Chapter Text
Pure Vanilla pulled himself out of bed, still feeling tired- or at least, he assumed that the strange heaviness in his dough was due to exhaustion. Although he’d not slept terribly. But it could hardly be because of anything else. It was that or someone had stuck a boulder on his back with how sluggish he felt.
He went still for a moment.
He’d almost forgotten about everything from the night before- something about the Light of Truth’s words had shaken every crumb in his body- down to his very soul. It felt like he’d finally come up for air when he hadn’t even realised he had been drowning.
He ran his fingers along the scars that ran down his arms like the rungs of a ladder- scars that now suddenly seemed so… unnatural to have. And permanently etched into his skin, too. He understood exactly why he had them but it seemed now he understood exactly why he shouldn’t have them too.
None of it had ever been necessary.
It was almost ironic to think of how much time he’d spent- wasted- on cutting, thinking there was a chance he might somehow be able to remember if he did. He could’ve used that time to actually remember- but he hadn’t. He’d let despair take over.
And it wasn’t like no one had told him not to. He’d been being wilfully tortured- as both the tortured and the torturer.
He might’ve laughed if that realisation hadn’t been so painful to make- to realise that, if there was one thing he’d been right about, it was that he was wasting their time. Because he wouldn’t listen. He wouldn’t listen to Hollyberry, he wouldn’t listen to Black Raisin, he wouldn’t listen to White Lily- he’d barely even listened to his own light.
He touched a careful hand to his souljam, the gentle light it emitted pulsing as he did- the light was listening, waiting for whatever he had to say.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry it took me so long to realise what you were truly trying to make me understand. I always thought that… you just thought you could ‘fix me’, like I thought of everyone else.” How ridiculous it was to admit that- especially since the light had ‘fixed’ him. It had been right.
Not on its own, of course, but- he couldn’t deny he’d thought about attempting again once or twice since Hollyberry had stopped him. It wasn’t completely impossible that he might’ve been successful… next time.
“I didn’t fix you.”
He hadn’t expected the light to reply- he knew it had been listening but didn’t think it was actually listening enough to bother with a reply. Or that it could- it had only ever spoken to him while he was unconscious for weeks. He’d worried it might’ve been trying to abandon him- though it must just have been more difficult, so he supposed it was a good sign if it could now speak to him while he was conscious also- he wished it might speak to him more, for his own sake. He liked the reassurance that there was always someone to tell him if he might be doing something wrong- though he’d have to make sure he truly listened this time around.
Though he didn’t quite believe what it had told him. “What? You helped me understand- I might’ve- I might not have been here if it wasn’t for that. That was you.” He almost tightened his grip on his souljam from a sudden feeling of stress- though decided he didn’t feel like risking breaking the thing accidentally. And it also hurt a little.
“Yes, that might very well be true. But I didn’t fix you. You fixed yourself by finally listening to me.”
“No- that was everyone helping me- I was just being useless and letting everyone else figure everything else out for me-!”
“But you still chose to listen. No one made you do anything- you ‘fixed’ yourself.”
"I- suppose." He finally admitted, feeling only slightly better about that.
"There's a gift for you on your bed."
He realised that, yes, there was a small box sat at the end of his bed- a rectangular box in pastel yellow with a cute white ribbon bow on it.
He blinked a few times, like he thought he might be imagining it, but upon picking it up, he realised that yes, it was in fact real.
“Hm.? Who’s this from?” He inspected the box, finding a small tag attached to the side. "The Light can't do this, right?"
‘From Hollyberry Cookie,
Figured you might like something to keep you warm… no excuses for not wearing them!’
He frowned, confused on what that was supposed to mean. It was true that he probably needed something now it was getting colder- he didn’t do well in the cold, which was unfortunate considering it got extremely cold in his kingdom.
“Hmm.? What’s she sent me now?” Pure Vanilla finally pulled the box open, finding it full of tissue paper, though underneath that was a pair of long beige gloves marked with little white star patterns. “Oh! These seem nice.”
He pulled one on, finding that it was very slightly too big for his hands, but not minding because they were also very, very comfortable. The insides were lined with white fluff.
The gloves extended almost down to his elbows, which either accidentally or purposely was just about long enough to cover his scars. Actually, they were probably that long on purpose- that was certainly something he knew Hollyberry would've thought about.
He debated on whether to keep them- though if they were from Hollyberry herself, she’d probably notice if he didn’t wear them, so he didn’t have much of a choice.
He’d get Black Raisin’s opinion on these- he trusted her to be honest if they actually looked alright on him or not.
“Black Raisin! Black Raisin! There you are!” It had taken an almost embarrassingly long amount of time to find her, and he was feeling honestly a little sluggish which was strange because despite the nightmare he’d had a relatively good nights sleep. Though no amount of strangeness of that morning compared to the look of complete and utter bewilderment on her face when she saw him.
“Um, Pure Vanilla? Why do you have those?”
That was a bit of a strange question to ask about a pair of gloves- unless it had been made illegal to wear gloves and he just hadn’t noticed- but he answered her anyway. “Hollyberry brought me them! What do you think?” He held his hands out in front of her face, a grin across his face.
Though that reaction only seemed to deepen her frown, pushing his hands away from her face. “What? No- not those-!“
She pointed at something over his shoulder, eyes narrowing. “Where did you get these
He followed her eyes over his shoulder, feeling feathers brush against the side of his head as he did.
Feathers.
Why exactly he had feathers was lost on him.
He moved a careful hand over his shoulder, feeling more feathers on each side of his back, though not directly on his back, no- more like a few centimetres away from his back. Like someone was stood behind him, holding a feather.
Black Raisin’s eyes narrowed.
“Pure Vanilla, don’t tell me you somehow woke up this morning and didn’t notice…” She trailed off, seeming like she was searching for a specific word she couldn’t quite remember, before finally settling on, “Wings. How did you get all the way here without noticing those.”
For a moment he thought she might be playing a trick on him- after all, cookies don’t just get wings. Even Golden Cheese’s weren’t actually real, just a complex mechanical structure her souljam held together. But it was just about impossible to deny the wing-shaped feathered objects on his back.
“Oh- Oh. I see someone’s playing a prank on me.” He finally said, face going completely blank like he wasn’t sure exactly how to be reacting to this. Someone was clearly messing with him.
She raised an eyebrow, and tugged sharply at one wing.
“What- ow! You didn’t have to pull so hard- I just found out two seconds ago that those are sensitive-!” He groaned, running a hand along his back, feeling where the feathered part of the wing connected to his back, making a strange face as he did, like he wasn’t sure whether he should be screaming with fear or excitement at this discovery. He was starting to lean towards fear.
"Well, the best way I could think of to check if they were real or not was to test if you can feel them. That hurt, so-.” She went silent for a moment, looking like everything had only just fully clicked in her brain- he could just about see the cigs turning behind her eyes. "So those are real."
She let her eyes glide from his face to the bottom of his wings that must’ve dragged along the ground as he walked. His wings didn’t seem fake. They resembled the types of wings you might see on a stereotypical angel, white wings that were somehow taller than him and shining brightly in the rays of sunlight that hit them.
She’d pulled out a feather or two from one wing when she’d yanked on it, and momentarily considered what she was supposed to do with it now- she could hardly put it back onto the wing- until it seemed to dissolve in her hand, turning to ashes like a vampire might in sunlight.
Pure Vanilla looked from the dusted remains of the feather in her hand to the equally confused look on her face. “Well… that’s concerning. I don’t think feathers are supposed to combust.”
She let the remains scatter from her hand, raising an eyebrow at him. “You think?”
He raised his hands in front of his chest, shrugging- or, he shrugged as much as he could shrug with the sudden extra weight in his shoulders. “Sorry, stating the obvious.”
He kept glancing over his shoulder, spinning around like a puppy chasing its own tail- to the point where she was starting to worry he didn’t realise that unless he broke his neck he couldn’t possibly look at something that was directly attached to his back.
“You think Espresso will have to look at those?” She finally asked, which thankfully stopped his spinning because he’d started knocking things over on the walls and was getting dizzy.
He thought about that for a moment. “Yeah. He probably would want to anyway since… everything.”
Black Raisin waited for him to continue before realising his face had gone blank again- he’d probably lost himself in his own thoughts again. A concerning habit of his, to be sure.
She still wasn’t quite sure how to feel about the sudden change of heart he seemed to have had- if she hadn’t known any better, she might’ve thought none of the past two weeks hadn’t even happened at all.
She might’ve been worried he’d returned to trying to hide everything like before, but- something felt genuine about him now. It didn’t feel like he was trying to hide anything anymore. It felt like, for the first time in forever, he meant every word he said. Like he’d sincerely gotten better.
He might not have completely looked it on the outside- he was still thin and exhausted and looked a little dead inside- but something in his eyes had definitely shifted. He hadn’t fully regained that spark she’d seen when he’d first revealed himself, that spark that loved to see past flaws and appreciated anyone and everyone- she didn’t think he ever would, not fully at least, but some of it was there. He looked happy. Actually happy.
None of that seemed particularly definite, except for one thing. He was glowing. Only slightly- the type of light you could only see clearly when it was dark- but it was there.
“Do you want to come with me?” He let a small smile creep across his face, wings twitching slightly with something that felt a little too much like excitement.
“You just try to stop me.”