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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Donald Trump was bored in the White House, and horny, so he called up Bill to relieve his pent up stress from his job as President.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    557
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    76
  2. Tags
    Summary

    The smell of blood, the smell of iron, the smell of fire.

    An FBI Agent walks into a bar, the victim of his crimes standing at the wall. An open-mouth kiss, an encounter, and a proposition.

    A What-If Scenario about Jigsaw Apprentice Mallick for the Reverse Big Bang Challenge.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,712
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    35
  3. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    100
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    30
    Hits:
    191
  4. Tags
    Summary

    A mother is supposed to feel certain of her love for her child. Fiona was only certain that her child didn't deserve to be burdened with a ruined Grey Warden for a mother, and an absent King for a father. Her future in question she journeys to Denerim to present King Maric with their child, and ensure that the babe never know the truth of his parentage.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,213
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    68
  5. Tags
    Summary

    They moved like dusk and dawn, destined to meet in the hush between.
    A shape was forming.
    One bent to avoid it; the other became its centre.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,598
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    114
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Ed jerks his head in the direction of the couch in the nearby waiting nook, and prepares himself for impending disaster.

    The impending disaster follows. Eagerly.

    “I’ve organized everything chronologically,” he says, setting the overstuffed briefcase down and thumbing through some of the piles. “But I can, of course, rearrange the presentation order based on your personal preferences! Alphabetically? Most-to-least amusing? Oh! Or a mystery draw - just pick a random folder without looking! That could be fun, couldn’t it?”

    Somewhere, deep in Ed’s soul, a very tiny, very tired voice goes: there is something deeply wrong with you as a man, Ed. You’re into this. Don’t even try to fucking deny it.

    (Or: Stede Bonnet is getting his first tattoo. Maybe. If Ed is able to rifle through Stede's entire briefcase of ideas and pro/con lists and flow charts and excel spreadsheets, and figure out what he actually wants. Which might take some time. A Reverse Big Bang 2025 fic with art by bbyteach!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    186
  7. Tags
    Summary

    In 2025, best friends Ed and Stede are a week away from opening the flagship store for their joint fashion brand, Gentlebeard. Stede finds an ornate mirror in a new antiques shop, and purchases it for the store, despite warnings from a strange blond Scotsman.

    In 1718, Ed and Stede are getting ready to celebrate their first wedding anniversary. The crew brings them an anniversary gift, an ornate mirror that they found on a raid, despite Frenchie's insistence that the mirror is cursed.

    The mirror may not be cursed, but 2025 Ed and Stede, and 1718 Ed and Stede quickly learn that it is magic when they swap places.

    There's just one tiny problem: there aren't any instructions for how to get home again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    157
  8. Tags
    Summary

    After their breakup, Tommy and Buck are cauguht in a burning building and must rely on one another to stay alive and stay safe.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,735
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    231
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    2,221
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Russandol had not always known who he was, but he always knew Findekáno supported him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,624
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    76
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    301
  10. Tags
    Summary

    In which the Fëanorians are reincarnated as animals, and their loved ones must work together to return them to their original forms!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    43
    Hits:
    317
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Gale and Astarion meet during the filming of a famous food show.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,807
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    44
    Hits:
    351
  12. Tags
    Summary

    And they all lived happily ever after and opened up Pyrate Theatre, putting on the best fuckin shows on the high seas three nights a week with matinees. Everybody gets to write a play, and they have certainly put on some plays. The stage is set: tonight, it's opening night for Ed.

    Unless something absolutely horrible happens first.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,936
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    217
  13. Tags
    Summary

    In the dead of night, Stede Bonnet is woken up by a banging on his cottage door. It's Ed Teach and his annoying friend Iggy, who is so direly wounded he might not recover. In a last ditch attempt to save him, Ed and Stede turn to the warlock known as Frenchie, whose music can heal blights and move mountains.

    Together they embark on a journey to save Izzy's life. The journey will introduce them to innkeepers and bandits, bounty hunters and royals, Fae beings of the other-world and the ghosts of each other's pasts. It will take them through forests and cities, mountains and crossroads, to the ancient haunts of the Mage King himself.

    And if they find their way home again, nothing will ever be the same.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    85,727
    Chapters:
    21/21
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    71
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    863
  14. Tags
    Summary

    "Astarion?" Gale voice cuts through the darkness. “Are you quite alr–"

    Shadowheart doesn’t see it but she hears it: the sudden sip of breath that comes right before a kiss. A muffled gasp that melts into pleasure. Then, two lungs in tune with each other, sharing space, sharing breath. She presses her gauntlets to her lips and feels their steel warm to her skin.

    Lady of Sorrows guide her... had she ever been kissed like that?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,943
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    120
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1,041
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Astarion faints in front of Gale.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    682
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    521
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Gale can't resist a cursed lanceboard, and his fate is in Astarion's hands

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    924
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    161
  17. Tags
    Summary

    “You will be sacrificed to the sea dragon the night of the next full moon,” his father tells him, in the same matter-of-fact tone he used when informing Stede of his engagement.

    Stede stares at him, blood draining away from his face. “What?” he manages. Sacrificed? In two days? He looks at Lord Hornigold, who nods in agreement, and Nigel and Chauncey, who look very pleased. “You mean I’ll… I’ll die?”

    “To keep our people safe,” his father says.

    “Ned has to be placated and it’s only the blood of a royal virgin that appeases him,” Lord Hornigold explains.

    Prince Stede Bonnet is seconds away from being sacrificed to a sea dragon when a sea monster named Ed rescues him instead.
    Maybe Stede can return the favour.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    74,473
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    213
    Kudos:
    142
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    3,599
  18. Tags
    Summary

    When Stede was a young fairy, his mother told him stories about a ferocious Byrd that never touched the ground. These mysterious creatures were said to have called themselves Hāringi. Some fae were convinced the Hāringi were a warning, an omen of ill fortune and despair. Others believed the creatures to be myth, nothing more than a tale created to scare younglings. To Stede, they were everything. Shackled to his duty as heir to his father’s kingdom, Stede never had the chance to fly and travel as his peers did. To him, the Hāringi represented never ending adventure, and the freedom to live the life he wanted, rather than the one chosen for him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,722
    Chapters:
    18/18
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    563
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Wherein Astarion realizes that he doesn't mind Gale's company.
    (Or: 5 times Astarion eschewed Gale's company - and 1 time he welcomed it.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,252
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    99
  20. Tags
    Summary

    "to none was her heart's love given"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    63

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