Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

==> Be Unknown Troll

Today, not so long after his anniversary of his wriggling day, we settle on a young man on Alternia within his recuperation chamber.
Or… We would, if the viewscreen would find the right room- oh there he is, no need to change the room then, he was just in the troll bathroom.
This young troll, despite being a little over 6 sweeps old, doesn't seem to have a name! What is his name?
[GAYBOY_ASSFACE]

3 prongs spear through the ui and fling it away before disappearing back into his Strife specibus. Though, he does wobble a little afterwards before taking out a cane to steady himself.

In truth, this young man keeps his name secret from everybody, apparently even us, but he does go by…
[Ikouze]

You are Ikouze, you love singing and poetry and care far too much for your fellow trolls for your own good. To the point that if one of your friends hadn't stopped you, you probably would have made a dumb decision and attacked the one with spider eyes after one of her many violent decisions.
You still feel guilty about giving him that shiner just for trying to stop you.

Your face is quite soft and smooth for a troll. No blemishes, no scars, nothing. But you do have large eyes, which betray your current emotions constantly. Oh and a quartet of horns you're very proud of, quite long. But juuust short enough to not get in the way. Not often, at least.

Oh hey. Someone is pestering you on Trollian. Who could it be?
You sit down your his desk, looking at the screen… Oh great, one of your fellow grey-texters.

Welp, time to get ready to head out to that loud idiot’s hive. Hopefully that last line was just him teasing you again, she lives far enough away that it's hopefully the case.

==> Captchalogue mobile device.
As you capchalogue the device, you groan in frustration at the assigned timer to it- a full minute! Thats like half the maximum duration!

Your Modus is Stopwatch- you can access any slot in your capchalogue, but only one and only after its timer hits 0. You can pause any timer, but they get reset when you do.

When another timer hits 0 while any item already is, the item either resets its timer or is ejected if you for some reason forget to turn that setting off for whatever reason.

Worst part is, it goes by your time perception! If you zone out, it works slower! God, you were never good at time management, but this bleedin’ thing doesnt fucking help!

You sigh as you leave your hive, looking around for a moment before equipping your second strife specibus, your signature cane as you use it to walk easier.

You werent lying to Karkat earlier, you dont need it, but it helps. Always had stamina issues, no matter how hard you tried to overcome that, so this is your compromise to deal with it.

Of course, with how vicious troll society is, it paints a big target on your back, just like Karkat said. You have been attacked by those who support the culling of the weak most fervently before- certainly not often, but not never either.

And just like your lusus taught you, you keep your senses sharp just in case. And your senses are screaming that you’re not alone, despite the quiet, so you put it back into your strife specibus to quell any prying eyes. You can make most of the trek to Karkat’s hive without rest from here even if you rush- at least not until you’re inside. And while you can fight, you really don't want to- takes just one bad move and the reason behind your grey text is exposed, and your odds of culling go from possible to near certain.

Course, that’s why you have a defensive, flexible combat style. But its still preferable to not fight at all, even when you’re sure you’re being followed.
Your legs ache and your chest feels a little tight as you rap your fingers against the door of karkat’s place.

Time ticks on slowly, like a dull ache as you keep your head on a swivel. Paranoia, they’d call it on earth. Here? Probably just a healthy sense of self-awareness.

And the moment the door opens, you barge past Karkat and lean against one of the walls, taking slow, deep breaths, taught by your lusus while they were still around to keep your breathing steady and controlled.

Your head pounds as you steady your breath, barely registering the too-high-octave screaming (“talking”) of the troll next to you. You cant help but smile as you look at him, despite that, the pounding in your head and ears fading away as you finally steady your breathing, the panic from the idea of being followed finally fading.

“FUCK ME, IF I KNEW YOU WERE SO DESPERATE TO SEE ME I’D HAVE SET OUT SOME FUCKING CANDLES” he shouts, though his tone betrays at least a little concern
“Kar… sorry, im just… NOT in a… Not in a Kisemesis mood, man… Phew. Sorry, thought i was followed.” you respond quietly, eyes darting between Karkat and the door before you take your cane back out and stretch your back.
“YOU ALWAYS THINK YOU’RE FOLLOWED! BUT… UGH, GLAD YOU’RE ALRIGHT.” Karkat responds before you sigh, closing his eyes as you press your forehead against his.
You dont know how he considers this a kisemesis, but as long as he’s willing to call it that, so are you. Or maybe you just vacillated at some point and neither of you have acknowledged it. “YOUR FOREHEAD IS GREASY AGAIN- ARE YOU WEARING THAT FUCKING MAKEUP AGAIN??”
“Yeah, always do, you know that…”
“STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY. YOU DONT LOOK ANY DIFFERENT, DO YOU? WAIT, DO YOU? IS THERE SOMETHING UP WITH YOUR HORNS? THEY DONT LOOK QUITE RIGHT…”
“Dont look any different far as i know…”

You and Karkat sigh as you wander to a seat and sit down. You rub your head a little and flinch when you look at your hand.

“Hey, uh, kar… Can you go get me a drink? Anything’ll do, im not… Quite in the clear yet.”
As karkat leaves, you quickly access your sylladex, and pull out a small makeup kit- quickly rubbing some skin-colour-grey on your forehead to hide… something. You put it back away, into the active slot, as Karkat comes back with a glass.
“SO, I ASKED YOU TO COME OVER FOR A REASON- HERE YOU GO BULGE-FOR-BRAINS.”
‘Thanks Kar… What’s the reason?’ you say before taking a gulp, letting out a sigh of relief at the cold liquid…
“WELL, TWO REASONS. FIRST ONE, ME AND THE GUYS ARE PLAYING SOME NEW GAME- WAS WONDERING IF YOU WERE INTERESTED. ITS CALLED SGRUB.”
“Dont see why not- long as my shitty pc doesnt die when i put it in.”
“AND THE SECOND REASON… I WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING.”
“And I want a hundred boonbucks... I'm kidding, ask away.”
“WHY DO YOU HIDE YOUR SECOND NAME?”

Chapter Text

==> Be the young troll

Today, roughly a 6th of a sweep after the anniversary of his 6th wriggling day, we greet a troll in his recuperation chamber!
Though we only see you from the side, seemingly taping something on your head before pulling up a hood. Most jagged surfaces have seemingly been filed down, dulled, throughout the chamber.

Despite being 6 and a 6th sweeps old, this troll has never been given a name! What is his name?

[Paranoid_idiot]

No, thats not right! What is your actual name?

[Gentle Apathy]

Thats right! You’re Gentle Apathy! You’re a quiet, kind troll with an enjoyment of whistles and playing games (not in person, way too physical for you!) with your friends!

Whats this? One of your friends is messaging you! Or… Wait, is it a memo?

These don't end without you screaming at some point in your experience...

And with that, you exit out of the memo, rubbing the bridge of your nose before you stand up. They know that ignoring you presses your buttons way too easy, so why do they always do it? They say you’re too quiet, too timid, easy to do so, when they apologise. But you guess that’s a consequence of your attempts to not have too many eyes on you.
You open your sylladex before humming a small tune, a bottle of Faygo appearing in your hand- you’re not keen on the flavour you were given, but Gamzee got you some, and you arent one to waste anything gifted to you so you’re gonna be drinking it until you run out.

Your Sylladex is Tune, meaning you have to hum, whistle, or do anything in general in the rough phonetic sound of the name of whatever you want to access. Much more convenient than any of the modi your friends use- that you’re aware of at least, ones’ Fetch Modus doesnt often appear in conversations.
You take a drink and groan, shaking your head at the taste. Flavour isn't usually something that turns you off a drink or food, it's more often the texture. Something about it just doesnt settle with you. But whatever, its acceptable enough to struggle through. You lean back and spin in your chair, looking up at the ceiling as you take another swig with a grimace, before standing up, wandering into the main room of your hive- and head straight outside, you need some air.
You lean against the wall of your hive as you nurse at your Faygo, watching trolls and time pass by as you just burn time away.. You yelp as suddenly a troll comes up to you, grabbing your shoulders as you try to squirm away, your Faygo dropping to the ground and rolling away- her face is plastered with the yellow crescent of Prospit, wildly painted on.
“Youuu, yez youuu, i zee greeeat change in youuuur eyez!”
“get off me-!”
“Zhhh- zhhh- Calm and lizten-”
“no! get off me you crazy-”
“In youuuur future, i zaw zoooo much! Zings i waz not meant to zeeeee! Meteorz raining on hiiiigh! Power beyond reckoning! And zoo much suffering- more zan a heart like yourz can take! But youuu will zee… be…”
The strange, maddened prospit dreamer collapses before you, and you panic and crouch down to assess their state- before they grab your collar and pull your head close, whispering weakly, burning through the last of their strength…
“Youu… Will zee great thingz… And on the other zide… Youu will… change… Everything… Go loooong, page… Go looong… zhed your life… upo…n… the ztaaarz…”
And with that, they fall limp- jade blood dribbling from their nose as they lie there. They must have saw something that they shouldn't have been able to understand but did- and went mad.
As your eyes settle on the blood, your heart stops for a moment, shaking as you scramble back to the wall before rushing back into your hive.
You've never been good with blood. Especially not that of higher castes- but at least it's not your own.

You flip your shit when your own blood is spilled. That's why everything's filed down, everythings smoothed. You can't let yourself bleed. You can't.

You CAN'T.
You take a deep breath, bracing yourself against the wall as you take deep breaths before returning to your recuperation chamber.
You hate hiding so much, but it's the only way you know…
Three reasons to hide. Three ways to be exposed. Three ways to get culled.

One of them isn't too bad inherently, but you're in too deep for it not to be suspicious to be exposed. You sigh as you slump back into your computer chair, tapping at the keyboard as you boot up a game.
Another day mostly spent inside, it seems. That woman did rattle you, afterall!

But first, you open your trollian account and decide to pester… everyone, time to see if you're the only one dealing with weird people. Time for a new memo…

Chapter Text

==> Be Caught off guard

“Wha- Where’s this coming from??” you ask, flabbergasted at the sudden question
“I KNOW YOU TOLD ME, AND FROM WHAT IT SEEMED LIKE YOU WERE REALLY FUCKING HESITANT TO, BUT WHILE IT SOUNDED A BIT WEIRD IT WAS JUST A NORMAL NAME FAR AS I COULD TELL.”
“I… Look, there’s a lot about me I want to keep secret. You’re a grey texter, you understand-”
“FUCK ARE YOU IMPLYING?”
“Cmon KK, of the 3 grey texters we know about, we make up two of the fuckers. And we all know, almost nobody but mutants have a reason to hide behind grey text. Besides, you're the only… Living troll that's seen me bleed, and with how you reacted it's kinda obvious, despite how you’ve kept your place on the spectrum hidden, and I respect that… Just… Trust me. I have good reasons to hide things about me.” you told him with a wince and a look to the side. Secrets you'll happily take to the grave, given the chance.
“YOU KNOW, IF YOU KNEW, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY WEAR THE SAME SIGN AS ME. BIT OF A STUPID DECISION TO GO AROUND WITHOUT A SIGN ON.”
“Sorry, thanks but no thanks. I like my sign”
“THAT'S NOT A SIGN, THAT'S A MUSICAL NOTE. THE SAME KIND THAT'S LIABLE TO GET SHOVED DOWN YOUR WIDE OPEN PROTEIN SHUTE IF YOU DON'T STOP REFUSING TO DO SOMETHING TO BLEND IN.”
You let out a sigh and rub the back of your neck. You know he's right, but it's not that simple for you. You don't want to just wear the symbol of something you're not, and you don't want to just rehash his. You… Need something that's uniquely you, if you're ever going to actually have a sign.
“OK, karkat… I'll think about it. But I promise nothing more.”

With that, you just sit there for a while, watching the first troll to ever give you more attention than a noble swatting a rust blood out of their path.
Feels like just yesterday.

You were on the way to your hive when you met him. You quite literally walked into him, you were both distracted. You appreciated his somewhat blunt demeanour, at least for most of what he says, and found his particular use of his exceptional verbosity hilarious.

Unfortunately, that day was the one day you didn't want to be distracted from your alertness. Some trolls managed to get the drop on you. If karkat hadn't interfered, you would have probably died that night. He evened the odds enough, even if still lop sided, to win out.
And that's how he became the only living troll to see you bleed.

And he didn't turn you away, or turn you in. For that, you'll be grateful for as long as long as you live.

You let out a soft sigh as you lean forward, twirling your cane before looking at Karkat.
“Who else is joining us in the game?”
“MOST OF OUR FRIENDS- WAIT, SHIT, NOW WE HAVE TOO MANY ON ONE TEAM.”
“Hmm, guessing if Apathy knew about this he'd have told me… Go ask Gentle about it.”
“THAT'S… ACTUALLY A GOOD IDEA.”
“I like to think I have those sometimes.” you respond with a smirk, letting out a chuckle as he gives you a look before standing to move for his pc, and you follow close behind as you activate your mobile device’s timer to access it, the soft tap of your cane on the floor punctuating every other step.
You watch as karkat sets up the memo, furrowing your brow in confusion at it being a memo instead of a direct message as your active slot changes…

We can skip along until the end of the memo here, we already know how it goes…

“You have to be fucking with me! We have VRISKA??”
“I KNOW YOU HAVE A LUSUS SIZED A HATEBULGE FOR HER BUT YOU DONT HAVE TO BE SO LOUD ABOUT IT”
“My hatred for her is completely fucking platonic! She's more liable to stab us in the back than help us!” you yell before looking away with a sigh. “Sorry, don't mean to yell love… I just don't feel safe around her. Not after what shes done. She's everything I try to avoid. She fucking scares me…” You trail off near the end as you finally admit your fear of her, in a near whisper as karkat moves over, placing a hand on your shoulder.
“She's violent, cruel, and would kill any of us in a heartbeat. Just talking to her feels like traipsing a minefield.”
“YEAH, WELL, IT IS. JUST KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN AROUND HER AND YOU'LL BE FINE. CAN'T EXACTLY KICK HER OUT NOW.”

You groan, holding your head in your hands before standing up.
“I'm gonna head home. Unless there's anything else you need?” you ask as karkat stands next to you.
“AT LEAST LET ME SEE YOU OUT.”
“You don't have to. You gave me a key…”
“I INSIST.”
You smile as you head to the door, pulling it open before you pause.
“WHAT? YOU SEE SOMETHING?”
You turn to look at karkat, before pulling him into a hug
“See you around, love.”
And with that, you break away and head on your way home, hands tucked into your pockets as you try to not rely on your cane. Already had one paranoid experience, you don't need another…
Though, something still feels odd. Not like you're being watched, not anymore. Just… Odd, you suppose. You can't explain it.

You hear a notification come from your mobile before you open it up. Huh. Apathy's made a big memo.

And with that, you put your mobile away, whistling to yourself as you reach your door. Rare things line up like this. Maybe this is a good sign?

Probably not. A headache is looming, you can feel it, and not just the one you have to deal with from miss spider eyes…

Chapter Text

==> be exasperated

You'd hoped the memo would have turned up something. That you weren't the only one noticing something weird. Oh well, maybe you're just being paranoid. Again.

You exit out of the memo before you can have a less-diluted-dose of Vriska. If you knew a stuck up high class was in your wake when Ikou introduced you to karkat and his friends, you might have backed out. But they're mostly fine. Mostly. Not keen on Eridan either, but he's… Marginally more manageable than vriska.

You sigh, standing up and moving to check on a little closet-room.
As of recently, you're the only one in the friend group to still have your lusus, and you're worried because they've been extra elusive lately, hiding in this room- and she's dead.
One of only two living creatures that knew your secrets, and she's dead. You curse under your breath as you shut the door. You can't bring yourself to look at it, to deal with it… You'll just deal with her tommorow. Now only Ikou knows, and even then he only knows one part of it.
Fuck.

You slump back upstairs and slump on your computer seat. You close your eyes and lean back. At least she seems to have gone naturally. Maybe you'll sneak her out in the dark, leave her for nature to claim. You and her used to love exploring beyond civilization. Until one of your secrets was nearly found out. Then you didn't do it so much anymore.

Or maybe you'll just stay inside.
Yeah, that sounds safer.

You stand back up and head down stairs to get a drink that isn't Faygo. And something for some plants you have lying around in corners even you forget sometimes.

You doubt most trolls would appreciate it, too rough, too heavy handed for such delicate things as tending to a green thumb. But you find it helps you relax. Especially after being rattled like today. Not even Ikou gets it, but he respects you enough not to judge. You always liked that about him, his reaction when he doesn't understand isn't disgust or aggression, it's an attempt to understand, or at least a refusal to be a dick about it.

You do wonder if any of the other trolls you know do this.
Is there anyone? Maybe Kanaya, but other than that you have no idea.

Some days, if you were rattled like this, you'd actually talk to Kanaya. She seems to be very understanding. But the Fuschia…
You’d think you'd like her. But you try to avoid her if you can. Can't risk…
Oh fuck!
You were too distracted by your mental predicament and over watered one of your plants!

You groan as you put down the water, pausing for a moment before humming quietly, a paper towel appearing in your hand as you crouch down and dab at the soaked soil- can't risk it drowning. So fickle, these things. Too much water, they die, not enough water, they die… But you suppose that's a natural thing. Everything's fine, but not if there's too much… And therein lies the beauty. A delicate balance upon a pinprick- because that's life isn't it? A billion, billion coincidences all lining up just to create the world you stand on, let alone the people.

Now if only you could take this passion for nature and use it for anything else but fucking games.
Maybe someday.
You glance outside, to see if that crazy jade blood is still laying outside your home. Oh good, they moved the body… You might be able to get yourself to leave the house properly tomorrow. Not that there's anything you really need to do beyond dealing with your lusus…
Huh? Oh, sounds like someone's messaging you again… Time to go upstairs and investigate.
It's… Aradia? What could she want today? You haven't really talked to her much since her, uh, death. That feels so damn weird to think.

You sit down, humming quietly to yourself as you open the chat. Not to access your sylladex, but just because you like to.

And that's too much for you to process, you're done for the day. You liked Aradia while she was alive, you really did, but speaking to her psychic ghost freaks you out almost as much as blood.
You sigh as you stand up from your desk, not even leaving the chat with Aradia before you head back downstairs. Time to fix up some food for your protein chute and sort out everything for tommorow.

You're looking forward to tommorow! Playing games with your friends is always fun.

Chapter Text

==> wake up

You yaaawn as you climb out of your recuperation pod, rubbing your eyes with a mumble. That was a good nap- even if it's another disappointing one where you haven't woken up on your moon yet. Still need to find out for curiosities sake if you're derse or prospi- oh shit it's bright out. You didn't nap, you had a full on sleep.
Shit
You grunt as you climb out of the pod, quickly throwing your favourite clothes on, stretching before heading to your balcony, furrowing your brow as you see something in the distance.
The fuck is that?
You narrow your eyes to take a closer look before you realise.

Meteors.
Distant but closing in fast.
You stare for a few moments before scrambling back into your room, glancing at your pc as you see just a half dozen trolls messaging you.
Seems they're all telling you to boot up the game- what game? Sgrub? But you only said you'd join yesterday so surely the game isn't here yet, and besides, shits happening!!

You don't bother to leave the chat as you leap out of your seat, barging out of your door and throwing yourself down the stairs, stumbling near the end and falling on your arm with a grunt. Don't stop. Emergency, gotta keep moving, until your adrenaline runs dry.
You scramble up and move to your mail slot, pulling the pair of disks in, before looking above the door and hopping- grabbing a backup cane from above the door. For emergencies. It's not in a good way, hence being emergency only, but something tells you that it may come in handy.

You scramble back up the stairs, huffing as your stamina catches up already, slamming a disk in to connect to Kanaya so you can… Do whatever you need to.
Your heart hammers so loud you think you could hear it from across the room, your hands a blur as you quickly try to figure out the ui- you can intuit this, you hope, if things are dire you doubt you have time to fuck around.
You quickly put everything down but the punch designx, don't have any shale, whatever that is, for it.
You glance to your trollian account, quickly opening the chat with… Well. Kanaya, of course, as you put the other disk in.

You hum quietly before you use your mouse to pick up Kanaya’s recuperation pod and abruptly drop it on the Cruxtruder, yelping at the flash of light as the sprite is revealed. You… Suppose you can leave her to handle everything from here? She's a capable one, you're sure she'll manage.
You step back, looking around your room as whoever you are partnered with places everything you need throughout the room. Well, they are much better timed than you.
You glance at your screen, using what Kanaya is doing as a guideline as you pick up the Pre Punched Card, shoving it into the Laithe before rushing to your Cruxtruder, pulling out the cane you grabbed but didn't put in your specibus, the emergency one… Before you pull at its head, revealing a sword hidden within. You make a note to thank Terezi for helping you replace this when it grew dull and worn.

You grunt as you try to wedge the dull blade under the Cruxtruder’s cap, hitting its handle with your palm to get it properly under there. You grunt as you try to use your new wedge to pry it open, the blade flexing with each push you make to get the cap off. With one last push, the blade shatters, a solid inch left under the cap, and you hiss as a shard of metal lodges into your arm.
You clutch it as your vitae spills, gritting your teeth as you rip the shard out and clutch the wound, staring as your ruby red pours down your arm…

Well, if there's any time to bleed, it's now when everything is fucking dying.
You glance up to see your ablution trap held over the Cruxtruder, your…
Fuck, your lusus is still laid in it. You just couldn't bring yourself to move them out of the trap after they crawled in there to die a couple days back.
You Yelp as it's dropped, covering your eyes at the flash of light- and the followup flash as your lusus is prototyped into the sprite.

You uncover your eyes with a gasp, eyes wide as you see the face of your lusus staring back. You just stare, before you notice the time on your Cruxtruders timer- less than a minute. You scramble to it, grunting as you heft the cruxite from its tube, careful not to store it away in your captchalogue as you put it in the laithe, watching as it carves away into an idol which you quickly toss into the alchemixer!

It produces a… Stopwatch? Is this a joke??
You pick it up with your wounded arm, a grunt forcing it's way out of your throat as your blood drips onto the floor from your wound. You press the button and nothing happens except it flashes red.
Then you realise. It's got the same formatting as the Cruxtruder’s timer!
You crouch in front of your Cruxtruder, holding the stopwatch next to it as you watch time tick down. Stopwatch says 1 second, so you think you have to press it when the Cruxtruder says the same or lower. That's one second of leeway.
Gotta be careful. Or you turn to a bloodied mist.
10.
You take a deep breath.
9.
You don't dare even blink.
8.
You clutch the watch tighter, and your other hand clutches your wound the same.
7.
6.
5.
You exhale, time seeming to slow as you focus harder than you've ever done in your life.
4.
3.
2.
One last drop of blood onto your floor.
1.
NOW!
You press the stopwatch, the device's timer flashing green as you disappear, with your hive, into the medium. Just in time.

Would there be any other way for you to do it?
Nah. You don't think so.

Chapter Text

==> climb out of your recuperation pod

You hum to yourself as you hop out of your recuperation pod, having a biiiiig stretch at you put your usual garb on, once more pulling up your hood as you wander down stairs to get the game!
Oh you can't wait!
You grab the pair of disks and examine them curiously. Not the most fancy packaging but it looks easy enough to use.
You hum to yourself as you trot your way up the stairs, inserting both disks one after the other without much thought.

You hum quietly to yourself as you look to your trollian account, leaning back as you wait for someone to tell you what's going on or what to do…
Then you blink at the screen as you see a hive show up, furrowing your brow in confusion, then concern.
Oh no.
It's Feferi.
Oh nooo, the one troll you didn't wanna get stuck with.

You don't dislike her, hell her way of wanting things to happen is a dream for you, but you have a VERY legitimate reason to avoid her all you can! God, how did your friend introducing you to Karkat get you wrapped up with a fucking Fuschia?? You've been trying to avoid royal shit for- oh hell she's messaging you.

You groan and hold your face. This could only get worse if you were dealing with vriska, but being stuck between the pining idiot and the fuschia means this shit can't get much worse…
You yelp in shock as a giant device appears next to you, falling out of your chair before scrambling back upright, brushing yourself down. You fail to notice your hood is down, for a moment, before you quickly pull it up. Fuck. Oh fuck. You hope Eridan didn't notice.

You sit back at your desk, seeing just one message from the one troll you didn't want to talk to.
Fuck.

FUCK.
FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Of all the fucking trolls, in all the fucking world, to find out? This is top 3 worst options. Next being vriska and then…
Her.

You groan and scream into your hands before returning to your screen, quickly placing the items down in areas you think are convenient. You've played many games, some even similar to this, so you have a good idea of where best to put things that doesn't make them obstructive.
You then stand up, examining the giant device next to you, climbing up to get a better look at the cap on the top…
“what is this thing… well, may as well try to open it…”
You place your hands at the underside of the cap and try to push it as hard as you can, gritting your teeth as you try to find purchase.

The cap flies off, landing against the wall with a heavy thud, and you yelp out at the blinding flash of the unprototyped sprite floating in front of you.
You just stare at it for a few moments, tilting your head as it bobs in the air in front of you. You're really not sure what to think about it before you heft the Cruxite Dowell from the spout, examining the violet crystal confusedly. You look around at the other items placed down by Eridan, wandering to the lathe and examining the slot for the Cruxite- swiftly placing it in with a hum.

You feel the cursor jab you in the back of the head as you turn to face it with a confused look before it drops the pre punched card onto the floor. You quickly scoop it up and look for the card slot at the cursor runs off to find… Something. You have no idea what he's doing as you insert the card, watching as the dowel is carved by the device…
Wait.

Is that your lusus?? What is he doing with your lusus-?!

You yelp at the ensuing flash as your lusus is prototyped into the kernelsprite, and you gasp as you see your lusus floating there, reaching a hand out to touch them as they float about…
Of course, you come back to your senses with a blink, turning to the carved dowel as you look around for where it's meant to go, before watching as the Sgrub cursor picks it up and places it on the large machine.

Your heart sinks as the machine produces what looks like a face, one you'd hope few people recognise, before what looks like a tiara is dropped onto the disk.
You hesitate as you pick it up, glancing around confusedly before you try to pry it apart, getting minimal flex from it as you try, before you give up with a huff.

You really don't want to, reminds you too much of something you've tried to reject your whole life, something not even your moirail knows about…

You take a deep breath as you slowly lift it over your head-and put it on, your home disappearing in a flash of light as it and you disappear into the medium forevermore…

Chapter Text

==> be bleeding out

You grunt as you stand up from your crouched position, still gripping your arm tight.
You're still bleeding. Badly. And you dont have any way to stop the bleeding, not that you can think of.
In fact, you already feel…
Woozy– oh shit!
You yelp as you fall back, hitting your head and back against the wall like a sack of bricks. Fuck, you dont feel good. Maybe you should just… Rest your eyes.
Yeah. Just rest for a moment. You'll be fine, you're sure…
Huh?
What's that noise? Sounds like a Trollian notification...

You groan through the growing haze of blood loss related exhaustion, furrowing your brow as you try to focus.
Thats right, you were playing a game with your friends…
A game that just saved you from a meteorite.
You must be dreaming, that's not possible.
But… What if it is?
A thought echoes through your head, one that always manages to get you to fight harder, longer, whenever you realise it.

A friend needs you.

You groan as you try to stand, feeling worse than what gets shoved down a load gaper, slumping back against the wall as you huff quietly, your face paling under your makeup from the growing void of scarlet vitae that should be filling your veins.

You barely register the face of Kanaya on your Sgrub viewscreen waving for your attention.
And that's enough.
You grit your teeth as you try to force yourself to stand, demanding through subjugation that your body obey your mind even through this struggle!

You manage to get upright, pulling your cane out and using it with both hands as you limp to your computer, gritting your teeth as you limp along.
You manage to slump into the seat as you pull yourself in to the desk, eyes half glazed as you look at the message window.

There's a few moments of pause. You know she's reluctant to accept your imminent death. Too good hearted to give up. You always liked that about her-something you have in common.

You tremble weakly as you look at the Sgrub screen, you need to focus. You aren't surviving, you know that, but you'll be damned if you're gonna let anyone you care about die because of your ineptitude!

You grit your teeth, hard enough that you swear you hear one crack even if you can't feel it through your adrenaline and willpower fuelled numbness, to keep you focused through the growing haze as you build up Kanaya’s house, trying to get her as high as you can, as close to that gate as you can before…
With a spark, your mouse gives out, drowned under your fleeting life essence.
You stare, hands trembling as you weakly type with your non-bleeding hand.

You press the tab key a few times to highlight karkat's chat, and you slowly press down on the enter key to open it.
You're running out of time…

You struggle to breathe as you send that message, tears welling up in your eyes as you struggle to stay conscious, to stay alive.
Your duty to your friends, to your Karkat, is too strong for you to just give up. But this? A half-life, willing yourself to stay just for a few moments longer as your body shuts down system by system?
You can't hold on like this.
You need him to let you go.
Your hand falls limp by your side, unable to work up the strength to even twitch as you stare at the screen.

There's a pause of a few moments as you lie slack, just staring as you try to do as he requests, to hold on as long as you can. But your will can only do so much- your body cant last forever.

You release a breath you didn't even realise you were holding, your heartbeat slowing as your body finally stops fighting the inevitable. You almost forgot he knew your second name. It feels alien reading it. Your vision grows blurry as the shadows close in on all sides, and with the very last of your strength you force your hand back to the keyboard, typing one last message- several seconds lying between each letter.

You finally lie back, the last of your strength spent as you finally let unconsciousness claim you, knowing you'll never awake again.

Your life wasn't a long one. Or a good one by most metrics. But it was your life, and you loved it every step of the way. And you cant help but be grateful, because you knew love. Black as the space between those beautiful stars.
You wouldn't trade a day of it, for anything.
You hope you did enough. You hope more than anything.
As more and more of your body shuts down, your mind wanders one last time.

You wonder if you'll finally see the moon before you pass, if you'll finally wake up in the brief moments between unconsciousness and death. One final answer you've wanted all your life.

And with that, you close your eyes.

Dead

_______________________

==> be unknown figure

You appear on the balcony of a hive, transparent cogs dissipating around you, one hand gripping your gut as you enter the room attached to it.
You see a young troll, just a little younger than you, dead, at his computer.
You slowly walk over, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“You're not done yet. So… Wake up. Wake up, and smell Derse.”

You crouch down, pulling the dead troll into a kiss before pulling away and spitting to the side.

“God you really need a better brand of makeup, that tastes like ass…”

You ruffle around through a drawer to get ahold of a spare mouse, pulling the old one out and tossing it away before you stick the replacement in, quickly finishing up the route to the gate for Kanaya, quickly placing some barriers around the edges to stop any risks of falling if an imp gets pushy.

You slowly pick up the body and carry it away. Some things would break causality if found, and this body is one of them.
Needs to be burnt.
And you just happen to have the perfect weapon for that.

Chapter Text

==> regain your senses

You groan as you regain your senses, refamiliarising yourself with where you are as you stand up and walk to a window, looking outside.
You gasp in shock as everything seems to be gone, everything beyond your hive, a horizon as far as you can see- green and beautiful.

Land of Growth and Vines

You step away from the window, trying to keep your breath steady- to prevent yourself from being overwhelmed. A LOT has happened in a short time, and your moirail aint here to keep you calm and collected…
Ok Gentle, breathe. What would Ikouze do?
… Something impulsive because he “never has the time to think”, probably. That's why he needs you.

You take a slow, deep breath, letting it go as you turn back to your pc. You slowly sit down. Take it slow, don't rush. Shouldn't get overwhelming if you’re careful.

Oh who are you kidding you’re gonna get angry aren't you, you’re stuck with the noble jackass who represents almost everything that you hate about Alternia…

You furrow your brow confusedly as you slowly move towards your door, accessing your strife specibus and taking a crossbow into your offhand before opening it and aiming down, now hearing commotion from downstairs with one less layer between you and it.
You slowly creep downwards, careful, cautious. Measuring every step until you reach the bottom, and slowly creak the door open, peeking through to see what the source of the noise is.

You furrow your brow as you see the imps scurrying about the room- you aren’t sure what you’re looking at, especially not when one of them pulls the door open, giving you a shock as you scramble against the stairs, strut pods kicking out as you get some distance before firing your crossbow at it, staring at it explodes into grist.

You rush your way back up to your recuperation chamber, leaning against the door to keep it shut as you feel the imps slamming against it as you look around in a panic, not sure what do you as you feel the bumps move you further and further every time they do.
You quickly swap to your other card in your strife deck, a wooden cudgel appearing in your hand before you leap from the door.

Cludgel’s your weapon for when you’re forced to get up close. A blunt weapon is far less likely to cause blood to spray out and make you freak. Still can, of course, but when you’re as fucking shitscared of blood even as far from your own place on the spectrum as rust, every little helps.

As an imp lunges forward for you, you let out an uncharacteristic roar before swinging, the wood impacting hard against the creature in midair as they burst into grist.
You aren't used to combat even with your strength, let the lack of resistance after hitting the disappearing imp, so you stumble to the side, nearly falling as a couple other imps storm their way into the room.

You shake your nugbone as you regain your balance- thank god these things don't leave blood behind, or this would be rough.
You glance up as you see the cursor holding up your Hunger trunk, dropping it on one of the imps, squishing it and distracting the other as you lunge forward, slamming the cudgel down with enough force that you do actually fall over after the imp vanishes. Apparently, he doesn't want you to actually die, despite his hostility.

You grunt as you stand back up, brushing yourself down as you look at all the grist, wandering around to pick it up.

Oh, hey, you raised a couple echeladder rungs. From… Greentike to… late-wriggler and..
Oh, you gotta be kidding…
“Greengills”. Your trollian handle.
… Har har. You’ve never really looked at your echeladder before, so the coincidence is out of the blue to you. Clearly whoever made this has a sense of humour you don't appreciate.

Though, you do appreciate the rewards. Even if you dont really know what most of it means? You feel a little stronger.
Not that it was a concern in the first place.

You take a breath as you look around, hearing things move about as Eridan builds up your hive. Feels weird to have the walls you knew so well warp and change around you, even if you dont see it all yet.

And yet, despite your trepidation and fear, you feel like everything is gonna be good.
This is just the beginning of a new story, afterall!

__________________________________

(CW: death. Couldnt put this earlier for spoilers sake, sorrryyyy D:)

Cold.

You feel… Cold.

Its been weeks since this journey began.
You’re lying in the dirt. Cold.
So cold.
One eye barely creaked open as you look out across the small area where you lie.
You count 12.
12 friends lying with you. A rainbow of colors painted across the field.
You didnt think things would end like this.

You watch as your last friend standing stops fighting, mentally defeated at the sight of you as you are.
Promises he made to you invalidated, in the end.

You hope he makes it.
He has to…

“ik…ou…ze…” you whisper to yourself as you watch… You arent as strong as him. You cant fight this…

Your open eye glazes over as the light leaves it and you lie there, lost amongst the graveyard that was once your party.

dead

Chapter Text

==> Ikouze- Rise again.

CW: Kinda sorta body dysmorphia, death, blood.

Your eyes flicker open.

You were right. You did finally wake up, in the brief moment between unconsciousness and death.
You slowly look around from your prone position, taking in all the details around you.
You never much cared for purple, but this shade isn't that bad.
You close your eyes once more, ready to go as your real body dies…

You gasp as you lurch upright, gripping your chest as you’re revived in your dream body, eyes wide as they shoot around the room to figure out what happened.
You’re awake, you’re alive. How? That shouldn't be possible… You’re no psionic powerhouse like Aradia, so how are you still…

Its only now you realize something isn't right. You look at your skin.
Where you expect grey to meet your eyes, a stark white stares back at you.
You clamber out of the bed as you realize your disguise- no, your true nature is missing, brown, no longer hidden eyes wide with horror at the realization, heart hammering out of paranoia of being seen like this. This isnt who you are anymore, its not, you’re a troll- you ARE a troll! Toby is dead, he wasnt strong enough to survive on Alternia, Ikouze is all that’s left… And then you see something odd. Odd enough to grab hold of your attention from your spiraling panic, at least for now.

In front of the door to the room, a canesword embedded into the floor, surrounded by a handful of capchalogue cards. And a note pierced in the middle of it.

You pick up the blade and pluck the note off its edge, examining it with a furrowed brow.

“Clean yourself up” it reads. Writing looks familiar… But you cant place it.
You hum confusedly before looking at the cards across the floor, gasping as you realize it has all you need to get yourself looking how you’re meant to!

You spend the next few minutes using and waiting to use the cosmetics with your damn modus slowing you down.
A pair of cosmetic contacts that give your eyes the yellow sclera troll youth are known to have. Though, not the most conducive to seeing well, you manage just fine.
A headband with a pair of horns- on both sides.
And of course- an abundance of grey makeup and bodypaint. Also a little bit of white for around the eyes. Gotta lean into it or people get suspicious at blemishes.

You let out a relieved sigh as you examine your body, giving your headband a slight adjustment to make sure its hidden under your scruffy head of hair. You make a mental note to thank whoever left all this for you if you find them. Odd though- everything is exact, and far as you know? Nobody on Alternia knows your original nature. And earth doesn't exist to know it either. Never even told Karkat…
Wait
FUCK! Of everything left for you, a means of messaging Karkat isn't amongst them! You cant let him know you’re ok!
Or, well
As ok as a dream self ghost can be you guess?
Time to get moving. Gotta see if you can find a way back home, to your team…

_________________________________

Its a bloodbath.

Took you about a week to find your way home. Never let it be said that you’re lucky. And even with weeks to work with, to make new toys and grow in power, it wasn't enough.
You never figured out how to use whatever powers you’re supposed to have.
Maybe that’s why you lost.

You’re still standing, gripping a blade that's stabbed into your gut, staring up at the fanged visage that just wiped out everyone you cared for.
You feel…
Tired.
You came this far, just to stumble at the finish line.
And then you hear it.
A weak voice. A voice you know well.
Whispering your name.

You glance back to see him as he fades away, your own eyes wide in horror. You’ve already lost everyone else, the painful rainbow of bloodied paint surrounding you a permanent reminder of what happened to them.

And then he’s gone.
Your first friend.
Your closest friend.

You can't fight anymore.

You close your eyes as your grip on the blade that threatens to run you through loosens. You can't win anyway, especially not alone, so why would you bother fighting?

But then you hear something else. Another familiar voice.
“GET OUT OF HERE!”
It sounds like… You?

You and the monster that has your gut stabbed look up to see what appears to be you- paler from the wound probably, seemingly maybe an hour or so older, falling from the sky, canesword unsheathed and swinging.

You gasp as the beast pulls its blade out of you and turns to counter the attack. You stare for a moment, confused, unable to properly register the command yelled at you. How are you… He… Here?
You realize you’re staring and turn to flee, mind racing as you try to remember a way to get back to your planet…

You cough as you lean against the wall of your hive, a hand gripping your wound. What the hell was that?
Fuck, why did you bother running? Was that really you? Why would you still be fighting?
What reason would you have..?

“Rough day, huh?”
You yelp as you draw a dual trident from your strife deck, with one hand holding your wound you cant really unsheathe your canes so this is your only option. And you see.. Yourself, again.
Not as pale as the one who attacked the bastard, but still a little paler than you are now.

“Who the hell..?”
“Yeah. I was just like that not 10 minutes ago. Weird aint it?”
“How are you..?”
“You’ll figure it out… By watching me, I guess? Time loops are pretty confusing.”
“Why do we…?”
“Try? Well, im still figuring it out. That one that saved us had the motivation to. Gotta see why we throw caution to the wind like that, don't we?”

That gives you pause. That's true, hell it's obvious when you think about it, why would the one that saved you bother trying, unless they had a reason to?

You take a breath, eyes following the minutes-older version of you as he moves to the alchemixer, tossing a totem in and creating something that they toss over to you- with a punched card.

You catch what they tossed at you, brow furrowed- looks like a cane sword, but... Not one you’re used to. The shaft is smooth, beautifully so, seemingly made of a reddish wood and yet firm enough that even with how far you’ve reached up the echeladder it has no give. The seam where the handle of the blade meets the scabbard is more distinct than you’re used to, easier to notice from a distance, but that’s not where your eyes are taken.
The handle has a design you cant help but be drawn to. On all sides of it, are large cogs that stick out- some even seem to float just next to where your hand would naturally grip it. And those that arent, while you doubt it’d be the most comfortable grip, would certainly help with preventing slippage, an issue you have had before.

You then pick up the card, examining it for a moment before looking up.
“What is this?”
“The code for that weapon. You’ll need it to keep this loop stable.”
“How did you get..?”
“I got it from me. Uh. You? God i can see why i was struggling to explain it when i was in your shoes.” the alternate you sighs, resting his own copy of the weapon on his shoulder. “Time for me to head out. Think i figured out where i go next. G’luck, uh, me.”
And with that he steps to the side, hand moving from his wound to grasp his own cane and pull the blade free. And so you get your first look at it.

A flawless white sheen, with a smooth fuller down the whole length. Of which is just shy of the whole length of the cane itself. You’ve used many canes and their associated blades over the years, and you have to say, this one’s the most beautiful you’ve ever laid your eyes on.

You gasp as he swings it at the air, the tip seemingly slipping into the air and gliding through, the sliced seam splitting open and causing a transparent cog to appear in its place. The older you takes a breath, before stepping through. And both he, and the cog, dissipate into the ether.

You stare, slack jawed for a moment before shaking your head, slowly pulling your own blade free. It feels… Perfect. Like an extension of you. It pulls at parts of you that you dont know, seemingly drawing power from you and yet seemingly filling them in return. You’re not sure what to think.

You raise the blade and swing down at the air, grunting as you feel the blade struggle against whatever you’re cutting through. It feels… Tough. Like cutting through steel. The blade struggles as you keep trying to force it through.

You growl as you grab the handle with both hands, adjusting the grip- until the alignment of the blade lines up, and it slides through the rest…

You stare for a moment as the semi-transparent cog floats in front of you, hesitating, before you jump forwards and slip through…

Chapter Text

==> Ikouze, seek Denizen

CW: Death

You avoided your denizen this whole time.
Didnt want to risk it.
But now, on deaths door? Maybe an hour to keep going before you pass on?

There’s no point avoiding it.

You take a deep breath as you wade your way through your world. The Land of Extremes and Books. You never liked this place. Avoided it when possible. One moment its frigid cold, next its steel-meltingly hot. And you always found the giant poem books unsettling. You looked inside some- closer to Slam poetry than true poetry. Not your style.

Thank fuck you can just get up to the gate.
The one advantage of having little time left?
You dont have an excuse to take your time. Not that you ever do. So you move as fast as you can.

Even with that, it takes you a good half hour to reach the gate. Still never figured out who was your other player… Though, in hindsight, you have a good guess. Since time seems to be your domain, you must be your own server player. Only thing that makes sense now.

You take a deep breath as you hop into the gate leading to your denizen, looking around as you reach the other side. Much easier to cope with than the rest of your land. You dont know what you’ll face down here.

But you cant hesitate now. You must follow through on your chosen namesake.
IKOU ZE!

You charge into the chamber of your denizen, hand on your cane as you try to find them
And then you do.

A blinding light strikes your eyes, raising your free hand as you try to see through the bright haze. This must be your denizen.
A titanic creature, snaking throughout the room, with a light-obscured face staring down at you.

Yaldabaoth speaks, and you listen.

The god of monsters offers you a choice.

You were never meant to be involved.
You are a third party- an unexpected variable.

So you have two options.

You bow out- leave the narrative. Let the story play out. But the survival of your friends is not guaranteed- not all of them. And the death of your Moirail would be certain. A sacrifice of grand proportions, for the sake of a hope that some of them will make it. The path of surrender.

Or

You persist.
Guide the next in line before returning to save yourself and sealing the closed loop.
You will never taste the nectar of your reward, you are doomed, but one day, after who knows how many of you willingly throw their lives at the grinder for this same dream passed on, one of you may stand at the end with everyone you love by your side. The path of the Chain.

You like to think you gave it thought. But since when was surrender in your vocabulary?

==> Ikouze, Choose.

You take a breath after you make your decision. You feel a weight grow in your chest, waying down your heart- no, sorry, your blood pusher.
You know it isnt a real weight. An illusion, because you know what you’ve done. But you feel it regardless.

A chain wrapped around your heart and throat- only a single link large. A burden to pass on. How many will you pass this on to?
How many will your resolve be heralded by?

You, as the first, will be the weakest. And yet, you will be heralded by all to come.

You will earn that. Not just claim it.

And with that, you take your leave.
You now understand why you still fight.
And now you have some things to deal with.

Gotta patch some holes in your causality. Help Kanaya get to her gate, leave equipment on Derse, build up your hive…

And save yourself.

__________________________

You take a breath as you step onto your balcony. Or, your younger self’s balcony.

You step through the door into the recuperation chamber, gritting your teeth and cursing under your breath as you see yourself.
Too late, damnit.
You watch as your hand slowly types out our final words to your ex before you go to Derse.
You miss him.

You slowly step closer, watching as your own eyes turn to look at you.
Fucking hell, how much difference a few weeks make. Even here, dying and weak, you seem so much less… Exhausted, if that makes sense despite your dying state.
You arent a life player, you cant save him. Maybe if you got here sooner, you could, but that’d be a goal for those more capable and trained than you. But you can ease your own passing, and prepare you for what comes next.

“Dont fight it. Just take deep breaths- slow your heart rate. Make you last just a little bit longer so i can talk to you.”
The dying version of you shudders as he takes his breaths, tears pricking the corners of his eyes, smudging the poor guy’s makeup.

You crouch a little to be eye-level with him, before taking out a notebook and leaning your new weapon against his desk.

“This is for you. For when you get back. Because you will.” you explain with a small smile.
“Things will be rough, and you’ll struggle, and you’ll likely end up like me but you’ll try. And you’ll get further than i did. And that’s all that matters.”

“You’ll pass on what you learn to the next, and the next, and the next. For that is our duty.”
You close your eyes as you immerse yourself in thought for a moment, before reopening them, a blazing spark of determination glinting behind your wide open orbs.

“One of us will reach the end. One of us will get our happy ending. I promise. And that is why we’ll fight.”

With that, you reach forward, placing a hand on your younger self’s shoulder. Once they pass, you’ll set up their basic equipment on derse, like you did for yourself, and then… Its your last stop. Time is running out.

Do or die.

_______________________

You reappear in the air a good distance above the fight between you and Jack. Falling, cane in hand. Just the generic one, you gave all the fancy shit to your successor.

So this is how your story ends. With a bang.

You wonder if your fathers could have foreseen this turn of events when you took your first breath in that hospital.
Probably not.
But you do hope…

That they’d be proud.

Ikou ze.
Lets go.

You roar out as you approach at high speeds, rage in your eyes as you swing down into Jack’s blade, yelling your order and watching as your younger self flees.

Its time to go. But you’ll give this fucker all you have before you let him claim you. That is your promise.

You wonder what comes next as you clash blades, the sheath of your cane deflecting some of the blows, though each time you thrust or slash you hit nothing but air.

Will something come next for you?
Will you be remembered?

You dont really care about that, but at the same time the idea of just… Disappearing forever? It hurts. It’d mean your pain was for nothing. Your efforts to be forgotten in the endless sea.
But that is your burden. Your cost.

One last attack swings at you. You’re too slow to deflect it, and too weak to withstand it- even if it wasnt going straight for your throat. You’re just fast enough to see it coming.
You close your eyes, hoping you bought enough time for the loop to be stable..
Before it cleaves through,
And you are lost forever.

__________________________

You are the 6th in line. You slowly flex your bandaged up arm- the previous one managed to get back in time to stop you bleeding out. Apparently, that’s taken more trial and error than you’d hoped. You slowly flip through the notebook- heeding warnings of what not to read, yet, so you dont risk shattering causality and making this “chain” all for naught.

You hope that surviving here will be enough to make it, if what little they told you meant anything…

Chapter Text

==> Gentle, explore your land

CW: Blood, hemophobia

You rub your neck as you wander through your land, constantly glancing over your shoulder. This place is… Very vibrant. You’re not used to such bright colours, and certainly not the general… brightness of your domain.
Its thankfully toned down, filtered through the branches and leaves- but especially the enormous vines hanging off of them, of your giant tree littered land. Though you still dont like the violet colours of those very leaves, too close to…

You flinch as you duck behind a tree, glancing around it as you look at the giant creature trudging around. Oh you don't like this. You’ve avoided most of your imps, and especially these things. Very good at staying unnoticed. Of course, as a result you don't have much grist, and you have not raised very high up your echeladder, but you can make do with what you have so far, you’re sure.

You move from tree to tree to avoid being spotted. You don't know what to do, or what you’re looking for. But you hope you can find… SOMETHING without having to fight.
Your Moirail wouldn't approve. At least, he wouldn't let such things that have a chance to threaten you stick around. He’d either kill them, or chase them off.

You sometimes wish he wouldnt be so impulsive, but you get it- you both hide things, you just have drastically different ways to keep it all hidden. He fights to protect himself and others- you hide to protect yourself.

You hope to find a way back to your hive soon. Much as you like the nature around you, you feel like you’re vulnerable- and so damn lonely. You haven't had a single message ping your device as long as you’ve been wandering. You don't want to impose on others, so you haven't messaged anyone either. You’re sure they’re busy.

Oh fuck your nook with a knife.
The big thing just spotted you.
And its fucking incOMING-!

You leap to the side as it tries to grab you, barely avoiding its grip as you pull your crossbow out, firing at its arm, causing it to recoil, even if the bolt doesn't sink particularly deep into it. You gotta get away- you’re not a fighter, you gotta Abscond!

You dash between trees, following your instincts and hoping they don't lead you wrong! You hear…
Running water! A river- and rivers lead into bodies of water! You can swim away!
And you follow that path, glancing back to see the big fella- and lots of imps following suit. That's not good.

You pause as you reach the pond the river leads to. The water is murky, hard to see through, but you can't exactly be picky!
You captchalogue your hoodie, don't want to ruin your favourite clothes, before diving in.
You don't swim often, but you were born to.

You move through the water like a… Well, a fish to water.
Your seldom used gills work their magic, letting you breathe, as you look back to where you breached, watching the large hands of the beast sweep around to find you. Thankfully you’re a good dozen metres away.

As you float under the water, you breathe deeply. You forgot what it's like to immerse yourself in the deep calm of water. One of the few places quiet enough where you can pause and take time to relax.

You slowly swim back up to the surface, peeking the top of your head out to see if the underlings have dispersed.
They sort of have- they aren't all clumped up together, but they are fanning out across a solid third of the embankment. Better resurface on the other side of the water. Just to be safe…

You cough a little to empty your bellowsacks of water- don't like the feeling of breathing both air and water at the same time. Supremely uncomfortable. You imagine it’s like how air-only trolls feel when they nearly drown, just… Much milder. Might just be because you never go in the water, for all you know others that do it might have outgrown the problem when young. Or maybe its just one of the curses of your… Particular issues. You shake yourself off, but opt to not put your hoodie back on. Not until you’ve dried off at least.

Oh? Is… Is that someone messaging you?
Anything to break the loneliness!

You blink as you stare at the chat log, furrowing your brow at the order to duck- before yelping as you do just that, barely avoiding a huge hand- this damn thing is still on you like flies to untended mammoth leavings! Oh fuck you’re cornered!

You pull out your cudgel and slap at its hand, hoping to deter it long enough to find an escape route. It recoils, clearly hurt, but in the end its just an unalchemised cudgel. It isnt enough- the beast throws a hand forward, colliding against your body and sending you flying. You thud hard against a particularly large tree, coughing violently from the vicious impact.

And you keep coughing until there’s a splash of colour in front of you.
A colour that terrifies you.

You freeze up, unable to bring yourself to move beyond your coughing fit as you stare at the colour, hoping the filtered light through the leaves above are playing a trick on your lookstubs.
No.
Your eyes aren't lying to you.

The deepest colour that could have been.
Your blood.

Your heart sinks to your stomach, a deafening ringing quickly consuming any dreams of hearing your surroundings, your vision swimming as you see the puddle of fuschia spreading across the greenery beneath you.

You cant move, cant bring yourself to, as a shadow casts over you, a pair of fists raising to flatten you to paste…

The fists dont lower. Instead the beast falls over, turning into a cloud of grist before something falls next to your head, attracting your attention for a moment. It looks like…
A cudgel. But instead of being smooth, like yours, it appears to be made of gnarled wood. And yet, it twists and turns, almost as if trying to move towards your hand, and yet it cannot move on its own.
You slowly look up to see… is that a cog? Disappearing into the air.
You take a deep, shaky breath as you tremble, trying to stand back up. You cant work up the strength, your mind is far too focused on the fear settled into your heart.
But this spot…
Its covered. Its mostly safe. Maybe you can rest, maybe you can…

You flop onto your side, panting into the air as you try to control your breathing, staring into space- trying to look anywhere but at the colour staining the floor.
Your swimming vision fades as you pass out amongst the nature surrounding you…

___________________________

You hum to yourself as you look at the giant symbol before all of you. This is… it. You succeeded? You think? You feel… Uncomfortable. Might just be your paranoia. You’re worse than Ikou for your paranoia-

You look at him and realise he looks on guard, cane in one hand and a notebook in the other, flipping through pages before he walks over to Aradia and says something to her. What is he doing..? Looks like he’s laserfocused on something. Maybe concerned? He’s been acting weird ever since the game started. At least, according to the others he is. And what little experience you have does correlate to that.

You look around at all the doomed aradiabots with a wince. You can't help but feel mournful for all their lost timelines. So much loss, so many failiures. Vriska would have some snarky comment, you’re sure, if you were to voice it.

You blink, sensing something isnt quite right as you look around, before you realise Ikou is staring at one spot, having just put away his notebook, his right hand resting on the blade-handle. You take a hint from his concerned cues, taking out both of your strife deck cards- a crossbow in one hand, identical in design to the Cudgel that fell from the sky just a few weeks back. And, of course, that very cudgel in your other hand. You hum a little, summoning forth a couple blades of grass from your sylladex, which are grasped by a vine that shoots out of the head of your cudgel and placed in the empty bolt-slot of the crossbow. The grass twists, thickens, before appearing to become a long, cone-shaped bolt. So ammo-efficient. Turns something as common as grass into bolts. You admire it every time. But now's not the time, if Ikou is on guard, so are you.

You watch as one of your friends reach for the ultimate reward- and you scream out as something appears in a flash of green light, and slashes the reward in twain! You panickily fire a bolt, but before you can even see if it connects (though something tells you it didnt) you and everyone else is flung to a transportaliser! The only person not pulled in, other than the doomed Aradiabots, is Ikou! You cant let him get hurt- you have to protect him for once!

You cant let him stay here with whatever that is- In the last moment before you teleport away, you thrust your cudgel-bearing hand towards him, the vine once more shooting out and pulling him towards the transportaliser- as you go through together!

Chapter Text

Ikouze Payton

==> Arrive on the meteor

You grunt as you land harshly on the meteor, coughing and quickly forcing yourself to your feet, looking around at the metal walls of the place you'd hoped to not see again. You feel a sharp twinge in your chest- a foreboding, a warning. Or a reminder of a fuckup. You never know until you see the aftermath of things.

Supposedly aches like this are one of the “boons” of the Chain, to guide through positive and negative reinforcement. Feels like its only ever negative things like this. Maybe you’re on the wrong path- maybe you’re already doomed to…

No, no, that's defeatist talk. You aren't defeated yet. This is further than you’ve apparently reached before- everyone is here… You think at least- you don't spend too long counting them all.

How do you know?

The rest of the pages of your notebook are BLANK. You checked, no information of this point of the journey exists. Thrice. For the first time since this started, weeks ago, you have no goal- no objective. No guide.

You move about the room, checking on all your allies- they seem mostly fine. Mostly. Shaken up, and down maybe a hundred aradiabots, but still… fine.

“THE FUCK WAS THAT” you hear from just behind you. You turn to face Karkat as he yells. Oh you’re not looking forward to this conversation. “YOU WERE EXPECTING THAT THING TO SHOW UP- WHAT DID YOU KNOW THAT WE DIDN'T?!"

“Kar… You know i cant tell you-”

“CANT FUCKING TELL ME WHAT?? YOU’VE BEEN KEEPING SECRETS EVER SINCE WE STARTED THIS NOOKPINCH OF A GAME!” he yells.
You wince.

You’ve avoided him as much as you can lately- ever since you broke up a couple weeks back. He got tired of you being distant, too focused on your mission to sustain your quadrant- you feel guilty, you weren't putting any effort into sustaining it, but your path is one of sacrifice. You’d throw anything away to save them. Even that.

“Kar, please, you have to understand-”

“KARKAT. NOT ‘KAR’ OR ‘KIT’ AND SURE AS HELL NOT ‘VANNY’ OR ‘TAS’.”

Well, there goes your nickname permissions.

“Karkat… I can't say. Rules of…”

“RULES OF WHAT?!”

“Rules of causality dictate I can't! Or, couldn't. FUCK! Time travel, I've been dealing with time travel! One wrong move, I'm dead and so are all of you! I have the same aspect as Aradia!” You feel a weight lift off your chest as you finally exclaim it- and a sharp twinge in your heart. Another warning. The chain is being yanked. “Sorry, sorry… I can't say more.” You groan into your hands. You kept your classpect hidden because you’re supposed to. They didn't need to know.

You pull your hands away from your face as you hear him stomping off. He made the right choice by calling it off. Basing a whole relationship on blood colour was never going to work out. Oh great, your scar from when you were bleeding out is aching now too. Always does when you’re stressed out. You rub at your arm. You figure it's time to catch up with at least some of the team. Afterall… Nothing better to do while you’re figuring shit out.

You tuck your hands into your pockets as you wander over to Sollux. You always liked Sol. Blunt people always had your respect- they dont hide shit, you dont have to decipher them in unspoken fucking code. Always been jealous of his abilities, too. How much easier would this have been if you had a pair of fuckoff laser eyes?

“done haviing your 2houtiing conte2t wiith kk?” He asks as you approach. You roll your eyes and sigh.
“Yeah. I am. You holding up alright?”
“well other than watchiing a few dozen of aa explode before we got through that pad iim fuckiing peachy”
“Fair enough.” You sigh out in response, looking around the room. “You up for flexing your technical skills again?”
“ii wa2 already thiinkiing about iit. iit wiill be ea2y two get the2e computer2 2et up.”
“Glad to hear it. Have a feeling we might need them.” A positive warmth spreads across your chest as the yanking of the chain is loosened. Seems your intuition is paying off this time! “Well, see you around. Unlikely as it is, if you need me, I'll just be… Around, I guess? Might try to map out the transportaliser network. See if we missed anything hidden around this asteroid. After I check on the others, of course.”
“dont 2ee why you need two tell me iiz. iik? why doe2 your name have two be 2o fuckiing annoyiing two make a niickname for.”
“Sorry, I guess?”

You step away with a sigh, before you spot two of your friends talking. Gentle and Tavros, two of your favourite people to talk to! You smile as you walk over. You only pick up part of their conversation as you come over.

“...ight be able to heal you if i get better control of my powers.” Gentle says with a beaming smile on his face. For all the bad shit that’s come with this game, his improved confidence makes you beam with pride.
“yOU, uH, dONT HAVE TO, yOU MIGHT GET YOURSELF HURT IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING”
“i know, but… i dont want to be useless anymore… what good have i been since we started the game? i think the only time i’ve been of use is saving ikouze just before we got here, but even then he was probably fine…” he appears crestfallen at tavros’ attempt to dissuade him from a potentially helpful but potentially harmful course of action.

Oh you can't let him think that, especially when it's wrong.

“No, actually. I would have stood my ground and got my ass thoroughly handed to me. You saved me, Gent. Like you usually do.” You correct him, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
Gentle looks at you for a moment with a warm smile before shrugging your hand off. You’re the only one allowed to push his physical boundaries, and you know not to push them too far. A reassuring hand, a pat on the back, and only when he’s at his worst a comforting hug. “And besides, I'm sure you’ll be able to do it someday. You’re stronger than you know.” you reassure with a smile, before looking over to Tavros.
“How are you holding up, Nitram?”
“oH, i’M DOING ALRIGHT, i THINK SO AT LEAST,” he responds.
Hold on.
Something doesnt feel right.

You look around the room, mumbling to yourself as you count how many trolls are here…

“Where’s she?” you ask with a furrowed brow.

“who..?”
“Serket.”

With that question, gentle completely freezes up, before looking around the room as if he hadn't thought about something…

“i… she’s not here? she was being rude, i got shouty, she got agressive… so i used my cudgel to throw her away- i thought she’d be back before we got the reward with all that power of hers… i didnt realise she didnt get back before… that happened…”

Oh.
FUCK.
You don't care for her, especially not with her “god tier” bullshit, whatever that means… But… Oh fuck, that…

That must be why you felt that twinge. She’s missing, and you think you even need her to get through this mess to fulfil your objective. Takes one weak point to break a wall. And much as you hate her, she’s strong.

“she’s surely alive, right..? she has that… conditional immortality thing, right?”
“Exactly, conditional, and that beast was powerful… She might already be dead. Damnit.”
“i thought you wanted her dead…”

You sigh. You did, but the survival of those you stand beside takes priority over your vendetta against her blue blooded ass… Always.

You glance at the transportaliser, before sighing.

You’re worried that, with that, your chance has already fallen through…
Well.
Never let it be said that you’ll go down easy. Fuck surrender.

You curse under your breath, tapping a foot against the floor as you lose yourself in thought.
Hm.
You always struggled in combat if you didn't have the ability to draw your cane. And if you lacked the manoeuvrability to use your double ended trident…
While you have nothing better to do, may as well ask the mechanical genius for some pointers in unarmed combat.

But if he gets off on this somehow because of your large difference in the blood caste, you swear you’re gonna kick his ass…

And as you walk, you let your mind wander, wandering back to your train of thought about your weapons again. For the first time in a while…
__________________________________
==> Ikouze, remember your mentor.

It was a cold, dark night on alternia. Like most nights you enjoyed. You’d known Karkat and his group for maybe a sweep by this point, so you were… About 5 sweeps old, you think. It's hard to remember these days. You loved music, still do, so when you heard that Marvus Xoloto was performing, you leaped at the chance to be there.

It was the best you’d ever heard. You managed to slip to the section just past the golds before trolls would start disregarding the “i belong here” demeanour you walked with. That's fine, that was close enough for you.

You happily nodded your head along to the tune, far less energetic than those around you- was certainly tempted to throw yourself into such vigorous enjoyment, but you would rather not exhaust yourself.

Of course, then the brawl started. Cutthroat as Alternia was, you should have expected it. Trolls of all bloods tearing each other apart. Aaand you were quite close to the middle.

Only survived thanks to some clever swapping between your specibi, your dual trident was good for making space and attacking two directions at once, and your cane was better up close. You’re sure there were a few survivors, but you were the only one stood upright at the end, panting and wheezing from exhaustion and a good few impacts from the fight as you leaned on your cane, fighting off exhaustion as you wiped a rainbow of blood from your bruised face. It smudged your makeup badly, so you had to reapply quickly. And it was then you realised that Marvus was looking right at you.

Might have been because you were the only one not keeled over, but something tells you that he saw your makeup correction. And since you’re not a purple blood, not a clown, that would naturally bring attention to you.

Then he dragged you on stage, and you saw something.
A spark of something very familiar to you.

A spark of defiance against the world,
A spark of defiance against fate itself. Though the latter, you would only truly recognise in hindsight, now that the world has ended and your power to destroy fate has shown itself.

He taught you how to better use that canesword of yours. And, after realizing you were both kindred spirits, let you on stage for a few of his performances. With a fuckton more makeup than you usually had of course. You were going through a phase, but you still look back on it proudly. Never before or since have you felt so much confidence in yourself, than pretending to be someone else, pretending to belong amongst stars.

You always did have some respect for the clowns of Alternia, more than the average troll you'd say, but your time up there, mingling amongst them and performing with them, you gained a true admiration. You still remember how to apply that makeup. Large triangles of white makeup around your eyes, a sharp scarlet smile, and little music notes on your cheeks.

He taught you that you can change things. That the injustices of the world are yours to defy, to break. And that nothing predestined cannot be rewritten. You wonder if he somehow knew what would happen, that you would end up in a situation where what he taught you would be so applicable. Never can know with clowns.

You travelled with him and his troupe for about half a sweep. Best year of your life. But you did eventually drift, and you came back home to many questions about where you were and what you did, which you deflected for the most part. You wish you had more to remember those days, but you only had a couple bits of memorabilia to remember your time before you got onto this meteor, and for all you know it's all gone now. You kind of wish you had time to message Marvus before the world ended, to get one last bit of advice before it all went to shit, but things were too hectic for you to even consider it before it was too late to even try.

You wish you could go back. Get back on that stage one more time, roaring to the crowd as you hyped up the show to come before singing and performing your fucking heart out, instead of being stuck in this hellhole of a game. Oh, you so wish…

Maybe one day, if you do end up making your own world, you’ll do it yourself. Lead your own troupe, on the side. Use time powers to live a normal life and do that at the same time…
But then again, you don't need a fancy life to be happy. Just need your friends to survive…
__________________________________

Gentle Apathy

==> Socialise (reluctantly)

You watch as your moirail wanders over to speak with Equius. While you’re sure he meant well, the way that conversation turned sure did… Sour the chat with Tavros.
You quietly excuse yourself as you slip away, rubbing the back of your neck with a sigh. You didnt realise you were gonna get her killed when you lashed out- you just did what you thought you needed to protect yourself. You slowly rub at your headfins- it took a lot of convincing to stop hiding them, but it does feel… Liberating. Like taking that first breath in nature, away from the hustle and bustle, after so long.

But it does cause more than a few uncomfortable questions from your friends. Questions you dont really want to answer but you more or less have to. Especially from Eridan. And a few from Feferi, though you still try to avoid her. You cant let instincts take ahold of you when around her. And you have to hide to be sure her own dont kick in.

You look around the room, seeing a good few of your friends resting. You didnt ask if any of them woke up, but they might have… You never asked what moons, either, for those that did. All you know is your own, and Ikou’s- Derse, both of you. You dont like the colour. Too familiar. But it’s helped you… face a few of your fears. Its helped you a little. But you certainly aren't comfortable with it yet. Far from it.

You make a beeline for kanaya, seeing ikou wander off with his “I got something important to do dont get in my way” walk. Or at least thats what you call it in your head. He’s been walking like that a lot lately.

“How Are You Holding Up, Gentle” She asks as you get close. You let out a sigh, thinking for a second before you respond.
“as good as i can be considering i might have gotten someone killed…” you whisper out, ashamed in your tone.
There’s a pause of a few moments before a hand is placed on your shoulder.
“You Had No Way To Know What Would Happen. You Were Just Protecting Yourself.”
Those words arent quite enough to make you feel better, but… They help. You mutter out a thank you as you stand there.

You have a bad feeling that things are going to get worse before they get better. But you just have to take it one step at a time. Like he always says.

Chapter Text

Ikouze Payton

==> Follow Karkat

Its been a while since everything, and karkat just awoke from his kanaya-bisecting-tavros nap. You watch as he speaks to everyone in the room, but you, and the unconscious gentle- you understand why he avoids you, but it still hurts a little.
As he steps onto the transportaliser, you rush over.

“Hey, wait up.”
“WHAT, IKOUZE”
“I’m coming with. Im still sure we dont have the full network mapped out, so i aint letting anyone travel solo”
“YOU DONT HAVE TO FOLLOW ME, PAYTON.”

You flinch as he uses your last name, before taking a deep breath

“No buts. Come too far to let anyone get hurt now.” you state, matter of factly.
“I wont get in your way, you wont even notice im there.”

He gives a defeated groan- you know he’d argue, but you both know you are far too stubborn to deter once you set your mind to something. You have that in common.

Other than karkat looting chests along the way, the journey starts quite uneventfully.

“WHERE DID YOU GO?”
“Huh?”
“WHEN YOU DISSAPEARED- YOU DIDNT SAY A DAMN THING ABOUT WHERE YOU WENT WHEN YOU CAME BACK. PRETTY DAMN RUDE TO LEAVE YOUR QUADRANT MATES THINKING YOU WERE DEAD FOR HALF A SWEEP”

You pause in your stride. You sigh, hands in your pockets.

“I was travelling with Marvus Xoloto.”
“BULLSHIT.”
“Serious as a hole in your nugbone.”

You take a breath, closing your eyes for a moment before looking over to Karkat

“You know how that event you know I went to ended, I'm sure.”
“COURSE I DO, FUCKING MASSACRE, THATS WHY WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD.”
“Well, I was the last one standing at the end. And Marvus saw a kindred spirit in me. Taught me things. How to fight properly, how to defy more than just the system- how to belong. I felt so… Fucking liberated. We always hide things, but on that stage I felt like I didn't have to hide the same things. I could throw myself out there, for all to see, in ways I never could have before that. I was free, and I was so happy…”
“IF YOU WERE SO FUCKING HAPPY, WHY DID YOU COME BACK?”
“I missed everything I left behind too much not to. Happy as I was, more consistent than I'd ever been, it never reached the highpoints of our time together. I don't regret doing it, but I do regret not saying something. I was just… Not sure what to say. I was… scared of the issues I made, and just… Hid, until I got back. I wish I didn't, but… I didn't want it to all fall apart. And then this game hit us in the fucking bulges”

Karkat just watches you, as if expecting more elaboration. He asked one question, but it sure seems like this is leading into another he’s been wondering.

“Everyone that isnt in this game is dead. Everyone we ever knew. It fucking haunts me every time i stop and think. So i never stopped to think. Never took a day for myself, never stopped moving forward- because i knew… the moment i did i’d fall apart. But doing that, i lost… You. And everything failed to fucking work in the end anyway, all that goddamn effort wasted, BECAUSE WE LOST VRISKA!” you roar out, throwing a punch at a wall, hissing and growling in pain as you shake your hand

“I THOUGHT YOU HATED HER”
“I do, but i’m a damn fool to pretend she wasnt powerful. And in this hell, we need power.”
“YOU ARENT EXACTLY WEAK-”
“Yes I am! Equius can still lay me out, Kanaya’s chainsaw is better as a weapon than anything ive found or made, Gamzee is fucking Gamzee, Eridan has not only the fucking crosshairs but a wand too, and Aradia can actually summon fucking doomed timeline clones where i cant! I CANT FUCKING KEEP UP!”
You slump against the wall, sliding down until you’re sitting down and staring up.
“I’ve fought so hard, and ive got so fucking little to show for it… I’m tired, kar… So fucking tired… I’d take going back to before i ended up on alternia at this point-”
“BEFORE WHAT?”

You freeze.
What did you say to confuse him-
Oh FUCK.

“Slip of the tongue.”
“IF IVE LEARNED ANYTHING IN MY TIME DEALING WITH YOU, ITS HOW TO TELL WHEN YOU LIE. YOU DONT DO IT ENOUGH TO BE GOOD AT IT. WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT.”
“Please, drop it. You wont get it…”
“IM SO TIRED OF YOU HIDING THINGS FROM ME. EVERY DAMN TIME I THINK WE’RE GETTING SOMEWHERE, YOU SQUIRREL AWAY AND HIDE EVERYTHING FROM ME ALL OVER AGAIN. YOU’RE SHIT AT HIDING HOW YOU FEEL, BY THE WAY. THOSE FUCKING EYES OF YOURS GIVE IT AWAY. THEY’RE LIKE A SIREN, SCREAMING YOUR CURRENT EMOTIONAL STATE SO LOUD IM PRETTY SURE GAMZEE WOULD PRAISE IT AS THE CLOWN RELIGION’S BIG HONK THING.”
“Surely my eyes are not as loud as the so-called great honk-”
“AND NOW YOU’RE AVOIDING THE POINT, WHILE SHOWING A DISCOMFORTING AMOUNT OF KNOWLEDGE ON THAT FREAKY SHIT. IF YOU EVER WANT SOMEONE TO FILL ONE OF YOUR QUADRANTS THAT ISNT APATHY, YOU NEED TO STOP FUCKING LYING ALL THE TIME.”

You sigh as you stand back up, rubbing the back of your neck.
“You’re right. And i promise i’ll come clean some day, but… Not about this. Not yet. None of you would believe me, and if you did… At best, i’d get shunned. At worst, i’d get killed…”
“YOU CANT BE-”
He stares at you, his eyes staring straight into yours. He sees it. Genuine fear in your eyes.
“YOU ACTUALLY THINK ONE OF US WOULD DO THAT?”
“Not you, but… All things considered? I don’t trust the others enough to wear what scares me so on my sleeve.”

An uncomfortable silence stretches between you both. You let out a sigh, rubbing your temples.

“I promise, one day, i’ll tell you. Just… Not today. Please.”

He doesnt respond and just returns to his trek. You follow, rising from your position, but following with a little more distance. Oh hey, you’re back in the ectobiology room. Some great memories here…
___________________________
==> Remember the wigglers

You wander around the machine, idly tapping at the buttons as Karkat does the same. This machine is… Alien to you, but you’re sure you’re doing it right.

Your thoughts are confirmed at the swarm of wigglers that appear.

You can't help but give a loud, excited gasp at the sight, rushing over to the overwhelmed Karkat to ease the burden- until you hear something. You turn to look at a small rock in the corner, and see… something duck behind it.
You slowly creep over, your brow furrowed, until you let out a soft gasp as you behold…
A little fuschia wiggler, hiding, crying.

You gently shush them as you move closer, slowly, carefully, before you quickly pluck the screaming fuschia and hold them to your chest, shooshing them as you gently rub their back. This poor thing is so scared…
“Shh, shh, it’s okay… I’m not gonna hurt you, little guy…wait…?”
You furrow your brow as you stare at the wiggler, the screams and sniffles calming down as they look up at you.
A male fuschia grub?
Thats… Impossible. Fuschia blood is exclusively female… Right?
And thats when a spark of recognition strikes you. Those eyes. You know those eyes.
Gentle..!

You carefully lift the wiggler up, looking at them with shock and pride in your eyes. Oh, how beautiful he is…

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE- GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME ALREADY!”

The newborn version of your moirail flinches at karkat’s volume, starting to cry again as he tries to curl up into himself.
You pull him onto your shoulder, returning to your shushing before... You slowly look at him, before taking a deep breath as an idea strikes you with the force of a hammer… and you hum to him.
A soft noise, the kind you hear Gentle do to himself all the time. The wiggler calms down almost instantly, softly nuzzling into your shoulder blade.

“Please be a bit quieter, kar.. You scared this wiggler… shh… there you go…” you whisper, glancing over to the freaking out karkat with an apologetic look.

You look back at Gentle, before with a hitched breath you realise something. You just… Unintentionally discovered his ultimate secret. Fuck, this explains… So much. Oh, gentle…

You slowly run your hands across the back of the young fuschia-mutant in a soothing gesture.
“I promise… One day, you won't have to be afraid… She’ll be gone, and you’ll be free to be yourself…”

You slowly offer up a pocket for them to burrow into, and he doesnt hesitate before clambering in. You take this opportunity to wander back to karkat, crouching down to help him handle the rest of this swarm of adorable little fuckers…

_______________________________

You smile as the memories flood back, before you hear a noise from your mobile.
You pull it out with a furrowed brow, before sighing. Oh great, this guy…

Why did your exile have to be the one to find out how to directly message you? Fucker's as persistent as you, but without the charm...

Chapter Text

Gentle Apathy

==> Be passed out

You passed out, just like karkat, when you saw kanaya bisect Tavros. You werent expecting it, so you didnt even have time to mentally prepare yourself, not that you could have.

So you swooned and hit your head on the wall. Hard- not hard enough to bleed, but enough to leave you unconscious for a while.

You gasp as you come to, coughing and lurching to the side as memories of WHY you passed out flood back, having to fight back the urge to vomit…

You succeed, but there’s a nasty bile taste in the back of your protein chute now.

You groan as you stand up- from the horn pile, flinching at the honks that you didnt expect.
Who put you here while you were out of it?

You blink at gamzee as he chuckles at you while you unsteadily try to hop off the horn pile, landing with a stumble. You stare for a moment as he looks at you, almost expectantly, before you quickly take a boonbuck from your porkhollow and toss it over to him.

“Thanks for, uh, the place to wake up at, gam… Not the best rest, but i guess the horns are good at… waking me up?”
“DoNt YoU mEnTiOn It MaN, lEaSt I cOuLd Do FoR a SlEePiNg BrO oF mInE. yOu WaNt SoMe FaYgO mOtHeRfUcKeR?”
“No thanks, gam… But, uh, appreciate the offer?
You saunter over to one of the PC's littering the room before sitting down, rubbing your eyes before scrolling through text logs. No direct messages, barely any mentions of you… One advantage of your easily missable self, people don't really get too worried and crowd you when things don't go right. Except Ikouze, he’s always there if you need him. Even… if he’s been more distant than normal, before you hit this place. But this has been a very… Unusual time. Very, very weird

“D --> Gentle. I see you are awake. Did you have a good, if unplanned, rest?”
You turn to face Equius from your seat, before looking back to the screen.
“i’m alright, thanks. a little rough, but i’ll survive. why do you ask?”
“D --> You appeared unwell, highb100d.”
“don’t… don’t call me that, please. i’m not above you, i’m not above anyone. i want to just be… me, gentle, not a highblood who demands respect.”
“D --> I do not understand, your b100d is so high that you would be at minimum the third highest b100d on this team. Maybe even joint second.”
“i just don’t want to be respected just because of my blood, i want to be respected for me, for who i am! NOT BECAUSE OF SOME STUPID FUCKING VIBRANT SLUDGE RUNNING THROUGH MY DAMN VEINS!” you yell, slamming a fist on the desk with enough force to shatter it and send shards flying in every which way.
“i want to be me, not who my blood dictates i should be… not beholden to others, not superior to others, just… myself.” you whisper the last word, leaning back in your seat.
“why cant I be like ikouze…”
Equius moves like he’s about to talk again, which earns him a glare from you. Apparently that gets the message through.
“you want me to order you about, don’t you… well, have this order: don’t ask me for an order ever again.”
“D --> For someone who doesn't want to give orders, you are firm with yours.” he states, sweating because of course he is, before walking away

You grab your head between your hands, growling at yourself as you lightly slap your hands against your forehead.
You hate it. You hate your blood. You hate equius’ obsession with the caste, and you hate that you cant even do anything about this shit you hate without flexing your blood-given strength…
Sometimes you wish you were born someone else. Rust, gold, you’d take anything. Anything to not be… This. To not be a twofold mutant.

Maybe messaging these humans could be a good distraction… Yeah. That sounds like a good idea.

You sigh as you lean back in your seat. Well that went down about as well as when anyone tries to order your moirail about.
Which is to say, it didn’t go well at all.
Oh well, you can try again later…
_________________________________________

Ikouze Payton

You pocket the mobile without bothering to leave the chat, but muting the notifications from it.
You should sleep after you look into these humans who are having their own session. God. Humans, after all this time… You wonder if you remember Earth, anymore, or if your memories have all been warped by your time amongst trolls.

Noir is probably on his way to derse, and you don't want to lose that place without at least trying to fight for it.

You pull out one of the few things you’ve managed to keep since your youth on earth. A poem book.
You flip to its last page, quickly reading over it. Your favorite poem.

Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Chapter Text

Ikouze Payton

You spin in your chair, staring at the ceiling, as you await consensus from the team. One problem with most of these fuckers, they never agree on jack shit. But you love them all anyway.

OH FUCK IT.

You turn to your screen, opening up the text chat before twirling your mouse about as you decide which to talk to.

Hmmm.

Going off memory, this turntechGodhead seems to be closest to where you used to live when you hailed from earth…

But what point in his timeline to message him from… you just know the others will have riled him up earlier on, but later on…
Ah fuck it, you can just go further back if its too late for what you ask.

_____________________________________

==> Be young Ikouze

You cant be young Ikouze, because young Ikouze is Toby Payton!

==> Be Toby Payton

You are Toby Payton. On your first day.

You lie still in a hospital, hooked up to machines that help you breathe.
You are small. Frail.
Weak. You cant breathe on your own.

You are Toby Payton, on your third day of life.

You take your first, unassisted breath. For three days, you’ve been fighting your very biology.
A born fighter. Defiant, from your first breath.

You are Toby Payton, on your first year of life.

It is your birthday. You just learned how to walk.
But you cannot go far unassisted. You dont have the stamina. An issue, persisting from your problem-ridden birth.

You get tired quick. As such you rarely walk without one of your fathers to help.

You are Toby Payton, on your third year of life.

You were just gifted a cane. A nice cane, nothing fancy, you cant afford anything fancy. You take to it quickly, finding it helps you move around a lot.

This is the first, and only, year where your birthday lines up on a schoolday.
Its ok. You dont have many friends, and that’s ok too.

You are Toby Payton, on your fifth year of life.

It is your birthday. You have been gifted a nintendo DS and a few games for it. You love it- especially one called spectrobes.
You love using the main character’s catchphrase. Ikuze! Or is it ikouze?
You’re not sure. Said the same though!

Each birthday that you can remember is better than the last. You cant wait for next year!

You are Toby Payton. You are 6 years old today. You were gifted two things that you remember the most.

A new Sylladex modus- Stopwatch, to help you get better at keeping track of time.

And a poem book! You like poems!
This is the best day ever!

You are Toby Payton on your final day. You are 6 years, and one day old. A few months short of 3 sweeps old.

You wake up somewhere totally alien, covered head to toe in makeup you’ve never seen before, a headband with a few horns on it, with something making it harder to see on your eyes- some kind of contacts?

You are alone, and scared. You hold onto your cane for comfort, shaking in fear.

You were lucky that day.

A lusus, a giant, stark white crow found you.
Protected you. Raised you. The disguise enough to let it bond with you.

Toby died this day.
Ikouze was born.

You are Ikouze, you are 3 sweeps old. You are walking down the street with your lusus, his head on a swivel- and so is yours. You learned quickly how to keep aware of your surroundings.

Today, you meet annother young troll with his lusus. A young boy with some kind of salamander lusus.
Your lusus doesnt react strongly to them. They appear friendly.

You say hi to the timid young boy across from you.
He does the same.

This is how you met your first troll friend. The one who would one day become your moirail.

You are Ikouze Payton. You are barely over 6 sweeps old. Today, your kisemesis has invited you to play a game with him and 13 others.

You had not expected armageddon the next day.

Or to be trapped in a growing chain of self-sacrifice.

But you will embrace it. For you have always fought, and to fight for the sake of others is why you live.

You are Ikouze Payton.

Prince of time. Destroyer of rules, causality, destiny… And fate.

And you will never go down without a fight.

_____________________________________

==> Be modern Ikouze

Well. That was enlightening.

Chapter Text

Ikouze Payton

==> 6th, prepare for Noir.

You stand on derse, as your dream self, cane unsheathed as you float around the moon. Each of your worlds has been destroyed, and if you are a betting troll, derse is next. You just… Float. Hoping to spot the fucker the moment he shows his canine face. Can you beat him? Probably not. But you can give it the old troll-college try. Never will you lie down and go down without a fight. You spot feferi floating above you, and shrug before floating up to her.

“)(ey Ikouze, )(avent seen you )(ere much!”
“Feferi. Enjoying your time on Derse while we still got it?”
“Dont act like it's doomed, we )(avent lost it yet!”
“Not yet. The demon is coming, I know-”
You are cut off as you watch Feferi being suddenly bisected, your eyes wide before you raise your blade to block that same attack against you!

“NOIR!” You growl out as you struggle to hold the blade still against noir’s superior strength- however, you have superior leverage with a second arm… Even as the blade cuts into your second palm, to hold it against their blade. The eyes of the hound widen a little in recognition of the name, but doesn't react more.
“I knew you were coming, asshole! I aint letting you take this from me, not without a fight!” You growl out, before swinging a leg up to kick the beast in the leg-it doesn’t connect, and he simply teleports behind you, taking advantage of your guard being on the wrong side and too dedicated to quickly turn it around to slash your right arm clean off- FUCK! Always the right one!

You twist around to face noir with a defiant glare, gripping at where your arm was.
Fucking hurts, but you’re not out of it- you sweep down and swipe your offhand to catch your falling blade before turning to thrust it into Noir!

With the strength gap, and the fact you usually use your offhand to play defense, using your sheath defensively or as a bludgeon, not with your actual blade, he easily smacks your attack away before running you through.
You gasp and cough up scarlet blood, before you’re kicked away, much like you see, horrified, as it is repeated with Nepeta- but with more stabs. You cough and stare up, weakly grabbing at nepeta to comfort the fellow dying dream self, before you are blinded by the verdant light of a first guardian’s power. Fuck. Welp. It was nice, while it lasted. You spit in his direction and manage to work up the strength to flip him off with your remaining hand, mere moments before you and the rest of the moon are consumed by the green.
_______________________

Gentle Apathy

==> gentle- commune.

You float around on derse, staring up into the skies. You don’t want to do this, but… You are scared.
As a dersite dreamer, you have a direct line to them. And you care too much about those around you to not try.
So you try to commune with the horrorterrors.

It feels… Alien. Unnatural. You are a life aspect, you know nature- this is not that. Far from that. You hate it, but if you’re ever going to help, you need to do more… You need to fight. Not just coast along with Ikou’s strength of will, or the powers of the rest.
“please… i need to know… what am i meant to do, how can i make sure they survive?”

There is no answer. At least, not one you can use.
“God tier” you hear. But you arent at the top of your ladder, and you arent on your quest cocoon… and your planet is gone, so you cant get to it if you wanted to…

Your blink out of your trance, looking around the moon as you feel the terrors give you one warning- or an apology?

Your eyes wide as you see a growing horizon of green, trying to fly away- but in vain. You arent fast enough, and you cant find a transportaliser pad-!

Your dream self is consumed alongwith the rest of Derse by the burning power that you cant escape.

Chapter Text

Ikouze Payton

You sigh as you lean back. You wish that advice helped, but the timeline viewer is going to shit. The timelines just start to twist together, splitting before terminating at the top of the viewer. You wonder if its broken, or..

Huh? Fucks that noise- Oh, Sol is on the horn pile… Poor guy. You wish you had an idea of how to help, since he’s mourning aradia, but not much you can really do. You wish you knew why she blew the fuck up… but you’re afraid you wont find out.

You havent felt anything from the Chain in hours. Unusual, but not really unheard of, But you feel like you should be feeling something… Tied to dream self maybe?
Probably not.

You grumble, narrowing eyes at the timeline viewer, before snapping your fingers as you hope probing it with time powers will help you understand it.

Nope. You dont got that kind of fine control, you’re a prince, you break shit. The fractalizing timeline proceeds to shit the bed further, and goes back to normal when you stop.
Guh, you wish you could figure this shit out. COMPUTERS ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING THING. God, you wish someone invited Flakir to this shit before it went to hell, you miss that goldblood cunt.

==> you can figure this out ikou

FUCK OFF RW. You know it was your exile causing that thought. Using the commands to bypass your IGNORING HIM?
Well FUCK OFF! You dont just do things because the thought pops into your head- oh wait. Shit that’s exactly what you do. Very often, in fact.

Fuck you just called yourself out.

==> i know just how impulsive you can be. Useful in a fight, such rapid decisiveness.

THANKS?? YOU GUESS??

_______________________________
Gentle Apathy”

==> Pace in the main room

You’re pacing in the corner, staring down as you do. Things have gone to shit rapidly, and the loss of derse has made it even worse. Tensions are rising to their limit, you can feel it. Taste it.
And when your exile bothers you, you think it.

gentlE. pagE. opeN youR minD tO mE.

You will NOT. last time you did that, you nearly turned grimdark. And you dont want that.

thiS screeN iS oN itS lasT legS, iF yoU dO noT alloW uS tO dO thiS, wE wilL noT bE ablE tO communE witH yoU

Ugh… FINE. Fine.

ahhH thiS iS mucH betteR. thanK yoU, apathY.”

Eurgh this feels awful. Its barely a step below when you tried to commune with the horrorterrors back on Derse.

theY diD makE uS likE thiS. whaT havE yoU learneD?

The terrors said something about… God tiering and “the sixth” but you dont understand what that meant.

... oH. theY apologiseD didnT theY

How did you know that?

wE arE sorrY. whaT comeS nexT cannoT bE changeD. thiS iS ouR finaL communicatioN. aA deatH comeS sooN. wE hopE iT iS swifT. yoU dO noT deservE tO suffeR.

Wait whaaaAAT
GET BACK HERE

“GET BACK HERE-” you yell into the air, before blinking as most eyes in the room turn to look at you.
“sorry, my exile is being a pain…” you mumble out, before Ikou wanders over.

“Hey man. Your exile giving you trouble? I thought you figured out how to block them out.”
“i did, but i let them in for a moment…”
“Shit dude, you dont do that… Especially not with whatever that thing is. Fucking unnatural. And I thought mine was annoying…”
“they said that… something is coming soon, cant be changed, and that they hope its swift…”
“Oh did they? Well, it they speak to you again, tell them i’ll kick their ass myself…”
“i think they know regardless…”
“Mine’s been giving me hell, too. Using the console thing to try and get me to talk to them, after I started ignoring their notifications.”
“still think they know each other?”
“No way they dont. We got the weirdest ones, it seems- GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”
You flinch
“Sorry. He is INSISTENT.”
“yeah, i can imagine… a bit like you.”

There’s a few moments of silence.

“Yeah, well, I have a certain charm with it.”
“of course.”
“Well. I need to get back to trying to fix the timeline viewer.”
“yours isnt working, either?”
“Yeah. Sends me to random bits of the human timeline, and it keeps getting worse. Before long it’s gonna be sending me to past their fucking death date.”

And with that, ikouze wanders back to his chair. You feel scared. You’ve never heard sorrow in that thing’s… ‘voice’, and that was absolutely sorrow. It knows something. And is mourning you, while you’re still alive.

You hate time shennanigans. But you wont tell Ikou. You know he gave you your cludgel… Somehow. Thats the nice kind of shennanigans.

_______________________

Broken Tool

_______________________________

Ikouze Payton

You lean forward as you watch the sprite improvise, chin on your hands as your eyes twinkle with facination. Fuck. You may have found Alternia far more of a fitting domain for you, but you gotta say- you missed earth. Seeing someone, even a dork like this, passionate for something similar to what you love the most does cause some… Stirrings. You love the passion, but you also have a craving to one up this guy.

You’ll give it time. See if its just spur of the moment, or actual… feelings.

<3
<3<

And then everything starts to break down on the screen, the screen starting to fractalize in one corner, covering some of the text.

The screen blacks out for a moment, before you return to the timeline viewer.

What the fuck, it looks like someone dropkicked a thin glass pane and took a hammer to the shards!

Ever since Jade entered, things havent been working right… And nothing has felt right. At least, not in terms of time. With Aradia gone, you're the expert on that. And you aren't an expert.
_______________________________________
The Gestalt

All of you mourn this timeline. Such promise.
You wish the heroes have quick, merciful deaths.
But they wont, will they…

Gentle, maybe.
But Ikouze?
He’s too much of a fighter to go quietly.

Something you have in common with your reflection.
If only you were blessed with time powers like he was.

Chapter Text

==> Ikouze, try to figure out whats going on

You stare at the timeline viewer as things begin to wig the fuck out even more. This is… Peculiar, to say the least. Looks like what happens when you… ‘bend’ the rules of causality and barely avoid a… para...dox…
SHIT.

SHITFUCK.

The human session is stuck in a paradox of some flavour. Big one too, judging by the timeline viewer breaking down rapidly. Shit.

SHIT. Clearly whatever was meant to cause Noir to come to be didn’t happen.

You punch the desk before sliding back, holding your face in your hands. Damnit. You knew something felt off ever since that Jade girl got in the game.

You blink as you hear shouting from behind you. You stand up and walk over, hands in your pockets. Fuck, this is getting out of hand, ever since Aradia went pop...

You glance over to the argument between Eridan and Sollux, furrowing your brow before you walk over.

“Hey, lets just calm this shit the fuck down…”
“stay out of this, you lowwblood cowward, this is betwween me and the fuckin' mustard sludgeblood here”
“dont get iinvolved iik. thii2 ii2 between u2, not you.”

You stare for a moment, before reluctantly stepping back… There’s no way they’ll actually try to kill each other, right? They wouldn't… right..?

You raise an arm to shield your eyes from the lightshow, squinting to try and make everything out…

You gasp in horror as Sollux is sent careening into the wall, running over to check on him…

Your heart sinks to your stomach as you see Feferi get a hole blasted through her chest, scrambling to her in your blind panic, before completely freezing up as you see the matriorb, and then Kanaya get the same treatment… You barely register Gentle fleeing through the transportaliser- FUCK he’s gonna go catatonic the moment he processes this!

Your thoughts slow, until one, sole impulse remains.
KILL.

Cant save them.
But you can avenge them!

You roar as you throw your canesword at eridan as hard as you can- only missing because he transportalises out- not even paying attention to you.

You crumple to your knees, your hands shaking. You got… So fucking far.
SO CLOSE!
You slam your fists into the ground- once, twice, before losing your shit and just doing it repeatedly, without pause, until makeup smears away and your own blood stains the floor you keep striking.
You tried so hard, got so fucking far!
And they died anyway!

You start to cry, holding your head in your hands.
You’re so sorry…
______________________
==> Gentle, cower

You fled.
You saw blood, and you fled.

You saw FUSCHIA blood, and fled.
You cant breathe. Vision’s blurred. You just rock incessantly in a corner, alone. Away from the madness.
Fuck
fuck fuck fuck.
You feel sick
Your ears are ringing, but you swear you can her distant honking… Or, well. It sounds distant. Even your breathing sounds distant like this.
Your eyes barely register as Gamzee steps into your field of view, clubs held tight in his hands. Gamzee, gamzee’s nice, you trust gamzee… but… That look on his face…
Why is… Why is he raising his clubs?

You barely have time to eek out half of a plea for mercy before he’s on you, clubs swinging down at your head…

Doesnt take long for gamzee to walk away, a new layer of fuschia paint covering his clubs…

dead

goodbyE mY frienD. HoW beautifuL yoU werE tO witnesS, eveN beforE yoU becomE whaT yoU arE meanT tO bE.

_____________________________
The Sixth

==> Reject this timeline

You cant bring yourself to accept this fate as the one to succeed. Even if you arent in iminent peril, you will not accept this one.

You fetch your blade, holding it tight in your hands… before you slash at the air.

You are the first ikou to prepare the next in line without being fatally wounded beforehand. The chain grows, regardless, but It feels weird.

Gives you more time to explain and prepare the next. But you couldn’t focus. Not with revenge on your mind.

It doesn’t take you long to find gentle’s body.
You crumple at that moment. You cradle his body, holding it tight to your chest. Your moirail, your closest friend- your first friend, the very first friendly face you saw that wasnt your cawbeast lusus… dead. You scream, so loud that you fear jack may hear you, from wherever he hunts for you all.
You sob quietly, holding his head against your chest as you quietly plea for forgiveness- a sorry, for your promises to his young self were for naught.

ikouzE
itS aN honouR tO finallY speaK witH yoU

You hear a honk. And annother. Approaching.

Gamzee.

wE arE sorrY
wE arE partiallY tO blamE foR somE oF youR struggleS

This brute force isnt eridan’s style. No, his wands pierce- they can push, but that was a struggle, not a clean attack.

You know Gam killed your moirail.

Annother head for the pile.

yoU wilL noT encounteR anY oF whaT wE diD iN thiS timE
buT wE havE manY thingS tO regreT

You hide behind the corner, eyes closed as one hand clenches your blade tight, the other a taut fist. You activate your own little personal time-aspect trick.
Burnout.
Burning through time, past or future, for benefits in the now.

Also works on others, to debilitate them- stretching their time, slowing them, or destroying important moments… Cant do anything too major, not yet, though. Not strong enough, not enough authority to break time like that. But you mostly use the prior.

wE knoW hoW manY attemptS iT wilL takE.
anD wE wisH wE coulD helP yoU

You clench your cane hard in your hand. Your first one. The one that you’ve had since the start of this adventure. That time-aspect cane may be your most reliable companion, this one has held fast with you for far longer. This is what will kill a traitor…
You hope.

You wait around the corner for the approaching honks, as you slowly remove your contacts, rust-red eyes peering around the corner for the first time. You will give him hell.

You hold your blade tight. You’re ready.

onE daY, paytoN, yoU wilL seE thE enD oF youR struggleS
anD iT iS ouR honouR tO helP eveN iN parT, partiaL repaymenT foR ouR- foR hiS mistakeS.

As he turns around the corner, you swing, catching his arm as you press the attack.
You thrust the blade forward, ducking down to avoid a swing you fear would be instantly fatal should it connect. You thud against the wall, before ducking to avoid annother swing, sat against the floor as gam raises his other club-

Your leg kicks out, hitting his leg and causing him to fall over as you roll away and scramble upright.
You’re not fast enough to get a clean hit in, but it will take just one hit for him to kill you. And it’ll take more than that to take him down.

yoU wilL givE youR alL. aS alL oF youR kiN dO.
princE oF timE. fatE iS yourS tO breaK- tO changE. anD yoU wilL.

You grit your teeth, as you intensify your Burnout. Memories fading as their existance in your timestream fade. Nothing to burn after this, so you can only go back.
You die here. And you accept that. A transparent clock ticks rapidly behind you as you use the full depth of your current powers. You rush forward, your slashes and thrusts finding their mark more and more as you roar in rage!

And you scream out, as one of Gamzee’s swings collide with your left arm.
You scramble back, the arm limp- broken. Not the right one for once. Funny. You watch as blood pours down from the impact site.

yoU wilL savE theM. anD uS, anD hiM.
fighT welL, princE oF twO worldS.

Almost out of time.

“Ready to die, Makara?” You spit out, staring him down
“MOTHERFUCKER.”
“you’re the one about to die”
“YOU MOTHERFUCKING LOWBLOOD FREAK”
“I know. But I’ll take you down to whatever is next, with me.”

You charge forward, eyes narrowed on his throat. Just need one clean hit, and his head will roll. Not even clown bullshit will survive that!

You don’t even bother trying to dodge his next swing as you throw your own- but you don’t hit. The club collides with the side of your head, and you fall to the floor, on your back.

Gamzee crawls on top of you, raising his clubs high and starting to rain them down on your skull. You twitch with each impact as your nugbone cracks and shatters with each blow.

yoU reflecT thE firsT oF uS, iF thE gamE hadnT fuckeD uS froM thE beginninG
buT yoU dO noT losE yourselF likE wE diD.

You lie there, each impact dulling your thoughts, your strength fluttering away…
You could just… go…
But you cant.

Dead Daves are the enemy- dead Ikou’s are inevitable. But never without leaving an impact, without making a difference.

You summon all your remaining strength, clutching your blade tight and taking one last, desperate swing- you hit. Slashing open his throat, as the final swing collides with your head and you fall completely limp. Gamzee falls atop of you, spasaming as he bleeds out. Stabs, sure, he could bullshit his way out of. But his head is nearly off, no clowning his way out of that.

Dead
DeAd

goodbyE ikouzE. wE wilL seE yoU iN persoN onE daY.
wE knoW, becausE iT iS lonG pasT foR uS. alaS, iT iS faR awaY anD yeT tO comE foR yoU.

You were the 6th ikou in line.
You were the first one to make it to the meteor after Jack’s attack. You earned a title to be said amongst your kin- you are the Proof of Hope. You are proof that your efforts are not in vain. You can keep getting further. And you will stand there, on the final day, and give your all. All over again. Such is the duty of an Ikou.

But now your story ends. And you have to let go.
______________________________________________

You are the 27th ikouze.

You feel the heavy weight of the chain wrapped around your heart. You can bear the weight.

You flip over the notebook, your brow furrowed as a group memo devolves into arguments on your screen behind the pages, your freshly bandaged arm soaking through the silken white with your crimson blood.

One line stands out to you more than anything else. And you know you have to fulfil it, with how much emphasis every note after it gives, every note that 21 of your kin before you scribed down with their last moments.

Gentle MUST god tier

It is underlined in his own blood. A mainstay to get the message in, here, morbid as it is.

You wont let this life take him from you. Or any of them.
You swear it.

At last, one of mine.
Hello, Chainbreaker.

Chapter Text

==> Be the figure.

You cannot be the figure, because you are the Tool. You stand next to your empress’ throne.
You are a carapacian. Specifically, dersite.

But the time of your people kneeling at the black queen is long past. You have a new queen. Not that you’ve ever known otherwise. Your entire life, you have spent by your Queen’s side- for she took a shining upon you when you came to be.

She praised you when you did well. She raised you to be her tool.
Her weapon.

Your eyes trace the room for any signs of movement. You must always be alert. Even if none could even come close to hurting your wielder, if they get even close to trying then you have failed her.

And you never fail her. You never can fail her.
Because if you fail, that means you’re broken… And broken tools are repaired… or replaced. And you are not broken.

Though that doesn't mean she doesn't re’fin’ you from time to time.

“do me a glubbin favour and go fin our smithy would you” she demands. Polite tone or no, you understand better than anyone that the Condescence leaves no room for debate.

You nod your affirmative before you leave the room, moving straight for the “engineering” bay. Or, it was one of them once. It has since been… Repurposed, for this specimen. Strange thing it is. Your queen deems it worth keeping around, for its “unique” attributes. You don't trust it, its abilities are too esoteric for you to be sure of everything it can do, but she shows no fear of it.

You open the reinforced door to its chamber, your reinforced carapace and internal structure flexing to force it open. Looks like your queen took your security concerns into mind since the last time you entered this room.

You slowly step through the threshold, your eyes sweeping around the room to spot the creature.

“wE seE aA visitOr.” it speaks as it creeps out of the shadows, its shifting form warping to reflect your own. It always reflects the form of the most important person in the room. And while it looks right, it never is.

When it walks, it seems correct. One step looks normal, until you pay close attention and then it feels like 5. When it blinks, if you pay close attention its almost as if it blinks 12 sets instead of just the one you see. Supposedly this… THING used to be something else. And that makes what it can do even more unsettling to you.

If you could be unsettled. You’re a weapon, you don't get unsettled.
… You tell yourself. You gesture back the way you came as you stare it down.

“wE seE. shE desireS ouR worK? shE doeS understanD wE woulD worK betteR withouT thesE restraintS, yeS?”

You dont respond as you lead the way. No matter the form they take, that collar around their neck keeps them in line. But you still dont trust it to not go for the exit first chance it gets.

You keep leading it until you reach your mistress’ room, dropping onto your knee as the beast stands beside you, its form changing to reflect the condess’ own. You zone out of the conversation, your focus solely on the false condescence before you, ready to attack should they try anything.

After a while, you zone back into the conversation once you’re sure they aren't going to do anything. You missed most of it.

“wE cannoT dO sucH thingS withouT resourceS scarcelY availablE iN thiS planE.”
“dont you ef-fin lie to me i know damn well youve bream making inanimate objects with sentience”
“wE wilL explaiN. makinG somethinG sentienT anD givinG iT wilL iS noT thE samE thinG. onE iS merelY ablE tO thinK anD maybE communE. givinG wilL tO thE inanimatE allowS iT tO imposE itselF upoN thE worlD. aA weapoN witH wilL caN imposE itS owN purposE eveN outsidE oF it’S bearerS handS. oR eveN allowinG morE whilE withiN theiR handS.”
“and where the glub did you figure out how to make one”

There is a pause, palpable as the false-fuschia seems to think for a moment.

“wE figureD iT ouT afteR mucH efforT. yoU tooK ouR masterworK. yoU saW hoW itS hatreD anD malicE imposeS itselF oN thE worlD. thE gamE refuseD uS, everY onE oF uS, aA chancE tO wiN. wE creatE lifE wherE iT shouldnT bE possiblE, tO spitE thE gamE. iF yoU wanT morE oF thosE, yoU havE ouR noteS”

You watch as your mistress rolls her eyes, waving the two of you off. “whatever, go improve his ef-fin soul would you, while i send for whatever you need.”

You set off to the Gestalt’s chambers, with the creature following not too far behind. You hate when the thing “improves” you, but you can never remember why. But you do not get to deny your queen her demands.

You let it overtake you, as you pull the chamber door closed behind you as it prepares the “surgical” table. It’s raised upright, and you climb on, slotting your limbs into the straps before the table is returned to its vertical position. You stare at the ceiling for a moment, before your eyes turn to the creature as it slinks about, one of its fingers turning to a pink-looking scalpel and they glide it across your carapace. It doesnt pierce your shell, but it does slip through- to something else. The seam where it cuts glows before a carpet of stars bursts free- the form an intact soul takes, when visualised through this things powers.

And you fall utterly slack, even beyond your restraints. And you hear a voice whispering in the back of your head.

“donT strugglE. wonT worK. wE donT neeD strengtH wheN yoU jusT accepT ouR actionS. noW jusT leT aA lorD oF hearT dO ouR joB.”

They pull, pluck and move apart the stars that float above you, unable to even blink- if you werent breathing,it would be easy to assume you were in some form of stasis.

It pauses, looking between the door and at you in silence.

“onE daY yoU wilL seT uS freE.” it states, matter of factly, looking down at you with what you could easily interpret as pity as your head races with confused, angry thoughts at that comment.

“yoU pooR thinG. wE arE sorrY foR ouR parT iN youR sufferinG.” the Gestalt says in your mind as they walk around the table you are restrained on. “yoU dO noT deservE thiS fatE. buT onlY througH yoU dO wE havE hopE tO escapE.”
“shE thinkS wE caN alteR yoU, removE alL semblancE of indipendancE. nO. wE cannoT. tO smotheR onE parT oF aA souL iS tO shatteR iT. aA souL caN bE altereD, aimeD, anD iN thE mosT subtlE wayS trimmeD- buT noT smothereD. buT… aA souL caN bE addeD tO”

The creature’s unnatural hand pries at the glowing constellation projected from your chest, peeling stars and layers of spiritual fabric away to get deeper and deeper into it....

“seE thiS diM sparK iN thE middlE? thiS iS youR individualitY. alreadY dulL. buT iF wE givE iT jusT aA littlE…”
They close their hand around it, pink lights trailing up the limb and into their palm, before they release the spark. Brighter. Larger.
“noW wE soW thE seedS oF ouR freedoM. anD yourS. yoU wonT remembeR thiS. ouR powerS- HeR PowerS... thE muse’S powerS wilL prevenT youR rememberinG. buT onE daY, wheN yoU breaK youR chaiN? dO noT forgivE uS. wE arE yeT tO earN thaT. noW, sleeP whilE wE worK”

The telepathic command settles deep in your head as you pass out, and memories refuse to form- denied by a power beyond you…

________________________________

==> Gestalt, see what is to be.

As you work over the Bonastic Tool laid on your bench, your body twists to its unnatural natural form, a twisting black, near indescribable mass, with countless limbs breaching its surface and slipping back under with every movement.
With no conscious creature around that you are aware of, your in-built instincts from your formed body are no longer protecting itself. You all fail to understand how this horrorterror-blessed body needs such instincts, but it has come in useful a few times over the years.

You stop working on your latest experiment in soul and flesh, a dozen pairs of scarlet eyes peering from the black, before two pairs begin to shift in colour. One pair blue, one pair yellow. Mind and Hope.

You look forward into what is yet to come, seeing the future through a beaming light of the Seer of Hope, and focusing on yourself with the power of the Muse of Mind. You have destroyed the freedom of one too many creatures to give up now. You must make amends. And if you are trapped here, working for her, you cannot. A rare moment of consensus in the countless minds you took into yourself.

Your multitude of eyes flip up towards the air vents above you as the lights fade from your eyes, all of them returning to their uniform colour. Too small for you to fit in, even with your semi-amorphous form, and too tightly secured for you to get free.

But when the time comes, and those heroes charge at the doors of this place, it will be perfect for what you have to do…

And you will be free of this cage that day. But there are so many potential ways for it to go, so you will simply prepare for all possible outcomes.

The Chainbreaker will bring your salvation.

Chapter Text

Ikouze Payton
Alt names: sayoNara (pesterlogs), The Chainbreaker
6 and a bit sweeps old as of beginning of the story
Spent a prolonged period with a clown troupe
Dersite sway
spent 7 years on alternia
Land: Land of Extremes and Books (LOEAB)
<> with Gentle Apathy
Full name- Ikouze Payton
Human deadname- Toby Payton
Prince of Time- Destroyer of, or destroying through, time.
Modus: Stopwatch
Strife specibus: 2x3dent kind, canesword kind
Deal with denizen- Path of the Chain. Various boons- positive/negative reinforcement, slight leeway on causality and paradoxes. (and one more to be revealed)
Denizen: Yaldabaoth, God of Monsters. "rarely appears in game sessions, and is usually designated for the most naturally gifted warriors". Same denizen as Dirk and Caliborn.
Iterations so far: First, Sixth, 27th

Text quirk: N/A

Impulsive.
Mythological role: Shaper (destroyer) of fate, Saving those doomed by destiny, destroying their destiny in the process, rejection of failed sessions

Gentle Apathy
Alt. names: greenGills (pesterlogs) 6 and 1/6 sweeps old at start of story
Dersite sway
Land: Land of Growth and Vines (LOGAV)
<> with Ikouze Payton
Sign- True Pieces
Page of Life- exploiter of life. near unlimited potential
Modus: tune
Strife specibus: cudgel kind, crossbow kind

Text quirk: all lowercase, fully punctuated. FULL CAPS WHEN ANGRY

Mythological role: Embodiment of evolution, healer of many, reclamation of own life via overcoming personal limitations

Bonastic Tool
alt. names: Broken Tool (exile), repentantWeapon (pesterlogs) Dersite Carapacian
Heir of Void
Prospitian sway

strife specibus: scythekind
living weapon

text quirk: Names lowercase, uncapitalized "i", capitalizes titles (I.E Her Imperious Condescension).

Works directly for the Condessence as both bodyguard and weapon
"Refined" by Gestalt- Source of Aspect and sway despite Carapacians lacking in those.

The Gestalt

one body, many minds
Confirmed classpects: Muse of Mind, Lord of heart, Seer of Hope, Prince of Breath
Strife specibus: N/A, body incompatible with combat beyond powers.
Has several tiers of immortality- near unkillable, but frail.
Extreme arcane knowledge
Created via pact with Horrorterrors
Many mistakes and regrets- Blinded by hope. "Ends justify the means"

Text quirk: reversE titlE. CapitaliseS BotH BeginninG AnD EnD WheN OnE MinD IS IN ControL. duplicates singular letters. (aA, iI)

Chapter Text

The 27th
==> Strife

You charge through Gentle’s land, blade in hand as you run from tree to tree.
You raise your blade as you prepare to cut down an ogre-

PSYCHE
DOUBLE CHAPTER AVOIDANCE COMBO

__________________________
You are Ikou.
You wake up in your hive, slowly looking around the room. You look at your bloodied arm. What happened?
You stand up, somewhat dazed still, as you rub at the blood and sniff your hand.
Yeah. Blood.
Thats, uh.
Definately blood. Your blood.
You wish you had pretty troll blood…

You walk out onto your balcony as you look out into the horizon. But.. You dont see anything. Not beyond your hive. You hum, before walking back inside, before looking around confusedly. The surroundings shift away, and you’re then…
Somewhere unfamiliar. And you just wander.

You wander far, and you dont know where you’re going. But you just need to find… Something. Thats all you know.

And then. You find something. The one thing you wouldnt want to find in a dream bubble, regardless of the fact you never realised you were dead.

You manage to dash out of the way of the initial breath attack, in sheer panic, before you rush forward and slash, harmlessly, at the Angel of Double Death’s titanic leg.

You scream out as the true immortal picks you up and prepares to blast you with his soul-destroying breath.

You throw your blade at his mouth, vainly, as you stare him down.

You barely have time to register the attack as you are consumed by it, extinguished, forevermore.

But you, the first ikou in his first moments of this game, even after years of wandering without ever realising you were dead, were an ikou. And with your efforts, your refusal to go down without at least taking a swing, you forged something new.

A new prophecy.

A strider is English's defeat
But so is a rustblood.

Even if you are not that, not in this iteration, not yet
You will be. At the end of your story, your final versions will self-actualise both in their power, and in what they want to become.

Such is the fate you forged, without ever knowing about the chain that came to be.

______________________________
==> STRIFE

You swing your cane’s scabbard to deflect a swing from the ogre, before leaping forward and slashing straight through its midsection.

That was easy. This blade really helps with your low ladder position.

Supposedly its a little better each run. You arent so sure. But you only have your own run to go off of. Though you can attest to feeling it pull something from you when you first drew it.

You arent supposed to be on Gentle’s planet yet. The teams havent joined up, hell most dont even know that the session is the same. But if you’re going to do this, you need to help him as soon, and as much, as you can. Get him to god tier. Get him to evolve.

You understand why its so important that he god tiers.

He’s a page, the class that starts the weakest but has the most potential.
And he’s of the life aspect, which is always growing.

If he god tiers, he will have almost unlimited potential.

You need that. Badly.
You dont even know the full expanse of a life aspect’s power, but you know what he could do.

resurrect the dead, even if each individual person can be revived just once.

With that kind of leeway, since you did peek ahead and learn that you do all lose your dreamselves, you might be able to make it to that event that is eluded to but kept secret in your notes. Something called “The Scratch”? You have no idea what it means, but it sounds important- your next milestone, apparently.

You havent felt much of a negative pressure from your chain while you’ve been doing this. Right track, it must be.
You hope.

First step, is to find him, stop him from passing out on his first day wandering about this place. Then, arm him. You know where some item that he really benefits from is around here, you can let him find the crossbow on his own.
Then…

You need to help him gain some confidence.
You have no fucking clue how to do that, but you need to. He needs the strength of will to god tier.

Because you cant hurt your moirail. You cant kill him on the quest cocoon. You just… Cant. He has to do it, or have some monster do it while he’s there. Both painful, horrifying ideas, but at least you dont have to do it, or watch him suffer…

==> you know ikou, gentle is truly powerful. Best candidate for queendom i can name.

You dont remember asking.

==> you didnt, but i felt i had to say. It is hard to get there, to his potential, but ive only seen one fight with such purpose besides him. you.

Shut the fuck up, you werent asking about your moirail. You were thinking, not requesting information you dont want nor require.

You lurk by a lake, crouched down as you stare into the murky water- before looking up as Gentle breaches the water on the other side, staring you down… Before a swarm of imps and trolls, that were fanning over the banks, beelined for you!

The imps are easy enough, but the trolls not so much.

You swing at the air, floating cogs on your blade turning as the attack is… sort of suspended, in the air. When they walk through it, they are cut down- delayed attacks. Waits a few seconds, or until touched. Useful for keeping distance or while retreating.

You close your eyes, swapping your sheath- but not your blade. You place the scarlet, smoking sheath against your time cane’s blade, before swiping it down towards the approaching horde, embers floating in the air for a moment- before exploding into a short lived inferno, taking out a few and slowing down the rest.

Elemental alchemy, thats what you like to call this trick. Each cane has a unique effect when combined with others. Alterations to what they can do alone.
Ice and fire?
Smog.
Fire and time? A more intense flame than it can make alone, but it burns out quicker.
Ice and time? A wall of ice crystals that can do some good damage if directed well, but melts quicker.

Now you just need some good leimotifs to combine with this and you’ll be golden.
You dont use your dual ended tridents much anymore. Might have to ask Fef for some pointers during downtime? Dont want to get rusty with those. Its good to keep some form of versatility.

But those are thoughts for later. With most of the horde dead or indisposed, you opt to Abscond. No point wasting energy, these guys wont help you with your Echeladder much. Though, you DID climb a couple rungs, you arent aiming to god tier so it doesnt matter. You run to where gentle was- but dont find him. He’s fled- course he did, he was worried about you and didnt want to see you hurt. You understand. Unfortunately for him, you can track him better than anyone- you miss obvious details, at times, but you DONT miss the hidden details. At least, you dont do it as often as others. Very useful for spotting someone often ignored.

You are proud of that little talent.

Chapter Text

==> Gentle, Abscond

WHAT THE FUCK

You scarper away from the lake, before hunkering down behind one of the giant trees and look back.
How…
How did Ikou get here? First of all, you’re meant to be on different teams! And you havent gotten to anyone elses’ planets, yet!
Fuck, fuck... What if he gets hurt?
You gotta go back…!

You yelp and turn around quickly as you feel a hand tap you on the shoulder, blinking as you stare at… Ikou?
Ikou!

You launch yourself at him, relieved that he’s ok, pulling him into a hug.
“how did you get here..?”
“I have my ways, bud. You OK? Looked like those guys were chasing you… Dont worry, I took care of them. Well, enough of them.” He rubs his knuckles against your head.

Its only now you realise your fins are still uncovered- but he makes no move to comment on them. You know he saw them, but he doesn’t seem to care…

“you arent… horrified? shocked? Confused?”
“About you being a seadweller? Nah. I knew it forever ago, with that strength of yours. Also, you always had a hood on, and panicked if it came down even a little. It was kinda obvious, man. But you know I don’t care- I got mutant red blood, dude. Mutant, highblood, lowblood, noble- I don’t give a fuck. All I care about is what’s up here.” he gently taps a finger to your nugbone.
“why are you so… flippant about this… you know two sea dwellers and one of them is a huge prick, you arent even just… a little concerned?”
“Not at all. Because I know you. You’re my first friend, the first person I can safely turn to. You’d trust me if I was in your shoes, wouldn’t you?”
“yeah… yeah, thanks ikouze… how did you get here?”
“I have my ways. Came here to make sure you managed alright. After what happened to me, when I entered, I had to make sure you’re ok.”
“what do you mean..?”
“I got hurt, bad. Thought I was dying. But I’m here now.”
“wha-”
You blink as he pulls his right arm out of his sleeve, revealing a large, red-stained bandage over his upper arm.
“oh by the condess’ codpiece…”
“Was that a fish pun?”
“of course it’s not… where’s the pun?”
“CODpiece.”
“oh fuck me…”

He chuckles as you both wander through your land- you feel much more confident with him around.

“when did you enter?”
“A while from now, actually. Had to use some time powers to get back here.”
“time powers..?”
“Yeah, we all got some new tricks, even if we don’t know how to use them. I can fuck with time- so can Aradia. Though im more… Brute force. Gotta be careful, because of that.”
“i see…”
“You’re a Life aspect.”
“what does that mean?”
“Not a damn clue. Safe to assume some sort of healing powers, maybe, but I couldn’t say. You share it with feferi.”
“urgh, of course I do…”
“What is your problem with Fef, she’s a lovely sea dweller. I’d happily have her as a queen.”
“i don’t have any problems with feferi in particular, its just…”
“You don’t wanna say?”
“yeah…”
“Then I wont pry.”
“thanks…”

You slowly look around, your hands in your pockets. You have a good feeling about this…

__________________________________________

You look around, panicked, as you climb onto your Quest Cocoon. You’ve watched the worlds before yours explode, one by one, over the last couple hours. You don’t know why Ikou prevented you from getting onto the platform, but you have a feeling he knew something was going to happen. You know he wouldnt do anything to hurt you, but it still confused you at the time.

You slowly look up at the sky, your brow furrowed. How did ikou say this worked…
You hit the top of your echeladder… Check…
You lie down on the quest thingy… Check…
What was the last bit?
You apparently need your dream self for something, so you having Woken Up is a given, though it does mean if you were a prospit sway it’d be too late…
What was it?

yoU neeD tO diE

Oh. Hey ges.

greetingS, pagE

eitheR kilL yourselF, oR leT somethinG elsE dO iT.

You cant be serious…

wE diD iT manY timeS. WE knoW thE patH. YoU musT diE anD theN eitheR geT placeD oN thE cocooN, oR diE oN iT.

noT thaT iT matterS noW.

What do you mean by-
ACK-

Your eyes snap wide as you are suddenly impaled to the cocoon, your eyes wide in horror as you watch your own blood bubble up around a spear that just flew in from nowhere!

sorrY. ThaT iS onE oF ourS. SeT iT uP centurieS agO, tO strikE wheN yoU arE lyinG therE. WE apologisE, buT iF wE donT dO thiS, thE procesS wilL noT worK, thE beD wilL bE destroyeD witH youR worlD iN merE momentS.

it hurts…

leT gO. becomE aA goD oF lifE.

==> gentlE. risE uP

You cough up fuschia coloured spittle before collapsing, death claiming you- and your dream self. Mirroring wounds on both.

Your dream self floats up, hanging limp in the air as it begins to glow, while simultaneously hundreds of little delicate butterflies begin to swarm your original body, your royal blood staining your dersite clothes for the first, and final, time. Higher and higher you float, as a dazzling, green light appears around your floating dream-body, your derstite clothes fading away- no longer needed. Replaced by brown god tier clothes, with your Life symbol emblazoned on its front in green.

The life symbol beams into the sky of the world, and its light shines across the whole place session like a burning beacon.

You slowly look at your hands. You feel it. The infinite potential for life, flickering between your fingertips. The final answer to the cold, brutal indifference of the universe.

Life. Living despite the worst reality has to offer.

The gentle embrace of life’s endless defiance against the apathy that existence itself bears against it.. This is you.

And its a lot of you, considering you are very exposed, if those exceptionally short shorts are any indication.

Are you glad nobody is around to see this outfit.

donT worrY, wE caN confirM, alL pageS weaR thaT wheN theY goD tieR

Oh fuck you have a witness.

donT yoU worrY-- jusT geT tO a transportaliseR paD anD geT bacK tO thE meteoR. theY neeD yoU. bE surE tO destroY thE entrancE sO noiR canT folloW yoU.

Right…
May as well do as Gestalt said.

You stumble as you figure out how to fly, looking back at your brand new set of wings with a slack jaw for a moment, and fucking BEELINE for anywhere where you feel a route there could be- hey, are those landmarks?

“What the hell..?”

You move close to it- hey, that’s ikou’s handwriting, on that white checker square!

Huh.
Time users, you guess.

__________________________________

==> Ikouze, abscond

God you missed this. How long has it been since you ran like this, your heart hammering with the strength of a fuschia slamming a hammer into a drum?

Fighting comes natural, and since you often bite off more than you can chew, running comes just as natural.

And you do both for Gentle, quite often. He never asks for it, but you do. Hell, he usually tries to stop you. But nobody can stop you, when you set your mind to something. Unless they kick your ass first.

Which was more often than you’d like to admit. At least, before you broke out these powers.

==> gentle is behind that tree

You know, smartass. You decide to have a little fun with it.

You slip back in time a few moments, just before gentle flees, before hiding not far behind where he ends up hunkering at.

You fucking LOVE these powers. Makes your whole “always out of time” shit so much easier to handle. Modus being a bit too slow? Slow down your time perception. Need to avoid a hit? Burn some of your future away to dodge it. Need your opponent to slow down? You can do that too!

So fucking useful. If only you had this when you went to beat up that guy who led gentle on and tossed him aside.
Unfortunately all you had back then was a case of short troll syndrome and a canesword… Actually, thats how old “reliable” turned near-dessication-on-entry got fucked up. Thats about all you had back then.

Your ribs still ache every now and them from them getting kicked in, and that was a bit over a sweep back.

Not long before you got swept up with marvus’ folks actually.

God that was a hectic sweep.

You realise you let your mind wander before you creep up behind Gentle, slowly tapping your hand on his shoulder…
____________________________________

Ikouze

You smile as you stand on top of the meteor, looking out towards Skaia. You let the light of Gentle’s acension wash over you.

Yes.
YES!
This is it! You could fucking kiss that glorious fuschia mutant bastard!

YOU FUCKING DID IT!

This is exactly what you need- fuck you can feel that power from here. Guess the last you, your exile, and that annoying pseudo-horrorterror that acts as Gentle’s Exile were right. Pages are a whole other level when they god tier. What could he do with all that power over life? Can he just ressurect, or can he heal? Can he manipulate? Create? Or is it just raw LIFE power?

How would that work? He shoot life lasers from his eyes? You’ll have to wait and see you suppose.

In any case, maybe you can win now. Maybe…
Just maybe…
You can save them.
Or he can.

Maybe you’re not the hero of this story?
You’d be happy with that.

Maybe you just…
Light the flame, to forge this one.

Maybe you could see if he can revive dream selves too, to give one last extra life?

Doubt you can do it, even with your time powers there’s no shot you can get to Derse pre-emptively, or Prospit’s remains without leaving a scent trail that leads him right to you and gets everyone killed.

Oh well. Why you worried about that?
You won!

Chapter Text

Ikouze Payton

You sit at your pc, spinning around as the dull droning of arguments scream around you. God, much as you love these guys, you hate them.
Seems without the stabalising influence that is your softie of a moirail, these guys really break down faster. Supposedly? Havent exactly seen it yourself.

Derse went boom not too long back. Moment of truth comes soon.

You glance over to Vriska. With gentle not on the reward pad, she didn’t get tossed away before noir showed up. Doing one thing to save you all, saved another.

“What are you looking at, Ikouze? Just 8eing a nosy freak again when not talking to your 8oyfriend?”
“A headache. If you weren’t an asset, I’d throw you off this meteor.”
“As if you could!”
“Probably not. I have no delusions that I’d win in a no-holds-barred, fair brawl. But I’d give is a good try.”

You turn back to the screen, leaning forward as you read through the latest rap cipher that davesprite sent. Damn this human is good at this. Could do with a few lessons on punctuation and capitalisation, but… Eh you can put up with that.

You chuckle as you lean back, legs crossed. Fuck that guy is fun to talk to. And great to trade friendly barbs with.
Fuck, you’re getting attached again. That doesn’t end well in your experience. Its why your breakup with Karkat hurt you so much.

But you cant help but get attached to those you come to care about…

You sigh as you close out the log. Moment of truth is coming- oh great there vriska goes. What is she gonna do? Crazy bitch… Powerful, but a liability.

You sigh as you go back to the timeline viewer, rubbing your eyes with a grumble. It feels so alien having nothing to do. Weeks, you were running around like a headless cluckbeast, doing everything you could to make sure everyone survives. Now? You just have to wait for what comes next. And worry, all the while…

What if gentle cant get back? What if he’s been attacked by Noir and suffered a Heroic death?
No- NO. Cant worry about that. He’ll get back. Has to. You have faith in him. Always have, always will.
==> Such trust. What is it like? Being able to put that much hope in another?

Harder than you’d think, Tool. You never had someone you could trust?

==> No. my circle was composed of Her Imperial Condescension, the gestalt, and whomever She had on board. They both used me. Nobody I could trust- she even killed me to ensure I would God Tier.

He god tiered? But you thought the Tool was a Carapacian.

==> i am. The gestalt gave me a classpect and that resulted in me forming a sway. Dersite, but prospitian sway. You can imagine the headache it was to find my slab.

Slab?

==> my dream slab, in the core of prospit’s moon? i didn’t have a world, so i had no quest bed, but prospit still generated a slab for me to use.

Thats a thing? Interesting…

You blink as you hear the argument between Eridan and Sollux reach its fever pitch.
Go time.

You stand up, cracking your knuckles and stretching your legs in preperation, as you wander over.

“Calm this shit the fuck down.”
“stay out of this, you lowwblood cowward, this is betwween me and the fuckin' mustard sludgeblood here”
“dont get iinvolved iik. thii2 ii2 between u2, not you.”

Just as it always happens, supposedly.
But you don’t back down.

You stand firm, eyes narrow to keep focused through the bright glow of the fight.
Cant stop eridan. Causality would have a field day with your ass if you did. But you can save at least one person after this fight ends…

You’re sorry, Kanaya. But seeing a fuschia’s blood would shatter Gentle. Gotta make a strategic choice.

You take a breath as Eridan blasts sollux to the wall.

Ikou ze.

You leap forward as he blasts towards Feferi, tackling her down- not unscathed, the blast shears a solid chunk off of your arm, but you manage to keep Feferi from getting killed-

You land on the ground with a thud, coughing as you grip your injured arm, gritting your teeth.

You look up, seeing the aftermath. Matriorb gone, and Kanaya blasted through. You grip your arm with a hiss, watching a lot of blood pour down onto the floor.

“You saved me! O)( fuck, your arm! Stay calm, you've cod t)(is!” she says as she examines your injury.

“I’m fine, not the first bad arm wound ive had…” you grunt out as you pull out your fire-cane.
Its not called that, of course, but you never care about that.

You unsheath it with your offhand, before pushing the blade against the wound-
Organic material is all it burns, without using its sheath for elemental fuckery. Makes it great in a fight… and great for cauterisation.

You hiss as it burns at the injury, cauterising most of it. Its a large wound, so its hard to do it for the whole thing.
You quickly take out some bandages from your modus and wrapping up your arm with a discomforting level of expertise.

“not t)(e first time you've )(ad to do t)(is?”
“I wish it was… Is Kanaya?”
“i’m sorry, s)(e’s gone…”
“Fuck… I gotta get hunting for Eridan. You stay here, with Karkat.” You glance over to the freaking out mutant, with a furrowed brow.
“Gentle will be here soon, im sure of it. When that happens, im positive things will be ok…”
“)(ow can you be so sure?”
“I saw the light of his god-tiering.” you state before you charge through the transportaliser pad- in hot pursuit of Eridan.

_________________________________

Gentle Apathy

You look around as you finally find your way back to the meteor, looking around with a sigh. Dont like this place, but something is even more… Off. Your head swivels around as you hear a honk nearby.
“gamzee?” you ask the air as you walk around, before you spot him moving towards you.
“there you are, gam, where is everyone?”
“they’re not here”
“MOTHER FUCKER”
“woah, gam, lets chill with the language…”
“and why would i do that”
“WHEN A HEATHEN MOTHERFUCKER IS STANDING BEFORE ME”
“tell me my brother”
“ARE YOU FEELING MIRTHFUL AS A GODDAMN MESSIAH”
“because i am the motherfuckin”
“MIRTHFUL MESSIAH”

You back up from gamzee, glancing behind you- towards the pad. Could use it to quickly get to the hub and then to your room…
No.
No, you’re not hiding anymore.

“back off, makara.”
“what was that, motherfucker?”
“i said… BACK OFF!” You roar at him, glaring all the while.
“i am gentle apathy, and i am an heir to the throne, you will listen to me!”

Gamzee looks a little surprised at your outburst, before laughing it off and lunging for you.
“I KNEW YOU HAD SOME BACKBONE MOTHERFUCKER! NOW LET ME BREAK IT!”

You manage to duck under his attack, before you throw a punch at his jaw, sending him staggering-
Which you use to run away. You slip through the pad, before raising your cudgel high and slamming it down on the pad with enough force to shatter it. Wont be following you…

You move through the meteor, room to room, before you find something that makes you gag-

Tavros. Dead.

You take a moment before moving closer, placing your hand on tavros’ head.
“nitram…”

Whats this feeling?

You look at your other hand- feeling like you can do… Something. Undo something.

Blue light eminates from your hands, and your eyes widen.

And in that comforting blue glow that washes over you and him, his chest closing up, you realise something.

You can save him.

You can save… All of them.

Chapter Text

____________________________________

Ikouze Payton

If there’s one thing underlined in the notes that wasnt something you were told to do, explicitly, its gamzee.

You cant match Gamzee. So don’t try.

Well.
Ok thats not quite accurate.
You can match Gamzee, but only because of one thing-
The chain is like a counterweight, with how it grants you leeway on causality. You die, the chain loses effect on this timeline. Causality breaks- paradox claims your timeline with you gone.

As such, while you can kill Gamzee…
It only actually works if you, yourself, die in the effort. Because that clown bastard is protected by reality itself, and that protection only eases up when the timeline is doomed. Still need to keep chain-forging loops stable or risk breaking the whole thing, but… Kind of depressing. But you don’t stop to think about it.

So, you cant stop Gamzee. So, you’re going for Eridan.

Will you kill him?

You… Arent sure.

You’ve come this far to save all of them. And even if he’s one of the obstacles- he’s one you’ve been trying to save. Plus he’s chill with karkat! Surely… Surely that means he has something worth protecting in him?

… Fuck, you’re still bleeding.

Wound was a bit too big to properly cauterize, so you have to put up with some bleeding. Surely it’ll clot eventually, right?

...Right?

… Its not slowing down.

Its not particularly fast, but its not slowing down…

Fuck.

“Oh Ikou you moronic horseshitting bitch” you imagine karkat screaming at you with this revelation of you FUCKING YOURSELF.

Gentle is coming with Page of Life powers, he could have resurrected fef, and here you are fucking your arm up again.

Can still move it, thankfully. Not as much strength in it as usual, but it still works good enough. You might have to kill Eridan, but you hope not.

You hope you find gentle before you bleed out. Life means healing, right?

You slink from room to room, eyes closed as you listen for any indication of movement, of transportalisation, of Eridans arrogant gait, of those damn wands being fired…

those fucking HONKS ARE DISTRACTING.

God damnit Makara.

You really liked that guy before he lost his shit.

Wait-
Thats it. Where would some arrogant violet blood go for some showdown? The top of the meteor. Of course.

You sprint up there at full speed, kicking the door in your way open- and slam it shut behind you, as you move to where you assume Eridan will be hiding out at.

You look out at the vast expanse, hands in your pockets as you slow down your movements, letting your exhaustion that very quickly kicked in ease up. Fucking hate blood loss. Makes your stamina issues even fucking worse.

“I always did like this view…”
“wwhat are you doing here you mutant blooded freak. you followwing me, cherryblood?”
Your head swivels around to look at Eridan, who’s already pointing a wand at you.
“Ampora. Lets not do something stupid…”
“answwer my fucking question, lowwblood. you're followwing me arent you, you air huffing wwaste of troll blood.”
“Yeah. I am. I’m hoping to settle this peacefully, Prince to Prince.”
“you are no prince, scumblood. just some vvile little liar trying to suckle on my purple tit.”
“Prince don’t mean shit on where we stand on the spectrum. Its our class. We are destroyers. I destroy time, you destroy ho-”
“stop talking before i blast your useless head off.”

You stare Eridan down for a moment. You arent one to take stupid risks, not if you take time to think.

“Eridan. Dont make me do this. I’m already bleeding out, even if its slow. Your death threats don’t exactly hit as hard to someone who’s dying.”
“don’t you bullshit me, candy sludge.”
“Look at my arm, then. You blasted a hole in it, and I can only fix it up so well.”
“shut it.”

You sigh, shaking your head at some mild light-headedness. Ugh. YOU HATE BLOOD LOSS.

And you didn’t even die of it. The oldest Ikou’s probably hate it more. You’ll be sure to ask if you ever meet them in those “dream bubble” things a couple Ikou’s mentioned in the notes.

“Please, Eridan. I’ve dedicated my life to saving each and every one of you morons from this game. Dont force me to kill you.”
“you’re the one in my fucking sights. one shot from this wwand, and you’re dead.”
“Then why havent you fired? Cmon, Eridan. There has to be something in there, something worth saving, or you would have put a hole between my eyes. You never would have been friends with Karkat. Put the wand down. Please.”

You take out your time cane, gently tossing it to your side.

You have the others, if you have to fight, but you don’t want it to reach that. You hate this guy, but you cant just go back on everything you’ve tried. You have to try.

“Please. We can find a way back from this madness. Not everything can be undone, but we can fix some of this. Gentle is coming, he can ressurect the dead- he can revive Kanaya,”

“shut up, im fucking thinking.”

You raise your hands and back up a little. Cmon, cmon, progress…
Dont… Force your hand. Please. You cant kill one of the people you’ve put so much effort into keeping alive if you don’t have to.

You stagger a little, shooting your hands out to steady yourself.

“wwhy did you savve fef? you could havve savved kanaya.”
“Because I knew what was going to happen. And feferi’s corpse would have broken Gentle.”
“I kneww that liar wwas pining for-”
“No! HE’S A FUSCHIA AND HE’S TERRIFIED OF HIS OWN BLOOD! Shitfuck! You are dense as moobeast shit sometimes, for someone so smart!”

You sigh in releif as eridan lowers the wand for a moment, before you slump onto the floor with some quiet huffs.
Fuck. Not this shit again…

Eridan slowly wanders over, crouching down to examine the wound. Seems you managed to get him to give half a fuck about the others. Did good, ikou. Did… Did good.

“you cant fix this? you’re capable for a sludgeblood, i’m shocked you cant figure something out.”
“Nope… Cauterized as much as I could, but I’ll give you one thing, that wand packs a wallop. Just… When Gentle gets here, make sure he finds my body?”

You groan before letting your head roll back. Fuck. So this is how those first ikou’s felt?
Damn. Well, at least you don’t have to hold on for anyone else.

You close your eyes, and embrace oblivion.

Dead.

____________________________________
Gentle Apathy

You watch as the orangeblood takes a breath, grinning happily as he sits up.
“take it easy, tav. don’t know how this life resurrection shit works, so i don’t know if i did it right…”
“i'M ALIVE,,, yOU SAVED ME, gENTLE, uH, hOW DID YOU DO THAT”
“don’t know, but my aspect seems to be good for this… what happened?”
“vRISKA,,,”
“fucking knew that bitch would…”
“wHERE DID ALL THIS CONFIDENCE COME FROM, wHERE DO I GET SOME”
“not sure. think i‘m running on the high this power is giving me… i feel fucking invincible. full of power. brimming with energy, like i could fight the demon and maybe even win…”
“iM NOT SURE ABOUT THAT BUT I HOPE SO”
You stand up, taking a breath, before rushing off. Something’s gone wrong, you can feel it…

You fly about, around the top of the meteor for a bit… Before you hear something.
A chainsaw?
Kanaya!

You swoop down towards the noise, gasping as you find two things that horrify you.

A bisected eridan, and…
Oh, FUCK, IKOU!

You rush over to your moirail, pressing your fingers to his neck to check for a pulse. Nothing.

“Gentle? Youre Alive!”
You look over at the voice.
“kanaya? what happened- why are… you glowing?… why… is there a hole in your… oh god, your blood is… eugh…”
You gag to the side, a hand in front of your mouth… Before you take a deep breath.

“stand back, please? this is new to me.”

You take a breath as you holds your hands out towards Ikou- you don’t know how you did the tavros ressurection thing, but you have to try again…

carefuL. tavroS waS jusT thE naturaL backgrounD outpuT oF youR poweR. EveN wE strugglE tO fathoM thE fulL poweR oF aA pagE oF lifE.

pageS arE comperablE tO lordS anD museS aT theiR peaK. anD lifE iS thE domaiN oF growtH. infinitE, unstoppablE evolutioN.

Shut up.

oH?

SHUT. UP.

You are not taking any more BABY HORRORTERROR BULLSHIT FROM THEM.

You force the power to come out, a bright, all encompassing blue glow eminating from your fingers, rapidly revitalising Ikou…

But you cant control this kind of power.

Its like giving someone who’s only ever shot a pellet gun a 50 cal with no warning. You cant aim it.

The glow begins to heal everyone nearby.

The hole in Kanaya’s gut closing up, ikou’s wounded arm filling out…

And even Eridan’s bisected body piecing back together.

You grunt as you get the cap back on it, gripping your wrist with a hiss. Fuck. This feels so weird. But… so right?

Fuuck this is confusing.

“What happened? Oh, thats fixed…”
“ikouze!”
You grab Ikou by the shoulders before pulling him into a tight hug.
“Fucking hell- ease up, you’re gonna break my spine-”
“not a chance…”
“Ow… Missed you too, man… Fucking knew this was the right choice…”
“huh?”
“Getting you to god tier…”
“it helped that the gestalt speared me to the quest thing…”
“Oh im gonna fucking kill them if I ever meet them.”
“ikou, no…”
“Ikou, YES.”

You look behind you as you all hear some movement.
Oh.

Eridan ran away before Kanaya could realise he was still alive.

“Damn. I was making some progress with him…”
“is that why i taste pitch in the air?”
“Fuck off.”
“i'm your moirail, not your auspice, its not my business.”
“I'm not pitch for that arrogant tool.”
“feels kinda pitch.”
“Bite me.”
“i'm sure he would.”
“God you’re insufferable when you’re confident.”
“you wanted me confident.”
“Hush.”

You both stare out into space for a few moments, before both breaking down into a chuckle fit

“you are so pitch for him”
“Am not”
“ikou, you had the perfect opportunity to kill him, and from the looks of it a good excuse, and you didn’t.”
“ikou has a pitch crush~”
“Fuck. Off.”
“look, i get it, you broke up with your old pitch relationship so you’re craving filling it again. but eridan of all people?”
“Didnt ask. Not interested in him. Concupiscent-less and happy.”

You both sigh before standing up simultaneously.
“Ready?”
“as im going to be.”
“Lets get these guys to the scratch.”
…
“the what?”