NCU
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Listing Series
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Summary
The Murdock boys, they've got the Devil in 'em. But Matt's scared his Devil isn't violent. (It's just as gut-wrenching.)
Series
- Part 1 of NCU
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1.01 How Far'd You Get This Time? by pollutedstar
Fandoms: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV)
21 Mar 2021
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Summary
“I am no longer the Winter Soldier. I’m James Bucky Barnes. And you’re part of my efforts to make amends.” Smile. The smile’s important. The smile is something his therapist didn’t tell him to do. The smile means he’s not following orders, he’s doing things his own way. It’s stupid. But when he practices the phrase, it keeps him from punching the mirror.
Series
- Part 1 of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier AKA Maybe It’s Time Captain America Died
- Part 2 of NCU
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Summary
There’s no plan. Why would there be a plan? Who would need a plan when running into an open war zone?
Bucky thinks that if he and Sam had met when they were thirteen they’d be inseparable by now. Fortunately for both of them they met when Bucky was a brainwashed assassin and Sam was trying to help kill him, so they can keep driving each other up the wall.
Series
- Part 2 of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier AKA Maybe It’s Time Captain America Died
- Part 3 of NCU
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1.03 Stars And Stripes Bullshit by pollutedstar
Fandoms: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV)
09 Apr 2021
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Summary
Bucky pulls away, his hands cradling Steve’s face, and he begs without saying the word please. “Zemo knows ‘em. I can’t… I can’t risk it.”
The silence stretches on for a long time. It grates against Bucky’s ears. His life hasn’t been quiet since the war.
And then Steve reaches up to wrap his hands around Bucky’s, and it’s not a sentimental gesture. His grip is tight enough that Bucky thinks it might dent his metal palm, but he doesn’t care. They don’t take risks with this.
“Желание. Ржавый. Печь. Рассвет. Семнадцать. Доброкачественные. Девять. Возвращение домой. Один. Грузовой вагон.”
Series
- Part 3 of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier AKA Maybe It’s Time Captain America Died
- Part 4 of NCU
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1.04 Just A Hunk Of Metal by pollutedstar
Fandoms: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV)
21 Apr 2021
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Summary
Bucky's never seen the shield so red.
Series
- Part 4 of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier AKA Maybe It’s Time Captain America Died
- Part 5 of NCU
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1.05 I'm Safe and I'm Sorry by pollutedstar
Fandoms: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV)
05 May 2021
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Summary
Bucky thinks to himself, Sam wouldn’t have fucking done this. And when he picks up the shield, he comes to the awful realization that he’s gotten just as sucked up into this symbol as everyone else has. He picks up the shield and he figures out why exactly he hates Sam so much, and it’s not because he isn’t Steve. It’s because he isn’t him. Shield wrapped in his grip, Bucky stares at his arm and realizes he’s been fantasizing about this, because by God, if one thing could prove he wasn’t the Winter Soldier anymore, it’d be putting the cowl on himself.
But standing above Sam and Walker, Sam with his wings torn off and Walker full of nothing but anger and desire for the power, the title, Bucky knows that the only person who should carry that shield is the one person who knows how goddamn heavy it is.
He drops it at Sam’s side.
Series
- Part 5 of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier AKA Maybe It’s Time Captain America Died
- Part 6 of NCU
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1.06 One World, One People by pollutedstar
Fandoms: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV)
04 Aug 2021
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Summary
Yeah, Sam says on national television that the government is fucked and that the enemy was right and that the people in power are the people who will do anything to maintain it, and Bucky stares in awe at the man carrying the weight of those stars and stripes. But what really guts him, the image that he will close his eyes and see for days after, is Sam Wilson carrying the dead body of the enemy because she deserved decency. This is what Captain America does, he thinks. But it doesn’t matter. And he knows it. Because what Captain America does isn’t for him to decide.
Series
- Part 6 of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier AKA Maybe It’s Time Captain America Died
- Part 7 of NCU
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Once You're Home by pollutedstar
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
29 Dec 2021
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Summary
At least he’s focused on something else now, something other than the things running through his head on repeat. The doctors tell him flashbacks are normal. It’s not shell shock or postconcussion syndrome nowadays, but some acronym he hasn’t bothered learning because he’s sure they’ll ban that one in a few years too when too many soldiers come down with it.
They gave him a lot of techniques for how to remind himself where he is, how to prove to himself that it’s the 21st century—like he could ever forget—and that he’s not in war anymore, but they don’t really help. He’s never lost in the violent images and memories. They just won’t fucking stop.
Series
- Part 8 of NCU
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Summary
“He’s crazy, right? Time travel and spells are taking it a little far, even for us.”
Peter shudders at Page’s words, sitting folded up in their waiting area while the three of them discuss inside Matt’s office. She’s making sense, sure; he doubts his own story most of the time. Wonders if he’s gone crazy with grief, made up something in his head after his friends left and May died. Maybe he was never real to begin with. He doesn’t exactly have proof otherwise. But hearing it from someone else…
Nelson counters, “I think we can all agree that the rest of New York has gotten weirder than Hell’s Kitchen.”
“Weird enough to believe this?”
“The kid can shoot webs out of his arms. He’s clearly telling the truth about some of it.”
Matt’s voice interrupts. “I believe him.”
“I don’t even think Catholics are allowed to believe in wizards, Matt.”
“He’s not Catholic anymore.”
“Thanks for rallying my defense, Foggy.” Matt sighs, and given the creak of the floorboards, begins to pace. “I mean, half the world got turned to dust because of a tyrannical alien snapping his fingers. Isn’t this… I don’t know, it’s not as crazy as that.”
Series
- Part 9 of NCU
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An Unhaunted House by pollutedstar
Fandoms: Captain Marvel (2019), The Marvels (Movie 2023), Marvel Cinematic Universe
24 Nov 2023
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Summary
Carol knows about Maria’s little girl before the two of them end up making out in the bathroom of a bar playing Queen over the speakers. Maria keeps a little picture of her in her pocket at all times, treating it with more care than she gives her dog tags or her body. So Carol assumes, in the back of her mind, that this will be a one time thing. It’s not like Maria can bring her home, introduce her to her parents and daughter, spend Christmas eves together and plan family dinners. She’s not cut out for it.
Instead, she’ll savor what she can while it lasts.
Series
- Part 10 of NCU
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Tags
Summary
Foggy’s still here, is the problem. No heartbeat, no warmth, but Matt feels him on his bad days. Hears his snore with aching clarity in the night and tries to muffle it with a pillow, but the sound stays constant. Sometimes something touches him in his empty apartment, trails up his arm and sweeps across the back of his neck. It’s usually Foggy, but sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s spiders, sometimes it’s Stick. Sometimes it’s just the draft of his air conditioner, but he can never be sure of that one. He stalks his apartment in the night like it’s his city, forcing himself into every haunted corner to prove he’s really alone.
His hand touches something slimy and awful on his living room wall once at two in the morning and he screams and he gags and he kneels down on the floor before taking his hand to clutch at his head and realizing there’s nothing on it at all.
Series
- Part 11 of NCU