Chapter Text
Akaashi looked around.
Was he in a hospital room?
When he snapped out of his stupor, Bokuto pressed the button to call a nurse.
‘Where am I?’ Akaashi asked again, but no one said a word.
Bokuto leaned over him and stroked his cheek. ‘Keiji...’ "
The metallic blue eyes fixed on the captain. ‘Where. Am. I?!’
‘In the hospital. Everything is fine, the—’
‘Where am I?’ he asked, a little agitated.
‘In the hospital—’
‘Why?!’
He froze again. ‘Because you—’
"I know what I did. Why did you bring me here?!"
The nurse hurried into the room, followed by the doctor.
They both looked surprised.
‘Can you remember what—’
‘YES!’ he cried. ‘I know what happened! I know my name! And I didn't try to kill myself for fun!’ His breathing quickened.
Bokuto grabbed his arm, Miyashita sobbed loudly, stood up and moved away from the bed. ‘Calm down, okay?’
‘Let me go! Why won't you just let me die?!’ Tears welled up in his eyes as he tried to pull out the needles.
The nurse held his left hand, Bokuto his right. Akaashi tried to kick his feet to shake them off.
‘I'll be right back. Hold him, he mustn't tear it out,’ said the doctor and left the room.
The setter knew he had no chance of winning against Bokuto's strength, but the nurse didn't have nearly as much power.
He tried to shake her off, but it was no use.
‘Keiji! Please!’ Bokuto cried.
‘Let me go!’
The doctor rushed into the room, a small syringe in his hands.
He headed towards Akaashi, who tried to turn away, but it was already too late.
‘What is that?’ asked the older man.
‘Just a sedative.’
Gradually, his breathing calmed down and he gave up resisting.
Bokuto carefully let go of his arm and reached for his hand instead.
With his other hand now free, he wiped his forehead and closed his eyes. The corners of his mouth turned down and he began to cry.
‘I'm sorry...’
Miyashita sat down on the bed next to him again. ‘Keiji.’
He didn't answer.
‘Why didn't you say anything?’
Akaashi remained in his position. ‘What good would it have done?’ he muttered. Slowly, he sat up and leaned his head against the edge of the bed. ‘Would you have put me in a psychiatric ward?’
‘No, but there are group therapy sessions. You might have met people there who had been through the same thing.’
Bokuto took a handkerchief out of his small rucksack and handed it to Akaashi's mother when she had used up the last one.
‘Thank you,’ she said.
‘I'm just glad I can hear your voice again.’
Akaashi opened his eyes wide and looked at Bokuto. ‘I'm sorry,’ he said again.
Bokuto reached for his cheek again and stroked it. ‘I love you, Keiji. Don't ever do that again, okay?’
The setter looked at him sceptically. ‘I love you too,’ he replied simply.
After the doctor had checked his vital signs, which were back on track, and Miyashita wanted to talk briefly, there was silence in the room at first.
Akaashi sat up and rested his head on his elbow on his knee. ‘Bo...’
Bokuto slowly looked at him. ‘Yes?’
Hesitantly, he leaned forward a little and pressed his lips to those of the third-year student. The latter had longed for this moment and was overcome with joy when this shy kiss turned into a passionate one, which was normal for them.
‘What's going to happen now?’ he wanted to know.
‘What do you mean?’ Bokuto asked.
‘What happens when I get out of here?’
The ace shrugged. ‘I don't know.’
As if on cue, Miyashita returned to the room with a slight smile on her lips. She sat back down next to Akaashi and stroked his tousled hair.
‘Well?’
She gently took his hand. ‘Theoretically, you can choose whether to do nothing, attend a regular support group or see a psychologist, or go to a psychiatric ward.’
Akaashi nodded knowingly. ‘How long would I be in the psychiatric ward?’
‘It depends on how they classify you there.’
‘But I'd like to be home for Christmas,’ Akaashi blurted out. ‘What would you say?’ he asked her uncertainly.
She shrugged. ‘Personally, I'd try it with the group. But it's your decision.’
Akaashi leaned against Bokuto's chest, and Bokuto immediately hugged him.
Bokuto spent every free minute with his friend over the next few days, but instead of crying, they even laughed together at times.
His condition was now fairly stable, so the doctors were able to remove the needles, but he still had to spend a few nights there for observation.
And then he was able to go home.
‘Keiji? How much longer will you need?’ Kuroda asked through the bathroom door.
Akaashi was combing his hair for the fifth time. ‘Not much longer!’
‘It's almost four o'clock.’
He quickly put on his jumper and opened the door. ‘Ready.’
His stepfather laughed briefly. ‘Why are you dressing up like that?’
Akaashi ran to his room with his things. ‘You know me!’
He had just carefully put his things away in his wardrobe when the doorbell rang.
He immediately rushed down the stairs, but his mother had already opened the door.
He heard the friendly voices of Bokuto's family, and Maita even had a bag with a few gifts.
When she invited the four of them in, Bokuto ran towards his friend, grabbed him by the hips and spun him around in the air.
‘AKAAASSHIIII!!’
The setter laughed and held on to his neck so he wouldn't fall down the other side.
‘Watch out!’ he giggled, then put his hands on his cheeks and kissed him.
‘This is the first time I've seen this spectacle!’ exclaimed Yano, and the others present had to laugh, but Akaashi blushed.
‘The food isn't quite ready yet, sorry,’ apologised Miyashita.
‘Do you need help?’ Maita asked.
Miyashita waved him off. ‘It's okay, there—’
‘I'll help you.’
‘Oh... okay, thank you.’
Bokuto set Akaashi down on the floor. ‘It's great that our families get along so well.’
Akaashi snuggled up to him, prompting him to put an arm around his shoulder.
When the food was ready, they all went to the dining table together and sat down.
It was just like when Akaashi had stayed over at Bokuto's for the first time.
Everyone ate, talked and laughed.
He had been to the support group four times in the last two weeks, and he had to admit that it helped him to talk about it, especially with people who had been through similar experiences. It was good to know that he was not alone. He was already able to put this dark chapter of his life behind him a little and look to the future. Bokuto's graduation was coming up soon, and a few days earlier they had started planning what to do next once they had both finished school. The older man made no secret of the fact that he wanted to marry him at some point.
‘Where is your other daughter, by the way?’ asked Miyashita.
Yano grinned broadly. ‘She's with her fiancé.’
‘Since when have they been engaged?’ asked Bokuto, confused.
‘I'd like to know that too,’ said Kinji, his father.
Maita and Yano both giggled, then Yano looked at his watch. ‘In exactly one hour.’
‘Why don't we know anything about this?’
‘Girls' stuff,’ said Maita.
‘Nah, Kosako's just scared of you guys,’ said Yano, giggling, and everyone at the table laughed except Bokuto, who just smiled a little, and his father.
Unconsciously, Akaashi reached for his hand and squeezed it, their bracelets touching.
Yano sighed. ‘And then I come along, still haven't found anyone for myself.’
‘It'll happen,’ said Akio as he shovelled a large spoonful of his food into his mouth.
‘I like you,’ she said.
And so the evening flew by.
‘Bo?’
‘Yes?’
‘We should go inside.’
Akaashi rubbed his arms, shivering, his gaze fixed on Bokuto, who was staring up at the starry sky.
He looked at the younger boy for a moment, then took off his jacket and put it over his shoulders. Bokuto slipped his arms into the sleeves and hid his hands in the jacket pockets.
‘You'll catch a cold.’
Bokuto looked back up at the starry sky. ‘I would have liked to play with you longer.’
‘You're acting like you're dying.’ He frowned suspiciously. ‘You're not, are you?’
Bokuto grinned. ‘I plan to live to be a hundred and thirty!’
A shy smile crept onto Akaashi's face.
‘And after school, we'll be the best team Japan has ever seen!’
The smile disappeared again. ‘Bo.’
He had been putting off this moment for so long. He had been afraid of hurting Bokuto, but he couldn't keep it a secret forever.
‘Keiji?’
Bokuto turned to him when he heard the uncertainty in his voice.
‘I'm quitting volleyball after secondary school.’
He froze. ‘W-What?’
Akaashi looked away. ‘I love volleyball. But I don't only have good memories of the time I played it.’
Bokuto looked him straight in the eye, his metallic blue eyes shining slightly in the moonlight. ‘Oh...’
‘I'm sorry.’
‘It's okay,’ he said quietly. ‘It's just coming as a bit of a surprise.’ He pulled himself together and put on a broad smile. ‘Just another reason why I have to enjoy this last spring tournament with you guys!’
Akaashi laughed, then bit his lower lip shyly.
‘Now get inside, or you'll catch something.’ He pushed Bokuto back into the room where the team was staying. A wild pillow fight had just broken out there, and it didn't take long for Bokuto to join in.
How wonderful it was to laugh.
After everyone had calmed down, the lights were turned off and Bokuto snuggled up to his boyfriend.
‘Keiji?’
‘Yes?’
He kissed him on the forehead. ‘I love you,’ he whispered.
Akaashi smiled broadly. ‘I love you too.’
A few minutes later, they fell asleep, feeling each other's comforting warmth.