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Old Things Made New by wil_de_worde for V_Buttons_P, Quinhwyvar
Fandoms: Kingsman (Movies)
24 Nov 2025
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Eggsy Unwin thought he was making the life the universe wanted him to. Six months of wedded bliss has been everything but and it's getting harder and harder to keep up the charade. As he grows distant from his new bride and an entire country grows suspicious, he flies home to clear his head and say his final piece to Harry. Once that's off his chest, he can pack it in, come back to Stockholm, and be the partner that Tilde deserves.
So long as Harry doesn't reciprocate, of course.
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Eggsy liked being submissive to his new partners. He really trusted them. He’s never trusted anyone else enough to let go like this.
Turns out, when this is the first time you’ve ever let your guard down to trust someone like that, you find out a lot about yourself when you fully give up that control to them.
Thankfully, they are very loving doms who just want what’s best for him, and Eggsy thinks they’d try to be whatever he needed them to be. They were very firm, but so very careful with him.
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Dirk seees a bug in his kitchen and goes a little bonkers
this has been rattling around in my brain since the day after i saw a bug in the kitdchen befoer work and my partner had to look for it while i was out
took exactly an hour to write which is very surprising for me- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 614
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 5
- Hits:
- 41
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Idiots in Love (tonight the music seems so loud) by unheard_frequencies
Fandoms: Kingsman (Movies)
21 Oct 2024
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After finding Harry alive and well in a white padded cell in Kentucky, Eggsy unintentionally woos him with his singing. It takes him five songs to succeed.
Or: 5 times Eggsy sings for Harry and 1 time he doesn't have to
Series
- Part 1 of Stupidly in Love
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Eggsy is a good friend. So, when Roxy asks him for help, he doesn't hesitate. Eggsy is also heads over heels in love with Harry Hart. So, when the man starts distancing himself from Eggsy, he grows more than a little frustrated.
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An irrational surge of anger burned on Harry’s tongue. “You knocked me out.”
Galahad stirred awake. “Good morning, darlin’,” he greeted, voice husky with sleep. He unfurled like a drowsy cat, lifting his arms above his head with a groan that did nothing to stifle Harry’s glower.
“You drugged me,” Harry enunciated each vowel like a dagger thrust. Although he was fuzzy around the edges as if nursing a hangover, he felt more human. More alert. And understandably, significantly ticked off. “Did you have a reason to do that, or did it simply strike you as amusing to strike while my guard was down?”
“Ah. Maybe not darlin’’?” Galahad mused.
[welcome to more role swap shenanigans! featuring Galahad!Eggsy and Candidate!Harry]
[Discontinued until further notice.]
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Dark Fantasies by kingsman-fiend (azrael_deaths_angel), Lyssa13
Fandoms: Kingsman (Movies)
12 Mar 2024
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Summary
//Please heed the tags!//
//We would also like to make it clear that the authors do not condone the use of manipulation to facilitate a relationship and understand the heightened dangers of manipulation in a BDSM environment. Understand that this is a dark fic. Again, please read the tags carefully.//Dom, Switch, sub, or neutral. It was once commonplace to know your dynamic, but now only the upper classes can afford the tests and education, meaning most of the world operate as neutrals. So when a neutral estate kid named Eggsy calls in a favour and happens to meet one of those upper class Doms, he begins to learn things about himself and the world he never anticipated. And the world's a lot more fucked up than he thought.
What Harry's offering... He's told it's what he needs, but is it something he actually wants? -
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"What about biters," Jamal suggests.
Both of his friends stare at him as if he’s grown two heads.
"No, shove off and listen, 'aight? You need the dosh and m’sister did it once, went up to one of 'em special blood houses, and they didn't pay half bad, she said."
"I’m not lettin’ a biter have a go at my …" Damn it. Eggsy hates that his interest is piqued. "Wait. How much?"
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I Think I'd Have a Heart Attack | Febuwhump Day 8 by TwentyFunnyBunnies
Fandoms: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
17 Feb 2023
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Ahsoka tried to say something, but a sharp pain sliced its way through her chest and she cried out in pain, unable to get out much more sound.
“Ahsoka!” Anakin leaped forward to grab her shoulders. “Ahsoka, what’s going on?”
Ahsoka sank to the floor and curled into herself. “H-heart attack,” she forced out. “I’m having a heart attack!”
Series
- Part 8 of 'Twas the 28 Days of Fubuwhump 2023
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After the mission on which they got together, Arthur didn‘t take active part in a mission again and stayed at the agency instead. Eggsy was glad about it. Even when he was in dangerous situations, he could always calm himself with the knowledge that Harry was safe. No one could hurt him again. Of course Harry wasn‘t happy that Eggsy always left without him. The worry for his safety was endless and every time Eggsy came back from a mission injured, Harry was there immediately, threatening everyone who wouldn‘t let him into medical before Eggsy‘s treatment was over.
So yes, after a long time, Eggsy‘s life was finally very good. He had a job he loved, the best colleagues, he got to torment the recruits with difficult exercises on a regular basis and he had the most amazing boyfriend, who worked at his desk all the time and didn‘t have to face the dangers their job held anymore.
At least that‘s what he thought until one day, Merlin called Harry and him to his office.
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You wish you could lobotomize yourself.
To feel shocks force your body to convulse until your consciousness blacks out. Your limp eyes will be met with the tender press of an ice pick right through the socket. You could lose one of said eyes, or maybe you could just plainly die, but while your brains get scrambled you’ll know it’s by the hand of the most intelligent person you know. You’d lie there, limp and drooling and empty as though you just got the best fucking of your life, the only difference being that you’d never have to feel the rush of your own awareness hit you. There’d be no post nut regret, no pain of being left, only the trickle of blood from the point of entry and a bit of spit leaking down your chin.
You will destroy yourself, for you are the only one with the power to do it completely and with the greatest satisfaction. You will crush yourself into the clay the Prometheus used to create humanity and finally be free from all of the things that are coiling around your throat and keeping you from breathing.
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Eggsy was far too pure for the world.
Everyone who met him could tell, but only four people truly understood why. Three, if toddlers don't really count.
Jamal, Jamal's dad, Ryan, and Daisy, were the only people who could see through to Eggsy's true self.
They knew his biggest secret. They, and only they, knew that Eggsy was a unicorn.
More importantly, they also knew that Eggsy wasn't so pure because he was a unicorn, but that he was a unicorn because he was so pure.Rating may change.
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The Lost Heiress by MadameBaggio
Fandoms: Kingsman (Movies), Chronicles of Narnia (Movies), St Trinian's (2007 2009)
02 Mar 2022
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Susan Pevensie didn't think her life could get better: she had a job she loved, great friends, and Merlin had finally done something about them.
Funny how a kidnapping can change everything.
Time to get to work again.
Series
- Part 4 of The Gentle Lady
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Where Will You Be When I'm Gone? by Stronglyobsessed for Snafu07
Fandoms: Kingsman (Movies)
25 Jul 2021
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Several years later, after a long life well lived, Harry finds his demise of old age and disease plagued by chemicals exposed on the job. Eggsy knows he needs to be strong for his pseudo dads, especially Merlin. Who is losing his husband of several decades, and partner of over sixty years. Except Eggsy finds it hard to hold himself together, when being held in his husband's arms. He finds himself worrying of his own death, in the future, and the small family he'll leave behind too soon.
Thankfully Sebastain is there for his husband, no matter what.
Series
- Part 13 of The Sebwin Chronicles
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Eggsy, a 25 year old man working for Kingsman Publishing's, hoping to make his mark in the writing world. His boss, Chester King, seems to have other plans, causing Eggsy to grow frustrated. His irritation, for lack of advancement, is nothing in comparison to the news he receives after a yearly physical. What he assumes is a faulty blood test ran by the labs, turns into a fatal blood disorder with no hope for a cure. He's given the diagnosis: Aplastic Anemia. A disorder in which the body stops producing white, red and platelet blood cells. Eggsy's devastation leads to unhealthy coping, and decides to keep the diagnosis close to his chest, receiving treatment alone. With a ticking clock looming over his head, Eggsy makes a bucket list with one main objective: Kiss Scot.
Merlin runs his own company, frequenting Eggsy's workplace to fix all the broken down, second hand computers King has him use. He's nice on the eyes, flirty and fit as fuck. Eggsy figures he's got a shot with the intentions of a date, a kiss and maybe even a good friend. What he's not expecting is to fall in love, and an even bigger kink in his plans is when Merlin falls in love with him, too. Who couldn't possibly want Eggsy. Or so he thinks.
Series
- Part 6 of ABC Medical Series
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Eggsy and Harry have drastically different mission styles.
Chaos ensues. But so does other things?
or;
the mission where they try to save the world from economical and social turmoil through a drug bust, but they also develop a little something something along the way. rivalry may or may not get in the way, but life and death sure as hell does. oh also, merlin and roxy are great supports.
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Been Here All Night by FightingIrishGirl for what_a_dork_fish, Lady Mephistopheles (LadyMephistopheles)
Fandoms: Kingsman (Movies)
25 Jan 2021
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Eggsy gets smashed with some friends, leading to some rather unexpected consequences. Not that he's complaining.
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What happened to Dirk's My Little Pony Bishoujo Rainbow Dash figure? by Deiohx
Fandoms: Homestuck
02 Dec 2020
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It was an accident.
It was honest to god an accident that none of them intended. But now it was done and none of them could change what had happened.
but now, Dirk's Rainbow Dash bishoujo figure laid broken on the living room floor and they had less than an hour to fix it.
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or, Jane, Roxy and Jake fuck up beyond belief while hanging out -
FINDING HARRY HART, CODENAME: AGENT GALAHAD, (KINGSMAN THE GOLDEN CIRCLE AU) by FuckYeahHarryHart
Fandoms: Kingsman (Movies)
29 Nov 2020
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KINGSMAN: THE GOLDEN CIRCLE, IN MY AU, HARRY HART WOULD STILL BE A BADASS WHEN THEY FIND OUT HE’S ALIVE. HE’S JUST A BAD ASS WITH NO MEMORY. This is what happened when they found Harry. And Roxy is alive, cause “what the hell?” Harry Hart will always be a badass gentleman spy, memory or no.
Merlin, Eggsy and Roxy survived the explosions that destroyed Kingsman. Following the clues from their doomsday protocol, the three of them traveled to Kentucky to Statesman HQ.
They are confronted by Agent Tequila where they try to explain what they are doing there. Tequila does not believe them. He disarms and disables them. The scene begins in Statesman underground holding room. Roxy, Eggsy and Merlin wake up to find that they are bound and restrained.
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You’ve been an outsider type your whole life, and you don’t really care that you are. Of course, it doesn’t matter when none of your peers are interested in hanging out with you in the first place. Besides, who’s supposed to be the unapproachable one between you and Roxy if not you? It doesn’t matter that your loneliness curls its way inside of you, smothering you deep down inside of you until really there’s nothing there but the loneliness and your own sense of superiority. It doesn’t matter that nobody is really around to tell you whether or not the way that you notice the flex and stretch of the other guys in your gym class is normal for a boy of your age and inclination. Not that it matters though, of course it doesn’t. You’ve graduated past the need for insecurities like that, or, at least, that’s what you tell yourself.
Then, you meet Jake.
Jake English is 5’8 to your 5’10, he’s compact muscle and old timey phrases and the plushest lips you’ve ever seen. Damn does he have an ass, too. It’s firm and his thighs are strong and God you’re staring. You’re staring at him and Dirk it is 10am you should not be being like this so god damn early in the morning.
Series
- Part 2 of Testosterone