse with his larger frame.
“G’night,” he called over to Keith as he pulled the comforter up to his shoulders. Light from the street lamps filtered in through the window above his bed, softly highlighting the lines of Keith’s body.
“Night,” Keith dittoed.
Slowly, Lance felt all the excitement of the day drain the last vestiges of his energy. He settled into the comfort of the brand-new mattress and sighed, his eyes weighed down. His hand came to rest on his pillow. Sleep started to creep through his limbs.
“Do they always do that?”
Annoyed, Lance felt his eyes flick open against his will. “What?”
“Your Altean marks. Do they always glow at night?” Keith’s voice was quiet as if he wasn’t sure of his words. Lance hoped that the darkness hid his startled expression.
“Not always,” Lance informed him, brushing a hand in front of his face. Now, he could see the teal light reflecting off his fingers. “Sorry, is it keeping you awake? I can’t control them, but I can try to sleep under a blanket, even though I’d probably suffocate.”
“No, no, they’re fine,” Keith quickly reassured him as he shifted in the darkness. “They’re honestly a little comforting? In a weird way.”
“Well, I’m glad someone is comforted by them,” Lance bitterly replied. He let his hand drop away to the mattress and burrowed deeper into his comforter.
“What, you don’t like them? I would’ve thought… well, with how much you talked about Allura….” Keith trailed off.
Lance snorted. “I love Allura. It’s just hard to be reminded of everything that happened each time I look in the mirror. Sorta like she’s asking things of me, even if she isn’t here, reminding me of her sacrifice.”
“I get it.” Keith’s voice was heavy, and Lance was sure that Keith of all people in his life would understand how he felt, even when Lance himself struggled to voice the finer details. “You know she’d want you to move on, right? I don’t think that was the point of the marks.”
“Really? Well, if you’re so wise, O Great Master of the Twin Beds, enlighten me,” Lance snarked. Who was Keith to think he knew the answer to a question that he’d been pondering ever since her absence? As if Lance didn’t inspect them, poke at them, demanding a sign or something tangible for years. There was a loud pause before Keith finally shared his thoughts.
“She wasn’t the type to demand anything, you know that. Allura… I think she was just trying to remind you that she’d stay with you. At least she left something behind.”
Lance wasn’t exactly sure what to say after that. He felt his indignation melt away, leaving behind only a cold, painful lump in his throat. In all honesty, Keith’s words held a note of truth to them.
“I only wish I could ask her myself,” Lance mumbled.
“Mm.”
“Enough about me. It's my turn to ask you a question. Only fair that we do an equal exchange.” Lance watched Keith’s prone form freeze in the shadows as if the man was holding his breath. Amusement pulled Lance’s lips into a slight smile.
“What do you want to know?” Keith finally answered, sounding hesitant.
“What was that freakout at dinner?”
“I didn’t freak out at dinner.” His response was sharp enough for Lance to doubt him. Besides, he could read Keith like a book. That scene at dinner? Textbook Kogane they’re-making-me-pilot-the-black-lion freakout.
“Uh-huh. You can’t hide shit from me, samurai.”
Another pause. Lance hated lulls, how they preyed on his anxious mind. “You don’t have to talk about it, I wasn’t trying to force you or anything, but I thought it might be nice to talk. We haven’t seen each other in a while so I get if you—“
“It’s fine, Lance.” Keith’s voice was thick. “I just wasn’t expecting it. That’s all.”
“I know why you’re scared, but you have nothing to be afraid of. Shiro wouldn’t have chosen you if he didn’t believe in you, and he’ll help you learn how to be a good babysitter.” Lance desperately tried to pull the threads of his thoughts together, hoping his words sounded somewhat coherent.
“It’s not just that,” Keith said. “I just can’t help but feel like… this could have been my life, you know? He’s making a huge difference for this girl. Makes me sad and happy at the same time.”
A thought bowled Lance over, making him still, hands gripping his blankets. “Would you ever want to adopt?”
“My lifestyle isn’t fit for a kid.” Keith’s response was far too quick.
“So you have?” Lance could picture it, clear as day: Keith, carrying a kid on his hip. Keith, holding up a toy sword pretending to battle with a little boy or girl. All the images he conjured up made his chest expand with a warm, gooey feeling, humming close to his heart. “I think you could.”
Evidence for it was everywhere. During the later years of war, Keith had been a crowd favorite among some of their younger rescuees, and he’d handled it like a champ. One time, a group of kids even climbed him like a bunch of little Tarzans. He’d just stood there, unmoving and patient as they grabbed at his hair and his armor.
“And what, give up on the Blade?” Keith’s tone took on a bitter edge. “It’s not in the cards for me.”
“It could be,” Lance pressed, leaning up on his hand and staring at Keith’s silhouette. “You know you can’t fight forever, right? Eventually, there will be no more Zarkonites, no more resistance groups. Other bad guys will come up and will need new heroes to fight them off. There are other ways to make a difference, much less time-consuming than being a full-time secret agent or whatever, and maybe those jobs would let you have a kid.”
“I know you’re scared to fight again, but that doesn’t mean it’s something I can throw aside, Lance. I have responsibility. My agents depend on me too much already, there’s no need to throw an innocent child into the mix.” Well, that landed like a stinging blow across Lance’s spine. Keith was just lashing out; Lance recognized this pattern and had seen it hundreds of times. He refused to let his hurt rise to the surface and display itself.
“Go to bed, Keith.”
“…I’m sorry. That was unnecessary. I know you’ve—”
“Go to bed.”
Lance let himself sink deeper into his pillow, turning toward the window and putting his back to Keith. Tomorrow they’d have work to do, so there was no sense in dwelling on what had just happened. It was just another tick mark in their long history of disagreements.
Plus, it wasn’t about anything new between them, even if the subject matter was unexplored territory. In all the years of their friendship, Keith had always been afraid of wanting. He rarely was bold enough to lay down roots or stake claims, terrified that the ground could be pulled out from under him and wreck it all. If the security of relative peace wasn’t enough for Keith to slow down, then Lance sure as hell had no chance of convincing him to stop moving.
It took much longer than it normally did for sleep to fitfully claim him, pulling all musings of Keith’s emotional constipation from his mind.
Hours later, his eyes pried open as he was forced awake by the agony of artificial light. He blearily blinked and pushed himself upright, groaning and rubbing his eyes. As they began to focus, he noticed Keith standing directly over him, already dressed in his dark red jacket and black pants. A pleasant smell wafted into Lance’s nose.
“Is that coffee?” His eyes fixated on the disposable cup Keith held. “I was going to yell at you for waking me up at the ungodly hour of–” Lance stretched his neck to see his phone on the side table. “ Five in the morning , holy shit.”
“I knew you’d be a little unhappy about the early wake-up, but I figured it was better to make our way to the desert shack before the sun was high and hot.” Keith apologetically passed the cup off to Lance, who snatched it out of his hands and took a long gulp.
“Cinnamon and sugar in a cappuccino,” Lance marveled, the taste lingering on his tongue. “You remembered.” He rotated the cup in his hands to see a label from Airo Coffee on the cup sleeve. Keith must have woken up at 4:00 just to buy it for him in town. He recognized the drink for what it was: an apology.
“I’m glad it’s good,” Keith responded, shoulders sloping ever-so-slightly. If it were anyone else, they wouldn’t have noticed the man’s relief. Lance had simply developed a keen eye for Keith’s tells.
“Delicious, red,” Lance promised as he swung his legs out of bed. “Now, I know that you’ll be on my case if I take too long, so I’ll shorten my morning routine just for you.”
“I’m honored,” Keith remarked, eyes following Lance as he picked up his clothes and headed into the bathroom. “Only five moisturizers instead of four?”
“I only have one moisturizer, thank you very much!” Lance said primly, reaching for the door handle. ”I also use an antioxidant, sunscreen, and sometimes an exfoliator. When do we have to leave?”
Keith pulled his hair into a ponytail, Lance tracking the movement subconsciously. His hair does look good tied up . No. Stop. Bad Lance. “We’re leaving at 5:30.” Instantly, Lance felt his face fall.
“What.”
“You have 30 minutes.”
“That’s like only half an hour.”
“It’s exactly half an hour.”
Lance huffed and shoved the bathroom door closed in Keith’s face, ignoring the way it just drew out a quiet laugh from him. “Some people might be spontaneous, Keith, but I am a man who very much appreciates advance planning and time!”
“Just get ready,” Keith called back through the closed door. Lance grumbled out his assent and set the coffee cup on a side table, beginning the walk through his routine.
Hunk and Pidge had loved to tease Lance about it when they were in space. Hunk thought it was silly how much time he spent on his skin, considering how good his mother looked in her 60s. Pidge, on the other hand, told him it was an inefficient use of time that could be spent sleeping. Surprisingly, Keith was the one person on the castleship who hadn’t laughed at it. It was something Lance thought about as he splashed water on his face, removing the last traces of sleep from the corners of his eyes.
There wasn’t a ton of stability in Keith’s life. From foster care to literal war, to even now, traveling with the Blade, he’d been constantly shifting. It made Lance wonder if he had a morning routine, a meditative practice he could carry with him from place to place.
Lance patted in his moisturizer with speed. He privately hoped Keith did have some semblance of a coping mechanism in his mornings. Maybe that was the reason he respected Lance’s daily skincare, even if he didn’t understand it himself. There was a comfort to the repetition of putting on his creams and serums before the start of the day. It was similar to putting on their armor before battle, in a weird kind of way; as much mental preparation as it was physical.
“Are you almost done?” Keith’s voice carried over as Lance finished his sunscreen.
“Just have to get changed,” Lance replied, pulling off his pajamas and tugging on his jeans.
“Okay. I’ll meet you by the van.”
Which was how, five minutes later, Lance found himself sitting passenger in the sickest minivan on Earth. After taking a sip of the cappuccino, he plopped it into the cupholder and began to plug his phone into the car system.
“Maybe I wanted to choose the music,” Keith challenged, putting a pair of aviator sunglasses on his head. Lance sent a silent prayer up that he’d get to see Keith wear them later on in their journey.
“You and I both know that’s a losing battle. Besides, I’m not in the mood for Zac Brown Band or Metallica at five in the morning.” Lance scrolled to his chill playlist and clicked play, the sounds of The Lumineers’ “Salt and the Sea” filtering out of the beige van walls. Keith turned on a little bit of air and let out a quiet scoff.
With practiced ease, he backed the van out of the Shiroganes’ narrow driveway and pulled onto the road. As they traveled, Lance alternated between humming to his music, looking out the window, and watching Keith. Small suburban communities eventually melted away to sparse houses littered throughout the desert. It was still mostly dark outside, but lamplights lent them a warm glow under the carpet of the star-flecked skies.
Lance let his head rest on the headrest and tried to savor this moment. It wasn’t often that he got to see Keith so at home in a silly minivan, one hand on the steering wheel, gloves off. Golden lamplight danced along Keith’s knuckles, emphasizing the faded scars his hands bore. His other hand was limply holding the gear shift. With a great amount of effort, Lance resisted taking his hand for the second time in under 24 hours.
A few turns later, the car crested a packed earth ledge with a metal railing. Keith parked it against the rail and pulled sunglasses out of his pocket as he leaped out of the van. “This is the closest we’ll get.”
Opening the door, Lance felt his breath catch in his chest when his eyes caught onto the view just beyond the railing. At the bottom of the hill– which was more of a dune, at the edges– sat Keith’s old shack, still shabby and brown as Lance had remembered. Only, it was much different at this time, as the sun peeked over the horizon and washed the desert in flames.
Bright orange-yellow rays caught on the sand and slid across it, painting the landscape in vibrancy and swathing the sky in dazzling color. If Lance reached out, he’d swear that the clouds would taste of citrus. While he’d never been to the shack at sunrise, something about the scene sprawling before him felt achingly familiar. Deja vu twisted at his chest and halted his movements.
“It’s nice, right?”
Lance turned to see Keith coming up to his lefthand side, expression wistful as he looked out at the desert. At that moment, Lance desperately wished he could inhabit Keith’s mind to know exactly what his friend was thinking. Rather than attempting an ill-timed mind meld, Lance settled for speaking
“Yeah, it is.”
“It reminds me of the other time we watched the desert sky, back during the war,” Keith added.
The memory pulled Lance sharply into the past, reminding him of the giddy butterflies he’d felt around not just Allura, but also Keith. War was almost over, and Lance had felt unprepared for what that meant. Sitting with Keith had been a gentle pause amidst a sea of change, as if Keith had the power to stop the waves, just for a beat. Everything about Keith had fit against the desert when they were younger. Dark strands of hair reflected the sun’s warmth, pale skin flushing under the morning. Now, though, he stood out, taller and stronger with fewer shadows at his heels.
Lance found he liked this change.
“Except this is a sunrise,” Lance pointed out teasingly, meeting Keith’s eyes. “I bet you brought me early just to see this, huh? Can’t diss the desert shack too much if I’ve seen it dolled up.”
“You caught me,” Keith laughed in a breathless voice, gaze dancing toward the shack with a shudder despite the fair temperature, causing Lance to glance there as well.
If Lance was there to support Keith, then he would do just that. Literally. No more holding back, no more missed chances. Besides, he had nothing to be afraid of, did he? It was just Keith, after all.
Lance pulled Keith’s hand into his, running a thumb along Keith’s knuckles but keeping his head turned toward the shack. Surprisingly, the other man didn’t even flinch, leaning his full body weight toward Lance and letting out a long rush of air. Instead of being awkward, Lance found that holding his hand was the most natural sensation, like wrapping himself in a jacket on a cold day as he’d done a thousand times. He realized with a sudden awareness that a couple of years ago, this wouldn’t have been able to happen. Either Keith would have jolted or Lance would have been too scared to even try.
“How did you know?” Keith asked, sounding weary before they’d even taken a step toward the shack.
“You don’t hide it well.” Heat creeped in past Lance’s flannel where his side pressed into Keith’s.
“From you, at least,” Keith admitted with a slow smile. “I was just thinking about how sometimes I forget to appreciate this, y’know?”
“Your shack?” Lance wrinkled his nose, drawing another, more real laugh from Keith.
“No, no,” Keith dismissed. “I meant… I spend so much time trying to fight all the little guys that I forget how wide the universe is. We created so much peace. Being here, with Shiro and you, it’s helping me remember.”
“Well, take it in, samurai.” Lance sucked in a large, dramatic breath through his nose and let it out through his mouth. “Let the war end, smell the roses.”
Mimicking Lance, Keith sucked in a deep breath, expanding his chest and letting it out right after. He looked lighter. His hand squeezed Lance’s, and Lance bit his lip, worried that all his emotions would show plainly on his face.
“I think I will,” Keith mumbled. He looked down at the shack with newfound determination.
“Time to create some piles!” Lance declared, gently tugging his hand free from Keith’s and clapping once. “Keep, trash, donate. We’ll put things in the garbage bags in your trunk.” Keith grimaced at that but grabbed the trash bags dutifully from his trunk anyway. He tucked the box under his arm and locked the car, starting toward the path that led down the hill.
“I don’t think we should donate this stuff, it’s probably disgusting,” Keith decided as Lance trailed after him.
“Yeah, no one wants Keith cooties either,” Lance agreed, cackling when Keith flipped the bird over his shoulder.
Hopefully, the inside of the shack wouldn’t be too gross. Lance privately tried to tuck away their slow morning with his most treasured memories as they meandered down the hill. There was Lance’s problem: his mother always said he was too nostalgic for memories as he lived them.
It’s like you’re a scrapbook or a stenographer. Just be happy in the moment, Lance.
He couldn’t help it, though. As they walked toward Keith’s old home, Lance felt the urge to take a snapshot in his mind.
He savored the peace and tried to put lingering words left unspoken out of his mind.