Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

[LizzieSS] Created Welcome to the Internet

[LizzieSS] added [Grian], [Blondboy1], [Blondboy2], [PearlM], [+ 21 others]

[LizzieSS] changed their name to [Mean Bi]

ScarGoodtimes changed their name to "Neutral Pan"

Neutral Pan: Hi Lizzie!!!! What is this?? c:

Grian: she said it was a way for me to get to know her friends

[Grian] changed their name to [Pesky Bird]

Neutral Pan: Ohhh!!! Well then, I'm Scar!!! Lizzie's best friend!! ^^

SMajor: EHEM??? 

Neutral Pan: ......One of Lizzie's best friends.....

SMajor: There we go

Neutral Pan: Your so mean to me :cccc /j /pos

SMajor: Love ya <3

Cleo: i was added cause??

[Blondboy1] changed their name to [Nice Bi]

[Nice Bi] changed [SMajors] name to [Boy Faliure]

[Nice Bi: yeha why WRER you initced???

RenDog: Yeah. Also Jimmy whats with the grammar?

Big man Joel: Hes drubnk rn

Mean Bi: I added everyone :/

Neutral Pan: Anyways!!!!! Grian, what's your favorite color???

Pesky Bird: uh

Pesky Bird: red

Neutral Pan: Cool!!! Mines orange!!! :33

PearlM: Oh I didn't see this

PearlM: Wait..

PearlM: HIIIIII GRIANNNN!!!!!!!

Pesky Bird: HI PEARL!!!!!

Blondboy2: wow timmy whuy would you betray me like this....

[Blondboy2] changed their name to [Lizzie's TRUE Favorite]

Pesky Bird: we are NOT having this debate again.

[Pesky Bird] changed their name to [Lizzie's ACTUAL FAVORITE (not martyn)]

Big man Joel: IS THAT OLI AND GRIAN I SEE??

Oli: BIG MAN JOEL 🔥🔥🔥

Lizzie's ACTUAL FAVORITE...: oh it's the shrek wannabe

Big man Joel: WHAGTDGU

Big man Joel: I MA NTO S HSREKL WNNAVE 

Thing 2: He said, "I AM NOT A SHREK WANNABE"

Lizzies ACTUAL FAVORITE...: thank you oh mysterious man 

Thing 2: fWhip!

Nice Bi: BOOOOOOO TOMATO TOMATO!!!

Thing 2: FUCK YOU JMMy

Neutral Pan: Oookayyy!! Let's be nice guys!! We wanna make a good impression for G!! <3

Lizzes ACTUAL FAVORITE...: i

Lizzies ACTUAL FAVORITE...: uhm- yeah!! thanks scar 

Mean Bi: ...

Nice Bi: ...

PearlM: ...

Lizzie's TRUE Favorite: ...

Nice Bi:  Scar.

Neutral Pan: :3

Neutral Pan: Anyways, G I'll DM you everyone names!!

[Lizzes ACTUAL FAVORITE] (not martyn) changed their name to [Pesky Bird]

Pesky Bird: thanks!

Mean Bi: .  .  .

Mean Bi: Count your days Scar Vex Goodtimes.

BdoubleO: IM TELLING CUB


Neutral Pan: WAIT WHAT JO

From [ScarGoodtimes] to [Grian]

ScarGoodtimes started a call

"Hi G!" Scar greeted, his usual friendly tone lacing his voice. 

"Hi Scar. Nice to meet you." Grian said, his voice quiet. Wow.. His voice is really pretty. Grian thought. He lied down on his bed, putting his phone on speaker. If his mom heard, he didn't care. He already convinced her that him and Megan were dating, so she won't think anything about it. If she does, well, Grian can take a couple hits.

"Ok so, RenDog is my friend Ren, Parrot is Jo-"

"He's also a parrot?"

"Yep! What kind are you? He's a Conure." Scar asked.

"I'm a Macaw. Has Liz never told you?" 

"She just mentioned you some and showed me old photos!!"

"..Did I have a Link hoodie..?"

"Mhm! Don't worry, I thought it was adorable." Scar giggled. And at that, Grian flared red immediately. 

"O-oh! Thank you! Anyways, you said something about Joey?"

"Oh, right! Let me continue." Scar continued to list off people in the group chat. 

Grian tried to listen. Of course, he caught a few names, but he mainly focused on Scar's voice. I'm screwed, aren't I?  He thought. Then, he heard a second voice come into Scar's room. 

"Coming Cub!" He told the other voice. "Sorry, I gotta go! See ya later, pretty bird!~" He teased.

"Wait, what-" 

"Byeee!!!"

ScarGoodtimes has ended the call.

"..He's going to be the death of me." Grian muttered.

Chapter Text

[Pesky Bird] changed [Oli's] name to "Match"

Match: That was ONE time.

Pesky Bird: YOU STILL DID IT.

[BigB] changed their name to [Creepy Creeky]

Creepy Creeky: What happened..-?

Pesky Bird: he started a fire

Nice Bi: WHEN????????

Pesky Bird: yesterday sam told him to do it

Match: I was getting free money grian

Match: free money.

Pesky Bird: so you just set meghans curling iron on fire???

Boy Failure: HELLO??

Boy Failure: ...

Boy Failure: Jimothy Solidarity-Shadow.

Nice Bi: ...hi love...

[Boy Failure] changed their name to [Scott (its not june yet)]

Scott (its not j...): anyways Grian can you explain wtf Oli did

Pesky Bird: alright so

Pesky Bird: sam bribed oli into setting meghans shit on fire but without a lighter. so, oli being oli, got a match and set it on fire.

Etho: Is every trans person an arsonist? 

Match: Yes (im ftm)

Cleo: yea (im trans neutral)

Thing 1: Yeah (im also trans neutral)

4'3 warrior: yep! (im also also trans neutral)

Flower Cat: SHELBY???

Parrot: LETS GO SHELBY!!!!!

purple hair and pronouns: LMAOOOOO

purple hair and pronouns: Scott Major what is my name.

Scott (its not j...): :3

Pesky Bird: OH VOID HE STARTED ANOTHER ONE.

PixR: Oh dear. May you show us a photo?

Pesky Bird sent image(1) 

PixR: Oh.

Angel: What is he even doing?? AND WHY DOES HE HAVE TWO LIGHTERS?????

Devil: Skizz, Skizz, let the man burn stuff in peace

False (NOT true): yknow i didnt know that was possible..

Pringles Man: Oli!!

[Lizzie's TRUE Favorite] changed their name to [Green Ninja]

Green Ninja: this is getting good 

"OLI!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!" Meghan yelled. However, they all knew she found it hilarious. 

Her, Eloise, and Grian were all outside, watching as Oli set some garbage on fire. He had the glow of mischief and fire in his eyes, his motive unclear. 

"It's funny don't worry Meg!" Oli giggled as he skipped up next to his sister. "Besides, Taurtis is giving me free ice cream for this!" He said, his panda tail sticking up as they watched the fire burn bright. 

"It's beautiful.." Eloise muttered, her eyes reflecting the warm and gorgeous fire. 

"Well.. What do you guys want to do next?" Grian asked, his parrot wings fluffing up behind his back. Eloise grabbed her boyfriends arm and dragged him into his house, Meghan and Grian following close behind. 

"Well, we should probably put the fire out." Meghan suggested, grabbing the hose and walking outside.

"I should tell the GC about this." Grian giggled.

"NOOO!!! Etho is already making fun of me..." Oli yelled dramatically.

"GC?" Eloise questioned. Her eyes glinted with curiosity, her voice laced with confusion.

"I'll add you!" Oli exclaimed, pulling out his phone. Just then, Meghan came into the living room. 

"What's going on?" She questioned, looking around the room.

"I'll add her too!!" Oli giggled.

Grian sighed. I love these idiots.. He thought. They remind me of the others. I hope they're doing good. Grian smiled at the memories of his cousins and sister. How Jimmy and Martyn would bicker endlessly. How his twin, Pearl, would stand on the side, adding fuel to their bickering. How Lizzie would teach him how to mediate the two. Void, he missed them. He would do anything to go back to Pratis. 

[Match] has added [SoupforEloise] and [Strawburry!!!] to [Welcome to the Internet]

Chapter Text

From [Blondboy1] to [SMajor]

Blondboy1: HEY SCOTT

Blondboy1: Whoops caps

SMajor: hi dear, do ya need smth?

Blondboy1: Hold on I hear a mertyn outside my room 

SMajor: ..i thought you guys lived in different houses?

Blondboy1: We did 

Blondboy1: But he moved in wiht us after the divorce

SMajor: i

SMajor: why???

Blondboy1: Something about, "Oh, go with my hybrid freak sibling and out of this house!!!" 

Blondboy1: And he went no contact with his dad so

SMajor: you have a shitty aunt

SMajor: anyways why is hybrid racism still a thing??

Blondboy1: idk its stupid 

Blondboy1: anywayqwiywqwchgei

SMajor: did you just get hit by an earthquake wtf

Blondboy1: HI SOCTT ITS EM LIZZEI IM TRING TO TYEO THIS WHILE RU BOYFREIND KEEPS THROUGHIGN SIHT ST ME 

SMajor: WHAT???

[Blondboy1] started a call with [SMajor]

"LIZZIE GIVE ME MY PHONE!!!" Scott heard Jimmy yell immediately after he picked up. 

"NAHH!!!" Lizzie replied, a giggle in her voice. "HEY SCOTT!! HOW ARE YOU?" Lizzie asked, still yelling.

Scott sighed fondly. What else is new? They always fought like this. That's what Scott liked about the two siblings, and really just the family in general. "I'm good. You?" He asked over all the screaming and pillows being thrown in the background. He heard Lizzie laugh again as she handed the phone off to Jimmy. 

"She's doing great." Said Jimmy, a mock anger in his voice. "..Sorry about them." Jimmy apologized, a slight sadness creeping in his voice.

"Hey, it's ok! These kind of moments is what makes me love you guys. Especially you." He giggled, teasing the cod.

"W-what! Hey!" Jimmy yelled, flaring red at the comment. At least, that's what Scott thinks he did. He always gets so flustered with just light teasing. "Anyways.. Are you free Saturday?" He asked the elf, happiness slowly creeping into his voice.

"I am. Xor is probably going to be home though, so your house works better." Scott confirmed, already knowing what his boyfriend was going to ask.

"Great! Liz and Martyn are going on a double date with their partners, and Pearl doesn't live with us-" Jimmy paused. "Sorry that was kind of obvious, wasn't it?" He said, a bit of disappointment flowing through his voice. 

"No, it's ok! You don't need to worry about anything, dear." Scott reassured him. 

"Ok, sorry, it's just-" Jimmy took in a deep breath before continuing. "Tango used to get annoyed when I stated the obvious." He said. "Oh, and Rebecca but she's a bitch sooo.." He joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"It's alright! I can see why it would get annoying, but I don't have a problem with it." Scott smiled, gently setting his phone down on his bed. "I'll come around 12:00. We can do whatever. Just keep it doen incase we get adventurous.." He giggled as he heard Jimmy make all sorts of flustered noises. 

"I hate you.." He mumbled, jokingly annoyed with the elf.

"Nah, you love me." Scott joked before ending the call. "I love that man.." He sighed fondly as Xornoth came into his room to inform him that dinner was ready.

"LIZZIE!!" Jimmy yelled as she laughed uncontrollably with Martyn. He was redder than Grian's wings as he fought for his phone from Pearl (when did she get here?). 

"My baby cousin's got a date!~" Pearl giggled, holding the phone over his head and gently flying up. Curse her and her stupid moth wings! 

"I hate you all.." He mumbled, his embarrassment fading a bit. "Wait, Pearl, why do you care?! You don't have romantic interest!!!!" Jimmy exclaimed, his tail going up as a reflex.

"Void forbid I want to know about my cousin's love life!" Pearl said, flying down and giving him his phone back. 

"We love ya Tim!" Martyn giggled. 

"Good luck on Saturday!~" Lizzie said. 

"Yeah, yeah.." Jimmy sighed and flopped down onto the couch. The rest of the evening was spent with the 3 helping Jimmy with romance advice (even if Pearl was AroAce). 

Chapter Text

hello!

yes, it’s been awhile. i’m sorry that i haven’t edited this in the past few weeks. now, dont worry, i’m still going to continue this. however, it’s being put on hold for the time being while i work on another fic. thank you guys for all the love this has gotten and i’ll see you soon. bye! :3

Chapter Text

From [Joey !!] to [Shubble 🍄🌿]

Joey !!: SEHLBY 

Joey !!: I NDEE UR LEPH

Shubble 🍄🌿: What’s up Joey? I’m always here to help you.

Joey !!: frait, aotp suing propre gramar btich

Joey !!: second, SCOTTS BORTHRE IS OS HOT AND YOUER SCOTTS BESTEI

Shubble 🍄🌿: You like Xornoth? I can help, don’t worry!

Joey !!: TAHNK YOUUU!!! LOVE YOU BOTCH!! /PP

Shubble 🍄🌿: Love you too, Joey! /p

Joey set his phone down, looking out the window of the coffee shop he was at. “I just hope Shel can keep her word..” He muttered to himself, unaware of the pink haired worker approaching from behind,

“Boo!” She said, scaring Joey into actually screaming. Luckily, it was just him as the customer and the two other workers besides Lizzie present.

“L-lizzie!! You can’t do that!” He protested, taking the iced pumpkin spiced latte Lizzie had for him. 

“What’s got you all flustered? Also, my best friend’s dad is the boss, I can scare you if I want!” Lizzie protested. 

Joey flared more red and simply didn’t respond, silently telling Lizzie to leave. Luckily, she obliged.

BAM !!! (Or, Bamboozlers Coffee Shop)

Mean Bi: sooo… i think joey has a crush 

Nice Bi: I KNEW IT

Nice Bi: ITS FLOWERS BORTHER ISNT IT

Neutral Pan: who?? i havnet met scotts brother..

Mean Bi: xornoth, he’s scott’s half brother (?)

Nice Bi: full brother! :3

Mean Bi: full brother

Neutral Pan: i see..

Neutral Pan: still never met him!!!

Gem and the Mystical Beings

Scott [it isnt june yet]: So you’re saying that joey has a crush on xor??

gnome: yep! he told me all about it :D

that one deer: damn… and you used proper grammar, right?

gnome: mhm! i never forget a promise ^^

Scott [it isnt june yet]: Please aeor, dont let xor fuck joey or vice versa

gnome: i can go find out more for you, scott :3

Scott [it isnt june yet]: PLEASE (+ i have a date with petal 2night)

gnome: okkk!! tell jimmy i said hi :DD

Scott [it isnt june yet]: Alrighty

From [Shubble 🍄🌿] to [Joey !!]

Shubble 🍄🌿: Hello, Joey! I have news about Xornoth.

Shubble 🍄🌿: First, I figured out that he’s gay! Second, he does like someone.

Joey !!: OK KO I CAN WROK WUTH THIS!!! THANKS SHE;BY UR THE BEST!!

Shubble 🍄🌿: FINALLY I DON’T HAVE TO USE PROPER GRAMMAR !! :DD

Joey !!: wait what.

Shubble 🍄🌿: um.

Joey !!: shelby.

Shubble 🍄🌿: joey.

Joey !!: WHAT DID YIU OD?

Shubble 🍄🌿: IT WAS GEM

Joey !!: EHAT HAPPENED?

Shubble 🍄🌿: OK OK SO

Shubble 🍄🌿: it was about a month ago when gem and me did a bet. if either of us wins, we had to make the ither do something. however, because of my shit luck, she won and i had to use proper grammar until you said i was the best

Joey !!: so basically 

Joey !!: i saved ur life

Shubble 🍄🌿: yes. yes you did

Shubble 🍄🌿: btw scott just dmed me n said that xornoth is free for a date on saturday sooo…

Joey !!: SAIT WAJG

Joey !!: LETS GO ILYSM SEE YA LATER BITHC!!!