Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sat/10.25 : settle a score for me would ya

if a stag fought a dog the dog would 100% win

Sat/10.28 : I 100% disagree. Stags are bigger and have antlers.

Sat/10.28 : what if it was a very big dog 

Sat/10.28 : Nope. Wouldn’t win.

Sat/10.28 : i could just tell prongs that the stranger on the internet did agree with me

Sat/10.29 : Or you could accept defeat. You’re wrong. So so wrong.

Also, Prongs? Why are you having a disagreement with a kitchen utensil.

Have you done any drugs recently?

Sat/10.29 : I AM NOT WRONG

Prongs is my best friends nickname

and are you offering?

Sat/10.29 : 1. You are wrong. 2. Prongs is a terrible nickname 3. How could I offer you drugs over a phone? 

Sat/10.29 : i still think i am right and as i been shown no qualifications from u I think my opinion matters more (this also includes the nickname prongs it has a backstory) 

and maybe your a drug dealer they do deals on their phones don’t they 

what if this is your burner phone? 

i should probably stop messaging drug dealers tho didn’t work too well last time

Sat/10.30 : I’m choosing to ignore the last three messages. I haven’t seen any qualifications from you either. How do I know you have any credentials for the decision?

Sat/10.30 : i’ll have you know i got all A’s in my GCSE’s and A levels

Sat/10.30 : I got all A’s too, but I got A pluses in my A levels. Looks like I’m the more qualified. 

Sat/10.30 : maybe just maybe you could be more book smart but i’m definitely more street smart  

i’m like super cool

Sat/10.30 : Sure you are. 

And maybe you could possibly maybe be more street smart but how does that give you more qualifications in animal fighting?

Sat/10.30 : maybe i’ve fought with some myself? how about that?

Sat/10.31 : Have you?

Sat/10.31 : there was this one time with a snake but i don’t feel like sharing that intimate story with a stranger on the internet

what if you have some sort of animal kink?

Sat/10.31 : Well I want to know now. Not because I have an animal kink. Are those a thing? But I’m curious.

Sat/10.31 : they’re definitely a thing

and okay but i'll need some personal details to trade for the story

Sat/10.31 : Sure, and just in case you’re trying to hack my bank account or something, you’re not going to find anything so. Tough luck buddy. 

Sat/10.31 : i’m not trying to hack you

yet 

Sat/10.31 : Well that sounds perfectly safe. what do you want to know?

Sat/10.31 : i didn’t think this far ahead 

i didn’t think you’d just go with it 

um let me think 

Sat/10.32 : Take your time.

Sat/10.33 : okay age?

Sat/10.33 : 18 

Sat/10.33 : ME TOO 

Sat/10.33 : WOW THAT IS SO SICK

Sat/10.33 : that made me uncomfortable 

Sat/10.33 : Me too.

Sat/10.33 : pronouns?

Sat/10.33 : he/him

Sat/10.33 : me too again!

if your wrong about this one too i will stop messaging u

Sat/10.33 : Whatever will I do?!

I’m deeply saddened if you couldn’t tell the tone of my message. 

Sat/10.33 : sure pal 

best animal between a rat a stag and a dog 

if it helps the rat and stag are super mean and bite and kick and punch 

Sat/10.34 : I mean I was going to say dog but you started talking up the others so much, I’m going rat. They get a bad rap.

And they punch, I mean that’s impressive.

Sat/10.34 : that’s it no more messaging for you i guess 

and rats get a bad rap for a reason they’re icky 

Sat/10.34 : gosh diddly darn it 

My hearts never going to get over the loss of you. This one random guy that messaged me once. 

Sat/10.34 : i get that your being sarcastic 

but you are absolutely correct

you’ll never get over the loss of what could of been 

Sat/10.34 : Is this the no more messaging?  

Sat/10.36 : Struck a nerve did I? 

Sat/10.39 : You broke the deal though. You promised me the snake story. 

Sat/10.40 : fine since you couldn’t go ten minutes without messaging me

i hereby retract my previous statement of not messaging you

Sat/10.40 : Snake story? 

Sat/10.40 : so me and my brother were at this zoo it had snakes if you didn’t guess 

and they did this thing where you could pet them 

so we both got in the queue 

i was first obviously being the oldest and best 

when it was my turn I guess the snake had had enough with sweaty kids touching it 

so it slithered out of the snake person’s arm and into mine 

Sat/10.41 : and i was freaking out at this point and the stupid snake person wasn’t doing anything to take it off me 

so i took matters into my own hands

Sat/10.41 : that doesn’t sound good 

Sat/10.41 : it really wasn’t 

i handed the snake to my brother who joined in freaking out 

he did it a lot less gracefully however flinging his arms around. A lot. A lot a lot.

this did get the snake person’s attention who came to try and take it off him

but not before it started copying my brother flinging its self around 

AND INTO ME 

Sat/10.42 : and i got knocked to the ground by the snake 

IT CHIPPED MY TOOTH TOO

and that was my super intense scary experience with the snake 

Sat/10.43 : I don’t know what to say. 

Sat/10.43 : say you like dogs the best

Sat/10.43 : I like dogs the best. 

Sat/10.43 : OMG  

YOUR COMPLETELY RIGHT 

YOUR AMAZING 

Sat/10.43 : Does this mean I’ve earned a question? 

Sat/10.43 : ask away 

Sat/10.44 : What’s with all the animals?

And I like a dog as much as the next person, but you’re a very strong dog person. Why? 

Sat/10.44 : I’m glad you asked 

I have these two best friends and we went to a psychic

for the fun you know 

Sat/10.44 : No I don’t? I’m normal.

Sat/10.44 : normal shnormal 

anyway this psychic told us our spiritual animal based on our aura’s 

one of my friends got a stag 

the other got a rat 

Sat/10.44 : And let me guess. You got a dog? 

Sat/10.44 : Ding Ding Ding 

you’re correct 

Sat/10.45 : that was like two years ago and since then we’ve kept a tally on who has the best animal 

Prongs is in the lead but only by a few and wormy is very far behind

Sat/10.45 : I mean prongs is bad but, Wormy?  

I mean that’s an insult is it not? 

Wait does this mean you have one too? 

TELL ME.

wait no,

I’ll guess.

Sat/10.46 : i was explaining? 

Sat/10.46 : You’ve gotten me distracted. 

Snoopy?

Sat/10.46 : i’m carrying on 

not snoopy 

and so i’m hoping that you a stranger on the internet with good grades will get me a few points so i'm equal with prongs

Sat/10.46 : Fine. You can use me for points. 

I thought we had a real connection. 

And it was all fake. Just for some points. 

Wow. 

Goofy?

Sat/10.46 : NO 

WE DO HAVE A CONNECTION

IT WAS ALL REAL TO ME  

and definitely not goofy 

your not going to get it 

Sat/10.47 : I will get it. Don’t doubt me. 

The internet stranger you had one conversation with. 

Clifford? 

Sat/10.47 : do you want some help? 

Sat/10.47 : Do I have to give more person information in return? 

Cause I will. I have very little self preservation. 

Sat/10.47 : it kinda sounds like ur trying to brag about that 

and yes you will 

three more questions for a clue 

Sat/10.47 : Again, seems completely safe. 

Sat/10.47 : name? 

Sat/10.47 : I feel like this is a very big question for a clue for your nickname. 

How about no. No, I’m not telling you. 

Sat/10.47 : fineeee 

nickname then? 

Sat/10.47 : Don’t have one. 

I mean sometimes my friend will call me variations of my name. 

But unfortunately I don’t have a nickname based on my spirit animal. 

Sat/10.48 : IVE GOT MY NEXT ONE 

will you take a quiz to find your spirit animal? 

Sat/10.48 : You know what sure. Why not?

Sat/10.48 : YAYY  

Do you want me to find you a quiz? 

Sat/10.48 : Yeah sure. 

Sat/10.50 : okay i found one 

question one   

your moral alignment 

neutral good, neutral evil, lawful good, lawful evil, chaotic good, chaotic evil 

Sat/10.51 : At the moment I’m saying..

Chaotic good.

Sat/10.51 : okay next question 

if some one said something mean to you would you

ignore them, insult them back, laugh, tell them they weren’t being very nice, punch them, tell your friends

Sat/10.52 : Ummm I think I would either insult them back or tell my friends.

I don’t know which.

You pick one. 

Sat/10.52 : done 

next question

where would you like to live 

a forest, a beach, the mountains, a city, the countryside, somewhere cold

Sat/10.53 : The countryside I think. 

Sat/10.53 : good choice next 

pick a food to eat

pizza, burger, salad, sushi, steak, pasta 

Sat/10.53 : I’m vegetarian at the moment 

So I’m going pasta. It’s so tasty 

Sat/10.53 : pasta is the best 

next question!!! 

Do you believe in true love 

no, yes 100%, definitely for some people, it’s better to love once than never at all, maybe, no it’s all made up 

Sat/10.54 : How is this picking me a spirit animal? 

I guess maybe. I’m not sure. 

Sat/10.54 : yeah sorry got abit deep

for what it’s worth i agree with you

like prongs swears he has found his one true love

it’s kind of crazy 

anyway next question

pick a breakfast 

waffles, pancakes, full English, cereal, toast, weird healthy one 

Sat/10.54 : Is weird healthy one the actual answer? 

Sat/10.55 : it’s got a picture it’s green and has stuff on it 

Sat/10.55 : ew 

Sat/10.55 : exactly 

Sat/10.55 : I’ll go full English then, it’s the best. 

Sat/10.55 : eh it’s alright 

Sat/10.55 : How dare you.

Take it back.

Sat/10.55 : SORRY YOUR HIGHNESS IT IS THE BEST THING TO HAVE EVER GRACED MY TONGUE

Sat/10.55 : Better. 

Sat/10.55 : last question 

pick a colour 

red, green, yellow, blue, pink, orange 

Sat/10.55 : I don’t like any of those colours 

Sat/10.56 : WHAT DO YOU MEAN 

Sat/10.56 : They’re all too bright 

Sat/10.56 : then think about a muted version of it then 

if you have to 

Sat/10.56 : Green 

Sat/10.56 : ewwww 

Sat/10.56 : what do you mean Green is ew

Sat/10.56 : in high school we had houses and green was called Slytherin, they’re awful and therefore now I will always hate the colour 

Sat/10.56 : Slytherin. 

Did you go to Hogwarts? 

Sat/10.56 : HUH WHAT 

HOW DO U KNOW THAT 

WHAT 

Sat/10.56 : Someone I know went.

And before you ask I’m not telling you.

Sat/10.56 : FINE I GUESS 

ITS ALL SUPPER OAKY 

Sat/10.57 : supper oaky

Sat/10.57 : shut up you knew what i meant

and the answer is ready 

you my good sir are 

A WOLF 

HA 

Sat/10.57 : Have fun coming up with a nickname, I’ve got class now.

Tell me once you work it out.

Sat/10.57 : Have a good class wolf boy

nope that’s terrible 

lupus 

noo lupussy

sorry got distracted 

werewolf 

awoo

Sat/10.58 : what do werewolf’s like 

biting 

bitty mcbiterson

um 

im going to class to now 

be ready later 

bye wolf boy 

Sat/15.02 : You got a nickname yet pups? 

Sat/15.09 : pups what am i five?

Sat/15.09 : It could have been that.

Sat/15.09 : it’s not thankfully 

and i do thanks for asking moony 

cause werewolves

Sat/15.09 moony : I got it thank you. 

But I don’t hate it.

Sat/15.09 : that seems like high praise from you

Sat/15.09 moony : It is. 

Do I get my clue now?

Sat/15.09 : yes you do 

two syllables and begins with p 

Sat/15.09 moony : puppy 

Sat/15.09 : no 

Sat/15.10 moony : Pupford 

Sat/15.10 : no nothing do do with pup 

Sat/15.10 moony : how was your class, while I think.

Sat/15.10 : it was fine 

i made a mug it’s a bit wonky but

oh well

Sat/15.10 moony : So pottery? Potty? 

Sat/15.10 : yes pottery 

not potty that’s awful 

Sat/15.10 moony : As awful as Wormy. 

Sat/15.10 : it’s short for wormtail

Sat/15.10 moony : And that’s better how?

Sat/15.10 : idk it just is 

Sat/15.11 moony : Okay I believe you. 

Sat/15.11 : was that sarcasm? 

Sat/15.11 moony : Never.

Sat/15.11 : ofcourse sorry

so how was your class moony? 

wait let me guess 

English something

Sat/15.11 moony : That could be correct.

English Literature

And it was alright we’re doing Virginia Woolf 

Sat/15.11 : WOLF 

Sat/15.11 moony : Yes, well done. 

My professor is so boring though. 

Sat/15.11 : can’t relate i love my professor she’s awesome 

Sat/15.11 moony : Lucky. 

Sat/15.11 : very 

Sat/15.12 moony : What can I do for another clue? 

Paddy 

Sat/15.12 : i don’t think you’ll need one you are very very very close

Sat/15.12 moony : Wait I am.

Ummmm 

Pad something

Sat/15.12 : YESS 

Sat/15.13 moony : AH  

I’m getting stressed 

Padtail 

Sat/15.13 : no 

but it is a body part of a dog 

do dogs have body parts 

they do 

i’m 76% sure they do

Sat/15.13 moony : They do padnose.

Sat/15.13 : your getting worse with guesses i’m pretty sure 

Sat/15.14 moony : No I'm not padleg.

Sat/15.14 : fraid not moony 

Sat/15.14 moony : pad head

pad shoulder

pad knees

pad toes 

Sat/15.14 : are you doing that song 

Sat/15.14 moony : Well done I am pad feet.

Sat/15.14 : WAIT 

YOU GOT IT

YOUR SO CLOSE 

Sat/15.15 moony : PADFOOT 

Sat/15.15 padfoot : i feel like a proud parent

Sat/15.15 moony : Padfoot? Why?

Sat/15.15 padfoot : I’ll tell you another time 

if in two weeks we’re still messaging and you still want to know then I’ll tell you 

Sat/15.15 moony : Does this mean I’ll have to message you for two more weeks?

Sat/15.15 padfoot : YES

my plan all along

to keep you  

Sat/15.16 moony : Alright then Padfoot,

You better be ready to share that story.

Sat/15.16 padfoot : can I take it back?

Sat/15.16 moony : nope. 

never.

Sat/18.34 moony : My best friend that went to Hogwarts says I have to ask that you’re definitely not an old man predator 

So are you?

Sat/18.35 padfoot : i mean i could be 

if i wanted to

but unfortunately im not 

Sat/18.35 moony : What do you mean you could be?

Sat/18.35 padfoot : i’ve got a long beard in my wardrobe

and a bald cap 

Sat/18.35 moony : Any reason? 

Or just for fun? 

Sat/18.35 padfoot : i mean the reason was pretty fun 

Sat/18.35 moony : ??

Sat/18.35 padfoot : the headmaster there had a really long beard and so we dressed up as him for a week 

Sat/18.36 moony : like for Halloween?

Sat/18.36 padfoot : no? 

Sat/18.36 moony : ofcourse not sorry 

So are you in the UK then?

Sat/18.36 padfoot : yep i live just out of london

Sat/18.36 moony: No you don’t. 

Sat/18.37 padfoot : pretty sure i do 

Sat/18.37 moony : me too 

Sat/18.37 padfoot : WAIT THATS SO COOL 

If i tell u my city will u come murder me?

Sat/18.37 moony : I mean, probably not but you never know. 

Sat/18.38 padfoot : well that sounds reasonable

i live in this town called Nockturn

Sat/18.38 moony : Shut up, me too.

Sat/18.38 padfoot : you ever been to ollivanders?

Sat/18.38 moony : The club?

You’ve been messaging me for almost a whole day. Do I sound like a parting kind of person?

Because if I do I’ve been doing something wrong.

Sat/18.38 padfoot : don’t get ur knickers in a twist 

i was just asking you don’t really seem like a frat boy

Sat/18.39 moony : you 100% sound like a frat boy,

you prongs and wormtail.

pretty sure you’re a gang,

or cult,

but I’m not judging.

To each their own.

Sat/18.39 padfoot : ITS NOT A GANG 

OR A CULT 

we’re just very close friends 

like siblings 

but ones that don’t argue 

ever 

Sat/18.39 moony : yeah it’s ’definitely not a cult’ 

those were air quotes,

in case you didn’t know.

And what do you mean you don’t argue ever? 

What about over stupid stuff? 

Sat/18.39 padfoot : ITS NOT

and idk we just work it out by talking I tell them everything so there is never anything to argue about 

Sat/18.40 moony : that sounds very healthy 

Sat/18.40 padfoot : it is 

what about you and your friends

Sat/18.40 moony : We argue all the time 

It’s how I show my love 

Arguing and food

Sat/18.40 padfoot : that sounds 

healthy too? 

Sat/18.40 moony : it works for us 

Sat/18.41 padfoot : since you know all of my closest friends wormy and prongs 

what about you? 

you can give them nicknames if you want to talk about them without names

Sat/18.41 moony : Sure. 

My best friend in the world lets call her carrots.

She’s amazing, she’s there for me through everything always and I love her for it. 

Sat/18.41 padfoot : she sounds like she’s to you what prongs is to me. 

Sat/18.41 moony : he sounds amazing. 

Sat/18.41 padfoot : he is 

Sat/18.41 moony : And there is um

Nickname???

Fields 

She is just as amazing as carrots and I love the both of them 

Fields girlfriend hangs out with us too but I’m not as close to her. 

She’s a bit of a knob so I’ll call her that. 

And she’s rude to Fields so I’m hoping they’ll break up soon. 

Is that bad?

Sat/18.41 padfoot: it’s not bad that you’re looking out for your friend 

and i feel like you are not a judgy person so they must be a knob 

fields  sounds very awesome too 

Sat/18.42 moony : She is.

And thank you, for saying that. 

I appreciate it.

Sat/18.42 padfoot : course moony 

i’m going to eat 

i’ll message u later? 

Sat/18.42 moony : Sure padfoot. 

I’ll message you later. 

Sat/22.08 padfoot : I NEVER GOT MY THIRD QUESTION 

Sat/22.08 moony : Ask it then

Sat/22.08 padfoot : since I told you my snake story i think I should get an embarrassing childhood story in return? 

Sat/22.08 moony : You know what fine. 

Sure. 

Let me think. 

Sat/22.09 padfoot : okay moony

Sat/22.10 moony : So this was a long long long time ago when I was like four or something,

Me and my mam were out for a walk and we came across this field, she said we should go in. 

I didn’t want to because I thought the grass was too long and I’d get lost.

Sat/22.10 padfoot : baby moony sounds adorable 

Sat/22.10 moony : yeah I was, 

Anyway we did go in to the field and I did get lost, I chased after a bunny I saw. 

When my mam found me again I was in the rabbits hole, and they had all adopted me. 

There were like seven bunnies all around me crawling over me.

Sat/22.11 moony : What can I say I am the animal whisperer unlike you and your snakes. 

Sat/22.11 padfoot : bunnies seem a bit cuter than snakes 

and awwwww 

thats adorable 

and amazing 

and a very good bedtime story

night moony 

Sat/22.11 moony : Goodnight padfoot,

Don’t let the bed snakes bite.

Chapter Text

Sun/6.24 padfoot : MORNING MOONY 

Sun/6.48 padfoot : not a morning person?

Sun/7.23 padfoot : awake yet sleeping beauty? 

Sun/8.03 padfoot : really? I thought you were the more sensible one 

Sun/8.27 padfoot : guess not 

Sun/8.56 padfoot : I’m going into the art studios 

wake up soon sleepy head 

Sun/10.23 moony : awake

i am 

up 

raring to go

face the day 

Sun/10.24 padfoot : you sound it 

what happened to the punctuation

you have terrible grammar 

Sun/10.24 moony : How dare you. 

Take it back. 

Sun/10.24 padfoot : SORRY 

YOUR A GREAT ENGLISH STUDENT EVEN IN TEXTING 

Sun/10.24 moony : *you’re 

And I am thank you. 

So you have classes on Sunday? 

Sun/10.24 padfoot : no i was just finishing off my work from last week

what about you any plans?

Sun/10.25 moony : Carrots is forcing me to go to this museum,

I’m actually excited but you can’t tell her I complained a lot.

Sun/10.25 padfoot : why do i get the feeling u do that a lot? 

Sun/10.25 moony : Complain?

never.

I can’t believe you’d accuse me of that. 

Sun/10.25 padfoot : sorry moony i’ll never do it again

i can’t believe myself 

so so sorry 

Sun/10.25 moony : I’ll think about accepting. 

Are you still at your art studios? 

Sun/10.25 padfoot : why you want to come? 

Sun/10.26 moony : You know what, I think I’m alright. 

Sun/10.26 padfoot : no im walking home from there

OOO 

bagel shop 

Sun/10.26 moony : what are you getting? 

Sun/10.26 padfoot : cream cheese and salmon 

Sun/10.26 moony : I guess that’s okay. 

It’s no breakfast bagel. 

Sun/10.39 padfoot : sorry was eating 

it’s amazing and way better than any breakfast bagel 

Sun/10.39 moony : agree to disagree 

Sun/10.39 padfoot : okay I guess 

when are u going to the museum?

Sun/10.39 moony : two I think.

I’ve got the whole morning free, 

I’m not going to do anything but I could so. 

Sun/10.39 padfoot : got a job? 

Sun/10.39 moony : is this twenty questions? 

Sun/10.40 padfoot: sure it could be 

Sun/10.40 moony : just checking.

Yeah I do,

I work in the cafe at Waterstones.

Sun/10.40 padfoot : that seems like such a you thing 

Sun/10.40 moony : yeah it is,

I love it. 

My question then, do you have a job? 

Sun/10.40 padfoot : I don’t prongs is my sugar daddy 

and that’s so boring you can’t just ask the same questions back

Sun/10.40 moony : SORRY 

Sun/10.40 padfoot : I’ll accept it 

i will be going straight to the difficult stuff so just tell me to piss off if it’s too much 

Sun/10.41 moony : OH? 

Okay I guess? 

Sun/10.41 padfoot : family issues? 

Sun/10.41 moony : Straight to it. No taking me for dinner first? 

Sun/10.41 padfoot : ooo i take it back dinner first 

Sun/10.41 moony : nope too late,

And yes lots of family issues with my dad. 

Original.

My question then, get ready. 

Sun/10.42 padfoot: i’m scared now 

Sun/10.42 moony : don’t be scared,

it’ll allll be over soon. 

Just. Don’t. Turn. Around. 

Sun/10.43 padfoot : I need u to message me right now because I just heard a noise behind me and I can’t look.

THIS ISNT FUNNY MOONY 

DO YOU KNOW MY ADRESS 

Sun/10.43 moony : Calm down. I’m not actually in your house behind you. 

If I was I wouldn’t tell you it, it would ruin the whole thing. 

Sun/10.45 moony : you okay? There wasn’t actually someone in your house, cause that would be very incriminating for me. 

Sun/10.47 padfoot : no it was just prongs 

I maybe sorta jumped at him with a frying pan and we both started screaming 

I told him it was ur fault and now he likes u 

how does that make sense 

then he went on a rant about the girl that he’s in love with 

and now im back hi moony 

Sun/10.47 moony : hi padfoot,

Sorry for scaring you. 

Sun/10.47 padfoot: it’s ok 

i guess 

prongs burst out laughing at me 

which wasn’t  ok moony 

very not ok

Sun/10.47 moony : well it’s my turn for a question. 

Sun/10.48 padfoot : ask away

Sun/10.48 moony : siblings? 

Sun/10.48 padfoot : one and a half 

Sun/10.48 moony : can I ask for an explanation? 

Sun/10.48 padfoot : you can 

I have one biological brother and one none biological brother I’d say they both count 2/3 of a brother for different reasons 

Sun/10.48 moony : Thanks for telling me. 

Your question now. 

Sun/10.48 padfoot : what’s your mum like? 

Sun/10.49 moony : Her name’s hope, and she’s exactly that. She gives me hope to end up like her instead of my dad. And I love her so much. She’s one of the best people I know. Her carrots and Fields.

She gives the best hugs and makes the best food. 

She lives in Wales though so I don’t see her super often, I’ll see her at Christmas, so I’m very excited for that. 

Sun/10.49 padfoot : she does sound amazing 

Sun/10.49 moony : She is.

Alright my turn again. 

How did you meet prongs? 

Sun/10.49 padfoot : We met the first day of Hogwarts on the train. 

i was absolutely shitting myself because i was going away from my brother who had been my only friend 

and it’s a boarding school so i wouldn’t see him for a while and then I spotted this boy with the messiest hair ever and his glasses on wonky with the biggest smile

it was one of the best days of my life 

Sun/10.50 padfoot : and that was it we were best friends immediately 

we met wormy later and it was the same with him 

we were the best of friends

still are 

Sun/10.50 moony : Wow. 

Sun/10.50 padfoot : yep 

MY TURN AGAIN

Worst date ever 

Sun/10.50 moony : this girl asked me out we were in year ten so like fifteen, and she asked me to this ice cream place 

I’m guessing her family owned it because THEY WERE ALL THERE 

All of them, both her parents about four of her older siblings, a few younger ones too, her grandparents as well, pretty sure there were aunts and uncles too. 

And I ordered my ice cream and asked if she wanted to go on a walk, BUT THEN before she could answer her dad put his hand on my shoulder and asked if we could have a chat. 

Sun/10.51 moony : He was like 6’8 or something, it was terrifying, and he pulled me over and held both of my shoulders and threatened me, saying if I did anything to his daughter that he had very strong arms from all the scooping. 

Sun/10.51 padfoot : HA OMG 

Sun/10.51 moony : And I’m not finished yet. I just nodded, a lot, because I was so scared and we left the ice cream shop. She kept talking at me, I wasn’t saying anything, I didn’t want to offend her somehow and have her dad beat me up. 

And I was so distracted I fell in the fountain. 

Sun/10.51 padfoot : IM SOBBING 

how is one person so unlucky

Sun/10.51 moony : I have no idea. 

And then I got out the fountain and she tried to take me back to the ice cream shop to clean me up. 

I ran home. 

And that was my worst date ever. 

Sun/10.52 padfoot : oh god 

i feel so bad for mini moony

Sun/10.52 moony : I think I should have my question so we can forget all that. 

Sun/10.52 padfoot : i will never ever forget that story 

Sun/10.52 moony : Me too. 

So, your biggest fear padfoot? 

Sun/10.52 padfoot : there’s a few 

i hate clowns, small spaces, being alone, snakes obviously, my mum and the sea. 

those are just the big ones 

Sun/10.53 moony : They all seem pretty reasonable. 

Why the sea? 

Sun/10.53 padfoot : my biological brother hated it too 

we went swimming once in France and the sea was really strong and he almost got swept away 

i got him back but that was the last time i went in

i was ten and he was eight 

Sun/10.53 moony : That sounds horrible, and I’m sorry you went through it pads. 

Sun/10.53 padfoot: pads? 

Sun/10.53 moony : Oh I’m sorry I didn’t notice.

Sun/10.53 padfoot : don’t be sorry i liked it 

and now i get two questions too

what did your dad do to make you have issues? 

Sun/10.54 moony : I can tell you some, but the rest I’ll tell you when you tell me about the name padfoot, two weeks. 

You need an incentive to keep messaging me too. 

Sun/10.54 padfoot : maybe i just like messaging you  

Sun/10.54 moony : another reason then.

When I was five my dad did a really really shitty selfish thing that ended up hurting me. 

I know he’s felt bad about it, but him feeling bad about it made him distance himself from me. Which is another shitty selfish thing. 

He’s never properly apologised or even addressed what happened. I’m not sure if he would do it again if he had to. I hope he wouldn’t but I don’t know. And I think that makes me perfectly reasonable for disliking him very strongly. 

Sun/10.55 moony : I don’t think I could hate him ever. Even when he did what he did, he’s still my dad and I can remember him before he did it and he was the perfect dad. 

And that’s it. 

Sun/10.55 padfoot : you are perfectly reasonable for disliking him

you’d be perfectly reasonable for hating him too

and you definitely don’t need to tell me ever 

Sun/10.55 moony : I’ll take it into consideration. 

Your second question? 

Sun/10.55 padfoot : what’s your go to take away?

Sun/10.56 moony : this is the most difficult question yet,

the others have been super straight forward and easy.

Umm if i had to only pick one,

A chippy.

I’m a simple man. I like the basics. 

Sun/10.56 padfoot : that is too basic though what about Chinese or Thai 

you said your mum lived in wales r u welsh? 

cause the chips would make sense then 

Sun/10.56 moony : first of all how dare u insult fish and chips,

And Wales. 

I am Welsh, only moved to England this year for Uni. 

And the English love chips just as much as us. 

Sun/10.56 padfoot : sure we do 

wait does that mean u have a Welsh accent!!!!!!!?

Sun/10.57 moony : I do have a Welsh accent.

Why are you so excited about that? 

Sun/10.57 padfoot : accents are hot 

Sun/10.57 moony : thank you? 

Sun/10.57 padfoot : your welcome moony x

Sun/10.57 moony : what’s this x 

Sun/10.57 padfoot : it’s a kiss 

Sun/10.57 moony : I got that, but why?

Sun/10.57 padfoot : because we’ve decided that ur hot so I’m turning on my charm x 

Sun/10.57 moony : turn it off again. 

And we did not decide that I’m hot, you decided my accent was. 

Before you’ve heard it. 

Sun/10.58 padfoot : is that in invitation to hear it ;) x 

Sun/10.58 moony : immediately no 

Sun/10.58 padfoot : what’s wrong moonbeam ;)) xxxxx 

Sun/10.58 moony : this is terrifying. 

I feel attacked. 

Sun/10.58 padfoot : what can I do to fix that ;) ;) ;) ;) xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sun/10.59 moony : YOU CAN STOP RN 

Sun/10.59 padfoot : abbreviations and capital letters :o 

you’ve lost the plot 

i think i’ll have to stop for ur safety

Sun/10.59 moony : My safety appreciates it. 

Sun/11.00 padfoot : I just got home 

wow that was actually perfect timing

Sun/11.00 moony : proud of you. 

Sun/11.00 padfoot : I’m going in and hoping i can give prongs his cold bagel I picked up for him 

message me when u and carrots are going out and I’ll wish u luck 

on that super boring museum trip that your totally not excited for

Sun/11.00 moony : Okay I’ll message you,

Tell prongs I hope he enjoys his bagel. 

He seems super cool. 

Wish he messaged me braging about how awesome stags are. 

Sun/13.46 padfoot : IM SUPER COOL MOONY

PRONGS IS OKAY 

IM WAY SUPERIOR TO HIM

IN MOST THINGS MAYBE HES TALLER AND MORE ATHLETIC 

BUT I HAVE BETTER HAIR

Sun/13.47 moony : I don’t know what to say, I just like tall athletic people more than short people with nice hair. 

Sun/13.47 padfoot: my hair is not nice. 

It’s the best. Of all hair.

Sun/13.47 moony : nothing to say about being short? 

Sun/13.47 padfoot : i have awesome hair

Sun/13.47 moony : you are short aren’t you!!! 

How tall are you? 

Sun/13.47 padfoot: I’m average height 

Sun/13.48 moony : Google says average height for an eighteen year old man is 5’9 and a half. 

Are you 5’9 and lying about the half? 

Sun/13.48 padfoot : I’m not lying there is another half so if you round I’m basically 5’10 

Sun/13.48 moony : Sure you are pup. 

Sun/13.49 padfoot : why don’t u share with the class then? 

how tall r u?

Sun/13.49 moony : 6’5 

Sun/13.49 padfoot : oh 

HA tree

imagine knocking ur head on doors 

Sun/13.49 moony : You wouldn’t be able to. 

Short. 

Sun/13.49 padfoot : we’ve already decided that I’m average so 

Sun/13.50 moony : averagely short. 

Sun/13.50 padfoot : did you not listen about my hair I’ll describe it for u cause u asked really nicely 

like shoulder length and wavy 

black and sometimes blue in cool lighting

Sun/13.50 moony : oh 

no that’s neat

cool

Sun/13.50 padfoot : HA I was right it is awesome hair 

i made u forget punctuation with my hairs awesomeness

Sun/13.50 moony : I was just remembering that you’re the size of my garden gnome back home. 

Sun/13.51 padfoot: LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT MOONY 

Sun/13.51 moony : your hair is awesome.

Sun/13.52 moony : you okay there?

Sun/13.53 moony : I’m going to get ready,

Message me once you’ve recovered. 

Sun/13.55 padfoot : sorry moons 

apparently i can’t take compliments

i had to go fan myself and sit by the open fridge 

im sure ur hair is AWESOME too

Sun/13.56 moony : Carrots is here now and she’s hounding me to get ready. 

What am I meant to wear to a museum? 

Sun/13.56 padfoot : i feel like we don’t have the same style 

Sun/13.56 moony : Why? What do you wear? 

Sun/13.56 padfoot : a lot of black 

a lot of leather 

Sun/13.57 moony : coooooooool

nope maybe not the same style 

Sun/13.57 padfoot : not that i wouldn’t like to see ya in leather 

Sun/13.58 moony : not doing this right now,

Carrots is going to bully me.

I hate you. 

I’ll message you there probably, 

I’m feeling less and less excited. 

Bye pads. 

Sun/13.59 padfoot : you’ll be fine moons 

and you definitely don’t hate me 

why would you message me there if you hate me? 

you wouldn’t ergo u don’t hate me

and good for carrots 

and if ur not doing that right now when? 

i’ll set a date in my calendar xx

Sun/15.34 moony : padfoot, I need help we’ve walked around the whole thing and she wants to go again 

Sun/15.52 padfoot: HA 

have fun with carrots 

Sun/17.48 moony : we did it, 

Twice, we went through. 

It was good the first time, got a bit excessive the second, then she wanted to go again, I said no way. 

We’re at the pub now, is it too early to get black out drunk? 

Sun/17.54 padfoot : it’s never to early to get blackout drunk 

Sun/17.55 moony : I completely agree. 

Carrots says she’s being sober for my safety, so I don’t get murdered.

Sun/17.55 padfoot : I would rather u didn’t get murdered 

so tell her that I agree with her 

you go get drunk though 

and get of your phone 

go dance 

Sun/17.55 moony : I don’t dance, 

And I’m going to get seven trillion pints now wish me luck. 

Sun/17.56 padfoot : good luck and have fun moons 

Sun/20.21 : I’ve only had four, time to go to the whiskey I think, 

I might actually start to dance. 

Hopefully carrots stops me, 

I think she’ll let me on purpose. 

She keeps trying to get me to do things that are ‘out of my comfort zone’ 

No carrots I don’t want to go on a rollercoaster with you, which apparently we are doing next week.

Sun/20.24 padfoot : she sounds so so so cool 

what’s she doing with u? 

Sun/20.24 moony : hilarious.

Sun/20.24 padfoot : not drunk enough for no punctuation?

Sun/20.25 moony : I will be soon, 

just wait til the whiskey kicks in, 

no I take that back. 

Don’t wait, and don’t look at your messages until tomorrow afternoon. 

Sun/20.25 padfoot : nope your stuck with me

Sun/20.25 moony : Shit,

I’m going to drink. 

Don’t miss me too much ;)

Sun/20.26 padfoot : MOONY SENT A WINKY FACE 

SLUTTY DRUNK? 

I THINK THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE

Sun/23.02 moony : paafopt 

ur haor soumds awesimw 

Sun/23.02 padfoot : aw thanks moons 

Sun/23.02 moony : likw thst 

Sun/23.02 padfoot : moons?

Sun/23.03 moony : soinds good 

Sun/23.03 padfoot : can you hand carrots your phone? 

Sun/23.04 moony : wby 

Sun/23.04 padfoot : I want to make sure your okay. 

Sun/23.05 moony : mkay 

Sun/23.07 moony : Hi? Who is this? 

Sun/23.07 padfoot : I’m going to assume by the lack of text mistakes that you are the sober carrots. 

Moony gave me a nickname instead of ur real name. He said you went to Hogwarts, I did too. 

Just wanted to make sure he’s alright?

Sun/23.08 moony : you’re phone boy. Right, well he’s okay, just very drunk, I’m taking him home now, he’ll be fine don’t fret. 

Sun/23.08 padfoot : Wasn’t fretting

Sun/23.57 moony : Right well, what do you call him then if you don’t have his real name. 

That’s weird by the way. 

Sun/23.57 padfoot : moony 

Sun/23.57 moony : suits him. 

Well, moony is home and safe, no thanks to himself. 

The obvious fretting can stop. 

Sun/23.57 padfoot : I wasn’t fretting! 

Sun/23.57 moony : Sure, and moony won’t be getting smacked tomorrow for calling me carrots.

Sun/23.57 padfoot: nice to meet you Carrots, don’t smack him too hard x 

Sun/23.58 moony : I definittttely won’t. 

If I did he’d deserve it though. 

Night x 

Sun/23.58 padfoot : night Carrots. 

Good night moony.

Chapter Text

Mon/8.21 moony : mmm

Mon/8.21 padfoot : MOONY! 

your alive! 

Mon/8.21 moony : mmmm 

Mon/8.21 padfoot : how r ya on this fine and dandy morning? 

Mon/8.21 moony : ears buzzing 

head pounding 

eyes don’t want to open 

Mon/8.21 padfoot : that’s what alcohol does 

do you have classes today? 

Mon/8.22 moony : definitely wouldn’t be awake if I didn’t 

at 9.30, 11 and 3 

gotta get ready 

Mon/8.23 padfoot : okay moons 

I liked carrots btw 

she seemed cool

Mon/10.47 moony : Carrots is very cool, 

She brought me coffee and donuts before my class. 

I love her.

Mon/10.47 padfoot : and I might know her? 

Why don’t you tell me her name and I’ll tell you if I know her??

Mon/10.47 moony : Yes, but then that makes you an actual person. 

Mon/10.47 padfoot : moony u do know that this isn’t ai and i am real?

Mon/10.47 moony : I am aware, but if you know Carrots, then Carrots will know you too, and then I’d know who you are and I’d get very stressed about your opinions over me. 

And I’d work myself into a panic of thinking you hate me. 

I’m very self aware.

So I’d rather not for the moment, 

Two weeks, with the stories, I’ll tell you Carrots name and you’ll tell me yours? 

Mon/10.48 padfoot : I’ll take that deal 

I will find something worth your name too

And I definitely won’t hate you, we’ve decided you’re hot, I love hot people 

which is most people 

And people with accents

And brunettes, you give off major brunette vibes. 

Mon/10.48 moony : I am a brunette, light brown though.

I appreciate the thought of me being hot, even though it’s not entirely accurate

Mon/10.48 padfoot: definitely is

Mon/10.48 moony : And there is nothing you could tell me worth my name. 

Mon/10.48 padfoot : why my biological brother is only a two thirds my brother 

Mon/10.48 moony : Deal. 

Mon/10.49 padfoot : didn’t take much did it? 

Mon/10.49 moony : I’m very nosy. 

And in case you didn’t know, you don’t have to tell me.  

You can change your mind and I might still tell you my name,

If I’m feeling nice.

Mon/10.49 Padfoot : thank you moony 

so what do we have on our two weeks list 

Mon/10.49 moony : how you got the name Padfoot 

Mon/10.49 padfoot : ur daddy issues

Mon/10.49 moony : your name 

Mon/10.49 padfoot : your name and carrots’ 

Mon/10.49 moony : what happened with your biological brother 

Mon/10.50 padfoot : that’ll be a super fun and happy day 

atleast I’ll know your name moons 

Mon/10.50 moony : It’s on my calendar as happiest day of the year.

Mon/10.50 padfoot : looking forward to it 

if ur still talking too me

Mon/10.50 moony : I will be. 

So I’ve told you what I’m doing today classes. What about you, any plans? 

Mon/10.50 padfoot : im party planning with prongs and wormy for Saturday

we’re obviously having a theme, but we haven’t decided yet so I’m buying ice and cups

Mon/10.50 moony : Obviously, the party essentials.

Mon/10.50 padfoot : and then I have class in the afternoon 

Mon/10.50 moony : What time?

Mon/10.50 padfoot : half three 

Hows the hangover? 

Mon/10.51 moony : Better, still got a headache and the lights are way too bright. 

But that could be unrelated to the hangover, I hope not. 

Mon/10.51 padfoot : sorry you feel like shit 

Mon/10.51 moony : It’s ok, I’m used to it.

Mon/10.51 padfoot : Happens a lot?? 

Mon/10.51 moony : Yeah. 

Two weeks?

Mon/10.51 padfoot : okay moony

Mon/10.52 moony : So you messaged Carrots?

Mon/10.52 padfoot : Well you were drunk and messaging me so I wanted to make sure you were alright 

Mon/10.52 moony : Awww you care. 

Mon/10.52 padfoot : nope 

i don’t 

Mon/10.52 moony : You so do!

Mon/10.52 padfoot : no I don’t 

i wear leather and drive a motor bike 

i don’t care about stuff 

especially not u

Mon/10.52 moony : Yes, yes. You’re very punk rock and kids are scared of you when you walk past. 

Mon/10.52 padfoot : what do you mean kids are scared of me??  

why would i want that?! 

Mon/10.53 moony : Sorry I was joking, you’re super cool and kids want to be you when you drive past on your motorcycle. 

Do you also have handlebars? 

Mon/10.53 padfoot : on my bike? 

yes 

Mon/10.53 moony : No, on your face. 

What you’re describing sounds like a middle aged man, who bought a motorbike when his wife left him, and sees his kids every few years. With longer hair each time. 

Is that you? 

Mon/10.53 padfoot : NO 

IM COOL

IM SUPER COOL 

IM THE COOLEST

AND I DONT HAVE FACIAL HAIR

go back to when you were saying kids wanted to be me

Yes my hair is long and I have a motorbike

but I do it coolly 

I can pull it off 

Mon/10.53 moony : Did prongs tell you that? 

Mon/10.53 padfoot : yes he did, and?

prongs’ opinion counts more than urs at the moment

what if you actually are ai?

Mon/10.54 moony : Well I’m not. 

Mon/10.54 p adfoot : you use punctuation in texts 

that seems ai 

Mon/10.54 moony : Right then, would this be better for you: 

what up bro

Mon/10.54 padfoot : please don’t call me bro moony 

that is awful 

and I hate it 

Mon/10.54 moony : whats to hate 

just bros being bros 

Mon/10.54 padfoot : nuh uh 

don’t be a bro 

be a grandpa again 

Mon/10.54 moony : nuh uh to u homie 

gtg

ima go to class rn 

Mon/10.54 padfoot : MOONY PLEASE STOP IT 

I BELIEVE UR NOT AN AI 

Mon/10.54 moony : anddd? 

Mon/10.55 padfoot : and i think brunettes are super super hot? 

Mon/10.55 moony : no? 

Why would I want you to say that?

Mon/10.55 padfoot : HES BACK

and I’ll have u know many people love being complimented by me

Mon/10.55 moony : are you lying or do really believe that? 

Mon/10.55 padfoot : I believe it because it’s true 

because you are my online friend 

my messanger mate 

perpendicular pal 

Mon/10.55 moony : what does that even mean? 

Mon/10.55 padfoot : phones are rectangular 

Mon/10.55 moony : Of course, silly me.

Mon/10.56 padfoot : that’s okay moony 

ANYWAY 

because you don’t know me in real life you are unaware of my raw animal magnetism 

my awesome hotness 

you’ve not been blessed yet 

so yes, people do like receiving compliments from me 

Mon/10.56 moony : Well you’d have to look a bit more than okay to have your confidence.

Mon/10.56 padfoot : awww 

i look more than okay!

that’s the nicest thing i’ve ever been told 

Mon/10.56 moony : It’s the nicest thing I’ve ever said.

Mon/10.56 padfoot : the fact that i believe you is concerning

Mon/10.57 moony : Nooo, perfectly normal. 

Mon/10.57 padfoot : yeahhh 

Mon/10.57 moony : SHIT 

you 

your faulr 

Mon/10.57 padfoot : having a stroke?

Mon/10.58 moony : rumming 

cmass 

late 

messafing you 

five minures awat 

Mon/10.58 padfoot : stop messaging me and go to class twat 

have fun moonpie 

Mon/12.03 padfoot : out of class yet 

Mon/12.34 padfoot : moooooonyyy

Mon/12.46 padfoot : I have separation anxiety and now that we’re friends it means ur on the end of it too 

Mon/12.48 padfoot : what do we want? 

MOONY

when do we want him?

NOW 

Mon/13.01 moony : Hi Paddy waddy. 

Don’t call me moonpie again. 

Mon/13.01 padfoot : sorry moonbeam 

Mon/13.01 moony : So we’re friends? 

Mon/13.01 padfoot : yeah your my friend. 

Am I yours? 

Mon/13.01 moony : You are, 

I was just checking.

Mon/13.02 padfoot : so how was your class?? 

Mon/13.02 moony : terrible,

My head hurt the entire time, the lights are way too bright and white, like a hospital. 

Mon/13.02 padfoot : sorry

Mon/13.02 moony : not your fault 

Mon/13.02 padfoot : I can still be sorry 

Mon/13.02 moony : okay 

Mon/13.02 padfoot : what about the phone light? 

is that okay??

Mon/13.02 moony : I’m fine don’t fret 

Mon/13.02 padfoot : moooony 

Mon/13.02 moony : yes padfoot 

Mon/13.02 padfoot : have you and carrots been talking? 

Mon/13.03 moony : She is my best friend, we do talk sometimes. 

Mon/13.03 padfoot: have you been talking about me? 

Mon/13.03 moony : that’s very self centred of you, I have a life outside of my phone

I’m not so sure you do.

Mon/13.03 padfoot : I do 

and have u been talking about me? 

Mon/13.03 moony : Like last week a sixty year old woman came in to the cafe and hit on me. I obviously flirted back, she was very pretty for 60+. 

She gave a great tip too. 

Mon/13.03 padfoot : thanks for that story

but what’s carrots said 

Mon/13.04 moony : you do know that we’re on messages, 

so you can scroll up and read what you’ve already wrote? 

Mon/13.04 padfoot : shit 

Mon/13.05 padfoot : yeah totally knew that

Mon/13.05 moony : Course you did. 

You’re very smart, with your A’s in gcse and A levels.

Wow, I’m impressed. 

Mon/13.05 padfoot : i don’t like your tone 

Mon/13.05 moony : What tone? 

No tone here.

Mon/13.05 padfoot : what are you doing now? 

Mon/13.05 moony : I’m walking home, I’m going to get food on the way, then I’m going to have a bath in the dark. 

Then I’m going to have to go back out again for another lesson.

Kill me now. 

Mon/13.06 padfoot : but moony 

what about me if you die now? 

Mon/13.06 moony : of course you’ll be the main person affected by my death. 

Mon/13.06 padfoot : yes I will? 

Mon/13.06 moony : right sorry 

Ooh, I’m going into Greg’s. 

Mon/13.06 padfoot : what are you getting?? 

Mon/13.13 moony : I got vegan sausage roll, a coffee and a jam donut. 

Mon/13.13 padfoot :  i mean that’s just wrong 

Mon/13.13 moony : I will fight you over this. 

Not kidding.

Mon/13.14 padfoot : sorry i take it back completely acceptable. 

Mon/13.14 moony : That’s what I thought. 

Oh, I’ve got gossip for you, I feel like that’s something you love. 

Mon/13.14 padfoot : I love it so much 

how did u know? 

Mon/13.14 moony : lucky guess. 

Fields and her girlfriend broke up. 

Mon/13.14 padfoot : And? 

Mon/13.14 moony : And what? 

Mon/13.14 padfoot : god, ur such a man 

who broke up with who 

is she mad 

upset 

wants to get back together?

Mon/13.14 moony : What do you mean I’m such a man! 

Fields was broken up with, she was cheated on and defiantly doesn’t want to get back with that knob. 

She is very mad, too mad to be upset right now, but I’m pretty sure this afternoon will be me her and Carrots watching Gilmore Girls.

Not that I’m complaining. 

Mon/13.14 padfoot : Aw tell fields that I love her more than you. 

And that I’m sorry her ex is such a twat 

and I’ve never watched it but have fun

Mon/13.15 moony : I will tell her the second thing, I’m not going to start lying to her by telling her the first. 

And second how have you never watched it,

You’re such a Jess wannabe. 

Mon/13.15 padfoot : choosing to take it as a compliment. 

Are you almost home? 

Mon/13.15 moony : ten minutes away. 

Mon/13.16 padfoot : okayy

I’m just going into the studio then to class I’ll message u after my lesson? 

Mon/13.16 moony : yeah padfoot, 

talk to you later 

Mon/13.16 rem bear : Lilsss 

Mon/13.23 queen lil : yes rem?

Mon/13.23 rem bear : my head hurts 

Mon/13.23 queen lil : well if you’re complaining it must be serious 

Mon/13.23 rem bear : I can’t tell if your being serious or not?

Mon/13.23 queen lil : You complain about everything love. 

Except pain, so if your telling me your in pain you must be in a lot of it. 

Mon/13.23 rem bear : it’s not that bad 

Mon/13.23 queen lil : I’m sure it’s not, but I’m doing a nursing degree and need practice, so you can be my patient, I’ll be round when my lessons end.

So like 40 mins? 

Mon/13.23 rem bear : No lils, it’s fine. 

Im going to have a bath in the dark, and go to my next class. 

I’ll come round to yours after.

Mon/13.24 queen lil : I’m only agreeing because you’re so stubborn you’ll do it anyway. 

I’ll see you later hun. 

Mon/13.24 rem bear : See you, love you.

Mon/14.37 pads : Jamieee 

can you get make me some pasta for after my class? 

pretty please 

Mon/14.38 prongs : what do I get in return? 

Mon/14.38 pads : my happiness? 

Mon/14.38 pron gs : ok 

Mon/14.38 pads : now I feel bad 

I’ll pick us up some birds creme cakes

Mon/14.38 prongs : can I have an elephant’s foot? 

Mon/14.38 pads : course I’m just walking to class now see u after 

with some pasta

Mon/14.38 prongs : k pads 

hows phone boy? 

Mon/14.38 pads : he’s fine 

why do you want to know?

Mon/14.39 prongs : I think we’d be best friends 

Mon/14.39 pads : … 

you’ve never spoken? 

Mon/14.39 prongs : No but he’s all you’ve talked about for the last couple of days 

so I feel like I already know him 

and we’re very close friends in my head 

Mon/14.39 pads : I’m happy for you?? 

Mon/14.39 prongs : Know his name yet?

or what he looks like? 

or where he lives? 

or how old he is? 

Mon/14.39 pads : I know that one he’s 18 

Mon/14.40 prongs : when’s his birthday? 

Mon/14.40 pads : I don't know 

but I will know his name in two weeks

Mon/14.40 prongs : I’m very happy for you 

Mon/14.40 pads : yes yes 

now let me go to class 

you should be more sensible 

Mon/14.40 prongs : right sorry 

go to class 

look both ways when you cross roads 

always wear condoms 

watch out for stranger danger

Mon/14.41 prongs : too late for that one now I guess 

bye pads have a good class. 

Mon/14.41 pads : yeah love u prongs x

Mon/14.41 prongs : LOVE YOU TOO XXXXX

Mon/19.24 padfoot : HI MOONY 

sorry for messaging u so late me and prongs had pasta 

then birds 

not the animal the bakery 

when’s your birthday? 

Mon/20.57 moony : I’m sorry for messaging late, the afternoon went exactly as I thought and ended up with Fields and Carrots crying. 

Thank you for clarifying it wasn’t the animal, i was thinking you were eating a pigeon. 

Why do you want to know my birthday? 

Mon/20.58 padfoot : something prongs said 

Mon/20.58 moony : it’s the tenth of March 

Mon/20.58 padfoot : that goes in the moony folder.

Mon/20.58 moony : do I want to ask? 

Mon/20.58 padfoot : oh it’s just the folder I have on what I know about u 

I have one for all of my friends 

so far yours is the smallest so I need to start filling it up 

Mon/20.59 moony : righttt 

mmm that’s sane and normal 

Mon/20.59 padfoot: eye colour?

Mon/20.59 moony : oh this is happening now? 

Mon/20.59 padfoot : yep buckle up buddy 

Mon/20.59 moony : what’s yours? 

Mon/20.59 padfoot : grey 

Mon/20.59 moony : That’s really cool.

I have brown eyes, but they go kinda green in the sun. 

Mon/21.00 padfoot : do you have glasses? 

Mon/21.00 moony : for reading.

Mon/21.00 pads : JAMES 

HELP

Mon/21.01 padfoot : cool cool cool 

hair type? 

Mon/21.01 moony : it’s there.

Mon/21.01 padfoot : right very descriptive

Mon/21.01 moony : I don’t know! 

I feel like I’m being interrogated. It’s kind of curly and lighter at the ends 

Mon/21.01 prongs : WHAT PADS? 

WHAT HAPPENED! 

Mon/21.02 pads : he sounds soooo cute 

and he’s so funny 

what the heck 

and he has reading glasses 

i’m going to cry just thinking about them 

he said he has wavy brown hair that goes lighter at the endsssss

Mon/21.02 prongs : OMG i thought it was something SERIOUS

what the hell you can’t just message me JAMES HELP to talk about phone boy 

and yes he does sound adorable 

but he probably lives on the other side of the country knowing your luck so get over it.

Mon/21.03 pads : Sirius you say? 

sorry prongs

DID I NOT TELLK U HE LIBES IN LOMDON 2?

HELP HES MESAAGWD ME AGAIB 

Mon/21.03 : LEAVE ME AND GO MESSAGE HIM BACK IDIOT

also no you didnt tell me that?

rude really

IM GOINF TO FOND HIM 4 U BOO xxxx

Mon/21.03 moony : Padfoot you okay there?

Get scared off by my hair type? 

Mon/21.03 padfoot : nope definitely not your hair sounds wonderful 

Mon/21.03 moony : thanks? 

Mon/21.04 padfoot : anyway 

i think that’s enough interrogating for now

i will be back tmr tho so watch out 

night moons 

Mon/21.04 moony : night pads x

Mon/21.05 pads : HE AENT ME A KISS 

Mon/21.05 prongs : I’m next door pads 

I heard you almost die in excitement 

Chapter Text

Tue/5.27 padfoot : MORNING 

how’s life treating you today padfoot

oh it’s great thanks for asking moony

lets have seven thousand kids together

woah moony ask a guy on a date first 

I dreamt I already did 

you’ve been dreaming about me? Wow  

Tue/6.13 padfoot : going on a run 

yay 

exercise 

Tue/6.49 padfoot : good run going for breakfast now 

didn’t you ever hear that the early bird gets the worm moony 

your never going to get a worm

Tue/8.21 moony : the fuck is wrong with you 

that you feel the need to be awake at five in the morning and so chirpy about it.

Tue/8.22 padfoot : probably a lot of things but therapists scare me so I guess we’ll never figure it out 

oh well just another mystery 

Tue/8.22 moony : healthy

plans? 

Tue/8.22 padfoot : woah two full words and a question mark! 

you must really care 

because ur so desperate to know, I will be at the art studio for several hours in the morning and then food and then two classes then homework 

you’re going to miss me 

I won’t be able to text 

Tue/8.23 moony : me too, work.

When are you going? 

Tue/8.23 padfoot : im walking now 

I’ll be there in like ten minutes 

Tue/8.23 moony : I’ll message you for that time then, I get off work at 4.30, 

But I’ll message you at my lunch break too. 

Tue/8.23 padfoot : yeah I’ll message u at mine too, my classes end at 5 

Tue/8.23 moony : well then, since you got to interrogate me, 

I feel it’s only fair I can interrogate you back. 

Age when you had your first kiss? 

Tue/8.23 padfoot : thirteen but it was to my lesbian best friend 

we just didn’t know it at the time

Tue/8.23 moony : Ummm 

I don’t know what to ask? 

Tue/8.23 padfoot : I’ve got one 

what uni do you go to? 

Tue/8.23 moony : It’s called Diagon 

Tue/8.24 padfoot: SHUT YP 

Tue/8.24 moony : No? 

Tue/8.25 padfoot : SHUT UP 

SHUT IP SHYT UP SHUT UP 

THIS IS CRAZY 

Tue/8.25 moony : You know it?

Tue/8.25 padfoot : NO 

I JUST GOT THIS WAY BECAUSE I LOVE SHAPES SO MUCH 

LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN A CIRCLE IS LIKE THAT 

CRAZY 

Tue/8.25 moony : Stop being sarcastic it’s my thing. 

So you’ve been before? 

Tue/8.26 padfoot : just once or twice 

WHEN I HAVE CLASS

Tue/8.26 moony : Wait 

Tue/8.27 moony : you mean 

WHAT 

Tue/8.27 padfoot : Capital letters :o 

moony you dog 

Tue/8.27 moony : WE GO TO THE SAME UNI 

what the fyck 

Tue/8.27 padfoot : my exact thoughts 

tho i would never make a spelling mistake

Tue/8.27 moony : Shut up, we could of met each other 

Tue/8.27 padfoot: no I definitely would of got ur number if we did meet

Tue/8.27 moony : No you wouldn’t.

Tue/8.28 padfoot : yes I would I try to talk to as many hot guys as I can. 

Tue/8.28 pads : JAMIE 

HE GOES TO DIAGON 

MOONY HE GOES TO OUR UNI 

Tue/8.28 prongs : You know what this means? 

Tue/8.28 pads : …. what

Tue/8.29 prongs : WE ARE GOING TO BE BEST FRIENDS!!!!!! 

im going to practice 

LOBE U BYE XX

Tue/8.29 pads : love u too prongs xx

have a good practice 

Tue/8.28rembean : DORCAS LILY 

Tue/8.28 lilbean: what is it hun 

Tue/8.28 dorbean: what’s wrong? 

who do u want me to get?? 

Tue/8.28 rembean: I don’t want you to 'get' anyone. 

The guy on the phone. 

Goes to the same uni and does art too. 

Tue/8.29 dorbean : WITH ME? 

you mean I could’ve been in mystery man’s presence

Tue/8.29 : YES 

AND I COULD HAVE TOO 

Tue/8.29 lilbean: we’re very happy for you aren’t we cas

Tue/8.29 dorbean : super 

Tue/8.30 rembean : wait I just kind of left him to message you about it 

Tue/8.30 lilbean : go back then!

Tue/8.30 rembean : okayyyy 

Tue/8.30 moony : one of my friends does art here too. 

Tue/8.31 padfoot : fields or carrots? 

Tue/8.31 moony : I have other friends 

Tue/8.31 padfoot : moooony

Tue/8.31 moony : Fine. Fields.

Tue/8.32 padfoot : give me a second to work out who it is

Tue/8.32 moony : You’re not going to get it. 

She might not even be in your class. 

Tue/8.32 padfoot : don’t underestimate me 

ill get it eventually

Tue/8.32 moony : Sorry, won’t do it again.

Tue/8.34 padfoot : IVE ACTUALLY GOT IT 

meadows 

Tue/8.34 moony : AREN’T U AT THE STUDIO YET?

Tue/8.34 padfoot : NOPE 

ur friends with mcyummy!!!!!!

Tue/8.35 moony : umm padfoot??

Why have you just called my friend YUMMY? 

Tue/8.35 padfoot : SHIT 

um no reason

Tue/8.35 moony : I’m aware she is very hot I am her friend but, 

YUMMY??? 

Tue/8.36 padfoot : Marlene umm

we call her that because Marlene thinks she is very very yummy 

and it’s a greys anatomy reference 

Tue/8.36 moony : I got the reference, Carrots made me watch it all. 

Your friends Marlene wouldn’t happen to be blonde with a lot of piercings would she?

Tue/8.36 padfoot : … yes 

why? 

how do u know that?

Moooonyyyy 

Tue/8.37 moony : Nothing 

and on a completely unrelated note, I’m going now. 

Tue/8.37 padfoot : wait 

moony u better not tell her ANYTHING 

Marlene is going to KILL ME 

moony GET BACK HERE 

AH

Tue/8.39 Ruby Remfort : Cas you are going to love me.

Tue/8.39 Dorclarice bean : sure I am 

why? 

Tue/8.39 Ruby Remfort : Since you asked so nicely, 

HOTTY BLONDIE THINKS YOU’RE YUMMY 

Tue/8.40 Dorclarice bean : and how exactly did you come across this information? 

Tue/8.40 Ruby Remfort : Well, Mystery Man as you call him takes art too, and maybe figured out I’m friends with you.

He is best friends with the LESBIAN MARLENE WHO IS HOTTY BLONDIE and they talk about you and have nicknamed you MCYUMMY.

Tue/8.41 Dorclarice bean: that is a lot of information 

Tue/8.41 Ruby Remfort : Yes. 

Tue/8.41 Dorclarice bean : does this mean we both like a pair of best friends?

Tue/8.42 Ruby Remfort : No I don’t see him like that, I’ve only been messaging him a few days. 

Anyway! 

You actually have a chance? 

Tue/8.42 Dorclarice bean : are you saying I didn’t before? 

Tue/8.42 Ruby Remfort : Not what I was saying. Yummy. 

Tue/8.43 Dorclarice bean: Nope. 

Not doing this. 

Tue/8.43 Ruby Remfort: But Yummy you’re just so hot. 

Do I have a chance? 

Tue/8.43 Dorclarice bean : never in a million years.

Tue/8.43 Ruby Remfort : But seriously Cas, 

She’d be so lucky to go out with you.

Tue/8.44 Dorclarice bean: She probably doesn’t want to actually go out with me 

you can think someone is hot without wanting to date them.

Tue/8.44 Ruby Remfort: Yes you can. And that would be okay too. You’re a catch, you’ll find someone else. 

Tue/8.44 Dorclarice bean: But I don’t want to. 

Tue/8.45 Ruby Remfort: Maybe talk to her then. 

Tue/8.45 Dorclarice bean : Maybe I will. 

So changing the subject very unnoticeably 

mystery man is in my class, and sits with Marlene I’m guessing

so I’m pretty sure I know who he is.

Tue/8.46 Ruby Remfort : I sort of want to know. 

But I also don’t. 

I don’t think I want to know yet.

Tue/8.46 Dorclarice bean : okay rem but I’ll tell you one thing 

if he is who I think he is 

then that is one fine specimen 

I mean and I hate all men

Not u tho 

Tue/8.47 Ruby Remfort : mmm right 

Yep 

that’s cool 

bye have a good day cas xx

Tue/12.34 moony : Fields just told me that you are a fine specimen. 

I have never got a compliment from her, in the three years I’ve known her. 

How is that fair? 

Tue/12.34 padfoot : WAIT 

does that mean u know who I am then??? 

Tue/12.35 moony : No, I asked her not to tell me. 

I’d rather you do it in a week and a half. 

Tue/12.35 padfoot : oh 

yeah okay 

did you tell her what I told you about Marlene???? 

Tue/12.35 moony : technically I did. 

Tue/12.35 padfoot : when I die 

and I will Marls is crazy 

your to blame I hope you’ll feel guilty 

Tue/12.36 moony : I mean I would if I cared 

Tue/12.36 padfoot : sure you don’t care 

and I am a fine specimen

Tue/12.36 moony : I’m aware of that now 

great 

Tue/12.36 padfoot : It is im very happy about it ;) 

Tue/12.37 moony : You know since I know a bit more about you I feel like I should reciprocate 

Tue/12.37 padfoot : why does this seem like a threat? 

Tue/12.37 moony : Because it is: 

Tue/12.38 moony : {voice note} 

“Wyt ti’n dal yn hoffi fy acen?” 

Tue/12.38 padfoot : MY LINCH BREKAS OEVR 

Tue/12.38 moony : Sure it is,

I’ll message you later ;) x 

Tue/12.39 rembean : HELP 

I just got some strange burst of confidence. 

AND SENT MYSTERY MAN A VOICE NOTE OF ME SPEAKING WELSH. 

Tue/12.39 dorbean : u r so down bad 

Tue/12.39 lilbean : oh rem.

Tue/12.39 rembean : I’ve been messaging him for FOUR DAYS 

he’s going to think I’m even more insane than I’ve come across already! 

Tue/12.40 lilbean: send us a screenshot 

Tue/12.40 rembean: {screenshot} 

Tue/12.40 dorbean : no it’s fine you’ve cancelled each other out 

he’s down bad and insane too. 

Tue/12.40 lilbean : I know this may come as a shock to you. 

But I completely agree with Cas 

that man is so completely down bad for you.

Tue/12.41 rembean : I don’t think he is though 

I don’t even know if he’s gay???

Tue/12.41 dorbean : well I know who he is and that is not a straight man 

he’d be less obvious if carried around a rainbow flag 

which I’m pretty sure I’ve seen him with before 

Tue/12.41 lilbean : Wait, Cas how do you know who he is???

Tue/12.42 rembean : he’s best friends with hotty blondie and they’re in the same class. 

Tue/12.42 lilbean : Wait so does this mean you know who he is!!!!! 

Tue/12.42 rembean : No I told her not to tell me. 

Tue/12.42 lilbean : Why love? 

Tue/12.43 rembean : I’d rather him tell me himself you know? 

Tue/12.43lilbean : awww Rem you big ol’ softie.

Tue/12.43 dorbean : he is isn’t he 

Tue/12.43 rembean : I’m right here. And I don’t appreciate being called a big old softie. 

Tue/12.43 lilbean : It’s a good thing.

Do I get to know who he is??

Tue/12.44 rembean : NO 

Dorcas don’t tell her. 

Tue/12.44 lilbean : Dorcas can you atleast tell me if I do actually know them from Hogwarts? 

Tue/12.44 dorbean : you do 

Tue/12.44 rembean : We are postponing this conversation until I know who he is, since he is MY friend not yours Lil and not yours either Cas. 

So talk to me next sunday. 

Tue/12.45 lilbean : Why specifically next Sunday? 

Tue/12.45 rembean : We have a list, from the first day of things we didn’t want to share straight away so we said two weeks. 

Thats next Saturday, so we are sharing alot, including the bad bad stuff. 

Tue/12.45 dorbean : I’m proud of you for that rem 

but even if it is on the list you never NEED to share it 

Tue/12.45 rembean : I know that. 

I want to.

Tue/12.46 lilbean : And we’re proud of you for that too.

And that list sounds adorable by the way. 

Tue/12.46 dorbean : ik he’s so bfg coded 

Tue/12.46 rembean : That is not a compliment. 

Tue/12.46 dorbean : take it however you want to. 

Tue/12.47 rembean : Righhht. 

I’m going back to work now. 

Wish me luck that Mystery man doesn’t hate me xxxx

Tue/12.47 dorbean : he doesn’t and won’t hate you 

and if he will, I’ll ruin his artwork until I get kicked out and I’ll start leaving death threats EVERYWHERE until he feels no peace. 

and I will never ever date hotty blondie. 

Tue/12.48 lilbean : though i do not agree with torturing the poor man what Cas said is right rem.

Nobody could hate you you bfg.

and if it for any reason doesn’t go well, we’ll do what Dorcas said.

Tue/12.48 rembean : Thanks guys, 

love you x 

Tue/12.48 dorbean : yeah yeah u too 

Tue/12.49 lilbean : Love you Rem.

Love you Cas.

Tue/14.30 prongs : You alright Pads?? 

You looked like you were on the verge of a heart attack all lesson. 

Tue/14.30 pads : NO VERY NOT OKAY

Tue/14.30 prongs : This wouldn’t have anything to do with phone boy would it? 

My best friend?

Tue/14.30 pads : YEP 

YUH HUH

HE 

HE 

OMG 

IM GOING TO DEI AGAIN PRNOGS 

Tue/14.31 prongs : What did my bestie do??

Take a breath please before you pass out.

Tue/14.31 pads : I’ve already passed out over it. 

Tue/14.31 prongs : Of course you have. 

Over what exactly?

Tue/14.31 pads : HE SENT ME A VOICE NOTE 

Tue/14.32 prongs : right and I’m guessing his voice is AMAZING  

Tue/14.32 pads : IT WAS IN WELSG 

HIM SPAEKING WELSH WIRH HIS WELHS ACECENT 

Tue/14.32 prongs : oh ur fucked 

will u let me listen to it when u get home 

Tue/14.32 pads : im not listening to anything else ever 

Tue/14.33 prongs : what about Bowie??? 

Tue/14.33 pads : bye bye Bowie. 

Tue/14.33 prongs : wow 

your so so so fucked 

Tue/14.34 pads : 100%

but I’m pretty sure I’m okay about it

hes so amazing 

we’ve known each other four days 

and I don’t even know his name 

is that weird??? 

Tue/14.34 prongs : I think it’s pretty great.

And I think you do too, and you’re just trying to psych yourself out before anything goes wrong. 

and I’m pretty sure you don’t need to do that, because from what you’ve told me about phone boy, he does sound amazing. 

Tue/14.35 pads : yeah he is and I think I am 

its going to be alright?

Tue/14.35 prongs : it will be and even if it doesn’t you’ll have me. Always. 

Tue/14.35 pads : don’t make me cry prongs I’ve already fainted today and hyperventilated a couple of times 

Tue/14.35 prongs : sorry I take it back it’s going to go terribly 

Tue/14.35 pads : love you you idiot x 

Tue/14.36 prongs : love you too

I’m so excited for this voice message

Tue/14.36 pads : it’s heavenly 

Tue/18.21 moony : hey Padfoot you alright? 

Tue/18.21 padfoot : what do you think MOONY????

Tue/18.21 moony : was it too much? 

We can forget it ever happened.

Tue/18.21 padfoot : NO 

THTA IS NOT WAHT I MEANT

i will never be forgetting that

and i was right before your voice is very hot

Tue/18.21 moony : Thanks??

Tue/18.22 padfoot: you are very welcome.

Tue/18.22 moony : Do I get to hear yours too?? 

I mean I think it’s only fair. 

Tue/18.22 padfoot : you know what sure 

{voicenote} 

”Ta voice était si belle que je me suis évanouie.”

Tue/18.24 padfoot : Moony are you okay? 

you’ve not replied yet??

too much?

Tue/18.25 moony : Definitely not too much. 

So French?

Tue/18.25 padfoot : yeah 

as a kid we would go to France every summer

we had loads of tutors and shit too 

im pretty much fluent 

Tue/18.26 moony : wow 

uh huh 

cool 

Tue/18.26 padfoot : did I break u moony? 

you alright 

Tue/18.26 moony : awesome yep

Tue/18.26 padfoot : OMG 

I broke you wow 

Tue/18.27 moony : huh no nope 

Tue/18.27 padfoot : it’s ur own fault 

you did it to me first 

Tue/18.27 moony : This is Dorcas. 

I’ve taken Remus’ phone off him because he had just been staring at the wall for five minutes. 

What did you do? 

Tue/18.28 padfoot : hi Dorcas 

I sent him a voicenote 

of me 

speaking French 

Tue/18.28 moony : Oh right of course. 

Well you can talk to him tomorrow, we’re hanging out. 

Tue/18.28 padfoot : who’s we? 

Tue/18.28 moony : me him and Lily. 

Tue/18.29 padfoot : Lily as in carrots the person I went to Hogwarts with 

Lily who is ginger I’m guessing

WAIT 

HUH 

WHAT 

LILY EVANS GOES TO DIAGON?? 

OH MY GOD 

AND MOONY IS BEST FRIENDS WITH HER 

WHAT 

HUH 

Tue/18.30 moony : Dorcas just handed me my phone back and apologised. 

She’s never done that, not even when she broke my wrist. 

Let me read the messages. 

Tue/18.31 moony : WAIT 

YOU KNOW LILY WELL?? 

I thought you’d just be aware of who she was.

But you’re friends??

Tue/18.31 padfoot : I mean I wouldn’t say friends more like she really really disliked me and especially prongs. 

Tue/18.32 moony : WAIT 

ARE YOU THE TWO PEOPLE SHE ABSOLUTELY DESPISED THAT HAD ‘THE WEIRDEST NICKNAMES EVER’ 

Tue/18.32 padfoot: I mean that sounds like us 

Tue/18.32 moony : wait 

weren’t you IN LOVE WITH HER???  

Tue/18.33 padfoot: NO 

I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH LILY EVANS 

that’s all prongs 

Tue/18.33 moony : So prongs is ‘the most stupidest bumbling idiot on the planet’

according to her 

Tue/18.33 padfoot : well I wouldn’t say she’s entirely wrong 

but I’m allowed to say it because I love him 

Tue/18.34 moony : and that would make you ‘the fucking prickiest of all pricks in the galaxy’

Tue/18.34 padfoot : thank you 

thank you very much 

Tue/18.34 moony : I don’t think you’re that much of a twat 

I mean you are a prick but not the prickiest in the galaxy 

you're like third

Tue/18.35 padfoot: you wound me moons 

I try my hardest but apparently it’s still not enough 

Does this mean you know my name now???

Tue/18.35 moony : no I don’t 

she mentioned you never by name only by ‘you remember that prick with the long hair’ 

Tue/18.35 padfoot : how long have you known Lily then? 

Tue/18.36 moony : All my life, 

our mums were best friends.

Tue/18.36 padfoot : I mean that’s crazy 

and how have we never run in to each other before 

I have never seen Lily EVER around here

Tue/18.37 moony : that’s probably because she avoids prongs 

she doesn’t want him to know she goes here. 

I have no idea how’s she’s managed it for a whole month and a half.

Tue/18.37 padfoot : why does she avoid him?

Tue/18.37 moony : Well, we all thought it was because she hated him. 

But there could be another reason.

Tue/18.37 padfoot : WHAT 

Tue/18.37 moony : I’m sworn to secrecy.

Tue/18.37 padfoot : well I’m going to go inform prongs

you may need to tell Lily that avoiding him won’t work any more. 

He will find her eventually

Tue/18.38 moony : that sounds really creepy. 

Tue/18.38 padfoot : he’s only a tiny bit creepy 

and only to people he cares about 

so it’s probably fine 

Tue/18.38 moony : You better not try and stalk me and Lily too. 

Tue/18.38 padfoot : Moony you do realise that now I know you go here 

I will be on the lookout for a beanstalk walking around with Lily and Dorcas. 

Tue/18.39 moony : I’ll just have to unfriend them I guess.

Tue/18.39 padfoot : I guess you will 

I’m going to go celebrate with prongs 

have a good night xx 

Tue/18.39 moony : You too x

Chapter Text

Wed/5.22 pads : operation charm Lily Evans is a go 

so I have to figure out from moony what course she’s on 

Wed/5.22 prongs : and I have to become less of a knob 

How do I do that? 

Wed/5.22 pads : ask someone who isn’t a knob 

Wed/5.23 prongs : not you then 

Wed/5.23 pads : HEY 

Wed/5.23 prongs : it’s not a bad thing 

you’re as bad as me though

You know who isn’t a knob my best friend 

Can I have phone boys number?

Wed/5.24 pads : No.

Wed/5.24 prongs : Pretty please 

I’ll buy you five donuts 

Wed/5.24 pads : and? 

Wed/5.24 prongs : And I won’t tell him any embarrassing stories or refer to him as phone boy 

Wed/5.25 pads : AND? 

Wed/5.25 prongs : and I’ll model for you again. 

Wed/5.25 pads : Deal.

Ill give it to you now 

but he won’t be awake for a while 

I’ll message u when u can message him 

okay?

Wed/5.25 prongs : of course my second bestest best friend xxxxx

Wed/8.45 padfoot : hiya moons 

u awake yet? 

Wed/8.45 moony : barely 

Wed/8.45 padfoot : I have two quick questions for you 

Wed/8.45 moony : Ask away I guess. 

Wed/8.45 padfoot : What class does Lily take and can Prongs have your number? 

Wed/8.45 moony : Can I have Prongs’ real name?

Wed/8.46 padfoot : James 

Wed/8.46 moony : He can have my number then. 

Tell him to ask me himself if he wants to stalk my best friend 

Wed/8.46 padfoot : sorry had to try 

I will tell him to ask you so be prepared. 

Wed/8.47 moony : it’s too early for this 

Wed/8.47 padfoot : Moony I’ve been awake for 3 and a half hours 

i told you about the early bird

Wed/8.47 moony : Well I don’t care 

Wed/8.47 padfoot : your so moody in the mornings moony 

moody moony 

HA 

Wed/8.48 moony : Shut up before I make you 

Wed/8.48 padfoot : I wouldn’t stop you 

Wed/8.48 moony : Didn’t mean it like that. 

Wed/8.48 padfoot : Like what? 

Wed/8.48 moony : Shut it. 

Wed/8.48 padfoot : ;)

Wed/9.01 : HI 

this is prongs 

Padfoot’s friend 

He told me to message u after nine so here I am. 

He also said that you knew all about operation charm Lily Evans and would be willing to help. 

Wed/9.01 phone boy : Hi Prongs

He told me you’d be messaging me but he never said anything about what it was about. 

So you want to date my best friend? 

Wed/9.02 prongie : That little shit 

yes I would very much like to date your best friend 

she’s pretty amazing. 

Wed/9.02 phone boy : I know she is. 

Are you? 

Wed/9.02 prongie : I hope so?

Wed/9.03 phone boy : I’m messing with u 

Padfoot only says nice things,

and I’m pretty sure Lily must be exaggerating on some of the things she says about you. 

Wed/9.03 prongie : is that a good thing? 

Wed/9.03 phone boy : Yes it is. 

So if this is an operation you must have a plan? 

Wed/9.03 prongie : Find out what class she takes 

become less of a knob 

Wed/9.04 phone boy : That’s barely a plan. 

Come up with a better one and I’ll tell you what class she takes. 

What are you going to do with that information? 

Wed/9.04 prongie : Turn up after her lectures and apologise and give her things like flowers and coffee. 

Lilies obviously

Do you think she'd like one of them bands with the stripy outfits?

Wed/9.05 phone boy : I take back what I said before about you coming up with a plan. 

I’ll come up with one you just try and do it,

Okay?

Wed/9.05 prongie : Okay.

Wed/9.11 phone boy : Number one, Lily doesn’t like you yet so be ready for rejection.

Number two, don’t buy your way into her romantic life.

Number three, NEVER try and serenade her or have a mariachi band do it either.

Number four, try and be her friend instead of immediately asking her out.

Number five, don’t stalk her just start hanging out in the library (at like 4 o’clock on Thursdays and Sundays) and don’t talk to her immediately just let her know you’re there 

Wed/9.12 phone boy : Number six, when you talk to her don’t be a twat seem interested in her not yourself because from what I’ve heard she thinks you’re very self centred 

And once you get to the part where she will hold a full conversation with you we’ll talk about it again. 

Wed/9.13 prongie: you know you would of been soooo useful in high school.

And thank you so so much. 

I will follow it as best I can.

Wed/9.13 phone boy : I’ll talk you up to her aswell. 

I’m rooting for you James. 

You seem like a really good person. 

Wed/19.14 prongie : I love you moony 

what did Evans say about me?

just so I know what not to do.

Wed/19.14 phone boy : She said a lot about you being an idiot who somehow passed his exams

And she would talk about pranks that you’d do and how it was very immature and childish 

Wed/9.15 prongie : I’ll try it thank you moony!!!!!

Wed/9.14 prongie : how about you ditch pads and I’ll ditch Evans and we run off together?? 

Wed/9.14 phone boy : I’ve got class in fifteen minutes, 

Another time?

Wed/ 9.14 prongie : Another time. 

Have a good lesson

Wed/9.15 phone boy : and you have a good day.

Wed/9.16 prongs : moony is amazing and I love him

Wed/9.17 pads : yeah 

sounds about right 

Wed/9.17 padfoot : you’re not going to run away with my best friend are you? 

Wed/9.17 moony : I refused his offer,

You’re safe for now.

Wed/9.17 padfoot : good

and for later?

Wed/9.18 moony : you’re safe then too.

Wed/9.18 padfoot : really?? 

Wed/9.18 moony : I like James he’s nice 

but he’s no moody, short, dark haired guy in my phone.

Wed/9.19 padfoot : I thought we decided u were the moody one 

Wed/9.19 moony : only in the mornings darling.

Wed/9.19 padfoot : uh huh 

mm 

yep 

Wed/9.20 moony : Right.

So what are you doing today? 

Wed/9.20 padfoot : I’ve got classes this morning

And me and Marlene are going to this concert thing at school later. 

Wed/9.20 moony : Oh I heard about that. 

Apparently it’s mean to be really bad, you shouldn’t go.

Wed/9.21 padfoot : Really? 

Marlene wants to go because Dorcas is apparently performing 

I guess you knew that already 

Wed/9.21 moony : yeah guess I did 

Wed/9.21 padfoot : So you’re not going then if you think it’s going to be really bad?

Wed/9.22 moony : Guess so 

Wed/9.22 padfoot : why are you being so cagey??

Wed/9.23 moony : I’ll tell you in a week and a half. 

Wed/9.23 padfoot : guess so 

when did you say you have class?

Wed/9.24 moony : Like five minutes. 

Wed/9.24 padfoot : okaaaayy 

I guess I’ll let you go 

Wed/9.25 moony : Okay padfoot. 

Sorry for being cagey x

Wed/9.25 padfoot : it’s okay 

bye moons x

Wed/10.45 moony : I hate my professor.

Wed/10.45 padfoot : why? who? 

Wed/10.45 moony : Slughorn my English lit professor. 

He’s such a twat 

You know how I said I get headaches and shit loads 

Wed/10.46 padfoot : I have a feeling this story isn’t looking good for him

Wed/10.46 moony : Definitely not. 

Well I started getting a headache so I asked to go and get my painkillers and the twat said no because apparently the next bit of the book I’ve read atleast three times was really important.

Wed/10.47 moony : I’m pretty sure i remember thanks.

Wed/10.47 padfoot : Sorry he’s a dick. 

Can’t you complain or something.

Wed/10.47 moony : Not worth it. 

I’m going to Lily’s because she is taking NURSING and makes the best soup. 

Wed/10.48 Padfoot : your amazing moons 

Wed/10.48 moony : I know I am. 

Don’t stalk my friend. 

Or Dorcas for that matter too. 

Don’t stalk either of my friends.

Wed/10.49 padfoot : i probably won’t 

Wed/10.49 moony : Well I feel very reassured.

Bye pads x

Wed/10.49 padfoot : bye moons x

Wed/10.50 rembear: Lils I’m coming over for your amazing soup. 

My head hurts and I’ve been thinking about it all morning. 

Pretty please? xxx

Wed/10.51 queen lils : That’s fine Rem.

I’ll start cooking.

Wed/10.51 rembear : I love you so so so so so much. 

Wed/10.52 queen lils : Will you be alright for later? x

Wed/10.52 rembear : I’ll be fine after your amazing soup <3

Wed/10.52 queen lils : okay but don’t strain yourself hun or you’ll feel terrible tomorrow x

Wed/10.53 rembear : I’ll be fine babe.

Just walking to you now x

Wed/10.53 queen lils : Okayyyy

Wed/10.53 rembear : Guess who I messaged today? 

Wed/10.53 queen lils : if it’s me Dorcas or mystery man, it’s not very difficult to guess.

Wed/10.54 rembear : It wasn’t one of you three. 

Wed/10.54 queen lils : you socialised with someone new!

I’m so proud of you!

Wed/10.54 rembear : I can socialise with people! 

Wed/10.55 queen lils : can you?

Wed/10.55 rembear : We got off track. 

It was James from Hogwarts. 

The one who was in love with you!

Wed/10.55 queen lils : Remus.

Wed/10.55 rembear: uh 

Wed/10.56 queen lils : John.

Wed/10.56 rembear: Maybe I shouldn’t come round…

Wed/10.56 queen lils : Lupin.

Why have you been texting that idiot stupid, bullying, arsehole, did i mention idiot, twat, toe rag?

Wed/10.57 rembear : uh

Wed/10.57 queen lils : REMUS?

Wed/10.57 rembear : Remember James friend?

And Mystery man who went to Hogwarts with you?

Wed/10.58 queen lils : OH MY GOD YOURE IN LOVE WITH JAMES TOO

IM GOING TO DIE

Wed/10.58 rembear : NO HIS FRIEND 

not HIM 

and lils? 

TOO!!!!!!! 

HAVE YOU FINALLY ACCEPTED THAT U LOVE HIM TOO??

Wed/10.59 queen lils : WHY WOULDNT YOU SAY THAT FIRST????

Wed/10.59 rembear : Well I thought it might help you realise you don’t actually hate him? 

I’m sorry xx

(i’m not)

Wed/11.00 queen lils : can’t breath huh

no I do not have romantic feelings for James potter 

the only feelings I have for him is strong hatred.

Wed/11.00 rembear : Lilyyyyy 

It’s okay to have feelings for him.

he’s single, probably very hot, he runs, he’s tall, he seems very kind and caring. 

Why do you think you can’t love him? 

Wed/11.01 queen lils : HURRY UP REM.

i’m haivng a breadkown here.

Wed/11.01 rembear : Running xx

Wed/11.02 rembear : a minute away 

Wed/11.03 rembear : Come let me in lils 

We’ll eat ice cream and soup.

Wed/11.05 Ruby Remfort : Emergency at Lils. 

Wed/11.06 Dorclarice Bean : omw xx

Wed/19.23 padfoot : do you know why Lily Evans keeps glaring at me and Marlene?

Wed/19.23 moony : yes.

Wed/19.23 padfoot : wait Dorcas is getting on the stage. 

She sat at the drums

Lily is getting on too

at the front with the microphone

is she singing??

Wed/19.24 padfoot : MOONY where’d ya go??

anyway someone else is getting on the stage

oh 

shit

that is one fineeeeeeeeee man.

Wed/19.25 padfoot : MOONY why are you sitting at home and not here!!!!! 

both your friends are hereeee

WE COULD OF MET IF YOU’D COME

Wed/19.36 padfoot: why did you say this would be bad 

this is AMAZING

Wed/19.47 padfoot : woah

marlene agrees with me that band was the best one 

is it a competition?

I have no idea

and they played the best songs 

David Bowie is love

David Bowie is life 

Wed/19.52 moony : He is.

Wed/19.53 padfoot: MOONY 

YOU’RE BACK

Why didn’t you come????

Lily and Dorcas were amazing and so was that guy they were with 

do you know him too?

Wed/19.53 moony : I do know him.

I’ll tell you where I was in one and a half weeks.

Were they that good then?

Wed/19.54 padfoot : They were so much better than all the other ones 

I had to record it to send it to prongs 

I think he fainted when Lily started singing 

I feel so bad for the guy 

pretty sure she hates him and me

Wed/19.54 moony : I wouldn’t feel too bad for him.

Wed/19.55 padfoot: WHY

moony what do you know?

Wed/19.55 moony : everything.

Wed/19.55 padfoot : course you do

Marlene has left me now

Wed/19.56 moony : REALLY!

Wed/19.56 padfoot : what!!

Wed/19.56 moony : Lily messaged me saying that Dorcas has left her.

I just find that interesting.

Wed/19.57 padfoot : YOU THINK??!

Wed/19.57 moony : YES I DO THINK.

Wed/19.57 padfoot : WOW 

im not even mad about being ditched

Wed/19.58 moony : Me neither. 

Wed/19.58 padfoot : huh?

Wed/19.58 moony : Lily and her ditching me to go to the thing.

Just so she could impress Marlene. 

I’m kind of impressed with her.

Wed/19.59 padfoot : Well she 100% succeeded Marlene was practically panting. 

Wed/19.59 moony : Good for them. 

James and Lily are next on the list.

Wed/19.59 padfoot : list??

Wed/20.00 moony : List of our shared friends that are getting together.

Wed/20.00 padfoot : meakinnon 

Wed/20.00 moony : And that would mean?

Wed/20.00 padfoot : Marlene and Dorcas

Wed/20.01 moony : Obviously, my bad. 

And that’s terrible find a new one.

Wed/20.01 padfoot : I was obviously going to 

I was workshopping it 

Marcas

Wed/20.02 moony : Terrible.

Wed/20.02 padfoot : dorlene

Wed/20.03 moony : Fine.

Wed/20.03 padfoot : is that the highest praise you give?

Wed/20.03 moony : uh huh 

Wed/20.04 padfoot : Right then 

Dorlene it is.

What about James and Lily 

Wed/20.04 moony : jily 

Wed/20.04 padfoot : I like lames

cause it’s like lame

u know 

Wed/20.04 moony : Mine is way better.

Wed/20.05 padfoot : *dramatic gasp*

how dare you

mine is obviously the better option.

Wed/20.05 moony : I’ll ask Lily.

Wed/20.05 padfoot : I’ll ask James. 

Wed/20.06 pads : JAMIE BOY

Wed/20.06 prongs : SIRI 

Wed/20.06 pads : take it back

Wed/20.06 prongs : sorry pads 

Wed/20.07 pads : I’ll accept your apology 

this time

Wed/20.07 prongs : thank you thank you thank you

Wed/20.08 pads : now the real point 

YOU AND LILY NEED A SHIP NAME 

Wed/20.08 prongs : I maybe kind of made one in high school

Wed/20.08 pads : YOU DID?

what is it??

Wed/20.09 prongs : it issss 

drum roll please 

Wed/20.09 pads : du du Du Du DU DU DUHH

Wed/20.10 prongs : JILY!!!!!

Wed/20.10 pads : i hate u

Wed/20.10 prongs : WHY 

noooo

i love u too xxxxx

Wed/20.11 padfoot : Prongs said he already had one from high school 

called jily

:(

Wed/20.11 moony : well I’m sorry for you,

and your terrible naming skills.

Wed/20.11 padfoot : well what did Lily say?

Wed/20.12 moony : I tried to tell her but she glared at me too. 

So I ran away.

Wed/20.12 padfoot : what did you do???? 

Wed/20.12 moony : I told her I messaged James. 

And that I thought he was nice.

Wed/20.13 padfoot : that’ll do it

Wed/20.13 moony : But, I think that she’ll come around to him.

He just needs to be very patient 

Wed/20.13 padfoot : he can do it hes already waited seven years

Wed/20.14 moony : wow.

I’m going to talk to her now.

Wed/20.14 padfoot : good luck and good night xx

Wed/23.21 moony : good night xx

Chapter Text

Thu/9.32 rembean : we have A LOT to discuss,

ESPECIALLY you Miss Meadows.

Thu/9.32 lilbean : wait do you know where she’s gone?

She never came home.

Thu/9.33 rembean : I’ve made an educated guess based on the fact that Mystery man said Marlene disappeared on him last night.

WHERE THEY WERE BOTH WATCHING!!!!

Thu/9.33 lilbean : wow.

Did he know it was you?????

Thu/9.34 rembean : NO 

and he said that the guy that walked on the stage with you two was a fine man

AM I A FINE MAN LILY 

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

Thu/9.35 dorbean : it means he thinks ur hot

Thu/9.35 lilbean : DORCAS OPAL MEADOWS 

Thu/9.35 rembean : Your middle name is opal HA 

Thu/9.36 dorbean : shut up John 

Thu/9.36 rembean : You're right sorry,

shutting up.

I’ll be quiet while Lily is angry at you.

Thu/9.37 lilbean : What were you thinking disappearing on us at the concert?

And staying out ALL NIGHT without letting anyone know.

I thought you had been kidnapped or murdered.

What do have to say for yourself?

Thu/9.38 dorbean : Marlene and I kissed

Thu/9.38 lilbean : shutting up now too.

Thu/9.38 rembean : Brunch so we can talk about EVERYTHING. 

This includes you Lily Juniper Evans. 

Thu/9.39 dorbean : yeah junie

Rem said lover boy fainted when he saw a video of you singing

Thu/9.39 lilbean : shut uppp.

john and opal and I’m getting made fun of?

Thu/9.40 rembean : No it’s cute Junie.

Thu/9.40 dorbean : I was making fun of you.

Thu/9.41 lilbean : Lovely.

Butterbeers in half an hour?

Thu/9.41 dorbean : See you there x

Thu/9.41 rembean : See you guys there x

Thu/9.54 Marly : SIRIUS

I KISSED HER

DORCAS 

Thu/9.54 Siri : OH MY GOD 

YAYYY

YOU KISSED MCYUMMY 

Thu/9.55 Marly : yeah…

about that.

SHE KNEW

that we called her MCYUMMY

Thu/9.55 Siri : uhhhh

Thu/9.55 Marly : ur dead meat when I find you

Thu/9.56 Siri : butttt if she didn’t know u called her that then she’d never know that u actually liked her so actually 

Thu/9.56 Marly : Shut ur pie hole if u ever want to use it again.

Andddd I’ve got something you’ll want to know.

Thu/9.57 Siri : WHAT

Thu/9.57 Marly : well it’s about your moony soo

Thu/9.57 Siri : what do u want

Thu/9.57 Marly : hmmm I want power over you and I have it right now so I think I’ll hold on to this secret for the moment.

Thu/9.58 Siri : That’s evil.

Thu/9.58 Marly : So anytime you want to be mean to me just remember that what I know gets further and further away from in your brain.

Thu/9.59 Siri : ummm yep

got it 

Let’s talk more about Dorcas then 

Thu/9.59 Marly : LETS

SHES SO HOT

and could have literally any one she wanted after that performance.

Thu/10.00 Siri : That is true the performance was amazing

but you also have your pick easily over 50% of women 

the lesbians 

all of them

because you are soooooo hot too 

Thu/10.01 Marly : Thank youuuu

BUT ANYWAY back to her

so she came and found me after the show which is when i left you sorry

Thu/10.01 Siri : it’s fine go on

Thu/10.02 Marly : okay and she asked if she could buy me a drink

i think I nodded I was in a bit of shock after that performance

so we went to the bar and chatted about McGonagall and the homework for next week

then we got into more like hobbies and stuff I asked her when she started playing the drums

and we were chatting til like 2 am

Thu/10.03 Siri : woah?

Thu/10.03 Marly : yeah it was mental only felt like a couple of hours

and because her house was like way to far to walk in the dark

I asked her if wanted to stay at mine cause it was like 2 mins away instead of an hour 

she agreed and we spent another hour chatting before we left

and we spent the whole time walking talking too

Thu/10.04 Marly : IT WAS SO AMAIZBG

Thu/10.04 Siri : IT SOUNDS IT 

what next?????

Thu/10.05 Marly : So we were at my house and I offered her my bed but she said she’d feel too bad and wouldn’t sleep at all so she took the sofa

then I woke up to the smell of PANCAKES

AND SHE WAS COOKING FOR ME TO SAY THABK YOU

Thu/10.06 Siri : I already love her.

Thu/10.06 Marly : SAME

and so while she was cooking I sat on the counter next to her and she kept looking at me like crazy romantic

and so I asked her if I could kiss her and she said ‘yes please’

AGHHH

And so I pulled her by her top and we kissed

me on the counter still

Thu/10.07 Siri : That sounds like a film

im so not jealous right now

Thu/10.07 Marly : I’m jealous of past me.

Thu/10.08 Siri : completely fair

Thu/10.08 Marly : and then I accidentally stuck my hand in the pancake mixture and got it in her hair

Thu/10.08 Siri : ohh

Thu/10.09 Marly : BUT THEN she laughed and smudged some on my face

AND LICKED IT OFF

Thu/10.09 Siri : MCHOTTY

Thu/10.10 Marly : MCHOTTY

- time skip wolfstar ofc message in between in case you were worried -

Fri/7.10 moony : wyh is it so eraly

Fri/7.10 padfoot : the sun moves

the question is why are you awake so early

i only got up like half an hour ago

Fri/7.10 moony : stupid Cas 

stuipd Lily 

Fri/7.11 padfoot : and they did???

Fri/7.11 moony : stayed at thiers 

woke m up 

Fri/7.11 padfoot : sorry that happened :(

Fri/7.11 moony : so palns?

Fri/7.11 padfoot : not very good at texting early are you?

Fri/7.12 moony : suht up

Fri/7.12 padfoot : rightttt

James has a match this morning and I have one lesson in the afternoon

Fri/7.12 moony : coul 

Fri/7.13 padfoot : very cool

what are you doing then moony?

Fri/7.13 moony : thiknng bout yuo 

Fri/7.13 padfoot : yeah?

Fri/7.14 moony : mmm hapens lot

Fri/7.14  padfoot : ur not drunk are you? 

I mean at 7 in the morning I hope not 

Fri/7.15 moony : nope juts honestt 

Fri/7.15 padfoot : I think about you a lot too 

any reason for the honesty though?

Fri/7.15 moony : gonna be a bad day 

Fri/7.16 padfoot : and you know this how?

Fri/7.16 moony : I’m going home thsi weekend,

gonna be very moody bout it.

so sorry in advacne 

Fri/7.17 padfoot : do u have to go?

is that too nosy??

Fri/7.17 moony : not too nosy.

It’s my mam’s birthday.

i want to go home for her.

Fri/7.17 padfoot : I’m sorry moons

Fri/7.18 moony : For what?

Fri/7.18 padfoot : that ur not going to be happy for a bit

Fri/7.18 moony : oh 

Thank you.

Fri/7.19 padfoot : that’s ok moons

what have you got your mum?

Fri/7.19 moony : I bought her a couple of records and some chocolate from honeydukes.

Fri/7.19 padfoot : honeydukes is the best

i still think it’s weird that you have been to all the same places I’ve been to if you know what I mean

Fri/7.20 moony : I do know what you mean.

it’s crazy to me that you know Lily.

And Dorcas and Lily both know you before me, kinda mad about it.

Fri/7.20 padfoot : you know two weeks is kind of far away

what about one thing before that.

Fri/7.21 moony : What are you thinking?

Fri/7.21 padfoot : A phone call.

Fri/7.21 moony : When?

Fri/7.22 padfoot : is that a yes?

Fri/7.22 moony : Yes, it’s a yes.

Fri/7.22 padfoot : cool cool cool cool cool 

Fri/7.23 moony : okay Jake.

Fri/7.23 padfoot : huh?

Fri/7.23 moony : nothing.

Time?

Fri/7.24 padfoot : when are you free?

Fri/7.24 moony : I’ve got two lessons in the morning so any time after lunch.

Fri/7.25 padfoot : im free after six 

I’ve got lessons then im going out with marls

we’re probably just going to be talking about Dorcas.

Dorcas is coming to my party did you know???

Fri/7.26 moony : I did know, she invited me, unlike you.

How dare you. 

6.30?

Fri/7.26 padfoot : I DIDNT THINK YOUD WANT TO COME

do you do you do you do you

Fri/7.27 moony : NO.

no thank you.

Fri/7.27 padfoot : rude

6.30 is good.

Fri/7.27 moony : right phone call 6.30 uh huh 

Fri/7.28 padfoot : we don’t have to 

Fri/7.28 moony : Yes we do.

I have a feeling that my day won’t be as bad now.

Fri/7.28 padfoot : REALLY 

and whys that?

Fri/7.29 moony : Well Lily’s just gone out to get breakfast.

Fri/7.29 padfoot : Is that it?

Fri/7.29 moony : And she’s bringing COFFEE!!!!

Fri/7.30 padfoot: moonyyyyy

Fri/7.30 moony : And I have a phone call later that I’m quite excited for.

Fri/7.30 padfoot : finally you got there 

Fri/7.31 moony : Yeahhh 

Guess I did.

Fri/7.31 padfoot : what’s Evans gone to get then?

Fri/7.32 moony : Bagels.

YAY

Fri/7.32 padfoot : I don’t like when u do that 

Fri/7.32 moony : What?

Fri/7.33 padfoot : Type like a normal person not a grandpa 

stop it

Fri/7.33 moony : I apologise, so sorry pads.

-another little time skip-

Fri/7.52 moony : Lils is back with my breakfast I’ll TALK to you later

Fri/7.52 padfoot : Enjoy your bagels 

and we will chat later

have a speak

talk 

say things out loud 

yep

see u then moony 

Fri/18.25 rembean : HELP

We’re going to talk

on the phone

me and padfoot 

right

Fri/18.26 lilbean : Rem calm down. 

It’s going to be fine you’ll come across great and he’ll definitely fall in love with your voice it’s very sexy.

Fri/18.26 rembean : ew Lily don’t say my voice is sexy that’s like incest

Fri/18.27 dorbean : pull ur self together 

don’t act like a twat 

don’t say anything stupid or mean

be yourself

and if anything goes wrong message us and we’ll run into your house screaming that there’s a fire.

Fri/18.28 rembean : I may take you up on that offer. 

No I got this.

Yep.

NO I DONT

Fri/18.28 lilbean : Remus you are an amazing person and we’re pretty sure that he knows that too.

he’s probably feeling the exact same thing so just talk and be honest.

You can do this hun.

Fri/18.29 dorbean : what she said

Fri/18.29 rembean : right okay 

okay okay okay okay

HE MESSAGED ME

Fri/18.18 paddy : guyssss 

help me what do I talk about

Fri/18.18 wormy : what are we on about?

Fri/18.19 prongy: how pads is going to win over the love of his life 

Fri/18.19 pads : what I say to moony 

Fri/18.19 wormy : righttt

Fri/18.20 pads : anywayyy

where are your answers?????

Fri/18.20 prongy : ask him to meet in person 

Fri/18.20 wormy : ask him on a date

Fri/18.20 pads : oh my god

Fri/18.21 prongy: wormy why are we so in sync

Fri/18.21 wormy : it’s pretty cool 

wait write down any random word in 

3

2

1

MOONY

Fri/18.21 prongy : LOVER

wait but they’re kind of similar

Fri/18.21 wormy : righttt

i think we did pretty well!

Fri/18.22 paddy : GUYS 

BACK TO ME PLEASE

im not going to ask him on a date or meet him in person?

ive got notes of what i know about him 

so ill just talk about things he’s interested in like books and being tall

that’s good right???

Fri/18.23 prongy : yeah sure

Fri/18.23 wormy : no

Fri/18.23 paddy : guyssss I was less nervous before 

what the fuck is wrong with you

pull yourselves together and comfort me!

Fri/18.24 prongy : Just be yourself and if it’s meant to be the conversation will flow naturally like

MINE AND LILYS CONVERSATION TODAY

Fri/18.24 wormy : by Joe he’s done it 

Never believed in you so well done

Fri/17.24 prongy : THANK YOU WORM

Fri/17.25 paddy : that just wasn’t something to say thank you to

Fri/17.25 prongy: THANK YOU TOO

IM VERY HAPPY SND CALM ABOTR IT

im proud of myself that I kept it to myself for this long!

Fri/17.25 paddy : you know what me too

Fri/17.26 wormy : me three

Fri/17.26 prongy : THANKS GUYSSS xxxxx

back to pads again

you feel ready?

Fri/17.26 paddy : no 

shit

um

Fri/17.27 wormy : pretend he’s me or prongs

Fri/17.27 paddy : EW

Fri/17.27 wormy : okay um

james your turn

Fri/17.28 prongy : remember all of your messages 

Fri/17.28 paddy : yeahh 

Fri/17.28 prongy: and remember how easy it was to talk to him?

Fri/17.28 paddy : it really is

Fri/17.29 prongy : well just do that again but speaking.

GO MESSAGE HIM JOW.

Fri/17.29 paddy : K

Chapter Text

Fri/18.29 padfoot : HEY MOONY 

Fri/18.29 moony : hey?

Fri/18.30 padfoot : sorry but stressed

get loud and energetic when stressed

Fri/18.30 moony : I get quiet and self-sabotaging ;)

Fri/18.30 padfoot : cool very cool and fun

Fri/18.30 moony : super super fun and cool

Fri/18.31 padfoot : so you like phone calls?

Fri/18.31 moony : uh yes?

Fri/18.31 padfoot : that’s good seen as we are going to call

now

Fri/18.32 moony : you okay there?

Fri/18.32 padfoot : awesome

im going to call u 

now 

in two seconds

in one now

in like half a second

Fri/18.32 moony : these are some long seconds

Fri/18.33 padfoot : {calling}

”They’re Mississippi’s.”

”Course they are. Padfoot?”

”mmm, yes moons?”

”Did you forget to mention that you sound like a posh twat?”

”I do not. How dare you I take great offence.”

”You should I was insulting you.”

” *gasp* moony how DARE you.”

”Say bath.”

”Bath.”

”Posh twat.”

”Well you say it weird too.”

”Really? *amused* How do I say it weird?”

“You say it walesish”

”*laughing* You mean Welsh?”

”Yes that.”

”You sound flustered pads? Whys that?”

”Shut up.”

”Why did you call me if you want me to shut up? That doesn’t make much sense to me.”

”Your voice is … stupid.”

”Do you want me to stop talking then?”

”… no.”

”That’s what I thought.”

”Shut it tree.”

”Okay gnome.”

”That’s not fair I’m not a gnome I’m average!”

”And I’m not a tree? I’m just slightly above average.”

”sure and I’m the queen of England.”

”… You do know she’s dead right?”

”NO! What? LIZZIE!”

”Yeah you’ve got to say and I’m the king of England now.”

”But that’s so much less fun.”

”Yeah, sorry you had to find out this way. It was like a year ago though?”

”Really?”

”Yeah?”

”I never even held her a wake.”

”Right. And you needed to do that why?”

”I was going to marry her. Keep up moony.”

”Of course sorry. My condolences for your whatever she was to you.”

” ‘priciate it.”

”So how was your day? How was James’ practice? Football I’m guessing.”

”He’s the coach for the kids team at the sports club at uni. It was pretty awesome, James is amazing at it. I think he wants to be a Pe teacher now.”

”What did he want to do before?”

“Personal trainer.”

”I definitely see him as the cool Pe teacher.”

”That’s what I told him! And my day was good. I saw my other soon to be wife. We chatted.”

”Right, and this one is how old?”

”I have no idea, I think she’s in her forties, possibly.”

“Course she is. Got a thing for Older women pads?”

”mummy issues.”

”You said it not me.”

“Yes, I’m aware of my issues with authority figures, anyway, changing the subject. How was your day?”

”Very good. Can I not ask more about your other future wife?” 

“Later. Your day?”

”Well my bagel was amazing. Then my classes were boring, and I had a nap. Then me and Dorcas went for a walk before she left me to hang out with Marlene. Then I came home and read. Your other future wife?”

”Minnie, she’s my art professor who is so cool and awesome and I love her.”

”Minnie wouldn’t happen to be Minerva McGonagall?”

”YES! Wait is she also your future wife?”

”Eww, no she’s my aunt. Or she’s married to my aunt.”

”… what.”

”Yeah your future wife is a taken woman.”

”And she never told me! I can’t believe this. So she goes to your family events? And you see her outside of the school? And she’s your aunt! And she’s married! To a woman!”

”Yes?”

”Tell me EVERYTHING.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean tell me every single thing you know about her.”

“Why are you saying it like that. You can’t scare me into giving me information about Minnie.”

“You call her Minnie too?”

“I’m going to start.”

“Your aunts name is? The other one, Minnie’s wife.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“So Minnie will leave her for me.”

“Since that’s never ever happening I’ll tell you. If you ask nicely.”

“ *huffs* can you tell me?”

“What was that?”

“Can you tell me please? And it will happen just you wait for me to be your uncle.”

“That’s- that’s not how that works? And It’s Poppy, Minnie and Poppy.”

“Wait that’s so cute I don’t want to be their home wrecker!”

“Then don’t be!”

“Fine I guess so. I would rather not be in a lavender marriage. With your aunt being the side piece.”

“I think this conversation got off track.”

“What were we talking about?”

“I- I have no idea. This is your fault.”

“Why?”

“Because you started talking about being married to my aunt!”

“Because it’s true!”

“Uh I- *laughs* “

“Moony are you laughing at me? I really love her!”

“ *Laughs harder* “

“ *laughs* stop it moons!”

“I’m *laughing* sorry!”

“You should be *giggles* “

“Did you just-“

“NO.”

“You didn’t know what I was going to say?”

“Wormy and prongs have made fun of my laugh for …”

“Counting?”

“Shut it. Seven whole years! You will not start.”

“I was going to say it was cute.”

“I- uh- mmm, okay then.”

“You okay?”

“Yup. Awesome.”

“ *laughs* Okay then. How was Minnie today then?”

“She was good. We talked about this one sculptor I love, and she does too, I ate lunch with her too.”

“You’ve only been at this school for like two months right?”

“Correct, what’s your point?”

“How are you ready to wife her up? Is it husband her up, no that doesn’t make sense. Wife her up I’m going with that one.”

“It was love at first sight.”

“I’ve not seen her recently I might have to drop in sometime.”

“I’ll be on the lookout for a freakishly tall beanstalk.”

“A beanstalk is definitely taller than me, so I’d probably be the you of beanstalks.”

“Wow.”

“And I’ll ask Dorcas when you’ll be there just to avoid you.”

“Why would you avoid me moons? I’m shook. I’m shocked. I’m saddened. I’m hurt.”

“Yeah, yeah. You know the last time I saw Minnie, like a few weeks ago, she mentioned one of her students.”

“Is it me? Is it me!”

“She said and I quote, ‘this posh prick came in like he ruled the school, I’ve taught him better now, he’s one of my best pupils now’ would that possibly be you?”

“ *laughing* the Scottish accent was amazing and soo accurate. And that 100% sounds like me. I was a dickhead at the start of the year.”

“And that’s changed?”

“Har har. I’m perfectly tolerable.”

“Yes, you’re sometimes tolerable pads.”

“No I’m always tolerable and perfect sometimes.”

“Yeah and I’m the king of England.”

-imagine that one image from ldshadowldays YouTube videos that say several hours later here-

“Well moony it’s been lovely to talk to you but I’ve just checked the time and it is one am.”

“No it’s not it can’t be past- oh my god. How dare you take away my sleep from me.”

“I’m pretty sure you get enough.”

“Sleep is like food, you can never get too much.  I’m pretty sure some inspirational person said that so it’s true.”

“This inspirational person wouldn’t happen to be you would it?”

“I mean me too.”

“Of course, good night moon pie.”

“Goodnight Paddy the Baddy.”

Sat/1.27 moony : {ended call}

Sat/1.28 padfoot : I cannot believe you ended the call without letting me respond to that name

Sat/1.28 moony : sorry padster

G’night mate

Sat/1.28 padfoot: that’s okay moony swoony

G’night mate

My australian accent would be better than ur Minnie impression

Sat/1.29 moony : we’ll have to test that next time

Sat/1.29 padfoot : smooth

night night

Sat/1.29 moony : mmm

Chapter Text

Sat/10.21 : hi is this Lily?

Its James,

James Potter.

Sat/10.27 Lovely Lily : this is Lily.

Hi James, James Potter.

Sat/10.27 Toe rag & don’t forget : Hii

I just wanted to say thanks for you know not hitting me.

I was a bit of a prick in school, so thank you.

Sat/10.28 Lovely Lily : a bit?

Sat/10.28 Toe rag & don’t forget : A massive prick.

Sat/10.29 Lovely Lily : that’s better.

Sat/10.29 Toe rag & don’t forget : Yep.

So I’m having a party later and I was wondering if you’d want to go?

Sat/10.29 Lovely Lily : Why would I?

Sat/10.30 Toe rag & don’t forget : Umm 

Sirius is going to be there who you know, and Mary who I think is in your class.

Sat/10.30 Lovely Lily : I do like Mary keep going.

Sat/10.31 Toe rag & don’t forget : Dorcas is going!

Marlene is too so you could meet her.

We have alcohol and food.

Sat/10.32 Lovely Lily : I’ve got plans sorry.

Sat/10.32 Toe rag and don’t forget : So the whole paragraph was for?

Sat/10.32 Lovely Lily : My amusement.

Sat/10.33 Toe rag & don’t forget : anything for you.

Were you amused? 

Sat/10.33 Lovely Lily : uh yeah.

It sounds fun, wish I could of gone.

Sat/10.33 Toe rag & don’t forget : we can postpone it?

Sat/10.34 Lovely Lily : Why would you do that?

Sat/10.34 Toe rag & don’t forget : so you could be there?

Sat/10.35 Lovely Lily : I uh no it’s fine enjoy your party james.

Sat/10.35 Toe rag & don’t forget : I will thank you Lily.

It was nice seeing you again yesterday

I’ll see you around school?

Sat/10.35 Lovely Lily : Yeah it was nice.

Not at the start though, sorry I was rude.

You’ll see me around x

Sat/10.36 Toe rags and don’t forget : It was good Lily, just like being back at school x

Sat/10.37 queen lils : REM

I think I’ve made a big mistake

Sat/10.38 rembear : YOURE PREGNANT!

its going to be okay junie

we’ll raise it together 

i’ll be its father figure and it will have two crazy aunties and it’ll turn out a genius

Sat/10.39 queen lils : I’m being seriousss

Sat/10.39 rembear : I am too, 

are you pregnant?

Sat/10.40 queen lils : no

Sat/10.40 rembear : have you murdered anyone?

Sat/10.40 queen lils : NO

Sat/10.41 rembear : have you eloped?

Sat/10.41 queen lils : no but

Sat/10.41 rembear : then it’s not a big mistake.

Whats happened?

Sat/10.42 queen lils : I saw James yesterday.

i was in the library and he sat down at the table with me, I don’t think he knew it was me and then he looked up and looked so shocked and said something like Evans?

And then I was really mean to him and tried to leave but then he grabbed my wrist then let go because he thought he might have hurt me.

Sat/10.43 queen lils : And he said that he was a dick for asking me out all the time in high school and apologised.

And then he asked if I would sit back down because I was very smart and he needed help with something.

Sat/10.44 rembear : And the mistake in here is?

Sat/10.45 queen lils : I told him I had plans tonight when he asked if I wanted to go to his party

and I was rude about it too

i don’t even know whyyyy

he was just so happy about everything I wanted to bring him down abit

Am I a horrible person rem???

Sat/10.46 rembear : Junie listen to me.

You are not a horrible person. 

Have you thought about why you wanted to not go to the party and why he is so happy all the time and why you want him to be less like himself?

Sat/10.47 queen lils : no can you tell me?

Sat/10.47 rembear : Have a think, tell me what you know and make an educated guess and I’ll tell you what I think after.

Sat/10.58 queen lils : I think that I didn’t want to go to the party because you won’t be there, and I wouldn’t ask you to go, especially not if it’s mystery man’s party.

Sat/10.59 rembear : go on.

Sat/10.59 queen lils : he’s so happy all the time because that’s how he was raised I met his parents you know, they’re amazing, and he’s always been like that, if your the moon then he’s the sun you know.

Sat/11.00 rembear : okay lils and the last one?

Sat/11.00 queen lils : and I want him to be less like himself because he’s annoying and an insolent toe rag.

Sat/11.01 rembear : can I tell you what I think?

Sat/11.01 queen lils : please.

Sat/11.01 rembear : I think you didn’t want to go to the party because you didn’t want to see him again.

Sat/11.02 queen lils : YES

Sat/11.02 rembear : Because you have feelings for him.

Sat/11.02 queen lils : Noooo how did you get so wrong?

Sat/11.03 rembear : Let me go on.

Sat/11.03 queen lils : sorry hun

Sat/11.04 rembear : Maybe he is happy all the time around you, but no one is happy all the time Lily you know that, so why have you only seen him as happy?

Because he’s always happy when he’s around you because he has feelings for you too.

Sat/11.05 rembear : You’ve told me loads of stories of him asking you out all the time ‘as a joke’ 

But how do you know it was a joke? Did they laugh about it when you said yes? No because you never did, and that’s okay Lily, he was wrong for that, but he’s apologised. I’m not saying go out with him straight away but be honest.

Sat/11.06 rembear : And the last one you want him to be less like himself because you like him for being himself all the time.

And if he was less of the sun, you wouldn’t love him.

Sat/11.10 queen lils : rem when did you get so emotionally mature?

You need to come over now and bring ice cream.

why would we do this over text???

Sat/11.11 rembear : Sorry Junie I’m on my way.

I’ll send Dorcas in too.

Love you xxx

Sat/11.11 queen lils : I hate you.

make a wish love.

Sat/11.11 rembear : You make one too.

Sat/11.12 queen lils : you’ll be fine going hun okay, I love you Cas loves you your mum loves you forget about that fucker.

Sat/11.12 rembear : Lily Evan’s mind your language!

Thank you Junie, I’ll be okay though.

Sat/11.13 queen lils : You will.

Love you  x

Sat/11.13 rembear : I will.

Love you too xx

Sat/11.13 Ruby Remfort : Cas I need you to go to Lily’s room and give her a massive hug.

Sat/11.14 Dorclarice bean : sure

any reason?

Sat/11.14 Ruby Remfort: I’ll send you pictures of our messages,

I’ll be round in like ten minutes.

Good luck Cas x

Sat/11.15 Dorclarice bean : you too x

Sat/14.34 moony : How’s your day going pads?

Sat/14.34 padfoot : very good thank you moony

yours?

Sat/14.35 moony : Had to talk Lily out of a breakdown but it was good in the end. 

Hopefully Dorcas has calmed her down.

Sat/14.35 padfoot : well done?

is she okay?

Are you home yet?

are you okay?

Sat/14.35 moony : Lots of questions 

Sat/14.36 padfoot : I was worried

Sat/14.36 moony : You were fretting?

Sat/14.36 padfoot : shut up I was concerned just the right amount

Sat/14.37 moony : I’m fine, Lily’s fine now. And I’m on the train home, it’s like an hour til I’m home.

Sat/14.37 padfoot : good I’m glad

so have you heard that James and Lily have SPOKEN!

Sat/14.38 moony : Why do you think Lily had a nervous breakdown?

Sorry ALMOST had a nervous breakdown.

Sat/14.38 padfoot : from speaking to James once?

man he’s got no hope 

Sat/14.39 moony : weeeellll

Sat/14.39 padfoot : my boys got hope??????

Sat/14.39 moony : a smidge.

Sat/14.40 padfoot : that’s a smidge more than he had before yesterday!

I need to inform him straight away.

Sat/14.40 moony : Do it and report back, I need these kids to get together.

Im rooting for them.

Sat/14.41 padfoot : okay grandpa beanstalk

Sat/15.02 padfoot : he was on the verge of tears

Sat/15.02 moony : And so were you?

Sat/15.02 padfoot : AND SO WAS I

moony this is going to be awesome

Sat/15.03 moony : yeah it will.

Sat/15.03 padfoot : hey moooooonyyy

Sat/15.04 moony : What.

Sat/15.04 padfoot : you know how you and Lily are very close friends?

Sat/15.05 moony : Yeah, I think i remember.

Sat/15.05 padfoot : and how you know exactly what Lily thinks about James?

Sat/15.06 moony : Get on with it or I’m leaving.

Sat/15.06 padfoot : okayyy

can prongs and I call you now so we can work out our plan to charm Lily Evans?

prongs said ‘moony is a fucking genius Lily actually talked to me?’

Sat/15.07 padfoot : prongs would very much like to talk to you and I would like to talk to you again

Sat/15.07 moony : You can,

Sat/15.08 padfoot : padfoot : YAY

Sat/15.08 moony : BUT,

I'm still on the train so my internet will be spotty 

Sat/15.08 padfoot : JAMES HERE AND TVAT IS COMPLETELY FINE MOONY

CAN I HAVE YOUR REAL NAME PLESAE?

LOVE U BESTIE

Sat/15.09 moony : Maybe if you ask nicely I’ll tell you my name.

Sat/15.09 padfoot : {calling}

”Pretty please moony can I know your name?”

“Will you tell me yours first?”

”Same time?”

”You guys are cute.”

”Shut up prongs.”

”Hey don’t be mean to my best friend.”

”Mooony!”

”Prongss!” 

“Your voice is hot.”

”I uh- Yours too?”

”What about my voice?”

”You sound like you have seven butlers.”

”So does James!”

”Yeah but he sounds like he has seven butlers and he loves them.”

”Thanks moony!”

”You’re welcome prongs.”

”I don’t love this.”

”What pads?”

”Me and moony together?”

”You agreed to this.”

”You even wanted it too, until about a thirty seconds ago.”

”And I think I love it.”

”Should me you and Lily become the new marauders?”

”The new who?”

”Pads you haven’t told moony about the marauders?!”

”No and I won’t, it’s not even embarrassing for you. It isn’t fair.”

”Life’s not, James you’ll tell me won’t you.”

”Course I will mo- *thumps*”

”… um guys every thing alright there?”

”Yes, James is in time out.”

”Right and by that you mean..”

”He’s sitting in the corner of the room facing the wall, and he is staying there for five minutes, not taking and not listening.”

“Right. Of course he is. JAMES ARE YOU OKAY? *whispering* I forgot I was on the train and got loads of dirty looks.”

”James is giving you a thumbs up, you all good there moons?”

”Yes and that’s five stacks for Tuesday James. 

“Are you pretending to be.. a business person?”

”Yes that one thank you. I don’t care that Frank is on holiday, it could be his god damn wedding and I’d expect him here on Mon- okay the guys gone.”

”You got really into character *laughing*”

”This old man was glaring at me, he seemed like a rich knob type person that works for some corrupt company.”

”Sounds like my dad, though he would never be on public transport.”

”He seems like a fun chill guy.”

”Pretty sure he was secretly gay, and sleeping with his co partner.”

”Good for him? I’m not entirely sure how to answer that.”

”Ehh, Anyway more importantly your name Mr. Moons?”

”You’re going to laugh.”

”I won’t laugh at yours if you won’t laugh at mine?”

“Okay. Same time?

”mmm. Three, two- Are we going on one or after one?”

”I take it back, you go first and I promise to say mine after.”

”Okay I will. Um why am I scared?”

”Me too bro.”

”Do not call me bro.”

”Why not man?”

”Shut up. I’m Sirius.”

” *laughing* ”

”Why is James laughing? No I take that back he seems like he laughs at everything. I’ll shut up so you can say it.”

”I already did. Shut up James.”

” *James is now crying with laughter* “

“No you didn’t?”

”Yes I did. I said I’m Sirius, like my name is. Sirius not serious.”

”You- *laughing* “

”Moony you said you wouldn’t! I can laugh at yours now.”

“ *laughing* that is fine. Give me one second.”

”Fineee, I guess.”

”No it fits you, It’s after the star right? Sirius the brightest star.”

”I- *clears throat* yeah.”

”Moony for your information he is blushin- *thumps*”

”Is James in time out again?”

”Yes, yes he is.”

”What was he saying before you put him in time out? I’m pretty sure it was something about you blushing? It’s not because I say you were the brightest star is it Sirius?”

“Shut up now moony. I believe it is your turn now?”

”Those were some conversation changing skills there.”

”I’ve had practice. Your name moonman?”

”Remus.”

“… Remus like the guy who was raised by wolves. Moony! You really are a werewolf.”

”Thats a cool name moony!”

”Get back in your corner prat.”

”Doing that.”

”Prongs get out of the corner so we can actually talk about Lily before my train gets home already.”

”Anything for you moony.”

“Right so the plan moonbeam?”

”Okay first of all James you do love Lily right?”

”Yes, completely in love with her, she’s amazing don’t know how you aren’t really.”

”She’s not really my type. Anyway, I told her that you were in love with her so that’s good.”

”I mean, she definitely already knew. He really wasn’t subtle about it.”

”Hey- No you’re right, carry on moony.”

”Well, she didn’t know about it.”

”How?”

”Well she thought you were asking her out as *clears throat* a joke, but she doesn’t think that anymore I hope. Well I mean I’m pretty sure she does still think that and just told me she didn’t.”

”No, I’m such a dick. She really thought it was a joke?”

”I mean from what I’ve heard, it sounded like a joke, and you sounded like a dick. But I don’t think you are anymore?”

”I feel terrible.”

”Which is why you’re not going to ask her out again.”

”Okay. What should I do then?”

”Keep going to the library, keep talking to her, hang out with her in group settings, be her friend until she knows you’re not a dick. I’ll talk to her too, and we’ll come back for another meeting when you’re friends.”

”Why are you so good at this moony?”

”I know Lily better than I know myself, and I want her to be happy.”

“Well this has all got very emotional very quickly, so Remus, will Lily be in the library right now, Remus?

”Yes Sirius, I believe she will be Sirius. She feels bad about being mean to you James so show her that it hasn’t bothered you.”

”When was she mean to me?”

”I- never mind, I’ve told you way too much and if Lily ever finds this out She’ll kill me and then you two.”

”I’d protect you moonbeam.”

”I don’t think you could protect a chair, let  alone a human being.”

“…”

”Hello?”

”I’m leaving now because of my own free will.”

”Bye prongs?”

”Goodbye moony!”

”Yeah, bye James.”

”You alright Sirius?”

”Uh mmm yep Remus.”

”Oh yeah, I get it now.”

”Get what?”

”Get why you were acting all weird when I said your name.”

“Uh nuh huh I wasn’t!”

”You were.”

”Fine. How long do you have left on the train?”

“I can see my stop out the window.”

”Oh. Okay.”

”Then it’s an hour walk home, and I’ll be really bored so I might want someone to talk to. Know anyone?”

”Really! *clears throat* I mean yeah maybe I might know someone.”

” *laughing* Okay padfoot.”

“Don’t fall off the gap.”

”I’ll try not too. Thank you. Oh sorry.”

“Moony? You okay?”

”Mmm.”

”You sure?”

”…”

”Moons?”

”Sorry there was this kid I knew from high school. Right dick he was. Anyway, I was trying to hide from him and ran into some old man.”

”Right. You alright now?”

”Uh huh, out of the station now.”

”Good. So you know it’s a Saturday today?”

”I was aware but thanks for reminding me.”

“That means it’s a week until you know all my secrets.”

”All of them?”

”All of the important ones, I don’t think you really care that I was the one that stole the ketchup from prongs in year nine.”

”That’s the one I wanted to know the most actually.”

”What a coincidence that I told you then!”

”A big one.”

-time skip-

“Moony? You’ve gone all quiet.”

”Yeah.. *coughs* I’m home now.

“Oh. Well don’t do anything stupid and message me.”

”You’ll be at your party.”

”Best place for messaging people.”

“… I’ll message you.”

”Do you have to go in straight away?”

”I think so, I’m already late.”

”Okay then moons, I’ll talk to you later.”

”Yeah okay.”

Sat/16.56 moony : {ended call}

Sat/17.32 marls : What time are you coming round Dorks

Sat/17.32 Dorky : I won’t come round at all if you keep calling me Dorks x

Sat/17.32 marls : but you will Dorks because you miss mee xx

Sat/17.33 Dorky : My self preservation is higher than me wanting to see you x

Sat/17.33 marls : Are you sure honey?

Sat/17.33 Dorky : Not at all.

I’ll be round in an hour Marlie xx

Sat/17.34 Marlie : Okay honeybuns x

Sat/17.34 Dorky : Okay munchkins x

Sat/17.34 Marlie : I just got the ick

Sat/17.35 Dorky : Why sweetcheeks?

Sat/17.35 Marlie : I think we should stop now.

Sat/17.35 Dorky : Stop what kitten?

Sat/17.36 Marlie : EWWW

Sat/17.36 Dorky : I went too far.

Sat/17.36 Marlie : You think love?

Sat/17.37 Dorky : uh huh

Sat/17.37 Marlie : Did I make you blush love?

Sat/17.37 Dorky : nuh huh

Sat/17.38 Marlie : okay then

I’ll see you in an hour then?

Sat/17.39 Dorky : See you then darling x

Sat/17.39 Marlie : oh

Sat/20.42 moony : Has your party started yet?

Sat/20.42 padfoot : yeah Dorcas and Marlene are here and loads of other people

Sat/20.43 moony : You enjoying yourself?

Sat/20.43 padfoot : yes but I need more booze

Sat/20.43 moony : What are you drinking?

Sat/20.44 padfoot : tequila

Sat/20.44 moony : anddd?

Sat/20.44 padfoot : more tequila!!

Sat/20.45 moony : That's not at all a bad idea.

Sat/20.45 padfoot: that’s what Marlene said!

Sat/20.45 moony : Yea but I was saying it sarcastically and I get the feeling she wasn’t?

Sat/20.46 padfoot: ur no fun

uni is for partying 

Sat/20.46 moony : is it?

Sat/20.47 padfoot: yes it is moony 

don’t question it

Sat/20.47 moony : get back to your party loser

Sat/20.47 padfoot : fineee

but be prepared for some very drunken texst

Sat/20.48 moony : I feel better on this side of things

Sat/20.48 padfoot: good for yuo moonbeam  

Sat/21.07 Ruby Remfort : Be safe Cas. 

Don’t get alcohol poisoning or some other shit x

Sat/21.09 Dorclarice bean : takling to ur myserty man

one fnny guy

u jnow tagt thiugh 

Sat/21.10 Ruby Remfort : Okay Cas. 

Sat/21.10 Dorclarice bean : hes jot tho ur nor goung 2 copw 

Sat/21.11 Ruby Remfort : Great, lucky me.

Love you and tell me when ur home safe if you remember xx

Sat/21.11 Dorclarice bean : ur suvh a swertheart rem 

ill makw suee to tell im ur supr hot 2

Luv u lots xxxxxxx

Sat/21.11 Ruby Remfort : Don't tell him that.

Love you too xx

Sat/21.56 queen lils : how’s your day been hun?

How’s your mum?

Sat/21.57 rembear : Mam’s good.

My day was okay.

Sat/21.57 queen lils : any issues?

Sat/21.58 rembear : No, none.

Sat/21.58 queen lils : Is that the truth or are you just saying that so I won’t worry?

Because I will be worrying whether you tell me the truth or not hun

so maybe you should just tell the truth so I don’t have to hit you when you get home.

Sat/21.59 rembear : Really Junie, it was fine, we didn’t even say hello just co existed in the same place.

Sat/21.59 queen lils : That's still an issue rem.

Sat/22.00 rembear : Could be worse.

Sat/22.00 queen lils : Everything could be worse, doesn’t mean it isn’t allowed to upset you.

Sat/22.01 rembear : Thank you Lils.

So how are you?

Regretting not going to the party?

Sat/22.02 queen lils : No, im fine I don’t really want to go to the party, I think I’d get really drunk and try and kiss James.

Sat/22.02 rembear : That’s a reason to go. You deserve to be happy Junie and I think James could make you.

Sat/22.03 queen lils : Maybe he could, I guess we’ll never know.

He can’t still have feeling for me, I was a right twat and he liked me in secondary.

Sat/22.03 rembear : Atleast be his friend though, if not for you or him, for me.

AND,

Lily I know Sirius’ name!

Sat/22.04 queen lils : YAY!

finally, I was stressing that I would accidentally tell you!

Sat/22.04 rembear : And Dorcas messaged me saying he was very hot.

I repeat DORCAS said he was hot.

Sat/22.05 queen lils : yeah.

What’s your type Rem, I mean who did you last date?

Sat/22.05 rembear : I don’t think I have a type.

Sat/22.06 queen lils : There was Alice dark hair, blue eyes, Benjy dark hair, blue eyes, and then what’s his face Dark hair, blue eyes, piercings.

Sat/22.06 rembear : Maybe I do have a type what’s your point…

Sat/22.07 queen lils : Maybe my point is you’ve found another dark hair, blueish eyes and piercings.

Sat/22.07 rembear : I did know this, except

PIERCIBNGZ?

Sat/22.08 queen lils : yeah sorry hun.

Dorcas is right.

Sat/22.08 rembear : If I ever meet him I’ll die.

Sat/22.09 queen lils : Yeah I think you will.

Sat/22.09 rembear : What the fuck Lily?

You're meant to lie to me and say it’ll be fine.

Sat/22.10 queen lils : But I don’t want to lie to you.

Sat/22.10 rembear : Would it be bad if I asked what piercings?

Sat/22.11 queen lils : from what I know a lot in his ears,

an eyebrow piercing,

and a nose ring.

Sat/22.11 rembear : shiy 

Sat/22.11 queen lils : A spelling mistake rem?

I'm disappointed.

Sat/22.12 rembear : Shut up.

What about James huh

Padfoot says he’s tall and he does sport and he’s good with kids.

Sat/22.12 queen lils : AND HE HAS GLASSES

Sat/22.13 rembear : Awwww

he sounds so cute

Sat/22.13 queen lils : HE IS REM

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DOOOO

Sat/22.14 rembear : Be his friend, see what he’s like now, then decide what you want and go get it.

Sat/22.14 queen lils : I can do that.

thanks hun.

Sat/22.14 rembear : Anytime Junie xx

Sat/22.15 queen lils : Okay rem im going to go to bed.

Try and get to sleep xx

Sat/22.15 rembear : Night night Lils x

Sat/23.43 padfoot: Doecas saud ur hpt

Sat/23.43 moony : That’s nice of her.

How was the tequila?

How much did you have?

Sat/23.44 padfoot : fretring mpons?

Sat/23.44 moony : Yes.

Sat/23.45 padfoot : I onky hda a couplw 

hakf dosens 

Sat/23.45 moony : It sounds like you’ll have a really fun morning tomorrow!

Sat/23.46 padfoot : rwally!!!!!

y?

Sat/23.46 moony : I was

Never mind, have you had fun?

Sat/23.47 padfoot : likw foir tuns 

Sat/23.47 moony : uh huh okay 

Sat/23.48 padfoot : be mpre fun if u wree hete 

Sat/23.48 moony : Maybe another time.

Sat/23.49 padfoot : So bavk 2 wgat Doecas saod 

Sat/23.49 moony : No thanks.

Sat/23.49 padfoot: sje siad u wesr grampa putfits anf big jumpets 

tahts so cyte moons

Sat/23.50 moony : Thank you very much.

Sat/23.50 padfoot : amd them I adked aboit ur guaitar plater freinf amd she jus giglled 

y is tagt 

Sat/23.51 moony : I’m going to have to get Lily to buy her breakfast now.

Sat/23.51 padfoot : huh 

Sat/23.51 moony : Nothing.

Why don’t you go get some water and crisps?

Sat/23.52 padfoot : uh huh 

yep

wanr ice creem 

Sat/23.52 moony : Get some of that too.

Sat/23.55 padfoot : thunk thetes peiple shaggind in mu ropm 

Sat/23.55 moony : What about James?

Sat/23.56 padfoot : 2 fae 

Sat/23.56 moony : You’re such a pain in the arse.

One second.

Sat/23.57 phone boy : Prongs please be sober 

Sat/23.57 prongie : A sober prongs at ur service moon boy

Sat/23.57 phone boy : Can you check on pads for me I was messaging him and he seems very out of it.

Sat/23.58 prongie : No worries but im pretty sure I left him

no he’s moved shit 

Sat/23.58 phone boy : If it helps I told him to go to his room and he said he couldn’t go in there were people shagging in there and he said your room was too far away I think?

Sat/23.59 prongie : That does help moon boy.

I’ll message you when I’ve got him.

Sat/23.59 phone boy : Thanks prongs you’re a legend.

Sat/00.02 prongie : Got him 

he’s asleep now in my room

Sat/00.02 phone boy : Right thanks for telling me

Have fun at the rest of your party.

Sat/00.02 prongie : Eh it wasn’t that fun

Sat/00.03 phone boy : Okay then sleep well x

Sat/00.03 prongie : you too moony x

Sat/00.04 moony : I know you’re asleep now but have a good night.

Sweet dreams pads x

Chapter Text

Sun/10.32 padfoot : ugh

Sun/10.32 moony : He lives?

Sun/10.33 padfoot : I’m not sure yet 

Sun/10.33 moony : Well that’s always a good sign :)

Sun/10.33 padfoot : … are you okay?

Sun/10.34 moony : Yes, why??

Sun/10.34 padfoot : A smiley face!

Even if you used it to used it to make fun of me

who are you and what have you done with moony?

Sun/10.34 moony : I can be happy.

Sun/10.35 padfoot : can you?

Sun/10.35 moony : Eh maybe.

It was a sarcastic smile, I can use emojis ;)

Sun/10.35 padfoot : you can but you shouldn’t moony

You shouldn’t.

Don’t do it moony :’(

Sun/10.36 moony : Sorry pads.

Sun/10.36 padfoot : I accept ur apology 

Sun/10.36 moony : thank you.

Sun/10.37 padfoot : So plans today?

Sun/10.37 moony : Me and my mam are going into town and then I'm going home at five.

You?

Sun/10.38 padfoot : I’m doing art in the morning and me, James, Marlene and Peter are going out for lunch.

Sun/10.38 moony : cool cool cool

Sun/10.39 padfoot : when are you going out?

Sun/10.39 moony : Well, now.

Sun/10.39 padfoot : oh

Sun/10.40 moony : I’ll message you after?

Sun/10.40 padfoot : okay moons 

Sun/15.37 moony : Hey padfoot, you at lunch?

Sun/16 .42 padfoot : I was sorry you okay?

Sun/16.42 moony : mmm yep.

Ay-okay 

thumbs up from me

Sun/16.43 padfoot : sounds like it

Dad?

Sun/16.43 moony : Sort of.

Sun/16.44 padfoot : wanna talk about it?

Sun/16.44 moony : You know the thing he did, it was like a public thing that happened and because I live in a small town, it was the most ‘exciting’ thing to happen for a while. Still is apparently, because me and my mum were getting stares from everyone.

Sun/16.45 moony : And I told my mum we should just go home, but she said no and then this one person who was involved in the thing came up and tried to apologise to me.

I told him he could shove his apology up his arse and walked around for a couple of hours by myself.

Sun/16.46 padfoot : oh moons

Sun/16.47 moony : yeah I just went back like half an hour ago to get my stuff and my dad told me that I should get over it and behave like a sensible adult.

And then we had an argument.

I didn’t even get to say bye to my mum, I’m at the train station now.

Sun/16.48 padfoot : sorry your dad is a complete and utter dick.

He doesn’t deserve you, I’m sorry about your mum too.

How long til the train?

Sun/16.48 moony : A couple of minutes, I don’t think I’ll have internet until I get closer to London.

Sun/16.49 padfoot : Are you meeting anyone at the station?

Sun/16.49 moony : Nah, I’m sure Lils and Cas will be busy. I’ll be fine.

Sun/16.50 moony : Trains here, bye padfoot.

I’ll message you when I can 

Sun/16.50 padfoot : okay moony xx

Sun/16.51 pads : Prongs can i have Evan’s number?

Sun/16.51 prongs : Maybe what do you want her for?

Sun/16.52 pads : I’m worried about Remus I think his dad was a dick to him today so I want to make sure she’ll check on him

Sun/16.52 prongs {Lovely Lily’s number}

Tell me when you know moony’s alright x

Sun/16.53 pads : Your amazing thanks mate 

Ill message u xxx

Sun/16.54 : Hey Evans it’s Sirius from school

Sun/16.54 Evans : I think I remember.

What do you want Sirius?

Sun/16.55 Prick : I was wondering if you were free later?

Sun/16.55 Evans : I’ve had enough from James in school not you too.

Sun/16.56 Prick : sorry Evans your really not my type